ISSUE 1189 MARCH 16th 009 courier.unionsociety.co.uk
FREE
Introducing your Union officers elect...
FULL ELECTION RESULTS Pg. 7
Cheryl’s Charity Climb:
who’s really benefiting?
Pg. 10
COMMENT
How to reclaim your bank
charges from the fat cats
A. WILSON
Pg. 17
FEATURES
Sit-in protest on campus
Marina King
News Editor
Following a national storm of
protests at over twenty Universities,
students at Newcastle University
staged a sit-in calling for Newcastle
University to take action in
solidarity with Gaza.
On the afternoon of Tuesday
10th March, a group of 25 students
began an occupation of the Fine Arts
Lecture Theatre on King’s Road in
protest over the conflict in Gaza.
The demonstration lasted 28 hours,
until 7.30pm on Wednesday 11th
March when the University agreed
to discussions with the protesters.
During the demonstration the
protesters posted regular updates
on their website and attracted the
attention of passing students with
banners displayed in the building
window.
The students involved in the
protest submitted a petition of
99 signatures in support of a list
of demands to the University,
asking measures to be taken by the
University.
John Hogan, the University’s
Registrar, agreed to meet with
Newcastle
University
Gaza
Solidarity Campaign on Thursday
12th March, along with The ProVice Chancellor Professor Paul
Younger, and politics lecturer Dr
Trottier.
The University agreed to listen
to the students’ demands and
consider them, wanting to end the
dispute quickly so as to minimise
disruption caused to students. As
not all students would necessarily
agree with the political views of
the protesters, and not wanting to
encourage further protests of this
nature, the University expressed
that they were reluctant to simply
agree to the demands made by the
protesters.
John Hogan, the Registrar, said:
“The occupation ended in the
evening of 11 March. The occupation
was illegal and did cause some
disruption to our normal academic
work. The occupation was well
organised and entirely peaceful.
The students concerned have raised
a number of issues that they wish
the University to consider.
“The University’s position was
that it was willing to enter into
discussion with these students once
the occupation had ended. A meeting
was held with representatives from
the students on the afternoon of 12
March. The meeting lasted for four
hours and was helpful in clarifying
a range of issues. The University
will provide a written response to
the points made by the students by
19 March.”
In a press release Newcastle
University
Gaza
Solidarity
Campaign stated that “ the meeting
lasted from 12pm until 4pm and all
of the demands were either met or
put into progress. The staff involved
are to provide written confirmation
of the agreements within the next
five days”.
The protesters criticised the
University’s
investments
in
companies such as BAE systems
and Rolls-Royce, claiming that
the University has “investments
totalling 3% in companies that
manufacture arms”.
Newcastle
University
Gaza
Solidarity Campaign said that
the decision to occupy was taken
“following a lack of response,
and resistance to attempts to get
our voices heard on such urgent
matters”. They stated that: “the
aim was to put pressure on the
university to declare support and
actively support the people of Gaza,
to disinvest from the arms trade,
and to facilitate political activism
both on and off campus, among
other demands”.
They also pointed out that their
protests “have no religious or racial
basis whatsoever, and are purely an
urgent response to an undeniable
humanitarian and political crisis”
The University issued a statement
on their position over the incident
before the occupation ended: “The
University has made clear that it is
willing to talk to the students about
their demands, but the occupation
must end before this can take
place.
“We believe the occupation is
unnecessary because Newcastle
University already does more
work on the ground in Palestine
than any other UK university, and
because we are willing to discuss
issues of ethical investments
with the participation of student
representatives.
Continued on page 2
After 20 years, ‘unfilmable’
Watchmen finally arrives
Pg. 27
FILM
Is the Premier League
ruining world football?
Pg. 39
SPORT
This week’s meetings:
news
NEWS: 1pm Monday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
FEATURES: 11pm Tuesday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
ART: 12.30pm Wednesday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
ENTS: 1.30pm Wednesday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
FILM: 12.30pm Wednesday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
MUSIC: 1pm Wednesday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
SPORT: 12.30pm Monday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
PHOTOS: 2.30pm Monday, Training Room, Union 2nd floor
Inside this issue:
Students exhibit art at The Baltic
pg. 5
Elections round up in full
pg. 7
Should Dwain Chambers be given a second chance?
pg. 9
NEWS & COMMENT
The Lazy Students Guide - Zimbabwe
pg. 15
Celebrity Monopoly
pg. 16
Binge drinking or tetotalism?
pg. 17
FEATURES
How rise in alcohol prices will affect students
pg. 21
Books - Best Nazi thriller
pg. 23
The Killers reviewed
pg. 29
CULTURE
Success for sailing club
pg. 40
Football firsts get promoted
pg. 41
Rugby firsts lose to Northumbria
The Team 08/09
Editor
Sam Parker
editor.union@ncl.ac.uk
Film Editor
Ashley Fryer
pulp.film@ncl.ac.uk
Deputy Editor
Rich Noon
courier.deputy@ncl.ac.uk
Music Editors
Heather Welsh
Dave Wingrave
pulp.music@ncl.ac.uk
Features Editors
Edward Mansel Lewis
Betsy Powell
courier.features@ncl.ac.uk
Sports Editors
David Coverdale
Jamie Gavin
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
Design Editor
Victoria Proudfoot
courier.design@ncl.ac.uk
Arts Editor
Katie Witcombe
pulp.arts@ncl.ac.uk
Entertainments Editor
Alice Vincent
pulp.ents@ncl.ac.uk
Jack Smith
BACK PAGE
SPORT
News Editors
Marina King
Kate McCann
courier.news@ncl.ac.uk
Agrics bring home ploughing trophy
Photo Editors
Mindaugas Miskinis
Alexander Wilson
courier.photos@ncl.ac.uk
Proof Readers
Laura Bennett
Elizabeth Ekers
Lucy Houlden
Emma Peasgood
Alexander Savage
courier.proof@ncl.ac.uk
Web Editors
Joe Currin
Chris Mandle
James Parker
news.web@ncl.ac.uk
Contact us on:
0191 239 3940
The Courier and Pulp,
Union Society, King’s Walk,
Newcastle upon Tyne.
NE1 8QB
The Courier & Pulp are printed by: Newcastle Chronicle & Journal Ltd, Groat
Market, Newcastle-upon-Tyne. NE1 1ED Tel: 0191 232750
Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent Student Newspaper of the
Union Society at the University of Newcastle-Upon-Tyne. Pulp, established in 2003,
exists as The Courier’s entertainments pullout. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.
The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its
individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the
prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion
pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Union Society
or the University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne.
Newcastle University Agrics have
returned triumphant from Reading
University having regained the Harry
Ferguson Inter-University Ploughing
trophy in a tight three way battle between
the home side, Reading University
Agrics and Harper Adams Agricultural
College.
The Agrics made the long trip down to
Reading in traditional convoy style to try
and take back the trophy which Reading
had successfully defended last year.
The ploughing team was captained
by Charlie Marshall and the other team
members were Liam Stewart, Charlie
Crotty and Hugh Harbison. The idea
for the ploughing competition is that
teams are given a plot of land and
have to plough it as neatly as possible.
Participants are then marked on various
factors and the team with the highest
score wins. Reading University supplied
the equipment and this years weapon
of choice was a Massey Ferguson 6480
with a Kverneland five furrow reversible
plough.
“...teams are given
a plot of land and
have to plough it as
neatly as possible”
All three teams were very equally
matched but in the end the final decision
was between Newcastle and Reading;
the judges were deliberating for a long
time, going back over their score sheets
and continuously re-walking the plots.
Eventually the decision was made that
Newcastle were the winners by the finest
of margins. As soon as Charlie Marshall
lifted the cup the celebrations began.
The event was very well supported and
thanks go to Reading Agrics who were
excellent hosts.
The following day saw the subject
change from tractors and ploughing to
rugby. Unfortunately Newcastle were
unable to play when Reading had visited
in the autumn due to frozen pitches, so
the match was eagerly anticipated.
The Agrics were not as lucky with
the rugby outcome as the ploughing,
but the heavily depleted team put
up a strong performance following a
long night of celebrating. Both Jeremy
Seaman and Charlie Crotty put in strong
performances from the front row and
club captain Richard Ord returned from
injury to score and finish the match on
a high, however home advantage and
Readings freshness proved too much for
the team in the end.
The cup is now proudly back in
Newcastle hopefully for a long time,
keep a look out next year as it will be
Newcastle’s turn to host the event.
Students stage sit-in protest over
University’s position on Gaza
Continued from front page
“The University has a duty to make its
campus a pleasant and non-threatening
environment for all of its staff and
students, and the sensitive issues raised
by this protest need to be handled in a
manner which respects this duty.”
The demonstration caused some lectures
to be cancelled due to University security
stopping students entering the building
after the protest began. The University
found alternative lecture rooms during
the dispute, and were anxious to minimise
the disruption to the large majority of
students.
In response to the demonstration
Newcastle University Labour Society
held a petition outside the Union on
Thursday 12th March, calling for the
University to resist the demands made
by the protesters. They gained over 50
signatures and informed The Courier that
the response by the majority of people
was sympathy for the cause of the protest
but that there are better ways to voice a
campaign.
The
society
believes
that
the
demonstration undermines free thought
by imposing their view upon everyone,
and the act of occupation undermines
other democratic processes. Although
sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinian
people, the society stated that they feel
sit-ins are intimidating and that there are
other effective channels of communication
from which to make a point.
“By staging sit-ins, a small group of
people are attempting to impose their
views upon the entire University by
effectively holding it to ransom” David
Hickling, from the Labour Society told
The Courier.
Other Universities have reacted to
similar protests in variety of ways, at
Nottingham University protesters were
removed by security, but some protests,
such as one undertaken Oxford University,
were ended after the institutions made
agreements with the protest organisers.
The demonstrations began early
this year, with students urging their
institutions to publically condemn recent
Israeli attacks in the region.
The Guardian has reported that more
than 1,300 Palestinians, including 400
children, have been killed since Israel
began its operations against Hamas
militants on 27th December 2008, and
more than a dozen Israelis have died.
A ceasefire has been announced by both
sides, and the DEC which represents more
than a dozen aid agencies, is appealing
for money to buy food, medicine and
blankets.
C
M
Y
K
NEWS
9th March 2009
3
courier.news@ncl.ac.uk
L.FENWICK
A scientific excuse for a lie-in
Caroline ArgyropuloPalmer
New research shows that enjoying
a lie-in may not mean that you are
lazy, but is infact down to your body
clock.
“In an ideal world I wouldn’t get
up ‘til mid-day, and I’d go to bed at
about 3am” second year Computer
Science student Daniel Ross told The
Courier, a view that a lot of students
probably share, or are considered
to under the stereotype of ‘lazy
students’.
Recent studies, however, suggest
that this view of under-graduates is
unfair, and blames the student love
of lying-in on their internal body
clock rather than purposeful idleness.
In accordance with this it has also
been asserted that teenagers would
actually work more productively if
their day started later.
Tests carried out by Oxford professor
of neuroscience Russell Foster
examined memory performance in
teenagers in the morning compared
with the afternoon, and found a
Offensive sign in
bar causes upset
Marina King
News Editor
Following a recent matter involving a
promotional poster, the Newcastle bar
Sinners is causing more controversy.
This time, the cause of upset is a
slogan that appeared on four large
screens inside the bar.
The slogan in question states:
“Whoever shows her tits to bar staff
gets a free shot! Girls only!” After
complaining to staff, one student
informed The Courier that the manager
responded: “It’s just for a laugh” and
when asked if they put up similar
signs aimed at men, he assured her
that they did.
However, Sarah Macshane, a student
studying Languages at Newcastle,
was offended by the sign and
explained to The Courier, “I think it
promotes the degradation of women.
I think it promotes binge drinking.
And I think it is demoralising. Women
in this country have been fighting for
equality for nearly a century now but
it seems that at the end of the day
they are just seen as sexual objects
and meat.
“The bar knows its target audience.
The majority of regulars in there are
students with an inherent weakness
for freebies. This manipulation of
the vulnerability of drunken women
to expose certain bits of their body
should be condemned.
“I believe it is an individual’s
personal choice if they want to show
their ‘tits’ for a free shot and clearly
we live in a country where freedom
of choice and expression is allowed.
We should be grateful for this, but
surely to promote and encourage this
kind of behaviour with these slogans
is wrong. So, until they stop doing so,
I believe we should boycott Sinners.”
When asked to speak on the
incident, Sinners were unavailable
for comment.
Sinners, located on Newgate Street
near The Gate, was the topic of debate
recently after a poster appeared in
their window which used a religious
image to promote drinking, as
reported previously by The Courier.
marked improvement in the results
from the latter group. This has since
been taken up by the head-teacher
of Monkseaton Community High
School in North Tyneside, Dr Paul
Kelley, who now plans to have
lessons start at 11am.
It is reported in The Guardian that
he hopes other schools will follow
his lead, where he also states that
he feels the tests “prov[e] that, by
starting later, children’s learning
improves, as does their health.”
Although focussing more closely
on school age teenagers, there is
scope for the results to be applied
to university students too. Kelley
explained to The Guardian that the
tests show that a body clock shift
begins at the age of 10, and although
peaking at 20 at a 2 hour ‘time-shift’,
hence the 11 o’clock rather than 9
o’clock start, does not re-turn to
“pre-teenage level until around 55
years old”.
A recent episode of Horizon also
took up the discussion, examining
the need for everyone to pay more
attention to, and be more aware of,
their body clock.
Although this seems to provide
the perfect excuse for missed early
VOX POP: Marina King and Gina Workman ask...
What are your opinions on the Gaza protest?
Jerry Byrne, English PHD
“I only wish I had known
earlier, I might have joined
them! It is a good thing,
Newcastle has a reputation
of being backward in
terms of politics. We are
showing the way now –
excellent!”
Fiona Underhill, 1st year English
“I think it’s really good, I
definitely support them.
They are quite brave, as
they could get in to trouble
but are doing it anyway”
James Whitehead, 3rd year Biology
Robin Quinn, 3rd year
Politics and History
“I wholly support them.
The conflict in Gaza causes
me great distress; I hope it
is resolved peacefully and
soon, for the sake of all of
us.”
“There’s
a
symbiotic
relationship that exists
between the media and
controversial
political
groups and I don’t think
the University should
support it “
Olly Sutherland, 2nd year
Marine Engineer
Charlotte Waters, 2nd year Geography
“I think it’s rubbish,
getting in the way of
everything.”
A. DEWING
morning lectures, not all students
feel that they are more productive in
the afternoons.
Second year English Literature
student Laura Attridge told The
Courier: “If I get up at 12 o’clock I feel
that I’ve wasted my day, and will
probably get much less done that
afternoon, whereas if I get up earlier
and work, by lunchtime I already
feel my day has been productive
which helps me keep working.” Civil
Engineering student Jamie O’Hare
agrees, commenting that “I like to lie
in, but I definitely get less done if I
do.”
“I admire them for making
a stand and expressing their
opinion.”
Photos: Marina King
C
M
Y
K
NEWS
5
16th March 2009
National
courier.news@ncl.ac.uk
Students exhibit at The Baltic
Samantha Hockney
Florence Stuart-Leach
University Challenge
winners disqualified
The BBC has disqualified the winning
team of University Challenge for
using a contestant who was no longer
a student. Oxford’s Corpus Christi
College were stripped of their title after
The Observer found that Sam Kay, an
undergraduate when filming for the
show first begun, had graduated and
begun working as an accountant for
PricewaterhouseCoopers.
Kay has apologised and said to
ukstudentnews: ‘It was never my
intention to mislead anyone.’ The news
will come as a surprise to team-mate
Gail Trimble who has achieved a lot
of attention in the press over the past
few weeks; being dubbed ‘the human
Google’ and ‘the greatest contestant
ever.’
The title has now been handed over
to the show’s runners up, Manchester
University, whose captain Matthew Yeo
said he was ‘saddened’ to win in such a
way.
Oxford Uni row over
banana game in election
A row has broken out over a pair of
students who were asked to simulate a
sex act in as part of an election to vote in
a new Freshers’ organiser.
The girls were taking part in a hustings
to elect a student to organise events for
the next academic year’s freshers’ week
at Keble College on February 22.
The pair were made to lie in front of
two male students while carrying out
the dare, which involved a race to eat
a banana, in order to win votes. Critics
have condemned the game as ‘laddish’
and ‘demeaning’ while others described
it as ‘hilarious.’
Student jailed for
manslaughter
A judge has sentenced a student to two
yearsimprisonmentforthemanslaughter
of a man in Belfast. Ciaran Laverty, 19,
pleaded guilty to the manslaughter of
Aaron Montgomery, 23, who died in a
fight outside a nightclub on 15 February
2008.
Laverty had been head-butted prior
to the fight, and was mistakenly told
Montgomery was responsible; he went
on to punch Montgomery, who fell, hit
his head on the ground and died.
Laverty was arrested at the scene and
expressed remorse over his actions.
The judge in the case condemned the
sales of cheap alcohol in bars and heavy
drinking which he believed contributed
to the tragedy.
University to offer MA on
the Beatles
The Beatles are set to be hauled into
academia as they become the subject of a
postgraduate course, almost forty years
after their last album was released.
Liverpool Hope University are set to
educate mature students on everything
about the band, from studio sound
and compositions to examining how
Liverpudlian life in the 1930s helped
shape the music which later emerged
from the city. Mike Brocken, senior
lecturer at the university, said it was
about time the Beatles were put under a
microscope.
He told The Guardian: “There have been
over 8,000 books about the Beatles but
there has never been serious academic
study and that is what we are going to
address.” He went on to say the size
of the MA course would depend, but
it would not exceed the maximum 30
places on offer.
Dan Brady
Last Friday saw the launch of Ctrl.
Alt.Shift exhibition at the Baltic
in
association with Newcastle
university students’ LifeWorkArt
programme.
12 Newcastle students were
involved in the production of
artwork which would respond to
the ongoing conflict in Colombia
and be displayed in the high profile
regional art gallery which has had
over 3 million visitors since its
opening in 2002.
They also had the exciting
opportunity of working with
professional London-based artists
Graham Hudson and Matthew Stone
who acted as creative mentors.
Ctrl.Alt.Shift is a youth branch
of the cahrity Christian Aid and
aims to tackle disengagement
of youth culture with issues of
global importance, in this instance,
focusing on conflict in Colbia. The
project highlights that almost all of
the sorld’s conflict zones are located
in developing countries and 80% of
the world’s poorest nations have
suffered from a major conflict in the
past 15 years.
Fine Art students, from all years
of the 4 year course and some
postgraduates were sleected to
take part in the project following
their applications in 2008. Work
began last October with workshops
with their mentors. This included
experimentation with conflict and
peace in the public sphere with
students acting out conflict in the
shop window of a sports retailer
in Eldon Square and handing out
flowers to members of the public
on the streets of Newcastle city
centre. Their work is exhibited
in a separate room on level 5 of
the gallery and includes William
Strong’s homemade riot kit and
Kate Kennedy’s pulsating animation
entitled “breathe:live:act”.
Kate Kennedy described how
her work, product of a 5 month
long process and 3000 photos is a
“breathing, living drawing through
animation. It is like the spirit of
Colombia.” She added, “the project
has been really rewarding. Working
with professional artists is amazing.
I’ve become much more confident
with animation and really enjoyed
the experience.”
Standing by his own exhibits on
the ground floor, an eclectically
dressed Mr Stone told the Courier “I
think all education should be nonhierarchical- teachers can learn from
their students too”. He described
how his works also responded to
the theme of conflict and how all
involved in the project had come to
understand the conflict in Colombia;
“We had a talk from a woman who
had spent two years in peace camps
where they give up all weaponry,
they are very dagerours places to be.
She told incredibly moving stories
and i think we have all had a deep
emotional attachment to the cause
since then.”
Renowned for his cartoons and
unique designs which are featured
on the pages of the Guardian,
Glasgow-based
artist
David
Shrigley was Creative Ambassador
and was present at the exhibition
opening last Friday. The students
and mentors visited his studio in
January where he was able to pass
on some of his expertise and helped
them to focus their ideas.
The exhibition will be open to
visitors until 26 April 2009.
Students
set up bag
business
Christabel Dickson
A group of second year Newcastle
students have come up with the
perfect accessory for students and
festival-goers – ‘The CrashBag’ – a
sleeping bag and an overnight bag
in one.
From the outside The CrashBag
looks like a normal overnight bag, but
inside there are two compartments,
one containing an inbuilt, detachable
sleeping bag and pillow, and the
other designed for holding clothes
and accessories.
The CrashBag is a completely
new idea, providing both a cheaper
and easier means to carry all the
clothes and accessories needed for
up to a three-day stay. It is aimed to
minimise the amount of space taken
up by the sleeping bag with the
additional comfort of a pillow.
Five Newcastle students formed
the company as part of their Business
Enterprise module, and are currently
in the process of perfecting the
detailed designs. The CrashBag will
be manufactured in the North East
and available this summer.
Jack Tetley of J.T. Graphic Designs
said: “I think that the design is
innovative
and
inspirational,
something to look out for in the
future.”
The CrashBag is set to launch on
Friday 5th June – just in time for the
festival season. It is hoped that the
bag will prove popular with the large
numbers of students heading to the
likes of Glastonbury, Benicassim and
Leeds/Reading this summer.
Students who buy a CrashBag in
the first month of sale, and persuade
a friend to buy one too, can enjoy
25% discount.
For more information please email
thecrashbag@hotmail.com
Details are to follow on the website
www.thecrashbag.com
coming
soon.
Survey reveals big reading lie
Christabel Dickson
A national survey released to mark
World Book Day has revealed that
two-thirds of people admit falsely to
having read some of our best-loved
classics in order to impress.
In a poll of the UK’s guilty
reading secrets, readers were asked
anonymously if they had ever
claimed to have read a book when
they had not.
George Orwell’s Nineteen EightyFour heads the top ten list of books
we falsely claim to have read. This
is followed closely by Tolstoy’s
War and Peace (31%), James Joyce’s
Ulysses (25%) and the Bible (24%).
Many also admitted to having lied
about reading classics by the likes of
Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and
the Brontë sisters.
John Douglas, director of the
National Literacy Trust, admitted
to being a culprit. Speaking to The
Guardian he said: “My first degree
was in theology, I got a 2:1 at
Durham. I’m embarrassed to say I
never finished the Old Testament.”
“48% have bought
a book for someone
else but admit to
reading it first”
However, he said that in many
ways the results were reassuring.
“It shows that reading has a huge
cultural value in terms of the way
we present ourselves as intelligent
and engaged people.”
Results, based on a survey of 1,342
people, which was conducted on The
World Book Day website, showed
that in reality we would prefer to
read the likes of J K Rowling (61%),
John Grisham (32%) and Sophie
Kinsella (22%).
In a survey of Newcastle University
students, however, only a quarter
admitted to having lied about
reading a classic novel.
