NEWSLETTER 5/2003 - DECEMBER
TO YOU ALL
I hope that as many of us as possible will be able to attend our coming
year’s re-union, both so as to enjoy ourselves and particularly to show our
admiration and support for our successors in the armed forces who are more
stretched and more operationally involved than at any time since WW II,
As we look around the world today, it is difficult not to be worried about the sort of world in
which our children or grand-children will find themselves as we move on towards the middle of this
new century. To say that we live now at a time of great change, driven by the globalism which follows
developments in science and technology, is a ‘blinding glimpse of the obvious’ – but we should
remember that it is also something that has also often been said in the past. Not all change, however, is
for the good. Perhaps we would benefit from a few more people paying heed to the wisdom of the old
adage “If it ‘aint broke, don’t fix it”!
At such a time of rapid change, I believe it more important than ever that we hold on to certain
core values more strongly than ever. This is not the ‘evil forces of conservatism’, it is a fundamental
for stability. I find it helpful in interpreting what this means to remember the last verse of a WW II
naval song which some of you may know about the sinking of HMS Hood. The final verse goes:“Sweethearts and wives and mothers be proud,
Though your lads lie below with the sea for a shroud,
They were fighting for freedom, let’s never forget,
For us to be British as British we’re yet’
The’re sleeping in heavenly peace, sleeping in heavenly peace”
The spirit of Christmas is though the spirit of hope. In this spirit, I wish you all
“A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year”
Admiral Sir Jim
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From our Chairman, S/M George Toomey
Shipmates,
Just in case there isn't another newsletter this year I am taking this chance to wish you all a very happy
Xmas and New Year. How time flies by. It won't be long before April is upon us with the next
reunion at Eastbourne and the pleasure for me this time will be in not being "the car park attendant",
which I have been for the last 4 years. We have to get someone to take over this task, wither from the
Association or by hire. We will see. It will cost, hence the Friday night raffle will go towards the
cost of making certain the car park is not taken over by local shoppers. So it is down to members to
come forward.
With Xmas not long in coming so I'd like to make a plea about Xmas cards. Shipmates, when you
send out Xmas cards to other shipmates please put your surname in with your card. Many contact me
as they can't recall you by your first name. Last year I had 12 cards like this to which I could not
reply, so don't forget.
As I've said before I am in contact with the hotel concerning improvements to the hotel. The main
item on my list is the air conditioning system in the dining room and I'm in contact with the Manager to
ensure that the system for 2004 is in working order. Peter Harrison and I will be going to the hotel in
the new year to ensure that this has been done and I will come back to you with an update before the
reunion. Other problems have also been sorted out including the purchase of a 2-way radio so that
there will be contact between the start of the parade and the saluting base.
I look forward to meeting you all again next year. My thanks to the members of our organising group
who do so much for the Association during the year.
Take care.
George
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MEMBERSHIP MATTERS
OBITUARIES
S/M A.V. (Vic) Hiscock
We said our farewells to Vic at Bournemouth Crematorium on 23rd October 2003 together with a
large number of his friends and family.
Vic, a survivor of the sinking of HMS Cossack (L03), joined the Association when it was first
founded and for many years had been a member of the committee which helped organise the
reunions.
He gave us a bit of a scare at the last reunion when he had a heart attack just after the dinner,
having only a few days before been discharged from hospital following a number of minor attacks.
However, he seemed to recover well and was soon discharged home. He died peacefully in the
evening on Saturday 11th October having enjoyed a lovely sunny day pottering in the garden.
Brian Hibbert bore the Association’s Standard for the service, and our White Ensign covered the
coffin. Freddie Bath and his son Mick, Peter and Betty Day, Alan and Jean Edinborough, Peter
and Sheila Marchant and Peter and Margaret Harrison attended.
Our condolences were given to Vic’s widow Betty and to the other members of his family.
Shipmate F.G (Fred) Andrews
In the October newsletter it was reported that, following a stroke, Fred had moved into the Star &
Garter Home at Richmond and was settling in well. However, Fred died on 24th October
following a massive stroke.
Fred joined the R.N. on 13th July 1942 as an Ordinary Telegraphist and after training joined HMS
Eland in which he was rated Telegraphist and then A/Ldg. Tel. This was followed by a spell in
HMS Franklin before he was drafted to HMS Cossack (D57) in August 1945. In March 1946
Fred returned home to HMS Pembroke from where he was released from his H.O. engagement.
Before joining the Navy Fred had worked on the railways and it was to this he returned on
completion of his war service. He remained working for British Rail for the rest of his working
life, making his way upward in management during that time.
The funeral service took place on Friday 31st October at Putney Vale Crematorium and ,among
the many mourners from his friends and family, Peter and Margaret Harrison attended to represent
the Association. The Association’s White Ensign covered the coffin for the journey by road and
during the service.
Our condolences were passed to Fred’s widow Kath and her family.
Shipmate Eddie Dove
Eddie Dove, who was a long serving member of the Association died on Wednesday 3rd
December 2003 as a result of a severe stroke.
Unfortunately Eddie never sent in his service details so we know very little about his time in the
Navy. He joined Cossack (L03) in 1938 as an Ordinary Seaman and was with her through all her
exploits, the Altmark Incident, the 2nd Battle of Narvik, the Bismarck chase and the Malta
convoys and was a survivor from the sinking in October 1941.
The funeral will take place near Nottingham on 12th December and Shipmate George Bye will
represent the Association. Our condolences have been given to Eddie’s son Peter, who many of
you will remember from our reunions.
MAY THEY REST IN PEACE
An obituary was published in the Daily Telegraph on November 25th for Rear Admiral Jan
Aylen who died on November 5th. As a Commander (E) he served in HMS Cossack (D57) as Flotilla
Engineer Officer from November 1946 until September 1948 but unfortunately we never had him as a
member.
In the early days of WWII he served as Engineer Officer of the destroyer Kelvin which was
involved in the evacuation of Crete in 1941. He was awarded the DSC for his gallantry and skill
during the 2nd Battle of Sirte in 1942. Towards the end of the war he volunteered for the 30th Assault
Unit, scruffy, undisciplined team of sailors and marines formed to infiltrate Germany. It was made up
of journalists, German-speaking schoolmasters, explosives experts and locksmiths (some recently
released from jail) under the direction of intelligence officer Commander Ian Fleming, RNVR. The
task of 30 AU was to precede the advance following the Normandy landings, seizing weapons, material
and documents before they could be destroyed. The unit was very successful and Lt.Cdr. Aylen was
appointed OBE.
