Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Prewriting
One way to compare the similarities and differences of your two subjects is to use a
Venn diagram. Use one circle for each subject. In the overlapping part of the circles,
write things the subjects have in common. In the other part of each circle, write the
things that are different about the subjects.
Subject 2
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Subject 1
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UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Drafting and Elaboration
The excerpt below is from the first draft of a student’s comparison-and-contrast essay.
It does not include enough information about the two subjects. Make it clear by
following the Suggestions for Elaboration. You can use information from the Reader’s
Notebook or add your own ideas. Write your paragraph on a separate sheet of paper.
Draft
Malcolm X and Russell Baker were both great men. On the surface, their
lives seem very different from each other. However, they were similar in
some important ways. Russell Baker dealt with tragedy and hardship at a
young age. He had to work quite hard to please his mother. He had to work
hard to achieve success. He eventually did find success in writing. Malcolm X
also dealt with hardships when he was young. He, too, found happiness and
success in writing.
Suggestions for Elaboration
• Think of the main traits of the subjects.
• Write your sentences as clearly as possible.
• Convey enough information, but not too much. Edit out unnecessary information.
• Combine sentences to make them less choppy.
• Always remember the main idea of the essay—the comparison.
READER’S NOTEBOOK
Russell Baker’s father died. ■ Baker’s mother wanted her son to develop
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leadership skills. ■ Baker’s mother felt her son spent too much time in his room
reading. ■ Malcolm X’s father was murdered when Malcolm was a child. ■ His
mother suffered a nervous breakdown. ■ Malcolm’s family had to deal with
racism and the Ku Klux Klan. ■ Both Baker and Malcolm developed their
interest in reading and writing. ■ Baker realized he could make a career of
writing—a career that would even make his mother happy and proud.
■ Malcolm improved his reading and writing skills completely on his own—
when he was in prison. ■ Baker became a Pulitzer Prize-winning author.
■ Malcolm X became a leader of black nationalism and the Nation of Islam.
UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
61
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Peer Response Guide
How well does the draft of your essay explain the similarities and differences
between your two subjects? To find out, ask a friend to read your writing and
answer the following questions:
1. Why do you think I chose to compare these two subjects?
Response:
Suggestions for Revision:
2. Briefly summarize the similarities and differences of the two subjects.
Response:
3. What did you like best about my comparison?
Response:
Suggestions for Revision:
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UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
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Suggestions for Revision:
Peer Response Guide continued
4. What do you want to know more about?
Response:
Suggestions for Revision:
5. What, if anything, was confusing about my comparison?
Response:
Suggestions for Revision:
6. How did my comparison change your understanding of the subjects I compared?
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Response:
Suggestions for Revision:
UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
63
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Revising, Editing, and Proofreading
TARGET SKILL
Using Transitions
As you revise your comparison-and-contrast essay, ask yourself the following questions:
• Have I adequately introduced both subjects being compared?
• Have I used transitional phrases and words to make the comparisons clear?
• Have I used enough examples to support the similarities and differences?
• Have I concluded by explaining the new understanding of this comparison?
Editing and Proofreading
TARGET SKILL
Dangling Modifiers
Use the suggestions given below to revise and proofread the following excerpt
from the rough draft of one student’s essay. Then correct errors in grammar, usage,
mechanics, and spelling using proofreading marks. Finally, copy your corrected draft
onto a separate sheet of paper.
• Be sure it is clear which word is being modified.
• Make sure that sentences are complete and that subjects and verbs agree.
• Be sure transitional words and phrases are adequately and accurately used.
• Check that all words are spelled correctly.
Draft
There are many differences between Malcolm X and Russell Baker. Both
men was born in 1925 and spent there childhoods in the poverty of the
Depression era. Malcolm and his family had to deal with racism and the
Ku Klux Klan. Baker grew up to be a newspaper reporter and a Pulitzer
found his calling as an Islamic minister and a leader of black nationalism.
To find similarities, a closer look is needed.
Applying
Now edit and proofread your own comparison-and-contrast essay. Refer to the
bulleted list above.
