Ljubezen - Janek Musek

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I. letnik psihologije
Prof. dr. Janek Musek
Doc. dr. Darja Kobal
Asist. dr. Andreja Avsec
MOTIVACIJA IN EMOCIJE
pojmovanja
definicije, vloga
historično
drugi aspekti
oblike, vrste, vidiki
bio/psih, prim/sek,
notr/zun, pot/privl
zav/nezav
instinktivistični m.
Darwin, McDougall
etologija
evol. psih./biosociologija
redukcija potrebe/gona
homeostaza
Freud, Hull
aktivacijske teorije
modeli in teorije
spodbude
kognitivne teorije
vrednost/verjetnost
humanistične teorije
hierarhija motivov
MOTIVACIJA
definicije, značilnosti
oblike, vidiki
modeli, teorije
definicije, vloga
značilnosti emocij
vidiki emocij
vrste emocij
klasične teorije
James/Lange
Cannon/Bard
kognitivni modeli
Izard, Tomkins, Plutchik
drugi
biološki in
nevoznanstveni modeli
motivacije in emocij
emocije, motivi
in kognicija
vroča kognicija
afekt (+,-)
optimizem/pesim.
upanje
sreča/zadovoljstvo
EMOCIJE
definicije, vrste
vidiki, značilnosti
modeli, teorije
hranjenje
radovednost
spolnost
storilnost
mojstrstvo
nemoč, neuspeh
združevanje
odobravanje
jeza, sovraštvo
agresivnost
moč
ljubezen
navezanost
empatija
anksioznost
krivda, sram
samoaktualizacija
smisel
transcendenca
POMEMBNI MOTIVI
IN EMOCIJE
glavni motivi
pomembne emocije
TEMATSKI SKLOPI
Pregled tematike
dinamika motivov
frustracija
konflikt
obrambno obnašanje
stres
izgorevanje
soočanje
kriza
izbira, odločanje
vedenjske namere
atribucija
načini atribuiranja
jaz in samopodoba
kot motivacijska
dejavnika
samoregulacija
volja
samoučinkovitost
samodoločanje
MOTIVACIJSKA
DINAMIKA
frustracija, konflikt
stres, kriza
Predavanje 10:
LJUBEZEN IN NAVEZANOST
MOTIVACIJA IN EMOCIJE
Ljubezen kot predmet psihološkega
proučevanja
Teorije ljubezni
Navezovanje in slogi navezanosti
Ljubezen in navezanost
‘pomembni vidiki ljubezni
‘privlačnost, ljubezen in partnerstvo
‘vrste in značilnosti ljubezni
‘pojem ljubezni v psihologiji
Ljubezen kot predmet
psihološkega proučevanja
Povzetek
"temporary insanity curable by marriage or
by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the
disorder." Bierce, 1943
– dejavniki ljubezni
– komponente ljubezni
‘Teorije ljubezni
‘Narava in vrste ljubezni
‘Ljubezen - vodilna tema človeštva
Ljubezen
Ljubezen
– erotična ljubezen
– ljubezen med sorodniki (npr. starši
in otroki)
– duhovna ljubezen in ljubezen do
bližnjega
‘ Več kategorij ljubezni
– miti, ljudske pesmi in pripovedi
– umetno pesništvo, proza (romani)
– 2000 in več pred našim štetjem
(sumersko, egipčansko, kitajsko,
indijsko izročilo)
‘ pričevanja odkar jih lahko
beležimo
– ljubezen in borba
– lirika in epika človeštva
– pogosto povezani (zgodba o
Parisu, Ramayana...)
‘ ena od dveh poglavitnih tem
človeštva
Ljubezen - zgodovinski pogled
– ljubezen je univerzalen fenomen
– pojmovanja in prepričanja o ljubezni pa se v
različnih kulturah razlikujejo
‘ kulturne razlike
– bogovi ljubezni (Afrodita, Venera, Eros,
Amor...)
‘ obsedenost (božanska)
– misterij ljubezni
– pozitivni in negativni aspekti (bittersweat)
– Sapfo
‘ fascinantno in skrivnostno izkustvo
Ljubezen - zgodovinski pogled
(nad.)
– pojmovanje, da je erotična
ljubezen vrhunsko in usodno
čustvo, pogoj za partnerstvo,
zakon in srečo
‘ romantika
– duhovna ljubezen kot najvišja
stvarnost
– odraz božje narave
– ljubezen do bližnjega, do
sebe in do Boga
‘ krščanstvo
‘ zahodna kultura
Ljubezen - zgodovinski pogled
(nad.)
