Chapter 13
Social and Personality Development in Middle Childhood
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Learning Objectives
Key Terms and Concepts
Chapter Outline
Lecture Suggestions
The Effects of Divorce
Popularity
Class Activities
Supplemental Reading List
Prentice Hall PowerPoints available online
Multimedia Ideas
Handouts
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LEARNING OBJECTIVES
After reading Chapter 13, students will know:
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Describe psychosocial development in middle childhood.
Learn how children understand themselves in middle childhood.
Explain self-esteem in middle childhood.
Learn how self-esteem can be promoted.
Describe ethnicity and self-esteem.
Understand the role of friendship during middle childhood.
Describe the stages of friendship.
Explain status and its relationship to friendships.
Understand the personality characteristics that lead to popularity.
Describe social problem solving abilities.
Learn how to teach social competence.
Understand gender and friendships.
Describe friendships across racial and ethnic lines.
Understand bullying.
Learn how to increase children’s social competence.
Understand the challenges that parents and children face during middle childhood.
Describe family life during middle-childhood.
Understand the effects of both parents working.
Learn about self-care.
Understand divorce.
Describe single-parent families.
Describe life in blended families.
Understand orphanages in the 21st century.
Explain the academic environment in middle childhood.
Describe cultural comparisons in attributions.
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KEY TERMS AND CONCEPTS
industry-versus-inferiority stage
social comparison
self-esteem
social competence
social problem-solving
dominance hierarchy
co-regulation
self-care children
blended family
attributions
CHAPTER OUTLINE
I.
The Developing Self
A. According to Erik Erikson, middle childhood encompasses the Industry-versusinferiority Stage, the period from ages 6 to 12 characterized by a focus on efforts to attain
competence in meeting the challenges presented by parents, peers, school, and the other
complexities of the modern world.
B. During middle childhood, children begin to view themselves less in terms of external
physical attributes and more in terms of psychological traits.
1. Children realize they are good at some things and not so good at others.
2. Their self-concepts become divided into personal and academic spheres.
3. Children use Social Comparison, comparing themselves to the abilities,
expertise, and opinions of others.
a. Festinger proposed that when objective measures are absent, people
rely on social reality, how others act, think, feel, and view the world.
b. Children look to others who are similar to themselves.
c. Sometimes children make downward social comparisons with others
who are obviously less competent or successful to raise or protect their
self-esteem.
C. Children in these years are developing self-esteem; those with chronically low self-esteem
can become trapped in a cycle of failure in which low self-esteem feeds on itself by
producing low expectations and poor performance. Self-esteem, an individual’s overall and
specific positive and negative self-evaluation, develops in important ways during middle
childhood.
1. Children increasingly compare themselves to others.
2. Children are developing their own standards.
3. Self-esteem becomes differentiated and, for most children, increases during
middle childhood.
4. Children with low self-esteem may become enmeshed in a cycle of failure that is
difficult to break, although using authoritative child-rearing practices may help
break the cycle.
5. Early research showed that the self-esteem of minority groups was lower than
that of majority groups due to prejudice and discrimination.
II. Relationships: Building Friendship in Middle Childhood
A. Children’s understanding of friendship passes through stages, from a focus on mutual liking
and time spent together through the consideration of personal traits and the rewards that
friendship provides to an appreciation of intimacy and loyalty.
B. Friendships influence children’s development in several ways.
1. Friends provide information about the world and other people.
2. Friends provide emotional support and help kids to handle stress.
3. Friends teach children how to manage and control their emotions.
4. Friends teach about communication with others.
5. Friends foster intellectual growth.
6. Friends allow children to practice relationship skills.
C. According to William Damon, children’s friendships go through three stages.
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1.
D.
E.
F.
G.
H.
I.
Stage 1 — ages 4–7.
a. Children see friends as like themselves.
b. Children see friends as people to share toys and activities with.
c. Children do not take into account personal traits.
2. Stage 2 — ages 8–10.
a. Children now begin to take others personal qualities and traits into
consideration.
b. Friends are viewed in terms of the kinds of rewards they provide.
c. Friendships are based on mutual trust.
