MY EMOTIONAL JOURNEY THROUGH CANCER
By Mary Llewellyn MNCP
This article looks purely at my emotional journey and the help and support I received
through other people. It explains the use of a number of therapies. These include
EFT & SET (Emotional Freedom Technique & Simple Energy Techniques), BSFF
(Be Set Free Fast), TAT (Tapas Accupressure Technique) Homeopathy, The
Journey and Hypnotherapy. More details of all of these therapies are described at
the end under the reference and resource section. I also received and thoroughly
enjoyed reflexology, hypnotherapy, Reiki and massage.
Many of these therapies were received through various practitioners and especially
my partner Tam who was a continual support and love for me. I am also
tremendously grateful to Dr Kate James who provided a wonderful support system at
all levels of my being physically, emotionally and spiritually. Dr. Birinder was there
for me even before I received my surgery and took me through “The Journey” with
profound and lasting results as well as carrying out Bio Resonance Testing. My
wonderful family are a continual source of inspiration, joy, laughter and love to me.
My friends and colleagues have been a consistent source of support for me as well.
Many of them have sent Reiki, surrogate tapping, beautiful uplifting emails as well as
flowers and cards. I still read their emails and cards which were funny, joyful, very
loving and truly inspiration. I feel and have felt throughout my journey truly blessed.
It has been mostly exciting, sometimes scary and divinely supportive. Thank you so
much your words, pictures and distance healing and care it have been a wonderful
support to me.
BEGINNING AT THE BEGINNING
I have decided to map out my emotional journey from the beginning when I first
noticed what appeared to be a lump in my left breast right up to the end of my
radiotherapy treatment. This will provide the peaks and troughs which were
navigated along the way as well as more details about how I was helped by others
and the self help methods which opened up to me.
8th October 2009 – Discovering a lump & visit to local GP - Dr Kumari.
I woke up really early this October morning and for some unexplained reason I
decided to check my breasts. When I think about it I generally do this in the shower
when I’m soaping myself because the skin seems smoother and easier to check then.
To my surprise I noticed a harder section just under my left nipple that just didn’t
seem quite right to me. This difference made me check my other breast in
comparison and they seemed different although marginally so. I felt slightly anxious
and right away I decided to do some Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT see
reference section for details) on all the slightly anxious thoughts which were
surfacing.
I noticed whilst I was doing this self help technique that it calmed me so that I was
able to think what I needed to do more clearly. Soon after this, when my husband
woke up I asked him to check my left breast to see if he noticed anything too. He
said he thought there was something there and probably it needed to be checked so
that I wouldn’t worry if it was all ok. I already knew that I wanted to ring the doctor
although I had reservations about this. That morning I rang the surgery and was
given an immediate appointment even though I didn’t say anything to the receptionist
about why I was wanting the appointment. This was another surprise because
usually they don’t just give out appointments like that.
It seemed to me that I was on some sort of path that I was meant to be on because
things were happening smoothly. This feeling gave me confidence and reassurance
about taking responsibility for me health. I looked up various sites on the internet
such a www.Mercola.com because I remembered that Dr Mercola had
recommended the use of thermal imaging rather than a mammogram. However on
closer investigation I found very little positive help about this in the UK even though
we belong to BUPA and could have used this private care if it was necessary. I now
felt more determined to find out if I required further investigations. Throughout the
day I was doing a shortened version of EFT which was developed in Australia by
Steve Wells & David Lake which is called Simple Energy Technique (SET this comes
from a combination of EFT and BSFF points, details are in the reference section)
One of the great advantages of SET is that it can be done anytime, any place and
anywhere without anyone knowing. In addition to this I also find just gently
stimulating the Karate Chop point and the Gamut point at the same time is also very
easy and comforting. Whilst doing both of these shortened accupoint processes
such as SET or the KC & Gamut points together I don’t say anything - I am just with
whatever I feel or think.
My appointment with my local GP was not until 11.20 so I decided to do more
focused EFT tapping on whatever was coming up for me. I was surprised by how
emotional I felt, a lot of it was to do with grief and loss at leaving my family my Mum
& Dad (now passed on) and especially a brother and sister still in the religious sect
that I had been born into. I knew a lot about this old stuff but what I was feeling was
very different from the work I had already done. I found I was seeing things more
clearly more honestly, I think. During the morning I also did Tapas Acupressure
Technique TAT (see reference section for more information). The fact that Tapas
Fleming herself had been diagnosed with breast cancer in early 2000, at the same
time as we were in California and Mexico with her has kept her experiences at the
forefront of my mind. At the time that she was diagnosed I remember that her
boyfriend Bruce had said to her something like, “Tapas think of the opportunities you
will experience going through this for yourself and this will also help you to help
many people with cancer”.
I have over the years worked with many clients when they received their diagnosis
and later through their treatment and I always knew that I couldn’t possibly know how
they felt and now here I was at this possible point in time. A similar thought came to
my mind about Tapas and her boyfriend working though what she was going through
together. After her treatment Tapas made a wonderful DVD on working with cancer
which I had thankfully watched many times. The memory of her DVD was very
affirming and helpful. Details are of this DVD are in the reference section too.
During my appointment with my GP she was very positive and supportive and
suggested that it would be a good idea to have my left breast checked. She said it
could well be perfectly fine but it was worth having peace of mind by having it
checked even though it hadn’t shown up on my latest mammogram.
16th October 2009 – Appointment made at the Jasmine Centre – Breast Biopsy
An appointment was made eight days later for me to have a mammogram and a
breast scan. During the waiting period I continued to treat any disruption in my
bodies energy system and whenever I found it was strong I discussed what was
happening with Tam so that we could do EFT together. This was really helpful.
After both tests were completed I was told that there was a cyst in my left breast
which required investigation. The investigation took place straight away by the
specialist who carried out the scan. The process of collecting the biopsy is
monitored on the scan and at the same time the specialist took two or three samples
and then I left to go home. I was asked to return a week later for the results of the
scan.
Unfortunately it was not possible to come at that time because Tam and I were
committed to teach in Bulgaria in only four days. During the time that Tam & I were
teaching in Bulgaria I knew that I would be returning to the Jasmine centre at
Doncaster Royal Infirmary(DRI) for my results. A number of times whilst we were
away I found myself experiencing sensations of anxiety or I was asking myself
questions. The questions surrounded wondering what had contributed to what was
happening to me. Whenever I was aware of any emotional intensity, wherever it was
I would acknowledge and really be with my feelings and thoughts. Depending on
where I was I decided to use the most appropriate way to support myself and to clear
any blockages that I felt. I would frequently wake up with a thought and possibly do
TAT on that awareness. At other times I felt scared or emotional in some way and
then I would use EFT to reassure myself and neutralize the negative emotions. On
reaching a more peaceful state then I would use positive affirmations or choices
whilst doing the tapping or TAT.
Throughout this time no one except Tam & I knew that I was waiting for results. It
seemed unnecessary to worry my children, friends and even colleagues particularly
the ones we were working with in Bulgaria. Mostly I felt positive, happy and safe. I
thought it was probably a benign cyst. At other times when I thought of the worst
scenario I acknowledge those understandable fears and I was with myself with any
thought, image or feeling. As I have personally used self hypnosis for over 35 years
now I naturally used positive imagery of my body, mind and spirit working in harmony
for health and peace of mind. When I walked I found it helpful to combine breath
work and inspiring imagery or affirming health and vitality.
27th October 2009 - Results of my biopsy and cancer diagnosis
Two days after we returned from our trip to Bulgaria I returned to the Jasmine Centre
for the results of my biopsy. As this time came closer I found myself really needing
to do EFT & TAT on emotions as they surfaced - thoughts like, “Am I going to find
out something that I don’t want to know?” After having an imaginary conversation
with my left breast whilst in the TAT pose I received several insights. When they
were emotional I would do the EFT tapping to acknowledge and listen to any
negative energy which was surfacing. I was consistently amazed by the way that
EFT, TAT and especially Tam brought support and comfort.
I took a taxi to the hospital because Tam had a commitment he had already made a
client appointment and was to come later to the hospital to pick me up. There was a
lot of traffic on the road there and the driver asked me about my stop smoking
programme. He said he had frequently brought clients and students to our clinic and
by the time he dropped me off I realised he knew a lot about me. Our conversation
was distracting and yet I still did SET whenever I noticed any emotional charge. On
arrival I felt calm and relaxed and because I now knew the way to the Jasmine
Centre, I felt more at home there as well.
At the desk I asked how long I was likely to be and because I found out I was the
next patient in after lunch it didn’t seem long to wait. Very soon one of the nurses
arrived to take me in to meet the consultant and Linda a breast care nurse was also
with me. The consultant explained to me what the biopsy had shown localised
cancer cells within a cyst. However, she said that she didn’t know from the sample
whether they were invasive cancer cells or not. She offered me the chance to have
another biopsy done by her at the time although she admitted it may well not give
any further conclusive information.
I was given a number of choices regarding the route I could take to treat this fairly
small cancer without any pressure. All of the choices had advantages and
disadvantages. After arranging for me to chat in more detail to Linda and bringing
me a cup of tea I found myself indecisive. Apparently they were not expecting me to
come to a decision there and then but to think about the various options including
non conventional treatment if that was what I wished. Whilst we talked we came to a
point of needing to make a time commitment for surgery. I asked Linda if I would be
up to teaching in Italy at the end of the November if I had surgery during the first
week in November. Her very definite reply of no made me aware that right now I
needed to make changes to the level of work I was about to take on.
At this point I decided to ring Tam and Linda tactfully left the room. I needed to talk
to him to find out if the Italian organizers had already bought our flights out to Italy or
if we could change our commitment to them. When I spoke to Tam I felt emotional
telling him the prognosis over the phone he was very positive and said “You are
much more important than our work in Italy”. His confidence and reassurance about
putting me first was really positive. When Linda returned to the room she was very
sympathetic for us to be apart and have to talk about the cancer treatment over the
phone. Linda and I arranged the day for surgery on the 18 th of November which
gave me time to do other things I needed to do before my treatment and they were
also happy about that.
30th October – 1st November 2009 Family Weekend in Tickhill
I really looked forward to this weekend. It is always lovely to be together everyone
was rallying round to help as they always do and especially now. All of our
daughters live away from our village except our youngest, Debbie, so before they all
came I wanted to talk to them a little about what was happening to me at the moment.
I knew that it wasn’t ideal to talk to Ruthie, Rachel and Alison on the phone even
though I decided that it was more one to one before they all arrived doing it this way.
When Debbie visited as she often does Tam played with her little ones so that we
had a bit of quiet time together on the pretence of looking at a recipe for the
weekend.
I wanted to make it as easy as possible for them to hear what they were not going to
want to hear. They were without exception amazing in their reactions although it
must have been unexpected. Unfortunately just over a year ago we had all faced a
loss through cancer together. Our loss was the death of Rachel’s (my second
daughter’s) husband Mick from a brain tumour. This left Rachel and their twin
teenage daughters alone to carry on life without him. He is sorely missed by us all.
During the weekend we all talked openly about possible treatment paths and various
positive conventional and complementary methods of help and support. All of my
daughters are working in caring roles so they had so much to contribute to my future
decision making. The week-end was wonderful and easy. We enjoyed lovely
delicious mostly healthy food and an abundance of it everyone bringing and
preparing together which is always fun. The grandchildren usually get in on the act
of chopping and washing fruits and vegetables and laying the table.
2nd November 2009 – Breast care nurse visits our home
Linda, the breast care nurse, arranged to come to our home to talk about the surgical
consultant Ms Roger’s diagnosis as well as the possible treatment plan and effect
through cancer. I met her at the time that I was given the results and found her kind
and supportive then. She spent around an hour and a half with us. She was very
patient with our questions and informative with her answers. When she left we felt
relieved and more certain about the course of treatment that I would take even
though we knew there weren’t any certainties. We also talked with Linda a little
about the work that we do and how this helps with the emotional aspects of cancer
etc. She said she remembered one of her clients had used it and had found it
supportive and helpful with her diagnosis of lung cancer which had turned out to be
TB.
3rd November 2009 – DRI for ECG & Blood test
This appointment was made to check my bloods and to have an ECG. This had to
be done a few days before my pre-operative assessment on the 9th of November.
Apparently I had to just turn up hand over my letters and queue up in each
department. I chose this day because there were not many clients booked in as I
was not sure just how long it would take to do this. Tam dropped me off at the
hospital and went to the printers to arrange for the manuals to be printed for our
coming weekend course. As we had no idea how long I would be he had a
newspaper and I took my Moleskine sketchbook/journal to fill in. After walking
through the rabbit warren of corridors and outside and into another building I arrived
at the ECG clinic. At the reception I asked how long I would be and sat down.
Before I could start to write in my book I was called in for this test. During the test I
found a pleasant place in my mind to go to so that the test was measuring a
pleasantly calm state.
I retraced my steps feeling elated that somehow everything was going smoothly
which was great. Then, I followed the signs to bloods and did the same there. In the
waiting area there were loads of people so once again I sat down and prepared to do
something in my book. After two minutes my name was called and I was in and out
like a dose of salts all very remarkable really. I rang Tam who had finished his
printing jobs and he had only just parked up awaiting the pleasure of reading his
paper in a side street. We were home back in Tickhill within an hour of leaving so he
sat and read his paper there and I did some relaxing reading.