As a Captain he served as Home Fleet Engineering Officer and as Captain of the RN
Engineering College at Manadon, Plymouth. His last appointment was as Admiral Superintendent at
Rosyth Dockyard, the first non-seaman to hold the appointment. He was appointed CB on his
retirement.
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New Members
We are happy to welcome the following new members:
S/M N.J. Parker
Able Seaman
L03
1940 - 1941
Mr. J. Parker
Associate Member
Son of S/M N.J. Parker
Ms. S.H. Grimes Associate Member
Daughter of the late P.O. H. Gilham
Mrs. Betty Hiscock
Associate Member
Widow of S/M Vic Hiscock
Mrs. Kath Andrews
Associate Member
Widow of S/M Fred Andrews
Total membership now stands at 281 made up as follows:
Full Members
Associate Members
Honorary Members
190 (25 L03, 163 D57)
87
6
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Other matters
At this special time of the year we would ask you to give a thought to those who are seriously ill and
won’t be enjoying themselves as we will. Two more of our members who have been having a bad
time lately are Lieutenant Commander W.W. Dennis and Shipmate Jack Race.
Warner Dennis, who was First Lieutenant in D57 during the 1947-49 is currently in hospital seriously
ill with stomach cancer. At this time we don’t know the prognosis but George Toomey is keeping in
touch.
Jack Race, a Signalman in D57 from 1946 to 1948 had an operation for bowel cancer in May and then
a triple heart by-pass operation in July. In addition Jack’s wife Madge is in the early stages of
Alzheimers.
We who are well just don't know how lucky we are. Our thoughts and prayers go out to them.
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Reunion 2004
Several members have phoned to say that the dates for next year’s reunion now clash with another
function that they wished to attend. The date was changed to those now booked with the hotel, ie 23rd
- 25th April 2004, because the earlier date of 2nd - 4th would have clashed for a number of members.
It is obvious that we will never be able to pick a date which would be perfect for everyone. After the
2004 reunion it is intended to revert to the first weekend in April each subsequent year and no changes
will be accepted.
Booking forms for Reunion 2004 are enclosed with this newsletter. That for the hotel should be sent
direct to the Burlington. The other, the Payment Form, need not be sent in yet but when it is should be
sent to the Secretary (cheques being made payable to HMS Cossack Association).
The format for the reunion is expected to be the same as for previous years. Friday for settling in and
getting to know each other, setting up, etc. Saturday morning will be the time for the Annual General
Meeting during which we hope to have an update from C.P.O. Smithies from HMS RALEIGH about
the Cossack Building which was moved there on the closure of HMS CAMBRIDGE. Saturday
evening will of course be our main event, the Reunion Dinner. Sunday morning will be our usual
Church Parade with the march back to the hotel along the promenade.
More details will be given in the next newsletter after the meeting of our organising group in January/
February.
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Can you help?
We often get requests from sons, daughters, grandchildren, nephews and nieces asking whether we can
tell them about their relative who served in HMS Cossack. Unfortunately we usually don’t have any
other information than the years that they served in the ship, and then only if they were actually
members of the Association. And what about their other service in the R.N. ? Quite often even their
own children were never told what their father did during the war, or his service in the R.N. That’s one
of the reasons why we have asked members to send us copies of their service certificate.
Unfortunately, we are still waiting for the majority of members to do so. Thank you to the 30 odd who
have.
A case in point was Emma Mitchell, the grand-daughter of Trevor Tipping, DSM who served in L03
from 1938 until May 1940 after the 2nd Battle of Narvik. She sent us an e-mail. She said, “My
grandfather was very quiet about his activities during the war and since I was very young I never fully
understood what his generation went through. I would love to try to find out something about his time
in the Navy and maybe try and find some of the people he experienced these things with. I feel now
he has gone I have a greater need to understand what he did”. He evidently very rarely spoke of his
wartime service and, when he died, his first wife’s family took all his naval items. Fortunately Trevor
wrote down his experiences of his time in Cossack for us several years ago and a copy has been sent to
Emma. However, it doesn’t help with the rest of his naval service.
Emma’s experience is not unusual. Please - talk to your children/grandchildren, tell them what you
did and where you went. Why not write it down (and send us a copy). Your family are proud of you
but when you’ve gone who will know about what you did?
If any of our few remaining L03 members remember Trevor Tipping and would like to share any
memories with Emma, please let Peter Harrison know.
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You have helped
In the last newsletter we included a request from Mrs. Sybil Lord for anyone who remembered Coder
Arthur Leslie Proctor who died when L03 was sunk in 1941. Great success with this. Mrs. Lillie
Warden, the widow of S/M Tom Warden who was the SBA in L03, wrote to say that she remembered
Leslie Proctor very well. He was a great friend of Tom’s and Leslie had visited them at their home.
She had also met Sybil and Lillie and Tom had visited her and Leslie’s parents after the sinking.
They have now been put in touch again.
____________________
In the May newsletter we asked for help in trying to establish the number of the house in Maltravers
Road, Littlehampton where Lt. Cdr. Bradwell Turner had lived. You may remember that it the
intention to have a Blue Plaque affixed to the house.
Our inquiries through the Association of Royal Navy Officers led to contact with Lt. Cdr. Turner’s
daughter and the number of the house was found. However, Keith Batchelor now reports that the
house has now been demolished! The possibility of putting the plaque on a nearby post is now being
examined.
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A duck goes into a bar and asks "Do you have any fish? The barman replies, "This is a bar
and we don't sell fish", so the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any fish". The barman grabs the duck
and screams, "I told you yesterday, this is a bar and we don't sell fish. If you ask again, I'll nail
your feet to the floor".
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The barman sighs and
says, "No, we do not have any nails". The duck says, "Good, do you have any fish"?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Photo of
Vic Durey
(see ‘REUNIONS’
page)
A PART OF A LIFE
1935 - 1947
by Victor John Bunyan Durey
continued
CHAPTER FOUR
Mid-June arrived and I spent ten days in the Big Smoke at home on Foreign Draft Leave. Once more I
was on my travels. The new Tribal Class Destroyers were coming out of the shipyards and were being
"crewed up". I found myself mounting the gangway of the COSSACK carrying kit-bag and hammock.
