Swallows
Dramatis Personae:
Guo is the family name for the main characters:
Guo Yanyan: a lively, imaginative nine-year old girl on the threshold of new understandings;
Guo Rui, her mother, overworked, tired and lonely;
Tian Ling, Guo Rui’s sister-in-law, strict, organised and rather bossy;
Guo Lijun, Guo Rui’s husband and Tian Ling’s brother. Typical uneducated, rural man. Hard
working but not very soft.
Guo Hui, Tian Ling’s and Guo Lijun’s brother. Stole some money from Guo Lijun and was
banished from the family many years ago.
Guo Jiangwei, Yanyan’s little baby brother, whom she adores.
‘Yanyan1, come here immediately! Your mother needs some help.’
Guo Yanyan trips gaily into the hut, skipping over the door-ridge and clicking onto the
concrete of their main room, her new shoes glinting in the late summer sun.
‘Yes, Mother?’
‘Give the baby his food. Where were you? You know I want you to help and there you are,
running about dreaming all day! I am sure I don’t know where you get your habits from. Your
uncle was a dreamer too.’ A quick look at the other woman sitting beside her ravelling some
silk yarn for a new suit for Spring Festival.
‘Sister-in-law, hush,’ says the older woman in a peremptory tone. ‘Don’t talk about Guo Hui.
You know my brother doesn’t like it. He’s a disgrace. He said his name is never to be
mentioned in this house again. Why won’t you heed his simple instruction?’
‘As a warning, sister-in-law, I said it as a warning, that’s all!’ Tian Ling raises her eyebrows at
her sister-in-law. A likely story if ever I heard one!
Guo Rui shoves her newest-born into Yanyan’s arms and turns away so that the child might not
see her tears. Why must her sister-in-law always say bad things about Guo Hui? He wasn’t a
bad man. He was the best of men. He was kind to her when the rest of the family wasn’t. He
used to bring her special food and sometimes even some expensive fruit-juice from Guyuan
when she was resting for the month after Yanyan was born. No one else thought of doing that.
Her husband sometimes drinks their money, or even gambles it away. What is to become of
them all? She looks at Yanyan discretely. What a truly lovely child she is! Lithe and graceful,
lissom as a tender plant in the field. What will her destiny be, she wonders for a moment,
before her sister-in-law calls her away. Will the winds blow so savagely through her life too?
She looks so like Guo Hui, the same gentle face, large eyes, greeny-brown rather than black,
hair wild and unkempt (in her case long), and a dimple in her chin, so cute, so very like his.
And freckles. People say they are not pretty, but Gao Rui thinks her daughter beautiful. Like an
angel. And so sweet-natured. She really shouldn’t scold her just because that’s the way her
sister-in-law expects her to bring up girls. That family didn’t do such a good job with their own
girls, did they? Or their sons, come to that! She checks herself and sighs.
She takes up her sewing. She watches Yanyan cuddling the baby. A natural mother in the
making. She studies the flow of her profile from forehead to chin, the neat picture-like clarity,
the softness of her eyes as she holds her brother close and whispers words of love to him. It’s
the best time for a girl-child to be a mother. All the love and the cosiness, and none of the
Yan means Swallow. Yan Yan means Little Swallow. A common girl’s name in the northwest of China.
Bestowed by traditional parents, who believe in the female virtues of grace, beauty, and dexterity.
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responsibility. Her turn will come, and in only a few years too. The child is promised already
to Lian’s boy. He’s not a bad sort, but he’s not very kind. She noticed once that when his little
sister tripped because of him, he wasn’t sorry. Just picked her up and dumped her on her feet
again. She cried, it seemed to Guo Rui, because of his coldness rather than his clumsiness.
Would he comfort his wife if he knocked her down?