One interesting thing that I did before this trip was to cancel things that I didn’t need
to do in order for me to be more relaxed and unrushed about it all. Somehow the
universe allowed it to flow easily too. As all of these practical things are unfolding so
wonderfully, I feel so positive and supported which is inspiring me through my
journey with cancer.
4th November 2009 – Short haircut
Having a haircut, on the face of it, may seem a monthly process however that’s not
the case. Since my hair grew from babyhood I have never had it cut short in my life
before. Making this decision and actually doing it was a liberating experience. Not
just because I don’t need to use lots of hairspray to keep it in order but its also
simpler to wash and dry and, I really like it as well. Perhaps it’s the rebel in me
feeling that I am doing what I want to do rather than my being told what I should do.
Let me briefly explain, I was brought up within the Exclusive Brethren sect where it
was expected to have long hair. It’s interesting because I have shaken off a lot of
this sect’s rules but maybe this is one of them that I unconsciously continued to obey
without realising it. This is another step in my emotional freedom to choose.
9th November 2009 - Pre-operative appointment Jasmine Centre
This visit went very well I saw Morag who is the sister at the Jasmine centre and also
Ms Rogers my consultant who came in to chat and to talk me through signing my
consent forms. I felt really well cared for I was there for just over an hour. I was
weighed measured and BP-ed and the sister filled out a health history form. Then
she took nose and groin swabs in case of MRSA and gave me Octenisan, a
cleansing liquid, to use all over my body for the 3 days leading up to my operation.
Just before I left Teresa, another nurse, took me into the information room where I
collected leaflets about diet, support group information as well as details about the
Arora centre which offers free complementary therapies. These are available for the
patients as well as their carers.
On my return home I felt really positive and well looked after.
12th November 2009 – Planning Brandon Bay’s Journey work
When all of the family had been together on the 1st November, Ruthie, our eldest
daughter, said why don’t you do “the journey” with someone mum. I hadn’t even
thought about doing this even though when I bought Brandon Bay’s book many
years ago I gave each of our daughters copies to read because it was so amazing.
The seeds of Ruthie’s idea grew in my mind even though it was just so unusual for
me to ask for help or receive therapy. I knew of someone I loved and trusted. She is
a local doctor her name is Dr K Birinder, a conventional doctor who also practices a
lot of complementary therapies including “journey” work. The only date which suited
us both was an afternoon before we were due to go to the theatre to meet Andrew
Newton, a hypnotist, I have known for many years.
We arranged a time allowing at least two hours together in the early afternoon. I was
not prepared for the powerfulness of my journey work. It was phenomenal and the
insights I gained still inspire and nurture me as I write this during February 2010. I
am thrilled that I listened to the wisdom of Ruthie my daughter. I believe that what
happened during those 2/3 hours together set me up and cleared many issues and
brought amazing clarity and peace of mind into my life.
17th November 2009 – Night before the operation
I had a strange dream on this night. Earlier in the day I had been talking to Ruthie
about being able to make telephone contact during my time in hospital and she
recommended that I put my phone on silent so I could receive text messages and
not disturb other people around me. So, because we were leaving at 6.15 in the
morning Tam put my phone on silent (something I never do) before going to bed so
that it was ready for the next day. In my dream all the family went for a walk up a
lovely interesting historical village hill with lots of nooks and crannies and after
sometime I realised that I had become separated from the whole group somehow. I
thought I would easily catch up with everyone because they had just been ahead
and had maybe gone into a shop or alley out of sight because I was interested in
something I saw too.
As time went on and I didn’t find them I felt rather concerned but still felt certain that I
would bump into them. I was really sure that this would happen so I didn’t bother to
ring to see where they were. As time went by and it got later and later I became
worried and then I felt lost and really alone. It was then that I decided to get my
phone out of my bag to contact them. As soon as I did I discovered that because it
had been on silent I hadn’t received the seventeen messages they had all sent to try
to find me. I think I woke up then because I couldn’t remember anything more of the
dream.
My interpretation was very positive really, I was obviously feeling a little lost about
my way forward at this time and I didn’t know what was happening to me and yet
here there was a tremendous amount of support and love open to me and yet I
wasn’t seeing, hearing or knowing about any of it. That was an eye opener to know
that there is always even more help and support all around me than I imagined.
18th November lumpectomy and sampling lymph nodes
We woke around 5.30 am and left without any breakfast because I was on a fast!
We found loads of parking spaces available so we were near to the entrance of the
Women’s hospital in DRI., our local hospital. The ward I was assigned to was G5,
up many flights of stairs, so I felt pretty ready to sit down when we arrived in a more
or less empty ward. Then we saw someone who said you are very early (it was just
five minutes in fact) please could you sit outside until we are ready for you. I was
glad of this because it had been a reasonable walk up anyway so it gave me time to
catch my breath.
After 5/10 minutes the same lady came out to talk to us again. She was possibly an
administrator and she said she was very pleased to be able to give us a bed but not
quite yet. Apparently yesterday there had been 12 mainly day surgical patients
sitting outside without any beds between them. As she talked about yesterday we
could understand that she had been stressful about that. Today was different, only
two admissions and lots of free beds made her life easy.
Later on, she took us to a bed and proudly told me this was mine to keep. Tam
asked if he could bring my bag in and then he left me to settle in. As I had been
asked to come at 7.00 I assumed that I was early on the theatre list. After I have
been there for a further 10 minutes a lady from Bessacarr arrived with her son and
daughter in law. They helped to settle her in and then left.
Around 7.30 Ms Rogers the surgeon arrived and made sure the Bessacarr lady and I
were happy with the procedure. She spent around 10/15 minutes with each of us
and marked out with a permanent pen on our bodies what she was going to do in the
theatre. I found out that the other lady was to be in before me, probably just before
or around lunch and that I was first after lunch. We seemed to be the only two who
were having surgery in that ward on that day. The other ladies, one from Tickhill and
another one from Bentley and Cantley had had their operations on the Monday two
days before us.
I found that I was generally calm most of the time and if I wasn’t I would do the
Simple Energy Technique (SET see reference section) or a visualization process
and it would settle down. I did a bit of knitting which I thought would be a useful
distraction and made one teddy scarf for our little grandson’s teddy and started to
make a woolly pompom hat for his teddy too. Umpteen nurses came and visited me
plus the assistant anaesthetist as well as a physiotherapist who gave me exercises
for after surgery.
The anaesthetist told the lady from Bessacarr that her blood pressure was low so
she may not be able to have her operation today. She was upset and worried about
this then they came for her around 11.30. I didn’t want her to miss her slot but I
wanted to get on with having my operation so that I could come home and not have
to stop overnight.
A theatre nurse called Laura brought her slippers and gown back so we knew she
was having her surgery. I began to get ready putting on my socks to prevent DVT
and my pants and gown. On top of this I put on my dressing gown.
Laura called for me around 1.30 she told me she came from Tickhill too and that she
was currently doing up a house behind the main road next to the chemist. I came
back to the ward about 3.30 which was just before the Common Lane, Tickhill lady
left to go home. We exchanged hugs and reassuring words and then she left
As my cancer was very close to or attached to my nipple Ms. Rogers warned me my
nipple would probably be removed during surgery. Ms Rogers removed my nipple
as well as the cyst and cut a clear margin around the cancerous area. At the same
time as this she injected dye. This dye travelled to the lymph nodes. This gave Ms.
Rogers accurate information to know where to take the lymph node sampling from.
This was done to find out if the cancer had begun to spread from my left breast to
any lymph nodes under my arm. I was warned before surgery to expect numbness
along the underside of my arm for sometime. A physiotherapist visited me to show
me the way I needed to massage my arm and lymph area as well as to help me
exercise my chest and arm.
I felt pretty good and as I tried to make myself more comfortable in bed, I found that
my oxygen mask wasn’t attached to anything so I asked the nurse if it should be still
connected to an oxygen outlet. As I was already well on the road to recovery she
packed it away. Then, I rang Tam around 5.00 he came in at 5.30 and gave me
arnica a beneficial homeopathic treatment.
Then he was sent outside till 6.00
because they were serving sandwiches. I chose a tuna sandwich and pretended to
eat it even though it tasted strong (maybe from the anaesthetic) or just because it
was hospital food! However, I really enjoyed my cup of tea it was just what I felt like
having.
I knew that I had to go to the toilet before they would let me go home so I asked if I
could go even though I didn’t really have to. One of the nurses went to take off my
leg bags (these are bags that fill and empty with air to massage your legs whilst you
are immobile) and the nurses found that they weren’t connected either! I was slightly
wobbly when I stood up but ok so I was escorted to the loo and they left me at the
door. I came out in a more stable condition determined to be able to go home if I
was ok to go. They did a few checks and said I could leave so I got dressed and
Tam came in and helped me.
We left hospital around 7.00 and as we travelled home I begun to feel really dry and
thirsty. It got worse and worse and I knew I really had to call into a shop or petrol
station to buy some water. My mouth and throat felt as though it was curling up it
was quite scary. So I was very pleased when we arrived at a petrol station on the
road to Bawtry. When Tam came out with a bottle of water it was a tremendous
relief to drink and I immediately felt better. Sips were sufficient to bring continued
relief so I actually didn’t drink a lot but kept sipping.
I heard from Tam that Edward, our grandson, had been poorly with his breathing and
had been in the same hospital as me at DRI and at the same time as I was.
Apparently when Debbie tried to come and see me they wouldn’t let her in. When I
arrived home I rang & talked to Debbie, and because I was still feeling the effects of
a dry throat she offered to phone everyone else. Then I had a banana and another
drink of water and watched something on the TV. I read my emails and then went to
bed leaving everything as it was. We were going to sleep in the library because I
thought it would be easier to get out of that bed from there and go to the loo if I
wanted too.
Tam gave me homeopathy for my dry mouth and sore throat. I slept pretty well and
woke at 7.00 o’clock got up and had a shower which was really wonderful. I went
downstairs and laid a tray for our breakfast and Tam took it up to the office.
Breakfast still tasted a bit strange but ok. Tam went to Nigel’s our hairdresser in the
next village for his haircut and I did some pottering around. I put the washing on and
Tam did all the carrying and hanging up for me. Some flowers arrived from Les &
Alison which were really beautiful and smelt lovely. Just before lunchtime we went
for a walk in Tickhill, calling at Juicy Fruits our local greengrocer, the chemist and
bank and then we saw Debbie whilst we were out. Whilst we were still in Tickhill we
decided to go for lunch at Nordest an Italian restaurant in our village. Apparently
Tam had eaten there the day before because it was easy and he didn’t know when
he would eat again if he was picking me up at teatime. I ordered some soup and a
Peroni but I just couldn’t drink it, it didn’t taste good so I left it and drank some water
instead!
After we arrived home I relaxed whilst watching the news and nodded off. Later on,
Ruthie rang to see how I was and we talked about her Friday visit. Then I watched
some of my painting programme and Alan Titchmarsh’s programme. Then I read a
bit and did my mail and answered my emails.
During the second night I was feeling hot and swollen under my arm and my left
breast. I decided to do some tapping around how I felt about the discomfort,
inflammation and swelling before I took some conventional medication. As is often
the case with EFT I found it brought surprising relief. So I did not need any
conventional pain relief at all. Then, I must have drifted off and on waking I was
feeling better in the morning.
20th November 2009
This is very strange because for over a week or more we have had no phone calls
for appointments, it’s almost like I switch them off when it’s not right for me. Then
today when I feel much more able to see one or two clients the phone rang twice.
The two people who rang were both asking for an appointment today. I delayed one
and just said I couldn’t do the other one that day sorry. Then, afterwards I realised
that I actually could do that appointment because I was feeling so much better. I did
the sway test (this is a type of muscle test where you ask your body’s response to a
specific statement) The statement I used which I got a yes to was, ‘It is OK for me to
see this client today’. I was elated because only two days after surgery I was feeling
this fit and positive. I called the new client back and left a message on her answer
machine to say I could see her at 17.00 hours if she still wanted to come. Half an
hour later she rang back and thanked me for contacting her and said she had
managed to make another appointment with someone else. I felt good that I had
honoured my body’s message and acted on it. Certainly the universe is working
toward my complete recovery and back to work again.
Ruthie, our eldest daughter is coming over that day. She had said earlier in the
week that she had crossed the day out of her diary so I was really happy about that.
Ruthie and I had time to catch up before we were to go out and she recommended
that I put an ice pack on the swelling under my arm and the side of my breast. It
certainly helped so that I felt a lot more comfortable when we went out to lunch
together.
When Tam and I returned home the postman had left a special delivery package
there for us. It was a package holding results from my hair sample which I had sent
for analysis with a bio resonance machine. When I read the report, I didn’t
understand the technical stuff but a lot of the psychological reports made a lot of
sense. I took the first set of medications from Dr. Birinder the MD who did my Bio
Resonance testing.
