Early Middle Childhood
Self Esteem, Friendships and
Social Skills: What You Need
to Help Your Child
CHEO Connects, November 28,
2011
Dr. Simone Kortstee, Psychologist
What will we talk about today
• Early Middle Childhood (6-9): Normal
Development
• What are the red flags for disruptions in
normal development?
• What can we do to facilitate healthy self
esteem and social skills
Middle Childhood: Normal Development
Social and Emotional Changes
• Continuing development of behavioural and
emotional regulation
• Increased independence from parents and family
• Their world becomes larger and children begin to
understand their place in it
• Friendships and relationships outside immediate
family become important
• Children want to be accepted as part of a group
Middle Childhood: Normal Development
Thinking and Learning
• Fast development of thinking / reasoning skills
• Better able to describe experiences, talk about
thoughts and feelings
• Less self-centered: less focus on self and more
concern for others
Middle Childhood: Normal Development
• Mentally and physically ready to be part of a greater
context.
• Through social interaction children begin to develop
a sense of pride in their abilities and
accomplishments.
• Children who are encouraged by their parents /
teachers start to enjoy that they can accomplish
something.
• They develop a feeling of competence and belief in
their skills.
• It feels good when that happens
Middle Childhood: Normal Development
Summary
During this stage, children are ready
to enter a larger social world.
Through interaction with other
children as well as their parents,
teachers, and other adults in their
lives, they start to enjoy their
accomplishments and begin to
develop a sense of belonging.
What to look for?
• Wide range of normal:
children are different in
terms of temperament and
personality.
• Be accepting of individual
differences
• Difficulties with emotional /
behavioural regulation
• Irritability / sadness
• Fears and anxieties
What to look for?
• Difficulties with
friendships
• Learning Difficulties
• Sleep difficulties
• Withdrawal / aches
and pains / not
wanting to go to
school
How to support your child developing
healthy self-esteem and social skills?
Talk with your child at their
developmental level.
Talking with your child at this age
allows your child to share and sort
out their thoughts and feelings,
build a sense of connection and
belonging, and sets the stage for
continued communication at later
stages of development.
Set the stage now, while your child
wants to talk to you, be with you,
be like you 
How to support your child developing
healthy self-esteem and social skills?
Spend time with your child,
live a family life
Play together and do chores
together
Guide your child’s thinking
and problem solving
Be part of your child’s world
Share your values
Provide a sense of belonging!
How to support your child developing
healthy self-esteem and social skills?
Facilitate unstructured
play
Arrange play
opportunities: time,
playmates.
Allow free play
without interference
of adults
How to support your child developing
healthy self-esteem and social skills?
Positive Parenting
Show affection, be kind.
Build trust.
Set clear expectations and create predictable routines.
Show confidence and be in charge.
Instill confidence by realistic praise.
Praise or correct the behaviour not the child.
Problem Solve collaboratively, while remaining in charge.
Welcome your child’s experiences as an opportunity to talk.
What about bullies?
Talk with your child
about bullies and teach
them what to do.
Ensure that your child
feels safe to speak to
you and involve your
child in how to solve
the problem