The Real League‐ Week 5 “Power Rankings‐ A Time for Forgiveness” A Time for Forgiveness In my prayers this Yom Kippur, I performed 3 things; I thanked god, asked for forgiveness and gave a little forgiveness as well. I not only prayed to god for the arm of Tom Brady, the legs of Fred Jackson but now in Week 5, for the 19 points from Marshawn Lynch. Additionally, I thanked god for such a good group of friends and an amazing League which I enjoy so much that helps me get through every day at work. I also asked for forgiveness from the Fantasy Football Gods. I apologized for my past transgressions some of which include Deangelo Williams and his disgusting sophomore slump, ever thinking Shone Green was going to be a good running back, never picking a Dallas Cowboy in my 5 years doing fantasy football, making fun of Darren McFadden, ever doubting Steve Smith is a top 10 Wide Receiver in the NFL, not making the Schwizz Commissioner sooner (nothing against Max who did an excellent job), and most of all, allowing Moshe Neiman into the fantasy league. I completed my High Holy Day Service by granting forgiveness as well: 
To Jamal Charles, RIP o You won over my heart, set my expectations in the clouds and filled my head with hopes and dreams of the playoffs and fantasy dominance; and then like El Cuniado you shot a porno in my apartment and ruined my freakin season. BUT I FORGIVE YOU! 
To Knoshown Moreno, o You know what? I don’t care if I misspell your name every single week. You stink! Who loses a starting job to 85 year old Willis McGaghee, the guy blew out his knee like four times. Twice you have been on my team, twice I have placed my hopes with you and twice you have failed and didn’t stay on the roster for 5 weeks. BUT I FORGIVE YOU! 
To all the running backs I have ever owned, o This is now the 2nd out of 5 seasons (yes take that in) where at least 2 of my top 4 picks were off my team before week 5. This is the 3rd out of 5 seasons where my seasons opening running backs were off my team, BUT I FORGIVE YOU 
To The League, o You are arguably the funniest show on television, but yet so inappropriate. This past episode was fantastic all around. I personally thank you for an incredible opening scene, good story line, and some classic jokes, and of course DIRTY RANDY. However, your inappropriateness made me feel guilty on Yom Kippur. BUT I FORGIVE YOU! 
o
To everyone in the league, We are all one league, one group, one family. I wanted to just publically ask for mechilla from anyone and everyone for anything I might have said or done that hurt you. I also wanted to publically forgive you all for the pressure of writing these emails every Monday night. But even with all the inappropriate comments, cursing that has taken place, name calling, wife bashing, and girlfriend bashing, I FORGIVE YOU! Bye Bye Birdie! Week 5 in the NFL Seasons. These words strike fear into every fantasy football owner because this signifies the beginning of the bye weeks. The challenges that these weeks bring are tremendous. Finding bench players or free agents to fill your team’s holes is usually just a coin flip, a hit or miss. One can only hope that the third WR on a team will get that 3 catches, 60 yards and a touchdown that happens 3 times a year. Being a good coach is just as much about your starting lineup on a non‐bye week as it is filling in 3 spots on bye week. Obviously there is a points curve that is factored in but there is no reason teams should be able to throw a decent team out there. Unless you are one of those guys that is going to have to replace 5 guys in one week, there are no excuses. A good coach sees his bench not only as a place to hold trade bait, or a place to keep guys who are injured for the year, but the bench is a good place to plan for ones bye weeks. These weeks cannot be forgotten since at the end of the bye seasons, the playoff picture starts to form. Here are some of the best Bye Week Coaching decisions from Week 5: 
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McGibblets‐ Marshawn Lynch’s 19 points in place of Tim Hightower The Guru‐ Kevin Walter’s 17 points replacing Lee Evans The Lady’s Man‐ San Fran Defense shines with 22 points in replacing Baltimore Worst Moves Doctor T‐ James Casey and Preston Parker failed to fill in for the injured and Bye, producing 1.8 total points. The Lady’s Man‐ Michael Bush failed to replace Ray Rice, Jacoby Jones and Michael Jenkings failed to replace Miles Austin. The Counselor‐ Kevin Kolb’s 4.28 to replace Romo‐ OUCH!, Maximus Decimus Meridius‐ Stevan Ridely 13 carries for 0 yards in place of Mendenhall, especially with Green‐Ellis 27 points on the bench. While on the topic, a not so great shout out needs to go out the Hoffman family. I rarely ever like to call out or make fun of teams like this but the request was made by numerous people. To clarify, this is not at a jab at these coaches but just some unbelievably sad facts about this past week’s showdown of 3‐1 teams. In the showdown among two of the top seeds in the league, the final score of this past week was 68‐52! No, this was not the score after the 1 o’clock games finished. This was the final score from two teams with a combined 6‐2 record. The combined score of 120 would have been the 6th best individual team score for the week. The 6 starting WR for these two teams combined for a total of 13 points. 