21st November 2009
Last night Tam & I moved back into our own cupboard bed it was a real treat to be
back there. The first couple of nights home we had slept in the library in a bed which
was easier to get out of. We both slept exceptionally well back in our bed and very
unusually we didn’t even set an alarm as we were not needing to be up for anything.
This was just one of the secondary gains that I noticed.
When the post arrived I found I had received my surgical follow up appointment and
also two CD’s from Inner Talk. I listened to both of the CD’s at the same time as I
copied them to tape to use with my old fashioned walkman. I didn’t notice any undue
anxiety about the appointment although realised after listening to the CD’s I was
much more relaxed.
25th November 2009
Everyday I was feeling better and stronger as well as more able to do things that I
want to do including a little gentle yoga. I have been thinking of some of the
psychological aspects of the Bio Resonance test and noticing where I am feeling
some of the predominant emotions which came up in the test. Especially the one
about abusing myself (I always thought about it in terms of thinking about or putting
others first). Abuse seems a rather strong word and yet I guess that is what I
sometimes do. Noticing it is thankfully helping me to change some of these patterns
of behaviour.
26th. November 2009
We had a bit of a lie in and got up for breakfast at 8.00. Tam and I have both got
clients today. This is my first very easy day back at work. After lunch Christine a
colleague and a friend who I exchange training and therapy with came and gave me
a massage this is my first one since surgery so I was really looking forward to that. I
rang up the Arora centre to book a therapy session they provide complementary
therapy free (6 sessions) for patients with cancer patients and their carers.
27th November 2009
I read a newsletter from Gwyneth Moss a friend and EFT Master. It had arrived in my
in email this morning. There was an article in her newsletter which was from Dr
Kate James. I was so touched when I read it and her story was so heart warming
that I just had to email Gwyneth and say thank you for publishing it. Whilst I read it I
did lots of tapping to.
Gwyneth rang me after she read my e-mail, she said that she was on the way to
Northumberland to visit Kate. When I told her what had been happening to me she
offered therapy to me anytime that I needed it. She also said she had put in an offer
for a house in Ilkley. This house was next door to the Ilkley Healing Centre. Later in
the day she rang to say the offer had been accepted and told Tam to tell me that
Kate would love to have a chat with me sometime.
In the evening I removed my bandages and I was happy to see how well everything
was healing. It was also so good not to have the plasters pulling.
28th November 2009
I realised that sleeping and supporting my left hand arm during the day when sitting
as well as last thing at night was making a tremendous difference to my comfort.
Although I have only felt niggling discomforts never bad enough to take any pain
killers. At the moment the feelings are more itchy healing sensations so I welcome
them in this way and they become part of the visualization process which is powerful.
Andrea, our friend and colleague from Italy, rang out of the blue. He rang Tam’s
mobile which we never answer whilst we are at home. I was right alongside it when
it rang so I was very happy to talk to him on his journey to Milan and because he
asked very intensely about how Tam & I were I told him a little about what was
happening to me. I only tend to talk about what is happening health wise if anyone
asks in details.
29th November 2009.
I received another email with love and good wishes from Tapas Fleming. I rang Kate
James before lunch and arranged a more suitable time to ring her on Monday
evening the 30th. I really enjoyed spending time doing some more gardening today.
It was sunny and warm and a pleasure to be outside.
30th November 2009
In the evening I rang Kate not knowing why I was ringing her really. We had over an
hour’s conversation about the work she was doing using Traditional Chinese
Medicine, the 5 elements and working with individuals constitutional types. She
asked me if I would be involved in a pilot study with her. I felt very honoured to be
invited to come and spend sometime with her, she wasn’t happy about charging me
fees as she felt that we would hopefully both gain from the experience of doing this
together. She asked me to keep a food diary including what I was drinking plus
medication and supplements. My likes and dislikes and cravings were also an
important part of understanding what was going on in my life.
I sent an email to Andrea with the dates he was wanting such as my birth and the
time of my separation from my family. He was wanting to use these date to chart
trauma in my life. As it was difficult to put a date on it I decided that Alison’s date of
birth was a significant time because my mum, dad, sister and brother never met her
and we were not in contact at the time or after the time that she was born.
1st December 2009 – Appointment for surgery results
I received an early morning text from Alison to say that she was thinking of me today
especially. Debbie dropped off Edward and said she would be thinking of me today
too. I picked up an email from Andrea regarding the use of Bach Flower essences a
combination of Star of Bethlehem, Gorse, Snowdrop to be put on my 1 st lumba
vertebra L1 (Lumber 1) This was in accordance to the Chronoreflexology map. He
said that when I was two years old something relevant happened.
I have obviously been thinking a lot about today and finding out the results of the
lumpectomy and lymph node sampling Ms Rogers did nearly two weeks ago. I have
been listening to my recordings and doing EFT regularly and specifically when I
notice that I need to.
Our meeting with Ms Rogers and Linda the breast care nurse went really well. The
surgery had been successful and my lymph nodes were clear, however, the
oncologist Richard was concerned about the small portion of grade 3 cancer which
was noticed on the wall of the cyst. In view of this, he was going to talk to the senior
oncologist about the best course of treatment. Apparently it would seem that the
cancer was not amenable to hormonal treatment as some are. So possibly the best
course of action was a series of 3 weeks of chemotherapy treatment. This involves
going in one Friday for 3 injections and going home with tablets for side effects for 3
weeks and then coming back for the same twice more. He said during this time they
would be taking blood tests to keep an eye on the white cell blood count.
On the way home I rang the girls and talked to them all except Rachel who rang me
back when we arrived home from the hospital. All of them were obviously concerned
about my probably having chemotherapy but very positive about the good results
and also of Kate supporting me with integrative medicine in Northumberland.
I emailed Kate on my return home and then ordered a Chinese meal because it was
getting late and I had a Peroni! This was only the second beer I had managed in two
and a half weeks.
Soon after my meal Kate rang and asked if we could come on Thursday and Friday
this involved quite a lot of organising and our leaving the next day. Tam booked the
hotel, Kate sent lots of information including directions to her home and things she
needed from me like filling in the questionnaire and doing my food diary. It was quite
late when I finished looking and printing out what she was wanting so we knew we
would need to make an early start with doing this for Kate. Then we did our own
packing and preparation for our visit there.
Here is part of two lovely emails that Kate sent to me on this day, it relates to my
familiar role of thinking of others and not being comfortable receiving care and time
for me:Kate writes “In fact when you feel yourself thinking of others/having wobbly moments
I'd like you to tap for 5 minutes or so on..... “
.....My green haven with Kate....rural Northumberland by the sea..........Time for me
to choose to stop now, peaceful and still, time for me, time for my body, marking the
beginning of a time for me just to give to me.
I feel it would be good for you to tap with this for 5 or so minutes each day before we
meet. Please feel free to play around with this and make it your own...
You take care of you....and get used to me doing that too.......!!
Here is another lovely recommendation from Kate too:.....as you start the tapping just close your eyes for a moment and place your hand
over your heart chakra/ rub the chest EFT point and just become aware of a colour
around you......simply be aware of it.......then as you finish the tapping I'd like you to
imagine yourself being wrapped in a shawl, a soft wispy shawl give it a colour
perhaps emerald green, rose quartz pink, or maybe white feels right....or perhaps
another colour, it may be the same as the colour you saw around you before you
began the tapping .....just what feels right for you...stay with this image for a moment
..........you may find from day to day the colour/shade/ or even texture changes for
you. Perhaps make a note of the different colours you find you start with and finish
with over a few days.
2nd December 2009
We left straight after lunch to go to Northumberland and went straight to Linden Hall
Golfing Hotel. This was a hotel that Kate had recommended and it was exceptionally
good. The staff were really welcoming and couldn’t do enough for us. After
unpacking and finding our way around the hotel we booked for dinner at seven. We
noticed on the wine list that there were vegetarian and vegan wines for sale so we
decided to order one of these.
We mentioned to the waiter that we thought that all wines were vegetarian he
laughed and said you would think so. Tam didn’t have a starter and ordered a
mushroom risotto hoping to have a sweet. I had some lovely butternut squash soup
and roast salmon with creamed potatoes and wilted spinach. When it was time to
order the sweet Tam had his eye on one he had seen another diner eating. When
the waiter returned he brought some details off the internet about vegan and
vegetarian wines and Tam asked about the sweet that looked a bit like an ice cream
sundae. The waiter said the food the gentleman on the other table was eating
wasn’t actually on the menu. Apparently, they were a couple who were trying out a
possible menu for their wedding! However, the waiter offered to ask the chef if he
had any remaining which Tam could try. In a little while, he proudly appeared with
this lovely looking sweet which was an exotic form of Eaton mess but it didn’t look
messy. There were layers of forest fruits, cream and meringue and a swirl of
meringue on the top.
3rd December 2010
The next day we were due to be with Kate at 10.00 so we had a leisurely breakfast
and left. I felt really relaxed at the thought of meeting her because we had had over
an hour’s conversation and I had also received a lovely email from her. Kate
outlined what we would be doing which would be very relaxed and easy. First of all
taking a case history which involved questions, looking at my tongue and taking my
pulse in both wrists and ankles. The questionnaire was intended to give information
regarding the five elements, wind, fire, earth and water from Traditional Chinese
Medicine. The answers from the questionnaire we had returned to her as well as
my medications and supplements all went into the mix.
Kate discussed the fact that the energy in my spleen and kidneys needed to be
supported and the intention was to use the green diet to complement this with
warming and nurturing foods such as ginger, pulses, beans, vegetables and
sustaining foods. It would seem that parts of my body were damp which was why
my tongue was slightly whiter than normal too. Kate said she would provide
comprehensive details which she would send to me of how this would work out
practically. During our first lunch we thoroughly enjoyed a thick and warming
butternut squash soup, together with a warm avocado pear stuffed with grains and
vegetables.
I absolutely loved my lunch and was fascinated by her comprehensive knowledge
about how to help to support my immunity in addition to ways to reduce the chance
of future cancer. When the body is in balance then mostly we handle cancer in our
stride without even knowing we have it.
Tam came to collect me from Kate around 4.00 and we returned to rest, chat and
read until it was time to go for dinner. We decided to go to the Golfers Pub which
was all part of the hotel complex. We both had a lovely dinner there and enjoyed the
fresh air on our walk back into the hotel and our room.
At the end of this lovely day I really enjoyed having a beautiful pink salt Himalayan
bath even putting my head under the water. This is the first bath that I have soaked
in since my surgery and it felt good. I imagined the salt soothing and healing my
scars and sending me on the road of recovery.
4th December 2009
Friday morning and the second day of visiting Kate involved us spending time up
until lunch in their study. In there we did some tapping on my worries about
chemotherapy, loosing my hair and turning this into positives around the thoughts of
my body has the inner wisdom to know what it needs to let go of and to knows when
to hold on to what it needs to hold onto. I loved this positive point of view because I
imagined the chemotherapy was doing its work on the cancer cells and they were
leaving my body and going into the ground and creating a beautiful bush with white
flowers blossoming. We also did a lot of tapping around loving my breast for being
the favourite breast which nurtured so well my children and that it was the easiest
one for them to feed from and that they also loved this one because it was close to
my heart and to the sound of my heart. Included in this tapping session was making
time to thank my instinct and body for giving me this message early to respond in
good time for the best possible treatment.
On the second day Kate made me a black bean soup with shavings of coconut on
top and also coconut milk mixed in to make it creamy. Together with another grain I
had never heard of which was crunchy and looked a bit like it was something
sprouting. The aim of the eating recommendations she was giving me was too
simplify and provide easily digestible food into my life. Doing this would enable my
mind and body to get on with doing whatever it needed to do and to do it well.
After lunch Kate showed me ways of combining abdominal breathing with yoga
postures. Doing yoga and breath work in this way meant that I was more present
with myself enabling me to enjoy the moment and for it to become more meaningful
to me in a very special way. I think in the past I have often taken time to do yoga
without much notice or intention on enjoying the peace of my breath.
On the last night we decided to go to the hotel restaurant for dinner. We had a very
relaxing and easy meal which nicely ended our last night leaving us feeling satisfied
and happy to read, watch the TV and go to bed. Before going to bed I loved having
another Himalayan salt bath to chill out in.
5th December 2009
We had a relaxing breakfast then packed to go home to Tickhill. The forecast said it
would be a clear and sunny day so we decided to take some time to look around in
the North East before heading home. Holy Island was the first place we travelled to
and as we travelled it looked spectacular on the horizon. When we arrived we
looked for somewhere to park and then it begun to rain very heavily. It was not
possible to go on to see the castle so we returned along the causeway to Alnwick
and stopped for lunch there.
The rest of our journey was easy so that we arrived home whilst it was still light in
the middle of the afternoon. It was good to return home and find a place of all of
Kate’s supplies of what I needed in the next month or so. There was certainly a lot
to think about and I knew it would take some organisation and planning to get into a
routine of juicing for in between meals and producing warming foods to support my
spleen and kidneys.
Whilst we were in Northumberland I had order fresh greens such as spinach, green
apples, pears, celery, cucumber, asparagus, lemon and ginger. I had decided to opt
for frozen blocks of wheatgrass until my juicer and wheatgrass seeds etc had arrived.
