THE FAMILY
The family as a social system- considered the most
basic source of socialization- children learning the
beliefs, values and behaviors acceptable to society.
Many institutions contribute to this process, but the
most powerful source is the family. We learn these
attitudes and behaviors through modeling the parents,
siblings and other family members. But being a
system, any member can influence the whole.
Direct vs. Indirect Influences
1. Nuclear families- simplest form- mother,
father, and first child.
2. Reciprocal influence- even a baby can
influence the function of the whole system.
3. Direct effects- where any pair of family
members affects and is affected by the other’s
behavior. Why goodness of fit is so important
in positive development of infants. Mobile.
4. Indirect effects- more subtle influence of two
people by the attitudes, behaviors of the third.
5. Coparenting- best circumstance for childrenwhen parents mutually support each other and
function as a cooperating team. Not easy in
functional families, because we all bring
different expectations to the mix from our own
family background. Almost impossible in
chaotic, unhappy couples. The complexity of
relationships increases geometrically as you
add other siblings with their unique
temperaments and needs. There are also
changes as the family ages and the needs of
children change with age.
6. Extended family- when the simple family
begins living with or having other family
members living with them. This can aid
financially strapped single mothers, but can
also stress parents when their values and
child-rearing practices differ from
grandparents. Certain cultures emphasize this
more than others.
Families as Embedded Systems- families are
embedded in their culture, religion, education, SES,
community and are influenced by them.
The Changing Family as a response to a changing
culture- what norms have changed in US culture in
the past 50 years?
1. More single adults- but 90% of adults will
marry.
2. Postponement of marriage- average age of
first marriage is 24F, 26M.
3. Fewer children- 12% of married women are
childless, 1.8 children is the average per
family.
4. Working moms- 63% of moms with children
under age 6 are working. Even so, moms carry
the greatest responsibility for home.
5. Divorce- 1 million kids per year face their
parents’ divorce. 50% of couples will divorce.
6. Single parent families- 60% of all kids will
spend some time in a single parent home.
24% of kids live with a single parent – either
never married, or divorced. Father-headed
homes are 17% of single parent homes today.
7. Children in poverty- single parent homes
have contributed to more kids in poverty- 54%
of kids in mother-headed families live in
poverty (10% of children in two-parent
homes.)
8. Remarriage- blended families- remarriage of
parents with children- 25% of children will
live in a blended family. The typical family
(original father, housewife mother & 2 kids)
only makes up 12% of families.
Parental Socialization- most significant aspect of
successful parenting is caregiver warmth/ sensitivity.
Dimensions of Parenting
1. Acceptance/responsiveness- supportiveness,
affection, responsiveness to children’s needs.
2. Demandingness- control that parents need to
exhibit with children. High control parents express
clear rules, expect children to follow them and
impose consequences when they don’t. Low control
parents are less restrictive, make fewer demands,
allow children lots of freedom to make decisions.
Patterns of Parenting- Baumrind
1. Authoritarian parenting- hi control, low
acceptance, top-down parenting using
love withdrawal or power assertion to
force compliance. Set inflexible standards
and dominate the child.
2. Authoritative parenting-controlling but
affectionate and flexible, making
reasonable and responsive demands on
children. Democratic family system that
respects children’s needs and input. It is
such a successful model because they
show caring concern in their
responsiveness and affection, standards
that seem reasonable (realistic for the
child’s age and abilities) are more apt to
be adhered to by the child, values are
taught to be internalized by the children
and so they develop autonomy and a
sense of personal responsibility for
choices made. Parents also give
instructive feedback in order to help child
fine-tune his future behavior. Kids need
love and limits – roots and wings.
3. Permissive parenting- accepting but
little instruction, low expectations, few
rules, low supervision.
4. Uninvolved parenting- undemanding
style but parents have either rejected their
children or are too overwhelmed with
other problems they have no energy or
motivation to devote to children.
Effects on children of the 4 styles:
Authoritarian parenting-moodiness,
unhappiness, irritable, poor social skills, little
motivation.
