42
Gretchen Panzer, who’ll be graduating St. Norbert College in
2012 with double major in English and Women’s and Gender Studies,
chooses to examine the story of Sleeping Beauty in her tale, particularly
an early version titled “Sun, Moon, and Talia” by Giambattista Basile.
She wants to give readers a different way to analyze the sexual violence
toward females not only inherent in the original tale but also that which
continues to plague contemporary society. Ms. Panzer works with on-campus activities that allow her
to exercise her writing skills and promote gender equality: she’s the
editorial intern for the Sigma Tau Delta publications; the editorial intern
for North Wind and web content manager of the North Wind Digital
Archive; the intern for the Collaborative Center of Undergraduate
Research, Scholarship and Creative Activities; a consultant at the
Writing Center; and president of Rainbow Alliance. When she does
allows herself some free time, she likes to read, write poetry, watch
movies, analyze pop culture through a feminist lens, and learn to knit.
Jennifer Baranczyk
Talia
Gretchen Panzer
*1*
There was once a great king­ who, on the birth of his
daughter, to whom he gave the name of Talia, commanded that he
should know her future. All the wise men of the kingdom came
to the conclusion that she would be exposed to great danger from
a small splinter in some flax. Thereupon the king, to prevent
any unfortunate accident, commanded that no flax should enter
his house. However, as is often the case, the very thing the king
tried to prevent occurred: when she had grown into a young
woman, Talia took some hemp in her hand and began to spin,
whereupon a splinter in the hemp got under her fingernail, and
she immediately fell dead upon the ground.
*2*
I’ll never forget the day she first showed up on my porch.
Most beautiful thing I’d ever seen­—tall, blonde hair, bigger tits
than any woman I knew. I took her in, took off the standard-issue
clothes, checked her over to make sure they didn’t get anything
wrong, and then fucked her for maybe five or six hours. Used
plenty of lube—they told me I’d need lube. She was heavier than I
43
expected, colder too. After I got more patient about it I warmed
her up with one of those heated blankets, like they told me. That
was nice; she felt just like a live human being then.
*3*
I remember I was happy, before. I was not permitted to
go outside, but I could find plenty to do around the castle. I loved
to help the servant women with their chores; they told the most
marvelous tales as we sat by the fire, sorting herbs and folding
napkins. One day an old woman joined us from the village. She
brought with her a strange wheel that could turn rough hemp
into fine thread. I was captivated by its clever turning, but when I
tried to learn its secret—well, I suppose you already know how I
died.
*1*
Some time after that the king of another land came
upon a castle in the middle of a wood. Inside was the dead Talia,
seated in a velvet chair as if asleep or under a spell. The king
called to her, but since nothing he did or said brought her back
to her senses, and seeing how beautiful she was—the beauty is
important; it justifies all kinds of evils—he carried her to a couch.
After raping her, he left her lying there. Then he returned to his
kingdom and for a long time entirely forgot the affair.
*3*
I woke from my long sleep into a nightmare. Two mewling
infants, sucking at my fingers and breasts—where did these
creatures come from? And food appearing out of the air—if
providence is looking after me, why did nothing stop the man
from seizing me in my sleep and creating these helpless monsters,
always hungry, always wanting? I know what happened to me
while I was powerless to resist—or even to remember. I turn and
retch over the side of the bed; invisible hands wash the bile away.
We must keep things clean.
*2*
I named her Talia. It sounds pretty like her, and I
remember it from some story my mom would read me when I was
little, before she was killed. She was fucking around, my dad said,
44
and her boyfriend killed her. My dad was always having to punish
her for going off with other guys, and I guess she never learned.
The cops thought my dad killed her. They did an investigation,
took him off to prison, and sent me to live with my uncle. But my
dad said he didn’t do it, and besides it was her own fault anyway.
You can’t trust women, he said.
*1*
One day the king bethought himself of the adventure of
the fair sleeper and took the opportunity of a hunting expedition
to go and see her. Finding her awake and with two splendid pearls
of children, he was overpowered with joy. He told Talia what had
happened; then he left her, promising to come again and take her
back with him to his kingdom. When he reached his home, he
was forever talking of Talia and her children. At meals the names
of Talia, Sun, and Moon (these were the children’s names) were
always on his lips; when he went to bed he was always calling one
or the other.
*2*
In the customizations, I had them put ink on my Talia,
like tattoos: tribal designs of a sun and a moon, one on each of
her shoulders. They probably symbolize some shit, but when I
saw the pictures in the book at the tattoo parlor, I just had to
laugh. It’s perfect for Talia because she’s up for sex any time, day
or night. Get it?
*3*
After the shock had worn away, I came to love the
children. What else could I do? All that they demanded of me
they repaid tenfold with their perfect loveliness. Even when they
did not need to be fed, bathed, or held, I would sit and stare at
their sleeping faces, entranced. When he returned, what other
choice did I have but to say I would go and live with him? I could
not rely on food appearing out of nowhere for the rest of our
lives. And, truth be told, he did not give me much choice; that is
not his way.
*2*
People sometimes tell me I’m a freak for owning a sex
45
doll. But I tell them, it’s the best thing a man can do for himself,
buying one. So many guys I know have to put up with all kinds of
shit from women just to get laid. Me, I can get action whenever I
want, and I don’t have to buy her any jewelry or tell her I love her
or anything like that. The only way some other guy would get to
do stuff to her is if I sold her or something; I sure don’t have to
worry about her running off on me. Talia is the perfect woman—
no fuss, no bother, no nothing.
*1*
Talia became the king’s wife, and enjoyed a long life with
her husband and children, finding it to be true that:
Lucky people, so ’tis said,
Are blessed by Fortune whilst in bed.
*3*
There is more to the story, of course. But if I were to
tell you, would it really matter? The telling cannot help me now,
cannot erase the nightmares of my past. I tend to my children,
and I pray their futures will hold only happiness. Still, I fear
dreamers must always awake, and the waking is far worse than the
dreaming.