Introduction: living
extended family lives
Perhaps now more than ever it is hard to be
a child and tough to be a parent. Children are
told that they are unhappy, stressed or damaged
and parents are told that they are selfish,
irresponsible and failing. Whatever side of the
argument you are on, there is little doubt that
in report after report the emphasis is heavily
on the role that parents play, for good or ill,
in bringing up their children.
Rethinking Family Life / 1
The myth that the extended
family is ‘dead’ and the
preoccupation with the
nuclear family means we
miss the bigger picture
As a society we continue to hold the
nuclear model to be the preferred
family structure for raising children.
But as parents, children, aunts, uncles
and grandparents, we regularly reach
beyond our nuclear family model, or
are forced to through bereavement or
divorce, and live lives that look very
different. Increasingly evidence shows
that this nuclear family is only
sustainable with the support of the
wider family around it. Where the
two parent household has broken
down it is often grandparents and
the wider family who step in to fill
the gap, cushioning any adverse
experiences that children may have.
By focussing almost exclusively on the
role of parents we both fail to listen
to children, who repeatedly identify
grandparents and other family
members as key influencers in their
lives, and set parents up to fail. We
place even more pressure on mothers
and fathers, ignoring the wider family
altogether with commentators
perpetuating the cycle of negativity
around family life in which as a
parent the only question is not
whether but by how much you fail
your children.
At Grandparents Plus we
believe that the myth that the
extended family is ‘dead’ and
the preoccupation with the
nuclear family means we miss
the bigger picture. Perhaps most
worryingly for politicians, policy
makers and service providers, our
analysis suggests that they may be out
of touch with the reality of family life
in Britain today. In this report we have
2 / Rethinking Family Life
brought together evidence which
demonstrates that, one way or
another, we are all living extended
family lives. Economic and social
drivers mean that grandparents are
playing an ever-increasing role in
supporting family life and caring for
children. Families are extending
both horizontally as a result of the
increase in the number of step-family
relationships and vertically, because
of our ageing population, with four
and even five generation families not
uncommon. Through this changing
family picture the role that
grandparents and the wider family
plays is significant; but it can be
hidden, is often taken for granted
and is little understood.
This report gathers existing evidence
on grandparenting and the wider
family, but we acknowledge that the
evidence base is patchy and so while
building on the research that we do
have, we also point out some of the
gaps. Because of the breadth of the
ground that is covered here we do
not attempt to explore each issue in
depth. The aim is to demonstrate that
when taken together we can see the
wide range of ways in which
grandparents and the wider family
contribute to family life. Their role
has been under-explored to date.
We believe that developing a
clearer understanding of this
role and shaping policy to
support it is the next chapter
of family policy. Unless policy
makers and service providers grasp
the complexity of family life their
interventions will be less effective
and far less relevant. But most
importantly, children will
lose out.
01.Changing
family lives
Demographic change
There is no doubt that our population
is ageing. ONS figures1.1 confirm that
the number of over 65s has already
overtaken the number of under 16s.
By 2050 the number of over 85s will
have quadrupled from 1.1 million in
2000 to 4 million1.2. Women are
having children later in life while a
growing proportion are not having
children at all. To a certain extent the
decline in the working age population
has been offset by migration, but it is
unclear whether this trend will
continue during the recession.
While some women have children
later in life, and are likely to therefore
become grandparents at an older
age, other women become
grandparents at a relatively young
age. The average age at which
someone becomes a grandparent is
shifting and has been variously cited
in recent years at anywhere between
47 – 541.3. The boundaries between
ages and generations are becoming
even more blurred.
4m
1 3
the number of over 85s by 2050
in
grandparents have a dependent
child living with them
Rethinking Family Life / 3
1 3
in
is part of a step family
Different family structures
In the 2001 census one in 10 families
were stepfamilies1.4. They are now the
fastest growing family formation1.5. It
is thought that one in three of us is
part of a step-family1.6. With marriage
on the decline and the increase in
cohabitation and second and
subsequent family formations, the
interplay and overlaying nature of
family structures and relationships is
becoming ever more complex.
The Grandparents Association
calculate that there are 14 million
grandparents1.7. A third of
grandparents have a dependent child
living with them1.8 and half of
grandparents have a living parent of
their own1.9. The traditional image of
the sandwich generation woman (for
it is still women who provide most of
the care) is caring for children and
parents but she is increasingly likely to
be managing three generational
caring responsibilities, with the added
complexity that a step-family may
then bring.
4 / Rethinking Family Life
There is little advice and support
available to step-grandparents.
But it is a role full of challenges
and conflicting emotions. Just as
step-parents have to find a way of
developing a parental relationship
with their partner’s child, their own
parents in turn are facing similar
challenges. And it has implications
too for what children/step-children
and grandchildren/step-grandchildren
will be prepared to provide in terms
of care and support when the
time comes.
This multiplicity of roles
(simultaneously as mother, carer,
grandmother, step-grandmother)
and circumstances requires the family
to adapt and also means that the
nuclear model becomes less and less
relevant. Increasingly we live our lives
as family networks which may have a
nuclear “hub” at the centre but this
does not and cannot exist in isolation.
02.Grandparents
as carers
The extent of grandparental
childcare is considerable and
has grown significantly with the
increase in the number of women
(mothers) returning to work.
In 1971 just under 60% of women
were economically active. That figure
has now risen to almost 75%2.1.
Britain’s long working hours culture
makes our parents some of the most
‘time poor’ in Europe. Grandparents
have become the single biggest source
of childcare after the parents
themselves. A quarter of all families
rely on grandparents for childcare2.2.
Half of single parents depend on
them2.3.
Age Concern valued the childcare
contribution that grandparents make
at £3.9billion2.4. But an HSBC report
costed the amount parents would
spend on childcare (allowing for a
proportion who would otherwise use
nannies and other more expensive
forms of childcare) if they did not use
grandparents at a staggering £50
billion2.5. That is equal in size to the first
stage of the Treasury’s credit crunch
bank bail out.
An Institute of Education study found
that grandparents provide over 40%
of childcare for parents who are at
work or studying and over 70% of
childcare at other times2.6. Clearly
cost is a major factor, as affordable
childcare is still in short supply. A
recent Daycare Trust survey2.7 showed
that annual cost in England of a
nursery place for a child under two
has risen to £8,684. Despite the new
duty in the Childcare Act (2006) on
local authorities to ensure sufficient
childcare provision in their area
there is still a shortage of good
quality, flexible, affordable childcare.
£3.9bn
the value of the childcare
contribution grandparents make
Rethinking Family Life / 5
Supporting parents
The reason grandparents play such
a huge role in family life, particularly
childcare provision is because
parents and children need them to.
Recognising and valuing the role
that grandparents play is therefore
supporting parental choices and
behaviour. By failing to do so society
risks being out of touch with the
reality of family life.
The arrival of a new baby is the most
significant life-changing experience
for parents. Grandparents, particularly
maternal grandparents, often play
a particularly active role at this time.
Grandparents Plus’ survey2.8 found that
parents were more likely to turn to their
own mum or dad for advice about a
new baby than anyone else.
We believe that this role should be
recognised in a number of ways.
ACTION
Ensure that parents are given
a full twelve months of paid
parental leave that can be taken
by either the mother or the
father. This would ensure that
grandparents are not placed
under undue pressure to take
on significant periods of care
for their grandchildren.
Give working grandparents the
opportunity to work flexibly.
Introduce a two week period of
“granny leave” for working
grandparents so that they can be
involved in the care and support
of their families at this crucial time.
As the recession begins to bite hard
employers are understandably
resistant to any additional regulatory
requirements. But extending flexibility
on a voluntary basis, including periods
of leave for employees to support
their families in the way we are
suggesting here, could be a useful
way for businesses to address the
need to cut back on activity because
of reduced demand.
Single parents, in particular, regard
grandparental childcare as “the next
best thing”. Half of single parents rely
on grandparental childcare. A report
6 / Rethinking Family Life
for the Department of Work and
Pensions2.9 found that lone parents
placed particularly high value on their
role as a parent and this affected their
childcare choices. Grandparental
childcare is particularly trusted and
valued by them. This was cited as a
factor over and above cost. It was an
emotional decision as well as an
economic one. We want to
see government and service
providers do more to support
and facilitate family involvement
so that families can care for
themselves.
flexibility
Grandparents also tend to be more
flexible. They are often asked to fill
the gaps between formal childcare
and parental care. They will also
care for the child who is sick when
a nursery would refuse to have them.
Nurseries, extended schools and
childminders tend not to work beyond
6pm. For parents who work shifts or
irregular hours formal childcare simply
isn’t enough.
If a parent has a child with a disability,
they may have little or no option but to
ask grandparents to step in as suitable,
good quality formal childcare that can
meet the needs of disabled children is
in particularly short supply.
When parents place their child with
a grandparent they do so because
they believe that it will be the most
appropriate source of childcare for
their child. It is a legitimate choice for
them and one society should respect.
The growth in formal childcare
provision in recent years has not led
to the expected reduction in informal
childcare.
4 10
out of
parents are more likely to turn
to grandparents to provide help
with childcare in the current
economic climate
Other external drivers such as the
credit crunch and ensuing recession
suggest that as unemployment grows
parents may need less childcare
overall, but those who do will be
more likely to turn to informal
childcare in order to keep costs
down. Grandparents will be the ones
under pressure to provide that
childcare. Our own survey2.10 suggests
that over four out of 10 (44%) parents
are more likely to turn to grandparents
to provide help with childcare in the
current economic climate. As the table
on p11 shows, mothers employed in
professional, clerical and manual
work all used grandparental childcare
but those in less professional roles
and who are less well paid are more
likely to rely on grandparents.
