Happiness Class 5
Optimism about the Future
Last time – talked about ways you can work with your past,
so that you have more potential life to flourish in the present.
1. look for the positive emotions that you feel about the past.
use your intellect to let go of an ideology that your past determines your future
2. voluntarily change your memories
3. Increase your gratitude about the good things in your past
4. Learn how to forgive past wrongs.
Lots of handouts – “homework” – two weeks ago; I hope you’ve had a chance to engage
Today:
Positive emotions about the future
faith, trust, confidence, hope, optimism
10 minute test – measure your optimism
no right or wrong answers
take home or go online – authentichappiness.org
Test Your Own Optimism
Read the description of each situation and vividly imagine it happening to you. Perhaps
neither response will seem to fit; go ahead anyway and circle either A or B, choosing the
cause that is more likely to apply to you. You may not like the way some of the responses
sound, but don’t choose what you think you should say or what would sound right to other
people; choose the response you’d be more likely to have.
Circle only one response for each question. Ignore the three-letter codes (PmB, PvG…)
1. You and your spouse (boyfriend/girlfriend) make up after a fight.
PmG
A. I forgave him/her.
B. I’m usually forgiving.
0
1
2. You forget your spouse’s (boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s) birthday.
PmB
A. I’m not good at remembering birthdays.
B. I was preoccupied with other things.
1
0
3. You get a flower from a secret admirer.
PvG
A. I am attractive to him/her.
B. I am a popular person.
0
1
4. You run for a community office position and you win.
PvG
A. I devoted a lot of time and energy to campaigning.
B. I work very hard at everything I do.
0
1
5. You miss an important engagement.
PvB
A. Sometimes my memory fails me.
B. Sometimes I forget to check my appointment book.
1
0
6. You host a successful dinner.
PmG
A. I was particularly charming that night.
B. I am a good host.
0
1
7. You owe the library ten dollars for an overdue book.
PmB
A. When I am really involved in what I am reading, I often forget when it’s due.
1
B. I was so involved in writing the report that I forgot to return the book.
8. Your stocks make you a lot of money.
PmG
A. My broker decided to take a chance on something new.
B. My broker is a top-notch investor.
0
0
1
9. You win an athletic contest.
PmG
A. I was feeling unbeatable.
B. I train hard.
0
1
10. You fail an important examination.
PvB
A. I wasn’t as smart as the other people taking the exam.
B. I didn’t prepare for it well.
1
0
11. You prepared a special meal for a friend, and he/she barely touched the food.
PvB
A. I’m not a good cook
1
B. I made the meal in a rush.
0
12. You lose a sporting event for which you have been training for a long time.
PvB
A. I’m not very athletic.
B. I’m not very good at that sport.
1
0
13. You lose your temper with a friend.
PmB
A. He/she is always nagging me.
B. He/she was in a hostile mood.
1
0
14. You are penalized for not returning your income tax forms on time.
PmB
A. I always put off doing my taxes.
B. I was lazy about getting my taxes done this year.
1
0
15. You ask a person out on a date, and he/she says no.
PvB
A. I was a wreck that day.
B. I got tongue-tied when I asked him/her on the date.
1
0
16. You are frequently asked to dance at a party.
PmG
A. I am outgoing at parties.
1
B I was in perfect form that night.