3. Stage 3—ages 11–15.
a. Friendships become based on intimacy and loyalty.
b. Friendships involve mutual disclosure and exclusivity.
Boys and girls in middle childhood increasingly prefer same-gender friendships.
Friendships among children of different racial groups.
1. Male friendships are characterized by groups, clear dominance hierarchies, and
restrictive play.
2. Female friendships tend to involve one or two close relationships, equal status,
and a reliance on cooperation.
3. Equal-status interactions among members of different racial groups can lead to
improved understanding, mutual respect and acceptance, and a decreased
tendency to stereotype.
Popular children have Social Competence, the collection of individual social skills that
permit individuals to perform successfully in social settings.
1. They are helpful and cooperative.
2. They have a good sense of humor.
3. They have good emotional understanding.
4. They ask for help when necessary.
5. They are not overly reliant on others.
6. They can adapt to social situations.
Another factor that relates to children’s popularity is skill at Social Problem Solving, the
use of strategies for solving social conflicts in ways that are satisfactory both to oneself and
to others.
Several programs have been developed to teach children social skills that seem to underlie
general social competence, such as abilities to carry on conversations with friends.
Avoidance of the opposite sex becomes very pronounced during middle childhood.
1. Children’s friendships are almost entirely sex-segregated.
2. When the sexes interact it is called “border work,” is often romantic, and helps
emphasize the clear boundaries between the sexes.
3. The nature of boys’ and girls’ friendships is different.
a. Boys have larger networks of friends than girls do.
b. Boys have a strict Dominance Hierarchy, which is composed of
rankings that represent the relative social power of those in a group
hierarchy.
c. Boys attempt to maintain and improve their status in the hierarchy,
which makes for a style of play known as restrictive play where
interactions are interrupted when status is challenged.
d. Girls focus on one or two “best friends” of relatively equal status.
e. Conflicts among girls are solved by compromise, ignoring the situation,
or giving in.
f Girls, however, can be confrontational with other girls not their friends
or with boys.
g. Girls’ language is less confrontational and direct than boys’.
About 160,000 U.S. schoolchildren stay home from school each day because they are
afraid of being bullied.
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1.
Victims of bullies are loners, passive, cry easily, and lack the social skills to
defuse a bullying situation.
2. Ninety per-cent of middle-school students report being bullied at some point
during school.
3. About 15 percent of students bully others at one time or another.
a. Half of all bullies come from abusive homes, tend to watch more
television violence, and misbehave more at home and at school than do
non-bullies.
b. Bullying can be stopped by teaching victims how to defuse difficult
circumstances and exert social pressure on bullies.
III. Home and School in Middle Childhood
A. Middle childhood is a period of Co-regulation, a transition stage during which children
and parents jointly control the children’s behavior.
1. One of the basic challenges facing children and their parents is to navigate the
independence that increasingly characterizes children’s behavior during middle
childhood.
2. During this period, children move from being almost completely controlled by
their parents to increasingly controlling their own destinies.
B. During middle-childhood, children spend significantly less time with their parents, but
parents remain major influences in their children’s’ lives.
1. Siblings, an important influence on children during middle childhood, can
provide support, companionship, and a sense of security, but they can also be a
source of strife.
2. Sibling rivalry can be intense when siblings are similar in age and gender.
3. Only children miss out on the benefits siblings can bring, but they are as welladjusted as children with brothers and sisters.
4. Children in families in which both parents work outside the home generally fare
well. Self-care children who fend for themselves after school may develop
independence and a sense of competence and contribution.
a. The good adjustment of children whose mothers and fathers both work
relates to the psychological adjustment of the parents, especially the
mothers.
b. Mothers satisfied with their lives tend to be nurturing toward their
children.
C. The Consequences of Divorce: Immediately after a divorce, the effects on children in the
middle childhood years can be serious, depending on the financial condition of the family
and the hostility level between spouses before the divorce.
1. Only half of children in the U.S. will pass through childhood living with both
parents each of whom has been mated only once.
2. During the early stage of middle childhood, children tend to blame themselves
for the breakup.
