Youth Etiquette Training
Formal and Informal Table Settings
Youth Etiquette Book
1. The Informal Table (freedom of choices)
Whether the dinner party is called “casual”, “semi-formal” or “informal” you have more freedom of
choices, in planning the table setting then for a formal dinner. There are some considerations that must
be given attention, based on the theme of our party, the style of your home, available space and the
taste of your guest. Other than restrictions mentioned above, you may give your creativity and your
imagination free rein in setting the table.
Table Covering
You may cover your table with patterned cloth or with place mats. If you have lace, pretty linen, woven
mats or pretty linen with napkins that compliment or match them, these are wonderful for informal
dinners. Also there are lovely plastic sets that will be appropriate too. Your center piece and china must
go will with what-ever table covering you choose. Put energy into an individual or unusual look that will
make you table stand apart.
Centerpiece
Your originality may come through you choice in selecting the centerpiece. Be creative by using the
seasons of the year, colored ribbons, and dried flowers, you can also get ideas form magazines. The
centerpiece and the china must go well with the table covering
Candles
On an informal table candles are used, but in candlesticks rather than candelabra. They can be of any
color that goes well with the mats or tablecloth, but high enough that the flame is above the eye level of
the guest. The hostess will extinguish all candles as she leaves the dining table (cup your hand behind
the flame and blow it out).
Place Settings
The difference between informal and formal place setting is that for informal there is less of everything.
There are fewer pieces of silver put out and fewer courses served. Informal place setting is the same
layout as for a formal dinner; everything on the dinning table should be symmetrically and evenly
spaced. Ice tea glasses or water tumblers are used. When bread or rolls are served, a butter plate and
butter spreader should be on the table. Butter plate should be similar or harmonize well with your
dinner plates. If you do not have a butter plate to match your dinner plates you should buy a set of
matching glass ones. It is not appetizing to have your roll or butter get messy or soggy because it has
ended up in the salad dressing or juice on your plate, or if you find your butter melting on the edge of a
warm plate into your vegetables and meat before you can spread it on your bread. For more of the
same reasons serve salad plates if the menu includes any dishes with gravy. Salads may be put on the
same plate with the broiled chops, steak or chicken. If coffee is served with the meal, place the cup and
saucer on the right side of the placement setting with the coffee spoon on the right side of the saucer.
Page 1
Youth Etiquette Book
Page 2
Youth Etiquette Book
2. Place Setting for a Three Course Dinner
Spacing for place settings should be two feet from plate center to plate center. Silver is used from the
outside in. The silver that is closest to the dinner plate is used last.
Basic Placement
Forks
One fork for dinner at the left of the plate
One for fork dessert or salad to the far left of the plate
Salad Plate
One plate should be placed to the left of forks.
Dinner Plate
One dinner plate should be brought to the table after guests are seated. The dinner plate should
be very warm when food is served.
Knife
One knife should be placed next to the plate on the right (for steaks, chops, chicken it may be a
steak knife).
Spoons
One dessert spoon (teaspoon) at the far right
One Soup spoon to the far right of the plate
Butter Plate (top left of plate)
One butter plate with butter knife
Glasses (top right of plate)
One water goblet or tall tumbler
One beverage glass
Additional Items
Coffee/Hot Tea
The cup and saucer go to the right of the setting, place coffee spoon on the right side of the saucer.
Service Plate
Service plate is only used at an informal dinner under stemmed glass used for fruit or fruit cocktail.
Salad
Often served with main course instead of separate; salad plate our bowl should be set at the left of each
place setting.
Condiments
Place in serving dishes, conveniently space them around the table.
Page 3
Youth Etiquette Book
3. Formal Table Setting
One unbreakable rule for the formal table is that everything on the table must be symmetrically spaced.
The centerpiece must be in the actual center of the table, all placements setting at equal distances, and
all of the utensils balanced. Other than this one rule, your decorations and arrangements, you may vary
to your wish.
Table Cloths
(White Damask or Linen)
White Damask (Dam-Ask) is the best tablecloth for a formal dinner table, a pad must be used to put
under it. Never cover your damask tablecloth with clear plastic (because the cloth cannot be seen and it
gives the table as slippery surface, and will disguise the beauty of the damask). When linen or damask
cloth is used it is essential that the middle crease be put on so that it is a straight line down the center of
the table. If the table cloth is embroidered make sure that the monogram or the embroidery is right
side up. Whether linen or lace goes overt the table, padding or felt are to be omitted.
Table Cloth Dimensions
For a seated dinner, the tablecloth should be eighteen inches in length the table clothes should not
extend to the floor as it does on a buffet table.
Napkins
24 inch square Napkins
Accurately, a true formal damask dinner napkin matches the tablecloth and is about twenty-four inches
square. Whether your napkins are of this size or not, large napkins are folded three times in each
direction to make a smaller square. The two sides are then folded under to form, a loosely “rolled”
rectangle shape. Take care so that the monogram shows at the lower left corner of the rectangle or you
may have the initials at the center of the one side of the napkins. The monogram is in the center third
of the “roll”.
Smaller Napkins
Smaller napkins are folded in the same way as above instruction, only making two folds to make the
smaller square. The smaller square can be also be folded diagonally in half and the two points folded
under leaving the initials/monogram showing in the center point of the napkins.
