“GIFTS OF GOD” BIBLE STUDIES
BEAUTY•RELATIONSHIPS•SEX•ALCOHOL•SUCCESS
GIFTS OF GOD STUDIES TYLER ZACH
God gives us many good gifts. But, these “good” things can become
“god” things. These studies explore how we use things like alcohol,
sex, beauty, and relationships to get approval, power, comfort, and
security. Instead of dealing with our behavior at a surface level, the
studies surfaces the root reasons behind our abuse of God’s gifts and
why we look to them for fulfillment instead of God himself.
G I FTS O F G OPDRO
STFU1DIES
01 1
These studies use a gospel-centered approach to five of the most
relevant issues on campus, confronting the primary idols in the lives
of today’s student with the good news of Jesus Christ.
STUDIES CAN ALSO BE FOUND ONLINE
relationships
Leader’s Guide
BIG IDEA
Relationships are a gift from God. But, we have sought after ultimate fulfillment in them. The Gospel confronts the
way we try to pile the deepest longings of our heart onto one person instead of God himself.
RELATIONSHIPS POP QUIZ
SAY “To begin this study we are going to take a quick Relationships Pop Quiz. Let’s read through all the questions first
and then flip the sheet upside-down to see the answers.”
STATUS UPDATE: IN A RELATIONSHIP
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
How has a family, friend or dating relationship been a real gift to you?
THE PROBLEM
LEADER READS THE SMALL SECTION UNDER “THE PROBLEM”
SAY “Now we are going to read a story from Scripture that deals with the topic of relationships. Can I have one
volunteer who would be willing to read this story? Please read loudly and slowly so that we can catch what is going on.”
READ John 4:1-26
How does Jesus use the well in the story as a spiritual analogy with the Samaritan woman? The well in the story
represents her spiritual thirst. Jesus showed her that she had been going after men to quench her spiritual thirst.
What is the passage urging you to do? Jesus is urging the woman at the well to see that he is the living water that can
truly satisfy. Likewise, we are urged to come to Jesus to quench our spiritual thirst instead of going to relationships or
anything else in life that we think will ultimately fulfill us.
What is the reward for doing it? We won’t have to keep going to other worldly sources to be satisfied.We can have
eternal satisfaction right now through Jesus.
SAY “Hopefully, after reading about this interaction between Jesus and the woman at the well, it has helped you to see
that God also desires a relationship with you and me. He has put a deep desire in us to find fulfillment in a relationship
with him. But the problem is that we often go to other sources to quench our spiritual thirst instead of God. Let’s move
on to to next section to find out why.”
relationships
leader’s guide cont.
THE ROOT
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
How have you or your friends bought into the cultural myth that we can have meaning, be healed, made complete, or ultimately
fulfilled with “the one?”
SOLUTION
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above? Potential follow-up questions:
• How will deeply knowing The Gospel change the heart of someone who is piling the deepest longings of their heart onto one
person right now?
• How should knowing that eternal life is primarily a relationship rather than a destination affect the way you live your life?
• What else stood out to you from this section?
REDEEMING RELATIONSHIPS
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Which of these do you need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out more fully? Potential follow-up question:
Which of these areas have you struggled with in the past?
SAY “Thanks for sharing. Let’s spend the last few minutes in prayer.”
PRAY
Relationships
Pop Quiz
1) The #1 relationship argument is over
___.
A. jealousy
B. money
C. what to watch on TV
2) Couples with children are more likely to
get a divorce than couples without
children.
A. True
B. False
IN A RELATIONSHIP
3) One out of five women who meet men
online have sex on the first encounter.
A. True
B. False
In the movie Cast Away Tom Hanks gets
so lonely that he paints a face on a
volleyball and names it Wilson. Having
an imaginary relationship for him was
better than no relationship at all. Isn’t
that why we all get a little jealous when
our friend’s status update changes to “in
a relationship?”
4) ___ say that they been told it's all over
via text message or email.
A. One in three
B. One in seven
C. One in ten
1)
2)
3)
4)
B (money)
False
False (1 out of 3)
B (1 in 7)
ANSWERS:
Quiz sources:
#1 www.dating-online-today.com
#2 www.divorcestatistics.org/
#3 www.zimvi.com
#4 http://www.reuters.com/article/technologyNews/
idUSL1323642420071214
Q
How has a family, friend or dating relationship
been a real gift to you?
STATUS UPDATE:
One of the worst punishments that a
man can be given in jail, apart from
being put to death, is solitar y
confinement. Being put in “the hole”
alone and isolated for an extended
period of time is pure torture.
Did you know that antidepressants are
the leading prescription drug in the US?
A few of the leading causes of
depression are abuse (a harmful
relationship), conflict (a heated
relationship) and loss (an ended
relationship). Not having healthy
relationships make us go just as crazy as
Tom Hanks on an deserted island. Why
is this?
God created us to be in relationship.
After creating Adam he said, “It is not
good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18).
Therefore, God gave Adam a gift - Eve.
Upon seeing her, Adam sang a song
(Gen 2:23) that probably would have
earned him a role on Glee.
Contrary to gods in other religions, we
see that the Christian God not only
wants humans to have a relationship
with each other, but a relationship with
him as well. We learn that God walked
and talked with Adam and Eve in the
garden (Gen. 3:8). We read that
Abraham was called a friend of God
(James 2:23). We see that “the Lord
spoke to Moses face to face, as a man
speaks to his friend” (Ex. 33:11). Sure,
these examples only include prominent
leaders. But, as we read later on in the
New Testament, Jesus was known as “a
friend of sinners” (Matt. 11:19). He didn’t
discriminate or form cliques, but truly
was an equal-opportunity friend.
From eternity past, God the Father has
had a relationship with God the Son
and God the Holy Spirit. The very
nature of the Trinity proves that God is
relational and has created us as
relational beings since we are made in
his image. When we interact with and
serve those in relationship with us, we
reflect the very nature of God.
relationships are a gift
the problem
Relationships are a gift from God but we have sought after
ultimate fulfillment in them rather than God.
Read
John 4:1-26
Answer the questions below after reading the passage of
Scripture...
How does Jesus use the well in the story as a
spiritual analogy with the Samaritan woman?
What is the passage urging you to do?
What is the reward for doing it?
THE ROOT ISSUE
Not much has changed since the story of the
woman at the well. Like her, we also go from
relationship to relationship to fulfill our
“spiritual thirst.” Here are some of the
underlying “thirsts” that we are trying to
quench through relationships:
Approval and appreciation. “My life
feels more meaningful when I get the praise
and compliments of others” or “I like being in
a relationship because it makes me feel
wanted.”
Influence and Power. “I feel less weak
when I am dating someone or when I join an
organization on campus or an influential
group of friends.”
Emotional and physical comfort.
“Being in a relationships with someone
makes me feel less lonely or bored” or “I like
the intimacy we have when we engage in
sexual activity.”
Security and control. “I feel more
secure about myself and my future when I’m
in a committed relationship” or “I like to date
people I can control because I like being the
one in charge.”
While it is true that we seek to fulfill our
spiritual thirst through multiple avenues, the
culture (especially music and film) continues
to tell us to pile the deepest longings of our
heart onto one person. Ernest Becker says
that this constant pursuit of fulfillment in one
specific person is called “apocalyptic
romance” which is “looking to sex and romance
to give us the transcendence and sense of
meaning we used to get from faith in God.”
“We maintain the fantasy
that if we find our one true
soul mate, everything
wrong with us will be healed.”
- Pastor Tim Keller
What we see on TV and what we listen to
on the radio continues to feed this mythical
fantasy. It’s quite ironic that many of the
celebrities singing about romance are either
single or divorced.
Stanly Hauerwas says, “The assumption is that
there is someone right for us to marry and that
if we look closely enough we will find the right
person. This moral assumption overlooks [a]
crucial [aspect] to marriage… It fails to
appreciate the fact that we always marry the
wrong person. We never know whom we marry;
we just think we do. Or even if we first marry
the right person, just give it a while and he or
she will change.”
We keep telling ourselves that the next guy
or girl may actually be “the one” to give us all
that we need. But the statistics show that this
pursuit for ultimate fulfillment has been
unsuccessful. The number of divorces cases
has been increasing since the 1970’s. Today,
40-50% of all marriages end in divorce. In
addition, a Journal of Couple & Relationship
Therapy study revealed that 45-55% of
married women and 50-60% of married men
engage in extramarital sex at some time or
another during their relationship.
The problem is not relationships, but our
pursuit of ultimate fulfillment in them. No
one is qualified to quench our deep spiritual
thirst apart from God.
How have you or your friends bought into the
cultural myth that we can have meaning, be
healed, made complete, or ultimately fulfilled
with “the one?”
solution
redeeming
relationships:
The Gospel confronts the way we pile the deepest longings of our
heart onto one person. Emily, a sorority girl, would write status updates on
Facebook like “My boyfriend is the best,” “Love talking to my boyfriend into the
wee hours of the morning” and “I love you.” Then about eight months into the
relationship she told me, “We broke up a few days ago. I’m not dealing with it
very well. I got hurt pretty bad. It’s going to take some time to recover.” What
happened? Emily bet all of her chips on one guy and lost.
The bad news is, like Emily, we too have been guilty of trying to quench our
spiritual thirst in friends, family, or romantic relationships. We have forsaken
God, the “fountain of living water” (Jer. 2:13). We’ve abandoned Jesus who is
our “living water” (John 4:1-26) and gone to sources that leave us empty.
Therefore, it would have been perfectly just for God to keep us at a distance
forever.
But, the good news is that God sent Jesus into the world to reconcile our
relationship with him. Tragically, Jesus wasn’t well received when he got here.
John 1:11 says, “He came to his own and his own people did not receive him.”
And in his greatest time of need, his closest relationships failed him. His
friends deserted him, doubted him, and even denied him. Even after all of
this, Jesus still “laid down his life” (John 15:13) so that we as God’s
“enemies” (Rom. 5:10) could be called his “friends” (John 15:15) and we as
“sons of disobedience” could be called “sons of God” (Gal. 3:26). On the cross
Jesus was forsaken by God because he received the penalty that we should
have received for forsaking him (Matt. 27:46) so that he could bring us back
into the arms of a loving Father.