Good quality childcare
There is considerable and conflicting
evidence about the impact of daycare
on very young children (under 3s).
Some commentators argue that
prolonged periods of care in a nursery
setting for very young children does
not give them the one to one care
they need. While a recent Institute of
Education report2.11 found that children
who had been in daycare from nine
months were more “school ready”
than those who had been cared for
by grandparents. For toddlers
the opportunity to interact and play
with other children becomes more
important for their development. The
study found that children cared for by
grandparents tended to have a good
vocabulary but were more likely to
demonstrate behavioural problems.
This is thought to be because they had
fewer opportunities to interact with
other children. At Grandparents
Plus we believe that we are
preparing children for life, not
just for school. School readiness is
therefore one measure but it doesn’t
reflect the full picture.
The Childcare Act (2006) states that
local authorities must take steps to
identify parents (the definition of
which includes all adults with care of
children) who would be unlikely to
take advantage of children’s services
in their area and to take steps to reach
them. It is important that service
providers recognise that grandparent
carers need to be reached so that the
children they care for can benefit from
the social interaction and facilities
available to them. Dedicated
grandparent-toddler groups are one
way of addressing this. Promoting
the services in a way which targets
grandparents is also critical. For
example services could be promoted
in post offices, supermarkets and
doctors surgeries.
ACTION
We want to see grandparents
proactively targeted and
encouraged to make full use
of children’s centres, Sure Start
and other local services so that
the children they care for can
benefit from what is available.
Case study
Westminster Children’s Society
Westminster Children's Society is
responsible for the early years
education of more than 600 children
in 18 community nurseries across
London, we are especially aware
of the challenges faced by the
increasing number of disconnected
families we support.
And with so many of our parents
returning to work having found
affordable childcare, the shared
support offered by available
grandparents is even more important and so positively encouraged by all
our nursery staff.
This may be a simple matter of making
our grandparents feel as welcome and
important as parents when they bring
or collect their grandchildren from our
nurseries or the number of projects we
foster, involving all generations from
across the local community.
A child's future opportunities are often
decided at a very early age, and we
believe the best possible start must
be for everyone involved - parents,
friends, extended family members and
childcare professionals - to work
closely together to secure that future.
Rethinking Family Life / 7
We believe that the vast majority
of parents will strive to make the
best choice for their child given
their own particular
circumstances. Some will have
supportive grandparents who are
able to help out. Others will not.
Some will have good quality nursery
provision which suits their working
hours while others will struggle to find
what they need from formal provision.
Most families will also be facing the
financial reality that they cannot
afford for one parent to stay at home,
relying on just one income, whether
they want to or not.
Whatever form of childcare parents
choose it should be recognised and
supported. This includes informal
childcare. The fact is that parents
make a positive choice when they use
informal childcare because they feel
their child is loved and well cared for
in that setting. For some families that
will always be their preference and as
a society we should respect, value
and support that. But importantly, the
emphasis on parental choice has to
be balanced by the grandparent’s
right to say ‘no’. Parents can
reasonably request grandparental
help with childcare but grandparents
can equally reasonably refuse. We
must also consider the impact on the
future of childcare provision of future
generations of grandparents being
less willing or able to provide it.
6 10
out of
people agree grandparents
should be paid for childcare
8 / Rethinking Family Life
Recognition for
grandparental care
The care that grandparents provide
has too often been excluded from the
childcare debate when in fact they
are still the single biggest source of
childcare after the parents themselves.
If we are going to recognise the role
that grandparents play in caring for
children, particularly if parents are
enabled to return to work then we
need to address the question of the
form that recognition may take. The
“commodification” of care is not a
straightforward issue and must be
considered carefully. An arrangement
that has been a private matter then
becomes public as soon as it is
quantified and a value placed on it.
But if we do not adopt this approach
grandparents and the families they
care for will be no better off as a
result. Attaching a monetary value to
the informal care provided by
grandparents is therefore essential
to society valuing it at all.
Payment
Nine out of 10 (92%) grandparents
are not paid for the childcare they
provide2.12. Nor do they qualify for
the childcare tax credit, so parents
cannot claim any financial help in
order to pay them. The only way a
grandparent can qualify is if they
take steps to become registered as
a childminder, including registering
to care for children who are not their
grandchildren. So as a society we
have the anomaly that the most
popular form of childcare is also
the least recognised. Six out of 10
(61%) people, including seven out
of 10 (70%) mothers agree that
grandparents should receive some
kind of reward or payment from the
state for providing childcare2.13.
3 10
out of
grandparents are of working age
On the other hand, many
grandparents readily acknowledge
that they care for their grandchildren
for ‘love not money’ and some would
be offended by the offer of payment
either directly from their son/daughter
or indirectly from the state for the
service they provide. The cost of
paying grandparents would be
significant, even if we were to adopt
the approach of paying them at a
reduced rate as recommended by the
Centre for Social Justice2.14. There is
the added consideration that those
who are already retired would not
expect to be economically active
themselves so the opportunity cost for
them and for the economy of the care
they provide is less than it would be
for those who would otherwise be in
paid work. However many will expect
and prefer to be doing other things
with their time, so there is an
opportunity cost to them, they also
free up their son or daughter to return
to work. But most importantly, the
caring contribution they make
has an intrinsic value in itself.
Case study
German grandparents are being
offered the opportunity to take
paid time off work to care for
grandchildren under new legislation
which came into force in January
2009. Grandparents will be allowed
to request leave from work if they can
prove their support is needed to raise
the children because the child's parent
is studying or in training. Teenage
pregnancy is a growing problem in
Germany with over 6,100 children
born to under 18s in 2006.2.15
ACTION
Grandparents Plus believes that
parental childcare choices
should be fully recognised and
supported. Parents should be able
to claim childcare tax credits for
the childcare that grandparents
provide if it enables them to work.
Case study
Rashmi is married and works full
time as a telesales advisor. She
has an 18 month old son. Rashmi’s
mum and dad care for their
grandson 9am-6pm every day
so that she can go to work. She has
to work to keep up her mortgage
payments. Her parents are in their
50s and both feel they should be
entitled to some financial recognition
for the contribution they make.
Rashmi says, “We cannot afford
childcare. My parents help because
they see me struggling.”
Existing evidence suggests that three
out of 10 grandparents are of
working age2.16. It could be argued
that those grandparents who give up
work or reduce their working hours in
order to provide childcare are making
a bigger sacrifice than those who are
already retired. Their own income will
probably be reduced. Their pension
provision may be adversely affected
if they have incomplete contribution
records. Unlike parents of children
under 12 or other carers there is
currently no provision in the
forthcoming pension reforms which
take effect from April 2010 for
grandparents to be given a credit
towards their basic state pension if
they provide substantial periods of
care. This is defined as twenty hours
per week or more. This group of
grandparents is also likely to grow as
state retirement age shifts to 67, 68
and beyond. Yet there is no research
to identify how many are in this
situation, what their National
Insurance contribution records might
be and how much care this group of
grandparents in particular is providing
on a weekly basis.
Rethinking Family Life / 9
ACTION
Grandparents Plus is calling for
all working age grandparents
to be entitled to a credit
towards their National
Insurance contributions in the
same way as parents, foster
carers and carers of disabled
adults if they provide care for
20 hours per week or more.
Rewarding care with care
The caring contribution that
grandparents make is substantial.
If they are not to be paid at the
point of providing that care, what
alternative form of recognition
might be possible? Reports by
ILC UK2.17 and others shows that our
ageing population has placed the
intergenerational contract under
strain, particularly in terms of
pension provision but also because
of the pressing need to reform social
care. But unless we recognise the true
value of grandparental childcare the
intergenerational contract is
incomplete.
55%
agree grandparents should
have right to request flexible
working
We believe that grandparental
childcare is an intrinsic part of
the intergenerational exchange
of care and resources. Therefore
as part of any reformed social
care system, the care that
grandparents provide today
should credit them towards the
care they may need for
themselves tomorrow. This would
not take the form of a cash payment,
but rather a repayment in the form of
discounted care for the contribution
that they have already made.
We know that we are all expected to
live longer and with more complex
health needs. Reports from Counsel
and Care2.18 and others argue that the
existing social care system is
unsustainable. As a result we are all
going to be expected to contribute
more towards our own care. But the
unpaid caring contribution we may
have made earlier in our lives should
count. It should ensure that we benefit
from a reduction in the cost of that
care when we come to pay for it. In
this way periods of care could be
‘banked’ throughout our lives. Parents
would not have to pay for
grandparental childcare and
grandparents would know that
whenever they needed personal social
care their own caring contribution will
help to offset some of the cost of that
care. It is not uncommon for older
people to have to sell their homes to
pay for the care they need. This
approach would also help to
safeguard their property as a legacy
for their children and grandchildren
while at the same time being consistent
with the need to encourage personal
responsibility and the philosophy of
‘something for something’.
ACTION
We want to see further
exploration of intergenerational
reciprocity to establish how we
could reward care with care to
find appropriate alternative
forms of recognition for a
grandparent’s caring
contribution.
