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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION:
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
And now it’s (The Jock Show), for which this station assumes no responsibility whatsoever!
My plan for today’s show is to make it fun, exciting, and just plain frog-licking good.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." --1 Peter 4:8
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord. —
Leviticus 19:18
HEARTLIGHT VERSE & THOUGHT
Ill-gotten treasures are of no value, but righteousness delivers from death. — Proverbs 10:2
Thought: My mom regularly reminded my brothers and I as we grew up that sin is often a false shortcut to a good
thing. In a similar way, the Holy Spirit reminds us that falsely acquired riches are not the path to a rich and full life,
which can only be truly acquired through godliness.
Prayer: Generous and loving Father, please forgive me for getting caught up in envy and the culture of affluence.
Please use your Spirit to develop in me the patience and righteousness I need to resist the deceptions of Satan and to
pursue the fullness of life you long to bring me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
The Thoughts and Prayers for Today's Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to
phil@heartlight.org.
“BIRTH VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
Luke 6:28 NIV = bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
TODAY IS SUNDAY – JUNE 28, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 181 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is LONG LETTER DAY. *** My favorite long letter is "W" – in fact, I think that is THE longest letter in the
alphabet. (Actually, today is the day to stop and write that long letter to an old friend. And no, email does NOT count!
Try… think hard… it might come back to you… do you remember paper? The pen? These were ancient writing tools
used by your ancestors to communicate with each other.)
Today is NATIONAL GO BAREFOOT AROUND THE HOUSE DAY. *** We should expand that to “Go Barefoot
Around the Office Day” – don’t you think? But NOT in the break room – otherwise you end up with glazed doughnut
frosting between your toes from this morning’s staff meeting.
Today is SUPER MUPPET RAIDERS DAY. On this day in 1981 Americans spent over $56 million in one weekend on
movies, including "Superman II" with Christopher Reeve, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" with Harrison Ford, and "The Great
Muppet Caper" with Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. *** It’s strange that the most believable of the three is the one
starring a talking frog. (audio clip)
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
International Body Piercing Day
America’s Kids Day
Log Cabin Day
Descendants Day
COMING UP NEXT
MONDAY, JUNE 29
Please Take My Children To Work Day
TUESDAY, JUNE 30
Leap Second Time Adjustment Day
NOW (National Organization for Women) Day
WEDNESDAY, JULY 01
Canada Day
National GSA Employee Day
Second Half of The Year Day
U.S. Postage Stamp Day
Zip Code Day
THURSDAY, JULY 02
I Forgot Day
Made In The USA Day
World UFO Day
FRIDAY, JULY 03
Compliment Your Mirror Day
International Chicken Wing Day
International Plastic Bag Free Day
Stay Out Of The Sun Day
Superman Day
SATURDAY, JULY 04
Boom Box Parade Day
Independence Day (USA)
Independence From Meat Day
Hop a Park Day
Indivisible Day
International Day of Cooperatives
International Cherry Pit Spitting Day
SUNDAY, JULY 05
Bikini Day
ON THIS DAY
1613: At London's Globe Theatre, during a performance of "Henry the 8th" by William Shakespeare, a cannon set off
to mark the King's entrance accidentally set fire to the gallery roof.
1851: Eliza E. Hewitt was born. The American Presbyterian church worker wrote the hymns "More About Jesus,"
"When We All Get to Heaven," and "Sunshine in My Soul."
1975: At the Western Open in Illinois, golfer Lee Trevino was struck by lightning, but survived.
1981: Americans spent over $56 million in one weekend on movies, including "Superman II" with Christopher Reeve,
"Raiders of the Lost Ark" with Harrison Ford, and "The Great Muppet Caper" with Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.
***MARLAR: It’s strange that the most believable of the three is the one starring a talking frog.
1985: A survey by the U.S. Transportation Department indicated that 42 percent of drivers polled said that they drove
faster than the legal 55 miles per hour speed limit. ***MARLAR: The remaining 58 percent are bald-faced liars.
1988: An Israeli ostrich at the Kibbutz Ha’on farm laid history’s heaviest bird egg. It weighed 5.1 pounds.
1989: Nine members of the Ansett Social Climbers of Sydney, Australia, set a world record for high dining by eating at
22,205 feet at the top of Mt. Huascaran in Peru. They scaled the mountain carrying top hats, ball dresses, a 3-course
meal, chairs, and a dining table. Unfortunately, the wine froze. ***MARLAR: So they had fruit smoothies instead.
1995: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police signed a 5-year contract with the Walt Disney Company to produce official
Mountie souvenirs. ***MARLAR: Souvenirs of Nell and Snidely Whiplash sold separately. (video clip, Weird-Al meets
Dudley Do-Right)
1996: The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year-old men-only policy at the South Carolina military school.
1997: Mike Tyson was disqualified during a heavyweight title fight in Las Vegas for biting off a chunk of Evander
Holyfield's ear.
1999: 52-year-old Worth Delton shot a hole-in-one on the 125-yard par-3 seventh hole at Tipoli Country Club in
Milwaukee. He was participating in a charity outing for the Foundation for Fighting Blindness. Delton had been blind
since 1980. ***MARLAR: So how does he know they weren’t lying to him?
2000: Young Elian Gonzalez and his father returned to Cuba hours after the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear an
appeal from the 6-year-old's Miami relatives who tried to keep him in the U.S.
