_an exercise in journalism
CCCU SUMMER SCHOOL 2014
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
Hello…
What follows is a collection of articles by 21 talented new writers
from all walks of life. We cover just about everything from pagans
to Playstations and banger racing to bums and boobs.
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Jenni Bayliss Editor
Sue Cooper Deputy Editor
Janelle Tumlos Features Editor
Ash Medhurst Technical Alessio Gallo Design
We would like to thank the team for their
unstinting support, tolerance and good humour.
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ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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6 T UNICKS OFF
IN FOLKESTONE
By Jenni Bayliss
8 D IETS – FASHION – SEX:
INSIDE TEEN MINDS
By Rosie Belfiore
10 R OOM
TO WRITE
By Sue Cooper
12 L OVE BITES
AND LIE-INS
VOTED OUT?
By Kate Holloway
20 F OOL’S GOLD
TELEVISION
By Morris James
22 C YBER
THREATS
By Anne Lever
24 C RAZY
GOLF
By Fred Cox
By Ben McQuilliam
14 O F SCROLL AND
26 G AMING AIN’T CHEAP.
SCREEN
By Ellen Dibsdall
16 P AGAN JACK
IS BACK
By Rachel Hogan
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18 V OTES AT 16
IT’S BLOODY EXPENSIVE
By Ash Medhurst
28 M USIC MAKES
YOU DEAF!
By Becky Noble
30 T HE KIDS BEHIND
THE SCREENS
By Chloe Oaten
32 T HE LAST OF
THE ROMANTICS
By Dave Stevenson
42 F ROZEN
IN TIME
By Rory Wills
44 G RIST TO
THE MILL
By Victoria Withers
34 B ANGER
BROTHERS
By Lorna Terry
36 T RENDING
By Janelle Tumlos
38 C HRIST CHURCH’S
VC TELLS ALL
By Sarah Violleau
40 T HE RIFF
OF DESTINY
By Richard Whale
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ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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WRITTEN BY
Jenni Bayliss
THE WEATHER WAS MERCIFULLY MILD
AS 156 VOLUNTEERS WERE GUIDED
TO A SECRET LOCATION AND INVITED
TO STRIP NAKED FOR NEW YORK
ARTIST, SPENCER TUNICK’S LATEST
‘HUMAN INSTALLATION.’
“Everyone was in high spirits,” said Lauren Holmes,
one of the models who bared all in the name of art.
“It felt very natural. Spencer is a lovely guy and he
made everyone feel comfortable.”
“In the end we had around 3780 votes,”
said Brigitte. “800 more than the
nearest competition.”
To prevent a public gawp-fest, the shoot location
was kept secret. Even the volunteer models had
no clue of their destination when they arrived
to register on Thursday 15th May.
They were led down to the Warren, a secluded,
rugged patch of Folkestone coastline and invited
to disrobe. “ We didn’t have time to think about it,”
said Lauren. “It felt like less than a minute in front
of the camera.”
Tunick is renowned for his photographs of nudes in public places.
Born in Middletown, New York in 1967, he has photographed
naked volunteers all over the world, yet ironically he has been
refused permission to do the same in his native city.
AUTHOR
Jenni Bayliss
BIO
The St George’s Galler y was approached last autumn by Culture24
and offered the chance to apply for Tunick to create his latest
project, Scope Out, a “Homage to f ilm,” here in Folkestone.
FIND OUT MORE
In Januar y the `I’m Ready For Spencer!’ campaign began. Whilst the
rest of us wrapped up against the cold, Folkestone business owners
got naked to raise awareness and rally votes for the cause and local
coffee shops doubled as polling stations.
siblingwitchery.blogspot.co.uk
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Ar tistic Director Brigitte Orasinski jumped at the chance, and the
Galler y was shor tlisted alongside others in Hastings and Brighton.
The competition was on.
The genius of this work is that you have
to actively participate in order to see
anything. It’s an intimate experience.
You are peeping through a hole at
a naked stranger.
I was hear tened by such positive body images:
normal people with normal saggy bottoms and
boobs and round tummies. Far-removed from
the smooth, unrealistic, plasticised sirens that litter
the media and undermine our collective conf idence.
Beautiful, natural forms with the ancient cliffs rising
up majestically behind them. Un-airbrushed,
un-photo-shopped, un-digitalised and unashamed.
The people on the English coast, however, couldn’t wait to get
their kit off for him. All manner of wobbly bits were displayed
in an effor t to woo the great man to our shores.
Jenni is the mother of two teenage boys,
a goddess baker, a part-time degree student
and a freelance writer. She gets cranky if
she doesn’t glimpse the sea at least once
a week and eats chocolate like it’s going
out of fashion. Much of her time is spent
cooking up bribes to make her children
spend time with her, or burying herself in
her writer’s den. Her motto is ‘life is short
so wear as many pretty dresses as you can.’
A clear, Perspex wall runs almost the leng th of the
space, punctured all the way along on both sides
with waves of brightly coloured viewf inders. An
LED light sits behind each base to illuminate the
por trait within.
“It’s a lovely way to look at the human form and
the landscape,” said Brigitte.
No digital photography was used and as soon
as the shoot was over, the f ilm was taken up
to London to be processed. Each individual
photograph was placed inside a keychain viewf inder.
Following a raucous evening preview, the Galler y,
situated at the top of the Old High Street, opened
its doors to the public. “Most of the response has
been ver y positive,” said Lauren. “People come in
and have a good giggle.”
If I were to be picky, I would lament the lack of
group image for which Tunick is famous, but maybe
it’s a good thing. He has given Folkestone something
unique, something unexpected.
“I felt liberated,” said Lauren, smiling. And as I squinted
my way through the exhibit, that sentiment shone out
from all those who’d got ready for Spencer.
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ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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WRITTEN BY
Rosie Belfiore
OUR CORRESPONDENT ROSIE BELFIORE
IS ALARMED TO FIND TEENAGERS
DON’T REALISE THE CONSEQUENCES
OF GROWING UP BEFORE THEIR TIME.
“I’ve tried to stop them.” Sue (42), mother of f if teen-year-old
twins Jonno and Mia, tells me how she struggles to cope with
her children’s lifestyle changes.
Mia was a healthy size 8-10 nine months ago but her clothes now
fall off her because the media present the normal look for girls
as skin and bones. Jonno replaces meals with protein shakes,
and his obsession with the gym is making him skip school.
“Generations are f lying past, ready to take on
the world,” says Sue.
She believes it’s the media’s inf luence that is making young teens
think they need a ‘thigh-gap’.
AUTHOR
Rosanna Belfiore
BIO
Rosie is a Creative and Professional Writing
student who aspires to own a wedding
franchise. A crazy mix? No! Working with
beautiful things, words and dresses- is
what makes Rosie happy.
Motto: ‘People don’t stop laughing because
they grow old- they grow old because they
stop laughing.’
FIND OUT MORE
rosiebelfiorenotes.tumblr.com
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Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, states that he doesn’t
like “ugly people” wearing his clothes. The company has been sued
numerous times for discrimination. Apparently, cer tain people’s
appearance goes against their ‘Look Policy’. “It’s ignorance like this
that makes people believe looks are ever ything and it pierces the
fragile minds of developing teenagers,” Sue says.
I know a group of teenage girls who look years older than what
they are. The change in a young teen’s appearance compared with
f ive years ago is dramatic. Preteen girls wear padded bras and belly
tops. Boys the same age wear designer brands with the waist bands
halfway down their legs.
My training at Debenhams included a visual test guessing the ages
of images of various girls and boys. I guessed the majority were
older than what they were and the manager said not one employee
had guessed them all right.
Debenhams have raised the age limit at which one
may buy a knife, so teenagers have to look older to
get hold of one. “It’s too diff icult to tell these days.
Boys are shooting up and girls wear make-up that
ages their face,” said training manager Barbara.
“Jonno’s mind is so set on getting that ‘ beach-bod’
that he’s forgetting how impor tant school work is,”
says Sue. “I’m scared he’ll leave school without his
GCSEs and Mia will end up with a boyfriend twice
her age because she dresses like a 20 year old.”
“As a parent, I’m worried about how quickly my
twins are growing up. Being 15 is diff icult as they’re
stepping up the maturity ladder, but they need to
think about the consequences of their actions. As the
years go by I think parents are f inding it diff icult to
maintain control,” Sue shares.
Young adults need to be given
responsibilities – but the word ‘young’
comes before ‘adults’ for a reason.
“Mia is worried about when to have sex as a lot of
her friends have done it already. Some are only 14,”
Sue says.
“A friend of mine’s daughter has only
just turned 16 and has had the horror
of choosing to have an abortion.
That’s a decision no young girl is
ready for.”
A group of teenage boys in Ashford has recently
been involved in violent gang stabbings and have
been arrested on drug charges. Knowing them
personally, I f ind this distressing. I have seen them
grow up and they had so much potential to make
something of their lives. Now they have no option
but to rely on their gangs as family.
