Dear baby
My name is Lucy Symons. I was asked by your mummy and your daddy to be their
birth doula. I met with them a few times to talk about how they wanted to welcome
you into the world, and it was me who was lucky enough to be there on the day that
you were born.
On the day before you were born, mummy went out with some other mummy friends
for lunch. None of them had had their babies yet and they told mummy that they all
thought she was going to give birth first. Mummy said she laughed! Little did she
know that later that day you would decide it was time to come and meet us all. That
evening, mummy and daddy were watching a dvd they had rented called The Island.
Mummy told me that she was laughing and suddenly she heard a “pop” noise. She
asked daddy if he had heard it and he said it must be some children outside playing.
But mummy knew that it was her waters going, meaning that you were on your way!
Mummy telephoned me at 10:22pm to tell me, and I said she should let the hospital
know what had happened at some stage, but as her water was clear there was no
reason to do anything immediately. I said that probably you would be on your way
soon. Mummy said that she thought she would finish watching the film before she
telephoned the hospital or had a bath. At about midnight, daddy phoned to let me
know that mummy was starting to feel some contractions and that they were quite
regular, but far apart. He said he would keep me posted. I went to sleep.
At 2am, daddy phoned again and asked me if I could come to be with him and
mummy as mummy was definitely in labour, getting ready to have you. I said I
would be there in an hour, but before I had reached mummy and daddy’s home, daddy
phoned again and said that mummy wanted to go straight to the hospital and have a
bath there. I met them at the Hospital.
It was a very quiet night. It was cold and crisp and the streets were empty as I drove
to the hospital to meet you. I found mummy and daddy in the Water Lily room at just
before 3am. The big pool was being filled with hot water, and daddy was topping it
up with cold water using a bowl. I took over helping him so he could go and move
the car and asked for the lights to be turned down. Mummy was doing very well,
quietly labouring with you, waiting to go into the water. Finally we finished filling
the pool and made sure it was a perfect temperature. Sarah and Andrea were the
midwives and they said mummy could get into the water. Mummy said, “This is
insane…” and the Sarah asked her what she was referring to: the water being poured
from the sink to the tub in bowls? “No,” said mummy firmly, “Labour is insane…”
We helped mummy into the water at 3:45am and she sat down and said it was really
lovely to be enveloped in the warm water. Mummy asked if she could have a
Caesarian section then. She said she had changed her mind and decided that it would
be better if we revisited the idea of a surgical birth. We laughed as she was joking.
Mummy managed to be funny for your whole labour, although she did say a very rude
word to daddy at one point, when she was working very hard to get you out.
Mummy was having quite strong contractions. With every contraction, she closed her
eyes and made moaning, grunting noises. I talked to her quietly to help her relax.
Daddy gave her sips of her juice when she needed them. Mummy was in the semi
darkness, with the pool being kept at the right temperature by daddy and me and
sometimes Sarah would come in and check to make sure she could hear your heart
beat. Sometimes you were hiding! Mummy would have to shift and wobble until
Sarah found you. “Come on baby,” mummy would say, “Where are you?”
At 5:30 in the morning Sarah brought in a big machine called a resuscitaire because
she thought you may be born soon and she wanted to be ready if you made a sudden
appearance. Sarah told us all to make sure that we could get mummy out of the pool
when it was time for you to be born. We laughed and made a little bed on the floor
with a mattress and a sheet for mummy to kneel on when she came out of the pool.
Daddy tripped over it.
At 6:10, Sarah checked your heart rate and said it was 70 beats per minute and had
risen by 20 beats per minute and that meant you may have become worried or upset.
Sarah said she was concerned and thought we should try to get mummy out of the
pool so that Sarah could monitor your heartbeat continuously. Sarah said she would
come back in ten minutes to see how you were. Daddy and I tried to get mummy out
of the pool, but she was quite happy there and didn’t want to move. She also didn’t
want to be monitored continuously as it would have meant lying on her back on the
bed and she liked sitting up and squatting in the warm water. Mummy started to
shiver and said she was cold. I asked her if she would like to get out of the pool and
she said yes. Daddy and I helped mummy get up and put her towel over her shoulders
and were ready to help her get out of the pool. Then mummy said to me: “Would it
be really silly to ask you if you could see a baby coming out?” I smiled and
humoured her by going to the other side of the pool where I saw your head poking
out! Mummy was right! You were really on the way.
I ran into the corridor and found Sarah who had a tray with her breakfast on it. I said
I thought she should come right now. She dropped her tray and ran into the room
with mummy. “Can you get out of the pool?” she asked. Mummy said “Noooo!” and
so Sarah asked me to put a squishy mat into the pool in case you shot out so fast she
couldn’t catch you to make your landing comfy, and daddy held mummy up.
Stephanie, another midwife came in at this point, and the midwives asked mummy to
push. “I can’t”, she said, “it hurts too much!” Sarah asked her again and she said
very firmly: “I don’t want to.” But we all cheered her on and told her how clever she
was and how well she was doing and how shortly you would be born. I told mummy
I could see your head and you had lots of black hair. Sarah said you would be here
any minute, and suddenly there was a woosh! And you were born. Sarah caught you
and asked daddy to tell her what time it was. “6:41!” he said. Sarah passed you to
daddy who held you while mummy cried big tears of joy. When your cord stopped
pulsing the ladies cut it and clamped it. Daddy wrapped you in a blanket and took off
his shirt and then he sat on a chair, cuddling you next to his skin. You felt so at home,
you pooed on him.
We managed to help mummy get out of the pool then. She sat on the bed and we
waited until her placenta came out. Daddy told mummy you had ten fingers and ten
toes. She held you and you tried to breast feed. She cried more tears of joy, and
daddy was so proud of her and told her how clever she was. I told her that she was an
inspiration as she had done so well. Stephanie started to get a bit bossy. “I don’t like
her.” Mummy mouthed over her shoulder. Daddy and I asked Sarah if she could stay
just a little bit longer to help mummy deliver the placenta as we all liked her and she
agreed. Stephanie was a bit cross. It was decided that mummy had to have an
injection! Mummy hates having injections! Sarah asked her to lie down with her leg
straight and wiggle her toes. I whispered to mummy to think of somewhere really
lovely that she had been with daddy. Maybe a place they had travelled to together.
At 7:40am Sarah gave mummy the big injection and mummy said she was sorry for
making a fuss. She said that giving birth to you was easier than having the injection!
At 7:50 Stephanie weighed you. You weighed 6lbs 4oz or 2.840 Kgs. You had a
31.5 cm head. She gave you a vitamin K injection and you didn’t even scream. I put
a nappy on you and found a vest and a babygro in mummy’s bag and put a blue hat on
your head. Daddy held you and I had a cuddle and then we gave you back to
mummy.
Stephanie asked mummy if she would like tea and toast. Daddy said he would like
some too, and at 8:30 Stephanie brought us a tray full of breakfast that we enjoyed
together before I went home. Mummy told us that right after she had delivered you,
she thought to herself: “That wasn’t so bad! I’d do that again!” Mummy and daddy
and you were all cuddled up on the bed when I left them, very happy and laughing
together. You were a beautiful baby, very alert and aware and so chatty we could
hardly believe it! Daddy said you were telling us all about what it had been like being
in mummy’s tummy for nine months. It was a wonderful birth, your mummy was so
brave and your daddy did everything he could to help. I hope that you know how
much your mummy and daddy love each other and you and did from the moment they
set their eyes on you. It was a privilege to have been there with them, to see them
work so well together, and one I will never forget. (I have just made myself cry rereading this! It really was a birth to remember.)
Lucy Symons, 2006