She was due to join the Med Fleet and once again I was to see the inland sea. She was to be "my home
and works" for the next six months. After various shake-up trials we set off for the Straits. The
Tribals (we were the third I believe) were quite heavily armed compared with the average destroyer
then in service, carrying four twin turrets of the 4.7", plus torpedo tubes a'plenty. She was a nice
friendly new ship and the time I spent on her was pleasant. I found that aboard her (in her!) I was to be
the no. 4 of one of the twin 4.7". Except for a practice shoot or two, I hardly saw the gun. My duties
aboard were numerous and equally as interesting as each other. Attached to the Bos'n's Party on being
made up to Able Seaman in September '38, I learnt many a trick or two!
We visited places that I had not seen in BARHAM - Marseilles and Istanbul to name but two. The
visit to the French port was to be remembered for years afterwards. I believe that my love of the Med
was sealed during that visit.
I could have found it easy to become a beachcomber, if not a Lotus
Eater! At the Bosphorus port I was part of a detachment of matelots to march through the town with
fixed bayonets at the slope. What it was all about I know not. At a local football ground we
swaggered up and down, supposedly marching, and for a spell giving our Gunner's Mate a heart attack!
We had been earmarked as a modern piece of Brit. Navy to show the flag in various ports of the Black
Sea and we may well have floated around the Danube for a time, but unfortunately, that part of the
cruise was cancelled and we had to tear off to Alexandria. Musso was at it or summat!. At Malta
during my COSSACK days I got to know the place. Our "trot" was in Sliema Creek and we were but
a pennyworth of Diesah" (Dghajsa) ride from shore, usually landing on the steps that led up to the
"Cairo" bar. A grand and popular first and last bar!). Sadly, it is no longer there, as are not hundreds
of others throughout the island, as we were to note in '82-'83 on holidays! No fleet, no jacks, no jacks,
no bars! Such is life. Another favourite haunt (and this is still there) was the Hole in the Wall, which
was only a short walk from Sliema Front. A “Garry" (Karri), the local horse-drawn taxi, would soon
whip you into Floriana or Valletta if really bright light living was needed. I like to think that my shore
training was assisting my training afloat to build me up to become a defender of the union flag! I was
also for a temporary period to join the Salvation Anny, not to bang cymbals or such like, but to simply
dodge Sunday Church services. Two of us, "Jonesy-boy" and myself, used to be allowed ashore,
providing we were in harbour, on Sunday mornings for two hours. And the Cairo never closed its
doors! We quaffed Blue Tops. Dai Jones was my oppo on the COSSACK. My hammock dhobeying
partner. We charged a tanner a throw for scrubbing other blokes' hammocks and for a time we also
used to repair boots and shoes. Proper snobs! He was a Larry Adler in the making, and such was
Jonesy's ability on the mouth organ that he was called upon to give us a tune on the upper deck as we
ploughed our way across the pond.
The sun always seemed to shine on the COSSACK.
There were times when we would anchor at
Marsaxlokk and so we saw the south end of the island. Duty called for Able Seaman Durey. He was
to take passage via P & O liner to the UK. It was December '38. War clouds were gathering and
Whale Island called! I was to join other young Able Seamen who were taking passage back to Home
Waters in the British India Steamship Modassa (a part of the P & O line). We expected to take a
gunnery course at Whale Island in Pompey, for what was then the old Seaman Gunner Rate. However,
buzzes had it that the system was changed and there were now new rates in the Gunnery Division Quarters (Q), Layers (L) and Anti-Aircraft (A). In ten days or so we would know our fate. Meanwhile,
let us enjoy our cruise home on the Modassa!
She was a cargo liner, and had one class only for passengers! This suited us very salubriously and to be
waited on at meal tables was a dream. Three splendid meals each day, plus an elevenses cup of
whatsyourfancy and a pot of Rosie Lee at around 4 p.m. We luxuriated. The duty free drinks at the bar
were much appreciated and, fortunately, I was able to indulge somewhat due to the fact that I had a few
shekels saved from my lower deck dhobey and snobbing (cobbler) business. Jonesy had found a new
partner and I had flogged my cobbler's tools and materials to him for a few quid. We called in to both
Marseilles and Gibraltar during the trip to unload cargo and to pick up passengers. At Marseilles we
picked up one old codger dressed in a hunting jacket, padded shoulders, wearing a battered Harris
tweed hat and carrying a shooting stick.
Months previously I had been sternsheetman of the
BARHAM's motor boat that had landed this geezer on a deserted beach somewhere up the Adriatic!
(It was during the morning watch.). Never saw hide nor hair of the bloke during the rest of the voyage
to Tilbury.
It was during the lazy days of Modassa that I learned to love Solo Whist and I became an addict. This
grand old game was to figure quite large in my war days on watch and waiting for the blare of the
Action Klaxons that caused the heart to beat like the Flying Scot's engines! We steamed into the
Thames Estuary early one December day. We "RN passengers" watched the river flow as we clawed
our way upstream to Tilbury. It was icily cold. January was but a day or so away. The winter of '38'39 was a coldy one. We docked. We travelled up to Waterloo and here joined the "Pompey Special".
Following a few days leave granted by R.N.B, we were off to the most renowned Gunnery School in
the world - Whale Island. I was being "fatted up" to become an L.R.3 ! Thank heavens it would not
be Quarters Ratings - I never could stand those 15" guns! And so into HMS EXCELLENT.
CHAPTER FIVE
It was the 21st day of January 1939 when I started almost a three month spell of "running". One only
walked on the island during non-working hours. At all other times everything was done at the double.
1939 was to be a year of destiny and, for some friends on the same course as me, it was to be the last of
their lives.
Because it was so strict during the hours of work, the beauty of the island stemmed from it being the
most generous place out of hours. "Bull", then, was out. The messes were the finest of any shore base
and the canteen and relax areas a delight. Hammerton's Nut Brown Ale, in quart bottles, was a great
tonic. What a pity one cannot find it today! Snooker tables were used for skittles and the libraries were
first class. The food was never stodgy, although Saturday routine still consisted of "bully and rice". Our
course for gun layers proved interesting and even the hours spent on the infamous parade ground were
to prove none too daunting. HMS EXCELLENT had a most renowned football team that could give
some of the local pro clubs a keelhauling! A good soccer star could find himself there for life!
We were expected to do duties other than the training schedule, plus our normal messing operations.
