Lecture 13
Polygamy-II
In our last lecture, we talked about Polygamy in details. There are still some pertinent
issues related to Polygamy that need to be discussed and inshallah in this lecture, we will
cover some of these issues.
1. Options of the first wife in a proposed polygamous marriage
Although it is not a prerequisite for a man's marriage to a second woman that the first
wife should agree and consent - the first wife does not have such an automatic veto - it is
in the spirit of Islam for there to be appropriate discussion and consultation with the first
wife. It would reflect very badly on the character of a husband if he got married to a
second woman in secret and then surprised his first wife with the fact afterwards. It is
however possible for the wife to have a form of veto on the husband taking a second
wife; this is possible if, at the time of marriage, she had stipulated as a condition of the
marriage that he should not take a second wife. All jurists agree that if a husband agrees
to this condition, then it is legally enforceable on him - i.e., he cannot take a second wife
without breaking the marriage contract with his first wife. Another form of protection for
the first wife, which again amounts to a form of veto, is 'Aisima (Delegated Repudiation),
this is where at the time of the marriage, a husband transfers his unilateral right of
divorce to the wife. Then, if the husband takes a second wife and the first wife is not
happy with this, she can sue for divorce.
2. Options of a woman who did not secure any safeguards at the time of her
marriage
In Islamic law, if a wife is unhappy about her husband taking a second wife, but is unable
to take either of the two courses of action given above because no such provisions were
made in the marriage contract, it is still possible for her to seek divorce from her husband.
She is entitled to go to a judge and ask for divorce from her husband on the grounds that
he has caused her harm or has been unjust to her in taking another wife.
3. Options for a woman if the judge refuses to grant the divorce
If the judge refuses to grant the first wife a divorce on the grounds of her husband's remarriage, there is still a way open to her through the unique Islamic system of Khula'.
Khula' means that even if there is no fault on the part of the husband in taking a second
wife and he is equitable and just to all of the family, the first wife, being still unhappy
with the situation, can obtain separation from him by paying some financial
compensation to him in order to release herself from the marriage tie. The compensation
is usually the return to the husband of the marriage gift that he had given his wife.
4. Can the husband refuse to accept separation?
If a woman returns her marriage gift under the system of khula - then the husband is
obliged to release his wife from the marriage and the marriage is dissolved.
5. Why polyandry is forbidden in Islam
Permission to have a plurality of spouses is only given to men in Islamic law. The
Qur'anic verses which allude to this question are quite specific in indicating that it is only
the men who are allowed to take more than one spouse. Islam's prohibition against
women taking more than one husband (polyandry) is not unique; it is very difficult to
find incidents of polyandry practiced by women even if one searches throughout human
history. Polygyny (having several wives), on the other hand was widely practiced in all
civilizations and amongst the Jews and Christians. Reasons why polyandry should be so
rare despite the many diverse cultures and peoples who lived throughout history may
include:
a) From the biological point of view, whereas a husband can father several children, a
woman can only bear the child of one husband; since it is a universal human norm that
each child is entitled to know and indeed insists on knowing his lineage, if a woman was
married to more than one man, there would be no knowing who the father of each of the
children was.
b) Socially, it is true of almost all cultures in all times that the role of leadership in the
family is taken by the male. If a woman was married to more than one man, there would
be competition between the husbands for the leadership role and this could easily result in
violence breaking out between them.
c) From the psychological point of view, it has been shown that women, unlike men, take
a view of sex which is often more tied to the emotional side than the physical side. It
follows from this that her feelings tend to concentrate more on one subject therefore
women are by nature more monogamous than men are - that is, normal, virtuous women
who have no inclination towards promiscuity. [CH.4 v.3 and CH.4 v.129.]
6. Options of a wife whose husband is chronically ill or barren
A wife faced by this situation has the same options as her male counterpart, except that
she may not marry a second husband at the same time as her first:
a) She can resign herself to the condition of her husband and continue to look after him;
b) She can terminate her relationship with him, obtain a divorce (which she would be
legally entitled to) and then re-marry.
7. Disadvantages of polygamy
a) Jealousy: Even though the first wife of a man who is polygamously married may be
very noble in terms of her faith and commitment to Allah, no woman is happy about a
situation in which another woman shares her husband's love, affection and resources and
jealousy and ill-feeling can develop easily.
b) Equality: Most men would find it very difficult to keep more than one wife because of
the financial outlay that this involves, particularly as Islam lays on the husband the strict
requirement that he should treat each wife with absolute justice.
c) Harmony: The presence of more than one wife in the household could result in
incessant quarrelling between them, or even between the husband and his wives who
could co-operate together against him. These conflicts and the competition for power and
favor from the husband could be passed onto to the children of the different wives.
Limited polygamy has been made permissible in Islamic law as a concession to mankind;
like all concessions, however, it is open to abuse. It is nevertheless true that as a solution
to certain types of problems, polygamy offers a wholesome and beneficial alternative, in
spite of the disadvantages listed above.