Working in retail has shown me the difference
between what parents would choose their
daughters to wear and what the daughters would
choose for themselves. Parents I have spoken to
are deeply concerned, believing some styles are
too old for the age group they are aimed at.
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ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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WRITTEN BY
Sue Cooper
JANE BISHOP OFFERS UNIQUE LIFELINE
TO BELEAGUERED NOVELISTS. ROOM
308 AT THE WALPOLE IS PROVING A
LITERARY DYNO-ROD FOR THE
BUNGED-UP AUTHOR.
Jane Bishop glides across the lounge of the Walpole Bay Hotel.
Her feet are bare. She is smiling. I have asked for an inter view
and been invited to breakfast.
Jane ushers me into a dining room f illed with the aromatic whiff
of coffee, bacon and warm pastries. She stops to speak to an
elderly gentleman smiling at us from a table by the window.
AUTHOR
Sue Cooper
BIO
Sue Cooper is a mother, grandmother
and vintage student at Canterbury
Christchurch University. She was a
nurse in Sussex, a spiritual teacher and
shepherdess in France, and she now lives
is Broadstairs, studying and working as a
freelance writer. She is passionate about
French cafés, Indian sunsets, wild flower
meadows and coffee cake. Her favourite
places to write are under the old French
apple tree surrounded by hens or tucked
in a Kentish beach hut gazing out to sea.
Sue is fascinated by the richness of human
existence and aspires to write about
everything and everybody who touches
her soul.
FIND OUT MORE
@SusiCoop
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“His father was head waiter here in 1947,”
she tells me. Arthur Saltzman, the Oscar winning
f ilmmaker, is over from Hollywood making a
f ilm documentary, “Margate Paradiso”.
The Walpole has always drawn people of an ar tistic ilk: writers,
f ilmmakers and ar tists, including Margate’s Tracey Emin who
visits regularly.
The hotel, built in 1914 by Louisa Budge, remained in the same
family for generations. When the Bishops bought it they walked
into a treasure trove: beds, linen, silver, guest registers. Nothing
had been thrown away.
The “living museum”, f illed with memorabilia from the hotel
and gif ts from the public, has provided locations and props for T V,
f ilm, music videos and You Tube shoots: both professional and
by students of the creative ar ts.
Jane Bishop loves to nur ture creative talent, and is now proposing
a “writer in residence” grant to help commissioned authors suffering
from writer’s block. She is offering a complimentar y stay in Room
308 for up to a month. This is a writer’s dream. But why 308?
“Things happen here…I just accept them as normal,”
she says. She tells me how three guests staying
in that room have came down to breakfast
exclaiming, “there’s something about this place”,
“been struggling”, “ just this morning ever ything
cleared and I can write again.”
“There is something about the
atmosphere that is calming,”
she explains.
Jane tells me she and husband Peter fell in love
with the Walpole when they were thir teen
years old.
“It was so beautiful and vibrant.
It represented another way of life
for us.”
“We never went inside. It wasn’t for people like us,”
but they loved to watch the “posh people” with
their cars, and the children with their nannies
going for pony rides on the beach.
Mr and Mrs Budge made the couple a remarkable
offer. They gif ted them the hotel for 5 years,
giving them a chance to f ind f inancial backing,
which came with six months to spare.
Louisa Budge would be happy. The Bishops have
rescued the Walpole and, with immense love,
restored the hotel to its former grace and beauty.
Eager to feel the atmosphere, I ask Jane if I can
take a peek at Room 308. She slides back the trellis
gates of the 1927 Otis lif t and we glide up to the
third f loor.
Comfor table, simple and f illed with May sunshine,
it cer tainly has a comfor ting ambience. I stand by
the French windows looking out across the sea,
and imagine the rising sun casting warm rays across
the coverlet.
Well, if any room could beckon
back the muse, it must be
Room 308. This is a room
to write in.
During the 70s and 80s business went downhill,
and when the owners f inally put the hotel on
the market it was semi-derelict.
Jane and Peter had “a burning ambition …
to rescue the Walpole.”
“When we walked through the door for the f irst time,
it felt like we were coming home,” she says. “This was
what we were put here to do.” But the bank turned
them down.
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ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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WRITTEN BY
Fred Cox
IT IS ESSENTIAL TO INVEST IN AN
ALARM CLOCK AND A MAP, SUGGESTS
FRED COX, AS YOUR FIRST MONTH AT
UNIVERSITY WILL PROBABLY BE SPENT
HUNG-OVER AND LOOKING FOR
WHERE YOUR CLASSES ARE HELD.
My preconception of university was that it would be something
like school, except more grown up. Err, no… Replace desks and
PowerPoints with a crazy combination of wild par ties, working
all night and sleeping all day and intellectual debates in pubs.
While tr ying to f ind out where I would be living for the nex t year,
I was somewhat surprised to f ind a fellow student who was either
ver y drunk or spoke some language unknown to mankind.
My f irst week can be summed up by the introductor y gif t basket:
a book list, two beers, a Nando’s coupon, a map, some breath mints
and two condoms. Your f latmates will instantly become your friends
and will stay that way for the whole year, provided you don’t come
back drunk at 4 am when they have an exam at 9 am.
AUTHOR
Fred Cox
BIO
Fred Cox was born in London in 1993.
Currently living as a student at Canterbury
Christ Church University, I am doing a
Creative and Professional Writing degree,
with aspirations of one day becoming a
writer. He enjoys reading, football, boxing,
skiing and squash as well as going out with
mates and generally having a good time.
He is currently working on novel called
Devils Redemption and hopes to finish
it soon.
FIND OUT MORE
fclll@canterbury.ac.uk
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RECOMMENDATION NO. 1: Get a room with
a toilet, as vomiting on the communal couch is
not a great way to get to know your f latmates.
I was glad to discover that Fresher’s week lives up to its reputation
as a descent into hedonism and debaucher y. But it’s also is
celebration of people coming together from all over the world in
pursuit of higher learning. It’s an introduction to University life,
albeit a rather glamourized, only-happens-once-a-year kind of life.
But it is a fantastic way to make friends – such as when people are
cheering for you to drink a dir ty shot of what you hope to God is
yoghur t. Dressing up in costumes and going on pub crawls is not
only fun, but is also a great way to learn your surroundings.
RECOMMENDATION NO. 2:
If you get lost on a pub crawl,
just follow the sound of a hundred
young men singing… very badly.
RECOMMENDATION NO.4:
Make sure you have, literally a shitload
of painkillers. They should last about
a week.
When I star ted looking at the societies,
I immediately wanted to join the football team.
However running f ive miles up a hill before playing
two hours of football, plus having not exercised in
f ive months, lef t me not quite making the team.
So I settled for another society, Boxing. I greatly
enjoyed this spor t but also felt slightly afraid –
some of the guys had muscles comparable to
that of Batman.
Suppor ted by my student loan, the f irst month of
University was spent as if I was the Wolf of Wall
Street. Sadly, this ended with a rather sternly
worded phone call from my parents. Nor surprising
as more of ten than not I woke up with a hangover,
which grew decidedly worse when I checked my
bank account.
RECOMMENDATION NO.3: NEVER!
Underestimate how out of shape you
are. Seriously! You will be reduced to
a wheezing 80 year-old with asthma,
heart burn and a limp.
RECOMMENDATION NO.5:
Before starting Uni, get some
Brownie points with your parents.
You’ll need them when you can’t
pay the rent.
First impressions didn’t seem to matter. This was
for tunate as I first met my tutor covered in love bites,
reeking of alcohol and swearing like Malcolm Tucker.
Despite my appearance and demeanour I was warmly
welcomed and introduced to our first course, though
a shower and aspirin might have helped to improve
perceptions in subsequent meetings.
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WRITTEN BY
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
Ellen Dibsdall
WHY MODERN DAY STUDENTS PREFER
INK TO IPHONES
Photo credit flickr: HETK ABINET
I sit f irmly on the fence. All I really care about is
the stor y. But for students at university, it makes
all the difference.
Photo credit flickr: SPYKSTER
“I need to take ten books with me on holiday,”
says Dave as he digs out another pile of paperbacks
from a Waterstones bag in his university room.
Sitting on his bed, I lean for ward and peer at his vast collection
of colour ful books, each one ordered alphabetically, the spines
only minutely creased despite being read.
AUTHOR
Ellen Dibsdall
BIO
Ellen Dibsdall is a first year student at
Canterbury Christ Church University and
an award winning fiction writer. Her work
has mostly been described as ‘weird’
but no doubt unique.
FIND OUT MORE
@EllenDibsdall
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“Ten?”
“Yes.”
“Why ten?”
“One for each day,” he says. “One on the plane
there, one on the f irst day…”
I’ve always been envious of voracious readers.
I am a notoriously slow reader. My book collection is cer tainly visible
in my room, but not in the vast quantity that Dave has. At least
half of it, if not more, is invisible. This is due to the fact that I own
an e-reader. Does that mean I prefer the ever growing convenience
of the modern day e-book? Not par ticularly. Does that mean I prefer
the classical coffee stained paperback? Not really.