Whilst I was with Kate she ordered 32 cubes of wheatgrass to arrive when we
returned home.
6th December 2009
On the Sunday afternoon I was expecting a new client. So I sorted out my room and
what notes I had received from the child’s Mother. However later in the day she rang
to say all parties and social services needed to agree to my working with her and
wanted a CV sent to them. I was quite happy to prepare this and a letter and felt
more free during the rest of the day to put away my groceries from Sainsbury’s and
begin to get into a routine.
Each day since being with Kate I have thought more about my posture, breathing
and time for yoga as well as doing EFT.
7th December 2009
I prepared my green juice the night before because I had a very early client on
Monday morning. I enjoyed working again at this easy level. I find that I am getting
into the swing a bit with my healing diet. I especially love preparing all the life giving
green foods. They look and taste beautiful.
A few times during the day when I felt anxious about receiving the test results the
next day I did some tapping or walking around using my breath work for positive
mantras such as:
My immune system is strong
My body easily takes energy from my food
What I eat promotes vibrant health
My mind and body are in perfect balance.
I naturally allow healing to happen
Even when I am walking in our village or going to collect Edward from school I find
having an uplifting focus is fun.
8th December
After going with Tam to take Edward to school I did a little shopping and then went to
Debbie for eyebrow shaping and hand treatment. Whilst walking around to her home
I enjoyed the walk it was a beautiful day and the rhythm of walking and abdominal
breathing and affirming words worked really well. In fact I find myself often enjoying
this when doing chores at home too.
At 12.30 we had an appointment with the Breast Care Nurse who talked us through
any worries or questions about chemotherapy. Even though it was not certain I
would be having it as the HER2 test apparently hadn’t come back from Sheffield
Hospital. We then had lunch in Silks one of the eating places in the hospital and
waited for our appointment with Richard the oncology registrar. As the results had
not come back he was unable to give us any clear treatment plan. However he said
that 80% of patients with similar profiles as I was don’t need to have chemotherapy.
He talked about chemotherapy and radiotherapy and answered any questions we
had and we left feeling more positive. On the way home I sent texts to my four
daughters who rang back. Predominantly they felt positive that this was so far so
good.
The other reason I felt positive about a little delay was the fact that I would have
more time to be on the foods and supplements that Kate had provided for me. When
I returned home I sent a short email to Kate as she would have been expecting to
hear the results. However she too had been copied into the correspondence from
the hospital that we were given.
9th December 2009
I awoke early as I do most mornings and prepared my green juice ready for the day.
Whilst I did this I had my herb tea to warm my body before taking my juice. Later I
had my porridge and other goodies and got ready for another client.
The day went well although I am finding that preparing my food and the other things I
am doing takes up a lot of the day. I’m hoping that this will become second nature to
me soon.
10th December 2009
I drove the car for the first time since surgery to go and have my hair cut. I decided to
have my hair cut even shorter as I wanted it to be easy for me to manage whatever
treatment I received in the future. Now that I had short hair I had a feeling of being
liberated. Throughout my life I have never had short hair due to lots of factors. First
of all the religious sect didn’t allow short hair, I became used to this and Tam also
liked long hair so I was doing what other people wanted rather than what I wanted to
do. Having said that, I do also quite like long hair especially when it is healthy.
11th December 2009
After Tam took Edward to nursery school we left to go to Bakewell to see a small
crystal shop that Kate had recommended. Apparently she had bought a lot of her
healing crystals from there. The journey there was beautiful although it became
more and more misty. Before we left the car I had my mid morning green juice. We
look around for this little crystal shop and when we found it it wasn’t open so we went
for a late morning tea and coffee. Whilst we were there I rang the crystal shop and a
lady answered and said her daughter wouldn’t be in until late afternoon but that she
would be there. When we called in we bought a smallish rose quartz and a calcite
stone.
We had a further walk around Bakewell had lunch and bought some more fresh
green goodies for future juice. Later in the afternoon I had a really lovely Decleor
evidence facial treatment with Debbie which was blissful.
12th December 2009
Even though this was to be an easy and free day I still found myself wanting to get
up pretty early and make my juice! Then I caught up with emails reordered more
groceries from Sainsbury’s and did some other catching up too. I’m becoming aware
that Christmas Cards etc are just not being done and I am tempted to give them a
miss this year. I guess I won’t actually do this though.
13th December 2009
Each day when I read my email there are also one or two inspiring and encouraging
ones which are personally sent to me. I have kept all these special ones in a file
under cancer help in my email folders.
Usually, the first thing I do when I wake up is put the kettle on ready for my herb tea
and take my royal jelly. Then I make and drink my green juice with lots of lovely
mainly green vegetables such as 2/3rd of a colander of spinach, 3” cucumber, ½ a
bunch of asparagus, a piece of ginger, half a green apple, cubes of wheatgrass, a
piece of fennel, 2 sticks celery and a ½” slice of lemon including the peel. Then I
divide this into 3 drinks for the day adding my superfood plus and algae. Around half
and hour later I have breakfast which is usually porridge, berries such as blueberry,
raspberry, with my flax seeds, goats yoghurt, honey and a sprinkling of lecithin
granules.
Today is a special day because my school friend, Wendy, came to see me on her
own. Usually she comes with Keith her husband and we all spend the day together.
On this day she was came just for coffee. When Wendy left I felt a glow of wellbeing
from her visit.
Later that day I noticed a scratchy feeling under my arm something was catching on
my clothes so it was rather irritating. When I investigated with a mirror I found
something like a stitch which seemed firmly attached or a clip like thing in the scar
under my arm. Tam took photos under the microscope attached to the computer. I
rang Ms Roger’s secretary to ask if someone could take a look at it at my next
appointment. The secretary said she would put a note on my notes about this and
asked me to remind the receptionist about it when I arrived on Tuesday for the
appointment with the oncologist.
14th December 2009
I got up really early probably 5.30 absolutely wanting to get on with the day yet still
taking time for breath work and yoga which was very enjoyable. Most days I take a
walk around the lawn barefoot even if it is raining a little. Often it is still dark and the
stars and moon shine brightly like they are saying hello. I really love this time of the
day its my time, everywhere is quiet except for the dawn chorus and I feel I have
time to do what I want to do in an easy flowing way.
After my meditation, breathing and yoga I have my herb tea and my day really
begins so that after breakfast I’m off walking around Tickhill village on a mission for
spinach and other fresh vegetables.
15th December 2009
Today was a follow up at the Jasmine centre to get my results. We met Dr
Ramakrishnan for the first time who seemed to be a really nice guy. He said that
unfortunately the HER 2 results still hadn’t come back and recommended we waited
for them before deciding on any treatment plan. I gave him Dr Kate’s letter before he
left he read it and showed interest but said it wasn’t his area of expertise so he
couldn’t comment and that there was no research into the benefits of things like that.
He asked if I was OK with doing this fairly intense programme. I said I was and that I
was happy to wait until the HER 2 tests came back.
Before we left Linda found someone who could look at the bit sticking out of the scar
under my arm. It was a piece of a stitch which was sticking out and catching on my
clothes. After it was removed I felt a lot better.
In the evening Kate rang to see how things were and to look at adjustments in my
diet as it would now be after Christmas before any decisions were made regarding
my treatment. It was so good to talk to her.
16th December 2009
Today I had two clients and we are having the hands free phone fitted to our car for
our new iPhones. Did a little painting for the last few Christmas cards and posted all
the cards off except ones for the girls. It felt good working with the two clients
booked in today. I made a CD recording as a gift to send to Kate when I returned
her resources.
17th December 2009
Tam has a couple of clients today and I’m off to the dentist as one of my crowns has
fallen out. Kate ordered me some more frozen wheatgrass so I was expecting this to
arrive that day. I received confirmation that a family client group who said they were
desperate were coming later that week.
In an email from Kate today I received the following tapping inspiration:In terms of tapping ......
Embracing my journey... so trusting and open......so supported.... so safe.... always
protected and guided towards my highest good........ enjoying my very own
rejuvenating journey.
.......my own voyage of discovery.....enjoying spending time with Mair...for me....
getting to know me...growing more aware of my inner wisdom/ guide each and
every day....gathering strength by focusing within.......finding myself emerging so vital
so energised..... always grounded and always me.
19th December 2009
Had a lie in which was unusual and really nice because we knew that the family
client group were not coming until lunchtime. When they rang then to say they have
decided not to come and could they come on the 2 nd January I felt relieved but at the
same time I felt they were kind of taking me for granted and this was something I am
wanting to leave behind. Doing what feels intuitively wrong for me really needs to
stop. My strong feelings of being able to empathize with a young child in distress is
hard for me to ignore. Whereas another part of me knows that it is also my time for
inner child work for me too.
I enjoyed preparing my juice, lunch and dinner as well as re-reading the Brandon
Bay’s The Journey book that I had ordered from Amazon which Kate reminded me
about. When I read it many years ago it was a real inspiration and it made a lot of
sense. Right now reading “The Journey” by Brandon Bays is the right time for me to
read it again and it arrived today and already I am up to chapter 6 and loving it all
over again. It is also strengthening me in my resolve to give myself this time for
healing.
20th December 2009
I awoke fairly early and really wanted to get up and go for my early morning walk
especially as there was soft fluffy snow on the ground. I found the snow was soft
and gentle on the old roof tiles Tam has laid for our path. However, when I walked
on the grass the blades of grass under the snow were sharp and spiky so I didn’t
experience the softness at all.
At the time I didn’t think of the contrast of softness depending on what is underneath
its only now I’m thinking I want to be soft as well as strong. The snow on the path
felt so much softer than the snow on the grass and yet underneath the snow the tiles
have tremendous strength. What I noticed as I walked was that the grass was spiky
although as I walked on it, it was becoming damaged. Very interesting contrasts as
well as a message to me!
Later on after my Essiac Tea I continued to read Brandon Bay’s book and felt riveted
as I came to chapter 12. It was like chapter 12 was really speaking to me. In this
chapter she was coming to the conclusion that she needed time alone without any
distractions for herself. She ensured that this was in place when her husband was
away she told him how she felt and he knew and respected her decision to have this
healing time.
It was a real eye opener for me because I had provisionally given myself three
months sabbatical and yet here again I had listened to others needs at the expense
of my own. I knew then ignoring my instincts was not OK for my healing journey. I
am so thankful that this happened so that I can be clearer to know what is right or
wrong for me at this time.
I spent some time this morning realising how much helping others was a major part
of my identity. Asking myself who would I be if I wasn’t helping others. Who am I
without the success of my work what would happen financially if I didn’t work. This is
something that goes way, way back to childhood growing up and watching Mother
counting her pennies before going into any shops to see if she had enough. I had I
thought moved on from this poverty consciousness and yet, with hindsight, she was
a true Mother and always found money when it was needed. Many times I had
thought about my Mother and money a bit like the biblical cruse of oil which never
runs dry. Both Dad and Mum had so much faith in the thought that The Lord will
provide and that is certainly what happened.
Underneath my outside persona there is so much beauty strength and spirituality
and I begun to love connecting to the chore of who I really am. I was so thankful that
Kate had been a little insistent about my re-reading Brandon’s book for this very
reason. Kate knew as well as I am now beginning to discover how important it has
been for me to be serving others and thereby excluding myself. Lots of lights were
going on for me and I am so thankful for that.
Around ten o’clock we went for a walk around the public footpaths in the snow. The
sky was beautifully blue and it was clear enough to see Ferrybridge Power Station in
the distance. On our return home it was great to be in our cosy home and relax until
lunchtime.
I kept nodding off during and after lunch as well as through the afternoon even
though I had had a good sleep during last night. This healing rest is truly good for
me.
In the night I had quite a scary dream of someone chasing me with a machine like a
mower. I thought it might have been Jonno our gardener mowing the lawns but I
was in the garden before it got light. I think I woke up then with my heart beating a
little fast. I went to the loo and saw it was 4.30 am so I went back to bed and I lay
wondering if my thyroid function had improved and if I ought to get it checked. Then,
with some relaxing breathing I was able to get off to sleep until the alarm rang.
21st December 2009
After breakfast I put on the slow cooker with tomatoes, butter beans, red kidney
beans with various vegetables in it. It is one of Dr Phil’s recipes called chilli bean
casserole. Then I took the salad and fruit order to Juicy Fruits and bought some of
the meat that Tam enjoys such as Kidneys, lamb shank and rib-eye. I saw one client
and it went well. Then I did my yoga and breath-work.
22nd December 2009
I rose early to put on the Christmas puddings, the washing and slow cooker with
lamb shanks etc in. Then liquidised the left over chilli bean from yesterday’s
casserole for soup and froze half of it. Now I feel ready to relax and enjoy little
Edward and Harry. They were so good and enjoyable throughout the day. Harry had
been sick and had tummy problems the day before but he was obviously recovering
when he had his night time dinner before they left. Kate rang in the evening so we
caught up with one another talking about what we were both doing and what is
happening for me. Before I went to bed I did my yoga and breath-work. In the
evening my breath-work often includes sonic meditation (for details look under
‘Books’ in the Reference Section at the end of these notes).
