Pillar #9
A friend asked me a great question some time ago. He said, “What are some of the emergency brakes in your life, which if released, would bring you to a whole new potential for Christ?” There are both external and internal brakes. External brakes are things such as lack of funds, not being on an effective team, or not being equipped with the skills needed to be effective. But inner brakes are internal things, like emotional baggage, lies we believe, and idols that limit and enslave us.
We all have a personal history, but it is the negative feelings and responses we have about the past that we call emotional baggage. These need attention so we can move ahead in our lives and go on to maturity in Christ.
This is a hard topic to tackle in a few pages. We are basically only opening the subject here. But it is vital. We have observed the effect of unresolved past issues both in our own lives and in the lives of others. Just a couple of thoughts as we launch into this:
1) Working through issues of the past is a process that we come back to through various stages of our life’s journey and the seasons of our life.
2) All of us deal with areas of dysfunction (we’re human!). In times of stress we tend to revert to coping mechanisms we picked up as children.
3) We need to be alert as to when it is appropriate to refer people to professionals for a type of help we are not equipped to provide for them.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but must be lived forward,” observed Soren
Kirkegaard. But our past is not just comprised of negative things. Many things in our past should be remembered as vital and scriptural. Here are a few: (1) the works and miracles of God in our lives, (2) lessons we have learned from past successes and failures, (3) past hero’s, heritage, and events that have shaped our lives, (4) the calling of
God and how He has clarified that calling in our life. All these are positive things in our past, and will continue to shape our lives. These, too, need to be well processed to gain maximum benefit from them. But there is negative baggage in our past as well.
Observations of Past Baggage
1.
We can easily think that the wounds, hurts, pains, and lies of the past will go away over time if we are abiding in Christ. But we would be very wrong. When
Christ made us new creatures, some things changed right away. In other ways we are still in process, not yet finished products. We are all walking with a limp, as God is working in us until the day of His coming (Philippians 1:6). Before
Christ entered our life, we were enslaved by an enemy; the scars and wounds of those days are forgiven, but often still need to be healed. We also have the past effects of the sins of our fathers, and the present endemic sins of our broken and fallen culture, to which we are often blinded because it is so interwoven into our cultural worldview. Our present identity often flows from our family of origin and our past experiences. Unpacking people’s backpacks, with all the emotional past, burdens, and lies in it is a necessary journey. Unlocking the past, bringing it into the light, then letting it go, by forgiveness and healing is essential.

2. We all have shrapnel from our past that needs to be identified, dealt with, and
healed. There are land mines from our personal history that are ready to explode
when triggered by stress or memories. As we look in our rearview mirror, we
see a lot of things that have not been deleted which have become the default
mode of our life, our inadequate coping mechanisms. There are things about our
past that we want to disappear, some buried so deeply in our subconscious that
we don’t even know they exist. Our psychological perspective on our past
determines to a great extent our present personal health and vitality.
3.
In our culture people are often coming out of broken families and lives. Their
life foundation needs to be repaired and re-laid. We cannot move directly from
conversion to Christ right into discipleship, mentoring and growth. There is an
important interim stage that needs to be cared for first. And sometimes it will be
a slow process. We must first deal with broken areas in their life foundation,
before we can go on to concentrating on building and developing character.
4.
Alternatives in dealing with past baggage:
- Bury the past - deny, neglect it or just stuff it. If we take this, we get stuck in
the past, and are continually tripping over it as a victim, not living free.
- Acknowledge it, but step around it, never dealing with it. In this way we will
never learn from it, but drag it behind us or carry it into every life experience
and relationship.
- Redeem the past, turning our emotional baggage into opportunities for growth
and effectiveness. Reflect on it, so as to understand the past and seek resolu-
tion and healing. In this healthy way, we will learn and grow from it and find
new power in our walk with God and others.
Some past items that need to be identified and healed:
1.
Lies we believe, which enslave us.
2.
Legalism and guilt…so many “do not’s” or “I must’s”… issues that bind us.
3.
Vows we have made to ourselves or others that control us.
4.
Curses placed on us by other people.
5.
Generational sins of our fathers that are still holding us in bondage.
6.
Idols that we turn to for significance, self worth, and security.
7.
Endemic sins in the very fabric of our culture and life, to which we are often blind.
8.
Abuse – emotional, verbal, physical and sexual.
9.
Unhealed hurts, resentments and bitterness.
10.
Unresolved grief, loss, memories, repressed fears and angers.
11.
Dreams that seemed so real and prophetic that we still think about them.
12.
Internal messages people have communicated to us, like sarcasm that went deep into our lives and hurt us, and which we now subconsciously believe.
13.
Unresolved guilt for which we continually condemn ourselves.
14.
Unresolved relationships that have not been reconciled

