DEVELOPING A HEALTHY
SELF-CONCEPT
INTRODUCTION:
1. This morning, I am going to provide a lesson on the second
greatest commandment.
 (Mt. 22:39) “And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
2. I don’t know if you have ever thought about this, but before
we can love our neighbor, we must first love ourselves. The
Bible teaches us that we are to love ourselves.
 (Eph. 5:33) “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves
himself…”
a. Loving ourselves doesn't mean we become self-centered.
b. It doesn’t mean we become arrogant and prideful.
c. It doesn’t mean we think that we are better than others.
3. Loving ourselves means that instead of having a poor selfimage, we have a good self-image. We think positively about
ourselves because God created us, and He doesn’t create
junk.
4. But although we are to have a good self-image, many of us, at
times, fall into the trap of condemning ourselves. We say
things like:
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
I am a failure.
No one likes me.
I am a terrible mother or father.
I am stupid.
I am unattractive.
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5. When we feed our minds with these condemning thoughts,
after a while, we start believing them. And before you know
it, we experience:
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
Low self-confidence.
Social withdrawal.
A lack of inner peace and security.
Depression.
An inability to accept compliments or expressions of love.
THIS MORNING, I WOULD LIKE TO
LIFT UP YOUR SPIRITS & YOUR SELF
ESTEEM BY PRESENTING SEVERAL
PRINCIPLES ON HOW WE CAN
DEVELOP A HEALTHY SELF-CONCEPT.
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I.
FIRST, TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY
SELF-CONCEPT, WE MUST
EMBRACE THE VALUE WE HAVE
IN GOD’S SIGHT.
1. God loves us so much, that He created us in His own image.
 (Gen. 1:27) “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He
created Him; male and female He created them.”
2. Since we are created in the image of God, we are precious
and valuable in His eyes.
 (Mt. 10:29-31) “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of
them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even
the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you
are worth more than many sparrows.”
a. We are so valuable to God that He sent His son, Jesus, to die
for us (Jn. 3:16).
3. Here is what amazes me about God. He values us even when
we make mistakes.
a. Some times we think that God loves and values us one day,
however, when we sin or make a mistake, we think that He
dislikes us. He values us one day, but He doesn’t the next.
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4. God values us even though we are not perfect.
ILLUSTRATION:
Perhaps no composer has captured the musical heart and soul
of America as did Irving Berlin. In addition to familiar favorites
such as “God Bless America” and “Easter Parade,” he wrote,
“I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas,” which still ranks as the
all-time best-selling musical score.
In an interview for the San Diego Union, Don Freeman asked
Berlin, “Is there any question you’ve never been asked that you
would like someone to ask you?”
“Well, yes, there is one,” he replied. “What do you think of the
many songs you’ve written that didn’t become hits?” My reply
would be that I still think they are wonderful.”

God, too, has an unshakable delight in what –and whom—He
has made. He thinks each person is wonderful, and whether
they’re a “hit” in the eyes of others or not, He will always
think they’re wonderful.
5. Since we are worth a lot to God, we need to value ourselves.
a. Knowing that we are made in God’s image should provide us
with a solid basis for self-worth. Our human worth is not
based on possessions, achievements, physical
attractiveness, or public acclaim. Instead it is based on being
made and created by God.
b. Because we bear God’s image, we can feel positive about
ourselves. When we criticize or downgrade ourselves, we
criticize God who has made us. Knowing that we are a
people of worth helps us to love ourselves, which in turn will
help us to love others.
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II.
SECOND, TO DEVELOP A
HEALTHY SELF-CONCEPT, WE
MUST REPLACE NEGATIVE SELFTALK WITH POSITIVE SELF- TALK.
 (Prov. 23:7) “As a man thinkest so he is.”



If you think negatively, you will be a negative person.
If you think you are a failure, you will fail.
If you think you are successful, you will be a success.
1. We carry on an inner dialogue with ourselves at an
astounding rate of about 1,300 words per minute. What we
say to ourselves influences our self-concept.
2. Dr. Albert Ellis says that most people have negative, selfdefeating and irrational thoughts about life and themselves.
Here are some irrational thoughts that some people have:




“I need to be loved by everyone.”
“I must be totally competent in every situation.”
“If I am not perfect, then people will think less of me.” (The
closest a person comes to perfection if when he fills out a job
application).
“When I sin, God does not love me anymore.”
a. When people buy into these irrational beliefs or lies they will
get down on themselves because they cannot fulfill them
which will produce a low self-esteem.
3. How do we change our negative self-talk to positive selftalk?
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a. We need to replace our irrational negative thoughts, with
positive truthful thoughts.