A recent UK study published by
‘Talking New Media’ found that many
students still preferred a physical copy
over what the e-readers have to offer.
This gave us a new insight –
the modern-day readership isn’t
as modern as we think it is.
The e-reader is pretty much per fect. There are
hundreds of different types on the market, all light,
compact and easy to carry. The ability to hold
hundreds of books in one place takes up
less space than hundreds of physical copies and is
easily accessible. They can connect to Wi-Fi, and the
text and font size can be changed. The e-book itself
is often cheaper than its paper equivalent and most
of the classics (such as Shakespeare, Chaucer and
Dickens etc) are all available as free downloads.
You can even have a story read out loud to you.
Many prefer paperbacks so they can annotate
the text anywhere and everywhere. Despite readers
being new technology, students aren’t par ticularly
fussed about having one to show off to their friends.
This study shows that it does nothing to improve
their statuses with their peers. Most people are
more impressed by their fantastic display of
book collections which students openly admit
to being proud of.
Surprisingly, many of the students sur veyed
preferred the book over the e-reader because
they didn’t want to be ‘enslaved by technology’.
A sad fact, but still ver y honest and true.
“If I had one of these,” says Dave, as
he jabs at the screen of my e-reader.
“It would just feel like I was reading
some online news story. It wouldn’t feel
like I’d read and f inished a book at all.”
But even after listing the endless qualities of e-reader
technology, students have yet to be swayed by its
charms. Their reasons are simple. The weight and
the feel of a book make a key difference. Students
are also renowned for their extremely low budgets,
so buying an e-reader is simply out of the question.
Most say that if they have to read an e-book, they
would probably read it off their phone via an app
rather than an e-reader.
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ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
PAGAN JACK
IS
BACK
WRITTEN BY
Rachel Hogan
HASTINGS IS AGAIN FILLED WITH
GREEN AS THE MAY DAY CELEBRATIONS
TAKE OVER THE TOWN.
Rosie smothers herself with green face paint. Her day star ts early
as she and her fellow Bogies dress themselves as green as possible.
All are accessorised with f lower crowns and vines, in honour of Jack
himself. “The parade is the easy par t,” she tells me.
Hastings has also been decorated with hanging fresh leaves and
ribbons, with corners of buildings being covered with faces of
the Green Man. Walking through the town, it’s easy to see the
impor tance of this Pagan event and its traditions.
May bank holiday in Hastings is celebrated with
a huge parade. It brings thousands of locals and
tourists to the town, all wanting to celebrate,
something Hastings does best.
For viewers the day begins at 10 o’clock in the morning, when Jack
is released. The drums star t, piercing the sea breeze. The happy
cheers from the Bogies and Dancers allow you to be captivated by
the surreal characters, clad in unusual costumes.
AUTHOR
Rachel Hogan
BIO
“My left hand will live longer than my right.
The rivers of my palms tell me so.
Never argue with rivers. Never expect your
lives to finish at the same time.”
-Bob Hicok, ‘Other Lives and Dimensions
and Finally a Love Poem’
Rachel Hogan- Creative and Professional
Writing Student- who lives to read and
reads to live.
FIND OUT MORE
itsrachelwrites.tumblr.com
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The Green Man dances through the small streets,
accompanied by his Bogies and Morris Dancers,
all smelling of spring, beer, and excitement.
Hundreds gather in the roads and on the hills to
glimpse Jack, who is 9 f t tall and covered in fresh
leaves and a f lower crown.
Music is a major par t of the celebrations.
It begins on the f irst of May each year, where Jack ’s
followers drum to the sunrise, welcoming the
spring and summer months. In the parade,
which is held the f irst Monday of May, there are
drummers, f lute players, and bells from the Morris
Dancers. The sounds travel and bounce from
the old buildings, drif ting towards the West Hill,
overlooking the sea and Old Town.
The Bogies have a tradition of taking
a quick drink in a local pub before
moving up to the West Hill.
It is a celebration, after all.
Jack in the Green is formally a Pagan event, though
the Green Man can be found in many cultures. He
was said to appear in vegetation, a face peering
through the gaps in the trees. In another form he
is seen as a mix of human and foliage – where his
limbs are concealed by leaves.
Af ter the procession has reached the top of
the hill, there are per formances from both the
drummers and Morris Dancers. People sit in groups
overlooking the sea and stage, relaxing and enjoying
the charged atmosphere. Children run around
with their Jack masks and green noses while their
parents, drink in hand, watch the strange ceremony.
Towards the late af ternoon Jack is unintentionally
killed. The slaying of the Green Man relates back
to how his leaves are said to bring fer tility and
luck to women. One by one the leaves are plucked
from Jack ’s body, reducing his life source: nature.
The festivities over, Rosie, with her
face still green and dress pinned
with f lowers, leads her Bogies to pubs
dating back centuries. Hastings is a
marvellous town – especially when
there are Bogies and leaves
everywhere you look.
It’s said in this ancient town and in Pagan histor y,
that if Jack allows you a leaf from his vine, it will
bring life and fer tility. The symbolism of the Green
Man is uncer tain, although in Paganism the idea of
nature and man colliding is a key aspect in the belief
system. Jack is said to be a spirit that represents
rebir th and renewed grow th each spring.
17
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
VOTES AT 16
VOTED OUT?
WRITTEN BY
Kate Holloway
AS BRITAIN MARVELS OVER UKIP’S
UPRISING, KATE HOLLOWAY ASKS
IF ITS YOUNGER GENERATION VOTERS
ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE
VOTING FOR.
At the last elections, I was an innocent 17 year old. I was convinced
that if I were one year older, I would be able to vote for the
Liberal Democrats and break the continuing cycle of Labour vs
Conser vative. In hindsight, it wouldn’t have been my f inest decision.
I was one of the ver y few who took an interest. Those who joined
me all agreed they would vote Lib Dem, despite the fact we knew
little about what the par ty represented. But we did think Nick Clegg
looked like an alright chap who could possibly make a difference.
Two years later and we f inally have the vote – this time for the EU
elections and not a single person I know has taken advantage of this.
We have other things on our mind.
Kate Holloway
BIO
Kate Holloway often compares herself to
a good short story – she doesn’t use a lot
of words but she knows how to use them.
@kateholloway13
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In the 2014 elections the turnout was
barely over 30%. This f igure is largely
due to the massive apathy of under
25’s, who are more likely to vote
for their favourite band in an MTV
competition than the elections.
The proposition to give under 16’s the vote was
put for ward by the Liberal Democrats in their 2010
election campaign. However, after opposition from
Conser vatives it was placed on the backburner.
A backbench motion has put it on our radar again,
but do we need it?
The bill was popular with MPs across
the country. The public don’t seem
as enthusiastic.
As of 27th May, only 3,686 people have offered
their suppor t to lower the voting age on votesat16.
org. That is less than 0.006% of the UK’s current
population, significantly lower than the percentage
of people under the age of 18. This suggests that
16 year olds either have no interest in being given
the vote, or are uninformed of the current potential
changes to legislation.
AUTHOR
FIND OUT MORE
Photo credit flickr: THERESA THOMPSON
So should 16-year-olds have the vote if under 25’s show disinterest
in politics? Even for those who show an interest, there’s still the
matter of ‘what do they really know?’
This could be due to a lack of media coverage about
the bill, currently being overshadowed by UKIP ’s
new-found popularity. Another reason why cutting
the voting age may not be a positive change.
The media rules the roost. It decides who we
should like, who we shouldn’t and who are not
impor tant enough to matter. There has been a
surge of coverage of Nigel Farage, the UKIP leader,
whose par ty dominates the broadsheets while the
opposition struggles to keep itself on the front page.
This puts Farage and his men in good stead.
If the general consensus on twitter is that
David Cameron is falling apar t then why would
its users vote for his par ty?
Young people are dependant on news sources,
not all of which are reliable, to make choices
which could mean they aren’t fully aware of
UKIP ’s campaign promises. The most prominent depar ting the EU.
A large propor tion of 16-year-olds won’t know
that the EU offers benef its such as free trade,
investment oppor tunities and structural funds.
They may have the intellectual capacity to learn
how these benef it us, but they lack the experience
to understand the huge impact they make.
Unlike my 16 year old self, I know
whose name I tick on my ballot card
can damage my country. That is as
good a reason as any to question
whether cutting the voting age is
vital in brightening the UK’s future.
19
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
N
IO
IS
V
E
L
E
T
D
L
O
G
S
’
L
FOO CAN’T WATCH GAME OF THRONES
OR WHY I
WRITTEN BY
Morris James
WE’RE LIVING IN THE NEW GOLDEN AGE
OF TELEVISION OR AT LEAST SO SAYS
COMEDIAN KATIE WILLERT. APPARENTLY
TELEVISION HAS REACHED LEVELS OF
SOPHISTICATION EQUIVALENT TO THE
VENUS DE MILO WHERE YOU CAN SEE
A WOMAN NAKED AND NOT GIGGLE
OR BECOME AROUSED.