3. Both children and parents may show several types of psychological
maladjustments for 6 months to 2 years after a divorce.
a. Anxiety
b. Depression
c. Sleep disturbances
d. Phobias
4. Most children will live with their mother and the mother-child relationship may
decline temporarily.
5. After 18 months to 2 years, most children return to their pre-divorce
psychological adjustment.
6. Twice as many children of divorced parents require psychological counseling as
do children from intact families.
7. The consequences of living in a single-parent family depend on the financial
condition of the family and, if there had been two parents, the level of hostility
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D.
E.
F.
G.
H.
that existed between them. For some children, living in a home with an unhappy
marriage that is high in conflict has stronger negative consequences than a
divorce.
a. Anxiety
b. Depression
c. Sleep disturbances
d. Phobias
Almost one quarter of all children under 18 in the U.S. live with only one parent.
1. Numbers are higher for minority children.
2. In the majority of cases, the single parent is the mother.
3. The consequences of living in a single parent home depend on:
a. Whether the other parent ever lived at home;
b. Economic status;
c. The amount of time the parent spends with the child;
d. The degree of stress in the household.
Blended families present challenges to the child but can also offer opportunities for
increased social interaction.
1. Experts predict that by 2000, over 50 percent of children born in the last decade
will be stepchildren.
2. Living in a blended family involves role ambiguity, in which roles and
expectations are unclear.
3. School-age children often adjust relatively smoothly to a blended family.
a. Financial status of family improves
b. More people to share household chores
c. More social interaction and attention
4. Not all children adjust well, especially if the new relationship is threatening.
Families with Gay and Lesbian Parents
1. Estimates range from 1 to 5 million families headed by two same-sex partners
(or spouses in an increasing number of States), suggesting that some 6 million
children have gay/lesbian parents in the U.S.
2. Children of same-sex parents experience
a. Less abuse than those of heterosexual parents
b. The same numbers and types of friends as those with heterosexual
parents
c. Behavior no more or less-gender-typed
d. State of being well-adjusted
e. Adolescent romantic relationships and sexual behavior that is no
different from those of adolescents living with opposite-sex parents.
The term “orphanage” has been replaced by group home or residential treatment center,
which refer to group homes used for youngsters whose parents are no longer able to care
for them adequately.
Schools have a profound effect on children’s lives.
1. Attributions are people’s explanations for the reason behind their behaviors.
a. People tend to determine the causes of their academic success and
failure by considering three basic dimensions:
(1) Whether the cause is internal (dispositional) or external
(situational);
(2) Whether the cause is stable or unstable; and
(3) Whether the cause is controllable or uncontrollable.
a. How people feel about their performance in a situation is a factor of the
attributions they make for that performance.
b. When students attribute success or failure to facts that are relatively
stable and invariant, they are apt to expect similar performances in the
future.
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c.
2.
But if they attribute performance to unstable factors such as effort or
luck, their expectations about future performance are relatively
unaffected.
The strongest influences on people’s attributions are their race, ethnicity, and
socioeconomic status.
a. African Americans are less likely than whites to attribute success to
internal rather than external causes, feeling that task difficulty and luck
are the major determinants of their performance outcomes.
Paradoxically, recent studies show that African American children tend
to have higher levels of self-esteem than do their White counterparts.
b. Women often attribute their unsuccessful performance to low ability (an
uncontrollable factor), though they do not attribute successful
performance to high ability.
LECTURE SUGGESTIONS
Use Developmental Psychology: Prentice Hall Lecture Launcher, DVD and textbook CD
RACE, CULTURE, & ETHNICITY
According to Walker (2005), biologists first defined race as having three categories: Mongoloid, Caucasoid,
and Negroid. They differentiated each race based on skin color, hair, and facial features. Today race is
defined as a social construct, which may be viewed differently depending upon whether people are in that
group or outsiders.
Walker further offers that “race, in the social definition, provides a convenient way of categorizing people
and a way for self and group identity and empowerment” (p. 68).
Walker reports, “culture refers to the values, beliefs, language, rituals, and traditions of various groups that
are transmitted from generation to generation or individually learned” (p. 69). This makes culture collective
in nature.
Walker offers, “ethnicity is broadly defined as shared physical and cultural characteristics . . . and is also a
social identity based upon a person’s historical nationality or social group” (p. 69).