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UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
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prize-winning writer. Malcolm X, after spending five years in jail for burglary,
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Strong Student Model
Malcolm X and Russell Baker: Parallel Lives
1. Introduces the two
subjects being
compared
3. Includes differences,
supported with
examples and details
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5. The essay follows a
clear organizational
pattern. The writer first
states the differences
then the similarities.
Another Option:
Describe first one
person, then the other.
7. The conclusion
summarizes and
clarifies the main point
of the comparison. It
helps readers to
understand why the
two are being
compared.
You might assume that the lives of Malcolm X and Russell
Baker have very little in common. However, excerpts from
Growing Up, an autobiography by Russell Baker, and The
Autobiography of Malcom X reveal another side to the story.
If you read closely, you can see that the similarities between
these two men’s lives are more meaningful than the
differences. Understanding the common themes in their lives
will give readers a better understanding of them as individuals.
There are many differences between Malcolm X and
Russell Baker. Although both men were born in 1925 and
spent their childhoods in the poverty of the Depression era,
Malcolm and his family had to deal with racism and the Ku
Klux Klan. Baker grew up to be a newspaper reporter and a
Pulitzer Prize-winning writer. Malcolm X, after spending five
years in jail for burglary, found his calling as an Islamic minister
and a leader of black nationalism. These are the most obvious
differences between the men’s lives. To find similarities, you
must look more deeply.
One similarity stems from the fact that both men, as
young children, lost their fathers. This loss shaped their family
lives. Baker’s strong-willed mother put pressure on him to
succeed and make her proud. This pressure often made him
feel that he wasn’t good enough. Malcolm’s mother, after his
father’s murder, suffered a nervous breakdown and had to be
hospitalized. These tragedies left Malcolm feeling angry. Baker
grew up believing he had no “gumption,” and therefore would
never amount to anything. Malcolm, as an African American
without much formal education, had many internal and
external obstacles to overcome. The most important
similarity is the fact that both men overcame these early
negative attitudes and experiences with the help of words.
Baker realized that his love of reading and writing was not a
drawback, but a ticket to success and his mother’s approval.
Malcolm made the most of his time in jail by reading and
working to expand his vocabulary. He realized that reading
and writing were his ticket to freedom and power.
You can see that the lives of Russell Baker and Malcolm X
are different in many ways, but similar in other, more important
ways. Each struggled to find and accept his true self. For each,
part of winning this struggle was discovering his voice through
reading and writing.
2. Strongly states
the purpose for the
comparison
4. Outlines the main
point of the essay—
that the two subjects
share important
similarities—and
supports this idea
with examples and
details
6. Includes
transitional words
and phrases to
make similarities
and differences
clear
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65
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Average Student Model
The Lives of Malcolm X and Russell Baker
3. Needs a transitional
word or phrase here,
such as “While there
are differences between
the two, there are also
important similarities.”
5. Strong transition
66
Malcolm X and Russell Baker are both writers born in
1925. It might seem as though that’s where the similarities
between them end. However, I believe they do have other
things in common. They lived two different lives, but both
lives were shaped by tragedy, obstacles, and a love of
language.
There are differences between the men. Russell Baker
lost his father when Russell was young. His family struggled
with financial problems. Most people did during the Great
Depression. Malcolm X also lost his father. His father was
murdered. His family not only struggled with poverty, but
also with racism. Baker wanted to be a writer from a young
age. He grew up to be a newspaper reporter and a prizewinning writer. Malcolm X spent time in jail, but then went
on to join the Nation of Islam. He became a minister. He
fought against racism.
Both had difficulties to overcome. Baker felt that
he would never please his mother. To win approval,
something called “gumption” was needed . His mother
felt he was too quiet and lazy. Malcolm had a lot of anger
because not only was his father murdered, his mother had
a nervous breakdown. He felt racism had destroyed his
family, and he knew racism was something he would
always face. Baker thought that his lack of “gumption”
would hold him back, while Malcolm thought racism and
his lack of education would hold him back. This brings us
to the most important similarity —the ways in which the
two handled their problems. Baker eventually realized
that he could have success and his mother’s support as
a writer. He worked hard to be the best writer he could
be. Malcolm, too, found success in reading and writing. On
his own, while sitting in prison, he improved his language
skills. His language skills made him an effective speaker.