Although I think there is truth to this, I also realise the reason
these programs are repeatedly commissioned is not so much
because they offer up ar tistic experiences. It’s because they offer
a variety of new, interesting ways for us as viewers to live
vicariously through a televised avatar.
Breaking Bad gave us the chance to think like criminal masterminds,
as well as giving us the humorous spectacle of watching the dad
from Malcolm in the Middle go completely insane. British drama
Downton Abbey regaled us with saucy plots and fresh look at a
changing point in histor y. But if we’re honest, really we’re there
to ogle the lavish upper class lifestyle, ancient oak sideboards,
low class ser vants and Dame Maggie Smith.
AUTHOR
Morris James
BIO
Morris is a writer and satirist residing
in Canterbury but living inside his head.
He has an expert opinion of himself and
probably a low opinion of you as well as
a perpetual disdain for his keyboard. In
addition to making comics under the name
of Cobalt Quill and Jam under the name of
Mrs Muggins, he also writes stuff like this.
FIND OUT MORE
xxxx
20
And of course the ever-popular Game of Thrones lets us pretend
we read the books. Not that I’m putting anyone down for not
reading the books. Both the show and the books contain the same
basic elements, namely tits and dragons.
I am rather embarrassed to say that
I fall into the latter category. Like
many people I use television for
purposes of escapism, switching
between pretending to understand
the politics of HBO’s The Newsroom,
to planning an elegant dinner party
and a few murders in NBC’s Hannibal.
But whenever I watch these things, I always feel
a pang of guilt. Because I know when Doctor Lecter
goes into his monologue about the minds
of psychopaths that I am not going to understand
any of it. Instead, I sit and wait for the next bit
of ar tistically executed gore.
When you look at the shows you see that they’ve been constructed
to allow the audience to live out a variety of different fantasies.
I always feel like I’m not giving it my full attention
or appreciation, I feel like a man who sees the
Mona Lisa as ‘ just a painting.’ And what’s worse is
that I know there are people who do understand it,
who are surely looking down their nose at me from
up in their ivor y towers.
But overall this causes some problems with the intended audience.
Each of these shows has two intended audiences, that of the writers
and directors, the people who can appreciate the complexities and
have read the books. And those of the network and production
companies, which includes ever yone in the world and their dog.
But something else I realised is that a lot of this
is hollow pretension. A thin layer of psychological
breadcrumbs over a delicious action-packed jam
pudding. A thin narrative thread connecting gun
battles and few inexplicable karate f ight scenes.
Realistically Game of Thrones offers nothing you
couldn’t already get from Japanese Porn.
And no matter how smar t you are for the most par t
you’re probably watching these shows for the same
reason as me. No matter how good stor y may be,
it will never have the drawing power of dragons
or ultra-violence.
On the whole I don’t think we’ve entered a new
golden era. We simply have a greater range of shows
to choose from than before. Programmes touted
as high ar t are usually just offering something we
haven’t seen or weren’t allowed before. Novelty is
no guarantee of quality and remember, just because
TV has star ted swearing and flashing you its boobs
doesn’t make it more mature.
21
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
CYBER
THREATS
WRITTEN BY
Anne Lever
SOME SOCIAL MEDIA SITES NOW
ALLOW ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR,
AND FRIENDLY MEDIA GROUPS ARE
HAUNTED BY BULLIES.
Cyberbullying can be closer than you think. My friend Gerr y had a
call from his f if teen-year-old son Craig. Af ter a while, Gerr y’s tone
changed. He asked, “What did it say?”, “Have you made a note of it?”
and “Don’t worr y! Just print off a copy of it and tell the police.” It didn’t
take much to work out that something unsavour y was going on –
and it wasn’t the giant pizza that had just been delivered! Craig
was being bullied online.
Craig is a teenager with elderly disabled parents who had separated.
Bullies thrive on dysfunctional families like this, and they haunt
Craig’s favourite website. His bullying has lasted three years with
personal insults on his Facebook group, a personal/verbal attack on
one of his parents, threats to Craig and his cat, and getting blamed
by his friends. This kind of behaviour breeds mistrust and fear.
AUTHOR
Anne Lever
BIO
Anne Lever, a mature student at CCCU,
has been writing poems since 1992.
Some of them have been published by:
Triumph House, Book Mark Publications,
Forward Press, Anchor Press, United Press,
VCC News, Community magazine, and
Around Kent Folk magazine. She has also
appeared on-line under ReadWave.com and
Fiftywordstories.com. She has produced four
fund-raising poetry books, raising nearly
£3,000 for a local charity.
Her interests include folk music, playing
bongos and bodhran, storytelling, writing
short stories, humour, and going to the
gym. She has also written a couple of
protest songs and parodies.
FIND OUT MORE
anne.lever2@btinternet.com
22
Craig said that at his school there are 2-4 bullies and victims in
each year. Tragically, an 11 year-old boy and a 13 year-old girl have
committed suicide. These represent the most vulnerable groups,
according to Sharon Marris in Metro (27 May 2014).
According to www.puresight.com, the problem is
worldwide. Tragic youngsters who have committed
suicide because of cyberbullying include: Ryan Halligan
(13) from Vermont, USA; Rachel Neblett (17) from
Kentucky, USA; Hannah Smith (14) from Leicestershire,
UK; and Amanda Todd (16) from Canada.
Sharon Marris states that in Britain just under 9,800
young people under 17 were taken to casualty in
2012; this had risen by nearly 30% in a year. Rachel
Welch, director of self harm.co.uk said cyberbullying
was “def initely one reason” for the increase.
Among boys aged seven to ten, self-harming ranges
from attempted poisoning to attempted hanging.
In the over 11 age group, last year in the UK 24,545
girls were hospitalised, compared with 6,802 boys.
“Often a girl might cut herself and get hospitalised,
but boys tend to punch a wall,” said Mrs. Welch.
According to Sharon Marris of
the Metro (27 May 2014), 38%
of British youngsters have
experienced cyberbullying.
Another common tactic with the bullies is
publishing nude photos of girls on-line.
According to www.puresight.com/Real-Life-Stories.
Hope Witsell (13) of Florida, USA,
forwarded a nude photo to a boy she
liked. This ended up online, resulting
in name calling, cyberbullying –
and Hope’s suicide.
Hope Witsell
Gerr y says that to deal with online bullying you
must repor t it to the relevant social media group,
who will inform the police, and they can trace and
visit the perpetrator. If necessar y, the bullies will be
banned from the group.
For tunately, Gerr y, a trained counsellor, has told
Craig what to do, and how he can take control.
Thanks to his dad’s wise advice, Craig can talk
openly about cyberbullying – and help others deal
with this vile crime.
23
CRAZY GOLF
WRITTEN BY
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
Ever wondered what prison life is like? See it for
yourself ! The nine-hole course just so happens to
be situated inside the grounds of Louisiana State
Penitentiar y, America’s most infamous high security
jail. The course was built and is preser ved by the
jail’s residents, most of whom are on Death Row.
People who wish to play must apply 48 hours
in beforehand in order for guards to do a
background check.
Ben McQuilliam
IF YOU EVER THOUGHT GOLF WAS
A SEDATE PASTIME, THINK AGAIN.
A GENTLE HACK AROUND, ARGUES
BEN MCQUILLIAM, COULD BE A MATTER
OF LIFE AND DEATH.
The most treacherous golf course of them all is
in Camp Bonifas, a UN militar y command base.
Though surrounded by triple coils of razor wire,
it contains a single-hole course, par three which
is only 192 yards and a mere 2,400 metres away
from the most guarded frontier in the world.
It’s no place for a stroll, either. Surrounding it on
each side are live land mines and a pant-wettingly
tense atmosphere. Looking past the electric security
fences, you see soldiers armed and prepared to
die for South Korea. The edge of the course is
surrounded by golf clubs and balls that aren’t
wor th risking one’s life for. It is a golf ball graveyard.
There you have it. These are four
of the zaniest courses ever designed
by man. From wobbling clubs to
exploding balls, it’s pretty clear the
world does indeed have some strange
places to play golf. And one thing’s
now for sure, I’ll never look at golf
on television the same way again.
Golf is not the most exhilarating game, even on T V. Watching
someone clout a ball, jump in a buggy, drive for half an hour,
and then do it all again used to send me into a deep, comatose
state. But I was so, so, wrong.
AUTHOR
Ben McQuilliam
BIO
Ben McQuilliam is in his first year at
Canterbury Christ Church University
studying Creative and Professional Writing.
Before University, he studied at Suffolk
One College, where he did A levels in
Music Performance, Drama and English,
developing a passion for dramatic
writing and playwrights.
In addition to drama, he enjoys writing
short stories, with considerable influence
from Charles Dickens’. He recently started
writing non-fiction, producing exciting
sports pieces and film reviews.