4 out of the 18 players in this game scored more than 10 points. If not for Arian Foster and Aaron Rodgers, both these teams would have been in the 40s. I think everyone understands it is a bye week but this could arguably be the worst fantasy game ever, not forgetting it was a showdown of two 3‐1 brothers. It Ain’t Over Until the Fat Lady Sings I think it bears mentioned what an exciting week this was. 4 games were decided in the Monday night game which is rare enough. 3 of these were amazing comebacks, and 2 of these were 3 point games. Team McGibblets beat the #1 seeded Commish on an 18 yard touchdown catch by Pettigrew to win by 1 point. The guru picked up an 11 point come from behind victory on Best’s 25 points. The Bear Jew confirmed his victory on forte’s 17 points. And in what is by far the most exciting in the recent memory, Big Ben Lover Insler pulled out a 2 point victory over Dr. T. Being 1 point behind with just minutes left, Jay Cutler earned a solid 4 points on the final drive to earn the amazing 25 point comeback victory. With every snap of the ball, we were all glued to the TV to see if Cutler would throw a pick, a touchdown, or fumble the ball. This can arguably be called the most exciting week of the season thus far. Week 5 in Review MatchupPointsSummary With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility As self promoted Writer for “Mer Loves Poon”, I have taken upon the responsibility of establishing the Power Rankings each week. While I have not actually gotten a lot of serious complaints regarding the rankings each week, I have gotten some positive feedback and inquiries. I wanted to let everyone know that while it may seem like I just throw some teams in different places, I actually take everything into consideration when I do the rankings. I look at points for, points against, different matchups, team points, individual player stats, player injuries, bye weeks, and of course overall record. While I think I have done a decent job doing this, I understand that my bias may come into place. Therefore I have explored some new theories as to how to perform the power rankings. Attempt #1‐The Committee At first I thought that a committee could be formed and together, the rankings could be set. Then I realized that there were a few issues: this would take too much time, most of us are working and couldn’t get together, the committee itself could be biased, and of course, it would probably just be another area of debate in the League. Attempt #2‐ The Wives I pondered how to avoid the bias of having coaching rank the teams. I thought that perhaps the sounder minds of the women of the league could hear some basic facts about teams and then help to come to a conclusion. Unfortunately, I realized that Yakira would be busy with Zev and having two Gurus in the league would be too much, Dahlia herself is a coach and would not be considered a third party, I don’t know if the internet reaches all the way to Highland Park (Miriam) or to the Sushine State (Amanda), and The Rangers have started their season so I am assuming the Inslar Mishpacha is busy, so Robin is out. Attempt #3‐ The Oberon Mt. Power Rating Formula The Oberon Mt. Power Rating Formula attempts to give commissioners and owners alike a tool to predict a fantasy team's potential performanceby not only looking at their average score, but also factoring in intangibles such as an owner's managerial skills (using winning percentage) and luck (good teams losing to the hot team of the week and poor teams beating better teams having a down week). There is some great feedback from commissioners and owners from around the country about the Oberon Mt. Power Rating for fantasy football teams. Some thought the idea was great, and others hated it, mostly because their PR's didn't live up to their records. That's okay. Everyone has their own opinion and this is something you'll use if you want to gage a team's success or failure by means other than just their average score or just their record. This expert formula works as follows; The Math In English 1. Multiply the team's average score by six. Average score is the very basic stat to judge a team's prowess. 2. Add the team's highest score to their lowest score (Deviation), and multiply the result by two. Over and above the average score, the Deviation gives more importance to a team's highest scoring game, while also punishing a team a little more for their lowest score. 3. Take the owner's winning percentage and multiply by 200, then multiply that by two.** This portion of the Formula more than anything rewards and punishes for all the little intangibles associated with coaching a fantasy team. For instance, an owner that continues to win despite a less‐than‐impressive lineup is rewarded over and above their lagging average score. On the other hand, an owner that loses because he starts players on their bye week, or leaves injured players in their lineup, suffers twice . . . from points not scored by missing players and for the resulting losses. 