Dear reader,
I hope this finds you well. I don't know who you are, where you're coming
from, or how you found me, but I'm pretty sure I have a good idea of why
you're here.
Chances are, you fall in one of the following categories:
a) you're contemplating embarking on a fat loss journey to reveal your abs
that have been hibernating since the dawn of time;
b) you're currently in the throes of dieting and you need some
encouragement because the process has quickly lost its luster;
c) you've already tried and quit multiple times and want to figure out what
the missing piece is;
d) you've got a cookie in your mouth right now and you're reading this out of
guilt; or
e) I very strongly urged you to read this and you can't say no to me. :)
Whatever your reason, I'm glad you've made it.
It's a universal truth that successful people tend to practice a set of habits that
separates them from everyone else. Whether it be CEOs, fitness models, or
simply incredibly productive individuals, they seem to have it made. Onlookers
attempt to myopically study every little thing they do and, much of the time,
they can't measure up. Why is that?
This is why: there are some fundamental commandments that must be adhered
to. Besides the fine details of what to eat, how much, and when - apart from
the training programming minutiae and calorie counting (or not) and fist
bumping - there are certain behaviors and mindsets that must be implemented
in order to effect positive change.
The good news is that they're not kept secret. There's no Dead Poet Society for
the Lean & Fit where people rendezvous in the middle of the night and
whisper their stay-lean formulas by candlelight. There isn't even a special pill
that will solve all your problems (although fish oil comes pretty damn close).
All you have to do is stalk people to figure out what they do to get lean and
stay lean year-round while still having a life outside the gym aaand enjoying
their favorite foods on occasion. (And be happy.) You just have to follow them
around for about two weeks straight and you'll have your answer.
Or you could read this. Smarter or harder? You choose.
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com
1. Thou Shall Do Thy Own Thing. I'd be lying if I said I've never been guilty
of trying to emulate someone else because I admired the way she looked.
Specifically, when I first discovered weight lifting in early 2008, it was Jamie
Eason's physique that I became enamored with. I was especially fond of the
fact that she was 5'2", just like me, but waaaay sexier with all her muscles. I
wanted to know her exact fitness regimen: what she ate, how much, and at what
times; how much cardio she did and on what modality?!; what her training split
entailed, including her rest periods and how much weight she lifted. Because
obviously, if I did every little thing she's doing, then I would eventually acquire
her same physique. Was I right or was I right?
I was wrong.
Here's what I've learned since then: as big of a role that training and nutrition
plays a part in the way that you look, so too do individual preferences. Also
genetics. There were a number of reasons why, no matter what I did, I would
never have been able to bring myself to look anything like Ms. Eason herself.
My body doesn't respond to resistance training the way hers does, and eating
several small meals a day makes me miserable. I've come to realize that I will
have much more of a bikini body than a well-muscled figure competitor's
physique no matter what because my genetic limitations deem it so. There's a
certain limit to where and how much muscle I can slap on, and any lean mass
gains that I hustle to make will be painstakingly slow.
I also have piss poor ankle mobility, poor pulling (relative to pushing) strength,
and oddly strong quads.
This means that what works for Jamie Eason won't necessarily work for me.
Along the same lines, I can't promise that the regimen that I thrive on will be
similarly successful for you.
Be it food allergies, lifestyle choices, or discrepancies in Type II fibers, you
need to find what works for you.
2. Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Physique. (Or husband, but
that's kind of besides the point.)
I think that comparing yourself to others and wanting what they have does
nothing but harbor toxicity in your soul. This sets off negative, self-defeating
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com
thoughts, causing you to be more likely to fail in your own fitness goals. There's
a good amount of subconscious de-motivation that happens when you obsess
over other people's "perfect" bodies and nitpick over your muffin top and
cellulite thighs. There's not much good that can come out of it.
Does your girlfriend have amazingly sculpted legs? Does she have a strong
backside that can easily hip thrust 225lbs on any given day? That's nice, and
good for her. But how about we turn our attention to the fact that you can hit a
golf ball farther than anyone you know or that you dominate military presses
with your boulder shoulders?
I'm all for self-improvement, but first understand that you are wonderful just
the way that you already are at this very moment. Work to become a better
version of yourself. After all, who wants to be a shadow of somebody else?
3. Thou Shall Walk with Confidence. And I don't just mean in the gym. No
matter where you are or what you're doing, hold your head up high and own it.
It?
Everything. Be proud of your body and know that you have full control over
the decisions that you make today (and tomorrow, and the next and the next).
No one is going to force a scone down your throat - though I know it can be
tempting to sometimes pretend that you had no choice but to "reluctantly"
enjoy that dessert your coworker nonchalantly offered you. It's up to you
whether you're going to choose happy hour or the gym on a Wednesday
evening (how is that even a question?).