Maria Heneghan, a second year
English Literature student, told
The Courier: “I’ve never lied about
reading a classic as I find it much
easier, and a much less embarrassing
option to admit that I haven’t read
the book, than to fumble my way
through a discussion about it.
“The statistics are not surprising
as I think a few students may feel
pressured to admit they have read
canon literature when they come to
university.”
Other guilty reading secrets
revealed that almost two-thirds of
us (62%) turn over the corners of
books instead of using a bookmark,
and 14 per cent of people admit to
writing in a library book.
Almost half of people questioned
(48%) have bought a book for
someone else but admit to reading
it first, and 20 per cent said they
threw books away, whether they
had actually read them or not.
C
M
Y
K
NEWS
7
16th March 2009
courier.news@ncl.ac.uk
Students challenged to ‘get fruity’
Rebecca Richards
You may be forgiven for thinking that
the Union resembled a fruit and veg
market on Tuesday of last week.
It was all a result of the fourth
Newcastle University Apprentice
task which was taking place, with
students really entering into the
entrepreneurial spirit of the day.
The challenge, sponsored by
PricewaterhouseCoopers, involved
teams sourcing fruit and vegetables
from Grainger Market to sell outside
the Union, with the team who made
the most profit walking away with a
£200 prize.
“Success amongst
the teams varied
wildly with results
ranging from a loss
of £7.15 to a massive
profit of £38.50”
Success amongst the teams varied
wildly with results ranging from a loss
of £7.15 to a massive profit of £38.50.
A wide range of inventive strategies
were employed by the participants
including making smoothies with
cocktail umbrellas, selling fruit
skewers, wearing ‘Have you had your
5 a day?’ branded t-shirts and selling
apples in aid of Red Nose Day.
The winning team made up and
sold ‘fruit plates’ and were the team
who marked their produce up most
highly, a factor in their success.
“We wanted to put lots of emphasis
on the 5 a day thing, as we were selling
plates of fruit with 3 of the 5 a day,”
Ross Logan, member of the winning
team, told The Courier. “Overall, I
thought it was a really good task,
really well run and it was nice to have
the opportunity to interact with local
suppliers.”
This was the first Apprentice
Challenge the team had entered, but
they have said they will definitely
consider getting involved in future
challenges.
Francesca Cooper, whose team
came second with their ‘An Apple
for Red Nose Day’ campaign, said,
“We chose to give all our proceeds to
Comic Relief which not only boosted
our sales but also made the task much
more worthwhile. It was a great
experience and we are really looking
forward to the next Apprentice task!”
The task was intended to test
entrants’ bargaining skills and was
marked on how enterprising they
were when sourcing and selling their
products, as well as the amount of
profit that was made.
Sarah Grant, who organises the
event, told The Courier, “The standard
and number of teams who participated
was unbelievably high considering
the teams had less than one day to
prepare. It just goes to show how
much entrepreneurial spirit these
students naturally have.”
The
Newcastle
University
Apprentice is an on-going event,
run by the Careers Service, which
encourages students to compete in
business skills for cash prizes.
The next chance to take part in the
event is in April in a dragons-den
style challenge, testing participants
initiative, creative and persuasive
skills, with the chance of winning
£200 to boot.
Email s.j.grant@ncl.ac.uk for further
details.
Volunteer with Scouts!
32 000 young people want to be
Scouts but can’t because there are
not enough volunteers!
Volunteering for Scouts is giving
you a chance to improve your CV
(we all know how good volunteering
looks on a CV!) and will get employers
to have a second look at it.
You can get involved in a lot of
exciting activities like rafting, rock
climbing and scuba diving - just to
name a few! If you don’t want to go
extreme you can specialise in other
areas such as travel, technology,
art, music, community projects and
much more. And no, scouting is
NOT just for boys!
Make new friends, do something
you really like and add depth to your
CV at the same time - what can be
better?!
For more information go to www.
jointheadventure.com, or contact me
via: nesvarbi@gmail.com
Poor Kunst
Laptop
stolen from
Robinson
library
Union officer election results announced
Georgia Morgan-Wynne was elected
as Activities Officer, Emma Budge
received the most votes to become
Education Officer and current Student
Support Officer Pete Mercer was
successful in his bid for a second term
in his position.
In the part-time positions, RAG
Rabbit were the team chosen to run
next year’s RAG Week, Vicky Jones
won Campaigns Officer, Isabel Owens
won LGBT and Lil Collingham was
selected as the next Chair of Union
Council. James O’Sullivan will be the
next Convenor of Debates and Katie
Ball and Thomas Delamere will be
the Ethics & Environment Officers
next year.
The record voters turn out
complimented an overwhelmingly
positive campaign in which very
few rule breaks or complaints were
registered by candidates and all
sabbatical positions were contested.
The Courier would like congratulate
all of the winning candidates and wish
them the good luck in their roles.
Lena Beldeninova
Joseph Steele
R.RICHARDS
A record 22% of Newcastle University
students cast of combined total of
21,038 votes in last week’s Union
election to appoint their Union officers
for the next academic year.
Throughout a week in which campus
came alive with the usual multicoloured bands of campaigners, their
posters and several home-made flags,
35 hopeful students battled for votes
in a bid to become either full or parttime officers charged with running
Newcastle University’s student’s
union next year.
In the hotly contested position
of Athletics Union Officer, Vicky
Tyas emerged victorious after stiff
competition from her four rivals when
the results were read out last Friday.
In the race for Presidency, Andi
Georgiou was elected as the Union’s
first female figurehead in several
years and in the election for Editor
of the Courier, Sports Editor David
Coverdale was chosen to run your
student newspaper next year.
In the remaining full-time positions,
News in Brief
THE WINNERS
Full-Time Officers
President - Andi Georgiou
Student Support Officer
- Pete Mercer
Editor of the Courier David Coverdale
Education Officer - Emma Budge
AU Officer - Vicky Tyas
Activities Officer - Georgia
Morgan-Wynne
Part-Time Officers
RAG Officers - Sarah Fearns
& Holly Hardaker
Campaigns Officer - Vicky Jones
LGBT Officer - Isabel Owens
Chair of Union Council
- Lil Collingham
Convenor of Debates James O’Sullivan
Ethics & Enviroment - Katie
Ball & Thomas Delamere
University staff are reminding
students to be vigilant after a man in
his 40s stole a laptop from a student
in the Robinson library at around
8:50pm on Thursday 5th March.
Speaking to The Courier, student
Maria Heneghan who witnessed the
theft said;
“An older man approached a
vacant desk in the main study area
on level 3, there was an open laptop
and shoulder bag on the desk.
I noticed him acting suspiciously
and he saw me watching him, he
attempted to pretend he was reading
a book until I turned away, at which
point he placed a large rucksack on
the desk and hid the laptop inside.
He then made a quick exit towards
the main entrance.”
Security guards at the Robinson
library were informed and the Police
called immediately, however the man
was not caught and security were
unsure as to how the man had gained
access to the library. A statement
was taken from the girl whose laptop
was stolen.
Wayne Connonlly, acting University
librarian told The Courier;
“Fortunately we have very few
incidents of this sort in the Library
due to our access control system,
and the general vigilance of Library
staff. However we are aware that we
are not able to monitor every area
of the building all the times and we
do encourage people to be careful of
their belongings. “
Final year art students Joseph Steele
and Tom Whitty put on a sensational
art exhibition showdown last Friday
27th February at Hanger 51 with
‘Tom Whitty vs Joseph Steele, art vs
enterprise.’
The show attracted over 200 people
in just over 2 days. The focus of the
exhibition was the rivalry between
the two artists and the show posed
the question; Are artists painters
of pictures and deep thinkers, or
socially engaged entrepreneurs?
The pair put the show on with
a budget that Tom describes as;
‘Absolutely bugger all money’ and
Joe calls ‘a shortfall in liquid assets.’
Tom Whitty has travelled the
world and come back with a head
full of colour, humble genius and
socialist leanings. He proclaimed
before the art of ‘I’m going to serve
continuous beatdown’ which he did
on the night with 6 monumental
abstract paintings exploding with
colour displayed alongside four
films
portraying
kaleidoscopic
transformations.
Tom also exhibited a photo of
Turkish Riot Police. Tom was tear
gassed by them shortly after taking
the snap.
A year and a half ago Joseph
Steele set up his own business
‘getonthewall.com’ which provides
a brand name for an arts enterprise
dedicated to giving value to the
phrase ‘emerging art and culture in
the North East.’
Steele’s main contribution to the
exhibition came in the form of 6
large digital prints set in huge metal
frames, and a speech he delivered on
the opening night.
The works touched on subjects such
as religion, the irrelevance of TV, the
sex appeal of military hardware and
a comment on the ‘Alpha Course’ –
The Church of England in the 21st
Century.
Both artists have gained great
publicity from this show but the
question remains; is an artist someone
who paints pictures or someone who
drives culture?
Whitty and Steele flexed their
muscles in this innovative and
powerful show, great things are
expected of both in the future. Watch
this space.
8
COMMENT
courier.news@ncl.ac.uk
16th March 2009
comment
The true
cost of the
habit
JAMES TRUEMAN examines the dark reality of
underground drug cartels in Mexico and suggests
we may not be as unaffected as we like to think.
T
he dismantling of the high-flying
South American drug syndicates such
as the Medellin and Cali cartels of
Colombia in the mid 1990s, brought to
the world a hope that the age of narcotrafficking was nearing an end and
that the efforts of the United States in
their ‘war on drugs’ were beginning
to have a real impact upon the global
issue of international drug-trafficking
and drug abuse.
But the reality of this industry,
worth an estimated $400 billion a
year, actually becoming a shadow of
its former self, was something that
you would have to have left to the
wishful thinkers of this world to have
pondered upon.
It was inevitable that someone would
take over the reins of the cocaine
industry left by Pablo Escobar and his
associates, and this is where Mexican
cartels duly stepped in. The hole in
the lucrative American market was
gaping, and it was only a matter of time
before a new batch of entrepreneurial
individuals filled the void, and the
Mexican
narcotrafficantes
have
certainly left their mark.
The cartel’s rivalry to capture the
unprecedented potential of the US
cocaine market and an ongoing conflict
with the government has created an
untenably violent situation in Mexico,
but this escalating problem isn’t just
a few street hoodlums shooting each
other with spud guns. The Gulf and
Sinaloa cartels have private armies of
ex-elite force soldiers, ready to fight
to the end to secure the future of their
respective cartels, which is making
murder in Mexican cities a daily
occurrence.
With over six thousand people
being killed in 2008 in drug-related
murders and over a thousand having
already been killed this year alone, the
statistics are nothing short of shocking.
From this there are real concerns that
the Mexican government is on the
brink of losing control of its cities, and
that the country is nearing complete
collapse under the lawlessness of the
ever expanding and ever ruthless
drug cartels.
But there are fears about the
danger of this conflict spilling over
from the streets of Mexico, into the
United States. The states on the US/
Mexico border such as Texas, New
Mexico and California are the main
smuggling routes into America for the
cartels, and it is thought that it is only
a matter of time before the murder
and destruction demonstrated in
cities such as Tijuana become a reality
in the US. This comes as the cartels
try to assert even more control on
the US drugs market, which can only
be of pressing concern to the Obama
administration.
It would be very easy to think that
this problem is one that will not affect
us in the UK, as we have an entire
ocean separating us from the violence
and bloodshed that is happening
there. But as another western nation
with an undoubted penchant for
recreational drugs, the UK surely
cannot be completely immune from
the problems of Mexican narcotrafficking.
“Over six
thousand people
were killed in 2008
in drug-related
murders and over
a thousand have
already been killed
this year alone...”
Globalisation has connected the
world economy in such a huge way
and the drug economy is no exception
to this. The internationalisation of the
drugs trade has meant that even UK
drug traffickers have connections and
links with South American cartels,
and these ties will undoubtedly bring
a new wave of drugs to the UK, carting
with it all the related problems.
With recent reports finding that
African nations such as Senegal are
now being used as drop-off points
for South American cocaine to be
then smuggled into Europe, which
can only further demonstrate that the
scope of the drug cartels operations
are nothing short of worldwide, and
that their strides into the continent are
only another reason to be worried that
a new set of drug related problems
could be rearing its ugly head in this
country.
Although it would be ridiculous
to consider that the situation in the
UK would ever resemble the one
happening in Mexico, the nature of
the drugs trade is to solve differences
through violent means, and if the
industry grows enough here, then the
rivalry and violence that comes with it
could be demonstrated on the streets
of the UK’s biggest cities, and that
is something that we simply cannot
ignore.
Charity begins at home
As Red Nose Day fever swept the nation last week, FLORENCE
STUART-LEACH discusses charity and the difficulty many collectors
face in raising money on the street.
“E
xcuse me madam, could
you spare a minute of your
time?”…such is the echo of charity
workers, desperately trying to flag
down any pedestrians who will
glance in their direction on the way
down Northumberland Street.
Unfortunately, half of the
stampede are heading for Greggs
and the other half for KFC
apparently (always an unusually
long queue, don’t you think?).
However pitying I am of the poor,
charitable souls who work to
obtain a direct debit from frenzied,
otherwise occupied shoppers in the
shadow of a credit crunch, I must
admit it can be frustrating when I
am stopped in my tracks to have
a conversation I didn’t ask for but
was just too polite to avoid.
It is not that I don’t believe in
charity or am one of those “charity
starts at home” types (except when
people say that, they invariably
mean, “I don’t give a shit”). In
fact I have plenty of experience
of collecting myself since being
involved with Kids’ Action
Overseas (Newcastle university
charity which fundraises for a
Tanzanian orphanage and other
projects).
Even so, when I am accosted by
a young man from WWF (World
Wildlife Fund) with a panda on
his shirt who invites me to join
the mountain guerrilla-saving
campaign but then asks me why
I am not going to set up a direct
debit for his charity when I decline
his offer, I can’t help but feel a little
annoyed.
It is my prerogative which
charities I donate to, when and how.
To add to this, my explanation that
I support various other charities,
none of which tend to be of the
animal variety I am afraid, he asks
in a dismissive tone, “Ohh, so
you’re a people person are you?!”.
Yes I bloody am a people person.
He’s not the only one who has
questioned me too closely in my
opinion; last week a lady from
another charity stopped me for ‘a
minute of my time’ but went on to
ask me every question she could
think, all entirely irrelevant to the
ultimate question which I knew
was looming;
“So what are you doing in town
today?”, “What are you doing after
town”, “Where do you work?”,
“Are you a student?”, “what are
you studying?”…
The questioning proceeded for a
good minute while I impatiently
awaited the point of her stopping
me, so that I could explain to her
that I’m a ‘people person’ and not
so enamoured with cats.
At risk of having a go at
fundraisers, I must stress that I have
a lot of respect for them. I think it
is one of the hardest jobs around.
Asking strangers for money is
hard and street collecting is like
becoming the most unpopular
person in town as people take a
wide berth, taking long routes
around benches, bins, fruit stalls to
escape your presence.
Having experienced the other side
of the collection bucket I am all too
familiar with passers by becoming
suddenly captivated with their
phones, the ground or engrossed
in important conversation. I have
heard once too many, the actually
quite offensive, rhetoric of people
who don’t give out of principle…
”Why should I when I don’t see
it being spent?” and I have had to
shield my collection bucket full
of coppers for Tanzanian orphans
from drunken idiots at the Gate
trying to stick their head in it.
So in fact my purpose here is not
to poke fun at the brave collectorsthey are just good people who care
about charity, whether it’s people
or pandas that motivate them. But
even I have to acknowledge the
controversial nature of charity.
However, one exception to this
rule, one wonderfully British
phenomenon which seemingly
draws together all elements of
society under one big celebratory
umbrella is, of course, Comic
Relief. Since 1985 following severe
famine in Ethiopia, Red Nose Day
has been a biennial event which
has captivated the nation; schools
around the country treat Red
Nose Day with the same sense of
occasion as a religious festival with
lessons suspended, own clothes
donned and special rituals such as
teacher humiliation which replace
the usual double maths.
It is like a re-emergence of the
practice of Carnival in the middle
Ages when roles were reversed,
kings became paupers and peasants
became princes and of course the
usual jesters are accompanied by a
nation of self taught comedians…
everyone’s a right hoot on Red
Nose Day.
But why is it so successful? To
date, Comic Relief has raised well
over half a billion pounds which
goes to projects in the UK and
Africa. Every time the amount
raised exceeds that of the two
years before and the generosity
of the nation is something which
surpasses expectations every time.
Perhaps it is Comic Relief’s
‘Golden Pound Principle’ which
appeals to people’s giving nature;
every single pound donated
goes to the charity, not on admin
or expensive celebrities but
community projects in inner cities
in the UK or street children in
South Africa.
Or maybe it’s with the
endorsement of celebrities and the
compelling, tear provoking trailers
which come to us on the night of
entertainment. Whatever it is, it
has so impressed the world that
other countries have adopted the
format, the USA and New Zealand
among them.
An event of unprecedented
generosity which dispels all myths
of charity fatigue and brought to
us Peter Kay’s Is this the way to
Amarillo?, that Dawn French/
Hugh Grant kiss and Chris Moyles
atop the highest freestanding
mountain in the world has got to
be a greater symbol of national
pride than any I can think of.
C
M
Y
K
COMMENT
16th March 2009
9
courier.news@ncl.ac.uk
The new targets of terrorism?
After the Sri Lankan cricket team were attacked in Lahore earlier this month, RALPH MATHERS discusses the
dangerous relationship between sport and politics
T
he shocking attacks on the
Sri Lankan cricket team in Lahore
this month realised a fear that the
sporting world has held for some
time; that sport has finally entered
the realm of politics.
The shootings, injuring nine
players and officials and killing six
policemen and two civilians, have
opened the lid on a situation which
will change the way international
sport is carried out throughout the
world. This might seem a peculiar
sentiment given that cricket has
often gone hand in hand with acts of
terrorism but the crucial difference
about the Lahore shootings is that
the players themselves were the
target.
The international sporting stage
has always been used as a platform
for political means by sportsmen
and women. Immediately called to
mind is the Black Power salute of
African American athletes Tommie
Smith and John Carlos at the 1968
Mexico City Olympics.
In more recent years, one of the
most poignant images was the
wearing of black armbands by
Zimbabwean
cricketers
Andy
Flower and Henry Olongo at the
2003 Cricket World Cup, to mourn
the “death of democracy” in their
country, under the rule of tyrant
Robert Mugabe. Sport is the ultimate
platform to lead such protests
with its ever growing profile and
mainstream media coverage. The
Lahore attacks reveal the flipside of
such a high profile world.
Cricket, because of some of the
countries it is played in, is the most
obvious sport in which the divide
with terrorism has been growing
smaller. In 2002 in Karachi, outside
the New Zealand cricket team hotel,
a car bomb killed 14 people.
During
England’s
recent
cricketing tour to India, there were
numerous coordinated attacks in
Mumbai, killing at least 173 people
and injuring over 700. When the
England team returned to India,
they did so under unprecedented
security procedures. There was
bomb netting in stadiums, bag
searches every twenty metres or
so, and presidential-esque security
when they travelled to and from
their hotel.
When they toured Pakistan four
years ago their then coach, Duncan
Fletcher, was criticised for going
overboard with security. Last week,
however, he confirmed what many
have feared for some time, that: “In
the world of the terrorist, everyone is
a potential target: women, children,
and most definitely international
sportsmen”.
The more the world is ravaged by
terrorists, the tighter security will
be. Such security will isolate the
players further from the real world,
making them more valuable targets
for extremists. Sadly, it seems the
days of sportsmen and women
brushing shoulders with the public
are drawing to a close.
It’s simple to dismiss these events
as happening elsewhere, to say this
would never happen in England.
But let’s not forget that London
was the target of terrorism just two
years ago. In the wake of the Lahore
shootings the Arsenal manager
Arsène Wenger confirmed that
terrorism is a real threat in all sports,
“it has happened to us, where we
have alerts at games that we played
at home” he said.
Startlingly he continued by saying
that “you don’t get any police
escort before games – they refuse,
especially in London”. The sad truth
is that as the fame and celebrity of
sports stars grow so does their
potential position as targets.
The role of sport as a political
tool has not just changed in terms
of terrorism. The 2008 Beijing
Olympics and the upcoming 2010
South African Football World Cup
have been used their respective
governments to advertise their
countries to the world. Nothing
wrong with that. China’s profile and
power has been growing rapidly for
many years and the extraordinarily
lavish Olympics they hosted
demonstrated the potential of
this country. In a different way,
post-apartheid South Africa has
been tormented by racial division,
corruption and HIV/Aids. They
want to use the World Cup to show
the “real” South Africa, one that has
overcome its past. Nothing wrong
with that either. But both events
hide astounding truths.
Such is the contemporary profile
of the Olympic Games that they are
not confined to just sporting status.
They have political and social
importance as well, standing for
peace, unity and equality.
As China continues its mass
expansion and modernisation the
world powers had a final chance to
condemn China’s horrific human
rights abuses and illegal occupation
of Tibet. By presenting China with the
Olympics – the pinnacle of sporting
achievement – however the world
is seen to condone China’s actions.
Sport should be, but unfortunately
isn’t, a neutral medium and now
that it has political influence, it
should be used as a force for good.
The Football World Cup in South
Africa is an entirely different
prospect. The fall of apartheid,
sadly, brought South Africa as
many problems as it relieved. It is
a nation still diseased by corruption
and racism. By presenting it with
the World Cup, the sporting
community was offering a show of
support, entrusting it with a huge
international sporting event. Such
a decision was heralded by Nelson
Mandela as the coming of age for his
nation. And it’s not as if South Africa
is a low profile sporting nation,
they are Rugby World Champions
and their cricket team is currently
ranked number one in the world.
The World Cup was meant to herald
a new age for their country. With
£500 million worth of investment
they promised to build new
schools, housing and much needed
infrastructure. Instead, there has
been corruption, illegal evictions,
appalling working conditions and
even murder.
The spectacle will, presumably,
come and go successfully but the
legacy it leaves behind will not
be of a country finally unified
and strengthened. There will still
be racial division, poverty and
corruption. The sporting world has
stood by while the South African
government has milked the World
Cup for all its worth.
On many levels, the world of
international sport is now a fully
fledged political tool. Let’s hope
the world starts standing up to
terrorism, human rights abuses and
corruption. The profile and function
of sport has changed irreversibly
and, sadly, it doesn’t look like it’s
for the better.
Should Chambers be given a second chance?
After being shunned in the sporting world for his drug abuse, SIMON MURPHY and SARAH SCOTT ask,
should we forgive and forget? Should Dwain Chambers be allowed to return to athletics?
NO
Sarah Scott
S
hould the past be just that,
the past? British sprinter Dwain
Chambers is hoping so; after his
ban from the sport for drugs use
Chambers hopes that the British
public will forget his chequered
past and open their hearts to him
and once again accept him as a great
British athlete and as of Saturday,
the third fastest man in history over
60m.