If you truly believe that - you can have eternal life. But don’t make a common
mistake. Don’t presume that eternal life simply means getting a ticket to
heaven. Eternal life means getting God himself. John 17:3 says “Now this is
eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom
you have sent.” The primary goal of the Christian life isn’t heaven, but a
relationship with God through Jesus alone (1 Tim 2:5; John 14:6).
What Emily needs to know and what you and I need to know is that we can
pile all of the deepest longings of our hearts onto one person - Jesus. We can
stop searching desperately for intimacy because “The One” relationship that
matters has come to earth and found us. And he promises to never leave or
forsake us if we are united with him (Matt. 28).
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above?
You can’t redeem relationships without
being in a relationship with God. Since
Jesus said that no one comes to the Father
except through him (John 14:6), the first
step is to trust in Jesus who died to
reconcile you to God (Rom. 5:10). Those
who are in a relationship with God are
sealed with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 1:13) who
empowers you with the motivation and
ability to redeem relationships in the
following ways:
return to God
In the book of Revelation, God
encouraged one of the churches for the
great things they were doing but also
said, “Yet I hold this against you: You have
forsaken the love you had at first. Consider
how far you have fallen!” (Rev. 2). Have you
fallen or drifted from the love you once
had for God? As you look at your life
right now, would you say that God is the
most important relationship to you? Are
you sacrificing intimacy with God for the
sake of spending all your time with one
person?
run to God
God should be your highest pursuit. He is
omnipresent (always there), omnipotent
(all powerful), and omniscient (all
knowing).Your loved ones are not!
Therefore, don’t expect them to be there
for you every second, deliver you from
every trouble, and answer your every
problem. They can’t handle those divine
expectations. Run to God instead!
pursue community
C.S. Lewis said that you can’t have a
relationship with God individualistically
because you see God through others. If
you don’t have a small group community
of Christian friends that you are praying
with, reading the Bible with, and doing life
with, you will have a small view of God.
You also need to be connected to a
church community in the city because the
Bible says you are one small member of a
larger body (Rom. 12:4-5).
reconcile with others
Are you holding a grudge against
someone right now? “Be forgiving each
other just as in Christ God forgave
you” (Eph. 4:32). Is there someone that
you have a hard time accepting? “Accept
one another, then, just as Christ accepted
you, in order to bring praise to God” (Rom.
15:7). Let what Jesus has done for you
soften your hard heart toward others.
Which of these do you need to be
empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out
more fully?
alcohol
Leader’s Guide
BIG IDEA
Alcohol is a gift from God. But, it is often an abused gift. The Gospel confronts both the way we use alcohol to get
the happiness that only God can give and the way we use legalistic solutions to fix alcohol abuse.
CHURCH HISTORY POP QUIZ
SAY “To begin this study we are going to take a quick Church History Pop Quiz. Let’s read through all the questions first
and then flip the sheet upside-down to see the answers.”
JESUS CHRIST: KING OF THE BREWS
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What surprises you about the Bible’s stance on alcohol?
What was the stance on alcohol that your church or family had growing up?
THE PROBLEM
LEADER READS THE SMALL SECTION UNDER “THE PROBLEM”
SAY “Now we are going to read a passage of Scripture that talks more about alcohol. Can someone with a Bible turn
to Ephesians 5:15-18 and read the passage for us?”
How is being “filled with alcohol” and “filled with the Spirit” similar/different?
Similar: When you fill yourself with one of them you become controlled by it. It takes you over for better or for
worse.
Different: When you fill yourself with alcohol you lose the ability to make good decisions. When you fill yourself
with the Spirit, you can’t help but do only good things.
Paul is setting up a contrast here of two different types of people.What words/phrases are associated with each side?
(see grid below)
alcohol
leader’s guide cont.
FIRST KIND OF PERSON
SECOND KIND OF PERSON
Wise
Unwise
Making the most of every opportunity
[Misses opportunities]
Understand what the Lord’s will is
Foolish
Filled with the Spirit
Drunk on wine
[Does Good]
Debauchery
SAY “Paul is setting up a contrast of two different types of people. The first person gets wisdom, seizes the opportunities
that God gives, seeks to understand what God’s will is in everything, and is controlled by the Spirit which leads them to
do good. The second person doesn’t pursue wisdom, misses out on the opportunities God gives, is foolish, and gets drunk
on wine which leads them into more sin. Paul here is associating a drunk person with words like unwise, foolishness, and
debauchery. He’s letting us know that alcohol abuse is not just an outward behavioral problem, but a sign that
something much deeper is going on. Let’s keep reading...”
THE ROOT
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Growing up, in what ways have you been persuaded by the culture or the church not to drink?
Being honest, if you drink, what do you think your biggest motivation is? What about those around you?
SOLUTION
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above? Potential follow-up questions:
• How will deeply knowing The Gospel above change the heart of an alcohol abuser or a legalist?
• What else stood out to you from this section?
REDEEMING ALCOHOL
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Which of these do you need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out more? Potential follow-up question:
Which of these areas have you struggled with in the past?
SAY “Thanks for sharing. Let’s spend the last few minutes in prayer.”
PRAY
Church History
Pop Quiz
1) Was Saint Gall, a missionary to the
Celts, better known for his
A. preaching
B. brewing
2) After Charlemagne’s reign who
became Europe’s exclusive brewer?
A. the Church
B. the atheists
KING OF THE BREWS
3) When a young Christian woman
was to be married in Europe a
special bride ale was made for her,
from which we derive the word
bridal. Who made it?
A. men at the pub
B. men at the church
I think that Homer Simpson speaks for
a lot of fraternity guys when he says,
“Mmmm... beer.” It appears that the
early church was in agreement with him
(see pop quiz). So why does it seem
like the church today has a rather harsh
view of alcohol?
4) Pastor John Calvin’s annual salary
package included upwards of 250:
A. gallons of wine
B. books for his study
2)
3)
4)
ANSWERS:
1) Brewing. If you are going to do any significant outreach to Irish
people it needs to involve a pint of something, not just good will.
The Church.
Trick question. Those are the same guys.
250 gallons of wine
This quiz was given in a sermon by Pastor Mark
Driscoll of Mars Hill Church.
Q
What surprises you about the Bible’s stance on
alcohol?
What was the stance on alcohol that your
church or family had growing up?
JESUS CHRIST
We don’t want to deny the damage
that alcohol abuse has done in our
world for sure. But we have to ask the
question: Is Jesus, King of the Jews, also
King of the brews?
money on and drink wine. Psalm 4:7
compares joy in the Lord to the
abundance of wine. Psalm 104:14-15
credits God as the creator of wine that
“makes a man’s heart glad.” Love is
compared to wine repeatedly in the
Song of Songs. Isa 25:6 says that the
Lord will prepare a banquet with wine
for his people. In addition, lack of wine
is viewed as a judgment from God (Jer
48:33; Lam 2:12; Hos 2:9; Joel 1:10; Hag
2:16); and, conversely, its provision is
viewed as a blessing from God (Gen
27:28; Deut 7:13; 11:14; Joel 2:19, 24;
3:18; Amos 9:13-14). Wallace says,
“Why, if one didn’t know better, he might
think that God actually wanted us to
enjoy life!”
Professor Daniel B. Wallace says of his
research on alcohol, “As I began to look
into this topic, I was actually quite
amazed at the biblical writers’ attitude
toward alcohol. I had expected it to be far
more negative than it really was. One
lesson I have learned from this is that
although I think that I am being biblical,
often my tradition and Chr istian
subculture shape my thinking more than I
realize.”
Jesus’ view and use of alcohol lines up
perfectly with the the rest of the Bible.
However, he was attacked by the
legalists for his views. Matthew 11:19
tells us, “[Jesus] came eating and
drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton
and a drunkard.’ ” The religious leaders
lied about Jesus’ use of alcohol because
they were jealous of his popularity and
felt morally superior to him.
Wallace is right. The Bible says that
alcohol is a gift from God. Deut 14:26
implies that it is a good thing to spend
Jesus, rather than conforming to the
legalists of his day, showed us that a
person can drink to the glory of God
(1 Cor 10:31) without becoming a
drunkard.
alcohol is a gift
Our sovereign God didn’t create
alcohol by accident. He created it for us
to drink with a joyful heart (Ecc 9:7).
the problem
Alcohol is a gift from God, but it is often an abused gift. Here are
some of the tragic consequences of alcohol abuse:
Incest (Gen 19:32-35), Violence (Prov 4:17), Adultery (Rev 17:2), Mockery (Prov 20:1), Poverty
(Prov 21:17), Murder (2 Sam 11:13-15), Gluttony (Prov 23:20-21), Madness (Jer 51:7), Sloth (Joel
1:5), Escapism (Hos 4:11), Depression (Luke 24:34).
Read
Ephesians 5:15-18
How is being “filled with alcohol” and “filled with the
Spirit” similar/different?
Paul is setting up a contrast here of two different types of
people.What words/phrases are associated with each side?
THE ROOT ISSUE
Since the gift of alcohol had been so heavily
abused in the city of Ephesus, the Apostle
Paul did not want them to take this problem
lightly (and neither should we). Therefore, he
commands them to be the kind of people
who don’t abuse alcohol. But doing this is
easier said than done.
Some people would argue that we have
been presented with two main solutions both of which have their limitations because
they use fear as their primary weapon.
The first solution (used mainly by the secular
culture) seeks to induce fear by showing you
all the statistics and consequences of alcohol
abuse. The education system is full of
programs that teach you about the dangers
of alcohol (D.A.R.E., mock car accidents, risk
management seminars, etc.) to deter you
from wanting to binge drink. Using
consequences to deter bad choices is biblical
(see book of Proverbs), but we all know that
this has only worked on a small percentage
of the student population.
The second solution (used mainly by church
people) seeks to induce fear by telling you
that if you drink God will disapprove of you.
Therefore, you should get as far away from
alcohol as possible. But is abstaining really the
best solution?
“Do you suppose that abuses
are eliminated by destroying
the object which is abused?