‘ Mit o človeku iz
Platonovega Simpozija
‘ Tri vrste prvotnega
človeka (mm, žž, mž)
‘ Nevarni bogovom, ki so
jih zato razpolovili
‘ Od tedaj iščejo ljudje
svoje izgubljene polovice
‘ LJUBEZEN KOT
POTREBA PO
ZDRUŽITVI
Platonova teorija
fiziološko vzburjenje, ki
ga posameznik interpretira
kot ljubezensko čustvo
kulturno ozadje, ki ceni
ljubezen in v katerem se
posameznik uči ljubiti ter
pričakuje ljubezen
prisotnost osebe, ki je
potencialni ljubezenski
partner (glede na privllačnost, starost, ...)
‘ Transcendentne prvin
‘ Socialne prvine
‘ Razumske prvine
‘ Motivacijske prvine
‘ Čustvene prvine
Prvine in aspekti ljubezni
‘ Freud
‘ Maslow
‘ Rubin
‘ Lee
‘ Hatfield
‘ Aron & Aron
‘ Hazan & Shaver
‘ Sternberg
‘ Fehr
‘ Kovecses
Teorije ljubezni
‘ potlačitev ene ali druge komponente
lahko vodi v nevrozo
– emocionalna naklonjenost
– čutnost
‘ dve komponenti ljubezni
– odrasla ljubezen je v bistvu reprodukcija
infantilne
– transformacija kratkotrajnih spolnih
impulzov v dolgotrajno afektivno navezanost
‘ ljubezen in spolnost imata korenine v
zgodnjem otroštvu
– “Prispevki k psihologiji ljubezni”
‘ Freud (1910)
Teorije ljubezni: Freud
Če bi bil p. žalosten, bi bila moja prva ‘ Trije vidiki ljubezni
dolžnost, da ga potolažim.
– navezanost
Mislim, da lahko p. zaupam praktično vse.
– žrtvovanje (skrb za)
Ni mi težko sprejeti p. slabe strani.
– intimnost
Za p. bi lahko storil skoraj vse.
Do p. imam velike posedovalne zahteve.
‘ Tipi ljubezni
Če nikoli ne bi mogel biti skupaj s p., bi bil – potreba po navezovanju in
zelo nesrečen.
odvisnosti
Ko se čutim osamljenega, je moja prva
– podpora in pripravljenost pomagati
misel, da bi poiskal p.
Dobro počutje p. je ena mojih največjih
– potreba po “posedovanju” in
skrbi.
izključnosti v odnosu do ljubljene
P. bi skoraj vse odpustil.
osebe
Čutim se odgovornega za p.
‘ Rubinova lestvica ljubezni
Če sem skupaj s p., si vzamem veliko časa
za to, da ga gledam.
Zelo bi bil vesel, če bi se mi p. zaupal.
Zelo težko bi prenesel ločitev od p.
‘ Zick Rubin (1970, 1973, 1974)
Teorije ljubezni : Rubin
‘ Hendrick & Hendrick (1986)
Love attitude scale
osnovni tipi
eros (ljubezen do idealne osebe)
ludus (ljubezen kot igra in zabava)
storge (ljubezen kot prijateljstvo)
kombinirani tipi
mania (strastna, obsesivna ljubezen: eros
in ludus)
– pragma (realistična, praktična ljubezen:
ludus in storge)
– agape (nesebična, samožrtvovalna
ljubezen: eros in storge)
–
–
–
–
–
–
‘ Lee (1973)
‘ Barve ljubezni
Teorije ljubezni : Lee
lo v
e
o s Ma
s
e s n ia
s
ive
(P
)
Pragm a
(P ra gma tic love )
Eros
(P a s s iona te love )
Love S tyle s
(
S
F
r
ie to
n
d s rg e
h
ip
l
ov
e
)
p e ve )
a
A g tic lo
is
u
r
t
l
(A
(G
us g
d
Lu a yin
l
p
e
am
e
lo v
)
subscales, developed to assess the six major love styles of Lee's
multidimensional theory of love (Lee, 1988).
‘ The Love Attitudes Scale is composed of 24 items, organized in six
Ljubezenske barve žensk in
moških
designed to measure four dimensions: Permissiveness (casual sexuality), Sexual
Practices (responsible sexuality), Communion (idealistic sexuality) and
Instrumentality (biological sexuality). The alpha coefficients ranged from a low of
.70 for Instrumentality to a high of .88 for Permissiveness.
‘ The Sexual Attitudes Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1987) is a 43-item scale
Ljubezenske barve žensk in
moških (nad.)