However, forgetting the disgrace
he brought to the sport will not be
easy considering Chambers has
just released his autobiography
revealing the dark secrets and depth
of his drug use at a time when he
was a sports hero.
Why should he be given a second
chance when at the same time he
is cashing in on the mistakes of
his past, not putting them behind
him? Despite still displaying a
great talent for the sport as was
seen when he claimed gold after the
men’s 60m at the European Indoor
Championships, when he reached
the rostrum any applause was
drowned out by an onslaught of
boos and jeers. No matter how much
he wants everyone to move beyond
his past, he cannot expect it to be an
easy ride in light of him continuing
to publicise a drugged up image of
the sport.
The decision of Charles Van
Commenee that Chambers should
not be allowed to compete as a
member of Great Britain sprint
relay team at this summer’s World
Championships in Berlin appears
to be very appropriate despite the
fact that it may cost Britain another
medal.
Why should Chambers be given
the honour of representing his
country when he continues to bring
dark clouds and questions over drug
use in the sport, bringing suspicion
on other genuine athletes whose
achievements are overshadowed
by the controversy compiled by
one athlete? I’m not suggesting that
Chambers has not changed his ways
but the disgrace and continued dark
shadows he persists to cast over
the sport should not be so easily
forgiven.
Those athletes who bring true
honour to the country should be
the ones given the privilege of
competing for their country, not
those who after supposedly learning
from their past, continue to cash in.
YES
“THG is
a banned
steroid which Simon Murphy
had been E
tweaked by
chemists
to make it
undetectable
by normal
dope tests”
BBC Website
veryone deserves a second
chance, don’t they?
Sprinter Dwain Chambers tested
positive for banned steroid THG in
October 2003 and has subsequently
served a two year athletics ban,
whilst also incurring a life-time
Olympic ban.
He has been made to pay back
all prize money earned during the
period of his career that was affected
by his drug abuse- meaning he owes
over £120,000 to the International
Association of Athletics Federations.
In addition, he has been shunned
from the majority of major European
athletics meets, stunting his potential
to repay debts.
He also happens to be the second
fastest Briton to ever walk the planethis personal best of 9.97- ran while
clean- is bettered only by Linford
Christie, another sprinter tainted by
drugs use.
Last week, Chambers smashed
the European 60m record, winning
gold at the European Indoor
Championships. The £2500 he
earned will be little consolation to
the disgraced runner, who has faced
wide-spread condemnation from the
athletics world for his actions.
Chambers is a reformed man. He
has publicly denounced his drug
abuse, highlighting his remorse
at a recent “Tackling Doping in
Sport” conference. Despite serving
the sentence of his crime, the
sporting community insists he
should continue to be punished and
prevented from competing.
Whatever happened to forgive
and forget? In no way do I condone
drug cheating but I think the path of
redemption should be open to all.
At 30, Chambers is in the twilight
of his career and has undoubtedly
realised the magnitude of his
mistake.The athletic community
should embrace Dwain’s comeback
and highlight his story; he is a
shining example of how drug use can
worsen performance. As he readily
admits: “I did it because I wanted
to be the best in the world and I
thought it would take me there. And
it didn’t, I didn’t need drugs. It made
me worse, it made my life worse.”
If he continues to beat back the
critics by breaking records and
winning medals he will surely be
a perfect illustration of how being
clean is actually more beneficial than
taking drugs.
10
COMMENT
courier.news@ncl.ac.uk
16th March 2009
Charitable achievement, A good education
or celebrity self
held to ransom?
promotion?
As nine celebrities recently climbed to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro to
raise money for charity, RALPH MATHERS explains why he thinks
they might not deserve so much praise for their achievement.
Y
ou surely can’t have missed it?
They have been dubbed “heroes”
and their story has been splattered
all over the television, radio and
newspapers. This week they will
meet Prime Minister Gordon
Brown and a documentary telling
their story will be broadcast on
ITV. I am, of course, talking about
the nine celebrities who recently
conquered Mount Kilimanjaro to
raise money for Comic Relief.
Now this article isn’t dismissing
the achievement of climbing
Africa’s tallest mountain nor of
raising £1.5 million for charity but
as I watched their homecoming
on the news I couldn’t help but
feel slightly ashamed. The whole
trip stank of a publicity stunt
and continued the ignorant and
patronising celebrity attitude to
shown to Africa in recent years, set
off by Bono, Geldof and the 2005
Live 8 concerts.
It’s brilliant to be back”, said
Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles, “we spent
the week in hell”. Moyles was
surely referring to the climb itself
but the look of relief on the faces
of the celebrities as they touched
down on British soil made me
wonder whether he actually was
referring to Tanzania (by the by, an
alarming number of people think
that Kilimanjaro is in Kenya). TV
Presenter Ben Shephard heightened
such suspicions, “the fact that we
had a toilet on the plane was just a
luxury”, he said. As if there are no
toilets in Tanzania.
The problem with their challenge
is threefold. Firstly, it puts these
celebrities on a pedestal, suggesting
that they’re unique and supremely
talented for completing such a
task. Secondly, their comments
and behaviour points to the
ignorance of the celebrity culture
that dominates our nation. Thirdly,
their jetting in and out of Tanzania
at a breakneck speed betrays a
western attitude that is turning
Africa into a glorified theme park.
With our celebrities being hailed
as heroic and brave I couldn’t
help but wonder how hard it is
to actually climb Kilimanjaro.
Standing at 5891 metres tall, it is
the highest point in Africa and
the tallest free standing mountain
in the world. The climb, however,
doesn’t actually involve any
climbing; it is more of a five to six
day trek. The climb is technically
easy and the key to climbing it,
experts say, is acclimatisation not
skill. So, basically, you need to be
fit and take it slow. As many as
25,000 people successfully climb
the mountain every year, meaning
65 people reach the summit every
day. Suddenly, our heroes don’t
seem so wonderful, not helped
by the fact that every step of the
way they had a production crew
and safety team consisting of 120
people.
By this point, many readers
probably think I am being spiteful.
Of course, raising £1.5million
for Comic Relief is a wonderful
achievement. Not so wonderful
is imagining the collective worth
of these nine celebrities. Even less
wonderful is the fact that as soon as
they had completed the challenge,
Barlow spent £50,000 chartering a
private jet to fly them out of there;
out of one of the poorest countries
in the world, with a GDP per capita
of just £1000 (that’s an average
annual salary of £1000 per person).
Not so impressive now.
My point is this. There is a rapidly
growing popularity for travelling
to Africa for safari holidays and
challenges such as climbing
Kilimanjaro. However, many of
these trips do not take in any of the
actual country. Tourists fly in, they
take photos of as many animals as
possible, climb a mountain, buy a
few souvenirs and fly out again.
There is no respect or interest in
the countries themselves. Most
tourists probably have no interest
in Tanzania or Kenya, or the
many other sub Saharan countries
offering safari opportunities; they
cite the 1998 US Embassy bombings
in Nairobi and Dar es Salaam and
declare it too dangerous.
As someone who has been
fortunate enough to spend time in
Tanzania I can happily report that
it is a truly remarkable country.
Beautiful, vibrant and populated
by some of the friendliest folk on
the planet, I loved every minute
of my time there. There is a solid
infrastructure, the country is at
peace and it possesses some of
the finest, and most mesmerising,
natural
phenomena.
The
patronising tones of our heroic
celebrities suggested that they had
made absolutely no effort to interact
with this fascinating country.
This is an attitude which has
sadly filtered back to our own
nation. The 2005 Live8 concerts
did little to celebrate Africa – there
were hardly any African artists
performing. The emphasis is not
on these fascinating countries, but
rather on the opportunities they
hold; Kilimanjaro, the Big 5, the
Masai Mara tribe etc. For these
reasons the governments of these
countries have been forced to
whore themselves out to tourism.
The famous Masai Mara tribe
have been evicted from their lands
because, due to their nomadic
lifestyle, they have no ownership
status upon their lands. They’ve
been relocated to make way for
more tourism.
Wanting to attract tourists is
completely understandable on the
part of the African governments,
they
provide
vital
income.
However, it would be nice if these
nine “celebrities” – consisting of
pop stars and television presenters
– set a precedent by praising the
country they had just visited. We
live in a society which holds such
figures as role models so instead
of praising their own achievement
they could praise the country
where the money they raise is
ultimately meant to go. Instead, all
we heard was how hard it was and
how amazing it was to be home.
You’d be mistaken for thinking
that they were British servicemen
and women just returning home
after a tour of duty. But sadly the
death of our soldiers is no longer
front page news.
Instead, we have Gary Barlow and
his pals to look up to. Throwing
money at Africa and washing
our hands of any guilt won’t help
anyone. A little less ignorance
would be a good start.
CHARLIE OVEN considers the cost of a ‘good’
education and asks , why is the best not available
to everyone?
Jwithadecancer
Goody’s much publicised fight
is nearing its tragic end
and has taken the form of a harrowing
drama played to an audience of
millions. It is her dying wish that her
two young sons should be educated
privately which has particularly
caught the attention of educational
analysts. It is clear that her decision
is understandable if not necessarily
agreeable. After all it is a natural
instinct that parents would want the
best for their children. However it
is Goody’s belief that ‘the best’ is
conveyed with an education that only
money can buy that raises startling
questions about the standards of
state education in Britain.
Once
again we see this country subject to
the dated debate of private versus
comprehensive and the distinctions
between the two arguably emphasise
the elitist age which we remain in.
It cannot be doubted that parents
should be given the freedom to choose
what type of education their child
receives. However, such freedom is not
always all inclusive in nature. In short
if parents can’t cough up the money
they don’t have the choice. Therefore
decisions that affect a child’s future
can often be pre determined meaning
your schooling life can be one big
lottery; it’s simply a case of whether
you have the right numbers. This can
particularly be applied to a family’s
location to their local state school. It is
not uncommon that many inner urban
state schools have academically fared
worse in GCSE and A Level than their
suburban and rural counterparts.
Newly qualified teachers that
choose to teach in the state sector in
inner London are practically given
compensation in additional wage pay
outs due to the possibility of falling
victim to frequent class indiscipline.
This is just one of the many turn
offs that helps to influence a parents
decision to go private.
The past rise in private school
numbers not only discredits the state
education system but illustrates its
ever increasing faults. In 2007 the
Independent reported how increasing
numbers of parents were turning their
back on the state schooling system
and opting for the private alternative
with a record 511,677 private
educated pupils and 0.8 per cent rise
culminating in the biggest increase
since 2003. This helps to go some way
in questioning the long term benefits
of Labour’s 1997 education reforms
which saw increasing investment in
the state sector. One must pose the
question: do the supposed strengths
of private schools emphasise the
weaknesses of state schools which
so drastically need to be amended?
Concerns over state school class sizes,
confusion about the introduction of
the government’s new vocational
diplomas and fears that sciences and
foreign languages are being squeezed
out of state schools were factors in
parents’ decisions to go private.
Another noteworthy consideration
that shows the overwhelming
differences between state and private
schools is in the levels of academic
achievement as seen in examination
results. The Times recently reported
that more than 10,000 privately
educated students got three A grades
last year, compared with just under
7,500 children at comprehensive
schools. This is despite independent
schools educating only 7 per cent of
all pupils. Considering that three A
grades is the general standard required
to win a place at top universities, we
can say with assertion that there is
a gulf in qualification grades that
overall distincts between state and
private pupils. This suggests any
government ideal of social mobility
via state education has stalled and
stagnated. Essentially some children
are fortunate to escape the negative
traits of state education. Nevertheless,
what becomes of those that are
unwillingly trapped in the system?
Should their ambitions and aspirations
find themselves weighed down by the
state’s failures? Many parents feel
cheated that their children can’t go
to the “best” possible school because
they can’t afford it. However, it can be
argued that in recent months Labour
has introduced several solutions that
resolve these problems.
“More than 10,000
privately educated
students got three
A grades last year,
compared with just
under 7,500 children at
comprehensive school”
As part of the Government’s ‘aim
higher’ scheme, lower entry grades
are being offered by a group of
universities to the brightest and best
applicants from poor backgrounds.
However, such a scheme does
not solve the problems within the
state school system itself, it merely
emphasises them. We must be asking
why the correct measures have
not been introduced to nourish the
potential of talented poor pupils prior
to university application, enabling
them to achieve the standard entry
grades. It seems that the Government
is seeking a quick fix which fails
to address underperformance in
secondary education. During this
period of economic instability the
assessment of standards in state
education will be greater than ever.
With a greater number of people
having to be frugal with their finances
the option of private education which
was once available to some parents
shall no longer be there. With this in
mind, it is more than plausible in the
foreseeable future that the state sector
will become host to a mass exodus of
former private educated pupils. This
arguably means that state education
will now carry an even greater
responsibility for the futures of the
younger generation.
Although there is damning evidence
which suggests that state education
is riddled with faults, it would be
wrong and stereotypical to stress
that there are no exceptions to the
rule. Nevertheless, the success of
one state school does not justify the
failure of another. Universal high
standards are needed in order to close
the gap between the state and private
education sector and in doing so
encourage social mobility. Until that
gap is closed there is a great deal of
credibility in Goody’s comments that
she simply wants ‘hers boys to have
a better start in life.’ This is the sad
truth governed by reality rather than
principle.
C
M
Y
K
INBOX
16th March2009
11
editor.union@ncl.ac.uk
inbox
To let The Courier know what you think of our stories, just email editor.
union@ncl.ac.uk, or if you’d prefer to send us your opinion in a quick
message, contact the Courier Mobile on 07964 921116
‘’ Were the
two articles
juxtaposed in
order for opinion
to balance
itself? Or is
this just poor
journalism?”
Dear Editor,
In response to ‘Working class
shuns University’ and ‘Leading
UK Universities accused of social
engineering’ (with opinion) in Issue
1188
It’s both frustrating and perplexing
that these articles were placed just
three pages from each other last
issue.
They completely cancel out one
another for instance, with one
claiming that universities are being
‘elitist’ and then the next, just a few
articles later, attacking the system
for a justified attempt in dealing
with this. There are always differing
views on access to higher education
in the UK, but surely it’s the job of
our student media to pick apart the
debate and to at least attempt a truth
in amongst the figures.
To add insult to injury was the
scarcity in detail and clarity the
articles offered themselves. Indeed,
Nic Fidler’s ‘opinion’ demonstrated
‘’ What it would
do is encourage
less irresponsible
drinking and
people ending the
night by vomiting
into a pint glass”
Dear Editor,
In response to ‘How much is too
much?’ in Issue 1188
Although Sarah Scott puts forward
a good argument I have to say I
disagree with some of her points.
I do not think that by introducing a
limit on cheap drink deals that we will
become a ‘nanny state’ as Miss Scott
claims. Though the government has
not made it more expensive ‘for us to
buy a McDonalds or stop 2 for 1 deals
on chocolate bars’ it has launched a
healthy eating campaign.
Obesity related diseases are never
out of the media lime-light and I
think that there is too much emphasis
on this rather than the damage that
binge drinking causes.
Enjoying a drink or two, or two
large glasses of wine as Miss Scott
states, certainly is your prerogative
but irradiating cheap deals would not
a lack of insight and intelligence as
he seemed unable to move beyond
his
comprehensive
schoolboydone-good position by offering the
view that positive discrimination in
higher education admissions was an
abhorrence.
Fidler made claims which made
no sense at all. He writes: ‘After
all, if the socio-economic divide
was so terrible, wouldn’t all state
school students get exactly the same
results in comparison to private
school students?’ Err, no - the socioeconomic divide between those in
the poorest and those in the ‘best’
schools is already significant, and
thus corresponding exam results are
the complete opposite of ‘exactly the
same’.
The testimony to this is in the
universities: only 29% of university
students come from the poorest
socio-economic groups. At Oxford
and Cambridge the percentage
is even lower – 9.8% and 11.8%
respectively, with half of Oxbridgers
coming from the same 100 schools
(source: Times Online). Does this not
suggest something truly terrible with
the way things are? Secondly, Fidler
ignores the fact that individuals
sometimes face significant personal
hurdles in order to achieve - believe
it or not there ARE bigger problems
than no textbooks and unruly fellow
pupils. What about kids in care?
Young carers? These are the minority
groups not given a chance by the
uniform rigidity of a system that
simply demands three grade As.
Intelligence
demonstrates
its
potential, only if it is given a chance.
Our system should encourage this,
stop you this luxury. What it would
do is encourage less irresponsible
drinking and people ending the
night by vomiting in to a pint glass.
Although the fact that students
binge drink is common knowledge,
I am pleased that The Courier has
discovered evidence that might
cause students to rethink their blasé
attitude towards binge drinking.
However, I must admit that it is far
too easy to become a binge drinker,
and that with the abundance of offers
and a culture that revolves around a
sociable night life, the figures printed
in The Courier are unsurprising.
Like Miss Scott says, the
government shouldn’t have control
over our drinking habits but I think
it should take more responsibility
in
encouraging
safe
alcohol
consumption.
Eva Murray
Dear Editor,
In response to ‘How much is too
much?’ in Issue 1188
I am writing to express my
agreement with Sarah Scott in her
opinion on binge drinking.
Though the results of The Courier
survey on binge drinking are
shocking, I feel that the government
taking measures to stop cheap drinks
the chance, and be more lenient with
it.
I’ve strayed from my original
point, though. Were the two articles
juxtaposed in order for opinion to
balance itself? Or is this just poor
journalism?
Luke McFarlane
News Editor’s Response
Dear Luke,
Thank you for your letter, we always
appreciate a response from our
readers.
With regard to your queries, the
two articles you mention were
deliberately placed in the paper
so as to allow a balanced view of
current developments in admissions
proceedures.
There are many contradictory
accounts of admissions policy in the
national press, our aim as a student
newspaper is to report these stories
to you, the students, in the most
accurate way possible.
Neither article was written to
“attack”a particular position, merely
to allow students the chance to make
their own minds up about how
University admissions work and
the best way to resolve the difficult
issues raised in the process.
I do feel however that it’s a shame
you found the articles to be “scarce
in detail and clarity”. The Courier
would not irradiate the problem.
I don’t think that cheap drinks
encourage binge drinking, and that
if a student is going to binge drink
they will whether or not the trebles
are two for one.
Like Sarah points out, it is our
choice if we wish to drink more than
the recommended amount, most
students are even well aware of the
health risks involved.
The recommended alcohol limit for
women is considerably lower than I
would drink on a typical night out,
and although I realise this may not
be the best for my health, this does
not affect my decision.
However, I would not consider
myself a ‘binge drinker’ - I certainly
never drink so much that I cannot
talk or stand.
It is common knowledge that
smoking is incredibly harmful to
your health, and even though antismoking campaigns have been
launched, it does not stop companies
being able to sell cigarettes at
discounted prices
I agree with Sarah when she says
that we will become nanny state
if the government intervenes with
happy hour deals.
At the risk of sounding irresponsible,
I enjoy a few drinks and the cheaper
the better, I am a poor student after
all! Why should I not be able to enjoy
a drink at an affordable price?
Georgina Batt
have some excellent writers, all of
whom write in their own time whilst
studying for full-time degrees.
We feel proud of the standard of
reporting in the paper and continue
to encourage anyone who wants to
write, to do so.
With reference to your comments
about Nic Fidler’s Opinion piece
it was just that - opinion. In this
section we allow writers free reign
to express their own personal views
on a situation. To call Nic lacking in
intelligence then, is surely missing
the point entirely?
“It cannot be an
easy task trying
to gain votes
in this manner,
especially with
the perceived
levels of student
apathy”
Dear Editor.
With the Union elections upon us this
week, I feel obliged to compliment
the coverage given by The Courier in
last weeks issue.
With the elections such a vital part
of the process of the Union Society,
“I was somewhat
horrified to
discover how
much money
the library
grosses through
library fines”
Dear Editor
In response to ‘Revealed: how much
we pay in library fines’ in issue 1187
I was somewhat horrified to
discover how much money the
library grosses through library fines,
£97,173 between 2007/2008. It was
said that this money only made up
a small proportion of the library’s
overall turnover, 1.15%, but still it
is a great amount of money that we
students are putting back into the
library.
I know it’s extremely irritating
when the books we need are not
returned on time and the fines
are just an incentive to deter this
problem but seriously where is that
money going?
I would like to see the money spent
on more books so perhaps instead
of waiting for books to be returned
there were more books in the library
your pull out provided much needed
in depth coverage.
A great deal of people are unaware
of just how much responsibility is
granted to the victorious candidates,
and I therefore feel that the
information provided is absolutely
vital to the electorate in making
informed decisions.
In previous years, coverage has
been somewhat limited, and I hope
that your increased focus results in a
higher student turnout.
With regards to campaigning, I feel
that the candidates have conducted
themselves admirably, in what is
obviously a very demanding and
stressful week for them.
It cannot be an easy task trying to
gain votes in this manner, especially
with the perceived levels of student
apathy.
The fact that individuals are willing
to put themselves through such a
vigorous process in my eyes proves
dedication to the roles they hope to
win.
Although the elections have on
occasion been branded as nothing
more than popularity contests, it is
inevitably the candidates that put
the most effort in who win.
Indeed, preparing for the elections
is a full year process for most of
the successful candidates, with the
campaign week the culmination of a
great deal of hard work.
I look forward to reading about
the successful candidates aims and
ambitions in the next issue.
Danny Kovacs
for students to have access to!
As far as I have seen the money
has been spent on those new shiny
barriers for the library, even though
in my opinion there was nothing
wrong with the original barriers.
I want to thank The Courier for
bringing this to the attention of
students, maybe together we can
ensure hat the money we all pay in
fines is put towards something that
we will benefit from, something that
will ensure we make the most of our
library, not something to make it
look ‘modern’!
Francesca Delaware
Dear Editor,
I feel compelled to write in and
express how impressed I have been
with the improvement in quality and
standard of The Courier over the last
year. As an avid reader of the paper, I
think that the overall look and layout
of the new design has brought the
paper to a much more sophisticated
level.
The addition of the comment section
and the letters page are a welcomed
addition. I find it very interesting
to read students’ views on topical
issues and I am very pleased to see
that The Courier incorporates a real
‘voice for students’.
Emma Gavin
C
M
Y
K
INTERVIEW
16th March 2009
13
courier.deputy@ncl.ac.uk
arc
hive
The Courier brings you a classic interview with Paul Weller
Hannah Boylin
I have never been so very excited. It is quite
possibly the defining moment of one’s
journalistic career to shake hands with Mr, no,
Sir Paul Weller: the Modfather, the god of Jam,
impeccably styled, wonderfully tuned. And it
is most definitely this giddy girl’s dream to be
kissed by him, twice, once on each cheek. Oh
yes. But enough of my revelling. So when we
rocked up to City Hall for a chat with a legend,
we were determined to find out what makes
him tick.