Authoritative parenting-cheerful, socially alert
and responsible, self-reliant, achieving, cooperative.
Long-term they show cognitive competencies,
creativity, high achievement, and social skills,
sociable, leaders. Confident and generally not
involved with drugs and acting out problems.
Permissive parenting-impulsive, aggressive,
bossy, self-centered, lacking in self-control, low in
achievement and independence.
Uninvolved parenting-high in aggression,
temper tantrums. Long-term effects- poor classroom
performance, conduct disorders, hostile, selfish,
rebellious as adolescents. Lacking long-term goals,
often antisocial and delinquent, using substances,
sexual acting-out, truant, criminal offenses. They
didn’t learn caring by being cared for.
Parent effects model-assumes that influences in
families run one way, from parent to child.
Child effects model- assumes that children have a
major influence on parents.
Authoritarian parents emphasize the don’ts. (And
use heavy-handed, power assertive techniques) They
produce children who are less compliant and less
internal in their control.
Authoritative parents emphasize the dos. They
focus on children’s good behavior and deal with
noncompliance with patience and consistency. They
produce children who are most self-controlled and
compliant and socially competent.
Transactional model-both parents and children
influence each other. Difficult children can wear out
patient parents; troubled parents can stress easy
children. Also other influences affect children’s
outcomes, so parenting is not the sole cause.
Social class differences in parenting-in general
lower SES parents (compared to middle-class SES)
stress obedience and respect for authority, are more
restrictive/ authoritarian, reason with children less,
and show less affection. They are more critical,
punitive and intolerant of disobedience. It may be due
to stress associated with economic problems. This
ripples through the marital relationship, causing
depression, and sense of incompetence in general.
Then teens display emotional problems, such as
failure in school, low self-esteem poor peer relations,
depression and hostility. This causes parents to back
off of showing affection, and the cycle intensifies.
Ethnic differences in parenting- cultural
expectations for people also influences parenting
style. Communal societies (Hispanic, Asian, Native
American) stress contact with extended family and
respect for others, more so than independence,
competitiveness and individual goals. Asians may be
more authoritarian, but their children are high
achieving and they respect the right of parents to
extend such control.
No-nonsense parenting in African-American
families- African American families, especially
mothers, expect obedience and often use coercive
discipline. This seems to work, especially for single
mothers, who are trying to protect at-risk children.
Homelessness, chaos and Child developmentPoverty itself puts children at high risk for poor
academic achievement, anxiety and depression, low
self-esteem and antisocial behaviors.
Family instability (changes in residence,
multiple partners for a parent, many alternative living
situations, negative life events) It results in children
showing more acting out (externalizing behaviors)
and anxiety, shyness (internalizing problems)
especially for easy-going children.
Homelessness is seen in 750,000 children who
live in shelters at some point, as well as on the
streets. They have more internalizing problems such
as somatization (as a result of internalizing the shame
of their circumstances).
Adolescence- Renegotiating the Parent-child
relationship to develop autonomy in the childsomewhat more problematic for authoritarian
families. Most successful when parents gradually
relinquish control, while enforcing reasonable rules.
Influence of Siblings
1. Sibling rivalry- competition, jealousy
between siblings. The first child naturally
resents the loss of attention of mom when a
new baby comes home. It’s easier if the first
child had a secure attachment and is assured
of parents’ continued love and attention. Also
if the older child is involved in care of baby,
there is a sense of having a special role.
2. Course of the sibling relationship- conflict is
normal and declines with age. Older children
generally take the dominant role, with later
sibs taking more compliant roles. Older ones
also learn more prosocial behaviors as they are
expected to share and give in to the baby. It
may contribute to resilience in face of loss
later. Conflict is reduced if parents monitor
children’s play and refrain from comparisons.
Ignoring sibling problems leads to aggression
and antisocial behavior later. Adolescence
reduces conflict as they are home less often. It
may take into adulthood before the sibs truly
feel an appreciation for each other.
3. Positive effects of siblings
Emotional support, especially in an
abusive or chaotic family.
Caretaking for younger sibs.