Whale Island was noted for its zoo. Several animals and birds had been brought back over the years in
ships returning from foreign stations. I well remember the polar bear, a massive and proud-looking
animal, pacing up and down its cage down by the parade ground. I also remember the night that the
monkeys died due to the cold. It was the night sentries' duty to make sure that the monkey house boiler
was kept topped up and all "sir garnet". One of our class during his morning watch had forgotten to
carry out this task and for the rest of our course we were known as the "Monkey Disposers". I duly
qualified L.R.3 with a good 81% pass mark and left the Excellent to return to R.N.B. (HMS
VICTORY) to await my fate. The month was March 1939. This was to be a move from one Stone
Frigate to another. Among half a dozen other A.B's plus a Killick (Leading Seaman), I left VICTORY
for the short trip across the harbour by Gosport Ferry, followed by a couple of miles journeying by
lorry to the RAF base at Lee on Solent. At Lee, we matelots were to be the forerunners of a mass of
"bell bottoms", but that was in the future. We were kitted out with what can only be regarded as the
lower four feet of a diver's suit, complete with diver's ton-weight boots! We were to be called
"waders" and were attached to a fleet air arm squadron (which I seem to remember to have been 285).
Our work consisted of wading down into the Solent when the Swordfish planes landed and floated up
to the slipway. Here we hooked them on to a wire that led up to a winch after we had placed a
"wheeler" underneath the plane. It was quite interesting and we had a fine old time holding up the
traffic using the roadway at the top of the slipway.
Lee on Solent was a south coast holiday resort and during the summer of' ‘39, it was quite busily
coping with visitors. Jolly Jack was in his element with the young femme fatales spending time there.
We sailors (all nine of us) were none too pleased to be messing with the RAF. They, like the "Brown
Jobs", used tin cups and plates whereas the RN were china users. There were other drawbacks
(queuing for grub being another), and the first time we heard "Any complaints?" from a young duty
Flying Officer, our Killick replied, "Yes! Where's the figgy duff?"
On the 24th May 1939 HMS DAEDALUS was born. The RN took over from the RAF. Erks left,
tarpots came. We "waders" waddled on. A recalled Lieutenant Commander took over the Squadron.
His name was Erskine. A nice gentleman who had spent years in civvy street (he was RNVR) and did a
fine job training the first Petty Officer pilots ever to appear in the Andrew. A few years later this little
fellow was to earn the VC losing his life attacking the German battlewagons during the infamous move
up through the Channel. By now, Their Lordships up in the Big Smoke decided that they had better do
something about the Reserve Fleet. "Let's have a review at Spithead in July.
Fill the boats up with Reservists and bring a few young tearaways aboard the oldy ships!" Thus, I
joined the EMERALD at Chatham where she had been in reserve. The ship commissioned with RNRs,
plus a cotchell of regulars, were to work up for a couple of weeks before joining the rest of the Reserve
Fleet at Portland, to be reviewed by King George VI at the end of it. Our Captain was Gus Agar VC.
Our Admiral was Max Horton, flying his flag in EFFINGHAM. The rest of the fleet was
COURAGEOUS (an aircraft carrier), PEGASUS (a seaplane carrier), the minelaying cruiser
ADVENTURE, two E class cruisers, seven D class cruisers and four flotillas of destroyers - a motley
crowd of age and experience. Destroyers of those days had problems keeping up with the Es when they
really piled it on. I recollect that the horse power of these "non-armoured" cruisers was in the region of
45000. But that's enough of the "stoker" news. EMERALD and her sister were easily recognised
because they had a third funnel abaft the mainmast. Very unusual. She sported seven six-inch B.L.
guns as main armament, plus a couple of tubes of deck-mounted torpedoes. To this, and to keep
unfriendly aircraft away, we carried two 4" H.A. guns plus two ancient 0.5" quads. She was becoming
an old lady of the sea and her twenty-first birthday was celebrated during my time aboard. That time
was to form three of the finest years of my life. Gus Agar was to describe our crew as "a very mixed
grill of pensioners, reservists, RNVR and RNR, ratings, boys and others". As Drake put it: "Everyone
must pull together on the rope, the Mariners to haul and draw with the Gentlemen and the Gentlemen
with the Mariners." (We - the "famous five" - were either described by our Captain as ratings or others.
It mattered not - she had a grand crew.)
After the Review, we sailed with the rest of the rag-tag and bobtail to Scapa Flow. (In passing, and
leaving Portland, I would like to pen here a truth. During a run ashore in Weymouth, we ratings
happened to come upon a park. On the gate of the park was a "gill sans" sign stating "Dogs and sailors
not admitted"! (Dogs were thus superior to sailors?) It was, of course, peacetime and I often wondered
how long that sign existed during war.) On the way to Scapa we worked up with the fleet (reserve but
handy) before joining up with the rest of the Home Fleet in the northern port. This was late August the fleet had been mobilised and the world held its breath. At least we did. Sailing from Scapa we
headed north to take up our patrol line between the Faroes and Iceland. We were part of the northern
patrol and our war toil was to blockade and intercept merchant vessels taking goods to Germany. On
September 3rd, the war telegram arrived and Agar cleared lower deck and read it to us all. The fog was
a trifle frosty as I remember and although we had expected conflict, it still came as a shock. We began
to suspect U-Boats at the lurk every time we glanced over the side and mines in their thousands waiting
to bang a few of our plates away from the keel. I believe that the majority of Britishers on land, sea or
wherever grew up this day. One of the parts of Gus Agar's speech to us has always remained with me.
It was as follows. "If I was to be asked what constitutes courage, I would reply “Courage is the strength
used to overcome fear"'. There spoke a '14 -'18 VC holder. We immediately went to Defence Stations
and that Sunday afternoon started sending ships into Kirkwall in the Orkneys to be searched thoroughly
for goods en route to Hitler's Midden. On our way up to the Flow, the Chief Gunner's Mate had
visited our messdeck to inquire if any one of us had typing experience and, although I am always loath
to volunteer for any old thing, I politely inquired, "Why, Chief?" “Cos I'm looking fer a G.L's writer”,
said the "chatty chats" G.I. "I can do that standing on my nut", said I. So there and then I became the
Gunnery Lieutenant's Writer. A blue card job! This meant no detested harbour duties and, providing
our bosses never required us (which they seldom ever did), we could go ashore each and every day
when leave was granted. I got the job and settled down to punch our mistakes on a typewriter using two
of my digits! There was never overmuch typing in the Gunnery Office and, if a real tiddley effort was
required, I used to nip along to the Ships Office and wheedle one of the ship's writers to perform the
necessary. This job also carried a 3d a day increase in Mazuma and one and nine pence per week would
buy an extra five or six pints!