10 / Rethinking Family Life
Use of types of care by occupation of employed mothers
Employed mothers'
childcare usage
Mother’s occupation
Managers
Assoc
& Prof
Prof
Admin
& Clerical
Skilled
manual
Personal
& Sales
Semi Skilled
& Unskilled
All GB
total
%
Looks after child, self
4.4
3.1
6.7
9.5
8.6
4.9
5.8
Father looks after
19.5
32.5
22.9
36.7
44.0
53.4
32.5
Grandparent
34.1
42.4
52.3
54.2
50.8
43.8
45.0
Formal provider
64.6
51.1
33.7
26.1
17.7
6.6
37.2
Maximum unweighted
sample size
1490
1178
1460
115
1770
850
6863
Sample: All MCS-1 employed mothers. Weighted by GB weight. Multiple response allowed.2.19
Access to flexible working
Even, and perhaps, especially during
the current recession some employers
approach flexibility as a way of
working that can help their business
cope with the changing circumstances,
rather than simply a ‘perk’ or
concession made to a particular group.
Parents of children under six and
carers of disabled adults have the right
to request flexible working, and the
government is due to extend that right
to parents of older children, but rather
than apply it to only those groups
employers often find that it is easier
and fairer to operate if everyone has it.
Older workers may want to work more
flexibly as they approach retirement;
others may want to a better work life
balance to do voluntary work, to study
or simply because they want more
leisure time.
The Equal Opportunities Commission’s
investigation into flexible working2.20
Enter the Timelords: transforming work
to meet the future documented how
employers are approaching flexibility.
In many workplaces flexible working
is about how an organisation or a
business runs itself. The right to request
flexible working is not applied as a
concession being made to a particular
group. Nor does everyone seek the
same kind of flexibility. Some will
want to flex their hours, others their
location. In practice a small degree
of flexibility can make a big
difference to the sustainability of
someone’s employment and the
viability of a business.
A NatCen study2.21 found that both
grandparents and parents were more
likely to enjoy providing childcare when
it was part-time or when they could
work flexibly. Grandparents at work
may feel under pressure to help their
own children, particularly with the
arrival of a new baby or at times of
crisis, but they have no right to request
flexible working and it probably would
not occur to them to make that request.
Most employers will not know how
many grandparents are in their
workplaces nor who would benefit from
this flexibility. But it is almost certainly
more than they realise. We are urging
employers who already operate flexible
working policies to extend them to
grandparents. The most efficient way to
do this would actually be to extend
flexible working to all staff.
Rethinking Family Life / 11
Summary:
We need to recognise and value the
substantial caring contribution
that grandparents make.
We want to see:
1. Paid parental leave of up to 12
months that mothers or fathers
could afford to take would ensure
that the first year of a child’s life is
spent in the care of at least one
parent. This would also enable
grandparents to help out without
feeling under pressure to step in
to provide childcare.
2. Employers who already have
flexible working practices
extending flexibility to
grandparents. The most efficient
way to do this would be to extend
flexibility to everyone.
3. Special family leave or “granny
leave” for grandparents of up to
two weeks which could be taken at
any point in the child’s first year.
As a first step this could be
introduced on a voluntary basis.
4. Parental childcare choices fully
recognised and supported. Parents
should be able to claim childcare
tax credits for the childcare that
grandparents provide if it enables
them to return to work.
12 / Rethinking Family Life
5. Grandparents proactively targeted
and encouraged to make full use
of children’s centres, Sure Start
and other local services so that the
children they care for can benefit
from what is available.
6. An end to the pensions penalty.
A weekly grandparents National
Insurance credit to ensure that
working age grandparents who
provide care for children for 20
hours per week or more are
treated in the same way as
parents, foster carers and carers
of disabled adults.
7. Further exploration of
intergenerational reciprocity to
establish how we could reward
care with care to find appropriate
alternative forms of recognition
for a grandparent’s caring
contribution.
03.Grandparents
providing family
support
Filling the parent gap
Perceptions of the contribution
grandparents make in the lives
of their grandchildren usually
focus on their role with younger
children, particularly in terms of
childcare.
The Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents
and Children3.1 found an association
between grandparental closeness and
child adjustment when children were on
average nine years old but at age 14
that link had disappeared. But new
research3.2 has found that grandparents
do play a significant, if different role in
the lives of their teenage grandchildren.
In fact grandparents are increasingly
becoming replacement partners where
one parent is absent, or assuming
greater proportion of the parental role
where both parents are “time poor”
and cannot fulfil that role themselves.
1/2
of grandparents involved
in teenagers’ schools
For example, half (52%) of the
teenagers in the study reported
grandparental involvement in their
school, which given the age of the
children (11-16) is particularly high.
Grandparents were helping with
problems such as bullying or
attending school events like parental
consultations or sports days.
Rethinking Family Life / 13
Maternal grandparents played a
larger role than paternal grandparents
with more than eight out of 10
teenagers saying that maternal
grandmothers discussed their future
plans with them and gave ‘good
advice’ for problems. Outside of their
immediate family almost nine out of
10 teenagers rated their maternal
grandmother as the most important
person, closely followed by maternal
grandfather, paternal grandmother
and paternal grandfather.
69%
of grandparents live within 10
miles of their grandchildren
There has been a trend for families
to become increasingly geographically
separated but this is not as
pronounced as we may think. The
popular belief that grandparents live
some distance from their grandchildren
is not borne out by the evidence. One
study found that seven out of 10 (69%)
live within 10 miles of their
grandchildren3.3 while a recent DCSF
report3.4 cites four in 10 grandparents
living within 15 minutes of their
grandchildren and seeing them several
times each week.
Buffers in times of crisis
A growing body of evidence shows that
grandparents provide vital support for
parents and grandchildren, particularly
in times of need or family disruption.
A key time of crisis for children is when
parents separate. It is thought that
nearly half of all children in the UK will
see their parents divorce3.5. Although
divorce rates are actually falling (from
over 153,000 in 2003 to 128,000 in
20073.6) and have reached their lowest
level for 28 years, the overall picture
on separation is complicated by the
growing number of cohabiting couples,
rising from 9% of all families in 1971
to 14% in 20063.7.
14 / Rethinking Family Life
The proportion of births outside
marriage has also risen from 12% in
1980 to 44% of all births in 2007
and continues to grow3.8. We know
that cohabiting couples are more
likely to separate.
It can be problematic to generalise
here as there will always be examples
of grandparents who are a negative
influence in these situations, but
research3.9 has found that
grandparental involvement is
significantly associated with reduced
maladjustment in families experiencing
divorce or separation. They act as
“buffers” to mitigate against some of
the negative effects, providing essential
anchors and continuity for children
when everything else around them
may be changing. They also provide
increasing support for parents,
particularly maternal grandparents for
single mothers. Conversely paternal
grandparents may also be the ones
to help facilitate communication
between their sons and their former
partners, encouraging contact.
ACTION
Recognising the importance of
communication and also the role
of grandparents as influencers
in their families, we want to see
more family counselling and
mediation services involving
grandparents and also targeting
them with their services.
Financial support
Evidence suggests that where
grandparents are able to do so, they
provide considerable financial support
for their grandchildren. Indeed some
are helping grandchildren more than
their own children. The practice of
“inheritance skipping” is becoming
more widespread. It has been
estimated that £4 billion a year
is already inherited by second
generations3.10. In a recent survey 31%
of grandparents had put money aside
to help get their grandchildren on the
property ladder. A recent HSBC
study3.11 found that 16% of
grandparents in their 60s and one
third of grandparents in their 70s
provide financial support to
grandchildren. Grandparents are also
contributing £470 million to Child
Trust Funds each year with one in 10
making monthly direct debit
contributions3.12.
£4bn
a year is already inherited by
second generations
Older generations are often providing
more financial support than they are
receiving from family and friends.
The recession means that families are
becoming even more dependent upon
grandparental help.
A Grandparents Plus YouGov3.13
survey found that almost one
third (30.5%) of parents said
that in the current financial
situation they were either likely
or very likely to turn to their own
mum or dad for financial help.
Summary:
Grandparents are playing an increasing
role in supporting family life, filling the
parenting gap in a variety of ways,
particularly in times of crisis.
We want to see:
1. more family counselling and
mediation services involving
grandparents and also targeting
them with their services.
Rethinking Family Life / 15
16 / Rethinking Family Life
04.Grandparents
as influencers
6 10
out of
parents say in the recession
they are increasingly likely to
turn to grandparents for advice
and support.
Influencing parents
We have already outlined above
the ways in which grandparents can
influence parents at times of crisis,
particularly during separation and
divorce. But grandparents can also
hold sway over parents’ day to day
choices and behaviour. Parents tell us
that they regularly turn to grandparents
for advice and information. When
asked who they would go to for advice
about their child’s health and fitness
one third (32%)4.1 said their own mum
or dad ahead of friends, the internet
or other media. In the recession
parents are increasingly likely to turn
to grandparents for advice and support
with almost six out of 10 (57%) saying
they are either likely or very likely
to do so4.2.
Perhaps the most significant point of
grandparental influence over parents
is when a baby is born. Grandparents
were by far the biggest influencer at
this point, ahead of doctors, other
healthcare professionals, friends and
family members. Over six out of 10
(63%) parents said that their own mum
or dad was important in supporting
them and their immediate family when
they had a baby4.3.
Explicitly targeting grandparents with
advice and information is therefore
critical to reaching parents. Yet
government campaigns such as the
Department of Health’s Change for
Life campaign repeatedly fail to do
this and as a result risk limiting their
impact and effectiveness.
ACTION
We want to see all relevant
government campaigns,
particularly those aimed at
changing parental or family
behaviour, including a strategy
for reaching and influencing
grandparents.
Rethinking Family Life / 17
Educating children
Researchers4.4 have found that
increasing grandparental involvement
(ie more than closeness) is associated
with better child adjustment and fewer
peer problems. Sharing a
grandchild’s hobbies and interests
or grandparents involvement in
school and education indicated a
lower maladjustment score than those
who did not have that degree of
involvement. Significantly, these
relationships then translate into caring
relationships with grandparents and
older people later in life.