2003: Eager to block telemarketing calls, 735,000 Americans registered the first day with the Federal Trade
Commission's new National Do Not Call Registry.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
195: Irenaeus, bishop of Lyons (France) and one of the most important Christian writers of the second century, dies.
He argued that tradition is key in sustaining orthodoxy, and he was instrumental in raising the authority of the Roman
bishop. He was also the first to add the four Gospels to a list of apostolic writings, calling them "Scripture" with the Old
Testament. Many consider him the first theologian of the Christian church, since others were more apologists than
theologians.
1245: Innocent IV convenes the Council of Lyons to deal with the "five wounds of the Church:" corruption of the clergy
and faithful, the danger of the Saracens, the Greek Schism, the invasion of Hungary by the Tatars, and the rupture
between the church and Emperor Frederick II.
1491: Henry VIII, the "Defender of the faith" who broke with Rome when the pope would not grant him a divorce, is
born in Greenwich, England.
1577: Birth of Peter Paul Rubens, Flemish painter. His most famous canvasses include "Descent from the Cross" and
"Erection of the Cross."
1851: Birth of Eliza E. Hewitt, American Presbyterian church worker and devotional author. Four of her hymns still
endure: "Will There Be Any Stars." "More About Jesus I Would Know," "When We All Get to Heaven," and "Sunshine
in the Soul."
1890: Samuel Zwemer sets sail to the middle east to begin his ministry to Muslims. Zwemer penetrated Islam, but the
great work he began remains unfulfilled to this day.
1914: Birth of Lester Roloff, American evangelist. In his later years he founded the "City of Refuge,'' a work
specializing in reforming children who came from broken homes.
1962: The Lutheran Church in America (LCA) was formed with the merger of four Lutheran synods: the United
Lutheran Church in America, the Augustana Evangelical Lutheran Church, the American Evangelical Lutheran Church
and the Finnish Evangelical Lutheran Church.
1971: The U.S. Supreme Court declared that state underwriting of nonreligious instruction in parochial schools was
unconstitutional.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
actress (“Days Of Our Lives”, Stephanie Mills on “Archie Bunker’s Place”) Danielle Brisebois 46 (audio clip)
Actor (Billy on “Ally McBeal”) Gil Bellows, 48 (audio clip)
Actress (Fried Green Tomatoes) Mary Stuart Masterson 49
Actor (High Fidelity, Runaway Jury, Con Air, Better Off Dead) John Cusack, 49
actress (Susan Bunch on “Friends”) Jessica Hecht 50 (audio clip)
football's John Elway is 55
baseball's Don Baylor 66
Actress (Fried Green Tomatoes, Titanic, Misery) Kathy Bates, 67
Actor (Senator Kelly in the X-Men movies) Bruce Davison, 69
Producer/director/actor (Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The Producers, Spaceballs) Mel Brooks 89
BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1902 : Richard Rodgers
1936 : Cathy Carr
1943 : Bobby Harrison (Procol Harum)
1945 : David Knights (Procol Harum)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
How do lie detector tests work?
According to American courts they don't work well enough to be admitted as evidence unless each side in a case
agrees to their use. Yet they are used informally by law enforcement officers to further investigations and sometimes
by defense attorneys to "show" the public that a client under investigation or just suspicion is telling the truth.
Developed in the 1920s, the lie detector, or polygraph, monitors how a person physically reacts to questioning,
charting fluctuations in blood pressure, pulse rate and the like. But taking the test itself can make some people
nervous, skewing such measurements. Other people claim to be able to control such bodily responses in a way that
will fool the machine. The skill of the questioner is also a factor. All in all it's very imperfect. Believe me. I wouldn't lie to
you. Really.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It's just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you
could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at
ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!
Luke from for King and Country is training his kids young. He recorded a video while jamming with his two sons and
says it might very well be one of the greatest jam sessions ever caught on camera.
http://t.co/zYeHgfd8l1
Danny Gokey was recording vocals this week for his first Christmas record. But Danny says it was difficult to get in the
Christmas spirit in 90 degree weather.
Amy Grant is part of a new animated movie called All Creatures Big and Small. Grant announced this week that her
voice is part of the free movie. It's scheduled for release later this month. Grant says the animated kids movie features
the untold story of Noah's ark. She says: one ark, 50,000 animals. What could go wrong?
http://t.co/LPtcMC69SK
Aaron Shust is celebrating a milestone this week. His wife Sarah announced on Instagram that their son Michael can
now speak. Michael has downs syndrome and has been officially stamped as non-verbal for the last 2 and a half
years. Sarah says they had their first conversation on Monday.
For the first time in about a month, Jamie Grace was able to sleep in her own bed. And it sounds like she was
enjoying a little break from the road. She tweeted that, when she was tired of being lazy, she got up, went downstairs,
and laid on the couch.
Comedian and Gaither Vocal Band member Mark Lowry is giving you the chance to own his ride. He announced this
week that his RV, affectionately call The Holy Roller, is now for sale.
http://t.co/oc8mcyStOG
Sidewalk Prophets guitarist Ben McDonald shared a picture of their new kitten recently and even let those who follow
him on social media pick the cat’s name. After a poll Sunday evening fans chose the name Nova.
The band We As Human was dealing with an ailing bus as they struggled to make it to the Creation Festival. Members
of the band say their A/C Compressor locked up, caught fire, and burned some wires and the belt, but the good news
is they are all okay. The members of We As Human tweeted that they were trying to get a tow and figure out how to
make it to festival.