Men can go wrong with wine
and women. Shall we then
prohibit and abolish
women?” - Martin Luther
Luther is right. Getting rid of the object
won’t cure the need behind the object. The
problem isn’t “out there.” The problem is “in
our heart.” For instance, if you take away
alcohol from a guy who desperately needs
approval from his friends, he will just turn to
something else like having a nice car to get
the approval he wants. Therefore, we must
find out why we (or our friends) drink before
we move on to a solution that will get better
traction. Here are a few of the common root
issues that drive someone to drink:
Approval and appreciation. “If I drink
with them I can finally get their acceptance”
or “I’m willing to break the law to get this
group’s approval.”
Influence and Power. “Drinking with
this crowd will make me more popular.”
Emotional and physical comfort.
“Getting drunk helps me to to numb the
pain, get rid of stress, or escape the problems
in my life.”
Control. “If I can get him/her drunk maybe
they will want to make out with me or have
sex with me” or “If I get myself drunk maybe
it will make turn me into a more likable or
outgoing person.”
It is important to point out that everyone
abuses alcohol for a different reason.
Identifying the root reason will help in the
recovery process. But, for example, simply
knowing that the desire for approval is
driving someone to abuse alcohol won’t
actually cure them. What they need is
something stronger, deeper, and more
powerful than alcohol to fulfill them. If
anyone wants to be released from the
power that alcohol has over them, they need
to go somewhere else for true freedom and
happiness.
Growing up, in what ways have you been
persuaded by the culture or the church not to
drink?
Being honest, if you drink, what do you think
your biggest motivation is? What about those
around you?
solution
The Gospel confronts the way we use alcohol to get happiness. The
more we drink to find comfort, the more uncomfortable our hangover is. The
more we drink to get approval, the more we feel unapproved of in the
morning after the regrets set in.
Only in Jesus will we get the happiness that we long for, without all the side
effects. And only when we realize that all the things we are looking for in
alcohol can be found in Jesus, will we be freed to enjoy alcohol the way God
intended. We have all been guilty of slipping toward legalism or drunkenness
at some point in our life. But here’s the good news.
Jesus lived the life we should have lived - a life without legalism and
drunkenness. And instead of coming to condemn a world full of drunks and
legalists, he died to save it (John 3:17).
Jesus is not a cosmic killjoy as many have thought. His very first miracle was
turning over 100 gallons of water into wine at a wedding party. Pastor Tim
Keller mentions that in the same way Jesus saved the wedding party from a
disappointing end, he will also save you and the rest of the world from a
disappointing end. Jesus died to keep the party going! His sad death has made
it possible for us to have a happy, eternal life.
And one day very soon, Jesus promises that those of us who are his, who
have been filled with his Spirit (Eph 5:18), will enjoy a drink together with
him. The very night before Jesus died he said, “I tell you I will not drink again
until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.”
Isaiah also points us to the future Feast: "On this mountain the Lord of hosts will
make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine... He will
swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces...’"
- Isaiah 25:6-9
The feast in heaven will be filled not with those who have made the gift of
alcohol ultimate, but with those who have made Jesus ultimate and use
alcohol as a way to heighten our fellowship with him.
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above?
redeeming
alcohol:
You can’t redeem alcohol without being
redeemed yourself. So the first step is to
trust in Jesus, who lived a perfect life and
died to make you righteous before God (2
Cor 5:21). Those who are made righteous
by God are sealed with the Holy Spirit
(Eph 1:13), who empowers you with the
motivation and ability to redeem alcohol in
the following ways:
respect authority
God desires that we would respect
authority, for our good and the good of
our nation. Our country has created a
legal drinking age because many teens
think, "I can drink responsibly." But we all
know that this hasn’t been the case. Thus,
if you are under the drinking age, you
shouldn’t drink. Romans 13:1 says,
“Everyone must submit himself to the
governing authorities, for there is no authority
except that which God has established.The
authorities that exist have been established
by God.” This Bible study is intended for
you to enjoy alcohol to the glory of God,
but not at the expense of minimizing His
glory by being unsubmissive to the law.
use your conscience
If you are over 21, act according to your
conscience. If you have abused alcohol in
the past, you might want to abstain for a
period of time so that you don’t stumble
back into your old habits. If you know
that you don’t have the willpower to have
just one or two, or if alcohol has led you
down a path of sin before, hold off.
don’t judge
If you are over 21, Romans 14 tells those
of you who have chosen to abstain not to
judge your friends who don’t. The passage
also exhorts the Christians who don’t
abstain not to judge their friends who do.
respect others
If you are over 21, 1 Corinthians 10:23-33
says that you should seek the good of
others and not cause anyone to stumble.
Ask yourself before hanging out with
friends or going to a party: How will this
affect the faith of those around me? Does
anyone have alcohol-related conscience
or addiction issues? Instead of flaunting
your freedom, walk with wisdom,
discernment, and humility.
Which of these do you need to be
empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out
more?
beauty
Leader’s Guide
BIG IDEA
Beauty is a gift from God. But, it is often a redefined and abused gift. The Gospel confronts both the way we use
beauty to get the acceptance that only God can give and the way we use our moral performance to make
ourselves beautiful enough for God.
BEAUTY POP QUIZ
SAY “To begin this study we are going to take a quick Beauty Pop Quiz. Let’s read through all the questions first and
then flip the sheet upside-down to see the answers.”
THIN-SPIRATION TO LOOK GOOD
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
When was the last time you experienced something beautiful?
THE PROBLEM
LEADER READS THE SMALL SECTION UNDER “THE PROBLEM”
SAY “Now we are going to read a few passages of Scripture that talk more about beauty. Can I have five volunteers
with a a Bible each read one of these passages? We are going to read through these passages quickly to get a clearer
definition of beauty. The answers might come easy, but it will be very helpful to go over them.”
READ Proverbs 31:30
How is the passage urging you to think differently about beauty? Physical beauty doesn’t mean much. It’s passing quickly.
What is the passage urging you to do? Fear the Lord.
What is the reward for doing it? You will be praised.
READ 1 Peter 3:3-4
How is the passage urging you to think differently about beauty? Though it is OK to wear make-up, jewelry, and nice
clothes, your beauty should not primarily come through these external things.
What is the passage urging you to do? Weigh your beauty first and foremost by looking at what’s on the inside.
What is the reward for doing it? In God’s eyes gives, inner beauty has much worth.
READ 1 Timothy 4:8
How is the passage urging you to think differently about beauty? Inner beauty has more value than outer beauty.
What is the passage urging you to do? Enter into spiritual training more so than physical training.
What is the reward for doing it? Godliness has value in both in this life and the next.
beauty
leader’s guide cont.
READ 1 Samuel 16:7
How is the passage urging you to think differently about beauty? People aren’t accepted or rejected by God because of
their outer beauty, but because of their heart.
What is the passage urging you to do? Look at the heart more than outward appearance.
READ Proverbs 11:22
How is the passage urging you to think differently about beauty? It is silly to think that a gold ring could make something
as unclean as a pig look more beautiful. In the same way, a woman’s physical beauty can not excuse her lack of
discretion.
What is the passage urging you to do? Pursue discretion (having good taste and judgement).
SAY “Hopefully these passages helped you to get a clearer picture of God’s definition of beauty (which places an
emphasis on internal qualities) as opposed to the culture’s definition of beauty (which places an emphasis on outward
qualities). To summarize, outer beauty passes by quickly and is often used by us to measure our worth and the worth
of others. Inner beauty on the other hand has long-term benefits and consists of fearing the Lord and pursuing
godliness. Now let’s look at the root of our beauty problem so that we can find a helpful solution...”
THE ROOT
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
How have you experienced others around you using beauty to get approval, power, comfort, or control? How have you done this?
SOLUTION
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above? Potential follow-up questions:
• How will deeply knowing The Gospel change the heart of someone who a) abuses the gift of beauty or b) is trying to
become beautiful enough for God through their moral efforts?
• What else stood out to you from this section?
REDEEMING BEAUTY
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Which of these do you need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out more fully? Potential follow-up question:
Which of these areas have you struggled with in the past?
SAY “Thanks for sharing. Let’s spend the last few minutes in prayer.”
PRAY
Beauty
Pop Quiz
1) ___ of women are dissatisfied with
their appearance.
A. 20%
B. 50%
C. 80%
2) The average American woman is
___.
A. 5’2”, 120 lbs.
B. 5’4”, 140 lbs.
C. 5’6”, 160 lbs.
THIN-SPIRATION
TO LOOK GOOD
3) The average American model is ___.
A. 5’9”, 103 lbs.
B. 5’10”, 110 lbs.
C. 5’11”, 117 lbs.
4) Models are thinner than ___ of
American women.
A. 58%
B. 78%
C. 98%
The characterization of a “beautiful”
person is often based on physical
factor s, such as health, weight,
youthfulness, facial symmetr y, and
complexion. TV shows with big ratings
like “What Not to Wear”, “The Biggest
Loser”, and “Ugly Betty” show people
changing or dealing with the way they
look. We live in a culture that is
obsessed with beauty. It is estimated
that the diet industry alone is worth
anywhere between 40 to 100 billion
dollars in the United States. There has
been a growing fad in our culture to be
thin and beautiful.
1)
2)
3)
4)
C (80%)
B (5’4, 140 lbs.)
C (5’11”, 117 lbs.)
C (98%)
ANSWERS:
Quiz source: Fantasy (CruPress)
Q
When was the last time you experienced
something beautiful?
fearfully and wonderfully made; your
works are wonderful, I know that full
well” (Psalm 139:13-14). Vicki Courtney,
a writer for Focus on they Family says,
“You were created in the image of God,
and God doesn’t make junk! Like a
snowflake, every person is unique. No two
are the same. God sees you as a
masterpiece.”
St. Augustine reminds us that God
doesn’t discriminate when it comes to
giving the gift of beauty: “Beauty is
indeed a good gift of God; but that the
good may not think it a great good, God
dispenses it even to the wicked.”
Whether someone is good or bad,
know that God has freely given
everyone beauty for the simple fact
that he created everyone in his image.
Even before make-up, hair gel for men,
beauty treatments, and shopping malls
existed, there was beauty. God says in
the first chapter of the Bible, “Let us
make man in our image, in our likeness.”
Having the “image” or “likeness” of God
means that we resemble God and his
beauty.
God is pro-beauty. Even something as
small as a lily has a beauty that can
surpass a king in all his splendor (Luke
12:27). We are told at the end of the
Bible that God’s people will someday
live in a city that is exceedingly beautiful
(Rev. 21).