17. You do exceptionally well in a job interview.
PmG
A. I felt extremely confident during the interview.
B. I interview well.
0
0
1
18. Your boss gives you too little time in which to finish a project, but you get it finished anyway.
PvG
A. I am good at my job.
B. I am an efficient person.
0
1
19. You’ve been feeling run down lately.
PmB
A. I never get a chance to relax.
B. I was exceptionally busy this week.
1
0
20. You save a person from choking to death.
PvG
A. I know a technique to stop someone from choking.
B. I know what to do in crisis situations.
0
1
21. Your romantic partner wants to cool things off for a while.
PvB
A. I am too self-centered.
B. I don’t spend enough time with him/her.
1
0
22. A friend says something that hurts your feelings.
PmB
A. He/she always blurts things out without thinking of others.
B. My friend was in a bad mood and took it out on me.
1
0
23. Your employer comes to you for advice.
PvG
A. I am an expert in the area about which I was asked.
B. I am good at giving useful advice.
0
1
24. A friend thanks you for helping him/her get through a bad time.
PvG
A. I enjoy helping him/her through tough times.
B. I care about people.
0
1
25. Your doctor tells you that you are in good physical shape.
PvG
A. I make sure I exercise frequently.
0
B. I am very health conscious.
1
26. Your spouse (boyfriend/girlfriend) takes you away for a romantic weekend.
PmG
A. He/she needed to get away for a few days.
B. He/she likes to explore new areas.
0
1
27. You are asked to head an important project.
PmG
A. I just successfully completed a similar project.
B. I am a good supervisor.
0
1
28. You fall down a great deal while skiing.
PmB
A. Skiing is difficult.
B. The trails were icy.
1
0
29. You win a prestigious award.
PvG
A. I solved and important problem.
B. I was the best employee.
0
1
30. Your stocks are at an all-time low.
PvB
A. I didn’t know much about the business climate at the time.
B. I made a poor choice of stocks.
1
0
31. You gain weight over the holidays, and you can’t lose it.
PmB
A. Diets don’t work in the long run.
B. The diet I tried didn’t work.
1
0
32. They won’t honor your credit card at a store.
PvB
A. I sometimes overestimate how much money I have.
B. I sometimes forget to pay my credit card bill.
1
0
Score your test yourself as laid out in the following two sections will explain the two basic
dimensions of optimism.
Scoring Key
Pmb____ PmG____
PvB____ PvG____
HoB____ HoG____
HoG minus HoB = ____
Permanence
People who give up easily believe the causes of the bad events that happen to them are
permanent – the bad events will persist, are always going to be there to affect their lives.
People who resist helplessness believe the causes of bad events are temporary.
Look at the eight items marked PmB (which stands for Permanent Bad), the questions
numbered 2, 7, 13, 14, 19, 22, 28, and 31. These tested how permanent you tend to think
the causes of bad events are. Each one marked with a 0 after it is optimistic; each one
followed by a 1 is pessimistic.
Total the numbers in the right-hand margin. Write your total in the scoring box marked
PmB Total. If you totaled 0 or 1, you are very optimistic on this dimension; 2 or 3,
moderately optimistic; 4, average; 5 or 6, quite pessimistic; and if you got a 7 or 8, you are
very pessimistic.
Optimistic people explain good events to themselves in terms of permanent causes such
at traits and abilities. Pessimists name transient causes, such as moods and effort. Half
of the questions on the test were about good events. Score those marked PmG
(Permanent Good); they are the ones numbered 1, 6, 8, 9, 16, 17, 26, 27. The ones with a 1
following them are the permanent, optimistic answers. Total the numbers on the righthand side, and write the total on the line in the scoring key marked PmG. If your total is
7 or 8, you are very optimistic about the likelihood of good events continuing; 6,
moderately optimistic; 4 or 5, average; 3, moderately pessimistic; and 0, 1, 0r 2, very
pessimistic.
Pervasiveness: Specific verses Universal
Permanence is about time. Pervasiveness is about space.
Some people can put their troubles neatly into a box and go about their lives even when
one important aspect of it – their job, for example, or their love life – is crumbling.
Others let one problem bleed all over everything.
People who make universal explanations for their failures give up on everything when a
failure strikes in one area. People who make specific explanations may become helpless
in that one part of their lives, yet march stalwartly on in the others.
Do you catastrophize? The questions marked PvB (Pervasiveness Bad) are numbered 5,
10, 11, 12, 15, 21, 30, and 32. For these questions, total the numbers at the right-hand
margin and write the total on the line marked PvB. Scores of 0 and 1 are very optimistic; 2
and 3, moderately so; 4, average; 5 or 6, moderately pessimistic; and 7 or 9, very
pessimistic.
The optimist believes good events will enhance everything he does, which the pessimist
believes good events are caused by specific factors. Score your optimism for the
pervasiveness of good events. The items marked PvG are numbered 3, 4, 18, 20, 23, 24, 25,
and 29. Each item followed by a 0 is pessimistic (specific). Each item followed by at 1 is
optimistic (universal). Using the numbers at the right, total your score for these
questions and write it on the line labeled PvG. A score of 7 or 8 is very optimistic; 6,
moderately optimistic; 4 or 5, average; 3, moderately pessimistic; and 0, 1, or 2, very
pessimistic.
The Stuff of Hope
Whether or not we hope depends on two dimensions taken together. Finding permanent
and universal causes of good events along with temporary and specific causes for
misfortune – that is the art of hope. Finding permanent and universal causes for
misfortune and temporary and specific causes of good events is the practice of despair.
Perhaps the most important scores from your text are your Hope (HoB and HoG) scores.
