2011
AADPP 3 Operations
Unified Land Operations (Abridged)
Ramming
Speed!!!
Combined Holistic Arms School of
advanced Maneuver (CHASaM)
Warning: This is an official Army Automatic Data Processing
publication (AADPP). If you are not an official or a PLA cyber
hacker, please contact doctrineman@secretsquirrel.com to
receive access to the stimulating and provocative inside story of
this publication as well as interviews in an interactive multi1
media instructional extravaganza!
Army Semi-Amphibious and Water Landing
Training Center
Fort Leavenworth, Kansas 66027
Attention CHASaM Students!!
This is a blank page except for this warning.
For page fixation lasting more than 4 hours, contact a Tri-Care health
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AADPP 3-0 (Abridged)
Table of Contents
Introduction……………………………………………………………4
Basic Stuff ……………………………………………………………..5
Not So Basic Stuff ……………………………………………………..7
Advanced Stuff ………………………………………………………..7
Glossary… ….………………………………………………………..9
Back Cover……………………………………At the back of the book
Introduction
Because the bad people decoded the earlier version, we had to immolate the
“Red Team” and come up with all new rules. So we all worked really, really
hard to come up with something that would mix up the bad people and put
the not so bad people to sleep. That’s why we had to write this in secret and
print it with invisible ink that you can only see with your decoder lenses.
Don’t let any bad people read this.
Quo Docimus Est
By Proclamation
The XXXXVIIth
Imperator & Soldier in Chief
Basic Stuff
1. The world is still full of bad people, even after 10 years of whacking. This is because
we haven’t been mean enough. That’s why we’re going to stop being so careful. We
only need to know how to do two things – Wide Area Wandering and Whacking
(WAW2) and Combined Arms Whacking (CAW).
2. Wide Area Wandering and Whacking (WAW2) is whacking over wide areas.
This means that we send Soldiers out and about in small tour groups to see what’s going
on and impress the not-so-bad people. Mostly this means showing them that we can wear
100 lbs of armor and ammo and still look cool. Now that we have camouflaged
uniforms that actually blend in, we need to work extra hard to stand out where the news
people can see us, otherwise, the Marines will be in all the pictures. Sometimes the bad
people wander out and pick on us. This lets us whack them in small groups. Usually
when the bad people start getting whacked, they call other bad people to come and help
them. Then everybody gets really mad and if we make too much noise, the Air Force
shows up with all their super-weapons and wants to whack everybody at once. That’s
when the not so bad people get miffed and tell us we should leave because we don’t look
so cool anymore. Unfortunately, their guys don’t look so cool because they still have to
wear berets that stick out in all directions and crummy camouflage suits that don’t fit.
Figure 1: Wide Area Wandering and Whacking
2. Combined Arms Whacking (CAW) is combining stuff to whack bad people. This
is when the bad guys don’t get the message that they should leave and we get to use the
big stuff that we got when Congress had extra money left over from the Air Force and
Navy super weapons. CAW is hard because we have to try and whack bad people at the
same time as the Navy and Air Force are trying to whack them. This gets really hard
sometimes because the Marines show up and want to do some whacking too. Marines are
like the mean little runt pit bull that runs around biting people. When he gets excited he
tries to bite everybody. Usually CAW makes lots of dust and noise and everybody runs
around screaming at each other and trying to be the first one that gets to whack the bad
people. A lot of times the bad people sneak out in all the smoke and noise. Sometimes
the bad people are in a big gang and want to chase us off. We have to be really careful
then, because if the bad people even get ahead on points for a little while then the
generals get really excited and start investigating stuff and making us hang around while
they check everything. This is like “CSI” for us but it’s like ENDEX for the bad people
because they disappear for the weekend. If we screw it up too much then the Pentagon
guys come down and take away our really expensive toys.
Figure 2: Combined Arms Whacking
3. Sometimes the “other government agencies” (OGA) trick us into helping them. The
OGA guys don’t like whacking much. Unfortunately they go to all the Washington
cocktail parties that Soldiers don’t get to crash. Even though we really want to raid the
Air Force budget for their money to pay for really expensive super-stuff, like ground
combat vehicles, the OGA people are cunning. They promise us goodies and get us to
listen to them tell us how to do things without much whacking. Then we get told to go
around and be nice to the not-so bad people. That’s why we need to do CAW and
WAW2. This is hard, because you have to use lots of big words and complicated
acronyms to fool the OGA people into thinking we are being nice. This is called “Totally
Unified Operations Preparations.” (TUOPS) Young officers need to get “hardened” by
sitting through a couple of CUBs (Commander’s Ultimate Briefing) before they do
TUOPS with the OGA people. That way they learn how to fall off their chairs without
hurting themselves after they fall asleep.