The Psalmist says, “For you created my
inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am
Beauty is a gift from God that should
cause us to wor ship him with
thankfulness in our hearts.
beauty is a gift
the problem
Beauty is a gift from God, but we’ve abused this gift by redefining
it. We’ve created an outward, one-dimensional version that we use
to get acceptance.
Read
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Proverbs 31:30
1 Peter 3:3-4
1 Timothy 4:8
1 Samuel 16:7
Proverbs 11:22
Answer the questions below after reading each passage of
Scripture...
How is the passage urging you to think
differently about beauty?
What is the passage urging you to do?
(For #1-3 only) What is the reward for doing it?
THE ROOT ISSUE
It is quite evident in the passages above that
we as human beings tend to put more effort
on our outer beauty than inner beauty. But
why is that? What is the root reason for the
imbalance? You can find the answer to this
question right away in the first book of the
Bible. The story of Adam and Eve tells us
that after they inwardly sinned against God
they outwardly felt ashamed. So they
physically covered their sense of inadequacy
and hid from God. Their internal beauty
problem led them to feel unaccepted by
God and each other. You could say that all
abuses of the gift of beauty are rooted in our
sense of inadequacy. Here are a few of the
ways that people tr y to cover their
inadequacy using beauty:
• “I will only invite the most attractive or
talented people into my group of friends
or organization so that we will be more
desirable or powerful.”
• “If I date someone really attractive, then it
will make me look good too.”
• “If I ditch my old friends for these new,
more respected friends, then it will feel like
I’m moving up in the world.”
• “If I gossip or make fun of the way they
look today it will make me feel better
about myself.
Emotional and physical comfort.
Approval and appreciation.
• “If I wear enough make-up, spend enough
money on the most expensive beauty
products, or take enough trips to the gym
and tanning bed - then I will get the
approval that I crave.”
• “If I wear expensive brand name clothing,
then I will get the respect I want.”
Influence and Power.
• “If I look at beautiful men or women in the
magazines or watch pornography on the
Internet it will make me feel less empty.”
• “I can control the way I look in the mirror
by not eating enough food or overexercising.”
At some level, all of us are guilty of using
beauty to cover ourselves with approval,
power, comfor t, or security. Therefore,
counselors have been encouraging us to
cover ourselves with confidence - to look in
the mirror and tell ourselves we’re beautiful.
But simply mustering up the power to feel
confident won’t remove our deep sense of
inadequacy for more than a day. All addicts,
including beauty addicts, need a power from
the outside to come in and replace their
need at the root level.
We must ask ourselves, “Is there someone or
something that can make us feel fully
accepted without having to sacrifice all our
time and money to that person or thing to
get it?” Do you think such a solution exists?
We’ll find out on the next page, but first...
Security and control.
• “If I spend enough money on beauty
enhancement procedures, then I can
control the way I look or slow down the
aging process.” Interesting fact: Plastic
surgery has increased 754% since 1997.
How have you experienced others around you
using beauty to get approval, power, comfort, or
control? How have you done this?
solution
redeeming
beauty:
The Gospel confronts the way we use beauty to get acceptance. We
can spend hundreds of hours on a treadmill or in the tanning booth and
spend thousands of dollars on beauty products and treatments and still have
no guarantee that the world will accept us.
If you try to attract someone who cares more about your outer beauty, you’ll
have to spend your whole life maintaining your body to hold onto them. If
you try to win God with your inner beauty, you’ll have to spend your whole
life morally outperforming everyone else to hold onto him - which doesn’t
work anyway because the Bible says that all of us are morally unclean despite
our best efforts (Isa. 64:6). Having a nice body may get you into a night club
or fraternity party and having a nice moral record may get you into a certain
spiritual community, but neither of these are enough to get you into the gates
of heaven. Pastor Tim Keller points out: “If we struggle to live up to others’
standard of beauty, how will we ever become beautiful enough for God’s
standard?” In other words, in the end, is there any hope for us? The answer lies
in the person and work of Jesus.
Jesus had unimaginable beauty and acceptance in heaven, but he gave it all up
when he came humbly as a plain man into a world that rejected him. Isaiah
53:2-3 says, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his
appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men...
like one from whom men hide their faces...” Jesus lost his beauty so that you
could gain yours. Ephesians 5:25-27 says, “...Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her... to present her to himself as a
radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish...”
The good news is that the story line of the Bible is not what people think that the gospel is about following all the rules so that we can make ourselves
look more beautiful. No, at the heart of the gospel, is Jesus coming down out
of heaven to cleanse his bride (the church) so that we might stand acceptable
and confident in his sight. This free gift of beauty is offered to all who trust in
the One who purchased it for us at great cost on the cross.
Only when you realize you’ve been cleansed of all your internal beauty flaws
by God through the work of Jesus, and know that even your physical beauty
will one day be renewed (Phil. 3:21), will you be free from using and pursuing
beauty in all the wrong ways.
Deep down we all fear being physically and emotionally exposed for who we
really are. Thankfully, we have a God who was stripped, mocked, and rejected
in public for our imperfections (on the cross) so that we might be covered
with his perfection and never experience shame again (Matt. 27, Ps. 22).
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above?
You can’t redeem beauty without being
redeemed yourself. So the first step is to
trust in Jesus, who lived a perfect life and
died to make you righteous before God (2
Cor. 5:21). Those who are made righteous
by God are sealed with the Holy Spirit
(Eph. 1:13), who empowers you with the
motivation and ability to redeem beauty in
the following ways:
spend less money
According to a Newsweek examination
of the most common beauty trends, by
the time a 10-year-old is 50, she’ll have
spent nearly $300,000 on just her hair
and face. Cutting back on certain beauty
products or treatments will allow you to
use your time and money in a Godhonoring way.You may also think about
cutting back on brand name clothes,
brand new cars, the latest technology, and
anything else that you use to boost your
appearance.
spend more time on
spiritual disciplines
Spiritual exercise is more important than
physical exercise (1 Tim. 4:8). Spending
more time praying, reading the Bible,
going to church, and getting into a small
group will have profound effects on your
relationship with God, life, and family.
Remember, doing these things doesn’t
make you acceptable to God. However,
knowing you’re accepted through Jesus
will drive you to do these things.
take care of your body
Even though the Bible heavily emphasizes
spiritual exercise, we need to remember
that we are also called to honor God
with our physical bodies (1 Cor. 6:19-20).
This would include regular exercise and
eating healthy. Negative examples would
include binge eating/drinking, bulimia,
cutting, and forgetting about personal
hygiene.
stop feeding yourself
pop culture
The more you feed your eyes and mind
with fashion magazines or pornography,
the more your heart will want to chase
after the unobtainable perfect standard of
beauty.
Which of these do you need to be
empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out
more fully?
sex
Leader’s Guide
BIG IDEA
Sex is a gift from God. But, we abuse this gift by redefining its boundaries. The Gospel confronts both the way we
pursue sex as life's highest pleasure and the way we reduce sex to either an appetite or procreation.
SEX POP QUIZ
SAY “To begin this study we are going to take a quick Sex Pop Quiz. Let’s read through all the questions first and then
flip the sheet upside-down to see the answers.”
WHAT YOU DON’T HEAR IN CHURCH
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Growing up, what side of the sex as “God or Gross” spectrum did the people around you fall on?
THE PROBLEM
LEADER READS THE SMALL SECTION UNDER “THE PROBLEM”
SAY “Now we are going to read a few passages of Scripture that talk more about sex. Can I have five volunteers with a
a Bible each read one of these passages? We are going to read through these passages quickly to get a clearer
definition of beauty. The answers might come easy, but it will be very helpful to go over them.”
READ Proverbs 5:18-19
How is the passage urging you to think differently about sex? Sex was designed for pleasure, not just procreation.
What is the passage urging you to do? To be sexually satisfied with your spouse.
READ Mark 10:6-9
How is the passage urging you to think differently about sex? Sex was meant for a man and woman. Also, sex unites a
man and woman permanently in God’s eyes.
What is the passage urging you to do? Refrain from homosexual relationships. Also, we should refrain from sex until a
permanent commitment has been made.
READ Matthew 5:27-28
How is the passage urging you to think differently about sex? Sexual sin starts in the heart and isn’t just an outward
action but an inward nature.
What is the passage urging you to do? Pay attention to the sins of your heart, not just your outward actions.
READ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
How is the passage urging you to think differently about sex? We shouldn’t have sex whenever, wherever.
What is the passage urging you to do? This passage contrasts the self-controlled with those who lack self-control. We
honor God by controlling our body’s lustful urges.
sex
leader’s guide cont.
READ 1 Corinthians 10:13
How is the passage urging you to think differently about sex? If you struggle with sexual temptation there is hope. God
will alway offer you an escape door and will give you the power to walk through that door.
What is the passage urging you to do? When you are tempted, remember God’s protection and look for the open door
that he has promised.
SAY “Hopefully these passages helped you to get a clearer picture of God’s take on sex. To summarize, sex was
designed by God to be enjoyed by a man and woman in the commitment of marriage. Since sexual sin isn’t just
external but internal, we are to pay attention to our hearts since that is where sin begins. Lastly, God urges us to live
holy lives by controlling our bodies. This last piece leads us into the next section. We will see that our lack of self-control
leads to us to minimize the power of sex.”
THE ROOT
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
How have you experienced others around you stretching the boundaries of sex to get approval, power, comfort, or security? How
have you done this?
SOLUTION
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What is your reaction to the Gospel message above? Potential follow-up questions:
• How will deeply knowing The Gospel change the heart of someone who a) feels guilty because of their sexual history or b) is
using sex to get ultimate pleasure?
• What else stood out to you from this section?
REDEEMING SEX
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Which of these do you need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out more fully? Potential follow-up question:
Which of these areas have you struggled with in the past?
SAY “Thanks for sharing. Let’s spend the last few minutes in prayer.”
PRAY
Sex
Pop Quiz
1) ___% of guys say they have more
respect for girls who say no to sex.
A. 33
B. 53
C. 73
2) The average person has their first
sexual experience with another
person at age ___.