A range of factors predicted
grandparental involvement including
the child’s age (the younger the child,
the more involved grandparents
were), living in a less deprived area,
frequent contact, good grandparental
health and grandparent-grandchild
closeness. Geographical proximity
was not necessarily important as new
technology overcomes these barriers.
Parents are important gate keepers
to these relationships. Where the
relationship with either parent breaks
down or becomes problematic then
the grandparent is more likely to
experience problems with contact
(see chapter 6 below).
Passing on knowledge and skills
through the generations is also a
vital role for grandparents. For
example, passing on nutritional
information and cooking skills to
children may be challenging for
time-poor parents, but could be a
practical role for grandparents to
play which in turn helps to combat
childhood obesity. Grandparents are
significant educators, from teaching
very young children to read and
write through to soft social skills
for teenagers, from history lessons
through to practical know how.
Children are sometimes more likely
to listen to grandparents while
parents may struggle to be heard.
18 / Rethinking Family Life
1 10
in
children now are mixed race
Shaping communities
Recent research for the Equality and
Human Rights Commission found that
one in 10 of all children are now
mixed race4.5. This presents challenges
for cultural and personal identity and
requires greater focus on what gives
us our identity and what we need to
carry forward with us in to future
generations. Grandparents and the
wider family provide a living cultural
heritage that children may need.
Understanding our past is
fundamental to understanding
ourselves, giving us a stronger sense
of personal security and identity.
So by simply facilitating wider family
involvement and supporting those
family ties we may improve
community cohesion.
A lack of understanding, leading
to conflict between generations
undermines community cohesion.
Because older people and young
people share a greater risk of living
in poverty and are more likely to lack
social capital, intergenerational
practice to date has tended to focus
on these two groups but not consider
the need for a multigenerational
approach that looks at bringing a
range of generations together.
Community cohesion has also failed
to include family intergenerational
experiences as part of that community
picture when in fact they are
inextricably linked. Communities
are built on families.
We believe that by adopting
an approach that builds on the
wider family within communities
we will achieve a more
representative, realistic
and inclusive approach to
intergenerational practice.
Children’s centres could be a focus
for this activity and become family
centres with a particular focus on
contact between the generations.
The forthcoming statutory duty on
public bodies to promote equality,
including on grounds of age will
mean that local authorities and other
service providers will have to take
steps to address the effects of age
discrimination within their
communities. Ageism is one of
the most pernicious forms of
discrimination. Without resource to
promote the new legislation and to
raise awareness we are unlikely to
realise the cultural change that is
needed. This is important for both
young and old alike.
Summary:
Grandparents are major
influencers on parent and child
behaviour and also help to shape
communities.
We want to see:
1. All relevant government
campaigns, particularly those
aimed at changing parental or
family behaviour, including a
strategy for reaching and
influencing grandparents.
3. Children’s centres become
family centres with a particular
focus on contact between the
generations.
4. Community cohesion initiatives
include a focus on the role of
the wider family.
2. A campaign to promote
forthcoming age discrimination
legislation, to raise awareness
and to promote a culture of
respect for older and younger
people.
Rethinking Family Life / 19
20 / Rethinking Family Life
05.Family and
friends care
A recent Grandparents Plus
YouGov5.1 poll asked parents
of children under 18 who they
would most trust to look after
the welfare of their child if they
were ever unable to care for
them themselves. Their own mum
or dad came top at 65%, closely
followed by other family at 56%
and friends at 27%. This was
consistent across all ages,
although significantly higher
for parents aged 18-34 with
three out of four (74%) preferring
grandparents. Almost no one
(1%) opted for care to be
provided by children’s services.
Yet the evidence shows that
where children’ s services place
children into foster care only
16% are with family and friends
carers5.2. The rest are placed into
non-relative foster care. Here we
explore the reasons for that, we
consider the benefits of family
and friends care and suggest
ways in which grandparents
and other carers could be
better supported.
200,000
grandparents in the UK caring
for grandchildren full-time
What is family and friends
(“kinship”) care?
It is thought that there are 200,000
grandparents in the UK caring
for their grandchildren full-time5.3.
The term ‘kinship carer’ covers a
wide range of relationships to the
child but grandparents, particularly
grandmothers, followed by aunts and
uncles on the maternal side are the
main carers. There are a number of
different care arrangements that can
be made.
Rethinking Family Life / 21
Private fostering
This is where a parent makes a private
agreement with another adult, usually
a family member, to care for their
child. Often local authorities are
unaware of these arrangements
although legally parents are obliged
to inform them if the care lasts more
than 28 days. There is a concern about
private arrangements of which local
authorities remain unaware as there is
no way of determining whether or not
they are in fact in children’s best
interests.
Family and friends care
This is the care of a looked after
child within the extended family or
social network. This applies to any
arrangement in which a child is cared
for full-time by family or friends but
they are not recognised by the local
authority as foster carers. This
arrangement is quite common but
usually does not trigger any financial
support for the carer.
Family and friends foster care
This indicates the involvement of
children’s services. The child is being
cared for by family or friends who
have been recognised by the local
authority as foster carers. As a result
the carer should receive financial
support. However, practice varies
widely between local authorities. A
survey of local authorities in 2003
found that less than half had specific
guidelines on kinship care5.4. The
confusion means that lawyers are
increasingly succeeding in challenging
local authority practice.
6 10
out of
children in kinship care have
been exposed to alcohol and
drug misuse
Why do family and friends
carers step in?
There are a number of different
circumstances in which grandparents
and other carers step in, for example,
parental alcohol and substance
misuse, death or illness, domestic
violence or imprisonment. We
explore three main causes here.
Alcohol and substance misuse
200,000 – 300,000 children in
England and Wales have at least one
parent with a serious drug problem5.5.
1.3 million children in the UK are
affected by parental alcohol
problems5.6. Only 37% of fathers and
64% of mothers who misuse drugs still
live with their children5.7. One of the
biggest causes of parents being unable
to care for their children is parental
alcohol and substance abuse. Farmer
and Moyers5.8 found that 60% of the
children who were cared for by family
and friends had been exposed to
alcohol and substance misuse. Others
experience domestic violence, parental
imprisonment, illness and bereavement
or a combination of these things. By
the time that grandparents or other
family members take over the care of
children they often display emotional
and behavioural difficulties at a
significantly higher rate than children
in the general population, but similar
to those children placed in non-relative
foster care.
ACTION
Because alcohol and substance
misuse is such a significant factor
in many of these cases we want
to see the welfare of children of
problem substance users
promoted across all drug and
alcohol strategies at a national,
regional and local level.
This means recognising the additional
support that family and friends carers
may need to educate children about
the risks of alcohol and substance
misuse when they may have already
been significantly exposed to it and
may perceive it to be “normal”.
Imprisonment
Government research has found that
maintaining family contact has a
significant impact on the successful
resettlement of, and likelihood of
22 / Rethinking Family Life
reoffending by ex-prisoners5.9. Prisoners
who receive visits from their families
are twice as likely to gain employment
and three times more likely to have a
home to go to when they are released.
7%5.10 of children will see a parent
imprisoned during their school years
and about 160,0005.11 children each
year have a parent sent to custody.
Grandparents play a significant role
in caring for children when parents,
particularly mothers, are imprisoned.
The number of women in prison has
more than doubled in recent years5.12.
Women offenders tend to be
imprisoned for relatively minor
offences but the impact on the family
is significant because of their role as
main carer. Because there are only a
small number of women prisons they
are also more likely to be held some
distance from their families, reducing
the opportunities for regular visits.
Without a grandparent or another
family member top step in children
will be taken into care. Currently
information about children with a
parent in prison is not reliably or
routinely recorded, and children
of prisoners are not treated as a
potentially vulnerable group.
Bereavement
Winston’s Wish calculates that every
30 minutes, a child in the UK is
bereaved of a parent5.13. It is estimated
that at least 250,000 children and
young people are growing up after
the death of their mum or dad5.14. In
the absence of a surviving parent
many of these children will be cared
for by grandparents or other family
members. Their particular feelings
of loss and bereavement will be
compounded by the grandparent’s
own loss as it may be their child who
has died. Families in these situations
need support and counselling.
Grandparents need guidance to help
them to support their grandchildren in
an age appropriate way through this
experience. Like other kinship carers,
they will need financial support,
particularly if the bereavement is
sudden. These families may be
unknown to children’s services but
they will almost certainly be in touch
with a GP, hospital or local school
for example.
ACTION
We want to see all relevant
professionals equipped to direct
families to any counselling and
practical support that may be
available to them.
kinship care –
ten common experiences
• Relationships change, grandparents
become parents, things get
complicated
• They share a sense of loss with the
child they care for
• It is unclear who is in control –
who has parental responsibility?
• They didn’t plan to become
kinship carers
• They do not fit in to the fostering
and adoption system
• They receive little or no information
• They receive little or no money
• They receive little or no advice
and support
• Their own lives, health, income
and well-being are affected
• They don’t feel they have a choice
What does the law say about
kinship care?
The Children Act (1989) prioritises
family and friends placements, directing
that when a child is looked after away
from home the local authority “shall
make arrangements enabling him to
live with a relative, friend, or other
person connected with him unless that
would not be reasonably practical or
consistent with his welfare”.
This requirement is then reinforced
by guidance which stipulates that “if
young people cannot remain at home,
placement with relatives or friends
should be explored before other
forms of placement are considered”.
16%
of children in local authority
foster care are living with family
or friends care
Rethinking Family Life / 23
Despite this clear direction, the
evidence suggests that family and
friends care is not being used to
the degree that it could and should.