4. When we do CAW and WAW2 together it becomes Combined Arms Wandering and
Whacking in Wider and Wider Areas. CAW2aIW2A is sometimes called “full spectrum
operations”, but that’s just to keep the OGA and Air Force people from thinking we have
stopped being nice to the not-so-bad-people. Just make sure you use lots of full spectrum
words when you have to talk to them because it covers all the bases.
Not So Basic Stuff
5. The bad people use computers, too. That’s why we have invented “cyber-electronic”
as a cool term. That way the bad people know that we know that their computers use
electricity and do cyber stuff. Sometimes generals and colonels squabble about who gets
to “manage” the cyber stuff. Don’t worry about this. They just want the Army to upgrade
their crack-berries. If the bad people start messing with cyber stuff to interrupt our high
speed apps, then we just get the Air Force to start zapping people with electro-magnetic
pulses (EMP) or whatever they call it. Sometimes they whack the not so bad cyber
people by accident, but they like it better that flying around for hours till their backsides
ache. Then the not-so-bad people get wound up because they can’t play fantasy-soccer
and on-line gambling. The big thing is to learn techno-speak words so the Air Force
geeks think you know what you are doing. Also we have to be careful to give them the
right address so they don’t whack the Ukrainian Embassy in the middle of some state
dinner.
6. Sometimes the bad people and Soldiers get all tangled up and start whacking each
other. Usually the Soldiers whack lots of the bad people, but sometimes the bad people
get some of ours. This makes the Soldiers and Marines really mad and then they want to
go out to CAW all over the bad guys. This is called “exploitation”, and “retaining the
initiative”. When this happens, we need to be really careful because otherwise we can’t
investigate what happened the first time, and then everybody gets all mixed up about who
whacked who. Then we have to explain to all the Soldiers and Marines why it’s more
important to investigate instead of CAWing the bad guys. Most of the time, the bad
people sneak out when it gets really smoky, so there’s no need to rush.
Really Advanced Stuff – CHASaM Students Only
7. The Army has a lot of processes that it is still trying to figure out. That’s why you
have to learn the really secret stuff at CHASaM school. You get to learn about
“DESIGN” and other cool ways to stay close to all the generals. When you go to
CHASaM they let you in on all this stuff, like joining a fraternity with secret initiations.
Afterward you become an operational artist. This is when you have to be super careful.
Otherwise you might try to apply DESIGN to real world hard problems like wars and
doctrine and stuff. This is like Harry Potter trying to do magic stuff before he graduates
from Hogwarts.
CHASaM BUB.WMV
Really secret BUB interactive video cyber book
(double-click to watch excerpts from a CUB!)
8. One of the most important things we do in design is the “mission command” stuff.
Mission command is really just being told to do something, and if we don’t the really
important generals get all torqued off. But if we kept it too simple the bad people might
figure us out. Even worse, all the not-so-important generals get mad because they don’t
have anything to do. This could be bad. Using mission command, we find live streaming
video for everybody to watch.
The End (this means you don’t need to read any more)
Glossary
(This tells you what the big words mean)
Bad People: People that need whacking.
Battle Command: What we used to call mission command.
Battle Update Brief (BUB): Practice session for the CUB; see below
Commander’s Ultimate Brief (CUB): The single most important event in the
operations process. Basically everything we do is to make the CUB dazzling. The
purpose of the CUB is to figure out how to unify land operations.
Combined Arms: Using all of your combat power at once and surviving it.
Cyber-electromagnetic Combined Arms Full Spectrum Security in Wider Areas:
When too many people participate in the CUB.
Design: Incantations used before presenting a plan to the commander.
Exploitation: What we get to do to the bad people when they mess up.
Full Spectrum Operations: Obsolete term for CAW and WAW, but soothing for the
other agency guys.
Ground Combat Vehicle: Army super weapon that
lets Soldiers participate in their CUB even when they
are whacking bad people.
→→→
Marine: Feisty camouflaged pit bull that trots around
trying to bite bad people, not so bad people, and
sailors.
Mission Command: What we used to call “command and control” and “battle
command”. Joint definition: Ordering somebody to do a mission.
Not so bad people: Anybody in the area of operations that is not a bad person or a
Soldier. Often includes Marines.
Other Government Agencies: The “have-nots” who never get any really expensive
super weapons. This may be like one of those psychological things.
Operational Art: Getting the Air Force or Navy to deal with the bad people before
Soldiers have to.
Tactical Art: Getting the Marines to do something you don’t want to by promising them
a photo-op.
Soldier: Individual speaking in expletives and wearing cool-looking digital camouflage
that blends in with scenery in all the places those tourists never go and visit.
Unified Land Operations: Also called Shangri La; Land that Time Forgot; Journey to
the Center of the Earth; or Quantum Mechanics. See CUB, above
Back Cover
This means it is the last page and doesn’t say anything