Jamie Grace announced plans to travel more internationally earlier this year. Now she is announcing the first event in
fulfillment of that announcement. Jamie says she will be in Trinidad this week. Jamie added: I can't say when but I will
be coming to other countries as soon as I can!
SanctusReal has found a unique way to use social media to expand their outreach. Front man Matt Hammitt
announced over the weekend that band members would be broadcasting the concert live over the social media site
Periscope. The site allows the broadcast of live video but, rather than just having one online stream, Matt said each of
the members of SanctusReal would be broadcasting. That allowed followers to watch the concert through the eyes of
each member of the band.
http://t.co/4VutI8ihW4
WEIRD & WACKY
Ex-homeless man with golden voice: I'm running for president photo
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — A once-homeless Ohio man whose smooth radio voice made him an Internet sensation
says he's running for president as an independent. Ted Williams was propelled into the spotlight in 2011 after he
appeared in a video by The Columbus Dispatch panhandling on a highway ramp...
Beekeepers set out to remove a million bees from NY home
WALLKILL, N.Y. (AP) — Beekeepers have quite the task ahead of them as they remove an estimated 1 million honey
bees that have taken up residence at a New York home. HASH(0x13defb0) The Orange County family living there
discovered the bees while they were clearing trees. They were preparing to...
New rainbow crosswalks support Philadelphia's LGBT community photo
PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Rainbow-colored crosswalks have been painted in a gay neighborhood of Philadelphia known
as the Gayborhood. HASH(0xd2e680) The crosswalks appeared Thursday morning. Backers say they were planned
for some time. Philly Pride Presents senior adviser Chuck Volz says the...
Iowa man scratches off 2 winners in 1 day: $100,000 and $930
DUBUQUE, Iowa (AP) — A 75-year-old Dubuque man has scratched off two winning tickets in one day. One was
worth $100,000, the other $930. HASH(0x13e1560) He said Wednesday that he intends to "buy my real estate up at
the cemetery and a headstone," and that he is thinking about buying a new...
Whirlpool forms near spillway on Texas-Oklahoma border
DENISON, Texas (AP) — Water draining into the spillway on a lake along the Texas-Oklahoma border has formed a
whirlpool. The whirlpool formed on Lake Texoma near the Denison Dam spillway after heavy rains raised the lake to
flood level. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Tulsa District manages...
Massachusetts State trooper meets colleague who saved him
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. (AP) — A veteran Massachusetts State Police trooper and the baby boy whose life he saved
more than three decades ago were reunited this week, and through a strange twist of fate, that boy is now a fellow
trooper. Al Balestra, 63, met and shook hands Tuesday with 32-year-old...
Stench from stinky fridge sends 11 to hospital
LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — A smelly refrigerator has prompted the decontamination of nearly a dozen people at the
University of Kentucky. Multiple news sources report that 11 people were taken to the hospital on Wednesday after
being exposed to chemicals inside the Dimock Animal Pathology building...
Firefighter accused of reporting fake fire to earn paycheck
SOUTH AMHERST, Ohio (AP) — Authorities say an Ohio auxiliary firefighter reported a fake fire so he could head to
the scene and earn a paycheck, but a different department was dispatched instead and he is now facing charges.
Twenty-seven-year old Dean Evans, of Lorain, is charged with...
Suit: Family flees home after getting letters from 'Watcher' photo
ELIZABETH, N.J. (AP) — A couple who says they were scared away from their new $1.4 million home because of
creepy letters from a stalker has sued the sellers for not telling them about a person with a "mentally disturbed fixation"
on the house. Derek and Maria Broaddus said the former owners...
News crew preparing for segment saves overdose victim's life
WASHINGTON, Pa. (AP) — Police are crediting a Pittsburgh TV news crew with saving the life of an overdose victim
by calling 911 and performing CPR on him before emergency responders could arrive. HASH(0x13ec810) Clark
performed CPR while Sapida called 911. Clark says he was thinking, "OK, if...
Wacky fossil worm reveals secret: Which end is which? photo
NEW YORK (AP) — A bizarre-looking fossil worm that's been a puzzle for scientists has given up a secret:
Researchers now know which end is which. The giveaway was finding evidence of eyes and teeth in the black traces
of carbon the creature left behind in ancient rock. The worm, called...
HEALTH & FITNESS
Coverage worries persist amid relief over health care ruling photo
CHICAGO (AP) — Throughout the country, relief was the dominant emotion among consumers who get help from the
government to lower their health insurance costs following Thursday's Supreme Court ruling upholding the subsidies
underpinning President Barack Obama's health care overhaul. Many...
With court defeat, GOP health law effort now aimed at '16 photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court's resounding rejection of a conservative attempt to gut President Barack
Obama's health care overhaul won't stop Republicans from attacking the law they detest. But now, their efforts will be
chiefly about teeing up the issue for the 2016 presidential and...
Obama and Roberts legacies intertwined in health care law photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The chief justice who once mangled President Barack Obama's oath of office has once again
helped rescue the president's signature achievement, his health care law. After an awkward first encounter, these two
Harvard Law graduates who rose to high positions of power from...
Other legal challenges to health overhaul remain
WASHINGTON (AP) — If you thought the legal fight over the health care overhaul was finally over, think again. At
least four issues related to the Affordable Care Act still are being sorted out in the courts, although none seems to
pose the same threat to the law as the challenge to nationwide...