‘ research is limited
‘ romantic (eros) and altruistic (agape)
had positive correlations with
satisfaction at all ages
‘ game-playing (ludus) had negative
correlation
‘ companionate (storge) had positive
correlation only for couples with
children at home
‘ possessive (mania) and pragmatic
(pragma) unrelated
Druge ugotovitve
– močno hrepenenje po združitvi s
partnerjem
– močna fiziološka komponenta
‘ Strastna ljubezen (passionate
love)
– čustva do partnerja s katerim
smo tesno povezani
‘ Tovariška ljubezen
(companionate love)
– nista vedno združljivi
‘ Hatfield in sod. (1978, 1988)
‘ Dve kategoriji ljubezni
Teorije ljubezni: Hatfield in sod.
– gliha vkup štriha
– nasprotja se privlačijo
– na začetku je podobnost izhodišče za samoekspanzijo
(brez nje partnerstvo ni možno)
– nato postanejo to izhodišče drugačnosti (?)
‘ Kontroverzna vloga podobnosti in nasprotij v
ljubezni
– zaljubimo se v ljudi, v katerih slutimo priložnost za
ekspanzijo samega sebe
– intimnost: tretiranje partnerja kot del samega sebe
‘ Aron in Aron (1986)
Teorije ljubezni: Aron & Aron
Samoekspanzija
– npr. strastna ljubezen (spolnost)
– tovariška ljubezen (skrb in navezanost)
‘ Znani tipi ljubezni so njihove
kombinacije
– navezovanje (kot otrok)
– skrb, negovanje (kot mati)
– spolnost
‘ Iz teorije navezanosti (Bowlby,
Harlow, Ainsworth)
‘ Hazan, Shaver
‘ Ljubezen je integracija treh biološko
utemeljenih vedenjskih sistemov
0
10
20
30
40
50
60
varnost
izogibanje
ambivalentnost
Hazan, Shaver in sod.: teorija
ljubezni
A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I
find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to
allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when
anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to
be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.
B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am
comfortable depending on them and having them
depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned
or about someone getting too close to me.
C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would
like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love
me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very
close to my partner, and this sometimes scares
people away.
– izogibalen
– gotov (varen)
– ambivalenten
‘ Hazan, Shaver, 1987
Lestvica romantične ljubezni
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Less invested in relationships
Show less grief following loss
During sex with a partner, fantasizes someone else
More casual sex
Prefers to work alone
Workaholics as a way to avoid close relations
Tend to recall parents as rejecting and rebuffing
Tend to have experienced childhood trauma (e.g., abused,
alcoholic parents)
Withdraws from partner when partner or self is stressed
Find social interactions boring and irrelevant
Do not like self-disclosure by self and others
Positive mood induction fails to increase their creativity
Unable to remember relationships well
Hostile/hateful when provoked
More likely to be atheist/agnostic; "born again" religious
experience during adolescence if mother was not religious
Have death anxiety but tend not to reveal it directly
‘ gre za različne zgodnje
dispozicije ali za
razlike v poznejšem
oblikovanju slogov?
– prepuščeno izogibanje
(več moških, višje
samospoštovanje)
– anksiozno izogibanje
(več pri ženskah)
‘ dva podtipa
‘ 25 odstotkov
Izogibajoči ljubimci
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‘ 20 odstotkov
High breakup rate despite deep involvement
Intense grieving following loss
Unstable self-esteem combined with self-doubt
Prefer being "cuddly" than actual sex
Although like to work with others, often feel under-appreciated
Views spouse as unsupportive
Daydreams about success but often unable to sustain efforts
Vulnerable to eating disorders
Perceive parents as intrusive and unfair
Tend to be emotional, especially when under stress
Worry about rejection during daily interactions
Have a tendency to self-disclose to every one and like others to disclose
Jealous and untrusting
Easily distracted by mood swings (even when it is positive)
Preoccupied with personal relationships; can't turn thoughts away
Hostility and anger
More likely than other attachment styles to be overtaken by religious emotions
Afraid of separation
Afraid of death
Anksiozni/ambivalentni ljubimci
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More trusting
Less lonely
Tend to have long-term relationships
Enjoy sex, especially with long-term partners
High self-esteem and high regards for others
Seeking social support when under stress
Generous and supportive when lovers are under
stress