‘And when you’re a big boy, you’ll be an emperor,’ Yanyan says to her brother softly. This is a
game they play, this mother and baby. She spins fairy-tales for him, she predicts his future life,
casts spells and then together they eagerly await the future. ‘And you’ll have many servants
and you’ll beat them because they are bad, and they will love you and fear you. And you’ll live
in a big palace and at Spring Festival they will all come from places far away, even from a big
city like Guyuan, and they will give you many beautiful presents and bring delicious food for
you to eat. And some of the presents you will accept and thank them graciously because you
are a kind emperor. And others you will turn away because they are not good enough for you.
And the food, some of it you will eat, and some of it you will give away to the poor people,
because you are a good and powerful man and you can do that.’
She smiles and sighs. What a lovely future they are imagining. Little Jiangwei reaches up to
her face with his chubby fingers outstretched and pats her cheeks as if he has considered her
words and agrees with them. She laughs with delight.
‘Look, Mother, isn’t the baby sweet?’
‘Yes, dear,’ says Guo Rui, bending her head quickly to her sewing.
‘Stop playing, Yanyan, and feed the boy.’ Tian Ling orders the child. ‘And then you can help
me make some noodles for your mother. She’s working hard and all you can do is play!’
A girl’s life is hard, it’s true, but someone has to train them, otherwise when they grow up they
won’t be able to cope. And if she’s to have more of a life than either her or her sister-in-law,
then she’s going to need to be wiser in the ways of men. She looks at Yanyan. What a beautiful
child she is – doesn’t anyone else notice how much like her bad brother she is? Surely Guo
Lijun has seen the resemblance, but then men are stupid creatures anyway and wouldn’t see the
sun in the sky if women didn’t point it out to them. She looks at Guo Rui. She’s looking tired.
Perhaps she’s pregnant again. That would be just like her brother! No consideration either. Ah
well, a woman’s place it is to suffer. She shakes her head, then applies herself to her sewing
too. There’s a lot to do for Spring Festival this year. Nanna Guo needs a new suit and she’s
very fussy. No second-hand goods for her. And Uncle Wang must have his new waistcoat this
time. Last year they ran out of material. How could that have happened? She pauses a moment
and studies her sister-in-law. Why is she so secretive with her? Why won’t she let her in? She
loved her brother too, after all. She sits there, Guo Rui, in that graceful silence, and thinks no
one notices the way she looks at her daughter. Well, perhaps the men don’t, but she’s not
stupid. She knows her. She knows everything about her. And she knew her other brother too.
He wasn’t a good man for all his charm. Where is he now if he’s that wonderful? She knows
that Yanyan is more special to Gui Rui than she should be. She ought to be more careful or
even her husband will notice. And that would be dangerous. Why can’t she see that she only
wants to help the woman? It must be so hard for her, but she’s so guileless. So without any
sense of what is appropriate. Well, that much is obvious anyway, but honestly, her belief that
no one can know her secret! Just how foolish is she? She sighs and sits back heavily in her
chair, with a sigh.
Guo Rui closes her eyes in a long moment, praying to the spirits to give her strength to bear
this interfering woman’s intrusive company for yet another long day. She ought to love her
more. After all she’s Guo Lijun’s and even Guo Hui’s sister. She looks across at her,
registering her brothers’ looks, Guo Lijun’s stubborn chin and Guo Hui’s soft eyes. It’s an odd
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combination in one person, she muses, both brothers being so very different in temperament
and moods. She wishes she could appreciate her sister-in-law for no other reason than that she
is his sister, but it’s in vain. She can’t love her. She’s been trying for the last nine years and it
doesn’t look now as if it will ever be possible. This constant interference, this constant
reminder to her of what she has failed at, what she doesn’t do well as a wife and mother. How
much more is she expected to endure? Perhaps this is her punishment for her wickedness.