I had my watches to keep at sea, of course, and my action stations. For the latter, I was "trainer" of no.2
gun - the 6" "cracker blower" that loafed alongside the leading edge of the Bridge. This was also to be
my Defence Station, which meant by and large that half of the ship's company was closed up for half
the day in four hour watches. “Four on and four off” was energy consuming because we still had our
ship's duties to perform when we were not on watch. Sleep could thus be a problem and one could after
a while fall asleep standing up! Not much good for a lookout or suchlike. There was no radar about
then. "Cruising Stations" was thus designed and this took the form of three watches (Red, White and
Blue) as opposed to the two watch system (Port and Starboard). In harbour we always reverted to the
Port and Starboard which were in two parts - 1st Port, 2nd Port etc - and this allowed three parts of the
ship to cop a shore leave, leaving the duties to the unlucky 25%. Because of my GLW duties which
meant I had a pencil and a rubber and was part of the twosome that formed the Watch and Quarter Bill
(the other geezer was the Chief GI, I arranged for my four oppos all to be in the same watch. Thus we
could always run ashore together. They were all 1st of Port and Red Watch for cruising. My station for
cruising was Director Layer for the two six-inch guns that were manned. I was furious about being
stuck up the mast in the Control Tower, because it meant that if "Action" sounded, I had to hare down
to No. 2 gun after being relieved by one of the two Gunners (Warrant Officers) that the ship carried.
The two other D/Ls for cruising were one of the PO Gunner's Mates and a PO (Captain of the
Forecastle) who was an LR1 and also the trainer of the Director at Action Stations. When I took up the
matter with my Lieutenant boss, he said. "You had the best results at Whale Island in Directors." After
a couple of weeks this Lieutenant (who was beginning to sus me as a "writer") left to take up a job on a
battlewagon after sewing on another half stripe. He was relieved by Lieutenant John de George
Lament, who thought I was first class and knew the job backwards. (I soon did by the way.)
Northern patrol was very onerous, tho' we used to nip into Kirkwall a couple of times and so saw
civilisation. Nice people - a nice fishing town. I remember lovely fresh Griddle cakes, all warm and
buttered. We were to spend nearly three months in those near Arctic waters and when the December
seas began to make the endless patrol uncomfortable for us "lowboard" cruisers, we were relieved by
an armed merchant cruiser, the RAWALPINDI. She could well have been a sister ship of Modassa.
RAWALPINDI was sunk by SCHARNHORST when the Jerry broke through into the Atlantic later.
We were attacked by a U-Boat once on patrol near Reykjavik, but all to no avail. We survived and
Jerry, providing he kept his head down, was safe from us because we had no depth charges. And so
with the weather in the Atlantic worsening we received orders to proceed to Plymouth at utmost speed
with ENTERPRISE. Here at Plymouth we were all issued with tropical clothing, a sure sign that we
were going nowhere near the tropics. And that proved to be the case. Because of our speed the two
E’s were to start shifting loot from the UK. Highly secret and 'hush hush' at the time. But all grist to
the whatsit now. For the first time I was to discover how heavy gold is! We were due to move a
considerable amount of the shiny stuff together with stocks, bonds and other trinkets. Moving out the
readies from the Bank of England to Fort Knox or somesuch place via Halifax, Nova Scotia. Halifax
was to be our destination and we sped across the Atlantic. The people of this outpost of Empire made
us very, very welcome. We were to use Halifax quite often during this so called "phoney" part of the
war. Believe me, it was never a phoney war to the RN. We convoyed ships back to the UK and
returned at least once again with gold and other securities. We were to do this for months. The first
Christmas of the war we spent dashing southwards in the Atlantic for some purpose unknown to us
ratings and were pulled up with a round turn and two half hitches by the biggest wave I have ever seen!
Red Watch was closed up and we, on No. 2 gun above the forecastle, saw the "roller" approach. No. l
gun on the forecastle level was completely cut off by salt water and we followed. We on No.2 gun
deck were under the sea! Water gushed down the voice pipes on the Bridge to the darker regions of the
ship. The klaxons klunked "Action" to clear the lower decks as we shuddered to a practical halt! A
memorable day in a memorable sea. Our speed had a lot to do with the thumping we took. All were
happy when we laid course on to a more pleasant route. We were always wet and cold on the North
Atlantic convoys and life was not really pleasant One slung his hammock, took off seaboots and
climbed inboard to kip for a couple of hours before once again touching water-sloshed decks below the
'mick with stockinged feet. This was agonising on a slow convoy back to UK. Three weeks or more
without a strip down. I could never remember signing a contract to take part in all this back in 1935!
("Roll on my 12").
I make no apologies for adding these words taken from "Footprints in the Sea" by Captain Gus Agar
VC:
"Space will not allow me to mention the many episodes and incidents which occurred during my period
in EMERALD with the Halifax convoys. There were so many of them during those anxious and hard
winter months in the Atlantic which have sometimes been referred to as the period of the "phoney
war". Added to our responsibilities of guarding these large and valuable convoys across the Atlantic
with the ever prevalent risks of attack from the German battlecruisers, pocket battleships and HIPPER,
all of whom had passed through the area, our constant anxiety was for the men. Admiral Holland and
others in the Admiralty realised how unsuitable the C, D and E class cruisers were for Atlantic weather.
We had low freeboard and no turrets so there was no protection against the weather for the sailors who
day and night in bitter cold and storm had to stand by their guns wet to the skin. This went on
sometimes for nineteen days on end without a stop. Fortunately good teamwork in the ship and a sense
of humour brought us through."
Despite all our moans and groans, we were still able to have a laugh. EMERALD was canteen messing,
thank heavens. Ar least we could choose our own nosh to bring up if so decreed at any time!
Mustering one's bag on the messdeck was quite a regular occurrence. We had after a few months or so
picked up our first H.O (Hostilities Only) ratings and all regulars were expected to help these "civvies"
to find their feet. I was even browned off by the powers that be to take Seamanship classes and to
instruct bank clerks, postmen, labourers, etc how to form a "bowline on the bight" and other seemingly
strange customs to them. (It was a sad day when they called up "the civvies".) All came under the call
up hammer - crooks, wife beaters, sadists, you name it - all were called. EMERALD was lucky because
life on the messdecks soon makes the presence of a "skate" known and the regular dabtoe had his own
way of dealing with them. Gus Agar had left us and Paddy Flynn took over as our original Commander
had also left us. A great gentleman (retired RN) from the country who had been recalled in July '39.