Walker, M. (2005). Identity development and the convergence of race, ethnicity, and gender. In D.
Comstock (Ed.), Diversity and Development: Critical Contexts Tthat Shape Our Lives and Relationships.
Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
CHILDREN’S VIEWS OF THEMSELVES
1.
According to Erikson, children in the middle childhood years are in the industry versus inferiority
stage, focusing on achieving competence and responding to a wide range of personal challenges.
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2.
Children in the middle childhood years begin to view themselves in terms of psychological
characteristics and to differentiate their self-concepts into separate areas. They use social comparison to
evaluate their behavior, abilities, expertise, and opinions.
How does socioeconomic status affect children’s views of themselves?
In a country that unfortunately still exhibits racism, how would this affect children’s views of themselves?
Source:
Klamon-Miller, G. (2006). Unpublished article. Toward a More Fully Cultural Curriculum.
THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE
Hetherington conducted a longitudinal study in an attempt to assess the long-term effects of divorce on parents
and children. She began with a sample of 144 middle-class, white children and their parents. Half were from
divorced, mother-custody homes; the other half were from intact homes. Half were boys and half girls. The
mean age was 10. Six years later, the sample included 124 of the original families, some of whom had
remarried, some of whom had re-divorced, and some whose children had changed custody arrangements. More
families were added to bring the second sample to 180 families. Using a variety of measures, this is what
Hetherington found:
1.
2.
3.
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5.
6.
7.
There were few differences between the mothers who remained single and the ones who remarried.
Mostly the remarried mothers reported greater life satisfaction. The non-remarried mothers reported
more loneliness and depression and a sense of less control over their lives.
Both sets of remarried fathers reported that the relationship with their stepchildren adversely affected
the marital relationship.
Mother-son relations are problematic in divorced, non-remarried homes. Relationships with daughters
are problematic in remarried families. Divorced mothers spend less time with their sons and report less
closeness and rapport with them.
Divorced mothers were ineffectual in their control attempts and their instructions were ignored. They
tended to nag and complain to their sons. Sons, however, admit they don’t listen to their mothers and
that their mothers can’t control them, but they report warm feelings for their moms. Remarried mothers
have more control over their sons but less control over their daughters.
Both sons and daughters in divorced families had more responsibilities and independence than children
in non-divorced families.
Divorced mothers monitored their children’s behavior less closely than mothers in intact families.
Children in divorced families were less likely to have adult supervision in their parent’s absence.
Stepfathers report low affection for their stepchildren. The interchanges between stepfathers and
stepdaughters and the conflicts between divorced mothers and sons are rated as the highest on hostility
of any dyad.
In another article, Hetherington describes the individual characteristics of children that play an important
role in protecting them from ill effects of divorce. These include a positive temperament and personality, a
supportive family milieu, and external social agencies to reinforce and strengthen the child’s coping efforts.
Sources:
Hetherington, E. M. (1989). Coping with family transitions: Winners, losers, and survivors. Child
Development, 60, 1–14.
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Hetherington, E. M. (1987). Family relations six years after divorce. In K. Pasley & M Ihinger-Tollman
(Eds.), Remarriage and Stepparenting Today: Current Research and Theory. New York: Guilford.
POPULARITY
Break your class into groups with the assignment that each group must make up a list of all the qualities that
make up a popular child, the qualities of unpopular children, and why these qualities help or hinder
friendships. The textbook lists some most- and least-liked behaviors on p. 393. If there is time, you might
ask them to devise ways of helping unpopular children learn better social skills (see Handout 13–2). Some
common approaches are
1.
Reinforcing socially appropriate behaviors
2.
Modeling social skills
3.
Coaching
4.
Role playing
One modern approach being used by schools involves conflict resolution training and peer mediation. These
approaches are particularly effective in teaching children how to handle bullies and fighting. For
information on school-based conflict resolution programs contact
The National Institute for Dispute Resolution
1726 M Street N. W.
Suite 500
Washington, DC 20036-4502
Sources:
Chance, P. (January/February, 1989) Kids without friends. Psychology Today, 29–31.