Yanyan puts the baby back in his small cot and goes quietly to the curtain at the door, pushing
it softly aside and looking out onto the vast landscape outside. She smiles at the gathering
swallows twittering in the skies. The last swallows of Summer. Her birthday has just come and
she was nine this year. Nine years old. Soon she will be ten whole years old and the swallows
will come for her birthday next year too and celebrate it with her. Imagine that! She looks back
at her mother. Guo Rui is looking tired. Perhaps she can gather her some herbs from the stream
in the valley. A few minutes would serve to carry her there if she could fly like the birds
wheeling above. She bites her lip and dares the question:
‘Mother, can I go out and play? Baby’s asleep now and I won’t go for long.’
‘You have to help your aunt make the noodles, Yanyan. Weren’t you listening?’
Yanyan’s smile vanishes and Guo Rui feels her heart contract with love for her? Why
shouldn’t the child go and play? She’ll have enough duties and cares soon enough. Why
burden her now?
‘Go and play, child!’ says Tian Ling, seemingly pleased that her sister-in-law is observing her
strictures. ‘It won’t do any harm, but be back soon, please. We might as well sew while the
light stays good.’
Yanyan jumps up and down with delight. Such a delightful child! Both adults are caught in
their own memories, and then resume their sewing with an added sense of purpose.
‘Thank you, sister-in-law,’ Guo Rui offers, looking over at the tireless woman with a small
smile.
‘I sometimes think you’re too soft with her, as you know,’ replies Tian Ling, ‘but she’s a good
girl and she can play a little while we work.’
‘Yes, I am sure you are right! This part,’ she begins, offering her silken material over to her
sister-in-law. ‘I can’t quite get this edging right. Can you show me?’
‘Of course. It’s easy. Look, like this.’
The two women work together in companionable silence for a while.
Yanyan gallops over the stones and slaps her thigh in the manner of one urging a horse to
greater speed. ‘Whoah, there!’ she says, pulling herself up short and champing at the ground
with her foot. She saw that once on a film at her Aunt Wang’s house. The film was about
warriors and was set in countryside just like this – big rocky mountains looming above earthy
valleys, swept by the bitterly cold north-western winds. It was about heroes fighting for honour
and truth and freedom. The hero’s horse was big and black and gleaming and pawed at the
ground every time he was forced to stop galloping. He lived for galloping, this horse, and
seemed put out when he was prevented from running wildly about the landscape, rescuing
maidens in distress and besieging castles. Of course the hero did a little rescuing and fighting
and besieging too, but the horse was the main hero for her. She could watch the film again and
again, but didn’t see how that would be possible. And she hadn’t always been able to hear what
the people were saying anyway, because her father and Uncle Wang kept playing silly games
with fingers and dice and shouting all the time. But it was a thrilling film and she would never
forget it. And Guigui, her horse, wouldn’t forget it either. She slapped her thigh and spurted off
to the next castle.
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‘There, you see.’
‘Thank you.’
Silence descends again. The two women pore over their material and gather here, cut there,
cinch the soft fabric between calloused fingers and stitch carefully.
Guo Rui puts the material to her mouth, pulls the silken thread taut and bites through it.
‘There, finished. I hope Nanna Guo likes it this time.’
‘It’ll be the first time if she does,’ says Tian Ling before checking herself and then looks
guiltily at the younger woman, unable to prevent herself bursting with laughter at her
outspokenness.
‘Oh yes, I see what you mean!’ Guo Rui laughs loudly, feeling free in her sister-in-law’s
company for a change. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’
‘Yes, I would.’
Guo Rui stands up with a slight effort, and Tian Ling notices the faint roundness of her belly.
‘Another child, I see.’
Guo Rui turns her face away in embarrassment, busying herself with cups and kettle and water.
‘Er, yes! In January,’ she replies softly, hoping they can change the subject.
‘And another not nursed yet.’
Guo Rui doesn’t know what to say. ‘No.’
Tian Ling’s only comment is a sigh.
‘We women have it hard! Are you happy?’
‘Of course I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be happy? I love my children. Yanyan is such a
wonderful child. So bright, you know. The other day…’
‘And Jiangwei?’
