A Caregiver’s Lament
Submitted from “Musings of a Purposeful Mind”
By Gerald Lloyd Wood – Copyright 2015
In how many books can you remember the first sentence? I vividly
remember only two. One is “The Holy Bible,” that says, “In the
beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” The other is in a
small book of big ideas called, ‘The Road Less Traveled” by M. Scott
Peck, M.D. He said, “Life is difficult.” That simple sentence struck me
as profound at the time, although it didn’t seem to apply in my
experience. Life had always been good, going pretty much my way and
according to plan until my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
That changed everything for both of us. In fact, we were unprepared for
how this dreaded disease would alter our plans for the future. Dreams
of traveling, reading volumes of good books, writing, painting and
enjoying the fruits of our labor were just pipe-dreams never to be
realized. Perhaps, the biggest loss of all has been quality time together
in retirement after 50 years of marriage. Such a loss is incalculable for
a couple who considers each other as their best friend.
Curiously , I’ve learned that being a full-time caregiver has made me a
better person. Once I understood and accepted my new role, resentment
waned and confidence grew. A positive attitude is so important when
one faces such a test. Truly, humans have much more capability when
challenged. Role reversal and devoting myself to the well-being and
safety of my spouse has helped me more fully appreciate what she has
unselfishly contributed to my success and happiness. At some point of
awareness, it became abundantly clear that it wasn’t “all about me”
anymore.
A valuable lesson from this experience is that we are not as much in
charge of our lives as we think. Moreover, facing adversity when it
comes is a real test of love, fortitude and character.