23rd December 2009
Did some tapping first thing wondering how best and simply I can honour my
commitment to my special cleansing diet as well as being part of the family
Christmas celebrations at Ruthie’s. Things are working out in my head now as to
how I can do that.
I took some sprouters which are very good. They are packed with nutrients and are
very easy to grow. I have been doing this for a number of years. First of all I put the
seeds to soak then they are rinsed and drained each day and grown on the kitchen
windowsill. They start to sprout and can be eaten in 3 or 4 days. When they have
sprouted they can be put in the fridge for 5/7 days. See reference section for details
of books and where to buy them.
24th December 2009
I wrote and sent off a testimonial for Dr Kate to use on her new website. Then, I
finished off packing and sorted out my herb teas etc which I need to take to Ruthie.
25th December 2009
Off to Dan and Ruthie’s expect to arrive there between 11.30 and 12.00. I decided to
make up a large flask of green juice with ice wheat-cubes in to go to Ruthie’s. Before
I did this I put the opened flask into the fridge to cool it as much a possible. Then I
made enough green juice for the morning which was around a pint. This included
raw beetroot, carrot, celery, apple, ginger, lemon slice including peel and spinach
this ended up being a very beautiful red juice so I drank one glass early in the
morning and took the other for the journey including my goats yoghurt and golden
flax oil. Then, I made up enough for around 4 glasses of green juice whilst I was
there. This was much more of a green juice with cubes of iced wheatgrass, algae,
super-food powder and loads of spinach, apple, ginger, celery, fennel, thick lemon
slice, cucumber and carrot with about a pint of water. I filled the flask and then put
yoghurt vitamins, flax oil, royal jelly etc in my cosmetic bag with an ice pack and was
ready to go.
We had a wonderful Christmas dinner with the whole family and Ruthie’s in-law who
are really lovely. After lunch the children opened more parcels, last year we decided
to give children presents and not give one another presents because it made good
sense money and effort wise. We were happy to receive lovely family children’s
photos and other little touches. This made it possible for us and the children to feel
more freedom to enjoy what we have abundantly in life already.
26th December 2009
Everything seems to be going well with my current eating plan. Ruthie always has
loads of super healthy food so that I can pick and choose what suits my current way
of eating. Most everyone except some of the lads went for a walk I stayed with the
little ones and begun a super recipe for tomato risotto and it was great with lots of
other trimmings.
Both nights I slept well and whenever I noticed any emotional charge to do with
receiving my results from the oncologist on the 29th or any other worries, I did EFT.
28th December 2009
Woke early at about 5.30 and did some tapping on my heightened awareness of test
results from the hospital tomorrow then slept on late till 8.30 feeling really rested.
29th December 2009
I was pleased to be going to DRI again to meet the oncology consultant Dr
Ramarkrishnan. I was hoping that they now had the HER 2 results so that we would
know what their treatment recommendations were. He went through what had
happened such as successful surgery no lymph node problems and so on. Then he
reminded us of the fact that it was a borderline case which they were trying to treat in
the best possible way.
His recommendation was radiotherapy together with hormone therapy and no
chemotherapy. This was because in cases like mine the chemotherapy would have
a small percentage success rate at treating my type of cancer. Given the side
effects I would experience I needed to consider if it was worth while.
I had dreamt of this diagnosis and treatment plan so I was absolutely thrilled to hear
this from him. I truly wanted to receive the best of Western & Eastern medicine and
it seems like I was going to be able to have this.
30th December 2009
I felt great and woke up around 5.30 full of energy and vitality and got on with having
my herb tea and royal jelly. Following with my usual green juice with wheatgrass,
algae and super-food powder. I enjoyed some relaxing time to read and do some
breath work before making and eating breakfast with Tam.
I took my new tablet called Arimidex after breakfast then I liquidized yesterday’s chilli
bean casserole making seven portions of soup to freeze. Then I made up one pint of
green juice and put that in the fridge. I put one green juice in a bottle and the
yoghurt and golden flax oil into a bag to have on the way to the Sculpture Park
where we were going to meet Ruthie and the grandtwins.
Had a lovely lunch and bought one of Bob Ryan’s unframed cut outs. We brought
our twin granddaughters back with us and waited for Rachel to come and pick them
up. We met and had a cup of tea with Lee who is one of Rachel’s colleagues who
drove her so that she could answer the phone because she was on call. In the
evening we went to the Thai restaurant.
31st December 2009
We had a ramble around Tickhill picked up calendars, spinach and so on. It was a
lovely sunny day to be out and about. I bumped into Debbie at the bank and Taylors.
Jan a friend and colleague of ours rang after I got back and it was lovely to talk to
her.
1st January 2010
When I went out in the morning to do a bit of gardening I found it was bright but just
too cold to stay out long. Looked up tofu recipes on Google and found Chrissie
Hardistry’s name on one of them. Chrissie was the first person to teach us about
EFT in 1999. She wrote a booklet about combining EFT and hypnosis and many
years ago she wrote a vegetarian cook book.
In the evening I did one of the exercises in Brandon Bay’s book and listened to one
of my inner talk recordings before going to bed. I frequently do this as well as have
them playing during the day. The subliminal messages are assimilated with
unconscious competence when I listen with that intention.
2nd January 2010
In the evening my sore throat and swollen glands got worse which worried me a little.
Then, I thought (after I had done some tapping) everything is working out OK. I
asked Tam for some homoeopathy and he gave me Gunpowder.
3rd January 2010
I awoke early around 6.00 and felt better than I had done the night before so I didn’t
take anymore homeopathic Gunpowder. Had a lovely time meditating, reading and
doing some of my Moleskine. Whilst I was doing that I had a royal jelly, Essiac Tea
and later my green juice. Then I took breakfast up to Tam and settled down to read
my email. After breakfast I realised that I hadn’t taken my Arimidex, only because
there are days on the blister pack. That means I often forget to take my
Levothyroxine because there are no days on that blister pack. Then I thought maybe
that’s good too perhaps I don’t need as much as I used to have now I am on an
iodine rich green juice diet.
Dr Kate recommended that I go to the doctor during January just to double check my
thyroid function. In the early evening Kate rang to do some EFT for me on my up
and coming radiotherapy. I was surprised how helpful this was as I had already
done quite a lot of tapping surrounding this treatment. Whilst I cooked dinner I was
happy thinking about the positive imagery that we had used during our phone
session whilst we were tapping.
Here are some notes that Kate emailed me after our phone session:Just a couple of things for you to tap with
When you think of your radiotherapy as your very own
Deep healing light......that's what my body has chosen for me......so open and
enjoying an unwavering sense of trust in my body....... so much of my healing has
happened already.........my body knows this is just a bonus.........so strong so
protected, so balanced ........all that light .flooding and streaming onto Mair's
reservoir, deep in my heart, my safe peaceful place, that place for me to in this
moment just be me.........to have some fun even .......visit day by day ...watching it
growing, enjoying just like me being bathed in deep healing and rejuvenating light
every single day.
Seeing the reflections falling on it's surface.....watching a fountain.......feeling the
gentle warmth aware of it penertrating deep deep down.....my very own special
healing light.
Aware of that emerald river, flooding my vessels, all that healing chlorophyll, the
blood of all that's green......representing new growth.......part of me
reborn........igniting my inner wisdom/ knowing.........so much of my healing has
happened already...I'm moving beyond now
That inner wisdom in each and every cell/ in my reservoir close to my heart knows
exactly which cells/ part of me needs to welcome that deep healing light, and which
part of me can simply reflect it I don't even need to think about it, so open and
trusting always remembering each and every part of me knows exactly what to do
to heal.
Whilst we were on the phone, we also talked about how I was getting on with my diet
and possible changes in the future as well as one day a week taking time off the diet
for that day. In the evening just before I went to bed I read my email and prepared
breakfast, green juice supplements as much as possible because of an early start to
go to Sheffield during the rush hour. I was happy to read two emails from Kate. One
had a link to her website for my comments and for future reference for her clients.
The second one contained a summary of the EFT/journeying which we had done
together. I printed this off to take with me to the hospital as well as future tapping.
As I drifted off to sleep I did some of the positive imagery Kate had done earlier over
the phone. I slept really well and woke around 5.00 and went back to bed until 6.45
when I had my Essiac Tea, royal jelly capsule and took my green juice out to come
up to room temperature. Then, I made Tam’s breakfast and took his breakfast and
my green juice up into the office where Tam was doing his emails.
4th January 2010 Starting my radiotherapy treatment in Sheffield
I slept well and awoke just before 6.00 pm to be sure I was able to go through my
healthy nutritional routine. Straight away I drank my herb tea and took my royal jelly
before anything else. Fitting all this in with a break between each snack and
breakfast is challenging. Half an hour after the herb tea and royal jelly I drank my
green juice with algae and super-food powder. Half an hour after that I cooked my
porridge, included flax seeds fresh berries goats yoghurt, Etherium Black Powder
and honey as well as a sprinkling of Lecithin Granules. At the end of my breakfast I
took my Q10 and Vitamins.
We had decided to leave home at 7.30 for my 9.00 appointment because there was
snow on the roads and traffic could be heavy. Also it had been reported that
apparently parking there is difficult. It was busy in many parts however, we still
arrived just after 8.30 leaving us good time to park and find our way to the right
department. My appointment letter had been held up in the post but fortunately one
of the secretaries of Weston Park Hospital had rang to confirm the time we had been
given at DRI.
We were surprised to be able to park in the hospital car park and Tam went to ask
the car park attendant where he had to pay and found out it was free! He told Tam
that if we had been a little later all the spaces would have been filled so we were
pleased that we made the effort to arrive early. The receptionist was very helpful
and told us where to wait until we were called into the radiography department.
Within a short time a radiographer called Debbie came to take me to another room.
She invited Tam to come too which was really nice. Then, she talked to us both
about what was going to happen. Apparently this first day is the planning
appointment to work out the best way to give the radiotherapy each time I came for
future appointments. This meant they would mark up my body and I would have a
CT scan to help them with this planning.
Debbie left me to undress to my waist and put a gown on and Tam waited in the
adjacent room to where the CT scan was. This intensive prior planning was aimed at
minimizing collateral damage to the lungs and heart and to ensure that the area most
at risk of further cancer would be targeted. When I went in for my CT scan with
Debbie there was the consultant oncologist there and a number of radiographers
present. Dr Ram (this is what everyone calls him although his full name is
Ramakrishna) explained what they were going to do and asked if there were any
questions. Then they adjusted the seat on the scanner for the best possible position
for later radiotherapy. All of these adjustments are written down and my breast was
marked with felt tip pen as well as 4 permanent tattoos across my chest. The felt pen
would tend to wash off over time but the tattoos would enable them to align me up
accurately and safely each time.
On the way home I drank my green juice because in between breakfast and lunch is
about the right time to take it. It was good to be on the way home and to know what
dates and times the next 15 appointment would be. This enabled me to do some
planning such as making appointments with various people like Doctors, Dentists,
Chiropodists and also to start a new course of Pilates in Tickhill Debbie rang soon
after we arrived home to see how we had got on and was pleased to know
everything was ok. She was also happy that every Tuesday and Friday we would be
able to take Edward to school and collect him too.
6th January 2010
I woke just after 6.00 feeling good and wanting to get started for my day. It works
out much easier if I begin early with my herb tea and royal jelly. Then I am able to
have my green juice around 6.45 and my breakfast about 7.30 without feeling rushed.
Doing it this way is a good start to the day and also allows me time to do my yoga
and breath work in between the herb tea and the green juice before I’m too full. I
also love to read something light as well as something more spiritually nourishing.
This morning I read some of the new delicious magazine recipes and re-read some
of Brandon Bays “The Journey”. Now reading this book makes so much more sense
because I have been taken through “The Journey” with a local doctor who is also a
journey practitioner and in addition to that I have now also been through a cancer
diagnosis and surgery.
It was so beautiful outside so I really wanted to have a walk around the duck pond
and take a few photos of the church, the trees and the seagulls vying for bread with
the ducks.
I loved eating my roasted vegetables for lunch on my return home and then making a
gorgeous scotch broth like casserole for dinner. I am really enjoying doing more of
the very gentle roasting which brings out the flavour of whatever is put into the oven.
Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why Kate’s food tastes so good because it comes
from the slow cooking she is able to do in her Agar cooker
7th January 2010
Waking early has over the last 30 years been a pleasure for me and this was no
exception. I made my herb tea, had my royal jelly and took out my green juice so
that it could come to room temperature. I looked through one of my art magazines
and loved the picture of a kitten and decided after my yoga and breath work I would
sketch a kitten into my little Moleskine notebook.
Today at 10.30 I was going to a new group in the village that was offering 6 week
ongoing Palates courses and this was to be my first day. The snow was deep on the
ground still stopping many people going to work as well as delivering things to us.
I went to my first Pilates class today and really enjoyed doing it there were three
people there that I knew. Jean a neighbour and Christine a friend from our village
were both really sweet to me. The snow was still thick although the traffic was
getting through the village.
8th January 2010
I was up around 5.45 and did some reading whilst I drank my herb tea and chewed
my royal jelly capsule. Had green juice and had a shower then enjoyed my breakfast.
