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First Things – Genesis
Genesis 33
“Making Up Is Hard To Do”
I. THERE IS A BURDEN IN SEEKING RECONCILIATION
A. The confronting of your sin
B. The correcting of your sin
II. THERE IS A BLESSING IN SUPPLYING RECONCILIATION
A. You can relieve the fears of your offender
B. You can reflect the Father to your offender
III. THERE IS A BENEFIT IN SHARING RECONCILIATION
A. You can move on separately
B. You can move on spiritually
1. On Thursday, April 19th, Levon Helm died at the age of 71 after a long battle with
throat cancer. Helm was the drummer for the rock and roll group known simply as
“The Band”.
2. For the last 35 years, Helm, and the lead singer for The Band, Robbie Robertson,
had been enemies. Their feud started back in 1976, about the time of the group’s
last concert.
3. Not long before Helm passed away, however, Robertson went to see his old band
mate. He told a newspaper about the visit, saying, "I spoke with his family and made
arrangements to go and see him. On Sunday I went to New York and visited him in
the hospital. I sat with Levon for a good while, and thought of the incredible and
beautiful times we had together …”i
4. Just a few days later, Helm was dead. Though he and Robertson were apparently
reconciled, it took 35 years and terminal throat cancer to bring them back together.
5. Contrary to the old song, breaking up can be pretty easy; it’s the making up that is
hard to do.
6. Genesis chapter 33 records for us the emotional reconciliation between Jacob and
his brother Esau.
7. The last time they had seen each other, Jacob had cheated Esau out of his father’s
blessing, and Esau had sworn to kill him for it.
8. Though many years had passed since then, before Jacob could return to Canaan
he would have to meet his brother face to face again.
9. The Holy Spirit records that meeting for us and in it we find a wonderful picture of
how foes can become family again, and how those who have been ripped apart can
be reconciled by God’s grace.
10. Looking at this text, we see here firstly that:
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I. THERE IS A BURDEN IN SEEKING RECONCILIATION
1. Back in chapter 32, word had come to Jacob that Esau was coming to meet him,
and that he was bringing a small army with him.
2. Upon that news Jacob hit his knees and prayed for God to deliver him from his
brother and the revenge that Jacob feared Esau was coming to exact.
3. While God would ultimately deliver Jacob from having to fight with Esau, He would
not deliver him from having to face Esau.
4. Chapter 33 begins by saying, “And Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and,
behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men…”
5. The meeting was inevitable, and so Jacob went out to face his offended brother,
bearing the burden of trying to reconcile with him.
6. Though Jacob is not perfect in this chapter, he does teach us some things that
what we should do when it is our responsibility to try to make right the wrong we have
done to someone else.
7. For instance, from Jacob we can learn about:
A. The confronting of your sin
1. Once Jacob realized that he was going to have to face Esau, in a classic “Jacob”
move, he strategically lined up his family, with his beloved Rachel and Joseph in the
back of the line.
2. Even when trying to do the right thing, Jacob was still prone to scheming. Though
God had renamed him Israel, there was still a lot of Jacob left.
3. Nevertheless, verse 3 says, “And he passed over before them, and bowed himself
to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.”
4. Whatever Esau had in mind to do, Jacob wanted to make it clear that he was in no
mood for a fight. He approached his brother with obvious humility and respect.
5. Jacob was submissive, contrite, and clearly broken in the presence of the brother
he had wronged.
6. Unfortunately, too many people will never confront their sins toward others simply
because they are just too stinking proud.
7. Though in their hearts they know they have offended someone, they cannot bring
themselves to go to that person with their head down in humility and seek
forgiveness.
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8. Some people have the mentality of the fellow who said, “I’m never wrong. I once
thought I was, but it turns out that I was mistaken.”
9. Some people will never be reconciled with those they have hurt because they are
just too proud to confront their sin and admit humbly when they are wrong.
10. In this text, Jacob’s humble approach to Esau teaches us something about the
confronting of your sin, and as we look further in this story, he also teaches us
something about:
B. The correcting of your sin
1. You will recall that back in chapter 32 Jacob had sent a large portion of his
livestock ahead to Esau in droves.
2. In chapter 33, Esau asked Jacob about those droves of animals. In verse 8 we
read, “And [Esau] said, What meanest thou by all this drove which I met? And [Jacob]
said, These are to find grace in the sight of my lord.”
3. Initially, Esau refused the gift, but in verse 10 Jacob said, “Nay, I pray thee, if now I
have found grace in thy sight, then receive my present at my hand…”
4. He added in verse 11, “Take, I pray thee, my blessing that is brought to thee;
because God hath dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough…”
5. Many years before, Jacob had robbed Esau of a blessing. Now, Jacob was
determined to be a blessing to the brother he had defrauded.