A. 13
B. 16
C. 19
WHAT YOU
DON’T HEAR
IN CHURCH
3) ___The number one consumer of
pornography are:
A. Girls ages 25-30
B. Guys ages 12-17
C. Guys ages 18-23
4) ___% of guys say that sex won’t
make them stay in a relationship
they don’t want to be in.
A. 25
B. 50
C. 75
1)
2)
3)
4)
C (73%)
B (16)
B (Guys ages 12-17)
C (75%)
ANSWERS:
Quiz sources: (#1, 4) “That’s What He Said” report by
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and
Unplanned Pregnancy; (#2, 3) Pastor Mark Driscoll
sermon “Peasant Princess: Let Him Kiss Me.”
Q
Growing up, what side of the sex as “God or
Gross” spectrum did the people around you fall
on?
Sex has had a tremendous amount of
power over our culture. First, we sing
about it. If you turn on the radio, you
won’t hear people singing songs about
their jobs. Rather, you will hear them (in
graphic detail) explaining what they’d
like to do to the opposite sex. Marvin
Gaye, Prince, Pussycat Dolls, Lady Gaga,
and Justin Timberlake are just a few of
the well known pop stars who have
made songs about sex popular. Second,
we write about it. Have you seen the
magazines on the grocery store rack? In
addition to bread and milk, you can
purchase a stack of magazines with
endless sex tips. Third, we think about it.
Statistics show that over half of men
think about sex every day.
Contrary to popular belief, the Bible has
a lot to say about sex. The book Song of
Solomon paints a beautiful, graphic
picture of what redeemed sex looks like
yet it never mentions pregnancy at all!
The sexual imagery in this book is
detailed and surprising. You’ll never think
of cisterns, wells, trees, and fruit the
same way again!
sex is a gift
The Bible shows us that sex was
authored by God himself. He didn’t fall
off his throne in heaven when he saw
Adam and Eve “figuring things out” for
the first time. The God who created
the Universe (with all its complex laws
and formulas) also carefully designed
the art of sex. He gave us this beautiful
gift for the purpose of pleasure (Song
of Sol.), children (Gen. 1), oneness (Gen.
1), comfort (2 Sam. 12:24), and
protection (1 Cor. 7).
Pastor Mark Driscoll says that people
normally view sex as either “God” or
“Gross.” The first group turns a good
thing into a god thing. They see sex as
the ultimate thing in life by which they
can experience the highest pleasure.
The second group (which includes
many church people) tend to view sex
as gross - totally sinful, evil, and only
necessary for producing offspring.
Driscoll advocates that we should view
sex as a gift from God. He says, “Sex is
a gift to be received, treasured, enjoyed,
saved, given in marriage, and cultivated in
marriage.” This biblical view rides the
fine line between the errors of license
(having sex whenever we want) and
legalism (having sex for procreation
purposes only).
Why are we so infatuated with sex?
The reason is that the human body is
the apex of God’s creation here on
earth. It should be no surprise then that
sex (the powerful mingling of two souls
and bodies) is the most sought after
experience of our day.
the problem
Sex is a gift from God, but we’ve abused this gift by redefining its
boundaries.
Read
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Proverbs 5:18-19
Mark 10:6-9
Matthew 5:27-28
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
1 Corinthians 10:13
Answer the questions below after reading each passage of
Scripture...
How is the passage urging you to think
differently about sex?
What is the passage urging you to do?
THE ROOT ISSUE
We’ve redefined the boundaries that God
has put around sex. We have moved the
protective boundary markers not realizing
that...
“...boundaries are for our
good - helping us to contain
the power of sex so that it
maximizes pleasure... When
we don’t respect the power of
sex and don’t get a handle
on it, it spreads decay and
destruction in our lives.”
- Pastor Tim Keller
First, moving the boundaries of sex minimizes
pleasure. Ben Patterson says, “The pleasures
of sex are heightened, not lessened by proper
restraint, in the same way the Colorado River is
made more powerful by the walls of the Grand
Canyon. The very narrowness of the river’s
channel there makes for a great river. Farther
south, as the river flows through the deserts of
California and Arizona, it is shallow, wide, and
muddy, even stinky in spots. Wider boundaries
diminish the river; sharper, stronger, and
narrower boundaries strengthen it. Less is
more.” Second, moving the boundaries of sex
spreads decay and destruction. If a fish
decided, for the sake of freedom, to live
outside of the boundaries of water, it would
start to break down and die. Additionally, if a
person allowed their fire to spread beyond
the fireplace, the house would start on fire
and eventually burn down to the ground.
The boundary of marriage therefore was not
created by God to diminish pleasure, but to
protect and enhance it. As we have seen
though, we have turned away from God and
have used sex to get the following things that
we should be looking for in him alone:
Approval and appreciation. “Having
sex makes me feel wanted, loved, approved,
and affirmed.”
Power. “I feel powerful when I am able to
sleep with multiple guys/girls” or “I like to
give or withhold sex to get what I want.”
Intimacy and physical comfort. “Sex
makes me feel closer to him/her” or “Looking
at porn makes me feel less lonely” or “Having
sex or looking at porn relieves my stress.”
Security and control. “I think that
having sex will make him/her stay with me.”
We lust after these things when we lack a
relationship with God or have a weak one.
Lust starts in the heart (Matt. 5) and grows
as we ditch the promises of God. Lust causes
us to use people. For example, men may give
affection to get sex and women may give sex
to get affection. In these examples, sex is
used as a means to an end or an end in
itself. Sex here is reduced to a commodity an exchange of goods. The problem is that if
the sex isn’t good enough or the affection
purchased by sex isn’t strong enough, then
the relationship could be off! Without a
commitment, sex is a high risk activity
because there is no guarantee that the one
you’ve been emotionally and physically
vulnerable with, will hold onto their
independence.
If you are dating someone right now, don’t
disrespect the power of sexual activity. Your
physical and emotional well being is on the
line. In our culture, sexual restraint is frowned
upon. But sex within the restraint of one, lifelong, committed relationship always breeds a
sharper, stronger, and more powerful form of
pleasure.
How have you experienced others around you
stretching the boundaries of sex to get
approval, power, comfort, or security? How have
you done this?
solution
The Gospel confronts our views and practice of sex. If sex becomes our
ultimate pursuit, then we will be severely disappointed. That is why when we
are trusting in sex as life’s highest pleasure, that is when we are the most
unhappy. When sex doesn’t come through for us, we have to have more,
jumping from one relationship (or porn site) to the next. Sex gets reduced to
an appetite that we feed when we have urges. On the flip side, if sex is reduced
to producing offspring, then we strip sex of its power to produce radical
pleasure and oneness in the marriage bed. Both of these practices reduce sex
to something far less than what it was intended to be.
The Bible tells us very clearly that everyone who misuses the gift of sex will be
judged. Those who engage in adultery, sex before marriage, pornography, rape,
bestiality, voyeurism, incest, pedophilia, prostitution, and the like will not inherit
the Kingdom of God (Gal. 5:19-21). Included in this group are those who might
not have acted out their sexual fantasies, but who have lusted in their heart
(Matt. 5:27). Ephesians 5:3 reminds us that “...there must not be even a hint of
sexual immorality.” Not even a hint.
But, listen very closely to the good news. Even though the way out of the
Kingdom is sexual immorality, the way back in isn’t to clean up your sex life. In
one of the most remarkable stories in all of the Bible, the religious leaders drug
a sexually immoral woman out in front of everyone to kill her as a punishment.
Jesus stepped into the hostile situation, saved her from death, and told her that
he didn’t condemn her (John 8). How did she get off the hook so easily?
Because Jesus was on his way to die for her on the cross. Like the woman in
the story, Jesus dies for us while we are in sexual sin, not after (Rom. 5:8). Jesus
was even bold enough to say that prostitutes who repent will enter the
Kingdom of God before the hypocritical religious leaders (Matt. 21:28-32).
Even though sex is a great gift to the world, it is important to remember that
Jesus lived a single life. This is something we shouldn’t overlook. As we look at
the life of Jesus, we see that sex is not the highest end a person’s life. Sex is a
signpost that points beyond itself. Psalm 16:11 says, “...in [God’s] presence there is
fullness of joy; at [His] right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Through Jesus we can
receive unceasing pleasure from God. And those who do experience this kind
of pleasure will be freed from using sex in all the wrong ways.
Sex is a visible sign of two people becoming one flesh forever. It is a vulnerable,
self-sacrificial act that communicates a heart of commitment to the other. The
cross is our visible sign that God sent Jesus to die for us so that we might be
one with him forever. On the cross, Jesus became vulnerable and self-sacrificial
to prove his commitment to his unfaithful bride, the church.
What is your reaction to the Gospel message above?
redeeming
sex:
You can’t redeem sex without being
redeemed yourself. So the first step is to
trust in Jesus, who lived a perfect life and
died to make you righteous before God (2
Cor. 5:21). Those who are made righteous
by God are sealed with the Holy Spirit
(Eph. 1:13), who empowers you with the
motivation and ability to redeem sex in the
following ways:
fasting and fleeing
First, Jesus said that if something causes you
to sin sexually, deal with it in a serious
manner (Matthew 5:27-30). If you need to
fast from a book, computer, TV, or dating
relationship for the time being, then do so if
it’s holding you back. Remember that getting
rid of the object won’t cure your problem,
but it will help you in that it will stop feeding
your sinful desires. Second, we are to flee
from sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18). In most
cases (although not always), men will give
into visual temptations that seek instant
gratification (i.e. porn, one-night stands) and
women will give into emotional temptations
that build slowly (i.e. romance novels,
fantasizing about men). Discern which things
make you the most vulnerable and run!
don’t awaken love
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires
(Song of Sol. 2:7).” Ben Patterson says, “She
issues a call of restraint... Her message is that
the experience of lovemaking is too powerful, too
all-consuming, to stir up until the lovers are
ready, until they have the commitment proper to
sex.” Michael Lawrence says, “Foreplay is the
one-way on-ramp onto the highway of sexual
intercourse. In our cars, we are not meant to
slow down on an on-ramp, and we are not meant
to go backwards.That is not what on-ramps are
designed for.They are meant to get the car up to
speed. So it is with foreplay.” Even if you are
not having intercourse with someone, things
like erotic kissing, petting, and dry sex are all
“on-ramp” activities that awaken love and
diminish its power before the right time.
tell others
You should tell others what you are doing
with your alone time or boyfriend/girlfriend.