Teaching skills to sibs, formally or through
modeling, especially social competencies
(negotiation and compromise, mature moral
reasoning)
Only children-show high self-esteem, achievement
motivation, are more obedient, more intellectually
competent than kids with sibs, have good
relationships with peers.
Diversity of families
1. Adoptive families-children have more
learning disabilities, emotional problems,
conduct disorders, delinquency than
nonadopted peers. Even so they do better than
children left in the foster system. Open
adoptions seem to help kids as they can have
information about biological family and can
satisfy their curiosity about why they were
given up.
2. Gay and Lesbian families- most have
children due to earlier marriage, though some
are due to artificial insemination. No evidence
that these children have higher rates of
homosexual orientation themselves. They
show equal adjustment and motivation as
children in heterosexual families.
3. Impacts of family conflict and divorce-not
only the change in spouses affect children, but
the attendant loss economically, changes in
residence, having new roles, loss of some of
custodial parent’s attention and energy, and
later, another parent figure.
a. Marital conflict effects-children are
seriously affected by the growing conflict
and even violence they witness. Many
parents use children as an excuse for
conflict, leaving children feeling guilty
and responsible for the divorce.
b. Effects of divorce- crisis and
reorganization- there may be a crisis
period of a year or more before and during
the divorce when the custodial parent is so
stressed s/he can’t respond effectively to
children. For the custodial mother, income
drops sharply (50-75% less) and she has
many adjustments in meeting everyone’s
needs. If this means moves and new
schools, everyone is stressed to the limit.
(Custodial mothers often react with
greater coerciveness, noncustodial fathers
often react with greater permissiveness)
Kids often use these changes to
manipulate both parents, still not getting
their emotional needs met. Other factors:
i. Children’s age- younger children
show their distress more openly- with
school problems, regression, anxiety,
but adolescents feel the same sense of
responsibility due to adolescent
egocentrism- they often act out.
ii. Children’s temperament/ sex- more
difficult children have a harder
adjustment since they often trigger
more reactivity from the stressed
parent. Impact of divorce seems to be
more intense for boys- girls seem to
be back to normal after 2 years postdivorce (although they show more
signs of covert stress- depression),
boys often still show overt signs of
stress and problems with others. Boys
seem to do better if they live with
fathers. Girls often show long-term
problems in their relationships with
boys/men with promiscuity, poor
self-worth in relationships.
c. Long-term reactions to divorceacademic difficulties, psychological
distress throughout adolescence, into
adulthood, particularly in forming
relationships with the opposite sex. They
also have higher risks of divorce in their
own lives. Even so, they do better than
children in conflict-ridden 2-parent
homes. Divorce and creation of a stable,
predictable home may benefit children in
chaotic families. Stress declines for every
one.
d. Factors that ease adjustment to divorce
i. adequate financial support so
children’s life style doesn’t change
drastically. Only ½ of fathers pay
child support.
ii. Adequate parenting by custodial
parent- outside support may help.
iii. Social/emotional support from the
noncustodial parent- not using the
children to continue the battle of wills
and control. Joint custody is one way
of assuring that both parents stay
involved in child’s care. Not easy to
negotiate between parents who
already can’t work out issues.
iv. Additional social support- Parents
Anonymous can help single parents
cope, as well as other relatives,
friends. Kids’ peers and their families
can be a stable influence, too.
v. Minimizing additional stress- keep
life simple and minimize changesoften worked out through divorce
mediation over custody and property.
4. Remarriage/ Blended families – 75% of
custodial parents will remarry or cohabit
within 3-5 years. The more marital transitions
that children have experienced, the poorer
their academic performance. Second
marriages have a poorer stability rate than first
marriages.
a. Mother-stepfather families-boys tend to
benefit from gaining a stepfather,
especially if they are affectionate. Girls
seem to resent stepfathers as a threat to
their relationship with their mother.
b. Father-stepmother families-stepmothers
have a harder time gaining acceptance of
children and are often forced into a role of
disciplinarian because they are home
more.
c. Family composition and Age- children
who are early adolescents when the
divorce happens have the poorest
adjustment, even 2 years after divorce.
