Should the government restrict teenagers’ access to plastic surgery?
You have recently read about the increasing popularity of cosmetic
surgery for teenagers. In response to what you have read, write an essay
and a letter to the editor, expressing your opinion.
An experienced cosmetic surgeon, Dr Simon Shin, has performed cosmetic surgery on teenagers as young as thirteen years old. He believes
this is simply too young because they can suffer from unexpected side
effects. No matter what any one tells you, there are risks!
Kate underwent
a breast
augmentation im
plant when
she was only 16
. Now, she
is 26 and she ha
d to pay
another $4,000 fo
r surgery
to replace the or
iginal implant. She was un
comfortable with everyo
ne staring
at her breasts. K
ate now
admits that teen
agers are
just too young to
make their
own decisions ab
out having
cosmetic surgery
and they
are easily influe
nced by
the irresponsible
advertisements of media.
t
Many experts believe tha
e
tur
ma
teenage girls are not
enough to understand the
risks. Potential problems
in
include: blood clots, bra
damage, heart attack,
temporary paralysis and
even death in worst-case
scenarios.
rs
Some state that teenage
fulfil their
should have the right to
beauty and
personal perception of
m.
increase their self-estee
Revenue from plastic and cosmetic surgery in Australia rose
from $26 million to $37 million
from 2002-10, according to the
Australian Bureau of Statistics.
One reason for this increase
is that young teenagers are
becoming obsessed with breast
augmentation procedures. Many
obtain loans from clinics.
Write a topic sentence relating
to the above comments:
e
Teenagers are not matur
the
enough to weigh up
lpros and cons. Their impu
ir
sive choice can lead to the
.
ure
fut
the
biggest regret in
Many psycholo
gists say
that girls must un
derstand that beauty
is not
about being phys
ically
pretty but comes
from
their personality
and
a sense of unique
ness.
If everyone look
ed the
same, then whe
re’s the
sense of individu
ality?
Child psychologist Sally Anne McCormack said breast implants
and other procedures should not be performed on patients until
they turned 21. “We are leading them to a body image disorder.”
Victorian Child Safety Commissioner Bernie Geary said: “It’s
ridiculous for any child at that age to be involved in procedures
that are so superficial simply because they want it.”
Write a topic sentence relating to the above comments:
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essay-writing guide
43
Place the issue in context. Outline your main contention and support reasons.
i
n
t
r
o
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2
b
o
d
y
p
a
r
a
g
r
a
p
h
s
Most importantly, it is critical that the Government restricts a teenager’s access to plastic
surgery because they are not mature enough to understand the physical risks.
(Refer to the doctor’s advice (side effects) and Kate’s story (discomfort).
Explain the purpose of such evidence.)
See pp. 17-20
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Furthermore, teenagers are simply succumbing to unrealistic notions about beauty that could
undermine their confidence and cost a lot of money. (Explain what the psychologists and parents
say. The growth in the industry is feeding teenagers’ sense of body dissatisfaction.)
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r
e
b
u
t
t
a
l
c
o
n
c
l
44
Rebuttal : Some teenagers state that they should have the right to fulfil their
personal perception of beauty and increase their self-esteem. However... (How
can you criticise this view? Think about a person’s sense of individuality. What about
kindness and respect? What about developing other skills?
TIP! For
g
“attackin
”
s
strategie
.
see p. 37
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Leave the reader with a firm impression that yours is the most important viewpoint.
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www.englishworks.com.au
Using the evidence
Place the issue in a
context.
State two or three important
reasons for or against the
topic.
Confidently state the most
important reason.
Choose appropriate
evidence. Introduce the
evidence and show a link
(show its importance) to the
topic sentence.
Signpost the second most
important reason.
(Make sure it is sufficiently
different to avoid repeti-
Support with expert’s
comments. Introduce and
show the importance of the
evidence. How does it link
to your view?
Signpost the rebuttal. Tell
the reader that you are canvassing the
opposite view.
Then make it clear that you
are presenting an alternative view.
There has been an alarming increase in
cosmetic surgery. Surprisingly, doctors have
stated that teenagers as young as 13 are undergoing the knife. Clearly, teenagers do not
appreciate the risks. Girls may physically
harm themselves if ... In addition, there may
be long term psychological problems.
Firstly, it is imperative that the government
restricts teenagers’ access to plastic surgery
because it can lead to health risks.
Many doctors have stated ....
Moreover, Kate’s first-hand experience,
reinforces the doctor’s comments about the
immaturity of young adults and their inability to recognise the harmful consequences
or surgery. She states ....
Secondly, (furthermore) teenagers should
not have plastic surgery at a young age because it can lead to psychological problems
and personality disorders. According to Ms
McCormack a teenager’s obsession with
body image is unhealthy. As she states “we
are leading them to a body image disorder.”
Evidently, experts like Ms McCormack
clearly fear that the obsession with physical
appearance may be a sign of a deep-seated
dissatisfaction...
On the other hand, (contrastingly), many
people might believe that surgery is helpful and builds confidence, especially for
those who are less fortunate or who lack
beauty. However this is misleading. It is a
very superficial and artificial way to build
confidence. Isn’t it preferable to nurture a
teenager’s talents in other more meaningful
ways.
essay-writing guide
45
Turn your essay into a letter.
See “Quick Guide” p. 69
Kate had a breast augmentation implant when she was
only 16 years old. Now, she is 26 and has just paid
another $4,000 to replace the original implant. She
was feeling uncomfortable with people staring at her
large breasts.
Kate’s story is not unusual. Plastic surgeons have
claimed that girls as young as 13 years of age are
going under the knife. They are having breast enlargements as a means of boosting their confidence. This
is not surprising given that this industry has doubled
since 2002.
It is absolutely critical that the government ban surgery to people under 21 years of age, because they are
not only showing an excessive and dangerous obsession with body image, but they evidently underestimate the risks. Have they considered alternative ways
of building confidence that would be more productive?
See p. 66.
1. Start with an anecdote or startling fact to arouse interest.
2. Link the anecdote or fact with
your main contention/ your viewpoint. State your most important
reason.
3. Rhetorical question/ provocative tone to lead into discussion.
Teenagers’ obsession with body image should not be
encouraged. This is a reflection of our materialistic
and image-conscious society that focuses people’s
attention on appearance. As Victorian Child Safety
Commissioner Bernie Geary says, “it’s ridiculous for
any child at that age to be involved in procedures that
are so superficial simply because they want it”.
4. First supporting reason.
Besides who is financing this ridiculously expensive
fad? Evidently, the parents because young adults do
not have a spare $4,000 to spend on such cosmetic
treatment. The clinics are also preying on vulnerable
teenagers and giving them loans. This is exploitation,
but they are evidently getting richer because the industry has increased from $26 million to $37 million
from 2002 to 2010.
6. Introduce the next reason with
a question.
It’s time that we thought about other ways of being
“beautiful” and help our teenagers gain confidence in
more meaningful ways. After all, if they have trouble
with body image at 14 years of age then maybe they
have serious psychological problems that will not be
solved by bigger breasts.
The government must heed the calls of experts and
take urgent action to restrict an out of control
industry.
46 www.englishworks.com.au
5. Give evidence/ example/ quote
from an expert.
7. Expand on the problem.
8. Give reasons / quotes.
9. What do opponents say?
10. Why are they wrong?
11. Provide a clear and concise
summing up statement.