Farmer and Moyers5.15 found that only
4% of placements were instigated by
social workers. The same study found
that in almost 6 out of 10 (57%) cases
where stranger placements were used,
family and friends care was not even
considered. Latest DCSF data indicates
that 16 % of children in local authority
foster care are living with family and
friends carers5.16.
The Children and Young Person’s Act
(2008) reasserts the role of kinship
care in an attempt to achieve what the
Children Act 1989 did not. Much will
depend on the clarity of the guidance
accompanying the legislation, but after
20 years of legislation with limited
effect, there must be other barriers
getting in the way.
What are the barriers?
Age discrimination
Grandparents in our grandparents
Raising Grandchildren Network
routinely claim that they are told by
social workers that they are “too old”
to care for their grandchild. Currently
there is nothing illegal about this form
of discrimination. A child may have
experienced considerable loss or
disruption in their lives so professionals
sometimes conclude that the risk of
losing a grandparent would be more
disruptive to the child than placing
them into non-relative foster care.
But they may be basing their decision
on a stereotype of what they believe
an older person may or may not be
capable of. Even if grandparents have
health problems it does not necessarily
mean they are incapable of caring for
their grandchild. Part of the process of
placing children would include
planning for the child in the event
of the serious illness or death of the
kin carer. Additionally, this assessment
fails to recognise that removing
children from or failing to place them
in the care of those who know them
and with whom they may have an
established relationship is
also a form of loss.
New legislation in the forthcoming
equality bill is expected to outlaw age
discrimination in goods facilities and
services.
24 / Rethinking Family Life
ACTION
We want to see children’s services
covered by this new law to
ensure that grandparents can
challenge these decisions.
A question of judgement
Deciding to place a child into the care
of family and friends requires careful
consideration of the circumstances and
the evidence including the risk to the
child. We know from high profile cases
such as Victoria Climbié that relatives
can and do abuse children. These
judgements are not easy ones to make
and require considerable professional
expertise. In many ways placing a
child into non-relative foster care is
regarded as the “safer” option, despite
all the evidence which shows the
negative impact it has on a child’s
life chances. It is also a way of
professionals avoiding the need for
a thorough and lengthy assessment.
Yet we know that looked after children
are far less likely than other children
to achieve 5 A*-C GCSEs (12%
compared to 59% for all children5.17),
they are also more likely to have a
mental health disorder. 30% of care
leavers aged 19 are not in education,
employment or training (NEET)5.18.
Social workers’ judgement can be
clouded by the stigma that attaches
itself to a family. If a parent has a
poor or abusive relationship with
their child then the assumption is that
must be the fault of the grandparent,
so they cannot be suitable carers.
Professionals can also be steered
away from kinship care simply
because the impression they have
of the family may be driven by the
parent’s own poor relationship with
the grandparent. It is important
therefore that social workers do not
form a view of the family without
speaking to family members.
Family group conferencing has proven
to be a useful way of considering the
options for family and friends care
either before or soon after a child is
taken into local authority care. This is
where social workers bring interested
parties, including the extended family,
together to discuss the welfare of the
child and discuss his/her future.
ACTION
We want local authorities to
give all families access to family
group conferencing either before
or, in emergency situations,
immediately after a child is
taken into care.
This would almost certainly result
in an increase in family and friends
placements.
If parents are found to be abusing
the child, or to have a drug problem
then social workers may conclude
that grandparents in turn must be
the cause of the problem rather than
the solution. Yet there is evidence5.19
to challenge this. Even in circumstances
where the grandparent’s relationship
with the parent may have been
extremely problematic they can
still provide suitable care for their
grandchild.
Grandparents Plus believes that
we need to equip social workers
to make those difficult
judgements and support the
profession to develop a confident
approach to kinship care. The
collective professional knock to their
self-esteem as a result of the reporting
of the baby P case is not in children’s
best interests because we need them
to be able to exercise those difficult
judgements.
Because of the disproportionate
amount of time social workers spend
on paperwork and processes they
are unable to carry out the kind of
complex family work demanded by
kinship care.
ACTION
We want professionals to be
supported through a strategic
allocation of resources to give
them regular opportunities for
high quality kinship care training
at both operational and
managerial levels.
Inappropriate assessments
It is likely that a family and friends
carer may not “fit” the profile of an
acceptable foster placement. They
may smoke, or their house may be
too small. They may have a long-term
health condition or may lack the skills
to parent a child with significant
behavioural problems. By assessing
kinship carers in the same way as nonrelative foster carers social workers
may deem them to be unsuitable.
While in turn grandparents and family
members may be offended by the fact
that they are being treated as if they
had no relationship with the child. But
this is because the assessment they are
using is inappropriate for family and
friends carers. It is like fitting a square
peg into a round hole.
ACTION
We want to see every local
authority develop a tailored
kinship care assessment that
recognises that this form of care
is qualitatively different from
stranger foster care.
Case study
Hampshire County Council
Kinship Care Project
Hampshire County Council runs a
dedicated kinship care project which
works with family and friends carers
who are not registered as foster carers.
The children are those who need to
live away from home and who are
assessed as Children in Need (under
the Children Act Section 17). Family
Group Conferences are used to make
plans for the child whilst grandparents
or other close relatives take on the care
of the child. Parents retain parental
responsibility whilst planning with their
relatives for the care of the child. The
child does not need to come into the
care system. Kinship carers are then
offered a means-tested weekly kinship
allowance. They receive one to one
support from a kinship care support
worker and have access to support
groups. The carers’ support needs are
assessed. They have access to
parenting support programmes,
training and information days and
access to the fostering services core
training.
Rethinking Family Life / 25
Inappropriate conduct
Grandparents regularly tell us that they
feel pressurised and even threatened by
social workers to take children in to
their care. At a Grandparents Raising
Grandchildren Network meeting in
Mansfield, Nottinghamshire in
February 2009, a common experience
of the grandparents in the room was
being told that their grandchild is
“very adoptable”. In response to this
grandparents often agree to take the
child at a moment’s notice rather than
place them into foster care amid fear
that they could be put up for adoption.
They are not told about the options
available to them.
ACTION
This kind of bullying behaviour
is completely unacceptable and
strongly highlights the need for
kinship care training. We want
to see an immediate end to
this practice.
What are the options for family
and friends carers?
A residence order applies until the
child is 16 but does not usually bring
with it additional financial support for
family and friends carers. Parental
responsibility remains with the parents.
A special guardianship order lasts until
the child is 18 unless it is revoked by
the court. The special guardian has
parental responsibility and can make
all decisions about the child. Special
guardians are entitled to claim means
tested benefits and also to receive child
benefit. They can also claim assistance
with the cost of supporting contact with
the child’s parents and also services
support for the child and themselves.
An adoption order transfers parental
responsibility to the child’s adoptive
family and is not revocable.
What are the benefits of family
and friends care?
This is a complex picture but the
evidence does point to some tangible
benefits of family and friends care
for children.
26 / Rethinking Family Life
Attachment and placement stability
Children placed into family and friends
care are more likely to feel secure,
happy and integrated into the family
than those placed into non-relative
foster care. Many of the carers have
strong ties with the children. One
study found that they were twice as
likely to be highly committed to the
child as stranger foster-carers.5.20
Placements also tend to last longer
and are more stable.
Maintaining relationships
By remaining within their extended
family children are more likely to
retain existing links with family and
friends, to maintain their own culture
and to stay in the same area or the
same school. They are also more
likely to remain with their siblings
and maintain contact with at least
one parent. If for some reason the
placement breaks down then children
are more likely to move to another
relative, sustaining their relationships
and minimising disruption
Quality of care
Evidence here is mixed. Farmer and
Moyers5.21 found that family and friends
carers were more likely to have poor
parenting skills and substantially more
of them than non-relative foster carers
were struggling to cope. Despite this
the vast majority of placements were
judged to be positive for the child
(73%) or adequate (14%). Hunt found
that only one in 5 (20%) of kinship
placements raised any major issues5.22.
Child well-being
Despite receiving less support than
children living with non-relative foster
carers children living in kinship care
appear to do at least as well, with
some research5.23 suggesting that they
do better. Hunt’s research found that
almost half (47%) of the children in
family and friends placements were
doing relatively well with only one in
5 (19%) having problems with more
than two measures. However there
have been no longitudinal studies
comparing outcomes for children in
family and friends care with those in
non-relative foster care.
ACTION
As a priority we would like to
see the Department for Children
Schools and Families invest in
improving the evidence base
on kinship care.
8 10
out of
believe that kinship carers
should receive financial support
What do family and friends
carers need?
Recognition
Kinship care is an essential part of
the framework of care and support.
But it is a different form of care to
non-relative foster care and it should
be recognised as such and given its
own status.
Financial support
Farmer and Moyers found evidence
of financial hardship in three out of
four (75%) cases5.24. Family and friends
carers often find that they receive no
financial support for the children they
care for, despite stepping in a shortnotice to provide full-time care. Often
grandparents report that they thought
they would get financial help but then
receive nothing. In many cases local
authorities children’s services will
only provide financial assistance if
they have assessed the carer as a
family and friends foster carer.
Less formal arrangements do not
qualify for any help.
In our YouGov5.25 poll we asked
the general public whether
grandparents and other family
members who step in to care
for a child for more than 28 days
should be entitled to financial
help from the state with the
cost. eight out of 10 people
agreed, over a third (36%)
strongly agreed.
As well as a need for ongoing support,
there are considerable immediate
financial costs associated with taking
on the care of a child, such as buying
a bed, clothing or other personal
items. Yet kinship carers cannot claim
any assistance with these costs.