4. Divide the total by 10. Definitions Average score ‐ Total of a team's points scored divided by the number of games played. Deviation ‐ Take the team's highest score and add to it the team's lowest score. Winning Percentage. ‐ Divide the team's number of wins by the number of games played While this method actually makes a lot of sense and really takes a lot of things into consideration, it simply seems like too much work. But if you would like to read more about this method please feel free to read up on it, http://www.justlacrosse.com/omffl/powerrating.htm . Attempt #4‐ The SheDre Formula After much eating, drinking and being merry, a formula was formed that takes all factors into consideration. In evaluating the important factors that should play the biggest role in the Power Rankings, the following four items were identified: 1. Points For 2. Points Against 3. Yahoo Ranking 4. Median Score Using the mighty excel, a formula has been devised that weights each of these factors based on the importance, relevance, and fairness of these three qualifying items. The added item, the Medium score takes into account a team highest score and lowest score to factor in when a team has one really good game. Every team’s stats are factored in and all items are accurate. The formula is only known to myself and has been approved by the commissioner. It is with great pleasure I now present to you the new and improved POWER RANKINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Power Rankings‐What everyone has been waiting for, the weekly Power Rankings. CurrentPRTeamCoachRecordExplanation 1‐4‐McGibblets‐The Writer‐3‐2‐The fifth solid week in a row, this squad beat the #1 seeded Commish by 2 points on a last minute comeback win. Brady has been struggling lately but has been covered by excellent WR and RB. Lynch was a nice surprise this week but this team still needs a more solid #2 RB. If the D starts to contribute this team can put up 125 consistently. 2‐1‐YEAH BUDDY ryan‐The Commish‐3‐2‐A tough loss to the McGibblets slowed this powerhouse down. Bowe is starting to produce like he did as #1 WR last year and Brees is as steady as they come. Jones Drew and Turner are very consistent and the starters are backed by a solid bench. Once again, this team is built for the long run and is consistent. 3‐6‐Wilfork for Food‐Big Ben Lovers‐4‐1After a slow start, Big Ben’s Boys had an amazing come from behind victory this week. The RB’s are consistently performing and Calvin Johnson, who has recently been named MEGATRON (John Clayton), is simply unstoppable. The one question remains is which Big Ben will show up on a given week. 4‐5‐Vinegar Strokes‐Jay the Wise‐2‐3Though only boasting a 2‐3 record, the new PR system awards for high scores, consistency and rough loses to big scoring teams. Jay the Wise is the epitome of this producing nearly 118 points a week but also running into a league leading 625 points. If they continue to score like this, the wins will come. 5‐8‐ConsensualButtRex‐Dr. T‐2‐3Also at 2‐3, this squad has put up very good numbers this year but also been facing some tough loses. They had the second highest Medium Score this year. Losing this week in the last 30 seconds of Monday Night football hurts but arguably the best WR core in the League is getting help from other supporting cast members including ROY Cam Newton (yes the award is already his). 6‐9‐JapanSwordBivakasha‐The Guru‐2‐3The Guru knows a little about everything but a lot about RB. His RB has been the best 1‐2 in the league this season. His numbers are slightly skewed due to the 170 outburst a few weeks ago, but they have been decently consistent and had a nice comeback win this week. 7‐3‐the Floridians‐The Bear Jew‐4‐1I know I know, how can a 4‐1 team be 7th on the list?!?!?! The Floridians ended 9th overall in points for and medium weekly score, as well as 12th in points faced. This is not to take away from the wins because a win is a win but it has to be valued. Rodgers and Forte are highlights for this team but other than that, the team has not been playing very well despite the good record. 8‐7‐HABSolutely Rude Eh‐Maximus‐2‐3Though facing the 2nd highest opponents score, this team is middle of the pack in scoring and pretty low in Median score. Stafford has been amazing but this team is not consistent. It seems like each week a different player is pulling in 20 points but not more than once and not at the same time. Fitzgerald and Desean have not been the studs we expected. 9‐10‐My Vick In A Box‐Koppel‐2‐3‐Kopps ranked pretty low in all of the qualifying factors. Poor QB work has hurt this team. AP is the top RB in football right now and Jimmy Graham is one of the top TE in all of football but these WR have fallen short of preseason hopes and Matt Ryan wont help your fantasy team get into the playoffs. 10‐2‐Niginta Please‐The Counselor‐3‐2From the #2 spot to the #10 spot is a huge drop. Like his brother, the Counselor suffered from poor point production (10th) and points faced (11th) which contributed to the good record. An embarrassing loss with only 52 points is hard to swallow; Rodgers put up 65 points alone last week. Hopefully the return of room can right the ship. 11‐12‐Amy's Bitch.‐The Lady’s Man‐1‐4‐This team won the battle to not be last place by the smallest of margins. Rivers and ray rice are the only highlights on this team right. The potential is there as they get healthy but it will be a hard climb back to make the playoffs especially dealing with these bye weeks. I think the Lady’s Man needs to give his ladies a little bit of charm and luck. 12‐11‐Wats closer FLorMTL?‐The Frock‐2‐3What has happened to the Frock. Ranking at the bottom of all 4 categories, the Frock needs some help. Yes they picked up their second win, but fantasy is about consistency and point production, neither of which has been done by this squad. CJ has not played like the #2 pick and others need to pick it up as well.