‘And Jiangwei what?’ This is becoming dangerous. She clatters the cups onto the table. She
means to be distracting, but realises it might be interpreted as rude. ‘Yes, of course I love
Jiangwei and I will love this child too.’
‘But it’s Yanyan you love the most, isn’t it?’
No answer.
‘Isn’t it?’
‘Yes, yes it is. Are you satisfied? I love Yanyan more than my life. More than my husband,
Guo Lijun. More than Jiangwei. More. That’s all. Just more than anyone else.’ But not more
than Guo Hui. No, not more than him.
‘I understand!’
Guo Rui looks across at her sister-in-law and for a moment knows that she knows. She blushes
and looks away, arranging the cups on the table, the kettle and some sunflower-seeds. ‘Let’s
have tea!’ she says mutely and sits down to pour.
Yanyan skips from boulder to boulder, stretching her arms out as if for balance across a deep
ravine. She takes some tentative steps forward and then makes as if to fall. ‘Careful, careful,’
she admonishes herself and ventures more carefully over the swaying bridge. She hopes that
the combined weight of herself and Guigui won’t be too heavy for the bridge and she bites her
lip in an ecstasy of concentration. Phew, they make it and she wipes the sweat from her
warrior’s brow! A close call. And now what adventures await them? She turns her steed to the
horizon, snaps at her thigh and gallops towards it.
‘Good tea. Did you buy it from the village store?’ Tian Ling looks at her cup carefully. There’s
a little chink in the porcelain. It won’t last much longer.
‘Guo Lijun brought it back from Guyuan on his last trip.’
‘Ah, I see.’
There is a pause.
‘Yanyan is a lovely child. She so looks like Guo Hui, don’t you think?’
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‘I thought you said…’
‘A lovely child. I’ve always liked her best too. If I’d had a daughter, I would have liked her to
be like Yanyan.’
Guo Rui is torn between changing the subject and talking about her favourite child. It’s a
difficult contest.
‘She has such a vivid imagination.’
‘Yes, that’s something her father has too!’
‘Guo Lijun isn’t, I mean he doesn’t…’
‘Guo Lijun, no, you’re right.’
‘I don’t know what you think you’re saying, sister-in-law. I don’t think we should talk about
this anymore.’ She blinks away her tears of fear and frustration. Where is this leading? What
does the woman know? Her hand shakes as she attempts another gulp of tea. It scalds the back
of her throat and she coughs.
‘Careful, you don’t want to burn yourself, Guo Rui.’
The wind whips through her unruly hair and Yanyan stands on a small promontory holding out
her arms to embrace the elements. She is free and as light as air. She can fly like the birds
above and there are no mothers and aunts and fathers and uncles telling her what to do. She can
run like the wind and soar through the heavens and she can fight evil demons and save little
Jiangwei from jealous warlords. She can do anything.
‘Yeeeees!’ she screams out at the gathering clouds, turning and turning like a spinning top, and
losing her footing and falling sideways down the slope, laughing as the dust and mud swirl
around her. She comes to rest and jumps up, dusting herself down and giggling as the dust reels
around her in swathes. She’d better get rid of this dust before she goes home. Home! Oh dear,
she’d entirely forgotten. She had promised to be back very soon and she must have been out
for hours. It’s going to take her some time to run home, even on Guigui. She immediately
launches off in the direction of her small hut.
‘I don’t know what you mean.’ Guo Rui has no idea how to cope with this situation. She had
no idea anyone else had guessed. That it should be her interfering sister-in-law makes it so
much worse. She shakes her head and a single tear falls into her tea-cup. What is she to do if
anyone else finds out? She will be ruined. She will lose her home, and more than that, she will
lose her reputation and her daughter.
‘Don’t cry.’ Tian Ling sounds concerned. Her eyes are melting at her. Surely she isn’t going to
be nice. How much she wants to talk about Guo Hui. How much she needs to. Suddenly,
without warning, she begins to cry, putting her head into her hands and giving into her feelings
entirely. She shakes with her sobs, and suddenly, a miracle, Tian Ling is by her side, kneeling
at her side and stretching out her arms in comfort. Guo Rui throws herself into her sister-inlaw’s arms and sobs without restraint, sobbing her tears onto the woman’s shoulder, all the
pent up years of sadness and deprivation from what she loves most winding her with their
momentum. And Tian Ling rocks her as one would a child.