Obama health care law survives second Supreme Court fight photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court sent a clear message Thursday that President Barack Obama's health
care overhaul is here to stay, rejecting a major challenge that would have imperiled the landmark law and health
insurance for millions of Americans. Whether you call it the Affordable Care...
Excerpts from the Supreme Court's health care ruling photo
Excerpts from the majority opinion of Chief Justice John Roberts and a dissent written by Justice Antonin Scalia in the
Supreme Court's 6-3 ruling Thursday that upheld the nationwide tax subsidies underpinning President Barack
Obama's health care overhaul: ___ ROBERTS "In a democracy, the power to...
Hospital stocks leap after Supreme Court backs overhaul
Investors in hospital stocks rejoiced Thursday after the Supreme Court upheld a key portion of President Barack
Obama's health care overhaul and eliminated the prospect of a sudden influx of uninsured patients seeking care.
Shares of big hospital operators like HCA Holdings Inc. and Tenet...
California vaccine bill clears major legislative hurdle photo
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — California's Assembly on Thursday approved a hotly contested bill requiring that nearly
all public schoolchildren be vaccinated, clearing one of its last major legislative obstacles before the measure heads to
the desk of Gov. Jerry Brown. The bill aims to increase...
Judge blocks Kansas' ban on 2nd-trimester abortion procedure photo
TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — A judge on Thursday blocked Kansas' first-in-the-nation ban on an abortion procedure that
opponents describe as dismembering a fetus, concluding that the law would likely present too big of an obstacle for
women seeking to end their pregnancies. Shawnee County District...
Republicans push back against proposed dietary guidelines photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Congressional Republicans are pushing back against proposed dietary guidelines that urge
Americans to consider the environment when deciding what foods to eat. House and Senate spending bills say the
guidelines must focus only on nutrition and diet. That's a clear effort to...
Panel gives weak endorsement of new meningitis shots photo
NEW YORK (AP) — A federal panel gave a weak endorsement Wednesday to two expensive meningitis shots,
declining to recommend that all teens get the vaccine and leaving the decision to parents and doctors. At a meeting in
Atlanta, the panel approved a half-measure that says older teens and...
NEWS KICKERS
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
WONDER WOMAN
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Semiconductors”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE... Rich Praytor, “Fat Dad Spankings”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When
last we left the jungle, Millard saw some horses pass by and couldn’t help but admire their shoes. He even proclaimed
his desire for a pair of those beautiful horseshoes out loud – and it was at that moment that a small badger appeared
and told Millard that he could be of assistance…
CLOSE: Well, it looks like Gruffy may end up with a new pair of shoes now as well! What a great salesman that
badger is! Come to think of it, I could use a new pair of shoes myself. Join us next time, As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JUNE 27/28, 2015
OPEN: And now FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring
inspirational inspiration in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!
CLOSE: My… what a coincidence, indeed! I can understand Millard admiring the horses’ shoes – but wanting some
for himself? Can you imagine horseshoes – on a MONKEY? Tune in next time, As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use
of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright
law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
Grand theft… rowboat?
In Bridgewater, Nova Scotia, Canada, three teenagers stole a boat and took it for a little joy ride. After beaching the
craft, they decided to set it afire. Which would have been OK, except for one little thing. The teens didn't realize they
had come ashore on an island. An uninhabited island with no other way to get off it, except for the now burned-out
boat. They were rescued a short time later, and then arrested.
TOP TEN
TOP TEN THINGS SPIDER-MAN DOES ON HIS DAYS OFF (audio clip)
10. Attends arachnophobia support groups.
9. Peeping Peter - it's easier to see into 32nd story windows when you can climb walls
8. Sits at home watching "Charlotte's Web" for the 800th time
7. Catches flies. Do you know how many flies such an active and large spider needs!?!
6. Tries to find a deodorant that will keep him cool and unsweaty in that total-body suit
5. By day: a nerdy high school student with spider like abilities. By night: a nerdy high school student with spider like
abilities watching tv
4. Can't let that extra web go to waste -- Peter Parker has the best-flossed teeth in the country.
3. Make outfits for Cher, Madonna, and Brittney Spears
2. Sells homemade hammocks on ebay.
1. Refills web cartridges and writes new witty banter for battles with super-villains
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
Here's your one-minute bank robbing lesson for the day. When plotting your heist, knowing the branch hours
is always helpful.
FILE #1: Staff at the Podravska Bank in Zagreb, Croatia, told police they were getting ready to go home when they
heard the doors rattling and saw a masked man holding a gun trying to get in. Staff said even though he was wearing a
mask they could tell from his movements that he was very confused to find the bank wasn't open. He left emptyhanded.
FILE #2: In Germany, a young thug got the surprise of his life when he tried to hold up the wrong little old man. Turned
out this little old man was 88-year-old former boxing champion Gerhard Brinkmann who knocked out the young punk
cold! Gerhard told the cops, "I was visiting a friend's grave when a young, long-haired man came up to me and
demanded I hand over my money. I told him to come closer if he wanted it and as he did I landed a full-force right hook
on his chin!" Gerhard was the German lightweight boxing champion of 1936. The kid remained unconscious while
Gerhard called police, but came to and ran before they got to the scene. Gerhard said, "I can't run like I used to but I
can still put up a good fight."