“I’m a failure…I’m successful.”
“God doesn’t love me because of my sins…God loves me
even though I am a sinner."
“I don’t deserve to be happy…I deserve to be happy.”
“I’ll never be able to change…I can change.”
 (Phil. 4:8) “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable –if anything is praiseworthy—think about such things.”
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III. THIRD, TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY
SELF-CONCEPT, WE MUST
BELIEVE IN OURSELVES.
 “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13).
1. The Apostle Paul wrote this verse to the Christians at
Philippi.
2. Although Paul was not an eloquent speaker, nor an attractive
man, nor a wealthy man, he became one of the greatest and
most loved and respected Christians of all times.
3. He became successful because he believed and loved Jesus
Christ with all of his heart and because he believed in
himself. Likewise, we must believe in ourselves as well.
a. Young people, if you believe in yourself, and are willing to
work hard, you can achieve anything that you want to do in
this life. No matter what other people say that you can and
cannot do, you can do it. Why? Because the Bible teaches
that you can.
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ILLUSTRATION:
Tommy Tighe, a six year old from California, had a vision that he
could establish peace in the world.
To accomplish his mission, Tommy had some bumper stickers
made that said, “PEACE, PLEASE! DO IT FOR US KIDS.”
To get his message out, this six-year-old went to Ronald
Reagan’s home, who at that time was the former president of
the United States, knocked on his door, and sold him a bumper
sticker.
Then He sent a bumper sticker to Mikhail Gorbachev, who in
turn sent him back $1.50 and a picture that said, “Go for peace,
Tommy,” and signed it, “Mikhail Gorbachev, President.”
After about two years of proclaiming his message of peace
around the world, Tommy went on The Joan Rivers Show. At
the end of the show, Joan leaned in and asked, “Tommy, do you
really think your bumper sticker will cause peace in the world?”
Tommy, enthusiastically and with a radiant smile, said, “So far
I’ve had it out two years and got the Berlin Wall down. I’m doing
pretty good, don’t you think?”
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b. Older people, do you know that you can achieve anything that
you want to do in this life. No matter how old you are, there
is still time to make a difference in the world.
(1) Galilao discovered the monthly and daily phases of the
moon when he was seventy-three years old.
(2) Cyrus Vanderbilt did not become a great railroad king until
he was seventy; at eighty-eight he was the most active
railroad man of his day.
(3) The Apostle John was in his nineties when God used him to
write an inspired book of the Bible.
(4) Joshua was between 85 and 100 years old when he led the
Israelites into their God-given homeland.
4. No matter how old you are, you can achieve anything that you
set your mind too. God can use you no matter how old you
are.
5. When we start believing in ourselves, we will feel good about
ourselves and we will have confidence to achieve our
dreams.
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IV. FOURTH, TO DEVELOP A
HEALTHY SELF-CONCEPT, WE
SHOULD FOCUS MORE ON JESUS
& HIS WILL THAN ON OURSELVES.
1. Even though we need to love ourselves and believe in
ourselves, we must not spend all of our time focusing on our
own desires and ourselves.
2. See the prevalent self-esteem approaches today teach that in
order to build up your self-esteem you must focus upon
yourself. However the Bible teaches that if you want a good
self-esteem you must not focus totally on self but on Jesus
and His will.
 (Lk. 14:26) “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and
mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his
own life—he cannot be my disciple.”
 (Mt. 16:24) “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and
take up his cross and follow me.”
a. Jesus is saying that if we want to be His disciples, we must
deny ourselves which in the Greek means “to lose sight of
ourselves.” In other words, we must focus on ourselves less
and Jesus more.
3. Every day, instead of asking, "What can I do for myself
today," we should ask “What can I do for Jesus today! How
can I serve the Lord today?
4. I promise that you will feel good about yourself when you
focus on Jesus and serve His people.
CONCLUSION:
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1. Brethren, the Bible teaches that we are to love our neighbors
as ourselves.
2. But before we can love our neighbor, we must learn to love
ourselves.
3. Loving ourselves does not mean that "we become selfcentered; we become arrogant and prideful; or we think that
we are better than others.
4. Loving ourselves means that instead of having a poor selfimage, we have a good self-image. We think positively about
ourselves because God created us, and He doesn't create
junk.
5. To love ourselves, we need to develop a healthy self-concept.
a. To develop a healthy self-concept, we should embrace the
value we have in God's sight.
b. Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk.
c. Believe in ourselves.
d. Focus more on Jesus and less on ourselves.
6. If the Lord's message has touched you this morning, please
respond to the invitation as we stand and sing.
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