Then, I started doing an up to date food diary for Kate.
9th January 2010
I awoke happy and lively at around six o’clock. I enjoyed my herb tea and read my
new book about relationships. I did some painting of snowdrops in my Moleskine and
did some yoga, breath work and Pilates. I made this my first day off diet since I
started over a month ago. As this is my day off my diet (once a week) I baked some
bread and prepared to cook Dr Phil McGraw’s tenderloin herbed crust which just
melts in your mouth for dinner tonight.
I decided to knock off all the snow from low bushes and trees which were bent
double with the weight. It was great to be out in the deep snow and breathe in icy
cold refreshing air. When I came back in the granary bread was risen so I put it into
a warm place after kneading it again ready to rise for baking.
I felt a little happily tired so completed dinner preparations and decided to rest and
have a small glass of red wine. I have found alcohol just doesn’t appeal to me at all
and even the coffee I decided to drink after lunch for a change wasn’t that nice either.
Both of these feelings are strange because usually I would have a bottle of
Budweizer most nights and 4 coffee’s a day. However, since my cancer diagnosis
I’m not interested. Its almost like my body is telling me something and the beer and
coffee actually taste strange.
10th January 2010
I had a lie in this morning, Sunday. I had awoke around 4.30 and thought that’s just a
bit too early so allowed myself to relax and dropped off until 8.30 ! This was a late
start for me so it was around 10.00 before I had my breakfast. With my routine of
herb tea royal jelly capsule and making and drinking green juice with periods of
waiting in between the process takes a while. Usually I’m up around 6.00 o’clock so
it’s relatively easy for me then. Fortunately all of my radiotherapy appointments from
tomorrow are after lunch so I won’t feel rushed and we will be able to take Edward
too and from school on the days that Debbie works.
Whilst I was waiting for the right time to make and take my green juice I did my
emails. After I drunk my green juice I watched a couple of my art programmes which
are recorded for me by Tam on Sky+. So there is always something that I can enjoy
watching. These painting and drawing programmes are a source of inspiration and
learning too.
I put the oven on to warm up my lovely roast vegetables that I had saved from
yesterday. Then I looked through my wardrobe to find clothes that I was no longer
wearing which would do for the Heart Charity to collect on Monday. Whilst I’m still in
the clearing up mood I sorted through a couple of drawers which badly need sorting.
I found things in there I didn’t know I had like greaseproof paper I thought I had run
out of and bought to cover the Christmas puddings! It always feels mostly good to
give away what I no longer need even though part of me wonders if I will regret it or
miss something afterwards.
It’s so good to be able to take more time over lunch and be more peaceful with life. I
cannot ever remember not feeling that I needed to catch up or be on the go all the
time. I finished the snowdrop drawing and did a few emails. One email was a lovely
surprise from one of my nieces asking how I was. I have been so touched by regular
messages of those saying they were sending healing and love from others. It is
beautiful to let them in and receive in this really sweet way.
Dinner at night was mostly done in the oven. The butcher had spatchcocked a
chicken so it was marinating in oil, lemon juice and rosemary. The potatoes and
sweet potatoes were baking and the chicken would soon join them in the oven and
when they did I was ready to have a lovely Himalayan salt bath, do a little yoga,
Pilates and breath work whilst the oven did its job for me.
I could smell the lemons and sweet potato as I left the bathroom I knew that I had the
time to do what was good for me to do and be OK with doing something for me. A
strange and unusual feeling I could enjoy becoming used to. Dinner was delicious
the red onions roasted under the chicken and petti pois done at the last minute were
delicious. Then, just before bedtime there was time to do some more stretching,
sonic meditation and my emails before slipping luxuriously into bed. Knowing that as
I did that I would be doing Kate’s Imagineering to inspire and support me as I drifted
peacefully into sweet dreams ready for the next part of my healing journey.
11th January 2010
Woke really bright and early this morning and got up around 5.30 felt loads of energy
for the day. It’s as if this is another milestone going for my first session of
radiotherapy after lunch. Having an early start enabled me to have my herb tea and
royal jelly early and to have time to read the great new books that have just come
from Amazon before my juice. I also ordered another one which was mentioned in
Professor Jane’s book. I have been trying to find a good Tofu book and this was
called the New Tofu Recipes. Amazon had a second hand one which they charged
me £0.01 for. The post and packing was £2.76 so the total is £2.77.
We had an early lunch and left around 12.30 pm when we arrived at the hospital the
cars coming into the hospital were queued down the street so I left Tam to queue
and park when he could and I walked up the road and into the hospital. Tam arrived
before I was called in to take everything off above my waist and put on a robe. Matt
took me to where I could change and he said when I was ready I could wait with Tam
until I was called again. Jennifer came and took me in for my treatment she put me
onto a similar coach as the one when I had my CT scan. It has a section to sit in so
that the support under your bottom kept you in the right position and your feet are up
against a footrest. All of these supports enable the radiographers to place patients in
just the right way to keep the treatment consistent. My arms were also positioned in
the same as with the CT scan. My arms were crossed overhead a bit like holding on
to the handle grips of a bike. I was surprised just how comfortable it was when I had
my CT scan.
Matt, Jennifer and another female radiographer were there then Dr Ram came in.
They were talking to one another and I decided to close my eyes and to do the
positive relaxing imagery. They did a lot of adjustment to how I was placed and
moving the couch up and down then they said they would leave the room for around
a minute saying I could wave if I wanted to attract their attention. After about a
minute they returned and said they were going to alter the position of the machine so
it took another angle I think (my eyes were closed and I was relaxed so I didn’t see)
However, they did give me a DVD to take home and watch so that I would know
what to expect. Then they left me again and it didn’t seem long at all till they were
back to take me off. There were lots of noises of the machine moving and sounds
when presumably the therapy is being given.
I knew I wouldn’t feel anything as I had not felt anything during an X-ray and the
machine never comes close enough to touch. When they took me off the couch I felt
absolutely fine. I dressed and then Tam & I spent a bit of time talking and listening
to what Jennifer had to say. At the end of my appointment she offered me and Tam
the chance of having 6 sessions of complementary therapy. I said I would like some
reflexology so Jennifer offered to book something and tell me when next time.
On our return home I decided to take off my bra and put on some acqueous cream.
We had an afternoon drink of herb tea and I did some emails. Then I took a bit of
time to relax and watch one of my painting and drawing programmes then, I think I
nodded off! Debbie rang whilst I was relaxing to find out how I was. It was then time
to make dinner and the usual things around our home. Later, Ruthie rang and we
chatted for a long time before she put me onto Alison so it was good to catch up with
them both. Before bed I put some more cream on and did some yoga and breathwork.
12th January 2010
Woke bright and early around 5.00ish so got up and had some raspberry leaf tea
and read some more of Professor Jane Plant’s book still only on the first chapter. It’s
certainly interesting reading. I woke in the night with strange, not painful but different
sensations in my breast almost as if it had been shaken. So, I decided it would be
helpful, if this was the result of shock, to visualize comfort and safety. My current
imagery didn’t seem appropriate for soothing what I was feeling and then I imagined
my breast being supported with velvety soft fragrant pink rose petals. This imagery
together with SET (Simple Energy Technique see references) immediately settled
and soothed me. So that when I woke I felt really good.
My second day of radiotherapy was a lot quicker so that I feel I am getting into the
routine. The staff at Weston Park Hospital were really helpful. Whilst I was there
one of the radiographers gave me an appointment they had made for me to have
reflexology which was to be the day after tomorrow. Before we left we decided to
find out where we would be going for my complementary therapies. We were told by
the receptionist that it was at the back of the hospital and we found a large house
called Cancer Support so rang the bell. We were invited in for a cup of tea and met
a couple of the co-workers who were very warm and friendly and chatted to us about
other complementary therapies and facilities which were available.
In the evening Kate rang to find out how my radiotherapy was going and we chatted
for about an hour and a half. Kate gave me lots of ways to improve on helping
myself diet, supplement wise and sent me an email to support our conversation.
These are always really helpful because it is hard to remember afterward all we have
discussed.
13th January 2010
As there was nothing really on we decided to be more leisurely in the morning. Tam
went out into Doncaster and I stayed at home doing practical things.
My third session of radiotherapy went smoothly and during the journey there I found
it is a wonderful time to relax. I am so fortunately to have Tam taking me and
bringing me back as I have no worries about parking there as he just waits in the
queue. The quick turnover of patients means that within 20 minutes or so he is able
to join me. By the time he joins me I am sometimes already having my treatment
which only takes minutes now they have got into the rhythm.
In the evening I met a client who I have known for a number of years and offer to
make her a CD which I love doing.
14th January 2010
Today is the second week of my Pilates class and it went very well with a very active
group of people attending. We will be going earlier to Weston Park today because I
am taking advantage of the offer of free complementary therapy and having a
reflexology treatment before my radiotherapy.
After lunch we arrived early for my reflexology treatment whilst I waited I talked to
Catherine who works there who was a radiographer and had worked at Weston Park
for many years. She rang the radiography department to say I had arrived at the
clinic and was it alright if I was a little late for my radiotherapy. Whilst I waited for my
appointment she brought some hot water for me to drink and organised another two
appointments for complementary therapy. By this time Tam had managed to park so
he had a coffee and did his email whilst I had my treatment.
John is the reflexologist at the clinic and he said he thought he remembered me
coming to present EFT at another Cancer Support Centre in Sheffield called
Cavendish House. He was quite right, we had given a talk about EFT there to the
therapists some time ago. After filling in some forms we got started straight away
and it was very relaxing. Apparently his daughter is also a reflexologist too. He
expressed interest in learning EFT sometime and asked a few questions about it.
Then he said he wasn’t able to sing could it help with that. When I left after a
relaxing treatment he said thanks sorry about that it was a bit like a counselling
session!
We arrived a little later than we thought at the radiotherapy department but they were
absolutely fine about it. Soon we were on the way home again and I knew I was
nearly at the end of the first week. The traffic was surprisingly free despite it being
the rush hour.
Each day when I return home I have a wash as I seem to be sweating more. It is
probably because I am unconsciously experiencing a little anxiety still. After my
wash, I put on some acqueous cream or E45. My skin still seems to be alright and as
advised I am not wearing a bra except on occasions when I need support such a
when I do Qui Gong or Pilates.
I found I was less restful getting off to sleep even though I had done my breath work
and yoga before going to bed. Part of it is that I haven’t really settled a good plan for
ways to be including my proteins. At lunchtime I had some braised tofu, it was ok
but I could have done without it - taste wise. I am persevering because I am learning
a lot about food and providing better balance with less meat and fish so it is also
exciting too. For dinner I had a vegetable casserole which was lovely and after
dinner I ate some nuts. I did a bit of SET and that settled me enough to have a good
nights sleep waking before the alarm around 6.30.
15th January 2010
The day was less busy without my reflexology and Pilates so maybe that was part of
my being unsettled yesterday even though they were enjoyable things to do. Time
wise they created pressure because of the journey to Sheffield the reflexology and
radiotherapy which took 4 hours altogether.
After lunch we left for my radiotherapy treatment. Just before I went I noticed that
around the scar on my breast there was a little inflammation so I mentioned it to the
radiographer who said it was from the flash off the scar and that it would clear up.
Tam gave me some homoeopathy to help its not hurting but I wanted to take the best
care of my skin. Even though we were held up on the way to Sheffield because a
lorry cab and container had split we were still in good time and we were in and out in
a trice. I’m looking forward to a weekend break away from travelling to Sheffield.
16th January 2010
This is my second one day a week off my special eating regime. I am actually
missing not having the green juice but I don’t think I will miss my flax oil and cottage
cheese. Yesterday was the first day of having that and it is less palatable than flax
oil and goats yoghurt. I did include nuts and berries in it but it still wasn’t enjoyable.
I’m not sure why because the oil taste OK on its own and I like cottage cheese on its
own. I talked to Kate about it on the following Tuesday. Each week she usually
rings me and we email in between but this is not a problem at all. The previous day
my probiotic, vitamin C & selenium arrived so I started taking these. They are in
addition to Q10 and vitamin supplements which I began with. Next week the vitamin
D capsules are expected to arrive.
My breast feels comfortable and is not inflamed anymore. On Monday there was to
be a review by the oncologist when I go for my 6 th radiotherapy treatment. There are
three reviews by the oncologist with the radiotherapist during the three week cycle.
We got up later than usual because it was Saturday because I didn’t need to have
my herb tea and royal jelly, wait and have me green juice before breakfast. So, we
had our breakfast straight away. After lunch I did some painting in the Wendy House
and then brushed up the leaves off the paving stones in our garden. It was good to
do something outside in the fresh air.
17th January 2010
It was great to wake up today early as usual. I really do like to have time and space
to do the things that I want to do. These activities are yoga, Pilates, breath work,
reading, writing and drawing in my Moleskine. When I do these things early it is
leisurely and pleasant it is almost like I am really present with the enjoyment of
pursuing this for me. It seems as if when I wake up later I have to rush through the
process because there are other demands on my time and energy. When I am in the
moment of what I am enjoying it is delicious and nurturing and it feels so right.