These two men led very different lives. On the
other hand, they also have important things in common.
Reading and writing helped both of them to be successful
and strong.
UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
2. Paragraph has
good details. Some
sentences could be
combined to make
writing read more
smoothly.
4. Dangling modifier;
should be “To win his
mother’s approval, he
needed to have
something called
‘gumption.’”
6. The conclusion
sums up the
comparison and
contrast, but could
be stated more
dramatically.
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1. The beginning
introduces both subjects
and states a reason for
comparing them. The
first sentence could be
more interesting.
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Weak Student Model
Comparing and Contrasting Malcolm X
and Russell Baker
1. Weak introduction
does not clearly
introduce the purpose
of the essay or state a
purpose for the
comparison.
3. The similarities and
differences are mixed in
together. First list
similarities and then
differences between
the two, or describe
first one person then
the other.
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5. This is a dangling
modifier. It should be
“With all this tragedy,
Malcolm needed
a miracle in order
to be happy.”
7. The expression neat
is too informal for an
essay.
In this essay I will compare and contrast the lives of
Malcolm X and Russell Baker. Not many people my age
realize how interesting and important these two men
were. Each one’s life was special in its own way. Malcolm
X was an African-American leader. Russell is an awardwinning writer. Read on to learn more.
Here are the similarities and differences between the
two. Malcolm X and Russell Baker are both writers born in
1925. Russell Baker’s father dies when he is young . His
mother was kind of bossy and made him feel as though
he would never be a good person. She did not think
reading and writing were good enough interests. She
forced him to be a salesman instead. Malcolm X lost his
father, to . His father was murdered. His mother had a
nervous breakdown. With all this tragedy, a miracle was
needed in order to be happy . Malcolm found that miracle
in books.
Eventually, Baker’s mother realized that her son could
be a writer. She decided that he did not need to be a
salesman to be a successful person. Baker then could
put his energies into what he always loved—reading and
writing. He felt this career fit with his personality. Malcolm
experienced trouble at first. He went to prison. In prison,
however, he spent his time wisely. He rewrote the
dictionary in order to learn more words. He read every
chance he got. It’s so neat that both did so well. Baker
worked as a newspaper reporter and he won awards.
Malcolm X became one of the most well-known, influential
African-American leaders of all time. As far as I know, the
two never met each other. They both did wonderful things
with their lives.
So, as you can see, both of these men had to work very
hard. Both of them loved to read. Who do you think is
more admirable? Think about it.
2. This sentence
contains a verb tense
error. The death of
Baker’s father should
be referred to in the
past tense, using the
words died and was.
4. Watch for spelling
errors. The word
should be too.
6. Paragraph needs
transitional phrases to
make the comparison
clear. Writer jumps
from one subject to
the other.
8. The conclusion does
not summarize the
main idea of the
essay—the comparison.
The essay is not
addressing the idea
that the men were
admirable; it is
supposed to be
showing how they
are similar to
and/or different
from each other.
UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
67
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
Rubric for Evaluation
Ideas and Content
Weak
Average
Strong
1. Includes a good introduction of the two subjects being compared
2. States the reason for the comparison
3. States similarities and differences
4. Uses good supporting examples and details
5. Conclusion summarizes comparison and also explains
new understanding
Structure and Form
6. Follows a clear organizational pattern
7. Uses transitional words to make similarities and differences clear
Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics
8. Uses correct grammar
9. Uses correct punctuation, spelling, and capitalization
Writing Progress to Date (Writing Portfolio)
The strongest aspect of this writing is ___________________________________________________________
A specific improvement over past assignments in your portfolio is ___________________________________
A skill to work on in future assignments is _______________________________________________________
Additional comments: ________________________________________________________________________
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UNIT FOUR WRITING WORKSHOP
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The final version shows improvement over the rough draft in this way: ________________________________