They show poorer achievement, sexual
misconduct, delinquency at a higher rate.
Even so, most turn out as normal teens.
i. Complex stepparent homesproblems of all kinds are more
common (The Brady Bunch it’s not)
ii. Ownness effect-treating one’s
biological child with more affection,
support and involvement than the
stepchild. Kids pick up on the
favoritism and reject the stepparent.
iii. Simple stepparent homes-when only
one parent brings children it’s easier
to carve out coparenting duties.
5. Maternal employment- especially enhances
daughters’ development, self-esteem, and
leads them to higher educational and career
hopes. There is less stereotyping in homes
where mom works.
a. Father involvement-as fathers play a
bigger role in children’s lives, it benefits
children’s security. If dad is emotionally
invested in child rearing, kids are more
academically competent, socially skilled,
and display fewer behavior problems. If
mom doesn’t have that sort of support, her
stress level can compromise her parenting.
b. Day care-high-quality day care links to
social and emotional strengths.
Unfortunately day care in US is spotty in
its quality and is very expensive,
especially for working class people who
need it most.
c. Self-care/latchkey children-2-4 million
kids from 6 to 13 stay home after school
by themselves. Risks are greatest for kids
in lower income neighborhoods that may
be unsafe and have many unsupervised
kids and gangs available as models. If
parents are authoritative and set rules and
monitor after-school chores and
homework, these kids turn out responsible
and well-adjusted. If unmonitored, they
are more inclined to participate in
delinquent behavior. Children under 8 or 9
are at risk because of their immature
thinking and inability to assess risks.
After-school care is more common- these
places offer supervision for homework,
creative activities, sports, and computer
games. Kids who participate in these
programs are more academically
competent and better adjusted, less likely
to be caught in antisocial activities.
Child Abuse- any maltreatment of childrenphysical, emotional, psychological, neglect. 1 million
cases of child abuse per year, 400,000 cases of sexual
abuse (generally by a male relative) Reports have
increased in past 20 years.
1. Characteristics of the abuser- 20-40% have
a drug problem. 30% of abused children will
abuse their own children. Abusive mothers are
often battered, young, poverty stricken, poorly
educated, and single. Most are emotionally
insecure who see children’s normal behaviors
of frustration as rejection, disrespect. They are
authoritarian and punitive in their discipline.
2. Characteristics of the victim-sometimes only
one child is targeted for abuse- often one who
was sickly as a baby, hyperactivity, irritable,
with special problems.
3. The ecology of child abuse
a. Characteristics of the family-more often
under stress, due to divorce, death, marital
stress, loss of job, new home and no social or
family contacts.
b.High-risk neighborhoods- impoverished
and deteriorating neighborhoods with few
community services, rec centers, day care
programs, churches, parks. Parents live in
social isolation which stresses them more.
c.Cultural influences-US culture has a
more permissive attitude about violence in
general and sanctions use of physical
punishment to control children. Other
cultures have much lower abuse because
they don’t accept violence in conflict.
4. Consequences of Abuse and Neglectcommon effects on children are intellectual
deficits, academic problems, depression, social
anxiety, low self-esteem, poor relationships with
teachers and peers. Neglect links to academic
problems and few friends. Physical abuse links
to hostility, aggression, disordered relationships,
discipline problems at school and peer rejection.
Abused children also fail to develop empathy
towards others in distress. Nonabused children
pay attention and show concern to distressed
children, even trying to comfort the other.
Physically abused children become angry and try
to attack the crying child. They have learned that
distress triggers anger from others, not concern.
They also learned that there is no need to
regulate angry impulses and negative emotions
or search for non-violent solutions to conflict.
There is evidence that critical emotion-regulating
structures in the brain deteriorate in response to
abuse. It links to higher levels of suicide,
violence and aggression, substance abuse, and
depression. Abuse victims may overcome these
effects if there is a warm, secure and supportive
relationship somewhere- with grandparent, peer
parent, close friend.
