MURPHY’S LAWS AND OTHERS
Murphy's First Law:
Murphy's Second Law:
Murphy's Third Law:
Murphy's Fourth Law:
Murphy's Fifth Law:
Murphy's Sixth Law:
Murphy's Seventh Law:
Farnsdick's Corollary:
Quantized Revision of
Murphy's Law:
O'Toole's Commentary
on Murphy's Law:
Murphy's Law of
Research:
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause
the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go
wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly
develop.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy was an optimist.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Some laws for team work:
- In any human endeavour, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one
solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.
- Things get worse under pressure.
- In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
- The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.
For those who prefer the military approach in contingency situations, please find below some of Murphy’s
military laws:
- No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
- The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
- The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
- If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
- There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
And finally Murphy's Computer Laws:
Law 1
The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the
deadline approaches.
Law 2
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Law 3
It's morally wrong to allow naive end users to keep their money.
Law 4
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Law 5
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Law 6
The higher the "higher-ups" are who've come to see your demo, the lower
your chances are of giving a successful one.
Law 7
Every task takes twice as long as you think it will take. If you double the time
you think it will take, it will actually take four times as long.
Law 8
There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabelled and should
read "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE".
Law 9
A bad sector disk error occurs only after you've done several hours of work
without performing a backup.
Law 10
No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine
it.
Law 11
To study an application best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
Law 12
Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.
Law 13
Always draw your curves, then plot the reading.
Law 14
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
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Law 25
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Law 28
Law 29
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Law 53
Law 54
Program results should always be reproducible. They should all fail in the
same way.
Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.
Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be
disappointed.
At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at
least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors,
which by definition are limited.
Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of
errors or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.
The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of
statements understood by the general public.
Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every
passing moment.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Any give program, when running, is obsolete.
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer
who must maintain it.
Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will
find that programmers cannot write in English.
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.
A program generator creates programes that are more buggy than the
program generator.
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause
the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Things get worse under pressure.
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the
last ten percent take the other ninety percent.
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he
can blame it on.
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Variables won't, constants aren't.
Murphy was an optimist.
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling
to be free.
Judgement comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgement.
It works better if you plug it in.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
Give any problem containing N equations, there will N+1 unknowns.
An object or bit of information most needed will be least available.
Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.
Interchangeable devices won't.
In any human endeavour, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail,
there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.
Badness comes in waves.
After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's
commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new
command structure.
After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar bug in the system,
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Law 55
Law 56
Law 57
Law 58
Law 59
Law 60
the system is revised, the bug is taken away, and you're left with a useless
routine.
Efforts in improving a program's "user friendliness" invariably lead to work in
improving user's "computer literacy".
That's not a bug, that's a feature!
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the
grand fallacy.
If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first
woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger
can.
As soon as a still-to-be-finished computer task becomes a life-or-death
situation, the power fails.
Some other laws and more:
Peer's Law:
The solution to the problem changes the problem.
Sevareid's Law:
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Segal's Law:
A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never
sure.
(Douglas) Hofstadter's
Any computer project will take twice as long as you think it will even when
Law:
you take into account Hofstadter's law.
Finagle's First Law:
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
The Airplane Law:
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on
time.
Sattinger's Law:
It works better if you plug it in.
Lowery's Law:
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Schmidt's Law:
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
Anthony's Law of Force:
Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.
Non-Reciprocal Law of
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Expectations:
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Lewis' Law:
No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will
be on sale somewhere cheaper.
Lubarsky's Law of
There's always one more bug.
Cybernetic Entomology:
Maier's Law:
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Knight's Law:
Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
Benchley's Law of
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two
Distinction:
kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Harver's Law:
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Zymurgy's Law of
People are always available for work in the past tense.
Volunteer Labour:
Clarke's First Law:
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible,
he is almost certainly right.
When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
Weinberg's Second Law:
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first
woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
Wyszowski's Law:
No experiment is reproducible.
Gold's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Woltman's Law:
Never program and drink beer at the same time.
Allen's Law:
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Berra's Law:
You can observe a lot just by watching.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal 1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
Dynamics:
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
The Unspeakable Law:
As soon as you mention something; If it is good, it goes away. If it is bad, it
happens.
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De la Lastra's Law:
The First Law of Wing
Walking:
Law of Revelation:
Langsam's Law:
Witten's Law:
Stewart's Law of
Retroaction:
MacDonald's Second
Law:
Agnes' Law:
The Ultimate Law:
Cahn's Axiom:
Allen's Axiom:
Cole's Axiom:
Sueker's Note:
Manly's Maxim:
Cannon's Comment:
Etorre's Observation:
Lyall's Fundamental
Observation:
Klipstein's Observation:
Horngren's Observation
(generalised):
First Postulate of
Isomurphism:
Perkin's Postulate:
Gerrold's Fundamental
Truth:
Shaw's Principle:
Rule of Accuracy:
The Whispered Rule:
Jone's Motto:
Blackadder, Series II
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access
cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
Never let hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
Everything depends.
Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and give it
back to them.
Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
All general statements are false.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all else fails, follow instructions.
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is
growing.
If you need n items of anything, you will have n - 1 in stock.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with
confidence.
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next
morning you will have a flat tire.
The other line moves faster.
The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing.
Any product cut to length will be too short.
The real world is a special case.
Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
It's a good thing money can't buy happiness. We couldn't stand the
commercials.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know
the answer.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
"Life without you would be like a broken pencil."
"How's that?"
"Completely pointless."
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in
trouble again.
Don't get mad, get even
To err is human, but to really fool things up requires a computer
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.
Design flaws travel in groups.
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