You will not be shaken when a fool at the gym asks you if you're really using the
squat rack and he's eyeing you up an down with a skeptical look because you're a
girl and you're wasting space. You'll smile to yourself as his jaw drops to the floor
when you warm up with his working weight. You won't doubt yourself when
someone asks if you're sure you want to be lifting weights because your 19-inch
thighs are looking big enough already (yes, that actually happened to me). At
the restaurant, you'll politely ask the waiter to hold the butter and the bread and
bring your salad with the dressing on the side please. And you won't let
yourself feel bad for being a hassle.
Be confident because you determine your destiny and you're the boss of your
own damn body. And who gives a shit what anyone else thinks of you?
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com
4. Thou Shall Not Make Fitness a God. Ohhh boy. I almost don't want to
know how many years of my life I lost with all the stress I put on myself
making fitness my first priority over absolutely everything. I'm well aware of
the friendships that I let dissolve and all the missed opportunities for laughter,
cherished memories, and inside jokes. I realize that I started countless fights
with my family over what restaurant to go to and whether we should even go
out to eat at all (my answer was always a resounding no).
It hurts my heart to think about it now because I know that none of that was
ever necessary. I let fitness become all-consuming, and I paid the price dearly
for that. And ironically, in my fanatical quest to become lean and strong and
physically healthy, I became very mentally unwell. I sought a sick sort of
comfort in spending my evenings scouring fitness forums for hours on end
when I could have been sitting out by a bonfire with my buddies. I snapped
when my brother came near my food, and I didn't let myself enjoy my family
vacation to Bali. Does the gym have a hotel? What kind of equipment does it have? Where
are we going to eat? I should pack all my own food. It sucked - all it sucked! - but I
didn't know any other way.
Fitness isn't the panacea to your problems, nor will it ever be. I do believe that
it should be an important part of everyone's lives, but by no means should it
take up the #1 spot. God, family, friends - those should all come before fitness.
There's so much more gratification that stems from those things.
Today my life is overflowing with love, and fitness is just a small part of that as it should be.
5. Thou Shall Celebrate Small Successes. Look, I'm all for setting largerthan-life goals and chasing after your wildest dreams. You want to become an
IFBB bikini pro, you want to land the cover of Oxygen, you want to win your
class at the Arnold Classic. You want to lose 50lbs and run a marathon in the
next year. You want to write for Bodybuilding.com (hehe) and be recognized as
one of the hottest bodies on your side of town.
Rah rah. I sincerely hope you accomplish all that you want in life plus more.
I also hope, however, that you recognize that slow progress, however small, is
still progress. That you don't beat yourself up because you "only" lost half a
pound of fat this week, or that you "only" made it to mile 3.6 today before you
had to call it quits when one month ago, you could barely jog around the
block.
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com
Every little bit counts. Two steps forward with one step backward may be
frustrating, but that's still a step forward. Lean doesn't happen overnight.
Ripped doesn't happen in a week. Did you opt for carrot sticks instead of
potato chips when you wanted a snack earlier today? Did you pack your lunch
instead of making a beeline for Panda Express like you used to? Did you a drop
a pants size, bringing you just a little bit closer to your goal of fitting in those
size 4 jeans from high school?
Give yourself some credit. You're better than you were yesterday, aren't you?
That oughta count for something.
6. Thou Shall Rest. If you're sick, this one is a no-brainer. You can barely get
out of the bed because you've been slammed with the flu and every fiber of
your body is aching. (On a related note, did you get your flu shot? I didn't.
D'oh.) As a rule of thumb, if the sickies are confined to below the nose, you
should be fine to exercise. If you've got an ear-splitting headache, nausea, or
anything equally terrible, I would stay home.
But even besides the obvious illnesses, your body needs to rest. More training
sessions at the gym - more minutes clocked under the bar - more sets and reps
- is not necessarily better. This includes adequate sleep, too. What many people
don't realize is that they're actually breaking down their muscle fibers when
they strength train; it's during the recovery period that their bodies build back
up and come back stronger.
Are you proud of the fact that you're already hitting the gym 6 times a week
after not exercising for years? Do you brag about running 10 miles every single
day, come hell or high waters? It's time to re-think your long-term strategy and
ask yourself if that's something that's really sustainable for you.
I currently exercise anywhere from 4 to 6 days a week and never go to the gym
more than once a day. If I'm not strength training, I'm doing a conditioning
workout, and if I'm doing neither, I'm at least going out for a brisk walk to
keep my body moving in some way, shape, or form. I also like to use my time
outside of the gym to devote myself to my other commitments, including
writing (hi!), taking care of my dog, and continuing my fitness education among
other things.
Rest up. Seriously. Your body will thank you.
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com
7. Thou Shall Be Consistent. Think about the current fitness program you're
on and ask yourself if it's something you can keep doing 5 years from now.
Maybe, maybe not. Okay, what about 1 year from now? Six months? Two
weeks?
I'm very strongly against the radical tons-of-cardio, carbs-are-terrible, slashALL-the-calories approach because it never ends well. Believe me, I've been
there - and I found myself in a very, very bad place. Aim to make one small
change to your current lifestyle at a time instead of diving headfirst into a
drastic life overhaul. Don't let yourself get carried away by your newfound
enthusiasm and sky-high motivation because I can guarantee you that it'll putter
out faster than you think.
