The Gateway 1 April 2014

advertisement
The Gateway
The Bulletin of the
Rotary Club of Dandenong
South East
Chartered 1 November, 1968
PO Box 6, Doveton, Vic 3177
Rotary International District 9820
www.rotarydandenongsoutheast.or
g
Volume 47 Number 27
Club President
Don’t forget
Peter Curtis
[email protected]
Club Secretary
June O’Doherty
April is LITERACY MONTH
Next Week at Dandenong South East
[email protected]
Gateway Editor
Paul Wilson
[email protected]
Tuesday 8/4/14
Hilton Manufacturing visit
Chairperson
John Peck
Cashier:
Val Bennett
Fellowship:
All
District Governor
Tuesday 15/04/14
Tim Moore
Rotary Club of Berwick
Mandela & Me
District Governor Elect
Chairperson
Cashier:
Fellowship:
Charles Speirs
Rotary Club of Traralgon
Con Meehan
Howard Davis
All
Assistant Governor
Melbourne South East Cluster
Tim Ahern
Rotary Club of Pakenham
Birthdays:
April 7 Neil Fullard
March 23 Margaret Gunton
Club Anniversary:
April 4 June O’Doherty
April .20 John Lawton
April 23 Scott McClennan
April 28 Phil Thurgoody
Wedding Anniversary:
April 22 Sandra Foley
if you are unable to attend next week’s to
let Margaret Gunton meeting. Her phone
number is 9792-2734. Deadline is 11.00 AM
Tuesday.
.
Upcoming Events
Activity
Dates
Location
Hilton
Manufacturing
Visit
District
Training
Mandela & me
8/4/14
End Hammomd
Rd Dandenong
12/4 & 13/4
Traralgon
15/4/14
Partners Night
Dandenong
Club
NO Rotary due
to Easter
NO ROTARY
22/4/14
Brewery Visit
30/4/14
Changeover
Night
24/06/14
29/4/14
Wednesday
Night
TBA
Rotary News
APRIL - MAGAZINE MONTH .
Have you explored the rich world of
Rotary Media information? April is
magazine month and may be just
the time to find on the RI web site
links to "The Rotarian", "Rotary
World" and details of the 27 regional
magazines published for Rotarians
all around the world.
More information from Rotary
Downunder Website.
Presidents Report - Peter
President Peter welcomed all to the
meeting and went over the next Rotary
Meetings due to Easter and visits.
8/4 – Hilton Manufacturing Visit
15/4 – Mandela & Me Partners Night
Dandenong Club
22/4 – No Rotary due to Easter
29/4 – No Rotary
30/4 – Brewery Visit
News of the passing of former club
member Ron McCarthy and keep an eye
out for the funeral notice.
Peter reminded those going to Traralgon
and not too late for others to attend
Ball is tentative for May 10 and great if we
can get a table from the members.
Thank you in advance for Ros stepping in
to give the club a talk on her life
Secretary’s Report June
Rotary for citizenship at a cost of $1000
per student and top John Peck for
evaluation
Mamaland letter of appreciation and that
their container has arrived at its final
destination. Hospital beds are in the
hospital and first baby born on one.
Annual letter from the Haemophilia
Association
Treasurers Report – Joe
Admin - $2254
House - $13,611
Charity - $1613
General Business
John Peck apologised for the Hilton
Manufacturing change of nights
Colin Byron mentioned the new
breathalyser application has been sent
and first report is due in May
Ros Meadmore gave us a very
enlightening talk on her family and her
early years and that she and June
O’Doherty were related by marriage.
Her father Clement was an actor and was
the first person to import Hornby trains to
Australia and was a lifelong interest and
trains. He built small gauge railway at
Ivanhoe that was relocated to the Eltham
track at the Diamond Valley Railway
running today after 50 years.
Her mother worked at JC Williamson and
was an usherette and lifelong love of the
theatre and ballet.
Her brother Clement was an
internationally recognised sculpture of
large metal designs that on is outside the
AMP building in Melbourne.