6. R. Kent Hughes says of this, “This was no cheap forgiveness. It cost Jacob – and
he joyfully paid the price, so to speak.”ii
7. There is something to be said for the importance of restitution in the work of
reconciliation. If it is possible to do so, we ought to seek to make right what we have
done wrong.
8. In the New Testament, when Zacchaeus met Jesus, he vowed to restore four times
over anything he taken wrongfully as a tax collector.
9. The point is that when we bear the burden of seeking reconciliation, it may require
a restoring activity; not just a sincere apology.
10. Some of you may need to give something back to someone. You may have to go
and clear someone’s name you have slandered. You may have to rebuild a bridge you
once burned.
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11. Whatever it takes, however, if you are seeking reconciliation, there is a burden
you must humbly, graciously, and gladly bear to make things right.
12. Looking at this text, we see here not only that there is a burden in seeking
reconciliation, but notice also secondly that:
II. THERE IS A BLESSING IN SUPPLYING RECONCILIATION
1. For the most part, Esau has appeared as a sad, bitter, and tragic figure in the
storyline of Genesis.
2. In chapter 33, however, Esau glows with grace and mercy. His reception of Jacob is
a beautiful picture that we find mirrored in Jesus’ story of the prodigal son.
3. Look at verse 4. It says, “And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell
on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.”
4. Though Esau is not often a role model, in this text he demonstrates for us the
blessing of smoothing, softening, and supplying the work of reconciliation.
5. Esau’s merciful meeting with Jacob teaches us firstly that:
A. You can relieve the fears of your offender
1. Probably as Jacob was looking up from one of his many bows, he noticed that Esau
had starting running towards him.
2. Jacob probably thought, “Oh no! Here it is! He is going to fall on me and kill me! I
was afraid this would happen.”
3. And yet, before Jacob could say anything, Esau fell on him, not with fists of
revenge, but with tears, kisses, and a hug.
4. Many people, even if they were not intent on revenge, would have stood there and
let Jacob grovel a while longer; maybe demanding a long and pitiful apology.
5. Not Esau though. Rather than punishing Jacob, he pardoned him without a word at
all about the past.
6. All of Jacob’s anxiety and fear washed away as he felt the hot tears of his brother
dripping on his neck.
7. Would to God more of us would forgive this quickly and mercifully! What a gift it is
to someone to find us not only willing to forgive them, but welcoming them as if they
had never even wronged us.
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8. With that being said, there is a blessing that comes from supplying reconciliation,
not only when you can relieve the fears of your offender, but more importantly when:
B. You can reflect the Father to your offender
1. I want you to notice what Jacob says to Esau after their emotional reunion. Look
again at verse 10. Jacob said to Esau, “…if now I have found grace in thy sight, then
receive my present at my hand: for therefore I have seen thy face, as though I had
seen the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me.”
2. Jacob, who in the previous chapter had actually seen God face to face, is reminded
of that gracious God in this meeting with Esau.
3. What a testimony! If this was said of man like Esau, how much more should people
be able to say this of us who truly know the Heavenly Father!
4. When we had sinned against Him He came to meet us with open arms of
forgiveness! We have been treated this way by our Father, and now it is our privilege
to treat others this way in His name!
5. In Ephesians 4:32, the Apostle Paul put it this way, “And be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven
you.”
6. Someone once said, “We are most like beasts when we kill. We are most like men
when we judge. But we are most like God when we forgive.”
7. When someone has damaged you, deceived you, wronged you, and wounded you,
your flesh may cry out for revenge, but your Father in heaven calls you to
reconciliation.
8. He who has so freely forgiven you of all your sins now gives you the privilege of
displaying that same kind of mercy to those who have sinned against you. That, if we
fully embrace it, is a blessing!
9. Looking further at this text, we see here not only that there is a burden in seeking
reconciliation, and there is a blessing in supplying reconciliation, but consider with
me also thirdly that:
III. THERE IS A BENEFIT IN SHARING RECONCILIATION
1. At the close of Genesis chapter 33 we find Esau heading back to his homeland in
Seir, and Jacob moving on eventually into the promised land of Canaan.
2. And in that image of these two brothers going on with their lives, I think we find the
greatest benefit of sharing reconciliation; and that is simply moving on.
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3. There are people whose lives are essentially on hold because of some conflict or
feud they have had with someone else.
4. The hurt of the past is holding them back, dogging them like open wound. Perhaps
the guilt of something they have done haunts them and reminds them of unfinished
business.
5. Yet, when two people can share in reconciliation, and forgiveness can be sought
and shown, there is the possibility of progress in the lives of those people.