“I’ve had a very long and illustrious career”,
laughs Paul. “And I’ve had loads of great
highlights. It’s hard to pinpoint just one though,
‘cause last night when we played Dublin that
was a highlight. Because it’s ongoing, I just
think about the night before really. It’s always
been that way for me: just what I’m immersed
in at the time”.
Indeed, with a career that spans almost thirty
years from the post-punk of the Jam, to the
slick, perfect pop of Style Council and later solo
ventures, Weller has dabbled in many different
styles. But does he have any regrets?
“I’ve had a few, but again, too few to mention.
I’ve been a very lucky man. I think that anyone
who gets to do what they want to do in life,
and make a living from it, and get something
out of it…well, you’re a very lucky person to
find that sort of thing.”
With so many successes under his cap, it’s
hard to imagine what Weller will do next.
“I’d like to do something different”, muses
Paul, “but I don’t know what. In a way, I just
want one year where I have no plans at all: a
completely blank canvas, so I can fill it in as
I go.”
But having recently received a lifetime
achievement award, The Courier wonders if
the singer is under extra pressure to maintain
his already ubiquitous reputation. “No, I don’t
think that at all, ‘cause I don’t take that stuff
too seriously. It’s nice, but I still think that
you’re only as good as your last gig or your
last record, so I don’t really have enough time
to sit on my laurels, or whatever the expression
is. And because it’s still contemporary and
relative, I never really think about past glories:
it’s still here and now.”
As such, my advice to those waiting for a Jam
revival would be to not hold their breath. When
asked if he would return to a band scenario,
Paul utters a resounding ‘no’.
“It wouldn’t work for me: I’m too old to do it!
I think that bands work when you’re younger,
but, once you’ve got a bit of history behind
you, it’s really hard to be in a proper band as
such.”
And what if the band that started his career
had never come about? “If I hadn’t made it
with the Jam?” He laughs, “I’d probably just be
down the pub! God knows what I’d have done.
I’d be lost I think: it was sort of a salvation in
a way”.
It seems that the singer cannot picture himself
doing anything other than music, and when
The Courier delves to find any further hidden
talents or interests, he merely smiles: “none
at all. Just all music, just all full on. I’ve loved
music and I’ve loved clothes from the time I
was little, till - well, I still do. I’m obsessed!”
Well, as far as addictions go, we would say
this is pretty damn healthy, and of course
accountable for the sharp dress sense and
many records that Mr Weller has presented
to us. It is encouraging to see someone with
incomprehensible experience still in the
possession of such boundless enthusiasm.
When The Courier asks his opinion on the
current music climate, his eyes light up: once
again, he is a kid in a sweet shop and this is his
indulgence.
“There are loads of good new bands at the
moment. Let me think…there’s quite a few
American bands that I like: Midlake, Kings of
Leon, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs”.
And in Britain? “I like the Artics, Dirty Pretty
Things, I really like Hard-fi, Amy Winehouse
is really cool, and that little Scottish band, The
View - they’re good. The last few years have
been so creative over here and there’s been
some fantastic music coming out, which is
great, as it always rubs off on me.”
With such eager excitement for the music
scene, who would Paul invite on stage in a
fantasy concert scenario? “Probably the Small
Faces. Bit of an obvious one, but yeah, as a
pure fantasy thing, playing with them would
be cool”.
However, Small Faces or not, Weller’s own
live performance leaves little to be desired.
His current stage-buddies have been playing
alongside him for over ten years, and include
the original Style Council drummer, Steve
White.
The City Hall hosted an exhilarating
performance, witness to the star showcasing
his talents with all the energy of a teenager and
the finesse and expertise of a true professional.
And Paul certainly knows how to please a
crowd, banging out the old favourites, ‘Wild
Wood’ and ‘You Do Something To Me’, and
culminating in a foot-stomping finale of Jam
classic, ‘Town Called Malice’. Such music would
encourage even the most decrepit fans out of
their seats and it is a pleasure to be involved
in such a flawless and zealous concert. Further,
it is obvious to anyone that the band enjoy it
just as much as their crowd. But, after so many
years, what inspires Mr Weller to continue?
“It’s just what I do in life; I write songs and
I write music, and I never question that. I feel
that I was born to do it. I know that sounds a bit
lofty, but I was meant to do it, and I love doing
it. I’m always listening to music, so whether
that or playing my own, it’s an ongoing thing
for me, it’s constant.”
Paul Weller’s intense passion and love for
music is infectious. Even after thirty years
in the limelight, it has not waned. This only
makes us admire him even more.
Finally, we press for a few words of wisdom
that could be passed on to those hoping for a
career in music: “My advice to them? Always
follow your own notions and don’t listen to
other people too much, ‘cause if you listen
to too many opinions I think you end up
nowhere. You have to have the vision in the
first place, but you have to follow it as well.
Don’t compromise too much”.
The oracle has spoken. Take note.
features
North by South
Alice Vincent
T
here’s nothing like introducing a
‘Shire friend to Newcastle to make you
realise Northern wierdities that had previously gone unnoticed.
My home buddy hadn’t been north of
Birmingham, let alone north of the Tyne,
and, in her own words ‘had every Geordie stereotype confirmed by the time
she’d got to Monument’. Ok, it was 10pm
on a Friday night, and town’s an initiation and a half by that point.
It was my dragging her (after three
Basement trebles, an eye-opening Northern experience in itself) to Geordie indie
spot supreme, Jukebox, that made me
realise that music is affected by regional
difference. And that difference is a little
something called Northern Soul.
Is it wrong that I had never heard of
Northern Soul, or never been made quite
aware of it actually was, until the other
night? Probably. Or, considering how it
seriously pales in comparison to the latest
underground indie tunes when I want to
properly cut some shapes instead of morosely dancing to something produced a
good forty years ago, probably not.
After drunkenly complaining (fairly
loudly judging by the subsequent lack
of vocal chord action) about the state of
retro tunage, a nearby Northerner said
something along the lines of ‘maaate, it’s
Northern Soul!’ which apparently demonstrated how wrong I was.
And then I realised: Northern Soul
is everywhere in Newcastle. There are
posters for far more Northern Soul
nights than there are interesting contemporary music nights. And those little
red and green vinyl record bags with a
slightly soviet-esque logo, you know, the
fist, and the ‘keep the faith’, have been
kicking around all this time in my subconscious.
I have never seen one of those anywhere else in the country. I reckon it’s
one of the many signs that people interested in slightly alternative music up
here are not the pretentious knobends
that populate indie clubs down south.
I went to Bulletproof the Saturday after
Freshers’ week, and was blown away by
the sheer fun of it. What what? People
are DANCING, and not just ruffling their
hair in an ironic manner? Yeah, ok, so the
Noel Fielding haircut hasn’t yet died in
the North East but I think I can justify
that when those sporting them are so
down-to-earth. I think what really sums
it up is that my trendy fashion student
‘Shire friend refuses to go to Stonelove in
Brighton’s Digital because it’s too pretentious. Southern scenesters suck.
The other massively great thing about
music in Newcastle is that the stuff that
would sell out academies and auditoriums in other cities comes to the most
intimate venues here. A month back I
missioned to Manchester to go to Ape,
a big drum and bass and dubstep night
in the sold out Apollo. Like thousands of
people.
I returned the favour by bringing
dubstep-loving friend up here to see
Caspa when he played WHQ. Not even
the whole club, just the tiny downstairs
room. Yeah, Geordies trumped Mankies
in that round.
For a city that’s relatively small, Newcastle has a brilliantly disproportionate
number of amazing venues. The Cluny is
one of those places you literally have to
visit before the end of your degree. Head
of Steam is a sweaty, heaving wonder of a
place. The End has a capacity of 175 people and yet has become a standard tour
venue for the newest bands. Newcastle’s
size means that there are constantly people setting up amazing
new nights, debuting new DJs, and
trying things out
and succeeding,
because
there
isn’t loads of
competition. It’s
small, and yeah,
it’s a bit weird,
but I wouldn’t
have Newcastle’s
music scene
any other
way.
Battle of the Sexes
This week: CARS
Aimee
Philipson:
feels
there
are
things like food, a
house and shoes a
lot higher on her
agenda than cars.
Wasn’t it a shame when Cristiano
Ronaldo crashed his £200,000
Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano Spider
(yes, I did know that, I watch
Top Gear too.) into a tunnel wall
at the beginning of the month?
If only it hadn’t been an,
admittedly gorgeous, but reckless
boy racer behind the wheel, that
sexy, red machine might not be at
the bottom of a scrapheap being
ransacked for parts to put on Ebay.
A girl would never have been so
irresponsible as to show off to a
team mate (Manchester United
goalkeeper Edwin Van Der Sar was
travelling behind Ronaldo in his
Bentley) or so stupid as to drive into
a wall straight after. Ronaldo only
got fined for speeding not reckless
driving, but in my opinon, boys
and their cars can only mean one
thing: impress, impress, impress.
FHM and Top Gear magazines
are in the Top 10 most widely
read magazines in the UK and
I can’t help feeling that the two
are inexplicably connected. To
men, Power, Revs and Speed are
guaranteed to impress any woman
and will therefore secure a date
with said woman. Unfortunately,
nothing screams “I have a tiny
tiddler!” more than an ugly,
overweight businessman in a
beautiful sports car. (In the same
vein, nothing shouts “I have no
idea what I’m doing with my life!”
more than your dad pulling into
the drive in a brand new Porsche
around about his 40th birthday.)
Having said that, I’m not going to
deny that a guy in a nice car can be a
turn-on for some women. I mean I’d
probably even go for a drink with
Jeremy Clarkson if he picked me
up in his Lamborghini Murcielago.
And wore a bag on his head.
I do have dreams of owning my
own beautiful lime green Nissan
Figaro (don’t laugh, guys) one
day but there are things like food,
a house and shoes a lot higher on
my agenda of things to spend my
money on as long as I have a car
which gets me from A to B. This
just doesn’t seem to be the case for
guys. There are lots of car garages
in my hometown of Bradford, but
there are two in particular that I
fear,each time we drive past them,
that I will end up splattered against
the display window because my
boyfriend cannot keep his eyes
off the “amazing” Audi R8 for
sale. I know I should be pleased
that it’s only bonnets and alloys
that distract him and not some
blonde’s DD’s but I can’t help
wondering what all the fuss is
about – he has a great car already
and he will never, ever be able to
afford an Audi R8 so it’s time to
stop dreaming. Men may complain
excessively about women drivers
but in our defence, we may be slow
and bad at parking but at least
our eyes are on the road and not
on the guy infront’s huge spoiler.
Ralph
Mathers:
feels that a beautiful
sports car screams
money, success, I’m
a real man.
I had my bike nicked last week.
In my reluctant slide back
down the transport food chain
to pedestrian status I’ve reencountered one of the bizarre
things about the modern man.
As I precariously jaywalk the
streets of this city it seems the
sports cars and 4x4s accelerate
forwards (the female species
are almost never to blame).
Now it might say something
about me, but it has left me
questioning the ongoing affair
between men and their motors.
Since the dawn of mankind men
have needed to show off their
masculinity. There was a time
when this was determined simply
by the size of a man’s “package”,
but ever since Adam and Eve
thrust (excuse the pun) self
consciousness upon us, men have
led an ongoing quest for a solution.
Cars are the current medicine.
The fast car drivers of the male
world are divided into different
groups, spotted quite easily.
There is the infamous “fast car,
small penis” type – the men
who’ve got the cash but can’t
get the ladies, so splash it on the
flashest car in order to give them
some much needed va va voom!
These fine fellows have “midlife
crisis” stamped right across their
foreheads. Then there are the
men who can’t quite afford the
flash car but heavily mortgage the
house in order to buy it. You see
them everywhere: big, shiny cars
sitting outside small, dull houses.
The latter type leaves me
wondering whether the whole
fast car conundrum is purely
about pulling girls. Surely no
man in his right mind would
think that a girl would rather
live, sleep and eat in a big, comfy
car than a big, comfy house.
For men, owning and showing
off a flash car is as much about
impressing the lads as the ladies.
I remember a classic example
from my school days. One of the
pupil’s fathers used to turn up in
his huge convertible Mercedes,
roof down, sunglasses on.
Ten minutes behind would be
his wife in the people carrier
with his offspring. Now this
particular jerk wasn’t on the
pull but he still wanted to be
acknowledged: he was the alpha
male and this was his jungle.
In all honestly, I know that
stunning sports cars impress
me. They scream MONEY,
SUCCESS, I’M A REAL MAN!
But I hope – for my own sake
– that most girls aren’t fickle
enough to be won over by them.
Alas,
I
suppose
it’s
understandable if they are. No
matter how boring or ugly a man is,
an expensive car is an immediate
display of the lifestyle he lives: it’s
drug, sex and rock’n’roll for those
who like to be in bed by 9pm.
Desperate times, Desperate measures
So you might have just delved into your overdraft and bought a pair of gorgeous new
boots or had a hugely expensive night at the poker table where you waved goobye
to your lunch money. Regardless of your excuse, most students would definitely call
themselves hard up, and in many cases, desperate for a bit of extra cash. Well fear
not for the answer is within the follwing paragraphs; a list of canny money makers,
courtesy of Rosie Hunt and Hannah Leach.
With student loans dwindling into
the single figures we’re sure many
of you are feeling the pinch more
than ever!
Seeing one of our friends down a
shot of Sainsbury’s basics vodka at
three in the afternoon, in the middle
of a fully-fledged hangover for a
mere five pounds left us wondering
just how far desperation would take
some of us…
So, with this in mind, we decided
to compile a list of slightly silly,
disgusting and in some cases,
downright humiliating tasks to see
just how gagging for money some
people really are.
Needless to say, on presenting
this list to members of our (all girl)
houses, we were met with a lot of ‘I
wouldn’t do that for any amounts
of money’ and ‘eugh, absolutely
not’, whether this was due to pride,
or rather pure disgust, who knows!
1. Dirty Pint... Hungover... 3pm:
That stage in the afternoon when
the headache has finally gone but
the sickness has just kicked in. You
can think of nothing worse than
putting food or liquid anywhere
near your mouth and can feel last
night’s alcohol churning around in
your stomach.
Someone offers you £10 to down
a dirty pint... would you do it? It
seems that many would.
2. Streak through a lecture: This
one involves stripping naked and
running through a lecture theatre.
Mostly one for the boys it seems, as
the majority of girls asked couldn’t
even give a price just a “NO way”.
£50 seems to be the going rate for a
‘lecture streak’ these days... anyone
game?
3. Drive naked around Jesmond:
Set the scene: its Saturday lunch
time, and there are hundreds of
students milling around Jesmond,
and popping into Tesco to get their
weekend supplies.
Not a perfect time to take part in
this challenge, yet this was one dare
that stirred the exhibitionists within
a few of our female friends, with
one of our housemates (no naming
and shaming of course) proclaiming
that they would be willing to drive
around Jesmond naked for free,
unpaid. All I can say is keep your
eyes peeled people.
4. Wax Eyebrows off: Another
one which differs with the girl/boy
divide; many girls would not even
consider it – ourselves included.
Bearing in mind that eyebrows
would actually take a long time
to grow back, is £100 a reasonable
price to pay for the loss?
5. Eat a Strip of Raw Bacon: Steak
tartar aside, raw meat is generally
a no-no, which makes the initial
reaction to this task one of unnatural disgust.
However, most of the people who
we asked would happily devour a
rasher of raw bacon for the mere
sum of £10. Bear in mind that food
poisoning is a risk.
6. Sell your other-half for sex:
By far the most scandalous and
shameful way to make money, yet
one reader (who shall definitely
remain nameless... they know who
they are!) was quick to offer up his
better (and none the wiser) half for
FORTY QUID.
This leaves us speechless, and
goes completely beyond any of our
expectations as to the lengths poor
and desperate students will go to
for money! All we can say is good
luck to her...
We’re not quite sure whether
the results speak of desperation,
boredom or simply exhibitionism
on the part of our readers, however
for the majority of cases we found
what we expected: students really
will do virtually anything for quick
cash.
Although it has to be said that
there is little doubt that boys will
always go an extra mile than girls.
We’ll leave you with this... these
tasks are by no means recommended
ways of making money.
If you’re really that skint, stop
dicking around, we hear Munchies
are hiring...
C
M
Y
K
FEATURES
15
courier.features@ncl.ac.uk
16th March 2009
The Lazy Student’s
By Alex Felton.
Guide to...
Early this month, Zimbabwean
Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai’s
car was hit by an aid lorry whilst
he and his wife were on their way
from Harare, the country’s capital,
Buhera.
The collision drove the car off the
road, killing the Prime Minister’s
wife, Susan Tsvangirai, and injuring
the Prime Minister.
Susan Tsvangirai, who has been
married to Mr. Tsvangirai for 31
years, was buried last Tuesday in
her home town in Buhera.
The event was attended by
thousands, including the country’s
President Robert Mugabe.
Since the accident, a political truce
has been established between the
President and the Prime Minister.
ZIMBABWE
Zimbabwe’s political history
The Republic of Zimbabwe is geographically
positioned on the South-East tip of Africa,
neighboured by South Africa and Botswana to
the South and Zambia, Malawi and Mozambique
in the North.
Its capital city is Harare where the government
is situated and in 2008 the UN estimated that the
population was 13.5 million. As an ex-British
colony, the United Kingdom has strong links
with Zimbabwe that are constantly highlighted
by the British media and politicians.
Recently a great deal has been said about the
state of Zimbabwe’s political situation, as well
as concerns over the welfare of its people with
current life expectancy figures dipping to 44
years (men) and 43 years (women).
Zanu (PF) is the political party in power led
by Zimbabwe’s president Robert Mugabe. Mr.
Mugabe has just celebrated his 85th Birthday.
The British colonised Zimbabwe during the
Scramble for Africa and it remained under
British rule until the Unilateral Declaration
of Independence (UDI) when Ian Smith broke
Recent Political Change
February 11th saw a political breakthrough for
Zimbabwean politics as Morgan Tsvangirai was
sworn into the position of Prime Minister in a
coalition government between the Movement
for Democratic Change (MDC) and Zanu (PF).
In recent years Mr Tsvangarai has avoided
three assassination attempts, suffered violence
and torture (resulting in a cracked skull in 2007)
and witnessed the abductions and torturing of
hundreds of his fellow activists but his popularity
amongst the people has forced the hand of the
government into accepting a coalition.
A country on its knees
A severe cholera epidemic has spread
throughout Zimbabwe claiming thousands
of lives as many people have been living with
illness in disease ridden areas.
As of the 10th February the ICRC published
figures stating that 63,000 cases have been
recorded with around 3,200 deaths within the
last 7 months, the worst epidemic in 14 years.
Cholera has been contained in Harare, where
the city council has been offering free graves
to the victims but is still spreading in rural
areas due to a lack of education among the
population as to how to prevent disease.
Also, a lack of sanitation infrastructure
and poor nutrition due to the Zimbabwean
economic crisis has added fuel to the flames,
encouraging the spread of cholera within the
impoverished rural communities.
There has been a complete breakdown
of social services and the organisation of
emergency medical facilities as towards the
end of last year the Zimbabwean health system
collapsed as doctors and nurses went on strike
due to poor working conditions and issues
over pay.
Investment and International aid has been
underwhelming due to the turbulent political
situation but with the appointment of a new
Health minister the outbreak will hopefully
improve.
Hyperinflation in Zimbabwe and mass
unemployment has crippled the economy.
away and established Southern Rhodesia
as a self-proclaimed sovereign dominion on
November 11th 1965.
Robert Mugabe’s ZANU and Joshua Nkomo’s
ZAPU parties campaigned against the white
government resulting in constant outbreaks of
violence and The Bush Wars in the 1970s.
During this period the Black population of
Zimbabwe roughly outnumbered the white 22:1,
thus incurring a feeling of resentment towards
the white government.
ZANU and ZAPU were supported by the
communist powers of the Soviet Union and
the People’s Republic of China adding to the
tensions of the Cold War.
Eventually in 1980, ZANU won a landslide
election and achieved independence establishing
the Republic of Zimbabwe. The two parties
reached an agreement in 1988 and merged
creating ZANU (PF).
Since 1980 Robert Mugabe has been the
country’s only political leader and currently
remains President.
In March 2008, the MDC won the first-round
of elections; however Mr.Tsvangarai abandoned
the run-off in June 2008 because of threats of
violence towards his supporters by the state
controlled police force.
Politically the coalition of power marks the
first time in 29 years that Robert Mugabe hasn’t
had overriding rule of Zimbabwe. Scepticism
still surrounds the political change,
David Milliband, the Foreign Secretary stated
how Mr.Tsvangarai’s appointment as Prime
Minister was “the possibility of a change for the
better”, it remains to be seen how different the
politics of Zimbabwe will be in the months to
come.
“Cholera has been contained in
Harare, where the city council
has been offering free graves to
the victims but is still spreading
in rural areas due to a lack of
education among the population
as to how to prevent disease.”
Recent unemployment figures published
place unemployment at 94% of the entire
population.
A restructure of the entire economy is needed
as highlighted by the new government’s
policy of paying their civil servants in foreign
currency either US dollar or South African
rand.
However, with economic sanctions still in
place and crippled agricultural and tourism
industries, the question remains as to where
the influx of foreign currency will come from.
Foreign currency has to be used because of
hyperinflation to the Zimbabwean dollar.
In July 2008, the solution of redenomination
was employed; unsurprisingly removing
10 zeros didn’t resolve the issue. There has
been an emergence in the black market and
subsequently most goods are now traded
illegally rather than through traditional
means.
Until the smoke over the political situation
settles, no significant foreign investment will
be offered.
ABOVE: Robert Mugabe Zimbabwe’s President, on the left and Morgan Tsvangirai the Prime
Minister on the right,
A Tenuous future
Zimbabwe has been seen as the “bread basket of
Africa” in the past and not until recent history
and the impact of Robert Mugabe’s Land
Reforms has this perception been changed.
Robert Mugabe is allegedly guilty of human
rights violations and many Western countries
believe strongly that he has crippled his
own country. With the prospective shift
in political power away from ZANU (PF)
and Robert Mugabe, it remains to be seen
how much immediate influence Morgan
Tsvangirai will have and hopefully he
will be able to realise his ambitions and
“open a new chapter for our country”
16
16th March 2009
Material
Girls
Margaret Clunie &
Jenny Greenwood
W
hilst discussing what topics might
be relevant for a ‘material girls’ special
we realised there had been no direct
mention of the hallowed Northumberland Street in all the columns we have
produced this year!
So whilst we might be down a Zara (it
shut over a year ago and is now the carphone warehouse) and up yet another
budget shoe store, this is still a great
place for a bargain.
H&M, Primark, Marks and Sparks
- ok, not all grace the annals of high
fashion but each essential on their own
way. Firstly H&M oh, whats that…?
Yes Matthew Williamson’s imminent
collection will be hitting the shops this
season, while it might not be able to
surpass the dynamite Stella McCartney
collection of 2005, Williamson’s trademark bold prints and bright colours
will surely trounce Madonna’s “collection” of 2007…don’t remember it…?