FILE #3: A Milwaukee, Wisconsin teenager was taken into custody for stealing a snow blower! It seems that the 18year-old walked into Ben Chomicki’s garage, stole a snow blower and made no attempt to keep it a secret. You see,
there were tracks leading from the garage, down the sidewalk, across the street, through an alley way, across another
street, through a playground, and eventually leading them to the machine that was hid underneath a porch some 7
blocks away. Inside the home itself - the 18-year-old who is being charged with the crime.
STRANGE LAW: In Los Angeles, CA, it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
If you’re reporting a robber to the police, make sure your mind is free from the influence of illegal drugs first!
A man who phoned police saying he'd been robbed of $2,250 was arrested after police discovered he had actually
been duped while trying to purchase drugs. August ''Gus'' T. Williams allegedly called police from his cell phone to
report that he was on the Interstate 10 Bridge - following a man who had just robbed him. Police stopped Williams and
the man he identified as the robber, Allen L. Joseph Jr. Williams told police he met Joseph at a motel to buy a car
stereo but Joseph fled with his money. In Joseph's version, Williams was trying to buy crack cocaine. Rather than
crack, Joseph said he gave Williams a pack of playing cards wrapped in duct tape, smeared in mustard and coated
with a layer of cellophane. Williams was booked with criminal mischief for making false statements to investigators and
Joseph was booked with driving with a suspended license and felony theft, police said.
PHONER PHUN
TRAFFIC TICKET
Ever heard of getting a speeding ticket from a car rental place? It might happen to you in the future!
A Connecticut man is suing a van rental company after they tracked his every move using global positioning
technology. James Turner is taking Acme Car Rental to court after they charged him for three driving offenses they
observed through the GPS system via satellite. He says he didn't see a clause in the contract explaining there would
be a $106 fine every time he went over the speed limit. They even charged the fine to his credit card without telling
him... BEFORE he returned the car! Although he knew the GPS system was included on the car when he rented it, he
now says that the system - which allowed Acme to calculate the van's speed as well as its location - is intrusive. Acme
says Turner should have read the small print - and they insist the monitoring system is necessary to allow them to find
vehicles that are not returned. (audio clip)
PHONE POLL: Has this happened to anyone? Would you sue if you found out that your car rental place did this to
you? Is this reason to not have a vehicle with GPS technology - knowing that Big Brother may be watching? What are
your thoughts on all of this?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: What king pouted in his bed because he could not buy someone's vineyard?
ANSWER: Ahab (1 Kings 21:2-4)
QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE
QUESTION: Police in a Vancouver suburb were on the lookout for a man wanted for allegedly stealing 10 pairs
of pants. What makes this story ironic?
ANSWER: The man had no legs. (The wheelchair-bound man was one of two suspects who witnesses said fled a
Gap Inc store in a West Vancouver shopping mall two days before Christmas, carrying trousers and jackets worth
$1,600. The men escaped from the crowded mall in a car that had previously been reported stolen.)
QUESTION: When you buy a package of these at the grocery store, they were most likely made in Houston,
Texas.
ANSWER: Egg rolls
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over
from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
1. Arkansas is the only US State that begins with "a" but does not end with "a". (True. All the other States that begin
with "a", Arizona, Alabama and Alaska, also end with "a".)
2. Vietnamese currency consists only of coins, no paper. (False - it's all paper money; no coins.)
3. Some of Mozart's symphonies were performed in Kentucky before they were performed in Paris, France. (False but it's true for Beethoven.)
4. Mr. Spock's (of Star Trek) blood type was T-Negative. (True)
5. The A&W of root beer fame stands for "Abundantly Wet". (False - it stands for Allen and Wright.)
6. Bingo is the name of the dog on the Cracker Jack box. (True)
7. The Ganges River in India boasts the only genuine, natural fresh-water sharks in the entire world. (True)
8. Brooklyn is the Dutch name for "crooked brook". (False - "broken valley")
9. Venetian blinds were invented in Japan. (True)
10. In the 1983 film "JAWS 3D" when the shark blows up, some of the shark guts were actually stuffed ET dolls.
(True)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been
removed!
JESSICA SIMPSON LOVES BEING _______ (FAT)
Jessica Simpson gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy. But after giving birth to her daughter, Simpson says she
wants to stay fat.
She gave birth to her daughter Maxwell, and was spotted, many times, hard at work trying to get her body back to her
pre-pregnancy weight. But now Simpson says she’s giving up on dieting. ”I actually love being fat. I love my heavy
body. I don’t see why I should kill myself to lose weight. You either love me or you don’t. Haters don’t bother me.”
The 31-year-old new mom said she loves her “mom jeans” and has no desire to fit back into her old skin-tight jeans.
”It’s a much better life being fat. There’s no pressure, no expectations on you. Fat is beautiful!”
Fellow actors have been commenting that Simpson was “12 months’ pregnant” and “appeared to have let herself go”.
Some actors even called the Hollywood Fat Police on the star. But Simpson reportedly told WWN, “I don’t care what
they say, I’d rather be fat than stupid. Haters are dumb, and fatters are smart.”
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE
EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
JOKE #1
A man came into a legal office for advice about a debt he owed. The lawyer told the client that technically he could get
out of the obligation. "But morally," the lawyer continued, "you have a responsibility. As legal counsel, my
recommendation is that you satisfy the debt."