Grandparents or family members
who want to obtain a legal order to
safeguard a child do not qualify for
legal aid, and so have to meet the
cost themselves. We believe this is
unacceptable and want to see
grandparents and other family
carers given access to pubic funding
in these circumstances.
ACTION
We believe the lack of financial
support for families in these
situations is unacceptable.
We want to see:
children raised by grandparents
and other family members
treated as children in need
to ensure that they have all
necessary support, including
financial support.
family and friends who are
raising a child who cannot
live with their parents for
more than 28 days entitled
to a national allowance.
family and friends carers
eligible for grants to help
with one off costs.
family and friends carers
qualify for legal aid to apply
for a legal order to safeguard
a child.
Rethinking Family Life / 27
Advice and information
It is left to voluntary sector advice
services to fill the information gap for
family and friends carers. The legal
and benefits system is extremely
complicated and people need help
to deal with it, particularly at a time
(such as the death of their own child
or their alcohol or substance misuse)
when they may be experiencing
considerable stress and distress
themselves. Local authorities should
be required to provide information
and advice to family and friends
carers, including informing them of
their options and their rights when
faced with the choice of stepping in
to provide care for a child.
Practical help
Family and friends carers often need
help to deal with child behavioural
problems that children may have.
Yet they receive none of the training
that foster carers receive because they
are not foster carers. Similarly they
are not targeted by parenting initiatives
because they are not parents, so they
may lack the parenting skills required
to help a child with their homework
or to combat bullying at school. By
treating the children they care for as
children in need we would begin to
address this by triggering practical
and financial support.
Good quality respite care would also
be welcome. Family and friends carers
need regular breaks so that they can
provide the ongoing care that the child
needs. But respite care is rarely
available to them.
It would also be welcome for them
to have access to services such as
counselling to cope with emotional
and psychological issues for them
and for the child together with
mediation to handle any conflict
situations that may arise, for example
with one or more parents.
28 / Rethinking Family Life
Someone they can trust
Anecdotal evidence from our
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Network suggests that trust in social
workers is low. At the same time
there is a considerable need for an
advocate, someone they can trust
to speak for them within children’s
services and also to liaise with other
service providers on their behalf.
There is clearly a role for kinship care
workers who are not necessarily part
of the adoption and fostering service
and who understand and value
kinship care.
ACTION
We want to see:
Access to practical advice and
support for family and friends
carers to help them deal with a
child’s behavioural, emotional
and educational needs.
Dedicated kinship support
services such as facilitated group
work, advocacy and facilitated
group support in every local
authority area.
Parenting initiatives such as
Parent Know How targeting
grandparents.
Good quality respite care
for grandparents and family
members who are caring for a
child in the absence of parents.
Access to counselling and
mediation services when
they need it.
Someone they can trust as
an advocate within children’s
services.
Case study
Network and groups
Grandparents Plus has been funded
by the Big Lottery Fund to co-ordinate
a network of grandparents and
extended family members raising their
grandchildren. The GRG Network
brings together grandparents to give
them a voice, to share experiences, to
find solutions and to tell government,
children’s services, the NHS, drug and
alcohol agencies and others what
needs to change.
We work with many support groups
across the country to reach as many
grandparents as possible, organising
events together and providing a larger
network for smaller groups to join. A
recent event, held in Nottinghamshire,
was organised with local charity
Hetty’s who support the family and
friends of drug and alcohol users.
Most children in foster care
will return to their families
Help when a child returns home
Most children in either family and
friends care or non-relative foster
care eventually return to their families.
This process receives little or no
support, yet the problems that caused
the child to go into care in the first
place may return, or may have
never gone away. We believe that
it is unrealistic to expect families to
function in a sustainable way without
supporting the process of the child
returning home both in the days and
weeks immediately afterwards and
over the months that follow.
ACTION
We want to see local authorities
placed under a duty to provide
support if and when a child
returns to their families after a
period of time in non-relative
foster care or the care of other
family and friends.
We rely on family and friends to
provide care for some of the most
demanding children in extremely
difficult circumstances. Informal
arrangements are regarded by some
as the cheap option but when it comes
to proactively placing children into
family and friend care, we also find
that children’s services are often
reluctant to use them because of the
difficult judgement call they are
expected to make. Family and friends
carers receive little or no support and
have an uncertain status. These
families are the forgotten families of
family policy. Again we would argue
that because it is largely grandmothers
who provide this care their contribution
is taken for granted and unrecognised.
Case study
Grandparent raising
grandchildren
“My daughter killed herself nine years
ago; her partner had died of a drug
overdose and she did not wish to live
without him. She arranged her death
so that her two children, a girl of
seven and a boy of just one year,
were staying with me. My daughter
was devoted to her children and they
to her and I still miss and think of her
every day.
“There was never any question of
the children not staying with me and
initially social services agreed to
contribute towards my grandson’s
nursery costs as I was working. But
the contributions didn’t last long and
ceased well before he started school.
At no time did they offer practical
help, nor did I expect it.
“I now work part-time and receive
work and tax credit and, after much
negotiating, £50 a week from social
services which could stop at any time.
The social worker told me I was the
only grandparent who had asked for
money.
“After such a traumatic start I am
pleased at the way the children have
turned out. We are happy together
and I hope to live long enough to see
them into adulthood. However, the
fact remains that their lives have been
severely blighted and mine is hardly
as I had imagined.”
Rethinking Family Life / 29
Summary:
Family and friends carers often receive
little or no help and have uncertain status.
It is time to give them and the children
they care for the support they need.
We want to see:
1. The welfare of children of problem
substance users promoted across
all drug and alcohol strategies at a
national, regional and local level.
1. all relevant professionals equipped
to direct families to counselling and
practical support that may be
available to them.
2. the children raised by grandparents
and other family members treated as
children in need to ensure that they
have all necessary support, including
financial support.
10. the Department for Children Schools
and Families invest in improving the
evidence base on kinship care.
In particular local authorities:
11. required to provide information
and advice to family and friends
carers, including informing them
of their rights and all the options
open to them when faced with the
choice of stepping in to provide
care for a child.
12. develop tailored kinship care
assessments to end the “square
peg in a round hole”.
3. family and friends who are raising
a child who cannot live with their
parents for more than 28 days
entitled to a national allowance.
13. fully implement the Children and
Young Person’s Act 2008, following
both the spirit and the letter of
the law.
4. family and friends carers eligible for
grants to help with one off costs.
14. give all families access to family
group conferencing either before or,
in emergency situations, immediately
after a child is taken into care.
5. family and friends carers qualify for
legal aid if they need to apply for a
legal order to safeguard a child.
6. all social work courses to include
training on kinship care.
7. access to practical advice and
support for family and friends
carers to help them deal with a
child’s behavioural, emotional
and educational needs.
8. dedicated kinship support
services such as facilitated group
work, advocacy and facilitated
group support in every local
authority area.
9. children’s services covered by age
discrimination legislation to ensure
that grandparents can challenge
the decisions made.
30 / Rethinking Family Life
15. ensure that professionals are
supported by regular opportunities
for high quality kinship care
training at both operational
and managerial levels.
16. placed under a duty to provide
support for the return of children
to their families after a period of
time in non-relative foster care
or the care of family and friends.
17. provide good quality respite care for
grandparents and family members
who are caring for a child in the
absence of parents.
18. ensure access to counselling and
mediation services when family
and friends carers need it.
06.Putting
grandparents
in the picture
A familiar yet unknown lifestage
Families may be changing but
nevertheless we still define ourselves
in terms of our relationships to others.
One international survey found that
when asked who they are two thirds
of people around the world say “my
family”6.1. At different stages in her
life the same woman can be a wife,
a single parent, a partner, a mother, a
sister, a grandmother. Each represents
a step on a life-stage, a development
in our lives. There is much written
about becoming a mother, and to a
lesser (but growing) extent, becoming
a father. But little attention has been
paid to the grandparental life stage.
What impact does becoming a
grandparent have on your attitudes
and decisions? There is little research
available to answer that question.
A recent British Social Attitudes (BSA)
analysis6.2 points towards the need for
further work. It makes the simple but
important point that parents do not
stop being parents when their children
reach the age of 18. They continue to
define themselves as parents. 86%
of the over 65s are parents. 14%
are childless. This study finds that
parenthood does appear to have
some effects on people’s attitudes that
are not attributable to age and class.
Their children may have left home
some time ago, but their parental
role (and for many we can read
grandparental relationship) will
continue to be an important defining
influence for them.
Further research is needed here.
Unless we fully understand the
parental/grandparental life
stage we will continue to miss
how this determines attitudes,
behaviour and choices.
You don’t stop being a parent
just because your child turns 18
Rethinking Family Life / 31
Is a rights-based approach
the way forward?
The right to family life
Article 8 of the Human Rights Act
(1998) enshrines the right to respect
for private and family life while Article
5 of the United Nations Convention
on the Rights of the Child (1989)
states that:
Parties shall respect the
responsibilities, rights and duties of
parents or, where applicable, the
members of the extended family or
community as provided for by local
custom, legal guardians or other
persons legally responsible for the
child, to provide, in a manner
consistent with the evolving capacities
of the child, appropriate direction
and guidance….
There are clearly competing and
potentially conflicting rights for
children, parents and grandparents.
Grandparents Plus believes that
our primary focus should be on the
welfare and rights of the child.
The assertion of any adult rights
must, therefore, be exercised in a
way that is consistent with this. We
believe there are three principles
which should be met. We must:
• Promote the welfare of
the child
• Reduce and manage conflict
wherever possible
• Support a child’s family
relationships
1m
children are unable to see their
grandparents because families
have either separated or lost touch
Family separation
1 million6.3 children are unable to see
their grandparents because families
have either separated or lost touch.