Well neither do we babes.
Primark - or Primarche, as we like to
refer to it - is the clear highstreet winner
for the quick fashion fix. From socks so
cheap that it is probably easier to chuck
them than wash them (ecofriendly
probably not but when it comes to halls
washing machines understandable…)
or for the last minute purchase at the
end of the month/term when funds are
running low. Primark is the obvious
choice. Bags, knitwear, shoes, or pants
primark will always sort you out, as
long as you are not too fussy about the
dubious working conditions of the Primark workforce in lands far away…
However if this does weigh heavily on your mind, Marks and Spencer
the home of British fashion for over
100 years is the place to go for sensible
woollens and cosy cardigans. It is the
perfect place to go on Northumberland
street for when the term starts to drag
and the promise of a cosy night on your
sofa is the only thing that will do. Its
righteous selection of pjs and the glorious foodhall will see you throught the
coldest of northern nights.
Obviously we have not even scratched
the surface of the delights of Northumberland street but from these goodly
few an outfit can easily be found for a
night on the sofa or out on the raz….
WHATS SO HOT
-EASTER HOLIDAYS! Hooray! Forget
the January diet (lets face it we all have
by now) and get some little Easter nest
things with mini eggs in your face!
-www.atelier-mayer.com vintage couture, hello!
-Vogues recommendation of searching
out some hot numbers from army surplus stores, and, hell yes there’s two of
them in Newcastle, go on an adventure
down Grey Street…
WHATS SO NOT
- no many how many times you venture down Highbury Street there is no
way you will ever run out of things to
lust over………
-the sudden realisation that the final
year students only have about THREE
months of uni left!
Celebrity Monopoly
FEATURES
courier.features@ncl.ac.uk
(Includes extensive property, plenty of cash and get out of jail free card)
Chris Brown could face up to four years in prison for his alleged battery of Rihanna but will
justice be served? Millicent Simon delves into the lives
of celebrity criminals.
After a crime has been committed
does a famous name mean nothing
in the eyes of justice or is life really
just a game for today’s stars?
With more and more of today’s
most photographed youth such as
Paris, Lindsay and Nicole being
caught committing serious offences
many are beginning to question
whether they believe they are above
the law and indeed, if this is the
case, whether this belief would be
unfounded.
The most topical scandal to emerge
from the Hollywood a-list involves
chart favourite Rihanna as she and
her fellow performer and boyfriend
Chris Brown pulled out of the 51st
Grammy awards just recently with
rumours flying that he assaulted
her.
Rihanna was left with visible
bruises and by the end of the
weekend when Brown himself
walked into a police station on
Sunday at 7pm both public and
press became increasingly assured
that the ‘unidentified woman’ he
attacked was his own girlfriend.
Although Brown was assaulted
as a child and claims that this has
affected his behaviour towards
woman it is debatable whether this
most recent action results solely
from childhood trauma or whether
he simply believes his celebrity
status will mean a reduced or nonexistent punishment.
If he had not been certain, for
instance, that his £34,000 bail
could be easily afforded would he
have been so quick to admit to his
indiscretion or indeed to commit
it in the first place? As although
he did not exactly get out of jail
free, £34,000 remains only a tiny
percentage Brown’s millions.
When examining the evidence
supplied by previous celebrity
offences it perhaps becomes
clear that although today’s most
photographed youngsters do not
totally avoid punishment, their
sentences do appear shortened.
For example in May 2007 heiress
and socialite Paris Hilton was found
guilty of violating the probation she
earlier gained as a consequence of
drink driving.
She was sentenced to jail for 45
days, something that both shocked
and outraged her fans as well as
her mother and Paris herself. The
seeming lack of concern for the
hearing, seen by Paris’ late arrival
to the court and her mother’s
laughter at the initial proposal
of imprisonment, suggests both
women appeared sure of a ruling
in Paris’ favour as she claimed
she was not aware her licence had
been suspended despite the fact
she herself had signed documents
stating so in January of that year.
Considering Paris had already
been punished with a £1,000 fine,
36 months probation and alcohol
education for drink driving in
September 2006, which she clearly
ignored, it seems likely that if she
were your average American citizen
an even more severe sentence would
have been given this time round.
Particularly when bringing into
the equation Paris’ extraordinarily
early release from her jail sentence
literally days after it began in June,
completing the rest of her ‘time’ in
the comfort of her own home.
Perhaps this early freedom was due
to the judge’s belated realisation of
the injustice of the heiress’ sentence
or perhaps the Paparazzi and fans
surrounding the courtroom on the
stars arrival instilled in him the fear
of Paris’ own worst nightmare, ‘bad
press’.
Ironically at the precise time of
Hilton’s own trial her on/off ‘BFF’
Lindsay Lohan was involved in a
crash whilst driving her Mercedes
under the influence of alcohol and
Cocaine.
She escaped this incident charged
only with a misdemeanour. Despite
further
arrests and
several incidents
with strong links to more
alcohol abuse Lohan remained
only threatened with a serious
sentence which was never properly
enforced,
strengthening
the
argument that the famous play by a
different set of rules.
It ultimately seems that in our
increasingly fame obsessed culture
the benefits of a celebrity status are
expanding even further, i.e. into the
law courts, as with the best legal
representation, financial support
and fan base available, today’s stars
are emerging from serious offences
seemingly unscathed.
This failure of threats and occasional
half-hearted enforcements would
therefore suggest the introduction of
more serious punishments to scare
these lucky young into behaving.
Unfortunately perhaps they have
become only too aware of their
considerable advantage over the
rest of us humble z-lists.
Remember this...?
Julia Middleton has a lorra lorra luv for ‘Blind Date’ and Cilla Black
It’s 7.30pm on a Saturday night in
1996 and after a battle with
your brother over the fact
you also stopped him
watching
Robot
Wars last night, the
channel is locked
to ITV.
Anticipation is
in the air as the
music starts to
beat and then
the bodiless
voice of ‘our
Graham’ fills
the room. It is
of course none
other
than
that Saturday
night
gem,
Blind Date. And
there
stands
the
woman
herself, in all her
leather trousered,
Liverpudlian glory:
‘It’s your host, Miss
Cilla Blaaaaccckk!’
Gone are the days when Auntie
Cilla ruled our screens and what
a loss this is. Programmes like
Celebrity Love Island may try and
fill those sparkly stilettos or reach
the dazzling heights of
that red coiffeur, but
such
programmes
have proved an
incompatible
match for our
Saturday
n i g h t
viewing.
T
h
e
question
and answer
session was
always my
favourite
part, often
providing
m u c h
hilarity
a
n
d
looking
back on it
is amazing
I missed so
many of the sexual
innuendos that floated
above my young head.
The best answer I found when
flicking through old episodes
online was this one-‘What’s your
biggest
disappointment
and
what does this tell me about you,
Contestant Number 1?’ ‘The biggest
disappointment in my life was when
I found my pet budgie dead.
However if you pick me tonight,
maybe you could be my new bird.’
Genius.
After the screen was pulled back
to reveal their date the looks and
reactions were often priceless, but
what made it more amusing was
when contestants blatantly went
on the show for a free holiday and
came out with a fishing break in
Scotland.
Even if you had gone on the show
for love, it was pretty hard for
anyone to get enthusiastic about this
prospect, even if it was with Shelly
from Manchester.
The couple were then submitted
to seeing what the other said about
them behind their backs while on
their luxury weekend; this often
ended in raised voices, audience
booing and Cilla sighing, all reasons
why we loved the show.
Romance, arguments, holidays, the
surprise element, embarrassment on
many levels for all-what more could
we want from a Saturday night?
The show would end with Cilla’s
classic catchphrase, and content, bed
would lie ahead, as we dreamt of the
televisual adventures of tomorrow,
the words of our indomitable host
whirring round our brains, wishing
us - ‘a lorra, lorra luv.’
‘What’s your biggest
disappointment and
what does this tell me
about you, Contestant
Number 1?’
‘The biggest
disappointment in my
life was when I found
my pet budgie dead.
However if you
pick me tonight,
maybe you could
be my new bird.’
C
M
Y
K
FEATURES
17
courier.features@ncl.ac.uk
16th March 2009
Can I buy you a drink?
Following last week’s Courier front page
at Newcastle Uni, Katherine Bishop
teetotalism.
When in passing, I mentioned to a
friend that I didn’t drink, he looked
at me with an expression
of utter horror, and
exclaimed ‘Are you
kidding? You part of a
weird religious thing or
something?’
I laughed at his outburst,
and casually shrugged off
his comments while promising
him I hadn’t joined a characterless
cult.
Although some would see his
retort to be slightly crass, truthfully,
I wasn’t expecting it to be any
different.
His
wideeyed,
widemouthed
expression
was a typical reaction of my peers
when they discover my night time
habitual doesn’t include getting
‘smashed’ or downing shed-loads
of booze.
Sadly, my revelation rarely
gets a positive response. ‘That’s
impressive’, or ‘I respect you for
that’ would go down nicely once in
a while.
Getting blasted to the point of being
brainless has never really appealed
to me. I’m not a freak, or religious,
or a grumpy guts. I actually really
enjoy a good night on the toon; I just
prefer to do it on my own
terms
without
succumbing
to
Britain’s
excessive
binging
behaviour.
I can’t think of anything worse
than vomiting into a public toilet,
sick mottled in your freshly madeup hair, tears and sweat ruining
your pristine make-up.
But in this current night-time
climate of ‘as many trebles you
can drink for a pound’, or ‘free
Jagerbombs for the first 500 entrants’,
it’s no wonder getting drunk quickly
and cheaply appeals to students on
story highlighting drinking trends
explores binge drinking versus
a tight budget.
It seems logical to get as
much alcohol for your money’s
worth.
Worryingly, a 2008 Halifax
Survey, which discovered that
students spend ‘just £20.40 on
alcohol each week’, was regarded as
a ‘somewhat optimistic’ revelation.
It’s unsettling that Halifax
considered a student’s alcoholic
expenditure of ‘just’ £20.40 each
week to be an ‘optimistic’ statistic.
It doesn’t acknowledge that £20 a
week spent on alcohol can cause
serious illness, as well as drain
your loan.
Think
about
this
logically. £20.40 equates to
approximately ten trebles.
Thirteen trebles equates to 30
units of alcohol.
This is almost double the
weekly limit of units of alcohol for
men, and is over double the amount
for women - a worrying statistic.
Not only does this mean you are
increasingly predisposed to liver
damage, it could also lead to serious
debt.
Although £20 a week doesn’t sound
excessive, it adds up. Multiply the
£20 a week spent on alcohol with
the number of weeks you spend at
university per year – on average,
30 – your alcoholic expenses would
deplete your bank balance by £600.
Personally, I’d rather save the
money and use it for something
memorable, than waste it on
numerous forgotten, messy nights.
My aversion to drinking excessively
is not just about expense. It’s also
about integrity. And I’d like to keep
mine intact, thank you very much!
As if vomiting in public isn’t
humiliating enough, the vulgar
behaviour that seemed so funny
the night before appears a hell of
a lot worse in the bright light of
morning.
The pictures of you on the toilet,
with your knickers by your ankles,
and that familiar one of you, facially
attached to a guy you can’t even
remember the next morning is
pretty embarrassing.
What’s worse? Wasting a morning
untagging mortifying photos on
facebook, or needing photographic
evidence to remember the events of
the night before.
I know, I sound like a total
killjoy, but I’m not. Honestly! And
I’m especially not trying to guilt
students into becoming tee-total.
Many of my friends drink
excessively on nights out, and when
I receive a text the next morning
saying ‘never again’, I can’t resist a
little chuckle.
I recently suggested to a friend that
she tried pacing her alcoholic intake
throughout the night. She found
that drinking in moderation meant
she was able to have a great night,
feel confident, and even remember
everything the next morning.
Although both guys and girls
struggle with confidence issues,
neither being tee-total, nor binging
on a tankard of booze will remedy
low self-esteem.
The solution? Try measured
drinking. You’re able to relax and
have a great night without overspending and feeling those pangs of
regret the morning after.
Understandably, it doesn’t work
for everyone. But give it a go and
see if it works for you. Orange juice,
anyone?
HOW TO...claim back your bank charges
Just recently, the Court of Appeal
upheld an earlier High Court ruling
that bank overdraft charges have to
be fair.
In doing so, the Court dismissed the
banks’ appeal, leaving the way open
for the Office of Fair Trading (OFT)
to judge on the issue of fairness.
That the OFT will conclude that
bank overdraft charges are unfair is
highly likely – if it does, millions of
current account holders could be in
line for refunds totalling billions...
However, to prevent this, the
banks have since announced that
they plan to contest the decision in
the House of Lords. Remarkably,
they are doing so even though the
judges have refused them leave to
appeal...
In the meantime, the reclaim
process remains on hold. The
hold officially expires on the 26th
July 2009 but is expected to last
beyond this date as the legal battle
continues...
For claimants this is undoubtedly
bad news as (it means) many will
(now) have to prolong their wait,
perhaps until next year, to find out
if they can successfully recover their
unauthorised overdraft charges.
Conversely, the banks continue to
levy their charges, some of which
are as high as £38.
However, new guidelines have
made it possible for financially
hard-up students to reclaim their
money now.
This is because the Financial
Services Authority (FSA) has told
the banks that they must deal with
cases where the claimant is in
financial difficulty, during the hold
period.
Specifically, the guidelines cite
that the banks must ‘in making an
assessment of financial difficulty
[...] take into account [...] evidence
of changes in lifestyle, including [...]
starting full-time education.’
Among other forms of evidence
that they ought to consider are:
-items repeatedly being returned
unpaid due to lack of available
funds;
-making frequent cash withdrawals
on a credit card at a non-promotional
rate of interest;
-repeatedly exceeding a credit
card or overdraft limit without
agreement.
Furthermore, if necessary financial
commitments such as utilities and
rent cannot be afforded or if certain
debts (e.g. credit card debt) cannot
be repaid then there is a good chance
that the lender will consider an early
settlement.
To pursue an early settlement,
follow the steps below:
1.Write to your bank and request
a list of charges or statements going
back 6 years (5 years if you live in
Scotland).
Banks are allowed to charge up to
£10 for each request so ask that it
debits your account (ensuring you
have sufficient funds for them to do
so).
Alternatively,
if
you
have
insufficient funds or if your account
is closed, enclose a cheque for the
same amount with the original
letter.
2.Visit
www.moneyadvicetrust.
Uni
Verse
org and print off a ‘Common
Financial Statement’ (CFS). Fill in
the CFS to the best of your ability.
Banks require this in order to assess
you for financial hardship.
3.Once you have received the
data from the bank, add up all the
unauthorised overdraft charges and
detail them in a list.
To increase your claim, calculate
statutory interest upon each charge
at the rate of 8%. Enclose the list and
write to your bank demanding a full
refund of all unauthorised overdraft
charges on the basis that they are
unfair.
Make reference to your perceived
financial hardship and enclose a
copy of your completed Common
Financial Statement.
4.Await the decision of the bank.
5.The bank will reply by offering
settlement in full, partially or not
all.
6.In the event that it offers a partial
settlement or no settlement at all,
refer the complaint to the Consumer
Credit Counselling Service or the
Financial Ombudsman Service. Both
services are independent, impartial
and free to use.
7.Alternatively, as your claim
is now logged, simply await the
conclusion of the test case.
If you have incurred unauthorised
overdraft charges yet do
not consider yourself to be
experiencing hardship, it is
advisable to log your claim as
soon as possible for these reasons:
- There are currently over 750,000
claims on hold. As each is lodged on
a first come, first served basis, the
sooner one is received, the sooner it
will be dealt with once the test case
is over.
-The law can change. Act now
while it is in favour of the consumer
- A future appeal may well favour
the banks.
-Claimants in England, Wales and
Northern Ireland are only permitted
to make a claim for six years worth
of charges, five in they live in
Scotland.
To make certain that older
charges are not precluded by the
unresolved test case, it is essential
that prospective claims are lodged
immediately.
Simon
Turner,
a
part-time
undergraduate reading English
Literature & Philosophy, operates a
small claims management business
that provides services to people in
need of claiming back their unfair
bank charges. He is offering his
services to other students at a
reduced rate of 20% if any would
like him to work on their behalf.
Go to www.studentbankcharges.
co.uk or www.bankchargesolutions.
co.uk
Simon Turner
Dave
Wingrave
D
rugs at university. Sigh, what a cliché. Thing is, like so many clichés that
exist here, they exist for a good reason.
Drugs of most descriptions (let’s not go
too overboard here), are pretty cool.
Ok, quite a statement there, but most
of you reading this will know that, deep
down, you agree. Drugs still have attached to them, for whatever reason, an
air of glamour and danger- the two most
important, potent components of ‘cool’.
Like smoking, that John-Wayne positive
stigma will probably stay with them as
long as they remain illegal.
‘Cool’ is not necessarily a good thing,
however. In fact in most cases it isn’t,
but that’s really not the point here.
University is a time for experimenting,
if you’re lucky enough to have made
it here, you’ve been granted the most
wonderful waiting room before ‘real
life’ starts, not making the most of it will
leave you an intensely boring person after three years.
While this is starting to sound like
a tirade against those of you sensible enough to listen to your mothers
and leave dabbling in the darker side
of things to idiots like me, it really
shouldn’t be construed as such. Taking
drugs is utterly, totally, completely your
own choice, and should never be anybody else’s. While this is often quoted
as the anti-peer pressure argument, it
works in reverse too. How many of you
haven’t tried something you otherwise
would have because of the fear of being judged- this is just as bad as being
forced to do something you’re not comfortable with. It’s nobody’s right to pass
sentence on a friend if all they’re doing
is attempting to broaden their horizons.
Of course, this is all a massive generalization. The in’s, out’s and micro-details
concerning the social laws of substance
abuse can hardly be summed up in one
column, but it serves as a reminder of
the issue. A major topic to take into consideration, though, is that illegal drugs
are, well, illegal. It’s so easy to forget
with things like ecstasy, which can be
so very public, what the penalties are if
you get caught.
In the end though, it’s all about peaks
and valleys. Leave those beans well
alone and you’ll at least be spared the
come-downs. I once burst into tears for
no reason when someone offered me a
bacon sandwich in the morning. But,
you never know, you might have an interesting time....I’ll leave it to you.
C
M
Y
K
FEATURES
19
courier.features@ncl.ac.uk
16th March 2009
Yes isn’t just a word, it’s an opportunity Splurgings
One girl’s mission to see what happens when you say yes to
Tom Ford
everything for 24 hours. Forget Jim Carrey, this is Olivia Gill’s
Recently,
I’ve been intrigued by the
going on in the arts building. It’s
story of what happens when you jump on board the ‘life’boat. ‘sit-in’
to highlight Israel/Palestine tensions
The Yes Man challenge was faced
with 100% sheer untainted fear.
Ever since starting Newcastle, my
fellow comrades and I have been
subjected to more challenges than
Anneka Rice.
Part Jackass, part breach of human
rights; passing the time has reached
colourful extremities.
This is why at two hours into
Operation Yes Man, when nothing
remotely exciting had happened, I
nearly called it quits and turned to
the Samaritans. Had I really become
this dull?
Yes. In the next hour I redeemed
myself from the pits of lacklustre
patheticness and became something
even worse: a good-housekeeping
charitable goddess. “Kitchen could
do with a tidy” I was onto it.
“We could do with some milk”
Down to Tesco in a jiffy. “Big Issue,
Madam?” Of course. Hell, I even
loitered on the steps of church in
answer to “Tea or coffee?”
Luckily before taking a pew I
realised these holy brews only
take place on Sundays. By the
time someone asked if I wanted
to go to Sea (the club, not literally)
I squealed YES; anything but the
recycling deity I had become.
And from thence doth the lady’s
dignity seem to dwindle. “Oi, Lil,
go entertain the DJ.” On the empty
dance floor of Sea I did my beloved
Beyonce “uh oh oh uh oh” shimmy
to the DJ.
Not any DJ though, oh no, he is
also the world renowned, resident
DJ of Blu Bambu. The one who
‘allegedly’ groped my friend. What
can I say, he bloody loved it.
Other
dancing
humiliation
included being dared to debag this
poor lad whose trousers were at
half mast.
Unfortunately, his jeans were
deceptively stable and fastened as
tight as a tourniquet. Embarassingly,
the whole process was a lot longer
than anticipated, my attempt being
as feeble as a Labrador pup clawing
at Andrex.
A
lot
of
strawpedo-ing,
minesweeping, buttock pinching
and VK snorting (don’t do it kids)
later, Operation Yes Man rapidly
descended to the level of any normal
night out, only it was me providing
the mortifying entertainment.
An innocent canary thrust into a
toxic mine, by the time Northern
Irish stranger at the bar offered
me shot after shot, my sambuca
saturated self was feeling the Yes
Man pressure.
But as it was, Mr Belfast was way
more trolleyed than I was. “Gi us a
snag luv” Oh hell, I pretended not
to understand what he meant but
dedication to the challenge ensued.
As I weighed up his comparative
attractiveness (surprisingly a beaut)
with apparent visible dribble in my
“Do I love the Courier this much?”
dilemma, Mr Belfast asked “Are
yous my girlfriend?” Oh shit.
I looked round anticipating
the fuming, handbag wielding
girlfriend but luckily Mr Belfast just
slumped and head-butted the bar
leaving me free to totter away.
“I
looked
round
anticipating the fuming,
handbag
wielding
girlfriend but luckily Mr
Belfast just slumped and
head-butted the bar leaving
me free to totter away.”
I definitely should have stayed at
church. I take this time to apologise
to anyone who saw me on Friday,
anyone who was violated and to
Mr X downstairs whose doorbell I
frequently abuse.
I also apologise to the Courier
for ruining their drugs survey
for answering yes to every illegal
substance under the sun.
Dirty
bedroom
mishaps
Ever caught the look from someone that you think you recognise
but can’t quite remember why? Then as you approach for a better
look you get a sudden flash back that hits you like gut punch
from Chuck Norris... last Thursday, the hottie from the casino, a
drunken fumble over the roulette table before home for doggy
style on the washing machine! Well now this is awkward, and
don’t Lucy Roue and Lucy Marsden just know it.
Ok, so we all want to ‘do it like they
do on the discovery channel’, but
after one too many Jager bombs
on the Toon, which may often be
the case at Uni, sex can have its
occasional mishaps.
Let’s not beat around the bush,
we all know the score; drunken
dirty talk that gives you the giggles,
erectile issues, a tangle of underwear,
a wrong hole incident …I mean who
knows what you guys get up to!
Yet coping with these immensely
embarrassing moments is a whole
other ball game, excuse the pun,
because unless you’re lucky enough
to make a swift exit, you will have
to deal with this person in the cold
light of day.
Do you just laugh it off then to save
face, re-adjust and re-assure?
Perhaps you pretend you haven’t
even noticed the impossibility of
that sex position or the fact he’s
just called you by the wrong name;
technicalities after all!