Coie, J. D., Dodge, K. A., & Kupersmidt, J. B. (1990). Peer group behavior and social status. In S. R. Asher
& J. D. Coie (Eds.), Peer Rejection in Childhood. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
DeAngelis, T. (June, 1997). Abused children have more conflicts with friends. APA Monitor, 32.
Hartup, W. W. (1996). The company they keep: Friendships and their developmental significance. Child
Development, 67, 1–13.
Zarbatany, L., Hartmann, D. P., & Rankin, D. B. (1990). The psychological functions of preadolescent peer
activities. Child Development, 61, 1067–1080.
CLASS ACTIVITIES
Your students may enjoy discussing the following questions:
1.
2.
Does the fact that students in low-achievement schools often have higher self-esteem than students in
high-achievement schools argue against high-achievement schools?
What is an example of the relationship between low self-esteem and failure in an area other than
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3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
academics? What can be done about it?
How do children’s friendships and adult friendships differ? How are they similar?
What might be some helpful (and harmful) strategies for successfully blending families after divorce
and remarriage?
Do you think boys’ and girls’ different approaches to friendship are primarily genetic or a result of
socialization? In what ways might they be influenced by either?
Do expectancies work outside the classroom? Among adults? How?
What ways can we help children foster self-esteem?
What might be on a list of ways parents can prepare their children to be safe, self-care children at home
alone while the parent(s) work?
HANDOUT 13.3
GROWING UP IN AMERICA: WHAT IF YOU ARE NOT “LIKE” THE DOMINANT CULTURE?
What color is Santa Claus? Cinderella? Snow White? Little Red Riding Hood? The tooth fairy? Superman?
Spiderman? Wonder-woman?
What would it feel like for an American child of Color to grow within the dominant culture’s White
images?
The same goes for all children who are not Christian in the U.S.
And for children with same-sex parents.
Source:
Klamon-Miller, G. (2006). Unpublished article. Toward a More Fully Cultural Curriculum. Adapted from
work by Walker.
SUPPLEMENTAL READING LIST
Banks, A. (2005). The developmental impact of trauma. In D. Comstock (Ed.) Diversity and Development:
Critical Contexts That Shape Our Lives and Relationships. Belmont, CA: Thomson: Brooks/Cole.
Banks, A. (2003). Post-traumatic stress disorder. In Slater, Daniel, & Banks (Eds.) The Complete Guide to
Mental Health for Women. Boston: Beacon Press.
Banks, A. (2001). Post-traumatic stress disorder: Relationships and brain chemistry. The Stone Center,
Wellesley College, JBMTI, MA.
Brown, L. M., & Gilligan, C. (1992). Meeting at the Crossroads: Women’s Psychology and Girls’
Development. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Capuzzi, D. & Gross, D. R. (1996). Youth at Risk: A Prevention Resource for Counselors, Teachers, and
Parents, 2nd ed. Alexandria, VA: American Counseling Association.
Carlson, N. R. (1999). Physiology of Behavior (6th ed.). Needham, MA: Allyn and Bacon.
Casey, B. J., Giedd, J. N. & Thomas, K. M. (2000). Structural and functional brain Development and its
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relation to cognitive development. Biological Psychology, 54, pp. 241-257.
Coll, C. G., Surrey, J., & Weingarten, K. (Eds.). (1998). Mothering Against the Odds: Diverse Voices of
Comtemporary Mothers. New York: The Guilford Press.
Comer, R. (2001). Fundamentals of Abnormal Psychology, 3 rd edition. New York: Worth Publishers.
Comstock, D. (2005). Diversity and Development: Critical Contexts That Shape Our Lives and
Relationships. Belmont, CA: Thomson: Brooks/Cole Publishing.
De Bellis, M. D., Baum, A., Birmaher, B., Keshavan, M., Eccard, C., Boring, A. Jenkins, F., Ryan, N.
(1999a). Developmental Traumatology part I: Biological stress systems. Biological Psychiatry,
45, pp. 1259-1270.
MULTIMEDIA IDEAS
Use Developmental Psychology: Prentice Hall Lecture Launcher, DVD and textbook CD
An American Stepfamily (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 26 minutes)
The problems of dealing with his, her, and ours, and the conflicting loyalties.