Self-disclose appropriately and like others to selfdisclose
Positive, optimistic, and constructive in interacting
with others
Likely to adopt parents' religion
Relatively unafraid of death
More creative and cognitively open following a
positive mood induction
‘ 55 odstotkov
Samogotovi (varni) ljubimci
‘ Sternberg (1986)
‘ Tri dimenzije ljubezni
‘ Sedem tipov ljubezni
Sternberg: triangularna teorija
ljubezni
strastna
ljubezen
STRASTNOST
romantična
ljubezen
nora
ljubezen
popolna
ljubezen
INTIMNOST
ugajanje
ZAVEZANOST
prazna
ljubezen
tovariška
ljubezen
‘ neljubezen (0)
‘ popolna ljubezen (I, S, Z)
‘ nora ljubezen (S, Z)
‘ tovariška ljubezen (I, Z)
‘ romantična ljubezen (I, S)
‘ prazna ljubezen (Z)
‘ strastna ljubezen (S)
‘ ugajanje (I)
Tipi ljubezni po Sternbergu
S TRAS TNOS T
nizka
vis o ka
nizka
vis o ka
nizka
vis o ka
vis o ka
nizka
INTIMNOS T
vis o ka
nizka
nizka
vis o ka
vis o ka
nizka
vis o ka
nizka
NELJUBEZEN
POPOLNA
LJUBEZEN
vis o ka
nizka
NORA
LJUBEZEN
TOVARIŠ KA
LJUBEZEN
ROMANTIČNA
LJUBEZEN
PRAZNA
LJUBEZEN
S TRAS TNA
LJUBEZEN
UGAJANJE
TIP LJUBEZNI
vis o ka
vis o ka
nizka
vis o ka
nizka
nizka
ZAVEZANOS T
Secure
*76.4%
*84.8%
*77.9%
Love Test Scale Score
Passion
Intimacy
Commitment
70.6%
78.0%
69.8%
Avoidant
F
69.3% f(2,692)=18.1
74.3% f(2,692)=25.1
71.3% f(2,692)=13.4
Anxious/
Ambivalent
Attachment Style
Mean Love Test Experience Scores by Attachment Style
– pri stilu gotovosti so dimenzije močneje izražene
< .0001
< .0001
< .0001
p
‘ Ali se osebe z različnim slogom navezovanja razlikujejo v
strastnosti, intimnosti in navezanosti?
Dimenzije ljubezni in slog
navezanosti
‘ kaj je ljubezen?
‘ kaj ljudje mislijo, da je ljubezen?
Znanstvena in laična
pojmovanja ljubezni
‘ afekcija (simpatija,
naklonjenost)
‘ spolna ljubezen
‘ platonska ljubezen
‘ prijateljska ljubezen
‘ romantična ljubezen
‘ najstniška ljubezen
‘ strastna ljubezen
‘ slepa zaljubljenost
‘ zvesta ljubezen
‘ koliko se različni besedni
opisi približujejo
centralnemu pojmu
določenega tipa ljubezni
– pojem prototipa (Rosch,
1973, 1975, 1978)
‘ analiza prototipov
ljubezni
‘ Fehr (1988, 1991)
Fehr - prototipi ljubezni
– trije faktorji, ki se
ujemajo s
Sternbergovimi
dimenzijami
‘ Fehr - Sternberg
‘ Faktorska analiza
prototipov ljubezni
.78
.73
.68
.51
Puppy
Passionate
Sexual
Romantic
.80
.72
Platonic
Friendship
.87
.66
.44
Committed
Romantic
Friendship
Commitment
.84
Affection
Intimacy
.82
Loading
Infatuation
Passion
Dimenzije prototipov ljubezni
hugging
kissing
fondness
closeness
concern
friendship
being there for the person
a bond
doing things for the person
happiness
helping the person
holding hands
sharing
warmth
can be one-sided
not too intense
not sexual
‘ caring
‘ afekcija
Uganimo tip ljubezni - afekcija
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‘ spolna ljubezen
Physical attraction
arousal
lust
expressed through sexual intercourse
person is seen only as a sex object for one's own gratification
commitment
contentment
excitement
fulfills a need
heart rate increases
intimate
kissing
touching
not long lasting
close while having sex, but not necessarily after
emotional
giving
happiness
special
think about the other person all the time
Uganimo tip ljubezni - spolna
ljubezen
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friendship
not sexual
caring
doing thing together
not physical
supportive
enjoy each other's company
feel relaxed with the person
happiness
helping the person
normal behavior
sharing
trust
contentment
feel free to talk about anything
being reliable
respect
‘ platonska ljubezen
Uganimo tip ljubezni - platonska
ljubezen
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‘ prijateljska ljubezen
Feel free to talk about anything
caring, helping, supporting
honesty
doing thing together
trust
sharing
understanding
sharing emotions, sharing thoughts,sharing experiences
being there for the other person
good times
happiness
long lasting
loyalty
openness
a bond, sense of belonging
closeness
common interests
concern
feeling relaxed with the person
listening to each other
respect
sadness
Uganimo tip ljubezni prijateljska ljubezen
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‘ romantična ljubezen
candlelight dinners
taking walks
happiness
idealistic
your world revolves around the person
want to be with the other person all the time, think about the person all the time
giving gifts
dream about the person
like a fairy tale
feel relaxed with the person
good times
physical attraction
sharing
courtship
doing things together
don't know the person very well
kissing
honesty
glowing
giving
friendship
feel free to talk about anything
problems seem to vanish
sexual
sweaty palms
soft music