The ins and outs of it suggest that
whichever approach you take, you
need to minimize the inevitable
awkwardness that follows.
Long silences or mumbled
apologies will just prolong the
embarrassment - so you need to act,
and act quickly. Therefore, we have
banged out a couple of solutions for
you, just something to bear in mind
in case a sexual mishap should
suddenly occur, mid-sesh!
Risky Recording
No matter how exciting it may seem
at the time, being videoed whilst
getting down to it is only going to
end in one thing…DISASTER!
Despite his claims of confidentiality,
you can guarantee that before you’ve
even had chance to sneak silently out
the door and into the walk of shame,
he’s going to have your seemingly
‘private rendezvous’ burned onto a
disk.
Thus displayed in high definition
on the living room TV, it will serve
as a steamy source of pre-Match of
the Day entertainment for him and
the lads next door.
Suddenly bumping into him down
the booze aisle in Tesco, with flat
mates in tow, is about the closest
you can possibly get to social suicide
and therefore a definite mishap to be
avoided.
Stripping
Let’s be fair, stripping has to be a
major site for potential mishap. What
is it with guys and undressing? Be
sensuous and slow!
Our expensive underwear should
not be ripped at like pound shop
wrapping paper. Slipping off our bra
with one hand, or worse still, with
teeth does not impress us; it only
serves to make you look like you’ve
practiced far too many times...on far
too many women.
And please remember to remove
your socks! No other sight is a more
effective mood killer than a naked
guy in shiny white Puma socks.
Slips of the tongue
Oh dear, a case of the drunken dirty
talker! He was such a gentleman all
night and now he’s had a couple,
he keeps referring to himself as ‘the
penetrator’ in some kind of strange
Arny impression, what to do!?
Clearly, this is not a laugh-along
situation; you can only keep him
quiet through kissing for so long
and if he doesn’t cut it out soon you
may never return from that fifth
pseudo-toilet trip!
Therefore, try to lead by example
or if you are not into it per see, just
simply tell him!
Slips in other places
It may have been a genuine
accident, so try not to respond with
too much hostility, but a surprise
knock at the back door is never fun,
on any level.
We
suggest
immediate
readjustment or at least some guiding
intervention; don’t just leave him
to it and hope he realizes though
because chances are that he wont…
and even if he does realize, he’s
probably going to pretend he
didn’t!
All in all, you may conclude that
avoiding alcohol and men is the best
solution, but realistically ‘the Uni
life’ is not about abstaining or for
that matter behaving.
So if your slap and tickle gets a
bit cringy at times, try to make the
most, at least its unpredictable!
One day we will all laugh
retrospectively at our more
precarious sexual experiences,
from the comfort of our dull
married lives and annual
missionary position.
and I was grabbed by the hastily scribbled signs, and moving shadows.
After stopping to try to make out the
dawbings, I was quickly approached.
He had flesh tunnels and Doc Martens,
so I shallowly guessed he was part of the
activities, but he was also in a suit. He
was on the outside. He spoke with intelligence and warm-heartedness. I saw
him as the level-headed leader amongst
a driven and clear minded band of men.
He was the voice of reason. Like Alex out
of A Clockwork Orange, he had clarity
and cleverness to lead ideals. But with
less ultra violence, rape and eye makeup. Probably.
Being in a good mood, I was prepared
to be open minded. He started saying exciting things like ‘they aren’t letting food
in!’ and ‘the university won’t speak to
us’! In the space of about 26 seconds he
had successfully explained what all the
kerfuffle was about and he had impassioned me, made me feel involved in the
cause. I was filled with the excitement
of protest, of sticking it to ‘Them’. My
thoughts raced. I imagined bolting past
the security guard, emphatically bursting open the doors and embracing my
fellow protesters. Here I am! Fuck the
system!... Hey, I thought, I could even
get a piercing.
I very soon came to the sensible prediction that after about 13 minutes spent
discussing Palestine/Israel politics (of
which I know absolutely nothing) in a
stuffy glass room with frighteningly driven students, I’d miss the things I need to
survive. Things like jelly tots, Stella and
toothpaste. And StreetCrimeUK. I’d be a
crap protester. I’d be like the 6 year old
on a car journey to Devon, constantly
moaning if this bloody thing was over.
After this, I realised that anyone can
make anyone do or think anything if
they make the right face-noises, say the
right words in the right order, or have
the correct rhetoric. Take, for example, frighteningly realistic Chimp Puppet ‘George Bush’. He wore a suit and
said all these effective words like ‘war’,
‘terror’ and ‘nynelleven’. Heck! We all
thought. We’ve got to do something. Get
them! Them weapons of mass whatever.
Quick, before the terror gets us! Terror’s
shit!
His advisors even convinced us to be
scared of things that we weren’t sure existed or not. “There are knowns, known
unknowns, and unknown unknowns…
The unknown unknowns, we do not
even know we don’t know them,” Roosevelt famously spouted out of his idiotic
crow-face. Shit!
There are unperceivable terrors that
could emerge at any time. Because we
don’t know about them. What a boneshuddering prospect. It’s like being 4
again, when you’re afraid of ghoulies
under your bed, the dark, and potatoes
(I was, anyway).
Eff this. If you want me, I’m locking
myself away for a few years. Not in the
arts building.
FEATURES
20
16th March 2009
courier.features@ncl.ac.uk
l
a
p
e
N
Charlie Walker and friends follow up a drunken boast to cycle
around the Himalayas.
Last summer, five of us set off to Nepal
on a cycling and hiking trip. The plan
was conceived almost a year earlier when
three of us made a drunken, whimsical
boast that we would go cycling in the
Himalayas.
Somehow it materialised and, before we
knew it, we had arrived in Kathmandu at
night with groggy heads after a 21st at
30,000 ft. We dumped our kit in a cheap
hotel and wandered into the heart of
the city, brimming with excitement and
naiveté.
Thamel, the pulsing tourist hub of
Nepal, is a crowded area, teeming with
vendors, beggars, street kids and reggae
bars. After a quick curry, we retired and
were kept awake all night by the coming
and going of prostitutes and their clients.
We were itching to leave the city and
get on our bikes so only took one day for
preparation and exploring the city.
Wedged between Tibet and India,
Nepal is a fascinating meeting point of
Buddhist, Hindu and Sikh culture. As
you walk through the impossibly tight
alleyways of the city, you stumble upon
countless temples of varying sizes with
all sorts of decorative offerings draped
over them.
The rickshaws, bicycles and motorbikes
squeeze through, while people weave
and duck their way into any available
space. In the old quarter of town, Dunbar
Square contains the largest and most
impressive temples, covered in intricate
wooden carvings and roofed with
ancient, ornate terracotta tiles. The warm
air hangs heavily, thick with the heady
smoke of religious offerings.
We set off before sunrise the next day
in the hope of beating the morning rush
hour. After ninety minutes in the wrong
direction, we turned and faced the hot,
dusty, potholed orgy of rushing trucks
and buses.
The city was vibrant but we were all
relieved when it thinned and gradually
gave way to some of the most stunning
landscapes I have ever encountered.
Lush green hills covered with terraced
rice paddies on even the steepest slopes.
Friendly locals rushing out of their
homes, waving and shouting ‘Namaste’!
The small children, either pushing you
up a hill or churlishly throwing stones at
you.
It was a six day cycle, through heavy
monsoons, to the town of Jiri. Most of
these days were spent toiling uphill on
long and winding roads, through verdant
greenery and oppressive heat for hours
on end, trying to keep one’s mind off the
perineum pain.
The 30mph races down the other side
of the valley, and out of the clouds made
it all worth while. Blind corners, no
helmets, over-loaded bikes and badly
adjusted brakes!
One day we thought we had reached the
top, so celebrated with a beer. Combined
with the altitude and exercise, this left us
in giggles as we discovered we were half
way and had to wind our wobbly way on
and up.
Camping was an interesting aspect of
our trip. Thinking the Himalayas would
naturally be cold, we had come equipped
with thick sleeping bags and wind-proof
tents.
Unfortunately the foot hills are very
hot during monsoon season, and so the
nights were spent sweating, and fending
off the varied insects, our sleeping bags
left untouched.
Locals found us fascinating and
mesmerised crowds would gather
while we erected our tents and cooked,
sometimes for hours on end. We were
shown great kindness by a family in a
village who sheltered us from a fierce
midday monsoon and let us sleep in
their house for the night, feeding us and
stubbornly refusing anything in return.
In Jiri, we piled into a guest house to
rest, and plan our onward journey. Whilst
we considered our options, the cook
appeared and offered to take us to Mt.
Everest base camp for an embarrassingly
cheap price. We took him up on the offer
and departed on foot the next morning
for a three week trek.
Our Guide, KB, was incredibly friendly
and good company on the trip, despite
not being able to learn any of our names
in the three weeks we knew him. We
were constantly climbing in altitude and
leeches became a real issue as they can
work their way through boots, and up
walking sticks onto one’s arms.
I woke up one morning with a plump
little bugger, lying on my pillow, having
feasted on my face. We slept in basic rustic
lodges which cooked good traditional
Nepalese food and were run by very
friendly locals, always smiling. Dal Bhat
(rice and lentil soup) is the staple dish.
In one Lodge, the owner switched
on an old television and we glimpsed
Boris Johnson waving clumsily from the
Olympic closing ceremony.
The air really began to thin in the town
of Namche Bazaar at nearly 4000m above
sea level. Here we took a rest day and I
gladly disposed of a pair of socks which
had served, unwashed, for over a week of
trudging.
A potent cheese fondu and many ample
portions of changi (home-brewed rice
beer) resulted in a fairly hazy evening
and some very lucid dreams.
After Namche, we were starting to push
up amongst the highest mountains where
the temperature dropped accordingly.
The weather was still very thick for a
couple of days and hulking yaks would
suddenly loom ahead of us on the rocky
mountain paths.
The sky cleared on the third day
allowing spectacular views of the snow
capped mountains. They stood silently in
the distance and seemed unreal, like vast
sculptures of how a mountain should
look. Small monasteries and Buddhist
monuments dotted the surroundings and
were made very picturesque by myriad
colourful prayer flags.
One day we thought we
had reached the top, so
celebrated with a beer.
Combined with the
altitude and exercise, this
left us in giggles as we
discovered we were half
way and had to wind our
wobbly way on and up.
We were now only a few miles from
the Tibetan border, and in the land of the
Sherpa, where Buddhism is foremost.
Inside a 604 year old monastery we
heard haunting, rhythmic chanting from
hidden monks, and were told tales of the
mythical Yeti.
Our first sight of Everest was both
exciting and incredibly anti-climactic.
It was a tiny hidden triangle, wedged
behind two larger looking mountains
and tightly framed by rolling clouds.
This is why Sagarmartha (Sherpa name
for Everest) remained unrecognised as
the world’s tallest mountain for so long.
Approaching base camp was a strain.
We were above the clouds and the
beating sun only served to exacerbate the
headache brought about by the 5300m
altitude.
Whilst crossing the final glacier we
witnessed the awesome power of a
relatively nearby avalanche. Shortly
afterwards, our guide sprinted away
shouting that the sun was melting the
glacier and rocks might fall.
We all sprang into action, leaping from
rock to rock, while large boulders started
to roll. A whisky toast to the mountain
was all we had time for before we began
a fairly rapid descent.
It did feel incredible to be so near to
this monstrous mountain which has
claimed over 200 lives. It is peacefully
hidden amongst smaller, more beautiful
mountains and I think this secrecy is part
of its charm.
The return journey was quicker and
easier. We reached Jiri in very good time
and almost managed to halve our cycling
time back to Kathmandu. Evidently all
the exercise paid off. We passed a couple
of days in the city before negotiating our
ludicrously overweight baggage onto the
plane and, with regret, flying home.
Nepal left me with many impressions.
The western crush of the capital and the
happiness of the pitifully poor villagers.
The quiet, dignified calm of the Buddhist
faith, and the overwhelming beauty of
the country. Most of all the remoteness
of it all: land-locked and, until recently,
inaccessible.
C
M
Y
K
CULTURE
16th March 2009
21
editor.union@ncl.ac.uk
Ents Jake Aiken Winter
Hot Chip @ WHQ pg. 24
Art The Big Debate
Shock-lit: all talk? pg. 22
Music Olivia Mee
on The Killers pg. 29
Film Pete Duggan
Gets animated pg. 26
Bachelors of booze
Alex Bowell ponders the impact a rise in alcohol cost would
have on the average undergraduate
F
or the last three years, I have
been studying for a BA. For about
5 hours a week that acronym stands
for Bachelor of Arts, some sort of
academic award they give out if you
read books and write the occasional
essay.
For the rest of the week however,
BA stands for Beer Appreciation.
This is not a qualification per se,
although I probably spend the same
amount of cash on this as I do on my
university top up fees, and I take it
just as seriously. I attend educational
events in lecture rooms, or ‘pubs’,
and at the end of the course I get a
bloated stomach and jowls, rather
than a roll of paper tied with a
decorative ribbon.
It goes without saying that
undergraduate student life is a
transitional period for modern
youth, and that it is as much about
entering adult society as it is about
honing your academic skills. It is
the first time that the majority of us
have lived for a sustained period
outside of the domestic cocoon, the
first time we really learn through
experience without constant parental
monitoring. So the natural reaction
is to go and experiment with alcohol,
because we have student loans to
blow, and because the leash has
finally been removed from around
our necks.
I read on the front page of The
Courier last week that 75% of
students at the university binge drink
every week. I must admit, I was not
shocked in the least by these results.
In fact, I would go as far as to say
that these numbers sound quite low.
The urge to drink heavily is not just
ingrained into the student because
they look to fulfil the ‘lazy drunk
student’ stereotype that is celebrated
throughout popular culture, but,
crucially, because it is an attitude
lying right at the heart of the Union
and the University’s numerous
institutions.
The overwhelming majority of
University events, Freshers Week,
R.A.G. Week, sports team outings,
society socials etc. flock to the likes
of Sam Jacks or Blu Bambu, where
copious cheap dirt-drinks lubricate
proceedings, enabling team building
and socialising to run as smoothly as
possible. Whilst society presidents
rope in new recruits by waving the
offer of cheap drinks under their
noses, the Union casts its nets out to
gather up thirsty students through
similar cut-price offers.
In fact, without the offer of cheap
drinks, our Union would be in
financial dire straits, and unable
to fund many of the other, less
conspicuous, services the student
population so desperately requires
it to provide. The longevity of the
Union is, in fact, largely dependent
upon this culture of overindulgence.
But this trend of binge drinking,
the consumption of 4 or 5 drinks, or
50% of your recommended weekly
intake of alcohol in one sitting, is
anything but a localised concern for
the student populace.
Far from it in fact; it is a national
“...the natural
reaction to
University
is to go and
experiment
with alcohol.”
concern that can be located within
all age groups, and a phenomenon
attributed to all classes, and every
nook and cranny in the country.
Yet, it remains the north of England
and Scotland that receives the worst
press, particularly in television
documentaries such as Booze Britain
and Bouncers, which stress the culture
of aggression and violence that is
associated with binge drinking.
The
overwhelming
rise
of
alcoholism, and the detrimental
effect it is having to society, is
particularly noticeable in Scotland,
which lays claim to having the eighth
highest alcohol consumption rate in
the world, and where alcohol abuse
costs the country’s economy £2.25bn
a year. Hence recent proposals by
Scottish ministers to set a minimum
price for units of alcohol, and ban
cheap-as-chips BOGOF booze offers.
Late licensing clearly has failed to
have the damning effect ministers
desired, so now drinkers are going
to be hit where it hurts most: the
wallet.
Granted, there is a border and
Hadrian’s wall separating us from our
neighbours, yet behaviour is perhaps
not as different as governmental
ministers seek to believe. In the
majority of Newcastle’s pubs and
clubs, alcohol goes for the same
‘pocket money’ prices that it does
further north, and street violence is
not what I’d call low by any means.
The difference is that Newcastle,
as one of the top ‘party’ cities in the
world (if you can believe it, I could
name quite a few foreign climes
that I’d rather check out), ships its
drunken hooligans in from all over
the country.
If it were not for ‘zany’ fairy
costumes and those pink limos which
shuttle them around the town, it
would be hard to discern the stag or
hen party crews who have travelled
hours to hit the town hard from the
local, or the student, residents.
Which begs the question, if the
government were to extend these
recent proposals to encompass
Newcastle as well as Scotland, and
the price of alcohol rose drastically,
as it would need to do to have a
discernible effect in curbing this
excessive alcohol consumption,
what would happen to Newcastle’s
nightlife, and the student’s place
within it?
If prices rose drastically we would
be less able, and less inclined, to
spend our money on going out, in the
knowledge that supermarkets were
continuing to offer the rock bottom
prices they currently do.
Thirty years ago, according to my
father, a Newcastle veteran, students
were out almost every night,
propping up bars all around the
city. But that, of course, was before
binge drinking was invented. Today,
the majority of students have a ‘big’
night out once or twice a week, but
live a hermit existence inside their
homes for the other five days.
If prices rise, will the student still
have a place to go for a night out in the
city, or will the student living room,
after a quick dash to Tesco for a crate
or some bottles of Lambrini’s finest,
be the only remaining watering hole
for the poverty-stricken student?
22
16th March 2009
CULTURE
pulp.art@ncl.ac.uk
To all those readers out there who think that as the editor of the Arts section, my holidays are spent swanning around arts galleries in a kaftan or quoting
Shakespeare in leafy parks, I‘m sorry to disappoint you with the content of this editorial. To be honest, I’m more likely to spend Easter watching repeats of
Come Dine With Me and eating Cheerios than doing anything remotely cultural, or even anything remotely active. Don’t get me wrong, I love the arts and
one of the reasons I choose to come to Newcastle is because of its fearsome reputation as one of the fore-runners of the Northern cultural renaissance, but
somehow when I venture back to the artistic wasteland that is the Midlands, washing the dog suddenly becomes the highlight of my week.
For one thing, I live on the outskirts of Wolverhampton, which is hardly a byword for edgy art and innovative culture, and for another I come from an
entirely male-dominated family where football is far more highly prized than theatre. However, this year I have decided to stop being a stereotypically
apathetic student and actually take the time to explore the local galleries, amateur dramatic societies and second-hand book fairs that have so far paled into
insignificance besides the Baltic, the Laing and the Northern Stage. Without sounding massively patronising, I feel that it’s my duty as arts ed. to encourage
you all to engage in a little bit of what I like to call Holiday Culture. Trust me, it’s not as tragic as it sounds.
Even if Holiday Culture sounds about as appealing as a frontal lobotomy, I implore you to fill your boots with arty goodness while you can, with all the
cultural treats on offer up here in Newcastle. Look Back in Anger is showing at the ever-reliable Northern Stage, the impressively flexible Newcastle Dance
Soc is staging a show and the local galleries are chock-a-block with cutting-edge art, so check it our now before you become welded to the sofa at home and
consume your own body weight in Easter Eggs.
Katie xxx (pulp.arts@ncl.ac.uk)
The Big Debate: Shock-Lit
Are controversial novels, such as the recently published
Wetlands, really just a case of all talk and no trousers?
Against...
For...
Okay, here we go. How do
I convince you discernable
intellectual types that shock-lit
is good, other than by pointing
out the fact that if you say it fast
it sounds like a girl’s best friend.
My friend Danny pointed out
that A Clockwork Orange is quite
shocking, and also sounds a bit
like Terry’s Chocolate Orange
and so I have to conclude that the
two things (chocolate and shocklit) are inextricably linked.
I may as well confess right now,
I’ve not read a huge amount of
what we might consider shock-lit.
This is neither because I haven’t
wanted to nor because I have. I’m
an English Lit student and as such
haven’t read anything that hasn’t
been on my course for three years;
a feeble excuse but it’s the truth.
But then again, Lady Chatterley’s
Lover was considered shock-lit
once and we’re cool with that
now, aren’t we? So I am using the
only book that I have actually read
that I think falls into this category
as an example of why shock-lit is
good; great even.
I read American Psycho out of
interest when I was naught but
a youth, and I was shocked. It is,
after all, quite shocking; hence its
inclusion in this argument. But I
absolutely loved every twisted
minute of it. Does that make me
sick? I’m not sure that it does.
Bret Easton Ellis uses graphic
violence to illustrate the darkest
corners of the human psyche, and to
show us his protagonist’s descent
into whatever-it-is by swapping
the in-depth descriptions of his
sexual encounters for disturbing
blow-by-blow accounts of his
violent mutilations, in which the
sex is reduced to nothing more
than a footnote.
It all sounds incredibly wanky
doesn’t it? But I think it’s fabulous.
Yes it turned my stomach, but
it wouldn’t have had nearly the
same effect on me if it hadn’t.
And to tell you the truth there are
hundreds, probably thousands if
not millions of books out there
that slap a nipple on the cover
and a murder in the blurb just to
sell a few copies to people who
can’t be arsed with something
more complicated; I would agree
that that’s gratuitous and without
point.
However, just because there
are some books that exploit the
human fascination with sex and
death, it doesn’t mean that all
books containing the extremes of
these aren’t worthy of acclaim,
or aren’t trying to communicate
a serious message through these
vices. Or maybe they are and I’m
just reading too much into it. But,
I’m a lit student; it’s my job to
over-analyse.
My conclusion after my little
ramble is that shock-lit done well
only serves to show us the bits of
ourselves that we’re ashamed of; I
mean, can we really get on board
with people who actually think
up this kind of stuff? If we can’t
we’re either lying to ourselves or
just pretending. And if that’s sick
of me then hell, maybe I should
publish it.
Madeline Gould
Ah wonderful, an argument in
which any dissenting opinion can
make one look like a reactionary,
clueless idiot – what kind of
madman, after all, would wish
to deny literature the power to
shock?
Only, that’s not what I want to
argue at all. Instead, I’d like to
make the distinction between
literature that shocks as part of
an artistic statement, and Shock
Literature that only shocks
because it’s their only trick.
Forget the idea that books like
The Wasp Factory, American Psycho
or Fight Club are Shock Lit. These
are just books that attracted
outrage from clueless idiots
with nothing better to do and
an apparent inability to actually,
y’know, read the bloody things
they’re so upset about.
That said, the author of the latter
book in that brief list, Chuck
Palahniuk, has gone from an
innocent victim of media idiocy
into the most terrible variety of
hack, with his books becoming
increasingly vapid and pointless
while upping the gross-out factor
each time. I make tragically little
exaggeration when I write that his
most recent excretion, Snuff, is the
worst book I’ve ever purchased,
pasting in various facts and figures
about the pornography industry
in place of plot, characterisation
or anything that at least resembles
artistic integrity.