This was Foggarty Fegan, who picked up his fourth stripe, and who took over the Armed Merchant
Cruiser JERVIS BAY in Halifax . Lovely fellow that he was, he was to lose his life fighting a Jerry
Battlecruiser as he defended the convoy under his care. He received the posthumous award of the VC.
We soldiered on for months back and forward across the Atlantic with little respite. The Halifax locals
were great people and fitted us out with Arctic weather wear - wool lined caps with ear muffs, "long
johns" and beautiful woollen scarves and socks. Halifax became a second home to us Emeraldites.
Lovely people all. We were to carry out several fast convoy duties over the coming months. At one
stage we escorted a couple of fast Liners across the Big Pond loaded with Canadian troops, some of
these doubtless to lose their lives during the Dieppe landings. Halifax with its shops full of goodies and
no blackouts was to us a paradise. We "roustabouts" made good use of our time ashore and with one
family - the Knights were proper "at homers". Mr. Knight, a leading citizen, was the owner of an ice
cream parlour and he, his wife and his son (17 years old) at times took us out on trips around Nova
Scotia. We thus saw Chocolate Lake both frozen and with sunny warmth at different season times.
Often I wonder about the Knights and what the future held for them, especially the lad. Becoming
honorary "Elks" (Bogey Knights' Club) gave us status.
During one convoy run we had to visit Bermuda to pick up a few ships and this enabled us to tread the
soil of this pearl of islands. Hamilton was a great place and appreciated by us tarpots.
During the fall of France we were kept busy in the Channel keeping off (or hoping to) any Jerry attacks
from the beaches of Dunkirk and we were based at Plymouth between convoys. We lay out in the
Sound and every so often would move out into the Channel to patrol and carry out escort duties. Once
we received the "'urry up and go" signal and moved out "toot suite" with a couple of old V and W class
destroyers. German destroyers were reported leaving Brest and approaching the UK. We duly sighted
them after an hour or so and Paddy Flynn was then to signal to our destroyers "Chase". The Germans
had turned on seeing a fast cruiser and were running back to Brest before our 6" guns found the range.
"Chase" had not been flag signalled since the days of one eye Horatio and we made the headlines next
day in the local press. Unable to shorten the range despite our speed - the old Vs and Ws were
struggling - Flynn called up the local RAF base to send a couple of planes to try to pull up the Huns
and give us a chance to grapple. A couple of Blenheims duly arrived and proceeded to bomb
EMERALD! Nice ship spotters! We sent a couple of 4" HA shells and one 6" up to give 'em a scary,
'cos our pants were already scared off us! In those fraught days with France out of it the Jerry was
using all sorts of captured war gear and the Blenheims could have been part of the loot. They were not,
of course. The German destroyers were able to make good their escape as we dodged the RAF bombs.
It was all part of the game, I guess.
Our Captain of the Gun - the breech worker - was a P.O. Gale ("Windy" Gale) and P.T.I (Physical
Training Instructor) and at one time during the action we could see this black'orrer falling out of the
blue sky towards us. "Shove in Bunyan!". I was under the shield of the gun petrifyingly following the
Director Trainer's pointer. "If that cowson hits us its goodbye Pitt Street!" (Note: Pitt Street was the
home of the PTI’s School).
We returned to the Sound and soon the "Liberty Lighter" was picking up libertymen for a couple of
hours shore leave only, mails and suchlike. Another evening when dark, we sloped across the channel
towards occupied Normandy and fired a few salvoes of 6" starshell for lighting up purposes to allow
one of our old 15" Monitors to have a go at Cherbourg or somesuch. We were kept reasonably busy
and even laying at our buoy on one fine sunny afternoon we were dive-bombed by a wandering Stuka
and at that time I was manning a Lewis Gun on the Quarter Deck that our quarters' department had
mounted on an iron pole! It worked OK when fired level and a Lewis has a number two bloke who
feeds the string of bullets into the side of the breech. My number two was a marvelous old dabtoe who
had spent the last decade in civvy street and when I tentatively pointed the Lewis at the diving plane,
the gun jammed. "Stripey" said, "I'm orf Vic" and dived for cover under the shield of No. 7, 6"! I
followed. The plane's bullets chopped tops off the waters of the Sound and his bomb missed by about
two miles! Methinks the pilot was as scared as us and all he wanted to do was to pull out of his dive.
These were the early months of the war and it was before we were fitted out with a couple of Oerlikons
and degaussing gear. The latter was fitted to keep the nasty magnetic mine at bay.
We were to take a refit in Southampton because Pompey dockyard was busy - the winter's toll of poor
old EMERALD was showing badly. That first Christmas day of the war had left our decks buckled and
badly strained. I can best describe that day by searching notes I made from Agar's memoirs. "I have
read in sea story books of the barometer dropping through the bottom of the glass and the wind
howling thro' the shrouds." Both really happened on that Xmas Day. Our barograph showed what now
must be a museum piece in the Meteorological Office. Our boats were stoved in and a wooden
superstructure that was built and used by Somalis in the peace-time commissions in the East Indies was
swept overboard as were our boats and rafts which were deck-stored. Months after, we were at
Southampton and could really view the damage. Our repairs were to take longer than they had
estimated, but we of the first of Port never grumbled about that. Southampton docks had an easier
routine for the RN than Pompey and we five scallywags made the most of the "freedom of So'ton".
I will now name my four mates. Jackie Forbes was a most likeable and lovely fellow from Bishop
Auckland and my closest confidante. Lionel (Jimmy) James was a Portsmouth laddie who sparkled
with ready wit. (He was to leave us a couple of years into the commission and his fmal whereabouts I
know not! Jackie Forbes survived the war and I last saw him at Eastney in '47.) John (Maxie)
MacClean was a Southsea matelot whose Ma and Pa looked after Trix and me in later years grandly.
Charlie Jacobs was a Scot from Edinburgh, a "Willie Hall" of soccer, and Trix and I put him up for a
week in 1947 during one of his leaves. This was in Vanbrugh Park Road West. Charlie soldiered on in
the Andrew and hopefully lives today. Last, but by no means least, Jack McKie was a Sunderland
Geordie and one of the finest blokes to have as a raggy". Alas, he was shifted to a destroyer which
was short of a gunlayer and he was lost at sea when the ship was sunk. This was early '41 and we other
four were shattered on receiving the news. I will close the Atlantic part of our war in EMERALD with
the news that once we spent eighteen days with a slow convoy and Agar reported that it was the
longest, dreariest and most anxious time he had ever experienced at sea. One of our quickest crossings
was to escort the single ship EMPRESS OF AUSTRALIA carrying a contingent of Canadian troops to
occupy Iceland. Thus, we saw (and ponged) the harbour of Reykjavik, the city of cod!