‘I loved him so much, sister,’ she whispers, as if the words make it real for the first time. She
holds her breath, realising the weapon she has given her husband’s sister, but she cannot regret
her candour. These words had to be spoken.
‘I know!’ The miracle of those words.
Guo Rui raises herself from Tian Ling’s shoulder and looks her squarely in the face.
‘You know?’
‘You know that I know! You just didn’t trust me. I’ve always known. Since the first time I saw
Yanyan.’
‘Oh Ling, what can I do?’ She sits back in her chair, averting her face in shame and covering
her mouth with her hand to prevent more tears escaping.
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‘There is nothing to do.’ Tian Ling returns to her chair and sits forward, her hands on her
knees, as if she is about to come to a decision. ‘I know. We know. It’s all right.’
Guo Rui heaves with sobs of relief. She looks at her sister-in-law again.
‘I miss him, Ling. I miss him every single day.’
‘No, you don’t! You have Yanyan. She is a better person than he is.’
‘Don’t say that!’
‘It’s true and you know it’s true, or you should know it! He was a dream when your own life
was unhappy. You know he stole that money from Guo Lijun. He deserved to be thrown out.
Yanyan is true and good and pure and you know that he wasn’t. You were his brother’s wife!’
‘I know, but Guo Lijun…’
‘Yes, yes, I understand. But he stood by you.’
‘You don’t mean he knows?’
‘No, not really knows. Suspects probably. He’s a man, but he must recognise Hui in his
daughter. He must do. But he doesn’t make an issue of it, Rui. You have to remember that. He
could throw you out.’
‘I am so ashamed. I’m so sorry, Ling. Really. So sorry.’
‘Tsk tsk, no matter. Don’t apologise to me. Just don’t treat me with such bitterness.’
‘I thought you didn’t like me.’
‘I didn’t at first. I hated you. And then, well, you know. I was married too. I don’t love my
husband. How many of us do?’
The silence suggests both are thinking about it.
‘Perhaps, and I am only saying perhaps, if I had been in your shoes, I might have acted as you
did. I don’t like what you did, but, well, I am a woman. I can see that my brother would have
been very charming.’
‘He was, Ling. He was! Oh, such a handsome man too.’
‘Yes, but not necessarily a good man. And you’re being like a silly girl waiting for something
that can never happen. I know. He’s never coming back. You’re not going to go off into the
sunset with each other together with your daughter between you, hand in hand. It’s not going to
happen, Rui. You must realise that and start living in that way now. You owe that to your
husband. You are not being fair to anyone. Rui, you are not being fair to your daughter. You
are not being fair to Yanyan.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Things are changing in our China. Even in the countryside. There are foreigners in Guyuan,
you know. Teaching at the college. People are coming from outside to be here. Times are
getting easier for women. Women are starting to have choices. Women can have jobs now even
if they have children. Your Yanyan’s world will be different from ours. Do you want her to
rely on dreams for the rest of her life, like you?’
‘I…’
‘No, no excuses, Guo Rui, this is serious now. You are alive now, here with your husband. I
agree he’s not the best man in the world. He drinks too much, but he works hard for the family.
You have two, no, nearly three beautiful children. All are lovely. Not just Yanyan because of
who her father was! All your children. And their world will be different from ours. It’s your
job to help them become the best they can be. Stop dreaming of the past and dream of the
future!’
Guo Rui turns away, moved to tears, but it’s easy for her to say all that. She doesn’t understand
how she feels. She’s…And then suddenly, she hears Yanyan’s footsteps out in the yard. The
child is late. She promised to come back quickly. She must have been over an hour.
