MEN
AUDITION INFORMATION AND MONOLOGUES
THE SHOW
On a cold, clear moonless night in the middle of winter, all is not quite what it seems in the remote, mythical town of
Almost, Maine. As the northern lights hover in the star-filled sky above, Almost's residents find themselves falling in and
out of love in unexpected and often hilarious ways. Knees are bruised. Hearts are broken. Love is lost, found, and
confounded, in this delightful midwinter night's dream.
THE TIMELINE
November 21/22:
November 24:
November 25:
November 26:
November 27:
December 2:
December 3:
February 7 - 9:
Auditions
Call-Backs Posted Online (www.cchsdrama.org)
Call-Backs
Casting Envelopes in the Library (after 2:15pm)
Cast members email role acceptance to Mr. Bertucci
Cast members return signed contracts
First Cast Meeting / Rehearsals Begin
Performances
THE AUDITIONS
Auditions for Almost, Maine will be prepared monologues. Be prepared and be confident at your audition. I
want to see you do your best!
WHAT TO DO
 Get your parent’s signature, complete the audition application, and bring it with you to the audition.
Don’t forget it!
 Choose one of the monologues provided, memorize it, and prepare to perform it for the audition.
 On the day of the audition, go to the hallway that leads to the dressing rooms (beside the auditorium). A
sign will be posted to direct you. You will wait there until it is your turn to audition. Please be patient, and
quiet, and follow all of the stage manager’s directions. If you’d like to warm up, you may do so in the
auditorium lobby, but please be back in the hallway in time for your audition. You will audition in the
order you signed up.
 Each student auditioning should take about 2 minutes; you can estimate what time you’ll be finished by
your place on the sign-up sheet. Please plan to have a ride home when you are finished.
 A call-back list will be posted online (www.cchsdrama.org) on Sunday, November 24. Some students will
be called back to audition again. Call-backs will include cold readings from the script, and will be held
Monday, November 25, at 2:45pm.
 Everyone who auditions will receive an envelope to let them know whether they were cast. Remember
there may also be opportunities to work backstage. Envelopes will be available in the library after 2:15 on
Tuesday, November 26.
 Students who are cast and accept the role offered are expected to email Mr. Bertucci their acceptance on
Wednesday, November 27, and return their signed contract on Monday, December 2. They must also
attend the first rehearsal on Tuesday, December 3, and be prepared to rehearse beginning December 5.
Expect rehearsals from either 2:45 – 5:15pm or 6:00 – 8:30pm.
HOW TO PREPARE A MONOLOGUE
 Analyze your character.
Who is your character talking to? What does your
character want?
 Make specific choices about movement and line
delivery.
 Take your time.
 Allow no “empty” moments.
Go for your goal/objective with everything you
have.
WHAT IS THE DIRECTOR LOOKING FOR?
 belief in every word you say – sincerity
 the ability to take charge of the stage
 focus, energy
 line interpretation
 instincts about movement
 character development
 technique and range
 whether you are physically appropriate for a
character
 etc
WHAT TO DO WHEN IT’S YOUR TURN TO AUDITION
Below are some basic procedures you should follow:
 Walk to center stage with confidence.
 Make a short introduction that provides your name, and the number of the monologue you will be performing.
 Take a moment to get into character; then, begin your monologue.
 Choose a spot in the back of the theater as your focal point. Do not look directly at the director while
performing your monologue.
 When you complete your performance, thank the director and exit the stage.
 Direct all questions to the stage manager, before or after you enter the theater.
 RELAX and DO YOUR BEST!
SYNOPSIS
Almost, Maine is comprised of nine short plays, plus a prologue and epilogue. All are about relationships and love, and all include
quirky, surreal, surprise moments. The play is written for four actors (2 men and 2 women), playing multiple roles. Our production
will feature between 4 and 8 actors (2 - 4 men, 2 - 4 women). Even with a larger cast, actors will play multiple roles.
The Plays:
Prologue: Pete unintentionally puts distance between himself and his girlfriend, Ginette.
Her Heart: Glory, a hiker, makes camp on East’s lawn, to see the northern lights. East, a repairman, helps mend her broken heart.