Roger Meadmore was the founder of the
pancake Parlours throughout Australia
and was avid in his interest of Aviation
and had several planes, tiger moth,
Cessna and a balloonist. His son is now
the CEO of the Pancake parlour business
Subject: Irish ghost story
IRISH GHOST STORY
This story happened a while ago in Dublin
, and even though it sounds like
an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John Bradford, a Dublin University
student, was on the side of the road
hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the
midst of a big storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went
by. The storm was so strong he
could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming
towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without
thinking about it, got into the car
and closed the door.... Only to realize
there was nobody behind the wheel
and the engine wasn't on. The car started
moving slowly. John looked at the
road ahead and saw a curve approaching.
Scared, he started to pray, begging
for his life. Then, just before the car hit the
curve, a hand appeared out
of nowhere through the window, and
turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with
terror, watched as the hand came through
the window, but never touched or
harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a
pub appear down the road, so,
gathering strength; he jumped out of the
car and ran to it.. Wet and out of
breath, he rushed inside and started
telling everybody about the horrible
experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when
everybody realized he was crying... And
wasn't drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other
people walked in from the dark and
stormy night. They, like John, were also
soaked and out of breath. Looking
around, and seeing John Bradford
sobbing at the bar, one said to the
other....
Now for anyone that has visited Ireland,
this is very possible, they are the
funniest people I have ever met.
Look Paddy....there's that fooking idiot
that got in the car while we were
pushing it!!!!'
Read on and have a laugh!!!
Sat Nav
Her mother had gone to England and fell
ill and Ros left for England as a 16 year
old and was quite the tour guide of
Landon for several English families
visiting London.
She returned to Australia via Paris,
Heidelberg, Mont St, and Monte Carlo and
was lucky enough to see Princess Grace.
Her second marriage to Charles Moffatt
lasted 33years and they were heavily
involved in equestrian activities and 3
children later at their 12 acre Kangaroo
Ground property bred horses and took
one to Europe to compete and did very
well.
One particular stand out was Kelso Mulga
Bill who competed in the world equestrian
events for 2 years from 1993 to 1994.
There was almost a film of the horse's life
but did not come to fruition.
Peter thanked Ros for her enlightening
talk to the members.
The Funnies!
I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my
car A Satnav is a driver's friend, it tells
you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones, my
Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, especially
how to drive "It's sixty miles an hour", it
says, "You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, and
when to use the brake And tells me that
it's
never ever, safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, and when it
goes to green It seems to know
instinctively, just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, and all
those to the rear And taking this into
account, it specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a
device For when we leave and lock the
car,
it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each
journey's pretty fraught So why don't I
exchange
it, and get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
makes sure I'm properly fed It washes all
my
shirts and things, and keeps me warm in
bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my
tendency to scoff, I only wish that now
and then,
I could turn the bugger off.
Dad, about your will...
A man was telling his mate, "You won't
believe what happened last night...
My daughter walked into the living room
and said, 'Dad, cancel my allowance
immediately, forget my university tuition
loan, rent my room out, throw all
my clothes out the window; take my TV,
and my laptop. Please take any of
my jewellery to the Salvation Army or
Cash Converters. Then, sell my car,
take my front door key away from me and
throw me out of the house. Then,
disown me and never talk to me again.
And don't forget to write me out of
your will and leave my share to any
charity you choose.' "
"Holy Smokes," replied the friend, "she
actually said that?"
"Well, she didn't put it quite like that, she
actually said... 'Dad, meet
my new boyfriend - Mohammed. We're
going to work together on Shorten's
election campaign!' "
TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour...
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some
milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some
milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks
the other, and then throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE)
CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly
listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that
you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned
by the majority shareholder who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company.
The annual report says the company owns
eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president
of the United States , leaving you with
nine cows. No balance sheet provided
with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse
why the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of
euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay
stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores,
abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and
block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon
image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them
belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment,
and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the
real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **
out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you
are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few
beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
Download