The refit that we had undergone at Southampton included an extra length of deck that carried over the
waist. This was to give us extra protection from the North Atlantic weather. It also supplied us with
extra "dry space". A blessing for Atlantic convoy duties. Alas, with a chuckle and a merry glint in
their eyes, the Lord High Admirals stated, "Send EMERALD to the Far East. The extra cover will
make 'em sweat a bit!" Thus, we set off with various bits and bobs of merchant ships heading
southwards.
To be continued in the next newsletter
____________________________________________________________________
Weird things are happening with our services these days. To those of us who served in the Royal
Navy the continued reduction of the fleet at the same time as it is being called upon to carry out more
and more duties seems particularly perverse. A recent report in a national newspaper says that the EU
flag will have to be flown alongside the White Ensign on fishery protection ships, which are to have
EU inspectors aboard!
The following, taken from the No. 6 Area RNA magazine was sent in by Kath Andrews who wanted to
know whether there was any truth in it. As you will see, mention is made of it being an extract from
“HMS GANGES Notice Board”. Since GANGES closed down some time ago why has it only just
surfaced? Anything is possible but can any member throw any further light on its origins?
Welwyn Garden City
"WHITE ENSIGN TO BE REPLACED"
EXTRACT FROM H.M.S. GANGES NOTICE BOARD
Pull up a bollard and listen to this. The Royal Navy has decided to ditch one of its most
hallowed traditions. If gunners Saatchi and Saatchi of HMS Brand Image get their shots in
sure and fast, the White Ensign will soon be blasted from the masts of every gallant British
warship. The crew of the Soho ad agency is being paid £100,000 to redesign the Navy's
flag. It is enough to turn the rest of us into retired rear admirals firing off angry broadsides to
broadsheets.
The White Ensign first fluttered from the masts of Royal Navy ships in 1801. From 1864, it
was the one true flag of the British fleet, formerly divided into three squadrons which flew
white, red and blue ensigns.
The White Ensign is not just universally recognised - flying the four corners of the world in
waves of war and peace, in successive tides of trade, empire and Commonwealth - it is also a
crisp, handsome and all but timeless design. It needs changing like the Ark Royal needs a
16-inch shell hole below the gunwhales.
Good enough for Nelson, Fisher and Jellicoe, but not for today's navy. Saatchi and Saatchi
says that the old flag has not been doing enough to put across the full range of the RN's
modern capabilities. The Senior Service feels it is not well enough regarded by those
landlubbers in civvy street. The new design is to have a blue rather than a white backdrop
and "more of a 3-D effect". A hologram, perhaps, depicting historic action off Trafalgar? A
winking, digital message to the effect that New Britain plc expects every Jack and Jill tar to
do their duty?
A flag that doubles up as a fluttering billboard: "Sail Royal Navy to
Gravesend for front-line shopping at Bluewater"?
"The Navy's problem", says David Hillman, of Pentagram, and one of Britain's leading
graphics designers, "is unlikely to have much to do with its marque. If it has a problem it will
be one to do with its internal organisation or the way it conveys its image across the board.
Or even that people don't want to fight in foreign wars. London Transport has gone up and
up and then down and down in the public estimation over the decades, but its logo was, is
and always will be one of the best. It's not the logo that's needed to change."
Hillman
laughed when he heard the Navy's news. So, too, did Jan Morris, the travel writer and
author of Fisher's Face, a rollicking love letter to Admiral Jacky Fisher and the Royal Navy in
its imperial heyday.
"It's not just ridiculous", says Morris, "it's a downright impertinence. I hope that sounds oldfashioned. The White Ensign's a flag that's filled us with pride for generations. It's not a
modern business logo and it shouldn't be one." But this is what it might become, hoping to
drag potential recruits from the nation's shopping malls and TV screens. This is one design
idea that surely deserves to sink.
J G Phillips, W.G. City RNA
Answers on a postcard to the Secretary.
__________________________________________________________________________________
How to impress a woman: wine her, dine her, hug her, compliment her, smile at her,
laugh with her, cry with her, give her jewellery, buy her flowers, hold her hand, write
love letters to her, and write poetry for her, go to the ends of the earth and back for
her.
How to impress a man: show up naked, bring beer.
Photograph of 3 on the bridge
(SEE ‘REUNIONS’ page)
Recognise anyone in the above photograph? Those of you who served in the 1947/49 commission
may well do. On the right is Captain R. White, DSC**, RN, D57’s skipper from February 1949 until
August 1950. In the centre is Lt. Cdr. J.L. Aldridge but who is that on the left? Answer on the inside
of the back page.
The photograph was sent to us by Christopher White, Captain White’s son.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Memories of the 1953-1955 Commission.
By Nigel Lester
My first association with H.M.S Cossack was in October 1953. I was in Chatham barracks
having just completed my LREMs qualify course. Like so many before me I was summoned
to the drafting office foreign section.
We left the dockyard station on the 11th of November 1953, the train called at Woolwich
where an Army contingent joined us. Eventually we arrived at Southampton. Our transport
was to be me ex White Star liner Georgic, the accommodation by trooping standards was
good, we were accommodated in four berth cabins. We sailed next day at noon, with a
Royal Marine band giving us a rousing send off. I don't remember very much of the voyage, it
was very rough in the Med, stopped briefly at Suez, allowing enough time for the Gilly Gilly
man to come aboard! Our next stop was at Colombo, then Singapore, where we arrived on
the 12th December. We stopped over all day, a large part of the Army contingent left, and
there was time to grant shore leave. We sailed for Hong Kong that night, arriving there on the
17th of December. The only members of the Cossack draft I remember were PO Bryant ad
REM Brown.
As soon as we had tied up to a buoy in the harbour we were taken off by launch to the SSMB
on the Kowloon side of the harbour where the Cossack was moored and ready to sail. I
relieved another LREM by the name of Apps. The change over was swift as I stepped aboard
he left, saying," it's all yours"! Fortunately the CREA, by the name of Jessup was still with
the ship, apart from him and REM Brown we were the only Radio Electrical ratings aboard.