Off the keyboard, his passions are for
football and films. Originally from London,
he currently resides in the University city
of Canterbury, drawing inspiration from
the many landmarks following his other
love of football and movies. .
FIND OUT MORE
xxxx
24
Golf courses can be some of the most eccentric –
even dangerous – places on Earth. From the strange
to the downright astonishing ,
Here are some the world’s most eccentric
golf courses.
La Jenny, near Bordeaux, is the only nudist golf course in the
universe. It is a little six-hole (!) naked phenomenon, and proves
that the best things really do come in small packages. People willing
to show off their . . . putting, must follow a strict set of rules.
Firstly, nudity is not optional for anyone; you have to take off all
your clothes in order to be allowed to play golf. Secondly, shyness is
against the rules; players must show admiration for their bodies and
must not hide their assets. Never theless, boasting is also forbidden,
so players blessed with large . . . clubs must keep them in the bag.
The club claims to offer its guests the ultimate relaxation experience.
Imagine shrinking clubs, temperatures f ifty degrees below zero,
white mounds of snow, hypothermia, and you have just pictured
a golf course situated high up in the perilous mountains of Uummanaq,
Greenland. Six-hundred kilometres nor th of the Arctic Circle,
the course is a small icy wasteland besieged with titanic icebergs.
The rules are exactly the same as a normal golf, except the holes
are twice the size and the ball is a f luorescent orange.
25
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
P L AY T H E
E
M
A
G
G
N
I
T
I
A
W
WRITTEN BY
Ash Medhurst
GAMING AIN’T CHEAP.
IT’S BLOODY EXPENSIVE.
Anthony always thought he’ d be better off collecting stamps.
“God knows it would be cheaper than gaming,” he says as he
needlessly hands over his mother’s hard-earned money.
“There are cheaper ways,” I tell him, but he doesn’t take notice.
He simply ignores my advice and tries desperately to shuff le
his weekly budget so he can feed his costly pastime.
The cost of gaming is astronomical. Each new
release costs at least £50, which sends shivers
down the wallet before we ever think about
the £400 that the console will cost you . . .
or you beloved parents.
SO, HOW IS A STUDENT SUPPOSED
TO MANAGE IT?
Firstly, I would advise you to pick your poison. Will you be a
Playstation Player, or are you a Nintendo Nerd, or maybe even
an XBOX ex tremist? Whilst it would be smashing to own ever y thing
these organisations can throw at us, it’s just not cost effective.
AUTHOR
Ash Medhurst
BIO
Ash Medhurst is a black belt in all the
martial arts. He is a ninja of the night
and the king of everything lemming.
He whittles away the moonlit hours
writing short stories that will never see
daylight. He also writes his own biography
so he can say whatever the hell he wants.
FIND OUT MORE
http://ashmed93.wix.com/ashmed93
26
Funding one console is diff icult enough.
Funding three, well, that’s just showing off.
At a quick, and rather foolish, glance, it could appear that Nintendo
would be the most wallet-friendly console because its latest release
(the Wii-U) costs around £150 less than its gaming counterpar ts.
However, as all gamers will know, a console is only as good as the
games you can play on it, and Nintendo has a nasty habit of charging
“a little ex tra” for their releases.
An aspect of gaming that I’ve never really
understood, is the “oh so wonder ful” collector’s
edition. Why do I need another poorly-painted
statue and endless amounts of shiny tat that will
probably end up on Ebay any way?
THERE IS ALWAYS AN
EXCEPTION.
For me, that exception was Batman. I was desperate
to f ind some dynamic way of getting the game on
release day. However, because I wasn’t willing to
sell a kidney (or any other par t of my body for that
matter), Batman had to wait.
There can be the odd advantage to a collector’s
edition, for example, they occasionally allow your
character to wear a silly hat or something else
so mind-numbingly useless that it actually pains
me to pay for it.
That is the great secret that Anthony and every
other student gamer needs to discover.
RELEASE DAY.
WAIT.
It is the holy grail for gamers, but for me,
and other tightwads alike, it is the dawning of a
new apocalypse. I shudder at the thought of
paying top-dollar instead of waiting six months
and getting the game at half the retail price.
Yes, it may give you bragging rights
because “you got Titanfall on Day 1”
but your wallet won’t brag. It will just
lie there, empty, feeling like its
had its throat cut.
• Wait for a month.
• Wait for the game to go on offer.
•W
ait for someone with a small brain and a
large wallet to buy the game on release day,
and then buy it off them when their done.
Anthony still can’t be dragged from the retail shops
and into the second-hand ones. He still spends his
mother’s hard-earned money on release day and
hestill feeds his gaming addiction the expensive way.
You can’t teach an old gamer
new tricks.
If you’re looking at long-term costs (which I highly recommend you
do), you’re probably going to be better off paying the whacking-great
bill of £400 that will dent your morale as well as your checkbook,
and getting your games that little bit cheaper.
27
MUSIC
MAKES
YOU
ED AF!
WRITTEN BY
Becky Noble
THINK YOUR HEARING IS SAFE?
THINK AGAIN, URGES BECKY NOBLE
AS SHE MUSES ON THE WORLD
HEALTH ORGANISATION WARNINGS
ABOUT THE DANGER OF LOUD MUSIC.
At least I won’t be deaf, I thought af ter being blasted by the music
of the person sat nex t to me on the 5.29 from St Pancras.
The concrete evidence might not be 100% , but there are plenty
of facts to suggest that loud music can lead to hearing loss. iPods
can reach such high volumes that your hearing could be damaged
in as little as 15 minutes.
AUTHOR
Becky Noble
BIO
Becky is an avid fan of reading, writing
stories and is an aspiring fiction writer.
When she’s not reading and writing
she loves all things animé and hopes to
work within the video game industry.
FIND OUT MORE
bookworm1013@virginmedia.com
28
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
Musicians Plan B and Chris Mar tin are suppor ting a campaign warning
that loud music can cause permanent hearing loss. Many musicians
wear ear plugs when on stage to help reduce the damage that
might be done to their ears.
They are 3.6 times more likely to suffer hearing loss
because they are constantly around loud music.
This should give us an incentive to take care with how loud and how
of ten we listen to music.
A UK survey of 3.3 million non-musicians showed
about 280,000 suffered from hearing loss.
Loud music can lead to tinnitus (constant buzzing
in the ear) and is most common amongst musicians
and frequent concer t-goers. This is a downer for
music fans who enjoy seeing their favourite bands
live. It’s cer tainly made me rethink my use of the
volume button. Sometimes I listen to it too loud –
from now on I’ll be the f irst to turn it down.
An even more shocking statistic is
that approximately 12.5% of children
and adolescents have suffered
permanent damage to their hearing,
while approximately 17% of adults
have suffered the same.
The problems are too great to ignore. Because
of that I will be taking better care with how much
music I listen to and where I stand at concer ts.
I would urge people to take the risk seriously,
but I worr y that most people won’t care.
Ignoring the facts now could lead to it being
too late to save your hearing in the future.
What is it about loud music? Is it that we enjoy
being anti-social? Or is it that we are uncomfor table
in the company of strangers? For those of us who
don’t mind sitting quietly, the constant banging
from someone else’s headphones drives us nuts.
I have to listen to music in order to block out
the loud music from others. Don’t they have
constant headaches?
If the facts don’t scare you then maybe this will.
The noise of a rock concer t can be compared to
that of a chainsaw. Over time this constant abuse
of the ears could lead to the sounds of voices and
ever yday noises becoming permanently muff led and
distor ted.
So my advice is to wear ear plugs if you’re near
speakers at a concer t or avoid the speakers
completely. Watch how long and how loud you
listen to music. Don’t disregard the facts. Take the
warnings seriously – loud music really can make you
deaf. And once your hearing’s gone, it’s gone.
Next time I sit on the 5.29 from St Pancras
and have to listen to the endless thumpthump bashing away at the brain of the
passenger next to me, at least I can console
myself with the thought that it’s not my ears
that are being ruined..
29
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
D
N
I
H
E
B
S
D
I
K
THE
S
N
E
E
R
C
S
E
H
T
WRITTEN BY
Chloe Oaten
THERE ARE NO SUPPORT GROUPS
FOR OVERWEIGHT CHILDREN.
I SHOULD KNOW I WAS ONE,
SAYS CHLOE OATEN.
Childhood obesity has more than doubled in children
and quadrupled in adolescents in the past 30 years.
The media and healthcare ser vice focus on ‘why’ obesity in children
is on the rise, and ‘who’ is to blame, opposed to ‘how’ to help these
children. For instance, af ter searching for local suppor t groups and
websites that help young children and teenagers who are over weight,
I found it impossible.
Could this be the reason why so many children are
afraid to take the next step and lose the weight?
AUTHOR
Chloe Oaten
BIO
Chloe is a 20 year old Creative and
Professional Writing student from
Dartford, Kent. After university, she hopes
to actually have an idea what she wants
to do with her life, but until then she is
content with taking each day as it comes.