Indeed, the only truly shocking
thing about Shock Lit is how
horrifyingly obvious so much
of it is. Should you ever wish to
spend an afternoon despairing for
mankind’s future, venture to the
‘Tragic Life Stories’ section of WH
Smiths, packed as it will be with
(presumably fictional, whatever
the cover might claim) tales with
titles like Mama, Not Gravel For
Breakfast And Cyanide For Tea
Because Dad’s On The Booze Again,
and think of how many people
read this lazy garbage.
Sadly, I’m arguing without
seeing what my adversary
has written (and vice versa,
obviously), but it’s the superficial,
ultimately un-transgressive nature
of this commercial Shock Lit that
I loathe. Not everything that is
labelled such deserved the banner,
but that which does deserves the
highest derision. Besides, if you
want to be shocked, Baudelaire,
de Sade and Lautemont is where
it’s at…
Mark Corcoran-Lettice
Dancing Queens
As a teenager obsessed with Save the Last
Dance, Footloose and Dirty Dancing (and as
a slightly older teenager rather shamefully
addicted to Step Up 2: The Streets) it’s
always been a bit of a dream to compete in
a bonafide dancing competition and I don’t
mean the kind where your mum scrapes
your hair back into pigtails so severe that
you’re left with a permanent face-lift.
Luckily, the Newcastle Dance Society
has been fulfilling my childhood (alright,
adolescent) fantasies on my behalf by
recently competing in the Edinburgh StepUp dance competition and walking away
with a pretty dazzling set of results, with
first place in Tap, second place in Ballet
and third place in Hip-Hop. So apparently
dance soc isn’t all tap shoes and tutus.
The group is enabling other Newcastle
dance enthusiasts to witness their awardwinning choreography and routines with
a show taking place at the Royal Grammar
School in Jesmond on the 17th and 18th of
March that, according to vice-president
Lizzie Holden, promises to include “...tap,
ballet, jazz, contemporary dance, hip-hop,
street, cheerleading, salsa, swing plus some
amazing group numbers that involves the
entire cast with over 70 people doing the
same routine.”
With such a talented group of dancers it
should be quite a night, and it is a definite
must-see for those who have always
secretly wished they were Baby from Dirty
Dancing, even with the dodgy 80s perm.
Tickets are £4 for students and £6 for
adults and will be available outside the
Union, or people can contact dance.
society@ncl.ac.uk for more info.
Katie Witcombe
C
M
Y
K
23
pulp.art@ncl.ac.uk
CULTURE
16th March 2009
Angry Young Man
This week, Arts previews Look Back in Anger, one of the original
“kitchen-sink” dramas and a masterclass in domestic disillusionment
If you’re expecting a play based
on Oasis, you’ll be disappointed.
However, if you’re looking
for
tissue-twisting
dramatic
theatre, prepare to be thoroughly
impressed.
After seventeen days of writing
from a deckchair on Morecambe
Pier, playwright John Osborne
fashions the 1956 masterpiece
Look Back in Anger - a “blazingly
real” production that deals with
issues of class, failing dreams and
the loss of hope in the world.
The plot revolves around an
intelligent graduate Jimmy Porter;
your typical “angry young man”,
who is disillusioned with British
society as well as with the wider
world beyond.
But hold on, put down those
razor-blades because this isn’t
one of those perennially doommongering plays. A pulsating
love triangle emerges between
working-class Jimmy, his uppermiddle class wife and her upperclass friend, landing the characters
in a juxtaposition of extraordinary
passion and everyday life.
This is definitely a play of great
controversy, particularly given
the bland and escapist attitudes of
fifties’ theatre- when the play first
opened, audiences were stunned
by the sight of...an ironing board
on stage – shock horror!
The post-war malaise of British
theatre led to a huge reliance
on the influx of American and
French plays. Osborne was one of
the first of his time to reject this
and fight for home-grown and
realist dramatics. He does away
with airy-fairyness previously
associated with the theatre, and
instead uses the play to comment
on the betrayal of a generation.
The protagonist character of
Jimmy Porter is imbued with
a good measure of Osborne’s
own viewpoints and bile,
particularly with regards to
familial relationships. His own
disastrous relationship with
his mother and unhappy first
marriage clearly influenced the
emotional direction of the play, so
it’s not that surprising that during
production, he ended up eloping
with leading lady Mary Ure!
In the play, Porter’s contentions
of class are worth paying attention
to – he is at his most frenetic
during his frequent visceral
tirades at his long-suffering wife
and her comfortable childhood
background. Moreover, his steamy
affair with blue-blooded Helen
adds an alternative perspective
to the play’s social commentary
A night to remember
Madeleine Gould reviews the recent NUTS production
of The Importance of Being Earnest...
I expected great things from
the NUTS production of this
legendary play, and I am thrilled
to report that I was in no way
disappointed.
For a start, directors James Bailey
and Kathryn Fielding picked
the most wonderful venue; the
Mansion House in Jesmond. The
name says it all really. We all
piled in with eager anticipation,
some of us dressed up to the nines
(because if you can’t dress up
for the theatre, when can you?),
and came to a silent unanimous
decision that if the play was
anything near as perfect as the
venue then we’d be in for a treat.
The leads were incredibly well
cast; Duncan Smith’s charming
portrayal of Algy instantly won
the audience over and held them
for the duration of the show
whilst Tom Winsor’s delightful if
“Tom Winsor’s
delightful if slightly
unhinged Earnest
made me laugh
potentially the
most I’ve laughed
in while...”
slightly unhinged Earnest made
me laugh potentially the most
I’ve laughed in a while as he
scrabbled with Algy for muffins
before running away like a child.
The girls were gorgeous (kudos
to costumers Lizzie Jackson and
Claire Haddon-Grant for making
everyone look so splendid.)
Phoebe Higson as Gwendolyn
and Hettie Du Cros playing
Cecily were excellently set up in
stark contrast against each other,
whilst being totally believable as
best friends.
Harry Haynes made an excellent
Lady Bracknell, showing her
worth by holding her own in such
a daunting part. However, for a
hopeless romantic in need of a
laugh, the whole show was stolen
by Miss Prism and Chasuble, both
played to perfection by Margaret
Cluny and Archie Ahern.
Indeed, so entertaining were the
two that it occasionally distracted
attention from the rest of the
action; a potential negative in
amongst all the positives, but not
a very big one.
Personal highlights? The
aforementioned muffin-grabbing
and the curtain call in which
both Prism and Chasuble had to
hold their specs to their faces as
they bent down. Actually, that
does the play down doesn’t it…
Scratch that.
It was a charming play done
incredibly well; the actors dealt
with the tricky dialogue superbly
and it looked fantastic. Given that
the majority of the cast have a
long NUTS career ahead of them I
take the success of The Importance
of Being Earnest as a very good
sign for the society. And now,
I’ll stop gushing. How frightfully
Luvvie of me.
Madeline Gould
rather than employing the
generic truth-will-find-you-out
consequences. Because sometimes
real life doesn’t work out that way,
and that is just what Osborne is
trying to get at.
With a cast of only five, the play
is sure to be intense. The verbose
and charismatic Porter is played
by ex-Corrie star Bill Ward,
famed for his award-winning
departure from the soap, but
lesser known for being a born
and bred Geordie (hailing from
Gosforth for all you trivia-hunters
out there.) Alongside him, feature
Nia Gwynne as Alison, Laura
Howard, a familiar face from
We
Midsomer
Murders,
Welsh
actor Rob Storr and RSC regular
Robert East. With direction from
Northern Stage Chief Exec. Erica
Whyman (behind the successful
revivals of A Doll’s House and Our
Friends from the North), the careful
blend of despair and passion will
ensure that Look Back in Anger
has you on the very edge of your
seats. Definitely not one to miss.
For ticket prices and performance
times go to www.northernstage.
co.uk
Stephanie Ferrao
Books
Best Nazi Thriller:
The Nazis have long fascinated
people: the atrocities committed
during their reign are so macabre
that they have an air of fiction
about them. This, exacerbated by
our perceptions of the glorious
Allies victorious over the evil
Nazis, imprinted on us through
decades of popular culture, forms
a part of our national identity.
Imagine then if it was defeat,
not victory, we were faced with;
an alternate history where the
Nazi’s won World War Two.
This alternate history is the
basis for Robert Harris’ 1992
novel: Fatherland. Set more than
a decade after the end of the war
in the 1960s, Fatherland depicts a
Germany not only victorious in
war but in the cover up of the
Holocaust.
The plot focuses around Kripo
detective Xavier March, who in the
week leading up to Hitler’s 75th
birthday is faced with the murder
of a Nazi official. As he unearths
more details, more deaths start
to occur and he becomes aware
that he is involved in a political
scandal, where senior members
of the Nazi party are dying under
suspicious circumstances.
The Gestapo are quick to take
over jurisdiction of the case, but
March continues the search for
truths, meeting up with female
American journalist Charlie
Maguire along the way – who
lends March somewhat of a
helping hand!
Ultimately they discover the
Gestapo is killing all the Nazis
involved in the Holocaust, in an
attempt to erase all evidence of
the atrocities. The plan is for the
journo to get to Switzerland and
release the truth to the world.
However, the Gestapo is already
onto them and the plot descends
into a race against time.
In comparison to the novel,
my plot summary sounds like
an episode outline of ‘Allo
‘Allo, but Fatherland truly is a
brilliantly written thriller with
more fast-paced action and
government cover-ups then the
Bourne Trilogy. Harris creates
the world of the third Reich with
convincing realism; intertwining
real characters and events with
his alternative history; the
intelligent depiction of German
life under the Nazi’s which he
creates is educated and thorough.
It’s a world where the Beatles
play on the radio whilst the
Nazis practice their celebration
ceremonies under a huge arch of
triumph.
The novel is brilliant: gripping,
yet harrowing in its account of
events, which are all too close to
being reality. The final chapter in
particular has a poignancy which
affects the reader long after
they’ve finished the novel.
Frances Kroon
CULTURE
pulp.ents@ncl.ac.uk
24
16th March 2009
Wowowowow. It’s like, Easter.
Seriously, despite my negligence to my course, this term has gone seriously fast. And what’s even scarier, next term is only TWO ISSUES long. The end is most
defs nigh.
Still, end of term equals muchos partying. Hey, we’ve got a whole month off of uni, but also a 28day absence from frequenting Newcastle’s drinking holes,
museums and dancehalls, which means cramming a months-worth into a week, yay!
I still remember last years’ WHQ pre-Easter party as being one of the best nights of my Fresherdom, and I’m seriously gutted to be missing it this year. Honestly,
if it wasn’t good enough without top class DJs, it’s going to be ridiculously fun now. Ah well, I guess paying through the nose for drinks at a Brighton Fashoin
party is going to compensate...Or not. Have one on me!
xxx Vince-Ents
previews
Term is Over and Over and Over
- Hot Chip @ WHQ
Over and over and over like a Geordie
to a Magpie match I find myself
marching into World Headquarters.
Yet to be let down, I’m beginning to
forget the concept of a bad night.
In the closing few weeks of lent,
when it seems the lack of chocolate/
biscuits/facebook (or whatever) is
sapping the joy out of our lives, those
lovely fellas from whq are here to
rescue us lucky northern dwellers
with the king of guest DJs.
Picture this: you’re a prophet who’s
been wondering for days in the
desert without food or water, then
suddenly out of the haze, there he is,
your salvation, Joe Hot Chip on his
mystical decks of wisdom!
Those who are in the know will
be fully aware of his excruciatingly
orgasmic club filling tunes.
Those who aren’t will be aching
to hear/see/touch/feel/be him in
approximately 155 words time. Hotter
than a polystyrene tray of chips from
Munchies, Joe’s floor flooding tunes
will raise your heart rate and create
that peculiar twitch in your feet
Friday 20th
that’ll spread upwards through your
body until the beats and tunes will
be spilling out of your eyes- literal
musical tears of joy.
His mighty DJ mitts will set the
turntables spinning, the beats
flourishing and the people crying for
more. The crowd will be transformed
into a creaking sea of robotic
animation, everyone busting their
well oiled moves.
The last few pennies from your
overdraft are demanding to be spent.
£8 for the night sounds steep. Not
really, that’s only three pennies per
minute of funkilicious Joe time.
The downside to Joe’s DJ set is
that you’re going to go cold turkey
come 4am and possibly spend the
rest of your life in Hotchip Rehab
demanding your daily fix of funky
robot tunes.
Now if you excuse me I’m going to
go and practice my retro Robot moves
so I’m ready for the floor.
Jake Aiken Winter
Calling
All
Oestrogen!
An Evening of Girly Indulgence at
Tiger Tiger this Thursday, 19th.
Northumbria Beats the Festival
18th
Season - it’s In-Fest 2009 Wednesday,
@ Northumbria
Can’t wait until Glastonbury or
Leeds to get your wellies out? Well
look no further than on your very
own festival doorstep this week.
Students from both Newcastle
and Northumbria Universities
have got together to bring you
delicious cake stalls, giant games,
an authentic vintage fair, and the
finest in local bands and artists,
way before the summer music
season kicks off.
In-fest, the Toon’s biggest and
best indoor community festival
will take place on Wednesday
18th March from 7pm, at Venue
(upstairs in Northumbria’s Union),
with all proceeds made going to
the MS Society.
Working in association with
RAG, and NSCA there’ll be a fully
stocked bar, DJ’s till late, plus
bands including jazzy rockers
‘Vegas Baby’, indie boys ‘Kids of
87’ and various acoustic acts.
There’ll also be a charity raffle
with fantastic prizes, from Mops
haircuts to Empire Cinema tickets.
Funding has been provided by
Junction49, a TimeBank project
that enables young people to
contribute to their communities,
and all in-fest staff are volunteers.
Multiple Sclerosis affects around
85,000 people in the UK, and
is the most common disabling
neurological condition in young
adults.
Organiser
Kathryn
Doherty, a third-year media
student at Newcastle University,
knows just how important it is for
events like in-fest to take place,
after her mum was diagnosed
with the disease 5 years ago:
“Not only is it important to raise
money, but to raise awareness too,
the MS Society do so much for
sufferers and their families and
we are hoping the proceeds will
be concentrated on services in the
local area”.
Tickets cost £3 with an NUS
card and are available from both
university receptions, as well as
online at www.in-fest.co.uk. To
learn more about MS visit www.
mssociety.org.uk, and for more
information on how Junction49
can help support your idea to
make a difference see www.
junction49.co.uk.
Kaitlin Sullivan
Clichéd as it may sound, us
girls really do need a bit of selfindulgence from time to time.
To this end, the suitably glam
TigerTiger is playing host to
the student-run Evening of
Indulgence, which promises to be
a “girls-night in, but out” – think
pampering, shopping and most
i m p o r t a n t l y freebies!
W i t h
goodie
b a g s
on the
door
and
a welcoming free drinks reception,
Indulgence promises to be just the
trick after the long-haul in uni or
even starting on a girly night out.
There are fantastic opportunities
to check out hot new beauty and
fashion products from the big
brands right through to local
retailers.
The ever popular Virgin Vie
and
Jesmond
shop-du-jour
LeBeado are just a couple of the
many concessions that feature, as
well expert advice from
professional stylists New
ID.
If you fancy being
pampered all the
way, you can
even get a free
massage from
the Relaxanation
masseurs!
As well as a raffle
(with prizes including
gift vouchers, cinema
tickets and champagne),
you can be safe in the
knowledge that a substantial
cut of the profits will be
donated to the Breast Cancer
campaign.
Dressed up or down, make sure
you don’t miss it; it’s sure to be
decadent.
Stephanie Ferrao
C
M
Y
K
25
pulp.ents@ncl.ac.uk
CULTURE
16th March 2009
reviews & comment
Next Stop: Inebriation. It could only be Metroline
Our own Medic reporter tells of last week’s public transport related venture...
Crappy hours and workload aside
– I love being a medic; especially
on that magic Wednesday in
March when we don scrubs and
board the metro to the coast and
back again, stopping along the
way for a few beverages (all in the
name of charity of course).
Metroline – over the past year
this phrase has constantly been
linked with way too many jokes
to mention and the anticipation
has been building for me like a kid
before Christmas.
Last year I was a wideeyed
fresher
who went on
Metroline like
a lamb to the
slaughter,
learning some
serious
lessons along the way.
Lesson 1: Don’t think it’s
revolutionary to say it is wise to
start slowly; ease yourself into the
drunken stupor.
Do not start on shots or you will
end up in bed before six after being
escorted home by your girlfriend
in nothing but your left shoe and
you will regret it.
Lesson 2: Invest in novelty props
such as an oversized syringe. Yes,
you will feel like a bit of a wanker
getting on the metro, sober, in the
middle of the day with a massive
joke prop tucked under your arm
and yes you will unsuccessfully
attempt to hide it by wrapping
it up in your cardigan.
However the drunker you
get the more you realise what
a genius idea it was to buy said
syringe as will every other scrubdressed drunk
person
and
you’ll
immediately
make loads of new
friends!
Lesson 3: It is not a good
idea to decide to cash in on a
mandatory ‘crazy’ Metroline
haircut. You’ll miss your hair
when it’s no longer there in the
morning.
Lesson 4: Fish and chips at
Cullercoats are definitely a good
Hello Sailor!
Homosexuality and the Sea @ The Discovery Museum
idea, ordering a small dolphin
sized portion is not. Especially
when you wash it down with half
a bottle of vodka in Tynemouth.
You will have to tactically chunder
in Four Lanes End, much to the
amusement of your friends.
Lesson 5: Buy a pair of proper
scrubs. Do not be lured in to
purchasing
either:
surgeon’s
scrubs as you will end up
looking like an escaped
mental patient (Lydia),
or, worse: some
dodgy paper ones
because without
a doubt they
will
rip
in
the
wrong
place
leaving
your thong
on show or more
horrifyingly,
you’ll
end up outside Bar 42 in your
pants.
Lesson 6: At all costs avoid the
permanent marker. It’s all well and
good people playfully attacking
your face with a pen but waking
up in the morning to find you
have eyebrows like the Grouch
from Sesame Street will not help
your hangover.
It’s free, it’s warm and there is
an exhibition about gay sailors –
seriously what more could you ask
for?
If you liked the Life Centre then
you should definitely take a trip to
Newcastle’s Discovery Museum.
It’s bursting with information about
life in Newcastle and Tyneside,
from maritime history and science
discoveries to fashion through the
ages and if you feel like releasing
your childish side, there are loads
of interactive activities and games to
‘learn from’.
One of the best things you will
find at the museum is the huge ship
which towers above the entrance.
Invented in Tyneside, the ‘Turbinia’
was once the fastest ship in the world
and was the first to be powered by a
steam turbine. If this isn’t enough to
get you queuing, the ‘Hello Sailor’
exhibition certainly will.
‘Hello Sailor’ is an exhibition about
gay life in the Merchant Navy. It
delves into the lives of gay men on
the open seas between the 1950s
and the 1980s, revealing the hidden
history of crew life in those days.
Photographs,
memories
and
personal stories recreate the
turbulent yet camp times these
sailors faced, as homosexuality was
illegal until 1967, on board was one
of the few places these sailors could
be themselves.
So if you fancy a bit of camp naval
fun or you just like those uniforms,
the museum is open Monday to
Saturday from 10am - 5pm and
Sunday from 2pm - 5pm. Admission
is free and the museum is within
walking distance so you shouldn’t
have to spend a penny.
But if you’ve managed to save some
loan, (ha!) there is a cafe serving hot
and cold food and a gift shop in case
you want to take a piece of sailor
action home.
Aimee Philipson
Ultimately,
much as Metroline is about
alcohol, way more fun is had by
taking it slightly easy. After all, we
don’t know how to cure cirrocis of
the liver yet...
Maeve Lynch
Gorgeous Food
at La Gabbia
The first thing to be said about
this lovely restaurant is that it is
not an easy find, but once found,
well worth the hunt.
After twenty minutes circling
the streets of Byker, stopping
off in a take away for directions
and gaining nothing but the
smell of deep fried fat we finally
got lucky by asking a kind local
who immediately recognised La
Gabbia as a local gem.
The last words of directions
were something along the lines
of “You’ll turn down a road that
seems completely wrong, dingy,
narrow and dodgy but a minute
later it’ll be on your left!”
But don’t let this put you off
in the slightest as once inside,
the stressful journey and fear of
leaving the car unattended in
that “dingy, narrow and dodgy
street” were soon forgotten.
On entering La Gabbia we were
greeted warmly by our native
Italian waiter.
The authentic atmosphere
and modern chic style almost
convinced us that we were dining
along the Amalfi Coast.
The Italian music playing in the
background and the odd Italian
exchange resonating from the
open plan kitchen in the corner
confirmed that Mediterranean
mood.
Before we even had a chance to
browse the menu we were swiftly
presented with a plate of tasty
tomato and garlic bruschetta
served with a sun-blushed
tomato garnish salad.
Soon after, once again with no
prompting, a basket of freshly
prepared focaccia bread found
its way on to our table.
Already feeling mildly full we
placed our orders and within
what seemed like minutes our
pizza and risotto had arrived.
The first thing that struck us
was how generous the portions
were - sharing just the one pizza
would undoubtedly have been
enough!
All
ingredients
were
unquestionably fresh and as a
result we enjoyed two extremely
tasty meals which unfortunately
we couldn’t quite finish.
However we weren’t made to
feel guilty of our poor efforts for
too long as the our very efficient
waiter set about packing them up
for us to take back and snack on
later.
By this time we could barely
move from our seats but we were
quickly persuaded by the offer of
a freshly prepared crème caramel
- a delicious end to a flawless
meal.
If all this isn’t enough for all
you Italian food lovers - the price
list is also to die for.
With the offer of a starter and
main all for just £6.95 you really
cannot go wrong.
One thing we didn’t realise until
the end was that La Gabbia also
adopts a very welcome “bring
your own booze policy” - yet
another tick on that check list!
All in all a very pleasant
evening and a restaurant that we
recommend to all - a hidden and
for most, undiscovered, gem of
Newcastle!
Danya Bazaraa and Caroline Bass
CULTURE
pulp.film@ncl.ac.uk
26
16th March 2009
More tragic news, guys. This is the last issue of the term. But do not despair, film fans, for before they pry my weeping body from this humble position, we have
two more fabulous issues of film to soothe and calm you before exam time. And what a lovely issue we have here this week.
Now, anyone who’s known me for more than 10 minutes can confirm that I am one of the biggest dreamers in the world. I live for escapism and far off
imaginary scenarios, often stolen from Hollywood (though part of me still believes I might someday be seduced by John McAcvoy in a library). Anyway, before
I get carried away with that little fantasy, I want to take you back to the nineties, when I was a mere beansprout of a kid.
Taking vague note from Pete’s article below about Disney Pixar, I felt inclined to reminisce about my first loves - Eric, Aladdin and The Beast (in beast form
obviously, since his human version is frankly awful). What beautiful, epic romances befell Ariel and her posse of princesses. Perhaps more embarrassing than
the revelation about the Beast is that the first person I ever really fancied (at the ripe old age of 6) was David Bowie’s Goblin King from Labrynth. Talk about
an androgynous, Freudian nightmare. That little fact aside, part of me still resents Disney and co for letting me believe in love without complication. Since my
first heartbreak (this was obviously when I realised David Bowie would never reciprocate my love), I seem destined to live in a house full of cats and romantic
comedies, skewed by the bitterness that Disney instilled. Gutted. Anywho, squishy marshmallow love to you all.