This represents a significant loss to the
child in terms of his or her family life,
future support and personal and
cultural identity as well as a huge loss
to the grandparents.
32 / Rethinking Family Life
Recent Gingerbread research6.4 found
that seven out of 10 families there is
some contact between the child and
the non-resident parent. But in three
of 10 cases contact is absent
altogether. We know that nine out of
10 non-resident parents are male6.5.
It is overwhelmingly the paternal
grandparents who lose out on
contact with grandchildren when
parents separate. After separation
the contribution that maternal
grandparents make goes up, while
paternal grandparents have the
opposite experience. Before
separation six out of 10 paternal
grandparents report feeling very close
to their grandchild but that drops to
three out of 10 after separation6.6.
Care and adoption proceedings
When neither parent is able to care
for the child then care and adoption
proceedings may follow. As the law
stands grandparents have no
right to be included in care and
adoption proceedings and they
are required to apply for leave
for orders under the Children’s
Act 1989. For many grandparents
this legal process presents them with
a significant cost, one that they may
struggle to afford. Is it justifiable to
treat grandparents in the same way
as any other adult in this situation or
should they be able to seek an order
under the Children’s Act (1989)
without first seeking leave to apply?
The Government’s view is that the
requirement to seek leave is in place
in order to deter “vexatious” or
“frivolous” applications but we
believe this is based on a
fundamental misunderstanding
of the motivations and actions of
grandparents in these situations.
ACTION
We would like to see a review
of the requirement that
grandparents have to apply
for leave for a residence or
contact order.
Minimising conflict
It is generally accepted that conflict
between adults is bad for children.
A recent BSA survey showed that eight
out of 10 (78%) adults believe it is
conflict rather than separation that
harms children6.7. This would seem to
be borne out by evidence suggesting
that experience of conflict can be a
significant determining factor for child
outcomes. Children in intact families
experiencing high levels of conflict do
less well than children in single parent
households.6.8
Parents and children can often have
very different perspectives on the
same situation. In a survey teenagers
and parents were both asked whether
they agreed with the statement,
“parents getting on well is one of
the most important factors in raising
happy children” seven in 10 of the
teenagers agreed compared to just
a third of the parents6.9. We believe
that after ensuring the safety of the
child and resident parent (usually the
mother) the primary focus should be
on minimising family conflict. Despite
a recent government announcement
of a boost to funding for relationship
services, these services are not free to
families. We believe that if a
minimum number of sessions were
available free of charge this would
encourage take up at an earlier stage
in the relationship breakdown and
could help to reduce conflict. Just as
we prioritise our physical and mental
wellbeing, so we should also prioritise
the health of our family relationships.
ACTION
We want to see every family
who experiences relationship
breakdown entitled to three free
sessions of relationship support,
counselling or mediation.
Could more be done within existing
law to ensure parents support a
child’s wider family relationships?
When couples with children are
divorcing they complete a Statement
of Arrangements form, setting out
where and with whom the children
will be living and what the contact
arrangements with the non-resident
parent will be. It includes details of
the child’s childcare arrangements,
their school and any special
educational needs they may have as
well as details about other children
in the family. But there is no reference
to relationships with other people,
including grandparents and the
wider family, who may be important
to the child.
This stage in the divorce process
could become an opportunity for
parents to be required to state who
in their child’s life is particularly
important to them and what they
will do as parents to support those
relationships. This information could
then be shared with those named in
the form who in turn would be able
to return to the court if either parent
failed to facilitate the contact as they
suggested. It does not go as far as
to introduce grandparental rights
but this would force parents to at
least consider the child’s wider
relationships and would emphasise
that it is their responsibility as parents
to support those relationships if they
are in their child’s best interests.
Divorce is such a painful and stressful
experience that parents may not
deliberately want to exclude
grandparents and other family
members but may struggle to think
beyond their own immediate
circumstances. This modest step
would at least help them to do that.
ACTION
We want to see the Statement
of Arrangements for children
include what steps parents
will undertake to support a
child’s relationships with
their grandparents and
other important people
in the child’s life.
Rethinking Family Life / 33
Is a presumption of contact the way
forward?
This would mean that contact with
fathers and potentially, grandparents
and other family members would be
presumed to be in the child’s best
interests unless a case had been
made to state otherwise. However,
when one considers how this could
apply to parents, it could be
problematic and potentially in conflict
with the welfare of the child as set out
in the 1989 Children Act. Those cases
which go to court tend to be the most
difficult ones and involve higher levels
of conflict. They also tend to have a
disproportionately high rate (22%) of
allegations of domestic violence6.10.
Limited evidence from a system of
presumed contact in Australia also
suggests that it results in more litigation
not less6.11. For these reasons we
believe that a presumption of contact
is not the answer.
Should grandparents be told of
any adoption proceedings?
The child’s right to family life would
suggest that grandparents should
be informed of any adoption
proceedings, to at least give them
the opportunity to apply to care for the
child themselves. A recent legal case6.12
resulted in a court deciding that a
mother had the right to put her child
up for adoption without notifying the
father or the grandparents. This is
because parental responsibility lies
solely with mothers unless she is
married to the child’s father. These
are difficult cases and many factors
have to be considered, including the
welfare of the mother, but we believe
it is in the child’s best interest to at
least give the grandparents the
opportunity to be considered as
potential carers for the child alongside
any prospective adopter.
ACTION
We want to see grandparents
notified of any care and adoption
proceedings unless it can be
demonstrated that this would
not be in the interests of the
child or the welfare of the
parent with care.
34 / Rethinking Family Life
Gender, age discrimination
and stereotypes
Evidence from France6.13 points to
grandfathers playing a more active
role than they have done previously,
suggesting that they may be liberated
by their grandparental role in a way
that they were unable to be when they
were fathers. The gender divide was
much starker 30 or 40 years ago.
A father in the 1950s or 1960s would
not have been at the birth of their
children, would have worked long
hours and may not have spent much
time playing or interacting with them.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that as
grandfathers they experience a
second chance to fulfil a fatherly role
that they were unable to achieve the
first time around.
Today’s fathers, on the other hand,
are more involved than ever. Over nine
out of 10 dads take time off around
the birth of their child6.14. Between
1975 and 1997 dad’s care of infants
and young children increased by
800%6.15. A Fatherhood Institute survey
found that eight out of 10 women and
six out of 10 men agreed that fathers
were as good as mothers at caring for
children6.16. It will be interesting to see
what kind of grandfathers these dads
become in the years ahead.
“the village raises the child”
The role of the matriarch in certain
societies is still very powerful, as is the
expectation that the extended family
and the community share the task of
bringing up the next generation. In
these cultures age commands respect
and is not regarded as weakness. In
many Indian and Pakistani families
for example, the extended family rather
than the nuclear model is the norm.
So the expectation may be that a
couple would live with one set of
parents, usually the paternal
grandparents. In the UK over one in 4
Indian families live with their children’s
paternal grandparents6.17. For black
Caribbean families one in 10 live with
their maternal grandparents6.18. Three
generations in one household is
therefore not uncommon.
30
20
10
Other
Black African
Black Caribbean
0
Bangledeshi
It is this combination of age and
gender stereotyping which renders
grandmothers invisible in policy terms.
We simply take their contribution for
granted. After all, if they didn’t look
after their grandchildren, what else
would they do? Well, we may be about
to find out. Evidence suggests that the
baby boomer generation may not be
so ready and willing to fill the shoes of
today’s grandparents. Women in their
50s and 60s today will almost certainly
have spent more of their lives working
than their mothers. They are the
consumer generation who have also
benefited from the creation of the
welfare state. Defined by characteristics
of individualism and social activism
Living with grandparents
by baby’s ethnic group
Pakistani
It is perhaps stating the obvious to
say that grandparents are as diverse
as families. But it is still the case that
maternal grandmothers play a
particularly active role in family life and
the care of children. Because they are
defined in terms of their relationship
not only with their grandchild but with
their child (ie the parent), we fail to
consider that they have a choice
about the role they play as
grandparent, in a way which
doesn't apply to the parental role.
Indian
In the United States at 5.5%
the proportion of households
where grandparents are raising
grandchildren is significantly higher
than inBritain where it is 2%.6.19.
Today’s parents will be working until
they are 70 or more and so will
probably savour their retirement when
it eventually comes. They are also
more likely than their mothers and
fathers to be carrying considerable
burden of personal debt and will be
less well prepared for their retirement,
so this generation may find that they
have to work rather than care.
Mixed
Indian families live with
paternal grandparents
White
1 4
in
and relatively well off compared to
previous generations of older people,
baby boomers expect to continue to
live life to the full and enjoy their
retirement. They value their
independence and may well be
resistant to providing the informal care
that their own mothers have provided.
Maternal grandparent(s)
Paternal grandparent(s)
Dex and Joshi Millennium Cohort Study 2004
Rethinking Family Life / 35
A right to say “no”
Objectively at least, seven out of
10 parents recognise that they cannot
expect grandparents to provide
childcare, although one in 5 admit
that they do expect it6.20. Dench and
Ogg6.21 found that where grandparents
had some degree of control over the
contribution they made, even if it were
a significant contribution, they were
happier about it. The tension came
when they felt under pressure to fulfil
a role that they did not want.
When we asked today’s parents how
likely it was that they would be
providing regular childcare for their
grandchildren six out of 10 (60%)
thought it was likely, although that
figure dropped to five out of 10 (52%)
for parents with older children (11 –
17). However one third (34%) said they
would be doing other things instead of
caring for grandchildren. Significantly
this figure rose to half (50%) for the
baby boomer over 55s suggesting that
when the choice is imminent other
possibilities become more attractive
or essential. Four out of 10 (39%) said
they thought they would be working
beyond retirement age with less family
time than they would like6.22.