James 5:16 says that confessing your sin to
other Christians is the path of healing. Once
they know, they can be praying that God
would give you protection (from temptation)
and the power (to change). Plus, they can
continually remind you of the consequences
of your actions as well as God’s amazing
forgiveness toward you through Jesus.
Which of these do you need to be
empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out
more fully?
success
Leader’s Guide
BIG IDEA
Success is a gift from God. But, we use our work, family, and spiritual achievements to receive praise from God
and others. The Gospel confronts the way we try to acquire a sense of worthiness from our successes rather
God himself.
RELATIONSHIPS POP QUIZ
SAY “To begin this study we are going to take a quick Success Pop Quiz. Let’s reflect on these questions individually for
one minute and then discuss them in a group.
The point of the pop quiz is to show us that we don’t have to be smart or famous to be successful. Anyone can be successful.
CHASING THE AMERICAN DREAM
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What is something that you really want to be successful at?
THE PROBLEM
LEADER READS THE SMALL SECTION UNDER “THE PROBLEM”
SAY “Now we are going to read a few passages of Scripture that talk about God’s path of success for us. Can I have
four volunteers with a a Bible each read one of these passages? We are going to read through these passages quickly to
get a clearer definition of what God-centered success looks like.”
READ Psalm 1:1-3
What is the path of success according to the passage? What kinds of activities does it include? Activities don’t include
walking in the counsel of the wicked, standing in the way of sinners, or sitting in the seat of scoffers - but include
delighting in the law of the Lord and meditating on his law day and night.
How is this path different than the one the culture has laid out for us? The culture wants us to listen to and follow the
counsel of the world rather than the bible.
READ Joshua 1:7-8
What is the path of success according to the passage? What kinds of activities does it include? Activities include following
the Law that Moses gave us and not turning from it to the right hand or to the left.
How is this path different than the one the culture has laid out for us? The culture tells us that we can be successful
without being obedient to God’s commands.
success
leader’s guide cont.
READ Matthew 16:24-26
What is the path of success according to the passage? What kinds of activities does it include? Activities include denying
ourselves, taking up our cross, and following Jesus.
How is this path different than the one the culture has laid out for us? This path is one of self-sacrifice and suffering
while the culture says that we can gain the whole world without following Jesus and denying ourselves.
READ Matthew 20:20-28
What is the path of success according to the passage? What kinds of activities does it include? Activities include serving
others daily - especially those under our authority in the family or workplace.
How is this path different than the one the culture has laid out for us? The culture would have us believe that the more
successful we become the more we get to be served.
SAY “Hopefully, these passages have helped you to see an alternative path to true success. Now, let’s explore the root
reasons why we have such a hard time following God’s path of success rather than the culture’s.
THE ROOT
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
How have you experienced people around you climbing the ladder of success? What reasons for pursuing success (listed above) do
you resonate with in your own life?
SOLUTION
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above? Potential follow-up questions:
• What is the bad and good news for a non-Christian who is seeking to find a sense of worthiness through school or work?
• What is the bad and good news for a Christian who is trying to earn praise and respect through church involvement?
• What else stood out to you from this section?
REDEEMING SUCCESS
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Which of these do you need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out more fully? Potential follow-up question:
Which of these areas have you struggled with in the past?
SAY “Thanks for sharing. Let’s spend the last few minutes in prayer.”
PRAY
the pursuit of
worthiness
success
a gospel-centered
Bible study
S e n d c o m m e n t s o r s u g g e s t i o n s t o T y l e r Za c h // t y l e r . z a c h @ u s c m . o r g
Success
Pop Quiz
Reflect on these questions yourself for one
minute and then discuss them in a group.
1) Name the five wealthiest people in the
world.
2) Name the last five winners of the Miss
America contest.
3) Name the last five winners of the Nobel
or Pulitzer prize.
CHASING THE
4) Name a few teachers who had a big
influence on you.
AMERICAN DREAM
5) Name a few friends who helped you get
through a difficult time.
In 1931, Historian James Truslow Adams
popularized the phrase “American
Dream” in his book Epic of America. He
said, “life should be better and richer and
fuller for everyone, with opportunity for
each according to ability or achievement.”
6) Name a few relatives who you have
learned some valuable things from.
Q
Which questions were easier to answer? #1-3 or
#4-6? Why? What does that say about success?
Q
What is something that you really want to be
successful at?
In our society, chasing the American
dream usually means working as hard as
possible now so that we can later
receive a coveted social status,
successful career, big salary, dream
house with or without kids, and a
comfortable retirement. Right now,
there are over 118,000 books on
Amazon.com on the topic of success
that promise to help you attain the
American Dream.
Rightfully so, Christians have challenged
the pursuit of the American Dream.
But, before we move on to confront
this type of living, we need to first
affirm that success in and of itself is a
gift from God.
In the beginning, Adam and Eve were
told to “be fruitful and multiply” in their
work and in the home (Gen. 1:28).
success is a gift
Right from the star t, they were
commanded by God to be productive!
It is important to see that God gave
them an ambitious task that went
beyond devotional times and church
attendance.
As we flip through the bible, we see
God over and over again blessing
individual people with success. It was
said of Joseph, “the Lord was with Joseph
and gave him success in whatever he
did” (Gen. 39:23). It was said of David,
“In everything he did he had great
success, because the Lord was with him.”
It was said of Hezekiah, “And the Lord
was with him; he was successful in
whatever he undertook.” As you can see,
God is in the business of making people
successful.
It is promised for you that if you trust
in God and obey his commands, He
“will then make you successful in
everything you do” (Deut. 30:9).
Wo r k , a n d t h e s u c c e s s t h a t
accompanies it, is a gift from God “for
we are his workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus for good works, which God prepared
beforehand, that we should walk in
them” (Eph. 2:10). God created each of
us with specific “works” in mind.
Therefore, we should seek to find out
what those things are and work hard
for his glory alone - asking him for
success along the way.
the problem
Success is a gift from God. But, we abuse this gift by using
our work, family, and spiritual achievements to acquire praise
from God and others.
Read
1)
2)
3)
4)
Psalm 1:1-3
Joshua 1:7-8
Matthew 16:24-26
Matthew 20:20-28
Answer the questions below after reading each passage
of Scripture...
What is the path of success according to the
passage? What kinds of activities does it
include?
How is this path different than the one the
culture has laid out for us?
THE ROOT ISSUE
We’ve learned that success is a gift. We’ve
also learned that there are two paths of
success: one that is God-centered and
another that is me-centered. God’s path of
success involves obedience, Christian
community, delighting in God, meditating on
God’s Word, self-sacrifice, service, and
humility. The world’s path of success is one
big game of King of the Hill. It involves
climbing over other people on the ladder of
success to feel a sense of worthiness. We
want to be the most recognized or
esteemed in whatever circles we run in. We
desire admiration, praise, attention, and
respect for our accomplishments.
Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer, a writer for The
Observer, said, “From the classroom to the
boardroom to the football field, the constant
pressure on all of us - to win and keep on
winning - is doing more harm than good.” Her
phrase, “to win and keep on winning” is a
good way to describe what most of us feel it
takes to stop being mediocre and make our
lives count for something.
Pop legend Madonna said in Vanity Fair
magazine, “My drive in life is from this horrible
fear of being mediocre. And that’s always
pushing me, pushing me. Because even though
I’ve become Somebody, I still have to prove that
I’m Somebody. My struggle has never ended
and it probably never will.”
It is easy to relate to Madonna’s struggle. We
all strive for success to get something that
will validate our existence. Here are some
common reasons we become addicted to
success:
Isn’t it easy to relate to Madonna’s struggle
to prove herself and be a “Somebody”? It’s
disappointing to hear that even when a
success like Madonna has climbed up one
more rung on the ladder, the satisfaction
eventually wears off. We never get to the
point of perfect fulfillment. We always need
more. So, we stay in the cycle of addiction.
Approval and appreciation. “If I get
this award, then everyone will see what a
success I am” or “If people see how
successful of an athlete I am, people will start
to talk about me” or “Since I’m talented in
this one area, I need to show off my skills
more so that people will notice me.”
“To be honest with you I’m a
junkie. I’m addicted to
success. There is no rehab for
success - or I’d go check in
right now.”
Influence and Power. “I love the
respect I get when I’m leading other people.”
- Rapper 50 Cent
Emotional and physical comfort.
“When I get good grades, a promotion at
work, or recognized for something I did - I
feel less like a failure.”
There is such a thing as rehab for drugs and
alcohol. But, the bad news, as 50 Cent said, is
that there isn’t a rehab for people addicted
to success. The reality is that much of the
world is addicted and we don’t know where
to turn for help.
Security and control. “If I’m successful,
people will finally listen to me and do what I
ask” or “If I’m successful in the classroom and
get the job I want, then I can make a lot of
money and secure the lifestyle I want.”
How have you experienced people around you
climbing the ladder of success? What reasons
for pursuing success (listed above) do you
resonate with in your own life?
solution
redeeming
success:
The Gospel confronts the way we pursue the praise and admiration
of others through our accomplishments. Pastor Tim Keller explains the futility
of such a pursuit: “Many people pursue success as a way to overcome the sense
that they are somehow ‘outsiders.’ If they attain it, they believe, it will open the
doors into the clubs, into the social sets, into relationships with the connected and
influential. Finally, they think, they will be accepted by all the people who really
matter. Success promises to do that, but in the end in cannot deliver.”
Both the irreligious and the religious are guilty of selfishly pursuing worthiness
through our accomplishments. The irreligious use their God-given gifts to
achieve things that will bring themselves praise rather than God. And the
religious do the same thing in a different way. Rather than seeking to glorify
God with their religious achievements, they use them to either earn God’s
praise or fish for the compliments of others. But, the applause of others will
never be enough and trying to earn God’s praise is futile because “all our
righteous acts are like filthy rags” (Isa. 64:6) when we contrast them with his
perfect deeds. The bad news is that God, in the end, will turn away everyone
who has used their success to glorify themselves. Yes, this includes even good
religious people (Matt. 7:21-23).
