Mark 10:2-16
Jesus on marriage and divorce
1. The trap of legislating marriage.
a. Some Pharisees came to him and tried to trap him
b. Does our Law allow a man to divorce his wife?
c. Moses wrote this law for you because you are so hard to teach
2. God made marriage to be a permanent bond between a man and a woman.
a. In the beginning… God made them male and female (6)
b. There are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were
born that way; (Matthew 19:12)
c. for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife
(7)
d. and the two will become one…
3. Marriage should not be broken lightly.
a. No human being must separate what God has joined together (8-9)
b. Whoever divorces (except for marital unfaithfulness Matthew 19:9) and
marries another commits adultery (10-12).
1. The trap of legislating marriage.
a. Some Pharisees came to him and tried to trap him
It’s fair to say that if you want to put someone on the spot at the moment or even
maneuver them into a trap, then the theme of marriage and what constitutes it would be a
good place to start.
With the cries for marriage equality abounding and with pressure groups and even public
opinion ready to pounce on anyone who opposes marriage equality, it is slippery ground to
walk on without getting yourself into an argument with someone.
In the passage we read today, Jesus’ enemies try to put Jesus on the spot on the issue of
marriage and divorce hoping to trap him in his words and to make him say something
would turn public opinion against him.
It is curious that we owe quite a lot to the Pharisees for this as some of Jesus greatest
teachings, such as the greatest commandment, give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and even his
teaching on the resurrection emerge from these trap questions set by his enemies. Today
is no different as Jesus opens our eyes to what God intended for marriage.
b. Does our Law allow a man to divorce his wife?
The specific question they raise is “Does our Law allow a man to divorce his wife?”
Matthew’s version of this question adds “for any and every reason” Matthew 19:3 which is
quite helpful.
The arguments stems from the law on remarrying the same woman which is given in
Deuteronomy 24 where we read.
“Suppose a man marries a woman and later decides that he doesn't want her, because he
finds something about her that he doesn't like. So he writes out divorce papers, gives them
to her, and sends her away from his home. 2 Then suppose she marries another man, 3 and
he also decides that he doesn't want her, so he also writes out divorce papers, gives them
to her, and sends her away from his home. Or suppose her second husband dies. 4 In either
case, her first husband is not to marry her again; he is to consider her defiled. If he married
her again, it would be offensive to the LORD. You are not to commit such a terrible sin in the
land that the LORD your God is giving you”. Deuteronomy 24:1-4
This implies that a man may divorce a woman because he finds something about her that
he doesn’t like. There was great debate on this verse between the rabbinic schools of Hillel
and Shammai. Whereas the Shammai tradition understood this to mean that he had found
her to be “indecent” or “unfaithful”, Hillel taught that a man could divorce a woman for
anything that he found displeasing to him. If she burnt his tea or starting getting fat, he
could legally divorce her by simply writing out a divorce certificate and announcing three
times before the elders gathered at the city gate that he was divorcing her.
It seems that amongst the other treacherous traps involved in defining marriage, there was
also a trap designed to divide people following Jesus. Furthermore, there was the whole
political drama living out before them of Herod Antipas who had divorced his own wife so
that he could take his brother Phillip’s wife. John the Baptists opposition to this
relationship and the way it mocked marriage cost him his life.
c. Moses wrote this law for you because you are so hard to teach
In his response, Jesus goes back way beyond Hillel and Shamai to why Moses wrote what he
did in the first place. Moses permitted divorce and so did people in Jesus day, but it was a
concession given to mankind because of their hard hearts and there sinful ways. Divorce
laws were given not to make divorce easier or to make it seem like God’s ideal but they
were given to provide protection and provision to women who otherwise would be
dispatched and abandoned whenever they failed to please their husband. This was never
God’s ideal for our human relationships.
2. God made marriage to be a permanent bond between a man and a woman.
a. In the beginning… God made them male and female (6)
Jesus goes back to show us how it was in the beginning before mankind’s rebellion and
falling away from God. Genesis 1:27-28 reads “So God created human beings, making them
to be like himself. He created them male and female, blessed them, and said, “Have many
children”
It was God’s purpose from the beginning that men and women should marry and have
children – this is the biblical concept of marriage. What Jesus does with these words forms
the basis of Christian marriage and today is still the basis of Government legislation
regarding marriage. It is a union between a man and a women.
b. There are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were
born that way; (Matthew 19:12)
I tread very lightly as I venture to ask whether or not it can be applied also to a same sex
couple. In the Matthew 19 account, Jesus acknowledges that marriage is not for all people.
In response to the comment by his disciples that the teaching is hard he says:
“This teaching does not apply to everyone, but only to those to whom God has given it. For
there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were born that
way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of
the Kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so.” Matthew 19:11-12.
