WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE GODZILLA GORILLAS?
FADE IN:
EXT. BASKETBALL COURT- DAY
Darren Evans is shooting hoops.
DARREN (V.O.)
I’ve played basketball all my life.
It was more than just a sport to
me, it was like a religion. When I
started playing pro ball, I thought
I had it made.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. OFFICE- DAY
Vanessa Lowe sits at table.
VANESSA
I never knew why my father started
the Down Low Basketball League.
There was already the NBDL, ABA,
AABA, PBL, UBL, URBL…
THEO
I saw it as a great opportunity.
To own, manage and coach my own
team? Unbelievable. I jumped at
the chance.
VANESSA
…GPBL, GPBL2, WBL, LSBL, IBL,
USBL... Is that all of them?
NO SKILZ DONOVAN
I hadn’t been playing ball for
three years. But when someone asks
you to join a team called the
Godzilla Gorillas, how do you turn
that down?
INT. GYM DAY
Theo is yelling at Donovan
DONOVAN!
THEO
You call that a
pick?
THEO
The name was my idea.
What’s more
2.
awesome than a gorilla? Godzilla.
Put the two together- WHAM! Magic.
VANESSA
CBL, CBA, KBDL, EBA, NPBL, WCPBL.
The team is performing a tip drill- badly.
VANESSA
He took a lot of heat for naming it
the Down Low Basketball League.
They said he was really full of
himself. He loved basketball. But
he wasn’t very good at math.
THEO
The league had eight teams in
central Texas, from the Taylor
Pterodactyls to the Austin Arson.
It was an aggressive growth
strategy.
DONAVAN
Right away the DLBL couldn’t find
players. So they had to pull guys
from other leagues- even prison
leagues; Mad Dog was one of them,
but you won’t be able to get him to
talk about it.
Mad Dog just stares at the camera.
DONAVAN
The guy was kind of scary.
cuddly, too. Weird.
But
DARREN
It was like old school ABA with a
player/ coach and everything.
INT. GYM- DAY
On thee sideline, Theo puts his slacks on over his
shorts, puts his button down shirt on over his jersey,
etc.
DARREN (V.O.)
But he wouldn’t stay in uniform on
the sidelines. He’d change back
into his slacks and stuff when he
came off the floor.
THEO
It’s very important to have
professional appearance at all
times.
3.
Theo finishes dressing and looks up at the score.
THEO
How’d we get down by three?
CUT TO:
INT. GYM- DAY
Guys are chucking shots from half court.
THEO
The League was really on the
cutting edge- they wanted to do
things differently. Some of his
innovations worked- some didn’t.
DONOVAN
4 points for a half court shot.
must have shot three or four a
game.
I
SIX-O
I thought the 12 second shot clock
was a little extreme.
JEMMA
Combining cheerleaders and referees
sounds like a good idea, but you
can’t call a game in a pom pom
skirt.
DARREN
I liked them better when they wore
those pom pom skirts.
JEMMA
Not and have anyone take you
seriously.
DARREN
Although, I did miss a lot of
shots.
INT. GYM- DAY
The team shoots in a very unorganized fashion.
SIX-O
And those balls. They were awful.
THEO
I loved the balls. Red and blue,
what’s not to love?
4.
DARREN
Those balls were egg shaped. And
slick. I could not shoot those
things.
DONAVN
Man, Theo loved those balls.
THEO
Red and blue, you can see your
backspin- and the kids were nuts
for them, we were always selling
out of them.
You want one?
have 6,000 in
inheritance.
I going to do
I’m a potter,
VANESSA
I think we still
storage. That’s my
6,000 balls. What am
with 6,000 balls?
I don’t need balls.
DONOVAN
I never knew what Vanessa did.
VANESSA
It’s exactly what it sounds like.
Someone who pots.
DONOVAN
Except run the league into the
ground.
EXT. HOTEL- DAY
The team is leaving the motel.
THEO
But how did he smear it all over
the ceiling? He’s not even that
tall.
Six-O comes running up.
SIX-O
Donovan’s gone, Coach.
THEO
What?
Suddenly, water balloons rain down on them.
THEO
He’s having another one of his
episodes.
DARREN
Is that whiskey?
5.
DONOVAN
I was gone for three days in the
wilderness. I have no memory of
what happened but I’m got a tweety
bird tattoo on my butt and I’m
missing a two toenails.
INT. GYM- DAY
Theo is drawing up a ridiculous play on his little
chalkboard.
THEO
Now boys, don’t get caught watching
the paint dry!
JEMMA
Their coach meant well, but he just
wasn’t very good. It’s like he
learned to coach by watching old
basketball movies.
DARREN
This one time Coach was running
this promotion to let a fan coach
the team for the second quarter or
something. Like Nacho Night. Man,
I loved Nacho Night.
DONOVAN
And this little girl wins the
promotion. She’s like, I don’t
know, 10, 12, 14 years old maybe?
If they’re under 18 I don’t really
pay attention.
Tammy with the white board in the huddle.
TAMMY
And if you cut hard to the basket,
you’ll be wide open.
SIX-O
And she totally killed it.
Tammy on the sidelines yelling at the team.
DONOVAN!
TAMMY
Block somebody out!
TAMMY
They hired me as their coach after
that game. I set a record for the
youngest coach to ever coach a pro
men’s basketball team.
6.
THEO
It was a good PR move. I could
outcoach her if wanted to. But I
was wearing my Manager hat. Had to
manage. Sometimes you coach,
sometimes you manage.
DONOVAN
About halfway through the season,
we start to hear that the league
has money trouble.
DARREN
Word was Vincent Lowe was spending
the league’s money on a woman- a
fair minded woman if you know what
I mean. One that could really
‘call the game’ if you catch my
drift. Who would ‘referee his
heart.’ Do you get it now? Pretty
cool how I was all sneaky about it.
JEMMA
Why does everyone always say that?
It wasn’t me.
MAD DOG
It was her.
VANESSA
All I know is that one day, dad’s
gone and I’m in charge.
THEO
They had a funeral, but rumor has
it he fled to Canada. Regardless,
it was the day the league died.
TAMMY
I was almost glad to see it go. I
was having trouble finding time to
do my homework. Coaching those
knuckleheads is hard.
VANESSA
I kept the league going a couple
more weeks before the end.
THEO
It ended very abruptly. I kept
hoping that the league would come
back.
Mad Dog, Darren, Donovan and Six-O try to run a layup
drill; they do not have their jerseys.
THEO
They literally took the jerseys off
7.
our backs.
the bill.
The League never paid
TEXT
The league folded after playing half of the schedule.
The Hutto Hercules was awarded the trophy by account of
their 8- 3 record.
‘No Skilz’ Donovan has been missing for two weeks.
Jemma sold one of her pom pom skirts for $200,000 to a
mysterious bidder in Canada.
Tammy is attending the 6th grade, bossing boys her age.
Vanessa has since run two more of her father’s business
into the ground.
Darren plays pickup basketball at the men’s prison.
Theodor Addler has tried to place the Godzilla Gorillas
in one of the many other minor leagues, but has yet to
be successful.
DARREN
Dreams die hard. And I miss Nacho
Night.
FADE OUT.
THE END