The client rose and walked toward the door.
"Sir, there's a $25 fee for my advice," the lawyer reminded him.
With a shake of his head, the man replied, "I'm not taking your advice."
JOKE #2
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to
deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news.
The donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, at least give me the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny replied, "I'm going to raffle him off."
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny replied, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars each and made a profit of $898.00."
"Didn't anyone complain?" asked the farmer.
Kenny answered, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
JOKE #3
Concerned about fitness in her middle 40s, Lisa enrolled in an aerobics class. To her dismay she walked into a room
filled with much younger women and decided to combat her nervousness with humor. "I'm here to do my postnatal
exercises," Lisa told the instructor.
The instructor gave her an appraising look. "How old is your baby?" "Twenty-six," she replied.
USELESS FACTS
It seems not everyone in the world likes McDonald's as much as we do. In a recent demonstration against the opening
of a Mickey D's in the town of Sete, France, about 500 protestors gathered and used a homemade catapult to bombard
the new restaurant with a unique form of ammunition. The ammunition was fresh catches of the area's renowned
delicacy -- octopus. ***MARLAR: New on the menu - McSquid Nuggets!
A man in Zhuhai City, China, "expressed his dissatisfaction with reality" by marrying a life-size foam cutout of himself
in a wedding gown. ***MARLAR: Later it was discovered that the only women who'd marry him actually looked like
him in a dress.
FEATURED FUNNIES
CITIBANK JOKE
A lady died in January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit
card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere
around $60.00.
A FAMILY MEMBER PLACED A CALL TO CITIBANK:
o Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
o Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
o Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
o Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
o Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
o Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
o Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
o Citibank: "Excuse me?"
o Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
o Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
SUPERVISOR GETS ON THE PHONE:
o Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
o Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
o Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
o Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
o Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
o Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
o Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
AFTER THEY GET THE FAX:
o Citibank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
o Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will
care."
o Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
o Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
o Citibank: "That might help."
o Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
o Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
o Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Looks like Americans have yet another right you may not be aware of -- the legal right to web surf for personal
use at work!
At least that's the ruling of administrative law judge John Spooner of a New York City court who said the city's school
system had gone too far by firing Toquir Choudhri for personal web surfing. Judge Spooner declared that city workers
have a "right" to surf the Internet for personal use while at work. Ironically, while Mr. Choudhri was expecting
reinstatement after the ruling, two weeks later Chancellor Joel Klein fired him anyway, citing other poor work habits
beyond his Web-surfing. Even more ironic, Mr. Choudhri was unavailable for comment because it was believed he was
out of the U.S. visiting another country of whose tourist Web sites he had been looking at while at work.
INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION
THE WORLD’S GREATEST STAND-UP COMEDIAN
by Rabbi Joan S. Friedman
My bubbe, may she rest in peace, was one sharp lady. If she’d been born in a different time and place, she could have
been president of the United States-or the world’s greatest stand-up comedian.
Bubbe picked up the telephone one day to call my aunt. It was not a long-distance call, just an ordinary call from
Chelsea to Wakefield, but something happened. This was back when Nixon had nominated Henry Kissinger to be his
secretary of state, and the U.S. Senate was holding confirmation hearings. Bubbe’s call got connected into somebody
else’s line. Two men were having a conversation about Kissinger: Yes, he was from Germany, but still, he was a Jew,
and you know those Jews, and wasn’t it awful that we were going to have a Jew for Secretary of State?
“So vat’s wrong vit det?” said Bubbe into the telephone.
“WHO IS THIS?”
“Dis is Kissinger’s mother!” And she hung up.
I always wonder what those guys must have thought.
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
GRATITUDE
READ: Colossians 3:12-17
Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through Him. —Colossians 3:17
Among the first words many of us were taught to say are please and thank you. No one gets quite as excited as a
parent or grandparent when a toddler first utters those words and makes the connection between asking politely and
receiving gratefully.
But I suspect that as we grow older we become more adept at saying please than thank you, especially with our
heavenly Father. We focus more on pressing needs than on previous provisions; we petition more than we praise. And
while God invites us to come to Him with all our needs, He also urges us to make gratitude a habit.
In Colossians 3:15, Paul instructed every follower of Jesus Christ to “let the peace of God rule in your hearts.” Then
three times he reminded us to remain grateful to God: “be thankful” (v.15); sing with gratitude to the Lord (v.16); “do all
in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (v.17).
Dr. Michael Avery, president of God’s Bible School in Cincinnati, Ohio, has said: “Very few things honor and glorify
God more than the sweet fragrance of a thankful soul. It expels gloom and ushers in sweet peace and blessed hope.
Gratitude encourages graciousness.”
It’s good to give thanks to God. —David C. McCasland
We thank You, Lord, for blessings
You give us on our way;
May we for these be grateful,
And praise You every day. —Roworth
Gratitude should be a continuous attitude, not just an occasional incident.
LEFTOVERS
TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL FAMILY VACATIONS…
Some families’ idea of a successful vacation is when everyone is still speaking to each other when they pull into the
driveway. Or maybe it’s when Dad only got lost twice and Mom didn’t yell at him.
In my own experience, those would be big scores on the report card of vacations. But I’d like to offer some suggestions
for going even beyond these traditional markers of success.