Policy makers and service
providers have to recognise
that the significant contribution
that grandparents make today,
particularly the provision of
informal childcare, may not be
there to the same degree in
future generations. It is likely
that formal childcare provision
will need to grow to fill this gap.
A greater understanding of the
grandparental lifestage both
now and in the future would
help us prepare for that.
Summary:
Significantly more could be done to
understand the grandparental
lifestage. We need to go further to
support and recognise the role of
grandparents and the extended family,
particularly where families split up.
We want to see:
1. further research into the
grandparental lifestage.
2. every family who experiences
relationship breakdown entitled
to three free sessions of
relationship support, counselling
or mediation.
3. a review of the requirement that
grandparents have to apply for
leave for a residence or contact
order.
36 / Rethinking Family Life
4. the Statement of Arrangements
for children to include what
steps parents will undertake to
support a child’s relationships
with their grandparents and
other important people in the
child’s life.
5. grandparents notified of any
care and adoption proceedings
unless it can be demonstrated
that this would not be in the
interests of the child or the
welfare of the parent with care.
07.Completing the
intergenerational
contract
The growth of “beanpole”
four and five generation families,
combined with more complex
and fragmented family structures
and a significant and growing
role for grandparents requires
us to look again at how the
family is providing care for itself
and to reconsider the wider
intergenerational contract. In
particular we consider this in
the context of the current debate
about social care reform.
The challenge is twofold:
Should the state support and
facilitate that family
reciprocity, and if so how?
Should the state replicate that
reciprocity in the wider
intergenerational contract?
We have already begun to explore (in
chapter 2 above) the idea of rewarding
care with care. This would ensure that
the care that a grandparent provides
during their lifetime counts towards
the care that they may need themselves
later in life. Of course this could also
be extended to include other groups
of carers such as those caring for
disabled relatives. This reciprocity is
not a new concept. In fact is it what
families themselves have been doing
for centuries.
Rethinking Family Life / 37
Reciprocity – what does it mean?
The reasons why one person cares
for another are both personal and
practical. It may also be a very
complex relationship. The concept of
a duty of care for someone who may
have in turn provided care for us or
our children, is not an unfamiliar one
but it is one that younger generations
may find less acceptable and also
something that with other competing
pressures, they simply cannot fulfil.
We have already seen that
grandparents enjoy and welcome
their grandparental role when they
have a considerable degree of control
over it. That is, they can say “no”. It
would be unacceptable therefore for
there to be any expectation or
compulsion on any family member,
other than a parent to a child, to
provide care for another. But on the
other hand, as we have suggested in
this report, there is more that could be
done to recognise, value and support
those caring relationships and so
facilitate that reciprocity. There are
also significant benefits for families,
society and the economy in doing so.
We will not personalise social
care unless we recognise that
family relationships matter
If we are to expect families to do
more should that reciprocity be
replicated in wider society? This
reciprocity already exists in the form
of the welfare state. We are expected
to contribute when we can so that
ourselves and our families can benefit
when we need it. The nature of a
contribution is limited to financial
contribution. However the Pensions
Act 2007 sets a new precedent in
that for the first time the substantial
periods of unpaid caring work that
people, mostly women, do will be
placed on a par with paid work and
count towards an individual’s state
pension entitlement. Could this
recognition of unpaid care be taken
further and form part of the
framework for social care reform?
The advantage to the individual and
their family would be to see the full
contribution they have made to society
and to the economy valued. For
38 / Rethinking Family Life
society it would reward and
encourage caring, supporting
reciprocity at the family level but
stopping short of expectation or
compulsion. If we are all to be
expected to contribute more towards
our own care needs, and that is likely,
then the contribution someone has
made throughout their lives,
particularly when they have sacrificed
earnings in order to do so, should
count towards any care they may
have to pay for themselves in a
reformed social care system.
Enhancing the wellbeing of
older people and supporting
family life
The Government has prioritised the
need to personalise social care. This
is very welcome because all too often
we focus on the care need, not the
person who needs care. But we
cannot successfully personalise care
unless we recognise the social capital
in our relationships. That is, family
matters and not only because of the
care they provide. There is a welcome
emphasis on the role of family and
informal carers in the Government’s
National Dementia Strategy. But this
is almost entirely in the form of the
care they provide rather than
understanding the intrinsic value of
relationships for the wellbeing of the
person with dementia. Evidence7.1
shows that reducing the isolation of
older people is fundamental to their
wellbeing and in turn affects their
likelihood of needing medical or
service interventions.
Grandparents Plus believes that
we should consider older people
in terms of the lifestage
experiences, that is as parents,
grandparents or great
grandparents instead of simply
seeing them as older people.
Contact between older people, their
families and carers is fundamental to
the way care is shaped and delivered.
Many users of the care system will be
grandparents. Contact with their
families may well be in the form of
informal care provided to them but
it may also be simply maintaining
“normal” family visits. Most older
people are cared for in their own
homes but for 420,0007.2 older
people this is not the case and they
are cared for in care homes. When
an older person goes into a care
home they leave behind them their
personal and familiar surroundings.
They may find that they have very
limited space to accommodate
personal items. They may also be
confused and anxious about the
experience of moving home which is
known to be particularly traumatic for
older people. In these circumstances
contact with family members may be
particularly valuable to their well
being. We believe that more
could be done to support family
contact by making care homes
more accommodating and
inviting for families, particularly
those with young children.
ACTION
We want to see a play area or
dedicated regular family time
in every residential care home
to reduce isolation of older
people, encouraging families
to visit regularly, support
grandparental relationships
and to make residential care
more welcoming to children.
We also know that the turnover of
care workers is considerable so older
people find that the people caring for
them may not know or understand
them very well. So we believe that,
where possible, this requires a
greater role for family and
friends.
However, this is no substitute for
regular communication. It would also
be helpful if care workers could take
the time to talk to family members
and find out more about the older
person, the family’s concerns and
wishes and the importance of their
relationships for the older person’s
wellbeing.
ACTION
As part of the personalisation
agenda we want to see research
into the experiences of family
members, including children,
who have regular contact with
the social care system, so that
it can be informed by their
experiences to support the
family and to improve the
outcomes for the older person
in need of care.
Reducing isolation also
reduces the likelihood of
needing medical or service
interventions
For example they could be
encouraged to help the older
person produce a “life story”
book to inform care workers
about the person they are
caring for including their needs
and wishes, their interests and
past experiences as well as their
care needs.
Rethinking Family Life / 39
Summary:
Unless we count the caring contribution
that grandparents make the
intergenerational contract will be
incomplete. In particular we should do
more to facilitate and support family
contact in the social care system and build
on family intergenerational activity for
community intergenerational practice.
We want to see:
1. further exploration of
intergenerational reciprocity
to establish how we could
reward care with care to find
appropriate alternative forms
of recognition for grandparents’
caring contribution.
2. a play area or dedicated regular
family time in every residential
care home to reduce isolation
of older people, encouraging
families to visit regularly,
support grandparental
relationships and to make
residential care more welcoming
to children.
3. families and carers encouraged
to help the older person
produce a “life story” book
to inform care workers about
the person they are caring for
including their needs and
wishes, their interests and
past experiences as well as
their care needs.
4. research into the experiences
of family members, including
children, who have regular
contact with the social care
system, so that personalisation
can be informed by their
experiences to improve the
experiences and outcomes
for the older person in need
of care.
5. Government investing in
intergenerational practice
across a number of policy areas
including community cohesion
and social care.
40 / Rethinking Family Life
08.Conclusion
Grandparents and the wider
family play a significant role in
our lives. They support parents,
care for children and help to
shape our communities. If we
stop to reflect on our own
families we will almost certainly
think beyond our parents,
identifying people who are
important to us or who have
been influential figures in our
family’s lives.
Families define who we are, whatever
their structure. We retain that focus on
the relationships that matter to us
throughout our lives, and that
includes when we need care
ourselves. Personalisation in social
care cannot be achieved unless we
adopt an intergenerational approach
and recognise and value family
relationships. Intergenerational
practice needs to be informed by
family experiences.
Grandparents Plus believes that we
need to recognise, value and support
the role of grandparents and the
wider family. By doing so we will
deliver fairer treatment for older
people, improve outcomes for
children and recognise and support
the choices parents make. But
importantly for policy makers and
service providers, we will begin to
connect with the reality of people’s
family lives in a new way. Our failure
to do so to date has largely been
driven by a combination of age and
gender stereotypes. The care that is
still mostly provided by older women
continues to be widely used and is
usually taken for granted. But this also
sits uncomfortably with us because as
a society we do not like to see
significant contributions from others
going unvalued and unrewarded.
This is an exciting time because
this is an issue whose time has
arrived. We want to shape a new
chapter in family policy for one
of the oldest parts of family life.
By doing so we hope that we can
help to improve the lives of
children, parents, grandparents
and other family members. But
importantly also address some
of the injustice and poverty
experienced by family and
friends carers who have stepped
into the parental role full-time. It
has to be wrong that something
so fundamental to us is valued so
little. We want to work with our
partners to try to change that.
Rethinking Family Life / 41
42 / Rethinking Family Life
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1.4
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2.6
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2.8
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Op cit Grandparents Plus YouGov
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6.1
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6.3
6.4
6.5
6.6
6.7
6.8
6.9
6.10
6.11
6.12
6.13
6.14
6.15
6.16
6.17
6.18
6.19
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44 / Rethinking Family Life
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