Being a Single Parent (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 19 minutes)
Explores three types of single parents: divorced, an unmarried woman, and a single father.
The Changing Face of the American Family (ABC News/Prentice Hall Video Library, 1994, 7:22 minutes)
A Nightline program where a judge and a politician (William Bennett) are asked to comment on
the statistics that show that only half of all children in America will live in a “traditional” family.
Children of Divorce (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 28 minutes)
A specially adapted Phil Donahue program that deals with academic, behavioral, and
psychological problems children may experience after a divorce in the family.
Family in Crisis (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 28 minutes)
A specially adapted Phil Donahue program that explores the plight of poor children growing up in
single-parent homes.
Family Influences (Insight Media, 1002, 30 min)
Illustrates how family background influences the way people view themselves and others. Also
defines four types of parents and compares the characteristics of children raised by each.
Family & Survival (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 52 minutes)
Phil Donahue discusses how less than 5 percent of American households fit the stereotype of the
traditional nuclear family. The program stresses how children have the greatest burden to bear with
disrupted families.
Fatherless in America (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 26 minutes)
A video that explores the fact that 40 percent of American children grow up in fatherless homes.
For the Love of Ben (The Cinema Guild, 1989, 27 minutes)
Examines the relationship between a boy and his father after a divorce.
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A Kid’s Guide to Divorce (Learning Tree, 1990, 36 minutes)
A video that addresses all aspects of separation, divorce, and remarriage.
Latchkey Kids: How to be Safe at Home (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 30 minutes)
In a revealing, often poignant program, four latchkey children allow us into their self-reliant world.
Ian, 10; Michael, 13; Karima, 13; and Carly, 14; speak candidly regarding skills they’ve developed
in preparing food, handling medical emergencies, and instituting safety procedures. The program,
produced in conjunction with the Canadian Institute for the Prevention of Child Abuse, offers
parents and children valuable insight into how to survive being “home alone.”
Latchkey Families (Films for the Humanities and Sciences, 23 minutes)
Offers guidance for parents whose children are alone at home while the parents are at work.
Peer Culture (Worlds of Childhood Series, University of Nebraska, 30 minutes)
Looks at peer relationships in different cultures.
Peer Relationships (Concept Media, 31 minutes)
Peers in Development (Insight Media, 1991, 60 minutes)
Peers in Middle School (International Film Bureau, 1974, 23 minutes)
Shows the influences of the peer group.
Personality: Middle Childhood (CRM/McGraw-Hill, 1978, 19 minutes)
Portrays how personality develops during the school years.
Self-esteem in School-age Children (Insight Media, 1990, 25 minutes)
HANDOUT 13–1
Use this handout to guide students’ reflections on the causes and consequences of popularity in grade
school.
HANDOUT 13–2
This handout can be used in a discussion of how teachers, parents, and friends can help children develop
positive social skills.
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HANDOUT 13–1
Reflective Journal Exercise #13
Think back to your elementary and junior high years. How would you describe your social competence? Were you a
high or a lower status child? Did you play predominantly with high or lower status children? Were you popular?
Think of a popular child in your school and an unpopular child (first names only!). Describe the popular child. Make
sure to consider the characteristics that contributed to that child’s popularity. Describe the unpopular child. What
characteristics contributed to this child’s unpopularity?
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HANDOUT 13–2
Encouraging Positive Social Relationships
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showing empathy and kindness
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helping
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giving
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accepting help graciously
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sharing
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showing positive verbal and physical contact
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comforting another in distress
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donating to others who are less fortunate
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showing concern
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responding to others who are sad
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taking the perspective of another person

showing affection

cooperating with others to complete a task
Source:
Wittmer, D. S. & Honig, A. S. (July, 1994). Encouraging positive social development in young children.
Young Children, 4–12.
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HANDOUT 13–3
What color is Santa Claus? Cinderella? Snow White? Little Red Riding Hood? The tooth fairy? Superman?
Spiderman? Wonder-woman?
What would it feel like for an American child of color growing up within the dominant culture’s White images?
The same goes for all children who are not Christian in the U.S.
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