6. Let me show you this in the text. For one thing, this story reminds us that when
reconciliation is shared:
A. You can move on separately
1. After the emotional reunion, Jacob and Esau caught up a bit. Esau was introduced
to Jacob’s family, whom Jacob described as a gracious gift from God.
2. Then Esau made an interesting offer. He said in verse 12, “Let us take our journey,
and let us go, and I will go before thee.”
3. Esau invited Jacob to come with him back to Seir. It was further evidence that he
had truly forgiven his heel-grabbing brother.
4. Yet, Jacob was not meant to go with Esau. God had called Jacob back to Canaan,
not Seir.
5. So, very diplomatically, and some have said, deceptively, Jacob suggested that
Esau go on without him, saying, “Let my lord, I pray thee, pass over before his
servant: and I will lead on softly, according as the cattle that goeth before me and
the children be able to endure, until I come unto my lord unto Seir.” (v. 14)
6. The text says that Esau left that day on his way back to Seir, and soon after Jacob
made his way to a place called Succoth.
7. What I want you to see is that though these brothers, as they always had, were
headed in different directions, they both went their separate ways helped by the work
of reconciliation
8. Esau went his way having let go of the years of bitterness and anger. Jacob went
his way having settled finally the sin of his youth.
9. Whether you are the one who needs to forgive, or the one who needs to be
forgiven, when true reconciliation occurs, both parties can move on with their
separate lives leaving the past behind where it belongs.
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10. I remember seeing a program in which the mother of a murder victim went to the
prison to visit the man who had murdered her child.
11. When their visit was over, both the mother and the murderer had tears in their
eyes. One had given forgiveness, and the other had gotten it. Both were helped.
12. The benefit of shared reconciliation is not only that you can move on separately,
but furthermore, we see in this text that:
B. You can move on spiritually
1. While we know little of what happened in Esau’s life after this event, the Scripture
tells us that Jacob, after some time in Succoth, made his way down into, “…a city of
Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan…”
2. After some twenty years in Padanaram, and a lot of hard-learned lessons, Jacob
finally made it back into the land of his fathers, Abraham and Isaac.
3. The chapter closes with verse 20, which says, “And he erected there an altar, and
called it Elelohe-Israel.”
4. As his fathers before him had, Jacob built an altar in the land of Canaan. There he
sacrificed and prayed to the God who had been so gracious to him.
5. He called the altar, “El-elohe-Israel”, which means, “God, the God of Israel”.
6. After his reconciliation with Esau, Jacob has reached the place where he can truly
say, “God is my God,” and I am Israel, the prince He has called me to be.
7. There are some of you who will never be able to fully embrace who God is and who
God has called you to be until you first take care of who you have been and those you
have hurt.
8. In Matthew 5:23 and 24, Jesus said, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar,
and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift
before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come
and offer thy gift.”
9. Jacob could rightly stand before the altar of his God, moving on spiritually, because
he had first made things right with his brother. That is the benefit of a shared
reconciliation!
1. In Genesis 33, Jacob met Esau face to face. But before that meeting, in chapter
32, Jacob met God face to face.
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2. We are reminded then that the greatest need for reconciliation we have is first and
foremost with our God.
3. Of all those we may have wronged in our lives, none have been so offended as the
holy God who gave us life. Every one of our sins are individual acts of rebellion
against Him and His glory.
5. Yet, the good news of the gospel is that the God whom we have offended with our
sins is the God who desires to be reconciled to us.
6. Before we ever went looking for Him, He came looking for us. And though we were
the ones who had done wrong, He is the One who has offered the gift of restitution
and payment.
7. Jesus came to us, while we were yet sinners. Though He had done no wrong, He
willingly died in the place of those who had wronged Him.
8. II Corinthians 5:19 says, “…God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself,
not imputing their trespasses unto them…” In the next verse, the Apostle Paul says,
“…we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.”
9. For those who have not been reconciled to God, the good news is that He has
done the work of reconciliation for you. He has run to you with open arms, and nailpierced hands, offering you forgiveness!
10. For those who have been reconciled to God, then whatever differences and
disagreements we may have with others ought to be reconciled quickly and willingly
in light of what He has done for us!
11. Making up may be hard to do, but if God can go as far as the cross to make up
with us, then surely we can go as far as we need to reconcile with one another.
Michaels, Sean, “Robbie Robertson seeks reconciliation at Levon Helm’s sickbed”, 4/19/12,
www.theguardian.co.uk, accessed 4/20/12, http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2012/apr/19/robbie-robertsonlevon-helm?newsfeed=true
ii
Hughes, R. Kent, Genesis: Beginning and Blessing, (Crossway Books, Wheaton, IL, 2004), p. 406
i
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