Family vacations come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from camping to cruising, hiking to hoolaing. Sometimes, the
dynamic is as simple as you, your spouse and that new baby or as complicated as you, your spouse, your kids, their
spouses, their kids, your parents and the dogs. (My head hurts just thinking about that scenario)
Regardless of the configuration, here are a few things that I’ve found to keep things on the right track and increase the
odds that everyone has had a rippin’ good time.
 KISS – yes it still stands for “Keep it Simple, …” (we don’t use that word at our house). People go on vacation
to relax and get away from the craziness and complexity of life. Vacation should be a slower, simpler way of
life for a few days. Type A’s need to check their drive at the door.
 Make sure everyone (including Mom) gets some “me” time. If it’s just you, your spouse and the kids,
schedule at least a morning or afternoon when each of you can do your own thing and not be responsible for
anyone else for a few hours.
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Give everyone their space, especially in the morning. You may have worked out the morning person vs.
night owl thing in your own marriage, but a week isn’t long enough to come to an agreeable arrangement with
everyone else on the trip.
Strike a good balance between free time and planned group activities. Teenagers are already orbiting in
another universe and won’t appreciate being summoned back to earth too often. Individual families should be
encouraged to plan their own outings at least once or twice during the trip.
Planned group activities should be opt in only. If they require an outlay of money that is forfeitable if
canceled, make sure everyone pays their own deposit. The last thing you want to be is the banker.
As far as meals go, flexibility and individual responsibility are key. A good plan is for all those capable to
be on their own for breakfast and lunch and then encourage everyone to gather for dinner together.
If you have to have a clutter free environment to be happy, you’d better change your definition of
happiness. People make clutter, eventually it all gets sorted out and taken home and in the meantime, you
have the choice to ignore the mess and have fun with the mess makers.
If you tend to be a high-controller (yes, admit it), you’re going to have to take your hands off the reins
and let things evolve. The only person you need to worry about is yourself. I can guarantee things won’t go
exactly the way you’d like them to but that’s life, especially on vacation.
As our own kids got older, I took a survey each year and asked what they enjoyed about our family
vacations, how they would like to change things for the next year, and did they have any vacation locations or
activities that they’d like to suggest.
Now that all of our children are adults and mostly married, I continue to ask if all the trouble and expense
of gathering together for a week is still worth it to them. Thankfully, the answer is a resounding yes from
everyone and I think that’s in part due to the above suggestions being observed.
Enjoy the moment. Make a point to have a positive discussion with each person, completely focused on
them. Affirm them with your words, affection and actions.
If you’re the mom or grandmom who’s orchestrated this family vacation, don’t plan on getting much
rest. You’ll probably need a vacation after this vacation is over.
LIFE... LIVE IT
Your brain might actually be hard-wired to recognize celebrities!
Neuroscientists from Caltech and UCLA discovered that people may be genetically hard-wired to recognize celebrities.
While studying an epileptic's brain, they found one neuron that only fired when the subject saw a photo of Jennifer
Aniston. It didn't fire for Julia Roberts, or even for a photo of Aniston with Brad Pitt: only for Aniston alone. They
jokingly named it "the Jennifer Aniston brain cell." In another subject, they located a neuron that only fired when he
saw a photo of Halle Berry. They say this may explain how paparazzi can spot stars in crowds even when they're
hiding behind sunglasses and hats. ***MARLAR: In other words, you only need one brain cell to recognize a celebrity.
No wonder fan magazines are so one-dimensional.
JUST FOR FUN
AMEN, PASTOR
What' the longest time your pastor has preached? One hour? Two hours? A Pastor in England is preparing to
preach for a straight 36 hours! Why? Because he wants an office!
A church in England wants its pastor to preach the longest sermon. The Reverend Chris Sterry is aiming to enter the
Guinness Book of records by preaching for a minimum of 36 hours. If he is successful, he hopes to earn money
towards the cost of keeping an office. The Guinness Book of Records may also consider the sermon to be long
enough to warrant the creation of a new section in its longest speech category. Rev Sterry hopes to start his attempt to
break the record for unscripted speech, which is currently 27 hours, at Whalley parish church at 6.30am on June 29.
***MARLAR: So the church won't give enough money for him to have an office now - what makes him think they'll be
any more giving being forced to sit and listen to a 36 hour sermon?
FUN LIST
THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND ABOUT TEENAGERS
Are you a parent of a teen? Grandparent of a teen? Well there are a few things to keep in mind when it comes
to dealing with teens – I’ll give you a short list, coming up.
o Regardless of what they say, no one really stays out studying till midnight.
o Just so you don't have to ask -- Yes, that is her boyfriend. Yes, that was an earring in his nose. Yes, his
parents do know about it.
o
o
o
If you decide to ground your teenager from using the phone, remember you now need to specify whether you
mean "cell" phone or "regular" phone.
Any attempt to use slang to appear “hip” to your teenager is probably going to backfire, so don't even try it. In
fact, using terms such as “hip” are guaranteed to make you “unhip”.
You know that line, "If all of your friends jumped off of a bridge...?" That's considered an extreme sport now,
so don't give them ideas.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF...
TOP SIX RESUME BLUNDERS
Looking to land that dream job in a tough economy? You'll need every edge. Here are six serious resume blunders to
look out for from CareerBuilder.com:
Forgetting the employer. Although the resume is about you, it's not for you. After all, if you were the intended
audience, you wouldn't bother sending it out. The resume is meant to show prospective employers why you're the
perfect match for the job. They want to see the skills, experience and qualifications mentioned in their job postings. If
you have skills that don't line up exactly with the position but you know are transferrable, make that clear in the
resume.