FIND OUT MORE
xxxx
30
When I was growing up, I was over weight. The NHS believe
weight loss groups such as Slimming World and Weight Watchers
do not teach you how to eat properly. This is why my doctor
referred me to a dietician instead. Dieticians are employed to
help adults and children to change their eating habits. But they
do not help to understand addiction to food. And af ter a month,
I stopped the visits. I think NHS do not consider the suppor t
weight loss groups offer, the suppor t these children need.
At 18, I had reached 16 stone and decided to tr y to lose weight
again. However, if I had not had the suppor t from my local
Slimming World Group, I would have not achieved my f ive stone
weight loss. I had always felt alone during my struggle, because
I was the biggest in my friendship group. But when I made a
friend who was also over weight, we provided each other with
suppor t and joined Slimming World.
After my weight loss, I feel like I have more self-conf idence and esteem
than I have ever had before. I want to help other children feel like I do now,
and sooner than I did.
The majority of the suppor t Slimming World
offered was through a Facebook group and on
their website. So, I began to think back to when
I was younger and over weight. I had wanted to
f ind other children online going through the same
ordeal as me. During my online search I found
one website: ‘www.blubberbuster.com’ - an
American website which caters for young children,
teenagers and parents. It has chat rooms where
children can offer suppor t to each other and
receive advice. However, anybody has access to
this website and even though it is monitored,
it could be targeted by cyber-bullies.
If the NHS created a website just for children,
could this be the answer? In recent years, there
has been a rise in social media usage in children
and teenagers, and nearly ever y child has a smar t
phone with access to the internet from any where.
I think this could be the answer I was searching for
in my teens. And if a website was created, children
could f ind the suppor t from other children, and still
have help from the health ser vice all in one place.
Fur thermore, parents could have a section to get
advice and talk to other parents. This would mean
children and their parents would have constant
access to suppor t and could result in a decrease
in child obesity.
The taboo of being an overweight child
could be the reason people have not
thought of creating such websites for
children to talk on. On the other hand,
it could be that people are afraid
that it would be another place to be
criticised, or a stomping ground for
bullies to air their views. However,
if it was possible to create a safe,
bully free environment online for
these children, shouldn’t it be done?
31
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
F
O
T
S
A
L
E
H
T
S
IC
T
N
A
M
O
R
E
TH
...
IR
A
FF
A
E
TH
F
O
D
EN
E
TH
S
’
IT
N.
A
RY
EG
M
SO LONG
WRITTEN BY
Dave Stevenson
‘WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY?’
MUSES OLIVE PENDERGHAST IN THE
2010 TEEN FILM EASY A. ‘DOES IT
ONLY EXIST IN 80’S MOVIES?’
Nowadays, Harr y wouldn’t have met Sally; he’d merely have swiped
past her prof ile on Tinder. The battle of wits between Tom Hanks
and Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail would now be reduced to a simple
You’ve Got Sex t. No one dreams of Breakfast at Tiffany’s anymore,
and no one has An Affair to Remember. Instead, we have breakfast
on the run if at all and casual hookups we can forget as quickly as
swiping BLOCK option on our iPhone.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the advent of the hook-up app is here.
In the age of casual sex, 24 hour relationships (and even those are
considered long term), and more people than ever signing up for
the seemingly hundreds of dating and meeting apps, I can’t help
but wonder: where does that leave a romantic?
AUTHOR
Dave Stevenson
BIO
Dave Stevenson is a student at Canterbury
Christ Church University. No-one calls
him David except for his mother when
he is in trouble. He loves his cat more
than life itself, along with Reese’s Cups
and One Direction. He has spent half a
decade trying to figure out if he is a
Carrie or a Miranda and he is still unsure.
FIND OUT MORE
fallingboy@hotmail.co.uk
32
I love romantic movies. This is a guilty admission,
because they have been so dumbed down and
simplif ied, to say you genuinely enjoy them is
essentially admitting your own mild stupidity.
I love watching two per fectly matched people fall in love on screen
because it is so much better than real life. I want to believe that
ever y thing can be per fect – the location, the weather, the clothes,
the words. I want to believe in the rom com world because the
real world outside the cinema is a daunting place.
It doesn’t matter to me that these movies are
populated with people who don’t exist in real
life, like the beautifully skinny female lead whose
one character f law is that she’s regarded – by her
friends, family and co-workers – as a greedy, foodobsessed pig. This per fectly slim actress, who no
doubt lost a decent chunk of weight to get the role
of the likeable lead in this movie, cannot stop her
friends cracking jokes about her two boyfriends
Ben & Jerr y and cries into her takeout menu when
no one calls her Friday night.
Our heroine has a few more clichés – she has a
gorgeously large apar tment despite never being
seen at work. She is a klutz, knocking things over
here and tripping over people there. And of course,
she has a sassily sex-obsessed best friend, who is
always eerily free for cosmopolitans at two in the
af ternoon on a Wednesday.
But when he meets the greedy, ice cream loving pig,
through a series of clichéd misunderstandings and
miscommunications, he has an off-screen lobotomy
and with a shrug of his shoulders will become a
New Man, taking mini breaks to the countr y and
telling our poor moo that she’s the one who he
was waiting for.
So there you have it. My life is not a
romantic comedy. Maybe it’s because
I don’t live in a rent controlled
apartment, I live in a student room
facing a car park. Or maybe it’s
because I’m not as sentimental as
I once thought.
The douche-bag leading man is an architect with
a streamlined, minimalistic white off ice. He barks
things like ‘I have no time for this!’ at his poor,
harried, over worked assistant.
33
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
R
E
G
N
BA BROTHERS
WRITTEN BY
Lorna Terry
IN A WORLD WHERE EVERYONE IS
MADE AN OUTSIDER FOR SOME REASON,
THERE IS ONE PLACE WHERE EVERYONE
IS TREATED EQUALLY.
“Oh darling, this is such a dir ty spor t,” the lady in the tweed exclaims
as she looks around for somewhere clean to sit. The husband rolls
his eyes as she perches on the concrete step.
Milling around are men in ripped tracksuit bottoms and oily shir ts
and women with hoop earrings big enough for an acrobat to
swing off. This is the best par t of banger racing.
It doesn’t seem to matter how you live, ever yone gathers for
one sole purpose – to watch cars get destroyed. Banger racing
has a reputation for being violent and unruly but this couldn’t
be fur ther from the truth. Beneath the dented ex terior,
there’s a thriving community.
In the full-contact version of the spor t, cars are of ten damaged
beyond repair, yet the driver of the dead car will shake hands
with whoever did the damage. As they look proudly over the dents
and twisted metal and laugh with each other, it’s easy to see that
these drivers have two different personas: the competitive side
that slams a car into the wall without hesitation and the human
side that just loves racing.
AUTHOR
Lorna Terry
BIO
Lorna loves rum but gets too seasick
to be a pirate. When she is sober,
Lorna enjoys horse-riding, motorcycles
and puddle jumping.
FIND OUT MORE
@makelovetotoast
34
Considering these cars take weeks to adapt from
road cars to a track-worthy banger, it never ceases
to astound how the racers can laugh with each
other and then be so brutal on the track.
World Champion banger driver Lee Hughes describes himself as
“ brute force and ignorance.” You may think that because he’s world
champion, he walks around like he owns the place however if
you see him around the pits he will frequently be chatting away
to anybody who wants to talk to him.
If a child approaches their favourite
driver, the driver will often allow them
to sit in his car and let them pretend
they’re driving while he chats to the
parents. It’s this community spirit
that keeps the sport alive.
Mark Welland is a f igure of ten seen gracing the
pace car for a post-race victor y lap. A former world
champion, he isn’t afraid to do whatever it takes
to win. In some races, he may not even touch
another car but in others he quite happily rips
through the competition, slamming cars into the
fence or spinning them off the track. Despite all
this Welland describes himself as “gentle and shy”,
something you wouldn’t believe from seeing him
in action. ­­­
Hand on my hear t, I have never seen anybody leave
a banger race having not enjoyed themselves. The
only time you ever see someone looking sad is
when their favourite driver ends up nose f irst in the
fence and that soon fades.
So let me ask a question to the lady in
tweed: Do you really still think it’s a
dirty sport?
Of ten, at the end of the day, comes the demolition
derby, or DD. This isn’t just a f irm favourite with
children but adults suddenly rever t to a childlike
state for this event. Once it’s over you hear:
“Harr y? Where’s Harr y gone?” as the mothers and
fathers come back to their parental state of mind.
In the DD, cars battle to become last man standing.
This involves some of the hardest crashes of the day,
including massive head-on collisions. By the end, the
last car moving is, to say the least, a bit sluggish.
The atmosphere of ever yone cheering for different
cars is as competitive in the spectator areas as it
is on the track.
35
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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WRITTEN BY
Janelle Tumlos
ELISE FLICKS THROUGH A CLOTHING
RACK CONTAINING COLOURFUL
SWIMWEAR.