For HoB, take your total for PvB and add it to your total for PmB. For HoG, take you PvG
score and add it to your PmG score. Now subtract your HoB score from your HoG score.
If it totals 10 to 16, you are extraordinarily hopeful; from 6 to 9, moderately hopeful; form
1 to 5, average; from minus 5 to 0, moderately hopeless; and below minus 5, severely
hopeless.
People who make permanent and universal explanations for good events, as well as
temporary and specific explanations for bad events, bounce back from troubles briskly
and get on a roll easily when they succeed once. People who make temporary and
specific explanations for success, and permanent and universal explanations for setbacks,
tend to collapse under pressure – both for a long time and across situations – and rarely
get on a roll.
Optimism: Two crucial dimensions
Permanence and Pervasiveness
Permanence
People who give up easily believe the causes of the bad events that happen to them are
permanent – the bad events will persist, are always going to be there to affect their lives.
People who resist helplessness believe the causes of bad events are temporary.
Permanent (Pessimistic)
“I’m all washed up”
“Diets never work.”
“You always nag.”
“The boss is a bastard.”
“You never talk to me.”
Temporary (Optimistic)
“I’m exhausted”
“Diets don’t work when you eat out.”
“You nag when I don’t clean my room”
“The boss is in a bad mood.”
“You haven’t talked to me lately.”
When we fail, we all become at least momentarily hopeless – like a punch in the stomach
it hurts, but the hurt goes away
but for some, the hurt lasts; it congeals into a grudge
Optimistic style for good events is just the opposite of the optimistic style for bad events.
People who believe good events have permanent causes are more optimistic than those
who believe they have temporary causes.
Temporary (Pessimism)
“My lucky day.”
“I try hard.”
“My rival got tired.”
Permanent (Optimism)
“I’m always lucky.”
“I’m talented.”
“My rival is no good.”
Optimistic people explain good events to themselves in terms of permanent causes such
at traits and abilities. Pessimists name transient causes, such as moods and effort.
Pervasiveness: Specific verses Universal
(example – p. 90)
Some people can put their troubles neatly into a box and go about their lives even when
one important aspect of it – their job, for example, or their love life – is crumbling.
Others let one problem bleed all over everything.
People who make universal explanations for their failures give up on everything when a
failure strikes in one area. People who make specific explanations may become helpless
in that one part of their lives, yet march stalwartly on in the others.
“All teachers are unfair”
“Professor West is unfair.”
“I’m repulsive.”
“I’m repulsive to him/her.”
“Books are useless”
“This book is useless
The Optimist believes good events will enhance everything he does, while the pessimist
believes good events are caused by specific factors.
Specific (Pessimism)
“I’m smart at math.”
“My broker knows oil stocks.”
“I was charming to her.”
________________________
Universal (Optimism)
“I’m smart.”
“My broker knows Wall Street.”
“I’m charming.”
Hope
Whether or not we hope depends on two dimensions taken together. Finding permanent
and universal causes of good events along with temporary and specific causes for
misfortune – that is the art of hope. Finding permanent and universal causes for
misfortune and temporary and specific causes of good events is the practice of despair.
Bad events – can be described either in a hopeless or hopeful manner
“I’m stupid.”
“Men are tyrants.”
“It’s five in ten this lump is cancer.”
“I’m hung over.”
“My husband was in a bad mood.”
“It’s five in ten this lump is nothing.”
The same goes for good events:
“I’m lucky.”
“My wife charms my clients.”
“The U. S. will root out the terrorists.”
“I’m talented.”
“My wife charms everyone.”
“The U. S. will root out all its enemies.”
People who make permanent and universal explanations for good events,
as well as temporary and specific explanations for bad events,
bounce back from troubles briskly
and get on a roll easily when they succeed once.
People who make temporary and specific explanations for success,
and permanent and universal explanations for setbacks,
tend to collapse under pressure – both for a long time and across situations
– and rarely get on a roll.
How to Increase Optimism and Hope
Well-documented method.
1. recognize pessimistic thoughts
2. dispute them
We all know how to dispute
say someone – some outsider -- threatens or accuses someone we love
we’ll come to their defense – give the reasons why that person is wrong
Key to disputing your own pessimistic thoughts
FIRST: recognize them.
SECOND: treat them like they were uttered by an outside person
by a rival
whose mission in life is to make you miserable
You are going to defeat that rival.