Create a plan for yourself that, on paper, may look mild (and perhaps you'll feel
the urge to make it "harder"), but that you know for a fact that you can be
consistent with on a day-to-day basis. After all, the most perfect program in the
world will mean absolutely nothing if you are unable to follow it consistently.
8. Thou Shall Have Patience. As a follow-up to the above point, understand
that becoming fit and lean and strong takes time. I think many of us have been
brainwashed to believe that "only" 1lb of fat loss per week is painstakingly slow
and that we should be dropping upwards of 10lbs per week - because that's
what they do in The Biggest Loser, obviously!
But even so, there may be times when you go for longer than you'd like without
seeing a change in the mirror and when you don't get stronger on any of your
exercises in a week. It becomes tempting when these things happen to change
your program - add more cardio, switch to a new training split, or what have
you - because you're convinced that what you're currently doing is no longer
working. What you may not realize is that just a few more days and you would
have experienced a huge whoosh of fat loss, or perhaps all you needed to do
was to finally get a full night's rest to have a kickass training session.
Ignore that voice in your head screaming that you should be seeing faster
progress, that you should have reached your goal yesterday. You're likely still
learning how your body works, and just because your buddy is shedding fat
faster than you are doesn't necessarily mean that his program is better than
yours. Your body is simply different.
Think long-term. As long as you are consistent and patient, your time will
come.
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com
9. Thou Shall Forgive Thyself. This one's one of the hardest ones to master,
I think, as it requires a generous heaping of self-compassion.
Did you cave into the chocolate-covered almonds the other night? Do not try to
compensate the next day by consuming only protein and veggies and logging an
extra hour of running. Missed the gym for a week? Don't turn to three-a-days
to play "catch up." If you resort to any sort of compensatory behavior, you'll
wake up one morning and find yourself trapped in a cycle of oops-punishrepeat. This zaps the fun out of fitness and your mind will be filled with
negative thoughts. Even worse, you may catch yourself intentionally justifying
that imminent binge by vowing to "make up" for it over the next three days
through starvation and hours of cardio.
Cut it out.
Instead, pick yourself up off the ground, wipe the snot off your tear-stained
face, and maybe fix the mascara running down your cheek. The world's still
spinning and you're still alive. You're not a bad person for having messed up.
You know what you should do? Be kind to yourself. Brush the dirt off your
yoga pants and hop right back on the wagon - there's still a seat in the shape of
your butt waiting for you. Continue where you left off and don't look back.
Never forget that you are human and that you're expected to make mistakes.
The difference between a winner and a loser, however, is what you do in the
aftermath of the screw-up.
10. Thou Shall Surround Thyself with Awesome. You are way too special
and important to let your life be overshadowed and brought down by people
who drain your energy and bring you down. You have dreams, damn it, and
you should never let anyone stand in the way of them!
Countless studies have shown that the greatest predictor of success is not
family background. It's not money or education or pure dumb luck. It's your
support group - the people who you interact the most with and feel closest to.
If your so-called best friend is always baking you cupcakes "because she loves
you soooo much!" despite knowing that you're on a quest to get lean, bag that
friendship. If your boyfriend can't share your enthusiasm over the fact that you
got a PR in the gym today and he instead sneers that you should stop lifting
weights and take up "like, yoga or something girly," that boy's gotta go.
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www.soheefit.com
I've had to do a lot of revamping with my relationships over the past year or so
and it's paid off tremendously. Whereas before I would have people constantly
ask me, "Are you sure you want to do that?", I now have friends who willingly
go out of their way to lend a helping hand without my even having to ask. My
boyfriend is equally, if not more, pumped when I get another article published
on Bodybuilding.com and he doesn't laugh when I share my career dreams with
him. I'm motivated and inspired by the people closest to me and there's so
much about them that I respect and look up to. I do my best to spend my time
around them and keep them in my tight little circle of friends because I know
how awesome they are.
I advise you do the same, as being around positive influences can only beget
good things. Be around awesome. Bathe in it, bask in it, smear it all over your
face.
Then you have no choice but to be awesome yourself.
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com
That's it?
Yes, that's it. It really is this simple.
Do you see how big of a role your mindset plays in how your own story
unfolds? Fitness psychology is hugely important, and it's unfortunately ignored
by so many individuals aspiring to get into the best shape of their lives. Having
a training and nutrition program is better than nothing, of course, but what's
the point if you're not equipped with the mental tools to execute the plan? Why
bother if you're going to become obsessive, snappish, and unhappy along the
way?
Invest more time and energy into your psychological well-being than squatting
away under the Olympic bar. Take a step back and look at the big picture. Ask
yourself why you became interested in this journey in the first place. Was it to
lose your relationships or enhance them? Was it to gain confidence or lose selfrespect?
The answer should be obvious.
These are the 10 Commandments of Lean. Abide by these rules and you, too,
shall find yourself well on your way to success.
Yours in health,
Sohee Lee
SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC.
www.soheefit.com