“This is what I hate about summer,” she says as
she takes an orange bikini off the rack. “There
are so many choices, it’s hard to pick a favourite.”
Elise is a sales assistant at a popular high street clothing
chain, and she has agreed to tell me all about this year’s
summer trends.
1. A BIKER JACKET IN PASTEL COLOURS
Forget about ever y thing you used to know about biker’s jackets.
They’re no longer dull and dark, because this summer, they’re bright.
That’s right, girls, this season they’re available in pastel pink, even
in bold white and turquoise. If you want to go high-fashion and if
you have a budget big enough, shop at Acne. Their silver jacket is
beautiful, but it comes with the eye-watering price of £1,400. Yikes.
Of course, there is a high street option for you. Get Topshop’s dusky
pink jacket for £185. Ooh. Maybe you should wait for it to go on sale.
Moving swif tly on.
2. THE SHIFT BLOUSE
AUTHOR
Janelle Tumlos
BIO
Janelle hopes to work in the fashion
industry. She has a beauty blog which she
updates in her free time. She also loves
to coordinate outfits and spend time
with her pet rabbit.
FIND OUT MORE
icarus-complex.tumblr.com
36
No, it’s not a maternity top. It’s basically a blouse, but with a straight
shape, hiding your cur ves. The shif t blouse was popular with the
ultra fashionable crowd this year, appearing on various runways.
Calvin Klein, Mulberr y, and Dolce & Gabbana featured this blouse on
their catwalks. You can purchase a shif t blouse at Whistles for £75.
3. LACE
Of course lace is on this list. It’s a fashion favourite. You can stay
with the classic colours like white, pink, and cream or go for
pastel yellows or oranges. ASOS has a lovely skir t for £38.
4. FLOWER PRINTS
Flower prints are a summer staple. What’s not
to love about them? They’re feminine, perfect
for garden parties. ASOS has a dainty pink dress
on sale for £22.50.
5. MIDI SKIRTS
First lace, and then flower prints – now midi
skirts! Feminine elegance is on point this season.
Grab a midi skirt. These skirts are A-line and
long, ending just below the knee. It also cinches
in your waist, giving it a fabulous definition.
Dorothy Perkins has a nice selection.
6. STRAPPY FLATFORMS
You read that right. Unlike platform shoes,
flatforms are like the name suggests. They’re flat
and oh so much better for your feet! Pair brown
flatforms with a maxi dress for a summer date
night. Pair black flatforms with skinny jeans and
an oversized denim jacket and transform yourself
into grungy chic. New Look has a fab stock
starting from £17.99.
7. JEWELLED TOPS
Tops with crystals sewn in. The best thing about
it is that you don’t have to bother accessorising,
because jewelled tops double as an accessory!
Miss Selfridge has a cute jewelled jumper for £25.
8. PASTEL SHOULDER BAGS
We should get a bag while we’re at it. Pastel
shoulder bags are in, and Zara has a sweet
blue bag for £39.99.
9. FLOWERY JEWELLERY
Dainty flowery jewellery is the cutest must-have.
Pick gold chains with flower pendants. If you
want a statement piece, choose a rose-gold
chain with a cluster of flowers. Dorothy Perkins
has a perfect cluster necklace at £12.50.
10. BIKINI
The bikini is #1. It’s a summer staple, and every
woman has to have one in her wardrobe.Elise
told me a way to make sure that you get a
bikini body in time for your hols.
How to get the perfect bikini body
Step 1. Put a bikini on.
Step 2. You’re done!
Remember that you have to be
comfortable with what you’re wearing.
The best accessory to have is a smile.
Have a fab holiday!
37
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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VC TELLS ALL
WRITTEN BY
Sarah Violleau
USING HER LEGENDARY FRENCH CHARM,
VISITING STUDENT SARAH VIOLLEAU
PERSUADES CCCU’S VICE CHANCELLOR
TO SHARE HIS THOUGHTS WITH HER.
I was ver y anxious, my hands were clammy and worst of all
I was completely unable to pronounce his name. The second
we shook hands, I relaxed. “I’m ver y pleased to meet you,”
said Rama Thirunamachandran. “I love meeting students.”
“My route is unusual,” he explained. Af ter being the Director
for Research at the Higher Education Funding Council for England,
he joined Christ Church in October 2013. He has moved into
management ver y quickly, which was, he said, “stressful”.
AUTHOR
Sarah Violleau
BIO
Born in La Roche-sur-Yon, one of France’s
little-known treasures, Sarah has been
studying at CCCU since January. When
she isn’t reading teenage books, she is
drinking black coffee without sugar.
Very sensitive, she loves writing poetry
when in bed. Alone. She doesn’t know
where she is going in life, but she’s sure
about something: she wants to travel, to
learn Italian and to carry on swimming.
FIND OUT MORE
comein@france.fr
38
Talking about the philosophy of Christ Church,
he quoted JFK: “A back off ice worker told me his
mission was to put a man on the moon. That’s a
way to show we’re all different, but our objective
is the same. We f ight to equip every person with
the right skills.”
The VC’s main responsibilities are long-term strategies for the
university and the students. He has to consider ever y single
detail which can affect students in Canterbur y, in England,
in Europe – basically all over the world.
I was ver y impressed by his humility and his honesty. He carefully
considered all my questions and always replied straight away.
I asked him about his home life.
“When I’m back home, I’m always thinking
about things I’ve got to deal with the next day.
But some events are heartwarming, like the
graduation ceremony.”
He always feels ver y proud of his students when
seeing them building their futures of their own.
My final and formal question was about the
human values he advocates.
As an Erasmus student, I asked him what he thought “I think a mutual respect regardless of who you are
I was bringing to CCCU (I was not f ishing for a
and what you do is essential. We’re all human beings.”
compliment – well, maybe a little) and what CCCU
Professor Thirunamachandran also highlighted the
was offering me.
impor tance of honesty, integrity and transparency.
His job, he said, enables him to inf luence others
and to spread all these human values.
“Being a global citizen rather than
being a national citizen, sharing a
new way of thinking and new ideas
is very important to link everybody in
those times of war and bad feelings,”
the VC explained.
When discussing his international travels, he told
me, “I’ve been to Paris, but someone stole my wallet
in the subway.” Being French, I was a bit
embarrassed. But then he claimed that he really
likes France and he would be ver y pleased to visit
my university in France (Catholic Institute of Higher
Studies, La Roche-sur-Yon), and would like to know
more about the French education system.
Although I was nervous about meeting
him, I know I’ll always be very grateful
to Professor Thirunamachandran for
meeting me. Nevertheless, by the end
of the interview I’m ashamed to say
my pronunciation of Thiranumachandran
was still wrong.
“I love French coffee,” he said. We talked for a while
about the French President’s private (or rather
public) life, and the French notion that the private
life of a public f igure should be kept secret.
I asked him how he maintains a work-life balance.
“It’s ver y hard because my wife and my son are in
London. I don’t see them a lot.” I could see from
his expression that he cared a lot about it – it
was tough tr ying to combine his work life and
his family life.
39
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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THE FIGHT TO G
WRITTEN BY
Richard Whale
AS I STOOD AT THE PERSPEX WINDOW
OF A PETROL STATION SOMEWHERE
BETWEEN LUXEMBOURG AND FRANKFURT
AT THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING,
I COULDN’T HELP WONDERING WHY
MY FRIEND SAM SPENT HIS TIME TOURING
AROUND EUROPE IN A TINY VAN FULL OF
HAGGARD, UNWASHED BAND-MATES.
While loading a mountain of equipment into
the venue, it was hard to imagine the thousands
of bands doing this for a living. The chances
of anyone becoming a celebrity by touring
must be mighty slim.
“We all work nine to f ive back at
home to fund all this,” says Sam.
AUTHOR
Richard Whale
BIO
A stereotypical musician, Richard can
be too laid back for his own good. After
pouring his creativity into song-writing
for most of his life, 2013 was the time to
take the academic leap into Creative and
Professional Writing to refine his skill.
As a devoted fan of poetry, film and the
outdoors, Richards has a wild imagination
that can sometimes get the better of him.
FIND OUT MORE
www.facebook.com/valourmc
40
I could understand the appeal if they had a luxur y coach f itted
with beds, showers, and a fridge… but they didn’t. So what
possessed him to pursue this lifestyle?
“It’s tough; I’m not going to lie,” Sam explains. “We spend long sleepless
nights driving through places that nobody has even heard of. It brings us
closer and builds bonds that will last a lifetime; on top of that I get
to play my music to people all over the world, and nothing could
make me happier.”
The nex t morning our van pulled to a stop and I peered out of
the window. Any aches or pains instantly f looded from my body,
Frankfur t looked glorious and I wanted to explore. However,
I was reminded that this wasn’t a free holiday. The band had
a job to do and I was there to help.
I was in shock; this was a lifetime away from
the “sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll” stereotype that
follows bands around like an unwanted smell.