I found myself a little uncomfortable and lacking creativity thinking of what to prepare
for lunch and dinner. In some ways this is because I’m preparing two meals one for
Tam and one for me. In another way I am missing making and eating freshly baked
bread, casseroles and having unlimited possibilities of vegetarian, meat, eggs, fish
and cheese. What I am eating at the moment is nearer to vegan. It is strange really
because I absolutely love vegetables and salads which is what I ate mostly (even
before cancer was diagnosed). I would have had meat, cheese, eggs and fish
however, the quantities were always very small. Now by comparison I am eating a
load more and feeling somehow incomplete. Probably its early days, so I’m tapping
for my cuisine creativity to return to me.
After lunch I did a little painting in the Wendy House and whilst doing this I listen to
music or maybe something inspirational like Deepak Chopra and so on. That day as
I listening he was talking about the Ayurveda dosha types so it was interesting
because the elements seem to be quite similar to Traditional Chinese Medicine.
Afterwards I thought of gently roasting half a butternut squash and stuffed it with tofu,
fresh ginger, Pistaschio nuts cumin, paprika and cinnamon. In another dish I roasted
cubed potato, sweet potato, fennel, leek, rosemary extra virgin olive oil and balsamic
vinegar. Both of these dishes were delicious. Tam had chicken and mushroom
sauce lasagne and snap peas.
18th January 2010
Monday is the start of my second week of radiotherapy. We have decided to go
early and visit the Weston Park Museum which is almost opposite the children’s
hospital just down the road. We thought we would eat lunch in the café there and
wonder around before my going for my radiotherapy. This morning I awoke really
bright and alert at 4.30 I decided it was just too early so returned to bed after going
to the loo to do some imagery. I didn’t drop off to sleep again but was happily awake
until about 5.00 when I heard a plane take off from Finningley airport a few miles
away I got up. Although I didn’t realise it was still quite early I enjoyed having my
royal jelly and herb tea whilst quickly sketching a family outing photo. None of the
people on it were recognizable after I had finished but I felt good anyway.
I did some breath work, yoga and Pilates then took my green juice. I find if I make
my juice half way through the day and put one in the fridge for the early morning one
the next day it works better for me. Then I did a pen and ink group of pansies from a
magazine into my Moleskine and found that enjoyable too. Later on I will colour it
and write in the journal part of it for today.
We left at 11.00 to go to Sheffield. We intended to arrive early enough to park the
car at Weston Park Hospital and then go down the road and cross over to the
Museum. Have lunch there and spend a couple of hours looking around before
returning to the hospital for my radiotherapy. This worked out well we had a
pleasant lunch and begun to explore. Two and a half hours later we crossed the
road had a coffee and a pomegranate juice and arrived at the hospital half an hour
early. Today was a review day so I saw one of the radiographers and had my sixth
session of therapy. So, I am over a third of the way through my treatment.
19th January 2010
Our trip to Weston Park Hospital for my seventh visit was the fastest yet. It still takes
around two hours out of our day. Fortunately for me because Tam always drives me
there and back this time is really relaxing for me in fact I quite often nod off. When
we arrived home I put a baked potato in the oven and added a chilli bean casserole
to it. Tam’s meal is simpler - a home made lamb-burger in a seed roll and some
steamed vegetables. Tomorrow I go for my bone density scan so I will take a can of
coke to drink afterwards as recommended by Professor Jane Plant in her book (see
references). Something I don’t ordinarily drink but if it helps that’s good.
As promised Kate rang and we chatted for around 45 minutes. It is always helpful to
listen to her recommendations and to ask questions. Each week she phones me as
well as has contact with me through emails and sending various products as and
when I need them and she kindly passes on her practitioner discount to me which is
a great help.
20th January 2010
This day it was an early morning start - my appointment is at 9.00 am for my bone
scan. As recommended by my appointment letter, I will wear clothes with no metal or
plastic zips or buttons on so I can be fully clothed for the scan. I woke up and got up
at 5.30 full of the joys of spring although it’s only January! First of all made my holy
basil tea and had my royal jelly boast then started painting the pansies bringing
colour to the ink drawing I did a day or two ago. When my tea had settled I did some
yoga, breath work and Pilates on my lovely heavy duty yoga mat. I bought this years
ago on the internet and then wondered what to do with it because it wouldn’t roll up.
Now, I slide it behind the old oak bench in the dining room and no one knows it is
there and it’s really handy for me to use. I took my green juice, flax seeds/oil and
cottage cheese and read some more of Professor Jane Plant’s book.
When I heard Tam stirring I made breakfast took it up to the office and then did my
emails and this story you are now reading. We arrived early at the hospital and were
shown in before our appointment time. They took a number of scans on a very new
machine which was really easy for me. They asked that I wear clothes without zip,
button, bras without plastic or metal if I wished to be scanned with my own clothes
on. I wore a really loose track suit without a bra and was only in there a few minutes.
When I received my appointment they sent a questionnaire which the therapist went
through with me. This was helpful because I had had time to give a little thought to
the answers before my appointment. On leaving she said that it would take around 3
weeks for the results to arrive at the oncologist and my local GP. In fact it actually
took around two months!
I drank my can of coke (something I would not normally drink) after my scan as
recommended by Professor Jane Plant. I always have my afternoon green juice on
the way home each day that I have the radiotherapy too. I believe that it is very
cooling for my body to be having the wheatgrass and vegetable juices then.
I was feeling a little tired but absolutely fine. I have made it easy to cook dinner
because I prepared it between my appointments which were held at different
hospitals. Before I go to bed I usually prepare as much of our breakfast tray as
possible. I have noticed it is very helpful in the morning if I do this especially for my
supplements and medications.
21st January 2010
Today is to be my third Pilates class so I organised enough time to drop off orders at
the butchers, the local greengrocer as well as paying into the bank on my way. I find
the classes helpful although it is difficult to make sure you are isolating and working
on the right muscle or group of muscles. Hopefully it will become easier with
practise.
Tam and I will be leaving earlier today for my radiotherapy. I was to receive
hypnotherapy at the cancer support group which is attached to the hospital before
my radiotherapy. My session with Mick the hypnotherapist was extremely helpful.
His induction and imagery journey to the beach was very pleasant and useful as well
as the empty box in the boat and pushing it out and sending worries away. His idea
of noticing discomfort and giving it a colour and a shape worked well for me too. I
would like another appointment with him but am reluctant to make an additional
journey to Sheffield just for that.
We had fish and chips and mushy peas from the chip shop tonight because we were
rather late home. I only ate a small piece of the batter because there was plenty of
white fish inside. I was able to say what I felt to Tam about my following a plan of
healthy eating and drinking. Tam’s concerns were very positive, valid and
understandable so it was good to know we have similar thoughts about the way that I
was wanting to support my healing at this time.
22nd January 2010
I was up relatively early and having planned and organised the start of the day things
just fell into place. It always feels better when I am well prepared it’s a more relaxing
start to the day. The interesting thing is that it doesn’t take much time in the evening
either. I remember reading a story about car factory workers, when they are working
on the production line, they do a similar thing. Last thing at night they almost
complete their contribution to the production line so that in the morning when they
arrive they feel they have something completed. So, perhaps I am not alone in
finding that being well prepared the night before helps me to feel good
psychologically even if this story isn’t true.
I went into my Wendy House to do some painting whilst Jean did some cleaning. It
was great to be away in my little retreat listening to Deepak and splashing around
with lots of gorgeous colours. My radiotherapy went well and was really quick I was
taken to another machine because the LA2 machine was being repaired. Soon after
we arrived home I prepared loads of vegetables for a stir fry for dinner. First of all I
did some fillet steak stir fry for Tam then the vegetables and rice for both of us. Its
good when I can combine part of the meal being the same. So I have a couple of
slivers of beef and Tam had the rest.
23nd January 2010
There are a lot of thing that I wanted to do today so I first of all cooked two large
carrot cakes then we had lunch and afterwards I went shopping for a couple of things
I needed to complete the rest of the cooking I was doing to freeze for a family
weekend together in the middle of February. After icing the cakes and preparing two
tasty herbed tenderloin beef joints for then too I put them all in the freezer. As I was
quite tired I decided to order something from the local Chinese restaurant. For the
rest of the evening we relaxed together and enjoyed this.
24th January 2010
We had a lovely lie in the morning and breakfast in the office and time to catch up
with emails and do some writing. Then I sorted out the freezer and repacked things
to take to Ruthie for our February family get together.
It was a review day so we saw the consultant oncologist Dr Ram who is a really
lovely approachable person he said I would probably be seeing him in March at the
Jasmine Centre. My twelfth radiotherapy went well and we were soon on the way
home. We had dinner and relaxed a bit before I went to make a CD recording to
send to my morning client in the post tomorrow. It seems like there is very little time
in a day now with each visit to the hospital. Fortunately Friday the 29 th of January
will be the last day. I mentioned to Dr Ram about my eye dryness just in case it had
anything to do with the Arimidex medication. He said if it causes too much of a
problem then maybe we will need to reconsider what to do.
26th January 2010
During the day I noticed my tongue was very sore. I couldn’t remember biting it or
burning it which I do occasionally. I was puzzled why it had flared up like this. My
eyes had also been rather dry for almost a week now and I was wondering whether it
was spending between 2 – 3 hours travelling with the blower on as well as the cold
weather. I mentioned a couple of my symptoms to Kate and she said it’s quite easy
to burn our mouths and not really realise it. It’s strange that I seem to worry more
about day to day symptoms than I ever used to. Perhaps it is understandable so I am
tapping more on these worries as well as the physical discomfort.
It was good to catch up with Kate and talk about progress and changes which could
be made to what I was doing. I will be able to catch up with her again at the
weekend as well as lots of other people I haven’t seen for ages.
27th January 2010
I’m still finding it hard with my sore mouth and ulcers now appearing on them. I think
it’s the sort of pain that is difficult to dismiss because it’s swollen and is rubbing on
my teeth and gums. I’m surprised something so small is bothering me like this. I do
quite a lot of tapping because I feel out of sorts and it makes me feel quite a bit
better. (After later research Tam discovered that this mouth soreness is a possible
side effect of radiotherapy and that there is a good homeopathic remedy to help with
this).
28th January 2010
I woke up this morning around 5.00 and was quite concerned because my left hand
felt numb almost like it had had a local injection. I decided to relax and lie quietly to
see if I had just been laying on it awkwardly but it didn’t improve. I got up and
thought of possible reasons for this. Since my lymph node sampling there had been
loss of feeling under my arm and most of the underside of my arm which I had
expected. This back of the hand numbness was new. I wasn’t that worried about it
because there was no other loss of sensations on that side of my body.
I looked for my booklet on lympodema in case this was a common symptom after a
sampling of the lymph nodes had been taken. I must have decided this wasn’t going
to be a problem and had thrown the leaflet away. (After the completion of my
radiotherapy and when we were with our family in February Ruthie [who is a
physiotherapist] asked a bit more about the background of how this numbness
begun. It appears that it is possible that the stretch position with my arms above my
head had created some slight nerve damage. Ruthie gave me some exercises to
help this problem and now at the end of March 2010 the numbness in my hand has
completely gone.)
At 9.0 am I had a chat with the radiographer and told him it’s not swollen and I have
movement in it but I just cannot feel the back of my hand as well as around my
thumb index and middle finger. He said ring again if it gets worse we will see you
later on. I decided to go to my Pilates class and wondered if some of the Pilates
press ups had contributed to my problem. Anyhow I went and enjoyed it and stayed
behind for an unexpected cup of tea. It was good to get out and mix with friends and
other members of the group. Those that I know are really positive so I came home
feeling a lot better. I did my juice because I was a little way behind and made lunch
and before I knew it was time to go to Sheffield.
First of all I went to the cancer support group where I had some really relaxing
reflexology which I really needed then I went for my radiotherapy and one of the
radiographers said to me do you think you have hurt you hand on the handlebars?
At the time I wondered if other people had had the same problem. When I have
radiotherapy I put my arms above my head which are also supported behind me.
They are crossed over and in this position they are kept steady by holding onto a
couple of handlebars to keep me still. I had noticed a couple of times that there were
pressure marks and a little lasting discomfort but not really a problem at all.
Perhaps the pressure had affected something in my hand or maybe a combination of
that and my new Pilates exercise. was not really that worried about it - it’s just a
strange feeling not being able to feel the back of my hand I notice it mostly when I
rub the towel to dry them – very odd. However in the evening when Tam asked how
my hand was I said I think the feeling is coming back a bit but my tongue is actually
causing me more of a problem because I think that because it is swollen it is rubbing
against my teeth. In the evening after we ate dinner I started packing ready for the
last day of radiotherapy and going straight to Ilkley for the EFT Gathering.
29th January 2010
Gradually my hand and my tongue began to feel much better perhaps the exercise of
typing this is helping. I could not believe that I had come to the end of three weeks
of radiotherapy so quickly. This morning I received an email from Dr Kate James to
say that she was going to be a guest speaker at the gathering we were going to.