It would seem that in Jesus time that there were men who were born unable to marry. We
can only speculate as to what he means exactly. Some, it seems, were born as eunuchs
without the ability to procreate. Maybe it refers too to those who preferred others of the
same sex. Whatever the case may be here, Jesus doesn’t redefine marriage for this but
seems to be saying that marriage will not apply to everyone. Even he understands that not
everyone will accept that teaching.
c. for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife
(7)
Jesus understanding of marriage continues with the words in Mark 10:7 where he cites
Genesis 2:24 which says “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite
with his wife”
Marriage involves a man leaving his father and his mother and uniting with his wife to form
a new family home and a new family unit. It’s what we used to call leaving and cleaving.
d. and the two will become one…
The final part of this marriage definition is that the two will become one. This is not just a
euphemism but a graphic description of a couple coming together physically to express
their love and also to have children and to so fill the earth in accordance with the command
in Genesis 1:28.
Marriage is a relationship designed to produce children and the marriage is only formally
established once the couple have come together sexually. If they have never been
together, this was a basis for annulment.
Does the bible give the option for same-sex marriage? Some say that it does and there are
some church leaders who argue for this.
I think Jesus is quite clear in saying that marriage is the union of a man and a women who
come together to form a new family.
Our marriage service from A Prayer Book for Australia reads:
“Our Lord Jesus Christ said of marriage that ‘From the beginning of creation God
made them male and female. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.” So they are no
longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no one put
asunder.’
Marriage is the symbol of God’s unending love for his people, and of the union
between Christ and his Church. So Saint Paul teaches that the husband must love his
wife as Christ loved the Church, and that the wife must give due honour to her
husband.
Marriage should be honoured by all, and is not be to entered into lightly or
carelessly, but with reverent and serious respect for those purposes for which it was
instituted by God.
Marriage is a life-long union in which a man and a woman are called so to give
themselves in body, mind, and spirit, and so to respond, that from their union will
grow a deepening knowledge and love of each other.
In the joys and sorrows of life, in prosperity and adversity, they share their
companionship, faithfulness, and strength.
In marriage a new family is established in accordance with God’s purpose, so that
children may be born and nurtured in secure and loving care, for their well-being and
instruction, and for the good order of society, to the glory of God.”
3. Marriage should not be broken lightly.
a. No human being must separate what God has joined together (9)
Jesus own words follow his quoting from Genesis when he says: “No human being must
separate what God has joined together” (9)
We are reminded in this of the sanctity of Marriage. God blesses marriage and when we
tear it apart, we do separate what God has put together. Divorce should never be entered
into lightly and neither should marriage. When we trivialize marriage with divorce as a
convenient opt-out clause, we dishonor God and we hurt each other and we hurt especially
women and children. This was much more so in Jesus time, where there was less of a social
net and the vulnerable such as women and children were left unprotected and without
provision.
b. Whoever divorces (except for marital unfaithfulness – Matthew 19:9) and
marries another commits adultery (10-12).
Jesus puts it quite clearly that divorce can never be used because you want to change your
spouse for someone that you have fallen for who is not your wife or husband. When you
divorce your wife so that you can after another that you fancy you are committing adultery
in God’s eyes.
The only legitimate ground for divorce that Jesus mentions is marital unfaithfulness. If your
spouse cheats on you with another lover, you are justified before God and the law to seek a
divorce because they have broken their marriage vows, and you are free to re-marry.
Another option is to forgive your spouse and seek to restore your marriage. This is
something for each individual to decide depending on the circumstances. Many people
have rescued a broken marriage and found great happiness. Sometimes it is just not
possible.
Today the law courts allow many other reasons for divorce, but Jesus reminds us in this
teaching that marriage is something sacred, ordained by God, and binding in the promises
that are made. What God has blessed should not be undone by mankind for just any
reason but only when there is no other option.
This is largely to protect women and children from being dumped by men in their mid-life
crisis with wandering eyes who would abandon their family for a new, younger woman.
Today, it can also go the other way and a man might also find himself dumped and
abandoned with the children. Divorce laws and marriage laws are there to protect our
rights and especially the rights of the most vulnerable.
Jesus teaching on marriage is to protect the whole family unit and not just to complicate
things for the couple. It is not just coincidence that Jesus then goes on to talk about little
children because they are important to him. He is as much interested in the welfare of the
children as in the happiness of the couple.
Regarding the push for so-called marriage equality, it is a hard subject to talk about without
tempers flaring. We need to be caring and sympathetic to people of differing viewpoints
but as Christians, we also need to faithful to the bible’s teachings. How do we remain
faithful to the Bible’s teaching when views in society and even legislation are going in a
different direction?
Our primate, Archbishop Phillip Freier recently wrote in the Melbourne Age on the 3rd of
July 2015:
“It is no longer reasonable for us to expect that the state's approach will be as prescriptive
and demanding as the Christian understanding, but nor is it reasonable for the state to
expect Christians to give up their comprehensive and long-standing view (of marriage).
So the merit of a simple, one size fits all, legal contract carried out by the state, followed by
personal celebrations of a near-infinite variety of possibilities, is that it protects particular
practices without confining those who do not follow them.
Christians could preserve their concept of holy matrimony. Of course non-religious couples
can be just as sincere and earnest in their vows, but what especially sets the Christian
understanding apart from non-believers is that a third party is involved: God.”
Jesus shows us God’s purpose for marriage in these verses.
We do well to heed them.