The contemporar y music industr y now demands
hard-working businessmen, not rebels. And in
a time where there is so much to choose from,
any thing less than complete dedication won’t
get you any where.
Bands in the 70s and 80s could easily make
a name for themselves by touring. There were
fewer musicians, the public went out of their
way to attend live events, and ever y high street
had a record shop.
Today’s technology enables musicians to write,
record, and upload entire albums from their own
home without having to pay a penny. This f loods
the market, and record labels thinking of investing
in you need proof that it’s going to be wor thwhile.
“Long before any money is invested” stated renowned
music producer Oliver Craggs, “bands need to
prove themselves by building up a following. Make
your band a marketable product, have merchandise
and albums to promote, and show the will to work
hard, and be serious about a career in music.”
We got back into the van after the
show and everyone in the band
was on a high. As we drove off,
Sam turned to me with a f ixated smile.
“As much as it would be easier,” he said modestly.
“It’s not about wanting to be a celebrity or rich. The
half-hour I get on that stage is priceless, and I’ d work
any job for the rest of my life to be able to travel and
share these unforgettable moments with my friends.”
The van was cramped and the band did
smell, but to my surprise he was right.
I will never forget the time I’ve spent
on the road and I wouldn’t trade this
van for the world.
41
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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WRITTEN BY
Rory Wills
IN A WORLD OF NEON SIGNS AND
CONCRETE STREETS, THE CITY OF VISBY
IN SWEDEN REMAINS FIRMLY FIXED IN
THE MIDDLE AGES.
Two warriors in full mail armour clash swords in the middle of
a street, ringed by a crowd of revellers cheering for their favourite.
The warriors are equally matched in streng th and courage, and
tension soars as either could emerge the victor. They move around
the arena, jabbing and slicing, testing each other’s streng ths and
weaknesses. Then one discovers a weak spot on his opponent.
He strikes just below the chest, and to the roar of his suppor ters,
he wins the battle.
It may seem like the stuff of theatre, or even Holly wood, but for one
week in August, this is regular behaviour in the city of Visby on the
island of Gotland in Sweden. Locals don medieval clothing and get
fully into character for one of Visby’s most impor tant festivals – and
a Swedish favourite – called Medeltidsveckan, or ‘Medieval Week’,
to celebrate the city’s rich and inspiring histor y.
AUTHOR
Rory Wills
BIO
Rory lives in Dover, Kent. He is an aspiring
fiction writer with a passion for the fantasy
genre, and has begun to plot his first novel.
When able to escape the confines of his
manuscripts for stories and poems, he
enjoys destroying his eardrums with
heavy metal.
FIND OUT MORE
rory.wills@virgin.net
42
Throughout Medieval Week, the city is packed with
revellers in authentic gear wielding everything from
swords and spears to pitchforks and cooking ladles.
Role-playing is encouraged, and though some of the people take
authenticity more seriously than others, they are all united by
a shared love of histor y, as well as a strong desire to dress up
and have fun.
Visitors are treated to such events as music, jousting tournaments
and even a medieval market, as well as countless other activities
to take them back to a time before the neon and concrete of
the modern age. It does not matter whether you are an exper t
on medieval – par ticularly Viking – histor y or simply passionate
about the subject. However seriously you take histor y, you will
feel right at home.
Popularly called the ‘city of roses and ruin’, Visby is
a place stepped in history. The origins of the city
are a matter of debate, though Visby existed as early
as the Stone Age, and was probably built for the
site’s close proximity to fresh water. During its time
under the German Hanseatic League until 1470,
the city prospered.
The city is home to such attractions as Visby
Cathedral, Almedalen Park and a near endless
stream of church ruins. With their rich legacies,
these monuments should be more than enough to
satisfy even the most ardent histor y enthusiast –
and with a little imagination it is easy to believe
that Visby has truly been frozen in time.
The Battle of Visby took place in 1361. Danish
and German forces, led by King Valdemar IV of
Denmark, landed on the western coast of Gotland,
and from there they marched on Visby. The
defenders of the city consisted mostly of freemen
and minor nobles, and were protected by Visby
Ringmur, the imposing stone wall that surrounds
the city. Casualties were high on both sides, but
Visby was f inally lost. It is said that the people of
the city freely gave large por tions of their wealth
to King Valdemar to keep the Germans and Danes
from sacking Visby, but the invaders did so any way,
burning churches and monasteries.
Gotland became a Danish territory,
and remained so until 1364 when
the newly crowned King Albert of
Sweden proclaimed the island to
be a part of his country.
43
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
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GRIST LIFE AFTER YOU TUBE
WRITTEN BY
Victoria Withers
“I WALKED INTO THE CLUB WEARING
A SUIT. ON THE DANCE FLOOR, N-DUBZ
WAS PLAYING AND THE PLACE WAS
CROWDED. THE MANAGER STOPPED
THE TUNE MID-FLOW, ANNOUNCED
THAT ‘AN ENGLISH TEACHER IS NOW
GOING TO RAP FOR YOU’AND LEFT
THE STAGE. A SEA OF ANGRY EYES
CONVERGED ON ME…”
Mark Grist shakes his head at the memor y.
It had star ted as a bet at the school where he taught English.
Three students were about to be expelled and he agreed that,
if they behaved for the term, he would enter a rap tournament.
AUTHOR
Victoria Withers
BIO
Victoria was born in Gorton, Manchester
and raised to love the written word.
While most parents stop reading to their
children at a young age, the only thing that
changed in her household was the length
of the books and the time of the bedtime.
Every Friday evening was for creative
writing, a tradition she tries to keep to
this day. A lover of sci-fi, poetry and rock
ballads,Victoria draws from an eclectic
mix in her writing.
FIND OUT MORE
xxxx
44
“I didn’t expect them to manage it, but it was just
too good a chance to miss.”
So there he was, aka The Count of Monty Gristo, rapping in a bar in
Peterborough where, if he choked, they would literally throw bottles.
His opponent was called Omen, and he had arranged to per form
a week in advance of the battle so that the crowd would get
to know him.
“Luckily it all went well. By the end they were
chanting, ‘Suit Guy! Suit Guy!’”
Mark Grist reads out the rap, entitled I’m Really, Really, Really
Good at Board Games. I’m not surprised it went well. He’s a natural
per former and his f low is impeccable. He has an obvious and open
love of what he does.
Incidentally, he beat Omen.
“Omen was over-conf ident and free-styling.
He lost his f low and it went badly. He f inished
with a line about how I’d gone to university.
I came back with:
‘University? Is that all you’ve got?
I’ll take your mother to the opera
and destroy her private box.’”
He laughs. “You heard an ‘Oooh’ from the crowd.
I wanted to hear that reaction again. I’m proud of
that line, it won me the battle, but it led to some
diff icult moments at parents’ evening. A mother
asked me if I planned on taking her to the opera.”
Mark Grist became an internet sensation when
he per formed at Don’t Flop Against Blizzard.
It was just meant to be a bit of fun.
Within a week the You Tube clip had over a million
viewers and national newspapers were writing
ar ticles about him.
“It was all hard to take in, just crazy.
I went from struggling to make ends
meet to being phoned out of the blue.
One guy wanted to f ly me over to
America where I could do rap battles
and take on Eminem. Just crazy.”
Mark Grist gives an inspiring per formance that
proves that poetr y is alive and well. Though he
no longer works at a school, he still has a lot
to teach.
Mark Grist: Rogue Teacher is touring now.
Find venues at www.markgrist.com.
“The other MCs are sound people.
When we’re battling it’s no holds
barred, but it’s a verbal sparring match,
nothing personal.”
The nex t day, it was viral.
“I was horrif ied – the entire second round was about
his mum. I was new to the scene and had been
coached by my f ifteen year old students. To them,
Your Mama jokes are high comedy. I wrote her a letter
of apology, which she answered by telling me not
to be stupid, and asked if she could see me live.”
45
tinker
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golf
fool
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lachrymose
butt
aye
recrudescent
catalyst
clutch
pyromaniac
serendipity
To find out more about the course,
please contact www.canterbury.ac.uk
zenith
yellow
daffodil
The pieces in this magazine were
written by first year students on
the Summer School of the BA in
Creative and Professional Writing at
Canterbury Christ Church University.
procrastination
ECLECTIA_ an exercise in journalism
lap
wander
yellow
triangle
Disclaimer
46
This magazine was written by undergraduates for education purposes only, as part of a BA in Creative and Professional
Writing. The information contained therein is for general information purposes only. Nothing herein has, intentionally or
unintentionally, any commercial purpose or function. While the authors have sought to ensure that the information is up
to date and correct, they make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness,
accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the website or the information, products, services, or related
graphics contained on the website for any purpose. Every effort has been made to obtain such permissions as are required
for the reproduction of copyright images, etc., and the authors apologise if they have inadvertently omitted to obtain any such
permission. All views and opinions herein are strictly those of the writers, not of Canterbury Christ Church University or any
other of its members.
47
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