Sad and Glad: Jimmy finds Sandrine, the ex-girlfriend he still has feelings for, before fate finds him a new beginning.
This Hurts: After meeting Marvalyn, Steve - who doesn’t feel pain - discovers that love hurts.
Getting It Back: Gayle wants Lendall to give all her love back. She returns his too - in several large bags.
They Fell: Chad and Randy can’t help but fall for each other - literally, on the ground.
Where It Went: Phil isn’t paying attention; he misses a shooting star, his anniversary - and the point his wife Marci is making.
Story of Hope: Hope answers Daniel’s proposal too late.
Seeing the Thing: Dave gets Rhonda to see love for the first time.
Epilogue: Pete and Ginette reunite.
CHARACTERS
MEN:
Pete, East, Jimmy, Steve, Lendall, Randy, Chad, Phil, Daniel, Dave
WOMEN:
Ginette, Glory, Sandrine, Waitress, Marvalyn, Gayle, Marci, Hope, Rhonda
MEN’S MONOLOGUES
If This Isn’t Love, by Jonathan Bernstein
HANK: Hi uh Katie? . . . Katie hi I’m Hank Matthews we met the other night at Jerry’s party? . . . Hi. I – How are you how
are things? . . . Good. Good. It’s nice here I’ve never been here. OK – I’m just going to – Katie, I asked Jerry to
tell me where you work and I’m not here following you in a scary way or anything, I just I have a question for you
but first what I want to say is that since we met, Katie, since we met I can’t get you out of my mind. I literally –
you’re stuck there – and meeting you the other night made me think that you and I have a lot of things in
common to talk about and I know this is forward of me but I’d like to start talking with you about these things as
soon as possible. So is there even the slightest fraction of an outside chance that you would ever consent to
share eating dinner with me? – that’s my question, because there’s no way I could ever think of a way that I’d
rather have dinner than with you. . . . “Sure” meaning yes you will? Are you sure? You don’t have to . . . .
Promedy, by Wade Bradford
DANTE: Kay, I know that you're one of the most popular girls in school, and that you scarcely know how to pronounce
my name, or use proper grammar. But I've had a crush on you since the days when you would ignore me in
kindergarten all the way to this afternoon when you ignored me in the cafeteria lunch line. Some might say ours
is a misunderstood romance. I remember in second grade, I wrote you a note in Mrs. Souplanger's class. It said,
"Do you like me? circle yes or no." My friends said you tore up the note in disgust. But I knew you were ripping
up confetti to celebrate our newfound love. I know that you have been pretending to ignore me all these years
because secretly, deep down, you know that you like me as much as I like you, probably even more. Well, you
don't have to be scared and shy any more. I'm going to make both of our wishes come true. Will you go to the
prom with me?
(Dante reacts to her rejection.)
Should I take the rolling of your eyes as a "yes"?
Promedy, by Wade Bradford
DANTE: Think about it. Prom is evil, in every shape and form. We should be spending our last year of high school
studying for college or preparing ourselves for the turbulence of the adult world. Instead, we shroud ourselves
in rental tuxedos and sequined gowns. Every summer and weekend we’ve been bagging groceries or hustling
French fries and do we invest that hard earned money? No, we fritter it away on one special night when we
blow all our cash on a limo driver, an ugly corsage, and an overpriced photo featuring a hairstyle you’ll be
ashamed of five years from now. We behave as if the institution of the Prom is the quintessential experience of
our teenage years, when in truth it is an evening of bad songs, buffalo wings, and an unspoken dissatisfaction.
Generations have tried to hide their disappointment while they awkwardly dance. Whether it has been the fox
trot, the jitterbug, the twist, or the funky chicken, the dance has always been the same. But the music is over,
people. Which is why I’m calling a vote to put the Prom out of its misery. Now who's with me?!
Tomorrow's Wish by Wade Bradford
DAVID: Debbie, I want you back. You are the light in my life and I was a fool to let that glow fade away from me. Please
forgive me. No -- this isn't a joke. I've been doing a lot of thinking in the past few minutes. And I've come to
realize that my life is incomplete without you. I'd like you to have this. It's a ring. Well, actually it’s a piece of a
socket wrench, but it’s a symbol of my love for you. I don't want to work on cars anymore. I want to work on
our marriage. And I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. Debbie, I... I've missed you. I miss the way you take
three scoops of ice cream, stick them in a bowl and put it in the microwave to get it all melty and drink it with a
straw. And I miss the way that you and I used to look at each other when we'd wake up from a nap. And maybe
most of all, I miss that little wrinkle in between your eyes, right above the ridge of your nose, that crinkled
expression you'd give me whenever you got angry. The one you're making right now!