Yanyan has arrived home. She has to go in now and she expects trouble when she does. She
turns back to look at her beloved playground again. The wind is swirling mists of dust
everywhere and it’s becoming wild. The wind is a semi-wild spirit haunting the last moments
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of summer. She wishes she could stay out there forever. She hears the excited chatter of the
swallows as they wheel above her in perfect, swooping arcs, one after the other, as if engaged
in playing tag. She scoops up the air in an arc, her fingers flying as swallows about to leave for
the winter. She cranes her head upwards and sees them gathering in the darkening skies and
suddenly, without warning, she feels a deep sorrow and a stirring within, deep in her little soul.
She suddenly wants to be able to fly away with the little birds, right now, travel south for the
winter, just as her teacher explained to her and her classmates. Fly to a warmer climate, where
there is sunshine all day and all night. She doesn’t want them to go away and leave her without
playmates here. Will they ever come back? And will she still be able to play with them when
they do? Will they come and celebrate her birthday with her as they have done every year so
far? She blinks painfully because she realises that perhaps next year things will be different and
she won’t be able to play with them at all. Guigui won’t play with her anymore either because
he’s getting old (it took him ages to get home just now) and she won’t be crossing bridges to
save prisoners from evil spirits. As well as all that, she already has one baby brother and she
believes her mother might be having another child as well. She’s behaving the way she used to
before Jiangwei was born. Eating different foods and pacing the floor at night. She’s heard her,
night after night, pacing up and down like a caged animal. So that’ll be two for her to look after
instead of one. She wipes away a tear and listens to the last of the swallows piercing the
distance with their cries as she walks slowly through the curtain into her hut. As the cloth
lingers in her hand and then is slowly dropped, Yanyan feels something falling away from her
and a lump comes into her throat.
She goes immediately to check Jiangwei, who is still sleeping peacefully, his little mouth
exhaling the same little globule of spit on every breath. It’s making a tiny rasping sound and
she bends over him to hear it more clearly, before wiping his mouth free. She smiles at him.
What a pretty little boy he is! And now for the onslaught. She looks over at her mother. But
she’s been crying. She sitting in her chair staring straight ahead, as if she’s not even aware that
Yanyan has returned. Whatever is the matter? Has Aunt been upsetting her again?
‘Are you all right, Mother? I’m back now. I forgot the time. I’m sorry. I was playing, but I’m
here now.’ She walks across to her mother and places her hand on the woman’s arm. A sob
escapes the adult and she presses her daughter’s hand softly.
Yanyan looks across nervously at her aunt, but the woman is silently going through her
stitching to check every seam. What can be happening here?
‘Are you all right?’ she asks her mother again more privately this time, leaning over to her.
Perhaps she is not well.
‘Yes, daughter. I’m all right. And you’re all right.’ Her tears course down her cheeks. Yanyan
is scared now. Aunt Tian isn’t speaking. What’s going on here?
‘I am so proud of you and Jiangwei,’ Guo Rui says, taking the child’s hand and going across to
the cot. ‘Look at him! Isn’t he a lovely boy? And there’s to be another child soon,’ she adds,
patting her stomach with a soft smile, ‘and I shall want you to help me. But Yanyan, listen to
me!’ with a quick glance at the seated, silent woman. ‘You must also study. I want you to be a
successful woman. I want you to have more than I have. I want you to go further than I have.
Do you understand? Do you understand?’
She is now shaking her daughter by the shoulders.
‘Yes, Mother, I understand. Please, don’t shake me. I do understand. I really do.’ She looks up
at her mother, her own eyes shining with insight. ‘It’s just what the swallows have been telling
me,’ she adds.
Tian Ling looks up and smiles, shaking her head. ‘A dreamer. Just like her father!’ She bends
her head to her task again.
‘Yes, just like him!’ says Guo Rui. ‘Come on, Yanyan, let’s make some noodles for your aunt
and for your father when he comes home.’
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‘And for you and me now!’ says Yanyan happily.
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