But, the good news is that when we admit our sin, God offers forgiveness (1
John 1:9). In the Parable of the Prodigal Son, the son returns home and says,
“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to
be called your son.” Then the father clothed him with his robe and threw a
huge feast (Luke 15). This is an illustration of what happens when we admit
our sinful failures to God and are covered by the success of Jesus. The
greatest accomplishment we could ever receive was not earned by us, but
was purchased through the blood, sweat, and tears of Jesus. Keller says, “...the
salvation of the world came not through climbing the success ladder, but through
surrender, service, sacrifice, and death.”
Jesus’ death on the cross is where our success begins! It was there that our
failures were placed on him and his righteousness was imputed to us (2 Cor.
5:21). The power that success has over us is broken when we realize that we
have been made worthy by Jesus and have nothing left to prove. When we
have nothing left to prove, we can live sacrificial lives that look “unsuccessful”
to the world around us and climb down the ladder to help those below us.
Heaven will not be filled with people who have the most impressive
resumes. Rather, it will be filled with people who cast the crown of their
successes at the feet of Jesus crying out "Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to
receive glory and honor and power” (Rev. 4:11).
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above?
You can’t redeem the world’s upside
down view of success without being
redeemed yourself. So the first step is to
trust in Jesus, who lived a perfect life and
died to make you righteous before God (2
Cor. 5:21). Those who are made righteous
by God are sealed with the Holy Spirit
(Eph. 1:13), who empowers you with the
motivation and ability to redeem success in
the following ways:
take the right path
“As long as he sought the Lord God gave him
success” (2 Chron. 26:5). “Be careful to
obey all the law... do not turn from it... that
you may be successful wherever you go...
meditate on it day and night.” (Josh. 1:7-8).
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful...
so that the servant of God may be thoroughly
equipped for every good work” (2 Tim.
3:16-17). We are called to walk on God’s
path of success which involves a daily
dependance and submission to him and
the Scriptures. Are you setting yourself up
for success by meditating on the bible
and seeking out God’s guidance daily?
work hard
We live in a world where everyone wants
success but no one wants to work for it.
The Apostle Paul said, “...I worked harder
than any of them, though it was not I, but the
grace of God that is with me” (1 Cor.
15:10). Even though we aren’t saved
through success, we still work hard since
we were “created in Christ Jesus for good
works” (Eph. 2:10). We should follow
Paul’s example of working hard at the
tasks God has given us - giving him all the
credit along the way. Also, remember that
suffering and sacrifice always goes along
with true success. The path for Christians
involves denying ourselves and taking up
our crosses daily (Mark 8:34). Is the path
you are on marked by self-sacrifice and
suffering or comfort and isolation?
do what you love
The pursuit of success will be miserable if
you are doing what others want you to
do instead of doing what you were
designed to do. Don’t let the fear of
parents or money or any other selfish
thing get in the way. If you are delighting
in God, he will “give you the desires of your
heart” (Psalm 37:4). Have the courage to
follow those godly desires no matter how
much money you will make or who
disapproves. Because our identity and
worth is in Jesus and his success, we can
take risks and not be afraid of failure.
Which of these do you need to be
empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out
more fully?
time
Leader’s Guide
BIG IDEA
Time is a gift from God. But we abuse this gift by spending our time chasing our own pursuits rather than God
Himself.
TIME POP QUIZ
SAY “To begin this study we are going to take a quick Time Pop Quiz. Let’s reflect on these questions individually for one
minute and then discuss them in a group.”
START READING! YOU ARE WASTING TIME
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What do you wish you had “more time” to do?
THE PROBLEM
LEADER READS THE SMALL SECTION UNDER “THE PROBLEM”
SAY “Now we are going to read a few passages of Scripture that talk about God’s view of time. Can I have four
volunteers with a bible each read one of these passages? We are going to read through these passages quickly to get a
clearer idea of what the bible says about time and what the implications are for us.”
READ Psalm 39:4-6
How is the passage urging you to think differently about time? We are not immortal like God. Our lives are like a “breath” or
“vapor.” We don’t go on forever. It is futile to find security in temporary things like wealth and accomplishments.
What is the passage urging you to do?To ask God for help in realizing just how short our life is so that we would stop living like we
have all the time in the world.
READ Ephesians 5:1-17
How is the passage urging you to think differently about time? The time or age we are living in is marked by evil and darkness, not
peace and prosperity. We will not live unpunished forever. Because of our immorality, the wrath of God is coming soon.
What is the passage urging you to do? We are to walk in wisdom, grow in obedience, learn what is pleasing to the Lord, seek to
understand his will, and make the most of every opportunity.
time
leader’s guide cont.
READ Galatians 6:7-9
How is the passage urging you to think differently about time? Whatever we “sow” with our time today we will “reap” tomorrow.
If we use our time today to indulge in our flesh we will reap guilt and moral decay. If we use our time to do good for others we will
reap eternal rewards.
What is the passage urging you to do? To stop being selfish, spending our time sowing to the flesh and instead be selfless, depending on the Holy Spirit for guidance and perseverance in doing good.
READ Colossians 4:2-6
How is the passage urging you to think differently about time? We are to make the most of every opportunity that God brings our
way.Time is not just something that passes, but a stewardship that must be well thought out.
What is the passage urging you to do? Plan our schedules with intentionality and wisdom - especially thinking through how we can
use our time to share the gospel and answer questions from others that are provoked by the unique way we live out our faith.
THE ROOT
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
In light of all these things, what keeps you busy and why? What do you spend most of your time doing? What does it reveal about
what you want or love?
SOLUTION
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above? Potential follow-up questions:
• How does this section challenge you?
• How does this section encourage you?
• What lines or verses stood out to you from this section?
REDEEMING TIME
READ THIS SECTION TOGETHER
Which of these do you need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out more fully? Potential follow-up question:
Which of these areas have you struggled with in the past?
SAY “Before we close in prayer, I want to show you the three helpful exercises in the appendix. The first is a
Gospel Life Plan to help you with macro-level “big picture” planning. The second is Time-Management Matrix to help you
with micro-level “day-to-day” planning. The last exercise is Time Wasters which will help you to make the most of your
time everyday by eliminating common internal and external time wasters.”
GO THROUGH ONE OF THE EXERCISES TOGETHER OR ON YOUR OWN!
PRAY
the pursuit of productivity
time
a gospel-centered
Bible study
S e n d c o m m e n t s o r s u g g e s t i o n s t o T y l e r Za c h // t y l e r . z a c h @ c r u . o r g
Time
Pop Quiz
1) The average college student spends
more time in leisure and sports
activities than in going to class and
studying.
A. True
B. False
2) College students get an average of
____ of sleep each night.
A. 6.6 hours
B. 7.2 hours
C. 8.4 hours
START READING!
YOU ARE WASTING TIME
3) College students spend an average of
____ grooming each day.
A. 23 minutes
B. 36 minutes
C. 48 minutes
1)
2)
3)
True
C (8.4 hours)
C (48 minutes)
ANSWERS:
Quiz source: Bureau of Labor statistics
Note: Data includes individuals, ages 15 to 49, who
were enrolled full time at a university or college.
out success?
Q
What do you wish you had “more time” to do?
You might be thinking: “Is this study
going to be a waste of time?” You have a
point. Time is money. But, if you think
about it, we have less control over our
time than our money, don’t we? Time is
a resource that we are forced to spend
whether we want to or not. You are
“spending time” right now. And once
time is spent, you can’t buy it back. It is
irretrievable. The American poet Henry
David Thoreau said that we can’t “kill
time without injuring eternity.” That is why
our culture is so fast-paced. Robert
Banks says, “Whereas the English clock
runs, the Spanish clock walks.” Those
outside our American culture can see
that we have a problem with relaxing
and slowing down. We are driven by a
need to be productive and efficient.
In one sense, we are to be affirmed.
Wasting time is a sin. God, who stands
outside of time and who is sovereign
over it, created us and put us in this
place to accomplish the good works
that he has prepared for us to do (Eph.
2:8-10). Our time is not our own. We
were bought with a price and now
belong to Him (1 Cor. 7:23).
time is a gift
Time is a gift given by God for us to
steward. One day he will hold us
accountable for how we spent our
time. So it it right and good to be
productive. But the problem is that
many of us are busy-bodies who are
busy doing things of little or no value.
Pastor J. Hampton Keathley III said, “We
are like the bus driver who told his
passengers, ‘I have some good news and
then some bad news. The bad news is we
took a wrong turn and we are on the
wrong road. But don’t worry, the good
news is we are making great time.’ ”
Technology has made it possible for us
to be more efficient with our time than
ever before. But the truth is that we
are either too busy to thank God or
are ungrateful because we don’t have
enough of it. Just think about it.
Everything you did today was only
possible because God gave you time to
do it. The only reason you or I think
that we “don’t have enough time” is
because we are trying to do more than
what God has asked of us.
King Solomon said that “there is a time
for everything” and “a season for every
activity under the heavens” which
includes planting, building, weeping,
laughing, mourning, dancing, embracing,
speaking, and even silence (Ecc. 3).
Time is a gift. But the wise know that
this gift will eventually run out (Ps.
90:12). Therefore, they prayerfully
depend on God to make the best use
of it.
the problem
Time is a gift from God. But, we abuse this gift by spending
our time chasing our own pursuits rather than God Himself.
Read
Psalm 39:4-6
Ephesians 5:1-17
Galatians 6:7-9
Colossians 4:2-6
Answer the questions below after reading each passage
of Scripture...
How is the passage urging you to think
differently about time?
What is the passage urging you to do?
THE ROOT ISSUE
We just learned that time doesn’t last
forever and that we should use it wisely, seek
the Lord’s will in how to spend it, use it to
grow in holiness, and use it to share the
gospel. In other words, we are to be good
stewards of time. A steward is someone who
manages the assets of someone else. For
Christians, this means that we manage the
time God gives us for his glory. Our time is
no longer ours. We were bought with a price
(1 Cor. 6:20). We exist to glorify him and
enjoy him forever.
If that’s the case, why are we such bad
stewards of time? The main reason is simple:
We have a worship problem. You might have
thought this bible study was going to help
you re-arrange your schedule to help you be
more productive. But we want you to see
that the underlying problem is not primarily
about poor management, but poor worship.
We always find time for what’s important to
us. Our schedule is filled with what we love.
