The Grinch Who Stole Purim
By Michael Grossman with apologies to Dr. Seuss
ADAPTED AND STAGED BY THE BRiKTY PLAYERS FOR PURIM 5763!
NARRATOR 1: Every Jew down in Jew-ville, liked Purim a lot....
But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Jew-ville… Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Purim! The whole Purim season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there Erev Purim, hating the Jews,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Jew down in Jew-ville below
Was busy now, making Shalach Manos for tomorrow.
GRINCH:
And they're prepping their costumes, I snarl with a sneer.
Tomorrow is Purim! It's practically here!
I will growl, with my Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
ARGH… I MUST find a way to stop Purim from coming!
... All the Jew girls and boys,
will go hear the Megillah, and they'd make lots of noise!
Every time they hear Haman, they'd take out their toys!
And then! Oh the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
NARRATOR 2: That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
And the wonder time had by the girls and the boys.
Then the Jews, young and old, would do something quite neat
They would eat Hamentashen and all other treats,
It would be quite a sticky good carnival feast.
Which is something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
Every Jew down in Jew-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Graggers so proud
And parade in their costumes. OY what a crowd!
They'd dance and they'd sing!
And play games, toss a ring.
A carnival where so much laughter would peal.
The more the Grinch thought…
GRINCH:
WHY, I must stop this whole deal!
Heck, for two thousand years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop this Purim from coming!
.... But HOW?"
[PAUSES, SMIRKS, GLOATS]
"I know just what to do!"
NARRATOR 1:
The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Haman hat and a coat.
And he chuckled and clucked,
GRINCH:
What a great Grinchy scam!
With this coat and this hat, I look just like the man!
NARRATOR 2: All the Jews were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little house on the square.
This is stop number one, the old Grinchy Haman hissed
and he climbed through the window, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the room, and he took every present!
The shalach manos for friends, and the gifts for the poor,
Into the bags and then out through the door.
Then he slunk to the fridge, and he took the Jews' feast!
He took the hamentashen Oy what a beast!
He cleaned out the fridge as quick as hot smoke
Why that Grinch even took their last can of COKE!
NARRATOR 1: And he started to go and make off with the loot,
When he heard a small sound like a small owl hoot.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Jew!
Little Cindy-Lou Jew, who was not more than two.
The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Jew daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said,
Cindy Lou Jew:
…Haman, why,
Why are you taking our Purim stuff? Why?"
With the holiday Purim just one day away.
All the stuff that your taking will ruin the day!
In the great Social Hall there will be a great party
People will dance and will sing and laugh O-so hardy
GRINCH:
Why, my sweet little tot," [TURN TO AUDIENCE] I’ll lie if I must
The hamentashen are all under baked and covered with dust!
So, I'm taking them home to my kitchen, my dear.
I'll fix them right up and bring them back here.
NARRATOR 2 And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when Cindy-Lou Jew went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the door and went out and locked up.
THEN
He did the same thing
To the other Jews' houses
Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Jews' mouses!
He packed up all their presents! The hamentashen! The treats!
The shalach manos! The matanot l'evyonim and the feast!
GRINCH:
"Pooh-Pooh to the Jews!"
NARRATOR 1 He was grinch-ish-ly humming.
GRINCH:
They're finding out now that no Purim is coming!
They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the Jews down in Jew-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"
And that is a noise, that I simply MUST hear!
NARRATOR 1 So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Jew-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Jew down in Jew-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without hamentaschen at all!
He HADN'T stopped Purim from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
GRINCH:
I’m wondering and puzzling: "How could it be so?
"It came without hamentashen! It came without treats!
It came without shalach manos or even a feast!"
Maybe Purim, perhaps, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Purim . . . perhaps . . . means a little bit more!
NARRATOR 2 And what happened then . . . ?
Well . . . in Jew-ville they say
That the Grinch did T'shuva
And davened that day!
And that minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the presents and the hamentashen and treats!
And he...
HE HIMSELF . . . !
[BIG PAUSE] [NARRATORS STAND WITH CINDY LOU AND GRINCH IN A
LINE]
NARRATOR 2 The Grinch hosted the feast.
[BOW TO WILD APPLAUSE]