The Roommates by Wade Bradford
BEN: (All alone, practicing what he will say to his roommates.) Hey guys. Hi. We need to talk. If it’s a good time. You
guys are moving out by the end of the month. The reasons are self-evident. (He closes his eyes and imagines
the impact. He winces.) I need you guys to move out. It's time. I need… I want… I want you guys to know that it
has been great living with you. But now I need my own space. But now, we need our own space. Molly and I
need… want… feel… prefer. Molly thinks… No, not Molly. I think. You see, when you get married... Two people
don't live with other people when they are married. Unless it's their own children. Look. Guys. You have been
driving me crazy for the last fifteen years!!! (Closes his eyes. Winces.) Oh, don't cry. I didn't. Look. I want,
need, demand, proclaim, ordain, decree - I like that - I have decreed that the time has come. Yes, the time has
finally come. (Pulls hair.) I can't do it. I just can't. (Clears throat. Concentrates.) Molly, how would you feel
about living with two extra guys?
Laughter on the 23rd Floor by Neil Simon
MILT: (Milt is a writer on the Max Prince comedy show. He’s wearing a beret.) You like the hat? I know, I know, what
do I know about berets? And I look like a putz in this. So why would I wear it? Because people notice it. Look at
me without a beret. (He takes it off.) Invisible, right? A nothing. Who is he? But watch. (He puts beret back on.)
Now I'm someone. A diplomat. A traveler. Maybe I know Ernest Hemingway. I go to French movies, laugh at
the jokes - don’t understand a word they’re saying – but people come over on the way out. “You like the
picture?” “Eh, comme ci, comme ca.” I don’t even understand that, but I get attention. I’m unique, right? What
am I, good looking? No. Am I smart? Eh. Am I funny? Yes. But compared to the comic minds in this room, I'm
Herbert Hoover's kitchen help ... So I wear yellow suede shoes on Christmas and a cowboy hat on Yom Kippur.
And when I walk in here, Max Prince laughs. And if Max Prince laughs, my kids eat this week.
Laughter on the 23rd Floor by Neil Simon
IRA:
(Holds his chest.) I can't breathe. I can't catch my breath. I think it's a heart- attack. It could be a stroke. Don't
panic, just do what I tell you. (He talks breathlessly.) Call Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. Ask for Dr. Milton
Bruckman. Tell him I got a sharp stabbing pain down my left arm across my chest, down my back into my left
leg. If he's in surgery, call Dr. Frank Banzerini at St. John's Hospital, sixth floor, Cardiology. Tell him I suddenly
got this burning sensation in my stomach. At first I thought it was breakfast, I had smoked salmon. It was still
smoking. It didn't feel right going down. If his line is busy, call the Clayton and Marcus Pharmacy on 72nd and
Madison. Ask for Al. Tell him I need a refill on my prescription from Dr. Schneider. I can't remember the drug.
Zodioprotozoc. No. Vasco something. Vasco da Dama, what was it? I can’t get air to my brain ... This scarf is
choking me, get it off my neck. (He pulls it off, throws it away. NO ONE has moved. They've all been through this
before.) Don't call my wife, no, maybe you should call her. But don't tell her it's a stroke. If she thinks it's a
stroke, she'll call my mother. I have no time to talk to my mother, she drives me crazy. (He begins to
hyperventilate and wheeze, looking to the others who just stare) This could be it, I swear to God. (He still
wheezes, then looks at everyone.) Why are you just sitting there? What are you waiting for? You think this is a
joke? You think this is funny? You think I would walk in here with a pain so bad … I … wait a minute! (He holds
his chest.) Wait a-minute! ... Hold it! Wait a minute! (He doesn’t move.) Ohhh. OHHH ... It was just gas! Thank
God! I thought it was all over for me. Whew.