What happens if past emotional baggage is not properly resolved and forgiven?
- Somewhere inside, an undetected emotional cancer may be growing, or a miniature
volcano of buried anger may be smoldering. We may be harboring a toxic waste
dump that is slowly poisoning us and spilling out in the way we relate to ourselves,
to other people and to God. As time goes by, we may reap depression and/or
burnout, experience shattered hopes, and soured relationships. We may end up
defensive, critical and repulsive rather than winsome and fresh in our old age.
- Dysfunction from the past that is not dealt with and healed prevents people from
moving on to maturity. If we try to bury the agony of the past, we end up dragging
it as a heavy load through all of our future. In Christ we have been freed, but
unresolved issues hold us captive. We are not living in the freedom He won for us.
- Our leadership style will be greatly affected by emotional baggage not dealt with,
causing us to unconsciously react to our baggage in the way we lead others. We will
leave negative residue of hurt or bitterness in the people to whom we minister. For
example, if we have grown up in an alcoholic family, our desire to control our hurts
will cause us to lean towards controlling people under our leadership. If our sense
of acceptance from our parents came through performance, that will easily cause us
to accept others based on their performance as well. If we have been hurt by the way
people have treated us through their leadership style, we will react against that hurt
by modeling imbalance in our leadership.
How do we redeem the past and help others to do the same?
We cannot change or relive the past, but we can redeem it and learn from it. The perception and feelings we hold of our history affect our present life journey.
Timothy, Paul’s faithful companion, had an interesting family of origin. He grew up with a Greek father and a believing mother and grandmother. These women created a faith environment in Timothy’s home. What Timothy’s relationship was with his father we do not know. But it appears that his family and culture of origin affected his life, shaping him and preparing him for his future ministry. Scripture says he was timid, shy, fearful in his leadership, and had stomach problems as a result. But his emotional baggage became a positive ingredient in his shaping by God for His purposes. He redeemed these negatives and moved past them with God’s help into the future.
So often the issues we deal with can be the very things God is using in our development if they are dealt with well. Spending time with our past, coming to terms with it and putting it in perspective is different than wallowing in it and using it as an excuse or a justification. These are not wasted issues unless we do not deal with them in a mature way. They often become the very tools God uses to mold us.
Helping Others Disarm and Dismantling Land Mines of the Past
1.
Explore with them the issues of their family and culture of origin. Many times the emotional baggage and lies they hold come from their family of origin or heritage. Example – It is said a boy is never really a man until his father tells

them he is. If a father has never verbally shared that with his son, he will always try to prove himself to his father. Explore questions like, “Tell me about your father…and what was your home environment like?” While not all baggage comes from the home itself – other life experiences enter in – often the way the experience was handled or ignored in the home becomes the problem.
2.
Discover with them formative life experiences – Include wilderness or hidden times, failures and successes, times of suffering and prosperity, pivotal negative and positive learning experiences, and the lessons from the mentors in their life.
3. Help them ferret out their view of God – Our view of God is a window into our
life and will affect the way we think and act. Is God an enforcer of rules, a
law keeper or a grace giver? Is He more pleased by performance or does He
delight in, and love them regardless of what they do? Do they see themselves
as God sees them, or is their self-view dependent on others or self-perception?
Do they see themselves as one whom God delights in, is pleased with and loves?
4. Help uncover any generational sins that are binding them - What lies do they
hold about life, God, or themselves? What vows have they made to God, others
or themselves? What are some pervading sins of their family?
With these four areas in mind:
A. Let them explore their own emotional baggage, by sharing their life story and values of their family in full with you. Just listen with no interruptions.
B. Later, seek for understanding by questions about their story. “Would I be
allowed to know…?” “How did you feel about what happened?”
C. Help them pin-point their emotional baggage and the deeper root causes.
“If your psychological baggage were traveling on the airport conveyer belt when
you return from a flight, what would it look like? Would it be scuffed, tightly
locked up, or very hidden? How would you describe it?” The answer to this
question may help reveal feelings about their past.
D. Help them discern and label their negative feelings, emotions and lies so that
forgiveness and healing can occur.
We all have in some way been scarred by the past. But some people experience deeper scars and brokenness that must be dealt with. If they are to move on to maturity, they must deliberately explore what they feel, and why they feel the way they do about their history. This act of simply identifying and labeling their emotions serves as an amazing springboard to personal growth, self insight, and maturity.
The need for a healing community is vital, where people can safely reveal and confess things from their darkness, and find healing from those around them. We all have that same need to identify, process, and reveal ourselves to appropriate people and experience forgiveness. May we be graceful mentors, who listen, provide safety and help people lovingly unpack their pasts. We then can help them move to maturity.
Jim and Bev