Just in terms of allocation of time
resources, religion is not very
efficient. There's a lot more I could
be doing on a Sunday morning.
- Bill Gates
This quote from Bill Gates illustrates the trap
many of us fall into. We think that spending
time with God, engaging in spiritual
community, or practicing spiritual disciplines
are obstacles that get in the way of what we
really love. Our schedules prove this! We say,
“I don’t have enough time. I wish there were
more hours in a day.” The reality is you don’t
need more hours in a day. God didn’t make a
mistake. He has given you all the time you
need to accomplish his purposes for your
life. If you are too busy, it means you are
either trying to do more than what he has
asked of you or you are enslaved to one of
the following needs:
Influence and Power. “I have to fill my
schedule in order to get more knowledge,
money, friends, or prestige on campus.”
Emotional and physical comfort. “I
have to study or work non-stop so that I can
find comfort in or have a peace of mind that I’ll
get what I want in the future.’ ”
In addition to filling our time with work and
activities that bring about some coveted
feeling or accomplishment, the bible also
addresses the busy-body syndrome (1 Tim.
5). Busy-bodies are lazy people who stay
busy doing meaningless things out of
boredom. These activities include
daydreaming, fantasizing, gossiping, texting,
playing video games, reading tweets or blogs,
and Facebook messaging and wall browsing.
Author Trisha Wilkerson says, “The busy-body
is more concerned with the actions, thoughts,
and juicy tidbits about others. The sin of a busybody is often when desires are disappointed
and we either demand or settle for the
pleasure of knowing others’ business. Instead of
being connected relationally to God and
people, we slip into false intimacy and gather
knowledge that doesn’t grow us, but instead
wastes time... [These things] take up mind and
heart space that should be occupied by prayer
and purpose.”
Security and control. “I can’t delegate
anything because I can always do it better” or
“I get angry when my schedule is interrupted
last minute because it interferes with my goals.”
In light of all these things, what keeps you busy
and why? What do you spend most of your
time doing? What does it reveal about what
you want or love?
Approval and appreciation. “I can’t
say no to anyone who asks me to do something
because I don’t want to let them down” or “I
need to keep checking FB to see how many
likes or comments I got.”
solution
redeeming
time:
The Gospel confronts our complaint that we have no time. Jesus was
the busiest person ever to live and never complained despite the fact he only
had three years of ministry here on earth. Even though Jesus had more to do
than you and I will ever have, he still got away to spend time with his Father
(Mark 1:35). He had many voices around him telling him what to do yet he
didn’t give in, but rather sought to re-arrange his schedule to fulfill his primary
calling. When Simon came and said, “Everyone is looking for you” Jesus replied,
“Let us go elsewhere, into the surrounding villages, so that I can preach there too.
For that is what I cam out here to do” (Mark 1:36-38). Jesus actually turned
down hundreds of good opportunities to serve and heal people. Why?
Because if he would have given in to every good thing that came his way, he
wouldn’t have made it to the cross. Jesus perfectly managed his time to fulfill
his primary calling while abiding deeply in his Father.
Looking at the life of Jesus is convicting isn’t it? It’s frightening to think that we
will stand before God someday and give an account of how we stewarded
the time he gave us. On judgement day, even the busiest philanthropists won’t
stand a chance: “On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not
prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty
works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart
from me...’ ” (Matt. 7:22-23). You telling people “I’m busy” may get you an
applause at work or with your friends. But in the end, God will ask you like
the religious people above, “Why were you busy?” The religious leaders were
busy doing good things to make a name for themselves, not God. They loved
themselves and that love drove their schedules. Time management wasn’t the
primary problem for them and it isn’t the problem for us. We need to repent
and turn from self-worship so that we can worship God with our time.
However, repentance does not look like you leaving this study wanting to try
harder to fit God into your schedule. It means grieving over the time you’ve
wasted daydreaming and chasing your own desires and goals, accepting God’s
gracious forgiveness through Christ for spending it in a selfish way, and asking
the Holy Spirit to guide you moment-by-moment as you plan your schedule
and rely on his power to change.
Jesus spent his time on earth pursing the cross to die for the way we spend
our time. Right now, Jesus is spending his time in heaven preparing a place for
you and me (John 14:3) so that we can spend an infinite amount of time
enjoying him forever. Until then, Jesus says to the busy and burdened, “Come
to me... and I will give you rest... Take my yoke upon you... and you will find rest for
your souls” (Matt. 11:28-29). Here’s the big idea: Get busy resting in Jesus!
What is your initial reaction to the Gospel message above?
You can’t redeem a busy culture without
being redeemed yourself. So the first step
is to trust in Jesus, who lived a perfect life
and died to make you righteous before
God (2 Cor. 5:21). Those who are made
righteous by God are sealed with the Holy
Spirit (Eph. 1:13), who empowers you with
the motivation and ability to redeem time
in the following ways:
rest with God
We think our time is well spent only if we
accomplish something. Once, when Martha
hosted Jesus at her house, she got irate at
her sister Mary for lazily sitting at Jesus’
feet. Jesus looked at her said, “‘Martha,
Martha... you are worried and upset about
many things, but few things are needed - or
indeed only one.” (Lk. 10:41-32). Sitting at
the feet of Jesus will accomplish more for
you than anything else in life. That is why
the fourth commandment says we should
take one full day of rest per week (Exodus
20:8). In a society that values working
24/7, we can live counter-culturally by
taking time off to reflect, pray, and play.
know your calling
You don’t need more time. You need to
use the time you do have to fulfill God’s
plans for you. Ask yourself these two
questions: 1) Who am I? 2) Why am I here?
Knowing that you’re a Christian means that
you are a disciple (who spends time
learning how to follow Jesus), a family
member (who spends time knowing/
serving the Father and others), and a
missionary (who is sent to make disciples).
Keeping your identity and life calling in
mind will help you to decide what you
should and shouldn’t be doing. Author Dr.
Kenneth Boa says, “With a well developed
sense of purpose, shaped by God’s Word, all
our activities and decisions are brought into
alignment with God’s purposes so that we
can achieve maximum effectiveness with the
time and resources God has given us.”
embrace every season
There is a time or season for everything
(Ecc. 3:1-8). Instead of always thinking
about what’s next or trying to get out of a
trial, ask God to help you embrace what
he has for your right now in order for you
to become more like Jesus (Jam. 1:2-4).
recreate your schedule
Use the time management tools in the
appendix to recreate your schedule in light
of everything we talked about.
Which of these do you need to be
empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out
more fully?
Appendix 1
MACRO-LEVEL PLANNING
Gospel Life Plan
BY SCOTT THOMAS
STEP 1: CALLING
STEP 2: GOALS
Discern your call from God and the purpose or
mission that defines your service to God.
Determine the high-level, big-picture goal(s)
that will enable you to accomplish your call.
What is my calling from God?
In light of my purpose and mission - what goals will
help me to accomplish God’s call on my life?
What is my purpose and mission?
STEP 4: STEWARDSHIP
STEP 3: ACTION STEPS
Discern how to best use your resources, time,
and energy to accomplish your goals.
Decide what specific steps can be taken to
accomplish these goals.
What God given abilities do I have?
What knowledge do I have that I can start investing
in others?
What resources do I have at my disposal?
Who can help me? Who can I invest in?
How can I invest my time better?
THE GOSPEL LIFE PLAN is a macro-level tool designed by Scott Thomas. The diagram and headings are taken
from the Gospel Life Plan tool as explained in the book Gospel Coach. The questions were adapted from the
material in the book.
Appendix 2
MICRO-LEVEL PLANNING
Time Management Matrix
NOT URGENT
What are the important and urgent
things that need to be done right away?
What are important but not urgent things
that need to be done, but not right away?
What are the urgent, but
not important things in my life (things
that are wasting my time because I or
someone else thinks they are important)?
What are the not important and
not urgent things in my life that are wasting
my time and energy?
NOT IMPORTANT
IMPORTANT
URGENT
Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and First Things First, popularized the
concept of a TIME MANAGEMENT MATRIX.
Appendix 3
TIME WASTERS BY SCOTT THOMAS
Seven External Time Wasters
1.
Personal interruptions. Block out long
periods of time on the most important things in
your life and allow for no interruptions.
2.
Phone calls and text messages. Learn
Six Internal Time Wasters
1.
be done by someone else just as well, if not better?
2.
4.
E-mail barrages. Schedule two to three
times a day to check and respond to e-mails - and
then stick to your rule. Ongoing e-mail work
distracts you and keeps you from being productive.
3.
Message alerts and phone ringers.
4.
When you work on important projects turn off
your phone ringer and message alerts.
5.
Short attention spans. Learn to focus. Use
instrumental music or white noise to help you quiet
your mind while working. Use headphones to block
out noise. Sit in areas where you won’t be easily
distracted.
6.
Social media. Learn to be proactive in your
social media engagement rather than reacting to
every comment made on your social media
account. Use it as a tool and not as an open door
for interruptions.
7.
The “tyranny of the urgent.” We are
impatient. We think everything needs to be done
right now. Good leadership involves learning how to
filter e-mails, interruptions, demands, and fun
opportunities.
to set a callback time for phone messages. Do not
immediately view every incoming text message.
3.
Lack of delegation. Which activities could
Procrastination. Unpleasant tasks will often
be avoided deliberately. Procrastinators usually are
prone to interruptions and actually invite them.
Perfectionism. We often spend too much
time on projects that result in wasted time,
neglecting to spend time on more critical areas.
5.
Lack of planning. Good leaders must plan
ahead. [Scott Thomas] suggests the following blocks
of time to plan ahead: Daily (30 min); Weekly (1 hr);
Monthly (1/2 day); Quarterly (1 day);Yearly (2-3
days)
6.
Lack of a gospel life plan. This may be
the greatest time waster of all, but it is also the
easiest to miss. No clear calling, no goals, and no
specific steps to accomplish your goals will result in
a bad stewardship of time. See Gospel Life Plan in
Appendix 1.
Your daily energy cycles. Be aware of
when you have the most/least amount of energy. Put
the most important tasks in your best block of
time. Put the least important tasks (email, FB, etc.) in
the other blocks.
THE TIME WASTERS and their descriptions come from the book Gospel Coach by Scott Thomas.