The electrical mess was aft on the port side and we shared the space with a seamen's mess
on the starboard side. The mess was extremely crowded, we could not all get around the
mess table at mealtimes. As to sleeping, my berth was under the mess table on a camp bed!
We sailed immediately for Japan, as soon as we were clear of the harbour, Captain Hopkins
cleared lower deck and told the assembled company that they would be going home in
February and this would be their last chance to buy their "rabbits" before going that.
Christmas was spent in Yokosuka and a few days later we sailed for Singapore calling in at
Kure and Hong Kong.
We eventually arrived at Singapore where me ship was placed in dockyard hands, we all
moved into shore accommodation in H.M.S.Terror, those going home awaited transport back
to the U.K and the new commission joined us. At the same time there was another member of
the flotilla in the dry dock with Cossack. The refit took about 8 months and as it was so
lengthy some of the officers and senior ratings were allowed to have their families with them.
This had an added advantage to some of the unmarried crew in that we were invited to their
homes. I will always remember the kindness of PO Gillam and his wife in inviting myself and
EA4 Forsyth to their home at Johore Barhu. In March I was rated to POREL, I well remember
my first tot of neaters. Also during this time Captain Hopkins was replaced by Captain Argles.
On completion of the refit and sea trials we sailed north to Hong Kong and Japan.
We
carried out various exercises with the Americans, we were much better than the Yanks at
hunting subs! Christmas 1954 was spent in Hong Kong, followed by a self refit. On
completion we once more went to Japan visiting Kure, Yokosuka and Sasebo where
Admiral’s inspection took place. We also visited Pusan, where I had gingivitis,so I well
remember Pusan! More exercises with the Americans calling in at Okinawa.
In April we
returned south, showing the flag at Trengganu where we were kindly entertained by the Ex
Pats. Carrying on to Singapore, at the request of the Army we bombarded a suspected
terrorist outpost.
My last voyage on the Cossack was south into the Timor Sea crossing the line on the 28th of
May, paying due respect to King Neptune. On return to Singapore crews changed, we moved
into H.M.S Terror to await transport home, most flew home but myself and two of my fellow
PO electricians elected to come home by sea. We embarked on the Devonshire on the 25th
of June, calling only at Aden, we spent most of the voyage in the bar, arriving at Liverpool on
the 31st July 1956, Bank holiday Saturday. So ended my 22 month association with H.M.S
Cossack.
I do remember a number of my shipmates, during my time with the Cossack the First
Lieutenant was Lieutenant Commander Lucas, I think the navigating officer was a Lieutenant
Commander Bowden, the Electrical Officer Lieutenant Commander Johns and the
CEO)R)was Richards. The Flotilla Communications Officer who was onboard Cossack was a
Lieutenant Mackintosh. After the long refit the Miscellaneous POs mess was right aft on the
port side.
My shipmates in this mess were, POELs Wilson, Blakely and Parkin, REA
Scholefield, EA Forsyth, OA Speechly, PO Writer Scarlett, PO Cook Craft, and there was
also a shipwright whose name I've forgotten. There may have been a Jack Dusty who I
cannot visualise. People in other messes whom I remember well were CREA Osmer (I later
served with him on another ship), POTel Scudder and PO Chippy Carpenter, Chippy was
sadly killed in a motor cycle accicient shortly after returning to the U.K.
This was all 50 years ago and of all the ships in which I served the Cossack was the one I
most enjoyed.
__________________________________________________________________________
THE PERSONAL TRAINER
Dear Diary.
For my 50th birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal
training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my
high school softball team, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I
called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer I'll call Bruce, who identified
himself as a 26 year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me
to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Monday:
Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well
worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for me. He is
something of a Greek God - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling
white smile. Woo Hoo!! Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines.
He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my
pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic
outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which he conducted his aerobics
class after my workout today. Very inspiring. Bruce was encouraging as I did
my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole
time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC WEEK !!!!!!!
Tuesday:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Bruce made
me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - It's a whole new
life for me.
Wednesday:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the
counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or
stop.I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce was impatient
with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice
is a little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this
nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the
treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would
anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by
elevators? Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He
said some other rubbish too.
Thursday:
Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin,
cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour
late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce took me to work out with
dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He
sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine which I sank.
Friday:
I hate that b*****d Bruce more than any human being has ever hated any
other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic little
cheer- leader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable
pain, I would beat him with it. Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I
don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me
the &*@* #$ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which
I am sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated
magna cum laude from). The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health
and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer,like the
drama coach or the choir director?
Saturday:
Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice
wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to
smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even
use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the
*$@#&& Weather Channel.
Sunday:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and
thank GOD that this week is over.I will also pray that next year my husband
(the B*****D) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a
hysterectomy.
___________________________________________________________________________________
The answer is Lieutenat James Eberle
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aedinborough@o2.co.uk
naughtycal@ns.sympatico.ca
dfenton@rogers.com
liz@foster-hall.freeserve.co.uk
valerie.gaffney@btopenworld.com
egilham@bushinternet.co.uk
alfaye.gordon@tiscali.co.uk
ghaa@statoil.com
stanhannaford@hotmail.com
cossack.assn@tiscali.co.uk
patanda@btinternet.com
Davehelyar@aol.com
jjhennell@bigpond.com
dhiggin8@ford.com
tom@kaybn13.freeserve.co.uk
Alec.Kellaway@ukgateway.net
Gkeyes@btinternet.com
bds.classics@ntlworld.com
Geofflane@tesco.net
alanesewell@hotmail.com
b17luter@ntlworld.com
bisnad@aol.com
peter.bosun@virgin.net
matthewsllb@tinyworld.co.uk
GEMSPEC@FSBDial.co.uk
f-nesvo@online.no
dparkinson@onetel.net.uk
bhp.ports@virgin.net
Ppamelajack@aol.com
racebe@aol.com
bees@premnant.fsnet.co.uk
hripp@hotkey.net.au
donval.rush@virgin.net
kensatt@tinyonline.co.uk
gscarl@aol.com
nshand@zip.com.au
annepsmith@talk21.com
frank.spendelow@tesco.net
carol@snookerdebts.co.uk
jeles@taylor3.evesham.net
f.m.thomas@ntlworld
colin@northgate99.freeserve.co.uk
miketunks@hotmail.com
frank.sheila@fweedon.freeserve.co.uk
Don Whittick
John Williams
dewhit@mail.pacificcoast.net
john@josylanja.freeserve.co.uk
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