Uganimo tip ljubezni romantična ljubezen
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occurs at a young age
a new experience
not long lasting
think about the person all the time
infatuation
feel shy around the person
a crush
dream about the person
feel like your floating
initially strong, but then fades
painful if not reciprocated
see only the person's good qualities
act immaturely
attraction
heart rate increases
kissing
sweaty palms
‘ najstniška ljubezen
(“puppy love”)
Uganimo tip ljubezni najstniška ljubezen
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sexual
caring
intense
think about the person all the time
a bond
heart rate increases
want to be with the person all the time
arousal
emotional
expressive
kissing
lust
attraction
don't know the person very well
euphoria
excitement
feel flushed
giving your self completely to the person
hugging
intimate
irrational
physical
the person is the most special person in your life
not long lasting
touching
want to make each other happy
‘ strastna ljubezen
Uganimo tip ljubezni - strastna
ljubezen
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Think about the other person all the time
not long lasting
physical attraction
see only the person's good qualities
intrigued by some fascinating quality of the person
your world revolves around the person
you don't know the person very well
excited when you see the person
being love-struck
heart rate increases
sweaty palms
think you're in love
talk about the person all the time
want to be with the person all the time
a crush
based on first impressions
irrational
‘ slepa
zaljubljenost
(ljubezen na
prvi pogled)
Uganimo tip ljubezni - slepa
zaljubljenost
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commitment
continues regardless of the circumstances
long lasting
think about the person all the time
being there for the person
felt for only one person
honesty
sharing
caring
closeness
giving
respect
a promise
sexual
trust
understanding
a bond
devotion
faithfulness
feel free to talk about anything
give and take relationship
live together
openness
passionate
sacrifice
‘ zvesta ljubezen
Uganimo tip ljubezni - zvesta
ljubezen
‘
‘
‘
Although Kovecses suggested that languagebased models (either "ideal" or "typical") may
influence the way people experience love,
without empirical studies he could not be certain
whether people actually use them in interpreting
their experiences.
Thus, he reviewed some studies on the
psychological validity of language-based models
done by Averill and Boothroyd (1977). In one
study, subjects were asked first to read a love
story that was taken to be a good illustration of
romantic love. Next, they rated on a 10-point
scale how closely their most intense love
relationship matched the conception of romantic
love represented by the story.
The results showed that 40% of the subjects
confirmed the conception, and 40% did not.
Kovecses thought such results suggested that
language-based models of love have some
psychological validity.
‘ idealni model
‘ tipični model
• “midva sva eno”
• “ona je njegova boljša
polovica”
– “ljubezen je združitev”
‘ Kovecses (1988, 1990,
1991)
‘ jezikovni model ljubezni
‘ analiza metafor o ljubezni
‘ metafore sugerirajo
pojmovanja ljubezni
Kovecses: metafore ljubezni
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
It views love relationships as having a
temporal structure, instead of being a
static state.
It replaces passive waiting for love with
active searching for, and controlling
love.
According to it, love culminates in
marriage.
It replaces "love lasts forever" with
"wild romantic love turns into peaceful
affection in a natural way."
It recognizes the possibility that love
may not be mutual. In that case, one
may "play hard to get," and one may
have to "conquer" another.
It also recognizes the possibility that
everything resulting from the unity
metaphor (e.g., perfect harmony) may
not be found.
– družbena pričakovanja
o ljubezenskem
obnašanju
‘ tipični model
– združitev dveh
komplementarnih
delov
– vedenjski vzorec
– pomankanje kontrole
‘ idealni model
V čem se razlikujeta idealni in
tipični model?
Koliko kemije?
– pri globlji navezanosti?
‘ endorfini
– sintetizira se v možganih,
ko smo zaljubljeni
– deluje podobno kot
amfetamini (energija,
evforija...)
– ali čokolada
‘ feromoni
‘ vloga transmiterjev
‘ noradrenalin, dopamin
‘ feniletilamin
• občutja krivde
• nelagodnost
• negotovost
– negativno tudi za
zavračalca
‘ Baumeister (1993)
‘ Zavračanje ljubezni
Neizpolnjena in zavrnjena
ljubezen
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
‘
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