Place Cards
Courtesy Title and Surname
“Dr. Markowitz”, “Mr. Brown” are used at official dinners, when you don’t have more than one guest
with the same surname. When more than one guest with the same surname for example, “Mrs. Mary
Williams” and “Mrs. Howard Williams” should be used to make distinction. At dinner for relatives and
friends first names are used or differentiate if necessary example “Betty J.” and “Betty G”. Place cards
may be placed on the tablecloth above the service plate at the exact center of the place setting.
Page 4
Youth Etiquette Book
Menu Cards
Most often are seen at banquets or official dinners but sometimes are used in private homes at formal
dinners. Usually there is only one which is placed exactly in front of the host, but at times there is a
menu card between every two guest. The menu card never includes accessories such as olives, celery,
chocolates, rolls, salt, pepper or ice water.
Silver
Silver used at a formal dinner should always be sterling. Gold is not as appropriate as silver for private
dinner parties. It is not essential that all silver match, however all spoons, forks, knives, should be of the
same pattern.
Dessert Silver
Dessert Silver, that is not on the table but brought in with the dessert plates at a formal dinner, do not
need to match the dinner forks.
Coffee Spoons
After dinner coffee spoons are often entirely different. Knives and forks should match except if you
have a set of knives with crystal or carved bone hands which can be used with any pattern.
Glasses
Each place should be set with the number of glasses to be used during the meal, with the exception of
the dessert wine glass, which will be put on the table after the dessert is served. Water goblets are
placed closest to the center of each setting, with wine glasses to the right in the order that they will be
used.
China
China also may be mixed but all of the plates for each course at one table should match. For an example
all of the service plates must be of one pattern, although dinner plates while matching each other,
maybe very different. Glass butter plates, silver and dessert/salad plates maybe used with any fine
China. It is important that careful thought and consideration be given so that each item is of the same
high quality of the others.
Centerpiece
Once the table cloth is in place, the next piece to be put on the table is the centerpiece. As its name
signifies it must be placed in the exact center of the table. The centerpiece must never be so high that
the diners cannot see over it, but the width and length of the centerpiece is limited by the size of the
table. Lovely glass, fruit, china, or imitation silk flowers are appropriate.
Page 5
Youth Etiquette Book
Candles
Candles for the most formal dinner should be brand new and white. Candles should be lighted before
the guest come to the table and remain lighted until they leave the dining room. When the center piece
is in place a pair of candles are placed at each end, halfway between the place of the host and the
hostess and the centerpiece. The number of candles used depends upon the whether the dining room is
lighted or not. If the room is dependent upon the candle light there should be a candle for each person;
two or four candelabras are needed depending on the length of the table and they number invited
guest. If you are using two candelabras at each end, space them evenly between the centerpiece and
the hostess’ and hosts’ place. But if the candles are used for ornaments two or found candles will do for
a table of up to eight. Candelabras or candlesticks must be high and the candles as long as the
proportion can stand, so that the light does not shine into the eyes of the guest at the table.
Finishing Touches
Compotes or dishes filled with candied fruit or chocolate mints, may be put at the corners between the
candelabra or candlestick and the centerpiece, or where they can be equally spaced on the table. The
compotes dishes are left there through the entire meal and may be passed around after dessert is
finished. Nuts maybe put on the dinner table in silver dishes or small individual ones at each of the place
settings but they are to be removed with the salt and pepper shakers after the salad course.
Pepper pots and saltcellars should be at every place setting or between every two place settings. For a
dinner of twelve there should be six (never less than four) salt and peppers. Open saltcellars must be
properly accompanied by tiny silver serving spoons, which may have a gold bowl. Gold is not so easily
damaged by salt. No ashtrays or cigarettes are to be placed on the table.
The Individual Places
The setting of the places or the distance between the places at the table must never be so short that the
guests have no elbow room. About two feet from plate center is the standard.
Service Plates
The service plates properly positioned will have the “pictured pattern” facing the diner is put around the
table at equal distances.
Silver Placement
The silver is placed in the order of its use, with the silver that is to be used first farthest from the plate.
Only three of any utensils are ever placed on the table (with the exception of the oyster forks making
four forks)For that reason, if there are more than three courses served before desert, the fork for the
fourth course is brought in at the same time that it is served. Now the salad knife and fork may not be
included in the beginning and brought in when the salad is served.
Page 6
Youth Etiquette Book
Forks
One salad fork is placed to the left of the plate
One meat fork is placed next to salad fork
One fish fork is placed next to meat fork (which will be used first)
Knifes (The cutting edge of each knife is turned toward the plate)
One salad knife is placed to the right of the plate
One dinner knife is placed next to the salad knife
One fish knife is placed next to the dinner knife
Spoons (On the right side of the knives are the spoons)
Oyster fork
An oyster fork is used if any shall fish be served. (The shellfish or oyster fork is the only fork to be placed
on the right side of the plate).
Butter Plate (placement)
The butter plate is placed about the forks at the left of the place setting. The butter knife is laid across
it, slightly diagonal form upper left to lower right, having the sharpener edge of the blade towards the
edge of the table.
Glasses (placement)
Set out glasses in the order of use placing the smaller ones in front. The water goblet is placed above the
knives (directly)
Napkins (placement)
The napkin is placed on top of the charger (if one is used) or put in the space for the plate
Napkins
Napkins are place in the center of the service plate (also called the charger plate) with the monogram
facing the diner. Napkins are put on the side only when the first course is put on the table before guest
is seated. It is incorrect for formal table-setting to put the napkins at the sided of an empty plate just to
display the plate.
Page 7
Youth Etiquette Book
Page 8