5. Childhood sexual abuse-more common in
poverty-stricken families, with unhappily
married spouses, drug abuse, or who were
molested as children themselves. The offender
often elicits complicity by the victim with gifts,
special favors or threats of loss. After-effects
include: shame, lack of self-worth, loss of trust
of others, sexualized behaviors (acting out
sexually in public, behaving seductively, being
promiscuous), and more often sexually
victimized as adults and to feel dissatisfied with
marriage and sexual relationships. They also
experience PTSD, with nightmares, flashbacks,
intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and feelings of
helplessness. Unfortunately, the child may
realize the other parent is complicit in looking
the other way, and realize there is no source of
relief or help in the family. Secrecy is such a big
part of this problem that they often feel disloyal
by going outside the home for help. If the
nonabusing parent does get help and stop the
abuse, there is a good chance for recovery. Sex
education programs in schools are a good place
to start to enlighten children as to what is
appropriate and what is not. Teachers also need
to be trained to recognize signs of abuse and file
their suspicions.
Prevention of abuse and neglect-identifying highrisk families, even at birth with neonatal assessments
and home visits to educate and support new parents.
They offer support emotionally, materially,
psychologically and educationally in job skill
development. 24-hour hotlines or crisis nurseries for
parents in stress helps them stay in control.
Parents Anonymous-an organization of
reformed child abusers that functions as a support
group to help parents overcome their abusive
tendencies.
Even with interventions, 35-50% of all fatalities
due to maltreatment occur in cases of severe and
repeated maltreatment that law enforcement and
social services are already aware of. These families
need coercive interventions, not support at this point.
Arrest of parents when abuse is revealed is a
reasonable response to abuse. Unfortunately courts
have been reluctant to take custody from a parent
even in abuse cases because children have been
considered possessions of parents, not separate
people. Often the victim and other parent won’t
testify against the abuser, so the case falls apart.
Children’s safety needs to be the primary concern,
though, especially when there is a history of abuse.
Children who are not cared for in a stable home end
up in deviant lifestyles, victimized by predators,
depressed, suicidal, in the prison population.
THE FAMILY
The family as a social system
Direct vs. Indirect Influences
1)Nuclear families
2)Reciprocal influence
3)Coparenting
4)Extended family
Families as Embedded Systems
The Changing Family as a response to a
changing culture
1)More single adults
2)Postponement of marriage
3)Fewer children
4)Working moms
5)Divorce
6)Single parent families
7)Children in poverty
8)Remarriage- blended families
Parental Socialization
Dimensions of Parenting
1. Acceptance/responsiveness
2. Demandingness/ control
Patterns of Parenting- Baumrind
1)Authoritarian parenting
2)Authoritative parenting
3)Permissive parenting
4)Uninvolved parenting
Parent effects model
Child effects model
Transactional model
Social class differences in parenting
Ethnic differences in parenting
No-nonsense parenting in AfricanAmerican families
Homelessness, chaos and Child development
Adolescence- Renegotiating the Parent-child
relationship to develop autonomy in the child
Influence of Siblings
1)Sibling rivalry
2)Course of the sibling relationship
3)Positive effects of siblings
Only children
Diversity of families
1)Adoptive families
2)Gay and Lesbian families
3)Impacts of family conflict and divorce
a.Marital conflict effects
b.Effects of divorce- crisis and
reorganization
i. Children’s age
ii. Children’s temperament/ sex
c.Long-term reactions to divorce
d.Factors that ease adjustment to
divorce
4)Remarriage/ Blended families
a.Mother-stepfather families
b.Father-stepmother families
c.Family composition and Age
i. Complex stepparent homes
ii. Ownness effect
iii. Simple stepparent homes
5)Maternal employment
a.Father involvement
b.Day care
c.Self-care/latchkey children
Child Abuse
1.Characteristics of the abuser
2.Characteristics of the victim
3.The ecology of child abuse
a. Characteristics of the family
b.High-risk neighborhoods
c.Cultural influences
4. Consequences of Abuse and Neglect
5. Childhood sexual abuse
Prevention of abuse and neglect
Parents Anonymous
Law enforcement and social services