When a Pessimistic Thought occurs; one that seems unwarranted
argue against it
ABCDE Model
Adversity
Beliefs you automatically have when the pessimistic though occurs
C – the usual consequences of the belief
you Disputation of your routine belief
E – the Energization that occurs when you dispute it successfully
Example – p. 93
Important – your beliefs are just that – beliefs
they may or may not be facts.
Let’s say you’ve got a jealous rival – someone who doesn’t like you
the person screams in a rage at you –
“You are a terrible mother/father. You are selfish, inconsiderate, and stupid.”
You’d probably dispute that evaluation. (either to that person’s face or internally)
My kids love me.
I help them with algebra, toss a ball with them.
She’s/He’s just jealous because his kids have turned out so badly.
We’re good at doing this with other jerky people.
Not so good when we get jerky toward ourselves.
We may be wrong about ourselves.
What we say to ourselves when we face a setback can be just as baseless as the ravings of
a jealous rival.
Our reflexive explanations are usually distortions
exaggerations
bad habits
usually practiced from unpleasant experiences in the past
mom loved my sister more
my Little League coach told me I was a loser
MERE beliefs
just because someone fears that he is unemployable, unlovable, inadequate
doesn’t mean it’s true.
Learn to Argue with Yourself
Four parts to your disputing with yourself.
Evidence
Fact.
be like Columbo – “What is the evidence for this belief?”
I blew my diet.
count it up – nachos, chicken wings, 2 light beers.
might not be many more calories than the dinner you skipped
to go out for a fun night with your friends
NOT positive thinking
Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better
there may be no evidence / or contrary evidence
Learned optimism is about accuracy.
if you experience a catastrophic explanation – ask, what’s the evidence for explanation?
Alternatives
Most events have many causes
You did poorly on a test
how hard was it
how much did you study
how smart are you
how fair is the professor
how did the other students do
how tired were you
Pessimists latch onto the worst of these causes
the most permanent and pervasive one.
If there are lots of causes –
why latch on to the most insidious?
Ask yourself – is there any less destructive way to look at this?
Scan for all possible contributing causes.
focus on those that are changeable
like not spending enough time studying
most specific
like, this was an unusually hard test
nonpersonal
the professor graded too hard
Push hard to look at alternative explanations.
Implications
the facts won’t always be on your side
the negative believe you hold about yourself may be true!
Technique: Decatastrophizing
So it’s true. What are the implications?
so the dinner wasn’t romantic
what does that imply?
one bad dinner does not equal divorce
How likely is that worst-case scenario?
do a couple of chicken wings and a plate of nachos really mean, doomed to obesity
Go back to the EVIDENCE again
Usefulness
Sometimes the consequences of holding a belief matter more than its truth.
Is the belief destructive?
When you break your diet, the response, “I’m a total glutton”
recipe for letting go of your diet entirely
The world isn’t fair.
How upset do you want to be about that?
You can dwell on it. What good will that do you?
Another tactic
How can I change the situation in the future?
The wife – decided to stop reading those catastrophic magazine articles about divorce
Parents – magazines – the 10 new ways your child can die in an accident this month
I was taught that I should always make 100.
96 – why did you miss that one – 4 points?
Wasn’t working for me.
Decided a B was just fine – I’m okay with 85
_______________
Homework
Last page of Handout
Practice disputing
During the next five adverse events you face
Listen closely for your beliefs
observe the consequences
dispute your beliefs vigorously
Then, observe the energy that occurs as you succeed in dealing with the negative beliefs.
Can record it on the last sheet of today’s handout.
Practice on minor things.
The mail is late
they didn’t return my call
they guy in front of me is pokey and I can’t pass
Two examples:
One about a bad event
One about a good event
Learning to Argue with Yourself
Your Disputation Record
Don’t search out adversity, but as it comes along, tune in carefully to your internal
dialogue. When you hear the negative beliefs, dispute them. Beat them into the ground,
then record the ABCDE.
1.
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequences:
Disputation:
Energization
2.
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequences:
Disputation:
Energization
3.
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequences:
Disputation:
Energization
4.
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequences:
Disputation:
Energization
5.
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequences:
Disputation:
Energization
For the next two weeks – I’ll be away
Great programs by the Gaia Guild (sustainability)
Give you time to practice your disputation.
Also, take some of those tests, exercises
authentichappiness.org
We’ve talked about happiness in our past – reinterpreting
Happiness in the future – learning optimism
Next: Happiness in the Present
Pleasures and Gratifications.
After that – my favorite part –
Strengths and Virtues