Apparently someone had dropped out and Gwyneth (the organiser) had asked her to
present to the group. Kate sent me the handout she had quickly prepared as she
had very little notice to do this. She also reassured me that our work and the fact
that I had been to her was strictly confidential. I told her that I was happy for her to
talk about anything that we had done together.
As we neared Ilkley we received a phone call about Kate’s presentation from
Gwyneth and she asked if we would like to go to dinner with her, Kate, Michael,
Kate’s husband and Mary Thomas an experienced EFT practitioner and professional
photographer who often takes photographs during EFT conferences and gatherings.
We arrived there just in time to put our cases in our room and be in the restaurant in
time. We met Sue, Emma and Tania on the way to our seats. Had lovely meal and
enjoyed meeting Michael, Kate’s husband for the first time.
30th January 2010
Dr. Kate James was on as the first speaker at the EFT Gathering at Ilkley. She did
exceedingly well with a few questions from Gwyneth. Then, I was given the
opportunity to say a little about my contact and support received from Kate. I found
myself feeling emotional as I described to the audience how amazed and grateful I
was to have had the support of Kate following my breast surgery right up until now.
Throughout the rest of the next 3 days Kate was inundated with others making
contact with her.
31st January 2010
In the evening we ate in the hotel and there were a few others there two, Gwyneth
with a colleague and the James’s family. They decided to book in for the night as it
was getting late and it would be easier to travel in the morning.
Completion of my hospital treatment
On the 29th January I had completed my cancer treatment. There were follow-ups of
bone scan results and various checks. I feel so happy and grateful to have received
the care that I have. I still continue to enjoy the chlorophyll rich diet and advice given
to me by Kate including the best supplements and vitamins for me.
After the completion of my radiotherapy I excluded my diary entries as I thought that
they may be of little interest to those who are on our cancer support workshop. Here
I have started again because I am leading up to my next visit to Kate’s. This part also
illustrates that I am now taking on increasing work commitments. There have been
many times when I needed to do some tapping or I found it was occasionally difficult
to follow my healthy eating routine. However I feel that this is not unusual after
completing cancer treatment.
I believe that when the focus of the cancer treatment is not so dominant and day to
day life goes on often in similar ways as before. However, in view of what has
happened it is not surprising to be triggered by certain things. I noticed that I felt
more aware of my body than I was before cancer. Whenever this made me
concerned I would listen to logic or a professional opinion like Tam’s or Kate’s and
then I would treat those understandable fears when they surfaced. However, I
continued to maintain my green juice, supplements and vitamins. As well as yoga,
Qui Gong and breath work although practically less time is spent on this due to other
practical commitments.
The diary picks up here towards the end of February.
18th – 24th February 2010
This week Tam and I were fitting in clients to coincide with the arrival of a couple
from Germany on the 18th in the evening. Whilst I was with my last client in the
evening the German clients rang to say that they had arrived and to arrange to come
at 10.00 on the 19th. The week went really well although somewhat busy with them
and other clients. In a way it was a test to my energy and concentration levels.
When they left on the day that we travelled to see Kate in Northumberland Tam and I
both felt a sense of wellbeing for what we had been able to accomplish together.
This week is probably the first week that I have returned to the level of work that I
was doing during leading up to breast surgery.
After lunch Tam & I travelled up to stay in Linden Hall during the time I was visiting
Kate to discussed phase two of my support and treatment from her.
25th February 2010
I was really looking forward to visiting Kate again and to catch up with what had been
happening from my time with her on the 3rd and 4th of December. In just under three
months we have certainly come a long way. This development in many respects has
been in such areas as confidence and self expression. In practical personal care it
has been in producing my health and life giving green juice as well as the warming
and nourishing soups wonderful ways with vegetables and pulses that Kate had
encouraged me to prepare for myself. It has been a steep learning curve and a
surprisingly positive one.
I now no longer drink coffee and “builders” tea and it really doesn’t appeal to me at
all. I was used to drinking a bottle of beer a night during the week and two bottles on
Saturday’s and Sunday’s. In fact, after surgery even before I visited Kate I found
alcohol didn’t taste at all good. At first I thought that it might have been something to
do with the anaesthetic. Now it’s almost like my body is giving me more healthy
messages. If we go out for a meal I will have some wine or once or twice a week I
may fancy a beer but otherwise I enjoy hot water with lemon or herb teas and barley
cup or dandelion coffee.
Throughout these three months I have been supported by Tam, my daughters, Kate,
as well as many special friends and colleagues. I cannot believe how many cards,
emails and Reiki healings I have received with open arms. There are also a few
clients and neighbours who know about my journey through cancer. Each and every
person has been a positive inspiration to me. Very early on when I told one client
what was happening to me I was inspired when she said “That’s going to be a walk
in the park for you Mair”. Her words have often rung in my ears since then at just the
right moment to uplift and inspire me. Thank you everyone for your outpouring of
love and care which I have received and it has been so sweet to me.
This second phase with Kate included looking at my diet, supplements and some
time to learn Chi Gong. Kate showed me a number examples of Chi Gong which I
might use which would cover some of the yoga and breath work more effectively.
She also gave me a DVD created by Andy James of Canada. Apparently her tutor
was a trainee of Andy’s that’s how she came across his work.
One of the most important aspects of our day together was the benefit of Kate being
a medical doctor. She was able to reassure me regarding the tightness of my breath
related to a common problem of tightness in my diaphragm. In addition to this she
reassured me about another physical problem which had been coming up in my
mind from time to time. Talking to a medical doctor and doing EFT on my
understandable anxiety helped me to let these niggling anxieties go. Just seeing her
about this without all the other benefits was more than worthwhile.
At the end of the day with further guidance about the next phase of what I was doing
was a great ending to a very successful time with Kate’s support, love and care. On
Friday the next day we arranged to get together to plan and put together the running
list and other practical matters for the first of our “Cancer Support Workshops”.
26th February 2010
When we arrived at Kate’s, Linda had already arrived for our meeting together half
an hour before us. We soon settled down to think of the best way forward to plan for
the May Cancer Support Workshop. We had had quite a lot of email contact
regarding what we felt was an important part of supporting those who would be
attending our course.
It was quite amazing just how easily the morning flowed with each of us contributing
in our own really unique and special way. It was like we all had a part to fill which
was already assigned to us.
I believe that our get together went really smoothly because we felt truly in alignment.
When we left one another and Tam & I were on the way home I thought how truly
wonderful it was to be on our way home with very positive plans in place. We broke
our journey home and stayed overnight in Washington, when the snow arrived again
threatening to disrupt our journey we relaxed in our hotel.
27th February 2010
The next morning the snow had stopped and our journey route was clear. During
breakfast at the hotel we had a lot to talk about and we left pretty soon after this. We
found that travelling was easy on the Saturday and we continued to have ideas and
insights about what we had been doing so far with Kate and Linda. They were
working together in Kate’s home on a two day workshop which surrounded nutritional
support and suggestions for some of Linda’s weight loss clients from some of her
previous courses.
28th February 2010
On the Sunday Tam worked tirelessly to put in place practical administrative plans so
that what we had talked about doing together could be supported by an on going and
efficient system. Then, throughout the following weeks he continued to keep things
moving to make what we wanted to do in May run as smoothly as possible.
I went all the way through Andy James’s Chi Gong DVD. Doing this helped to
consolidate what Kate and I had done together at the end of last Thursday’s day. I
was surprised just how energetic it was and at the end it felt like I had had a real
workout.
1st March 2010 and beyond
During this week there were a number of new and already existing clients to support.
Interestingly enough some of the new ones rang to say they were unable to come. I
often notice things like this happen to create just the right amount for me to do at any
one time. Having a little more time enabled me to proof read some of the things that
Tam was putting together for the Cancer Support Workshop.
I began to put together my own emotional journey through cancer and beyond for
those who will be attending our course in May. I feel that my job in this workshop is
to support Kate in the work that she does so beautifully as well as to share my
experience of supporting clients with cancer and more recently now myself.
I discovered that during the time when I needed to be focused whilst I was having
treatment that I had a job to do and I knew what I needed do. However on
completion of my conventional treatment although I continued to prepare and enjoy
foods, vitamins and supplements to support myself there was not the same clarity of
knowing what I needed to do as before. When fears surfaced, I continued to use
EFT, TAT and many other methods to support myself. It was almost like, following
the shock of what had happened my subconscious was on edge and looking for
signs of a problem elsewhere.
I have noticed this sometimes happens with clients. Fortunately we now have many
ways to help ourselves. My clients say they frequently relax and listen to the CD’s
that we created together. Many discover that EFT is a wonderful friend to melt
anxieties and bring in joy. At other times they have rung me and we have done
some tapping there and then. Every client is different in the way that they react and
cope with whatever is happening. Each and everyone of us needs support, self help
techniques, self support, nurture, understanding and love every step of the way.
Connecting to the essence of who we really are body mind and spirit is invaluable
and brings peace and happiness.
At the end of my emotional journey through cancer I have included a few of the
resources and references that I have found to be helpful in my journey. You will
receive your own guidance from your inner wisdom to help others or yourself in the
best possible way for you.
REFERENCES & RESOURCES
VARIOUS THERAPIES
Be Set Free Fast (BSFF)
BSFF is a highly focused Energy Therapy method for eliminating the emotional roots
and self-limiting belief systems that are embedded in the subconscious mind, and
which automatically determine and control most of our experience, self-expression
and behaviour. These unresolved negative emotions and beliefs create and maintain
psychological and physical symptoms, which automatically result in mental,
emotional, physical, energetic spiritual and life adjustment problems, including many
medical, and health problems. BSFF eliminates these subconscious programs
quickly and gently. BE SET FREE FAST℠ is a descriptive acronym for "Behavioural
& Emotional Symptom Elimination Training For Resolving Excess Emotion: Fear,
Anger, Sadness & Trauma."
For more information and products on Dr Larry Nims the developer of BSFF visit his
website :www.BeSetFreeFast.com
Emotional Freedom Techniques
EFT is a powerful new discovery that combines two well established sciences so you
can benefit from both at the same time:
1. Mind Body Medicine
2. Acupuncture (without needles).
In essence, EFT is an emotional version of acupuncture wherein we stimulate certain
meridian points by tapping on them with our fingertips. This addresses a new cause
for emotional issues (unbalanced energy meridians). Properly done, this frequently
reduces the therapeutic process from months or years down to hours or minutes.
And, since emotional stress can contribute to pain, disease and physical ailments,
we often find that EFT provides astonishing physical relief.
For more information & free manual visit the website at :www.emofree.com
Simple Energy Techniques (SET)
SET is a collection of simple and user-friendly energy techniques, which can provide
significant relief for a wide range of emotional problems, and some physical
problems. Although the techniques are simple to use, the results of using them can
be quite profound. The relevant website is at :http://www.eftdownunder.com/SET.html
Tapas Accupuncture Technique (TAT)
TAT is an easy way to dissolve stress, limiting beliefs, and negativity. You can use
TAT to get over stuff without judgment, analysis, or reliving anything. The process is
a combination of the TAT Pose (touching acupressure points on the head) while
putting attention on the Steps of TAT (a set of freeing and empowering intentions). It
was developed by Tapas Fleming.
You can download details of the steps from her site or buy DVD’s to increase your
understanding of the technique. After Tapas was diagnosed with cancer she created
a DVD sharing what she did which helped her recovery. This DVD is entitled
“Healing the Emotional Aspects of Cancer” and can be obtained from Tapas
Flemings site :www.UnstressForSuccess.com
USEFUL BOOKS
BAYS, BRANDON – “The Journey” Pub. Element
Brandon’s book shares her journey with cancer. It is very inspiring and doing “the
Journey” work with a practitioner is life changing
HAMILTON, DAVID R. – “How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body” Pub. Hay House
In David’s insightful book he gives many imagery examples and also discusses
walking meditation
LLEWELLYN-EDWARDS, TAM – “Meditation Manual for Energy Therapists” Pub.
Lulu for Llewellyn Consultancy
This little book is packed with suggestions including sonic meditation, walking
meditation and much more
PLANT, PROFESSOR JANE - “Your Life in Your Hands” – Pub. Virgin Books
Jane gives the reader lots of help which she discovered herself as she worked
through her experience with cancer
ROBERTS, EMMA – “Even Though I Have Cancer” – Pub. The EFT Centre, 4
Nicosia Road, London SW18 3RN
Emma displays a tremendous wealth of experience in writing this book. I found the
EFT examples in it really helpful
RESOURCES
Hypnotherapy
Mair Llewellyn individually creates CD’s for her clients to use for Mind Body Healing.
For details visit her website :www.TickhillClinic.com or email her at MairLLLL@aol.com
Inner Talk – Supply subliminal CD’s and offer three free for cancer patients and
practitioners. They are entitled – Cancer Remission, Forgiving and Letting Go and
Loss of a Loved One. For more details visit their website :www.vitalia-health.co.uk
For information regarding growing ‘Sprouters’ use the book :FOWLER, DEBORAH–“Sprouting a guide to the Ultimate Super-food” – Pub Truran
‘Sprouter’ seeds can be purchased from :LIVING FOODS – The Nutrition Centre – www.sproutingseeds.co.uk