8. Weighing the relative harms and benefits of polygamy
In societies where polygamy is totally outlawed, it can be argued that problems which
arise due to the unavailability of this option due to its prohibition are in fact much greater
than the result of allowing polygamy would be. In the extenuating circumstances listed
earlier, individuals are faced by an extremely limited and unnatural set of choices if the
alternative of polygamy is closed to them. They could be faced with suffering for the rest
of their lives because they are deprived of the warmth of married life and of the
opportunity to satisfy their instinctive needs in a moral and wholesome manner. At the
same time, the temptation to indulge in relations which are morally corrupt could become
overpowering which, in turn would lead to the disintegration of the family and society.
Muslims, evaluating the options available from the standpoint of opposition to
immorality in any form, would find that given the choice between polygamous marriage,
in which a husband enters into a second marriage in the open, with full legal safeguards
for his new wife and her children and hypocritical monogamy on the other hand, where a
man is officially married to one wife but keeps mistresses, the former option is purer and
more wholesome. Sexual relations without a commitment to marriage are repulsive to the
Muslim; there is no protection for the women involved in such relations, Allah's moral
teachings are flouted and all the time there is the possibility that the suspecting first wife
will discover the shocking truth about her husband's illicit relationships. Note, Islam does
not view polygamy as a general rule for everyone, it provides a solution for exceptional
problems: a solution which is at the same time, practical, moral and wholesome.
9. Incidence of polygamy in the Muslim world today
Non-Muslims usually equate Islam with starting polygamy and also assume that in
countries where Islam prevails, polygamy is rampant. Both views are totally incorrect.
That all Muslim men are polygamously married is a false stereotype, studies have shown
that the overall percentage of Muslim men who are polygamously married is a fraction of
1%. These studies have also shown that there is no indication that this practice is on the
rise and therefore for the foreseeable future, the incidence of polygamy will continue to
be at this meagre fraction of a percentage.
10. Answer to those who wish to prohibit polygamy
Even though some Muslim scholars have supported the call to abolish polygamy, it is a
call which reflects an apologetic and superficial view towards something permitted by
God. They are merely reacting to unfair accusations made against Islam by biased nonMuslims in various reference works. Objectively speaking it is not appropriate to prohibit
polygamy for a number of reasons:
a) From the Islamic standpoint no human authority can supersede the divine authority of
Allah. Since He, in His wisdom, has granted man the concession of polygamy, (it is a
practice which is permissible according to the Qur’an), no man has the authority to
prohibit something God has permitted, simply because of attacks by biased non-Muslims.
Allah knew that polygamy would be an appropriate solution to certain types of problems
and that it is better than either divorce or adultery, hence its permissibility in Islam;
b) Since polygamy is practiced by less than 1% of the Muslim population, it is not an
alarming problem which demands such a drastic response as outright prohibition;
c) To prohibit the practice of polygamy is a negative action which does not provide any
alternative solution to the Kinds of problems of that polygamy solves - in a real life
situation, such as was discussed previously, it would be of no help to the individuals
involved if polygamy as a solution was dismissed as repulsive, with no other more pure
and wholesome alternative being provided.
To date, only one 'Muslim' country has altered its Islamic based constitution to totally ban
polygamy. The ruler of this country is not committed to Islam and therefore follows
whatever comes from the West whether it is appropriate or not. The consequences of this
ban are ridiculous because whereas a man who is married polygamously to a second wife,
for whom he is legally responsible is punished with a jail sentence; another man who has
only one wife but has illicit relations with mistresses for whom he shows no commitment
and responsibility will be free, when he is brought before the same judge as the first.
11. Restricting the practice of polygamy
Polygamy is permissible in Islam, a concession to the nature of man, however, like all
permissible things, it is open to abuse by unscrupulous people; the idea of preventing
such abuse by imposing restrictions on the practice of polygamy is not opposed by Islam
- in fact, Islam does provide some restrictions of its own which govern the permissibility
of polygamy. These are: financial ability to support more than one wife and observance
of complete justice in the treatment of all of the wives. Polygamy in Islam is conditional
on the observance of these two limits. Any further legislation which restricts the practice
of polygamy in order to prevent abuses would be permissible so long as it does not go
against Islamic law; that is, it should not be a disguised, 'back-door', prohibition of
polygamy. If it were, it would force people to break the moral codes of Islam because the
recourse of polygamy would be unavailable to them. Many famous Muslim scholars and
jurists have addressed themselves to the task of restricting the practice of polygamy to
prevent abuse of it, however, some of the reformers have suggested changes which, in
effect, take away from the individual the right to determine the conduct of his own
personal life - this right is transferred to the hands of a judge. Other reformers, (for
instance, Shaikh Muhammad Abu Zahra, a famous jurist), have said that questions of
such sensitivity should not be determined by a judge: the religious conditions that Islam
lays down as a pre-condition for the practice of polygamy are based on the ethical
convictions of the individual and therefore should not be turned into legal conditions
which require a judge's intervention.
[Ref.: Dr. Jamal Badawi’s Islamic Teaching Course: Vol. 3]