Not using keywords. Keywords, like career summaries, are signs of the time. Today, many employers use software
to scan submitted resumes for keywords that suggest an applicant is a good match for the job. Although you won't
know which exact words the software is looking for, a job posting can give you a good idea. Incorporate phrases and
terms from the posting, and see what words reappear in several industry ads. Concrete terms such as "infrastructure
development" and "strategic planning" will fare better than generic phrases like "hard worker" and "team player."
Using an objective instead of a career summary. An advantage of updating your resume regularly is that you can
not only update your skills and accomplishments but also its format. For example, just five or 10 years ago most
resumes included an objective at the top. These days, the career summary has taken its place. Like an objective, the
summary should give the employer an idea of who you are, except it allows you to focus more on your experience than
on your goals. You can briefly mention your career highlights, including past roles and your strongest skills.
Not proofreading. Typos and grammatical errors on a resume are the textual equivalent of showing up at an interview
chewing gum and wearing tennis shoes. A resume full of mistakes suggests you care neither about the quality of your
work nor the impression it makes. An employer wants someone who produces exemplary work and will be an excellent
representative of the company.
Lying. Embellishing is a common practice that rarely impresses hiring mangers because they've seen it all. They know
"childcare leadership executive" means "baby-sitter." Outright lies, however, have no place on a resume. For one
thing, it's not hard to verify any information you put down, so you could get caught at any point between submitting
your resume and getting a job offer. Plus, it's a small world, and the truth has a way of coming out when business
associates bump into one another at conferences. If your boss mentions your name to your supposed former
supervisor only to be told you never worked there, you could get fired.
Not keeping up appearances. Before an employer even reads your resume, he or she forms an impression based on
how it looks. It's a snap judgment that can't be avoided – after all, don't you immediately zone out when you receive an
e-mail that's one huge block of text? Make your resume visually appealing by using bulleted lists, plenty of white space
and subheadings. Also, avoid fonts that are full of distracting swirls and colors. It doesn't matter how well-written your
resume is if no one wants to read it.
TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!
(Mondays Only)
THE WAY WE WORK
(Wednesdays only; The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
(None On The Weekends)
Is the sunscreen you use really protecting your skin? Dermatologists say that, to shield your face and body adequately
when you're outdoors, you need a full ounce of sunscreen. And according to a Huffington Post article, you need to
reapply that amount every two hours if you are staying dry and more often if you're getting wet. They say most waterresistant sunscreens are rated for only 40 to 80 minutes
http://huff.to/1Lj4DLM
130 years ago the statue of liberty arrived in New York Harbor. In celebration, Time Magazine has released a series of
pictures this month, giving views of the statue before it was assembled at its current location. Check out the pictures
and read more about the construction and delivery of this national icon…
http://ti.me/1BB4zqK
Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson announced in a letter over the weekend that his organization will donate
$100,000 in honor of the victims of the Charleston, South Carolina, shooting on Wednesday. According to the
Huffington Post, Richardson said that $10,000 should go to each of the families of the nine victims. The final $10,000
is to go to the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, the site of the shooting, "as a memorial honoring the
victims."
http://huff.to/1H5OL1s
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Tomorrow our guest will be actress Brooke Shields, who will discuss her autobiography entitled, They're Not Heavy,
They're Just My Eyebrows.
I just got my first bout of carsickness - and I'm not even near my car. I just opened up the bill for my auto insurance.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more
in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
JUNE 26, 2015…
Max---Bring handkerchief to theater. This is the true story of Max, a military dog whose army handler was killed in
action. Can Max adjust to civilian life? Do dogs in service also suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome? The
cast includes Thomas Haden Church and Lauren Graham. “Max” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for military theme and
animal fans.
Ted 2---Most teddy bears are soft and cuddly, but this “Ted” is cuddly and foul-mouthed and made quite an impression
on audiences. Hence, a sequel. Ted is still with his buddy, Mark Wahlberg, but Ted wants to have a baby with his wife
(Amanda Seyfreid) and in order to do this must be declared a real person. Hmm. This is a Seth MacFarlane film.
Morgan Freeman is also in the cast. I think people looked strangely at their teddy bears for months after seeing the
first “Ted.” This film, “Ted 2” is rated R, so be aware of that. No rating.
What Happened Miss Simone? (documentary)---Nina Simone was a class act singer and this documentary shows
her career in music and in civil rights The film is directed by Liz Garbus. “What Happened Miss Simons?” is rated PG
13. Rating of 3 for fans.
Big Game---Samuel L. Jackson is the president of the United States and when his plane is shot down in the northern
wilderness, what can he do to survive? No drones available? He is helped by a boy (Onni Tommila) out hunting. What
an idea for a plot. “Big Game” is rated PG 13. No rating.
JULY 01, 2016…
Terminator Genisys is a continuation of the “Terminator” films and also starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. What else is
new? Oh, yes, and this film runs against Channing Tatum in the second “Magic Mike" movie.
Magic Mike XXL is a sequel to the first “Magic Mike” and will run against Schwarzenegger’s robot. “Mike” stars
Channing Tatum.
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WARNING: Don't believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless
you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The
opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment,
OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid
you may think those opinions are. So there - nyah!)
Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with
permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via
his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.