Ashley x
An Animated Defence
Pete Duggan examines the fine art of animation in cinema...
There are many things about the
world of cinema that can drive a
self-proclaimed film geek insane;
the fact that Orlando Bloom
continues to get work is one, the
endless cycle of horrible horror
remakes is another.
One peculiar one of mine is
the nonsensical decision to
leave Jonathon Ross in charge
of the BBC’s premier
film
review
programme for
so goddamn
l o n g ;
however this
week I have a
new problem
atop my very
long and
overly
picky
l i s t
and it
relates to the Oscars.
Now, anyone who knows me
well enough will know I follow
the awards season with a mystical
fascination- even now I am looking
out for films which could be
collecting golden statuettes next
year - however, the thing currently
getting my back up is the lack of
nominations for animated films in
Best Picture category.
Now before anyone
laughs me off with ‘but
they’re for kids’ or ‘well
there’s no acting in
them’ or any other such
common
argument,
let’s examine
the evidence,
shall we. Only
once
in
the
history of the
Oscars has an
animated film
ever
been
nominated
for the biggest
film prize of
all; that was the
1991 film Beauty
and the Beast.
Now, that film lost to Silence
of the Lambs, a decision I will
Dead Man’s Shoes
(1994)
Director: Shane
Meadows
Starring: Paddy
Considine, Gary
Stretch, Toby Kebbell
Before This Is
England, Shane
Meadows was a
well-respected
but
fairly
nondescript
d i r e c t o r .
Choosing
to
base all his
films in the
Midlands,
he doesn’t
rely on
accept as being fair and above
board but lets look at some more
recent history. Aladdin, released
in 1993, no nomination, Howard’s
End (?) nominated instead. The
Lion King, released in 1994, no
nomination, The Remains of the Day
nominated instead (?). Toy Story
released in 1995, no nomination,
Babe nominated instead. Toy
Story 2 released in 2000, no
nomination, Cider House Rules
nominated instead. Finding Nemo
released in 2004, no nomination,
Seabiscuit nominated instead and
finally Wall-E released 2008, no
nomination, The Reader nominated
instead.
Now, I know that all of those
examples are subjective and many
could turn around and argue
the films I listed are much more
worthy nominees; equally the
fact that from 2001 there has been
a Best Animated Film category
could be said to offset many of my
complaints, but in my opinion it
does not.
You see, the animated category at
the Oscars has, since its instigation,
been a way for the Academy to
bottle decisions it found difficult,
- similar to the Best Foreign Pic
award - if a film comes along that
truly breaks down barriers as Toy
Story did nearly 15 years ago and
as Wall-E did this year, then the
academy have an easy get out
clause.
Pixar, the primary victim of most
of these injustices, has been a true
revolutionary in the world of film
now for some time. Regardless
of the whole Disney/Pixar
struggle (which quite frankly I
find a tad boring), some of the
films listed above
a r e
truly amazing and
technologically
ground breaking
films.
The advances
made
by
D i s n e y
relating to
animation
in
the
80’s were
pushed onto
a whole new
level,
with
the
stunning
visual effects first brought to
the big screen by Toy Story in
95. Since then they have turned
out consistently stunning films
with grand narratives, in-depth
characterization and amazingly
original plots.
This certain discussion has
always wound me up; Toy Story
1 and 2 for example are to me
the animated equivalent of the
first two Godfather films (the
debate about whether 1 or 2 is
the prevalent film being spookily
similar), and should have been
rewarded as such.
It’s interesting to note that
in 1995 the academy actually
rewarded Toy Story with a special
achievement
in
film-making
award- well, if it was that special,
why couldn’t they have made
Hollywood appeal to make a good
film, but sheer grit and truthful
storytelling.
Dead Man’s Shoes was his fourth
film, and given its billing as a
thriller, it might have confused
some people at the time, with its
slow pace and concentration on
storyline to push it along.
The plot revolves around Richard
“...this is no
brainless guntoting thriller”
(Paddy Considine), a paratrooper
who returns to his home town to
exact revenge on a group of smalltime drug dealers who tormented
and humiliated his mentally
handicapped brother, Anthony
(Toby Kebbell). Interspersed
with flashbacks of Anthony’s
ordeals, he slowly but surely
evens the score with each
member of the gang.
It’s fairly clear from the outset
that this is no brainless, guntoting thriller, and Meadows has
made sure that this is a film that
never quite gives its hand away
before you want it to.
The characters are well
thought out- no mean feat
considering a good deal of
the cast are non-professionals
and fist-time film actorswith
Gary
Stretch’s
Sonny playing the brutal
leader of the gang, and
Toby Kebbell’s sincere
and
heartrending
Anthony.
But it’s Considine’s terrifying
performance as the obsessive
Richard that really is the
centrepiece. His slow movements
and ominous tone of voice add up
to create a character you not only
sympathise for, but are really
quite scared of (I don’t think I’ll
ever see gas masks again in the
same way).
The film’s measured pace and
slow-burning buildup create a
tension that’s not often achieved
in films, completely drawing
you in before shocking you
with a brilliant climax, so if
you’re looking for something to
completely engross and shock
you, you can’t really go wrong
with this.
Joe Skrebels
In 2006, the remarkable This is
England hit cinemas and astounded
film goers and critics around
the globe. The movie is a gem as
a whole, but it is undoubtedly
newcomer Thomas Turgoose’s
turn as the young misfit Shaun
which makes Shane Meadows’
film so unforgettable.
Now 17, Thomas Turgoose was
only 13 when he won the lead in
Meadows’ film. The film itself
examines, with unflinching focus,
racism in the midlands during the
1980s, and whilst the hard-hitting
climax makes for some difficult
watching, Turgoose’s performance
is truly breathtaking.
Meadows revealed that it was
the youngster’s candid yet raw
portrayal of Shaun that won
him the role, saying; ‘Tommo
did something that none of
the other kids did - he
was honest’.
It is refreshing to
see that the young
actor’s
frank
outlook has not
been tarnished by
success - he won
‘Most
Promising
Newcomer’ at the
British Independent
Film Awards – and
a truly honest representation of
its achievement and put it up for
Best Pic? However, the real reason
behind my current outburst is the
result of the Academy failing to
reward Wall-E as it should have.
Wall-E should have won
best
picture, no
question
about it.
Yes, it did
win
the
b o o b y
p r i z e
of
Best
Animated
Film, and yes, a handful of
technical awards, but that was
simply an injustice of truly epic
proportions.
It packs twice the emotional
punch Slumdog does; it might
not be quite so technologically
revolutionary as Benjamin Button
but it’s not far off, and it’s much
more successful in its narrative
than The Dark Knight. Wall-E
demonstrates a subtlety and
intelligence that few ‘adult’ films
ever hope to achieve and I will
argue that with anyone.
What does the future hold? Well
not very far off, Toy Story 3 looms,
and hopefully AMPAS will right
the wrongs of its recent past.
Whether they will or not remains
to be seen - but they had their best
opportunity to do it this year and
I fear it may be some time, if ever
before they realise the error of
their ways.
he admits that he wasn’t initially
interested in the role, and only
went for an interview when he
heard there could ‘be some money
in it’.
Part of Turgoose’s emotionally
charged performance might be
attributed his mother having being
terminally ill during the shoot –
tragically, she died before editing
had finished. This devastating loss
must have affected the talented
teenager, yet he returned to school
with renewed determination and
gained 8 GCSEs before accepting
several new roles.
First up, Turgoose took a lead
role in a new television drama The
Innocence Project before reuniting
with Meadows on his new film
Somers Town, playing a runaway
from Nottingham trying to make
it in London.
He followed this with a part in
James Watkins’ harrowing Eden
Lake, starring alongside Kelly Reilly
and Michael Fassbender,
and is soon to appear
in The Scouting Book
for Boys. Whilst you
might be forgiven
for having missed
his last few cinematic
outings, it would be
a great mistake to
write Turgoose off as
a one-hit-wonder; he
might not be in every
romcom around, but
good things come to
those who wait, and
great things await
‘Tommo’.
Katy Covell
C
M
Y
K
27
pulp.film@ncl.ac.uk
CULTURE
16th March 2009
Watchmen
Director: Zack Snyder
Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Malin
Akerman, Patrick Wilson
Watchmen has always been
infamous for being tagged as
‘unfilmable’ - but after twenty
years of failed attempts, the epic
story finally reaches the silver
screen and it has been worth the
wait.
At its heart, Watchmen is a
detective story set in an alternate
history, where President Nixon
remains in power and masked
vigilantes roam the streets to
maintain order and uphold
justice. The film begins with the
murder of Edward Blake - better
known as ‘The Comedian’ and
then subsequently follows one of
his former comrade’s attempts to
piece together the truth behind his
death. However, this inevitably
leads to larger and more sinister
themes.
The Young
Victoria
Director: Jean-Marc Vallee
Starring: Emily Blunt, Rupert
Friend, Paul Bettany, Miranda
Richardson
Period dramas - I bloody love them
and due to this incessant love I find
them either incredibly satisfying
or crushingly disappointing.
Usually, television provides the
most accomplished period pieces
whereas the cinematic realm has
recently produced the lacklustre
efforts The Other Boleyn Girl and
Becoming Jane. So, with my little
heart filled with hope and anxiety,
I skipped to the cinema to see
The Young Victoria, and was not
disappointed with cinema-land’s
Marley
& Me
Director: David Frankel
Starring: Owen Wilson, Jennifer
Aniston, Eric Dane, 22 different
Golden Retrievers.
Not all popular novels make great
films: and this overly sentimental
offering, based on the memoirs of
real-life journalist John Grogan, is
a fine example of why.
Directed by the man behind The
Devil Wears Prada (2006), Owen
Wilson stars as John, bored at
his job on a Florida newspaper,
and keen to prevent wife Jen
(Aniston) from wanting to start
a family. Co-worker Sebastian
(X-Men’s Eric Dane) suggests a
pet, and their lives with Marley,
or ‘the world’s worst dog’ as he is
Surveillance
Director: Jennifer Lynch
Starring: Julia Ormond, Bill
Pullman, Pell James and Ryan
Simpkins.
Surveillance is a sci-fi-fuelled
thriller, which takes place in the
Santa Fe desert, which is the site of
a number of gruesome murders.
The film starts with all three
surviving witnesses giving their
account of what happened, and the
story unfolds as their statements
are revealed.
Stephanie (Simpkins, who also
plays Kate Winslet’s daughter in
Revolutionary Road) and her family
So after all the hype and worry
among fans, we can happily
report Zack Snyder’s final product
is everything that you could hope
for. Like Sin City, the film stays
faithful to the comic, yet not to the
extent that it isolates viewers who
are experiencing the story for the
first time.
Several of the sequences have
been perfectly realised- the origin
of the film’s only ‘super’ hero, the
godlike Dr. Manhattan among
the best of them, as well as the
iconic imagery that the comic is
known for e.g. a romantic kiss to
a backdrop of a nuclear explosion.
Visually the film is stunning, with
the cinematography ironing out
any of the flaws in the special
effects, as well as being equipped
with a killer soundtrack.
With characters so multilayered, the cast pull off their roles
successfully. The most effective
and important of which is Jackie
Earle Haley’s performance as
the story’s narrator and central
character, the exceptionally violent
vigilante Rorschach.
tale of the enigmatic monarch!
The plot follows the year before
Victoria (Blunt) ascends to the
throne and her blossoming
romance with Albert (Friend).
Along the way, Victoria must
assert her own power and
authority against the powerful
men surrounding her- her uncles
King William (Broadbent) and
King Leopold of Belgium, and
power-hungry
politician
Sir
John Conroy (Strong). The film
examines Victoria’s relationships
with her mother (Richardson),
Albert, Lord Melbourne (Bettany)
and her public.
The Young Victoria’s merits rely
upon its perfectly maintained
balance. The plot is beautifully
poised between the politics of
the period and the romance.
The film’s mood is also deftly
balanced between seriousness
and tongue-in-cheek humour. A
reviews
However, the true praise of
the film belongs to Zack Snyder.
While the film may miss out on
some of the deeper elements of
the story and slightly deviates the
‘method’ of the conclusion, it is a
slick and entertaining adaptation
fulfilling the high expectations
and obstacles that have plagued it
from reaching our screens sooner.
However, it is not likely to be to
everyone’s taste; with a narrative
that features gratuitous violence,
sex, mass killing and rape, you
can be assured it’s not this year’s
Iron Man or Dark Knight. Still, it is
an epic piece of entertainment enjoyed even more if you’ve read
the graphic novel first.
James Fairfield
strong and well chosen cast all
perform impeccably to render
humanity to their characters.
Blunt is exceptional and relatable,
dissolving the severe stereotype
to reveal Victoria as vibrant and
human.
Friend, as well as cutting a fine
figure in his plaid trousers, puts
in a sensitive performance, and
would melt any woman’s heart
as the romantic Albert.
The
portrayals thankfully do not
stray into caricature and even the
darker characters such as Conroy
and Melbourne are not portrayed
as inhuman villains.
The film delivers upon the
conventions
of
the
period
drama. The entire film is, in a
word, lavish. The costumes are
beautiful, the locations glorious,
the accompanying score lush and
there are the obligatory sumptuous
ball sequences. But for me, the
dubbed, begin.
To say it chronicles thirteen years
of escapades with the mischievous
mutt wouldn’t be fair; however,
the screenplay, written by Scott
Frank (Minority Report), and Don
Roos, gives us a fairly bland story,
with occasional empty scenes only
saved by a good soundtrack.
When Marley gets past cute
Andrex pup stage, he fails
obedience school, and chews
up a few couches, but all in all
just acts like, well, a dog. John’s
writing gets better though, as he
is granted his own column (the
running theme being Marley’s
‘adventures’ would you believe),
and man and wife get closer, in
all fairness through a not-so-bad
performance from Aniston and
Wilson.
It is clearly a family film centred
around man’s best friend, but
for viewers who can’t take the
canine seriously, any darker
moments (e.g. the Grogans losing
their first baby) feel awkwardly
inappropriate amongst what is
hailed a feel-good comedy.
Personally, the only true laugh
came from Wilson’s one to one
scene with a sick-stricken Marley,
as while his outpourings of
affection are not intentionally
comedic, they do provide an
ironic laugh.
Your heart-strings may just be
pulled by the ending, or like me,
you’ll be in a major state of cringe.
Dog and cheese fans only.
are going on vacation across
country on a vacation; along
their travels she spots a vehicle
abandoned along with a white van
and sees blood; she tries to tell her
parents but they fail to hear her.
As they continue on their journey,
they suffer a flat tyre and this is
when they have an almost close
encounter with Bobbi (James) and
her boyfriend (Miller).
The two are around to offer a
hand and help the family, and this
is when two local police officers
come and shake things up a little.
Unbeknown to them, two
murderers are not far behind and
the rest is history.
Whilst the interviews are taking
place, the FBI come and take charge
of the situation, and try and figure
out what has been happening in
the town and they try to figure out
who the murderers are.
In this film, nothing is as simple
as it might seem.
I am not normally one for slating
films, but I do think that this film
was a total joke.
I wasn’t even a good thriller
and left much to be desired. Not
only that, but I thought that the
storyline was slightly warped,
and unthought about.
Whilst watching the film, at least
6 people walked out because they
thought it was awful.
I
personally
wouldn’t
recommend it unless you want to
see something for a laugh, or that
crown jewel (ah punnage!) of the
film is the excellent treatment of
the romance between Victoria
and Albert.
The core of the
relationship is never old-fashioned
but is tender, intimate, human and
above all completely believable.
This is a fantastic addition to
the period drama genre, albeit
not quite the pomp and grit of
Elizabeth, and with some questions
regarding historical accuracy. The
Young Victoria isn’t everyone’s
cup of tea, but for pure enjoyment
this is a lovely, romantic film and
when it came to an end I was left
wanting more!
Becca Hodgson
Kaitlin Sullivan
is a joke.
I am aware thrillers are supposed
to be gripping and though there
may be some moral pointers
raised, this film is no Manchurian
Candidate at all.
Christina Renner
28
16th March 2009
CULTURE
pulp.music@ncl.ac.uk
Heath: Wow. This is our penultimate penultimate issue, at least I think that’s right. Anyway, it’s
our last issue before the Easter hols, so have a good one! Those of you that are depriving yourself of
yummy things for lent, good luck. And enjoy having four weeks of freedom, see lots of bands (and
review them for me!) and come back refreshed for the summer term. Dave’s not here today, but I guess
it’s only fair after I buggered off to Berlin last term leaving him on his lonesome. However, without
his distracting company (wuv woo) I’ve actually layed up in record time...See you in four weeks!
Peace. Heath and Dave(pulp.music@ncl.ac.uk) xx
interview
BOSS
Christian Allen caught up with everyone’s favourite pop scenester Esser
at Newcastle’s Metro Radio Arena supporting The Kaiser Chiefs. They talk
about his top bands, influences and how much he’d like to support Blur...
Christian:
How are you
finding the jump from the venues
you’re used to playing to these
arena dates you’re playing on the
current tour?
Esser:
We’ve never played
to so many people before, the
first couple of shows were nerve
racking but now I think we’ve
really learnt to adapt to the huge
venues, and have been able to put
our sound across well.
“ When I
writing I
started
wasn’t
thinking
about
how to fit in I just
wanted to write pop
music...
...
the debut album recorded and
mastered, when can we expect it
to be released?
album but also want to keep
things moving and show people
what I can do.
Esser:
Christian:
It’s called ‘brave face’
and is due to be released in May.
It’s weird because it’s been sitting
there for awhile
so we’ve been
keeping busy
working on a
new E.P and
writing and
doing some
production
with other
people.
I’m
really
pleased with
t h e
“...what
I
really
like
Fryars
and
Micachu
are doing at the
moment...
have been touted for 2009 have
a heavy 80s, synth sound…
where do you think you fit in?
Esser:
When I started
writing I wasn’t thinking
about how to fit in I just
wanted to write pop
music. It just seems at
the moment there are
more artists who are
proud to be writing pop
tunes, which wasn’t the
case a few years ago.
Christian:
Who
would you cite as your
main influences?
Christian:
Who do
you suggest people
listen to, other than
yourself?
Esser:
Someone
I’ve mentioned a lot
recently is Joe Meek
( 50s and 60s music
producer)
who’s
really
influenced
me in terms of what
he was doing with
sounds. Some of my
main
inspirations
are those people who
are innovative in
different ways.
Christian:
Many artists who
Esser: I really like what
Fryars and Micachu are
doing at the moment.
There’s another guy
called Danimal Kingdom
who’s coming on our
headline
tour,
he’s
definitely worth a listen.
They’re all acts who
haven’t been hugely
With
hyped but are doing interesting
and important things.
Christian:
It’s important to
see that there are exciting bands
outside of top 10 ‘ones to watch
out for’ lists.
Esser: This is it; you think surely
not all these bands can be huge.
People just get excited about
something being new, regardless
of whether it’s good or terrible. It
takes 3 albums for a band to really
produce their best material; it’s
not always good when everything
is so rushed.
Christian: Are there any
bands you aspire to tour with in
the future?
Esser: I’d love to support blur!
Christian: Complete this
sentence ‘students in Newcastle
should be involved in music
because…’
Esser: Its fun, I think too many
people are in bands because they
want to be famous and be the
biggest band in the world. They
forget to enjoy themselves along
the way.
Pip:
This week, the boys
chat celebrity tiffs...
Alex:
Today I came across an
article entitled ‘Miley Cyrus vs.
Radiohead’ on Yahoo! Music
news. After googling who the
heck Miley Cyrus was, and
finding out she was some wiener
US pop singer, I was expecting
an article describing a comedy
mash-up of the two ‘giants’
of music. Instead, I found an
article describing how Cyrus
was snubbed at a recent awards
So Miley Cyrus hates
Radiohead? Yawn. I bet they’re
crying themselves to sleep every
night...not. But this has got me
thinking about music’s other
famous spats, particularly that
of Blur and Oasis – the premier
barney of the entire Britpop
era. Having read Alex James’
autobiography ‘Bit of a Blur’
over the Christmas holidays –
and let me tell you, ladies and
gentlemen, that Alex is a massive
lad (not true, I’m afraid, for
everyone called Alex, te he...) and
makes light of the whole fiasco
– it is apparent that such petty
arguments are simply blown out
Their new album
‘Quicken the Heart’
is released in May.
Jeffrey Lewis’s
new album
He’s doing his thing
with The Junkyard
Drummer leaves
Razorlight
Here’s hoping the
whole band will split...
Yo! Majesty play
The Cluny
It’s going to be one hell
of a party me thinks.
Coldplay not
partying
Chris Martin left his
own birthday party
before his Dad!
Ashley Cole
arrested
And whilst Cheryl
is slogging it up
Mount Kilimanjaro.
Bonnie ‘Prince’
Billy’s new album
Christian: When can people
next see you in Newcastle?
It isn’t quite up
to scratch.
Esser:
Essays to do when
the sun is out
I’m playing Evolution
Festival on the 25th of May, looks
like a good line up.
See you there!
Only serves as a
reminder that this
is what summer
exams are like.
GASH
Vocals with Pip and Alex
ceremony by Yorke et al. and so
is going to ‘ruin’ them in revenge.
Something inside tells me that
Thom isn’t exactly quaking in
his converse. ‘Oh no! I’ll never
be able to make my seminal
album! Oh wait, I’ve made half a
dozen already…’. Who can take
Cyrus seriously? She looks like
an advert for The Lip Gloss and
Lobotomy Company.
Maximo Park
are back
of all proportion by the media,
who use them to sell more copies
of the Sun or the Mirror or Heat
or whatever tabloid abortion
people are reading nowadays.
Who actually cares if Miley Cyrus
hates Radiohead or not? It’s not
going to affect the dynamics
of my day-to-day life, and it’s
certainly not going to affect any
of the horrible things that happen
in the world on a daily basis.
Do people really think that the
leaders of Israel and Palestine
are suddenly going to lay down
their arms and start reasonable
and friendly negations - basically
stopping the entire Middle East
conflict – simply because Miley
Cyrus’s pampered and over
the top reaction – classic teen
Hollywood, basically – has put
everything into perspective all of
a sudden? Methinks not...
Alex:
Thanks for elaborating
slightly upon, but basically
repeating my point there Pip.
Great to have you onboard.
Speaking of conflict though,
Pip and I had an altercation the
other night: he wanted to go
to the pub straight away, but
I wanted to have some pasta
first. Pistols at dawn. I phoned
up Alex James, but the retired
Blur lad was too busy wearing
multi-tweed and making posh
nosh organic cheese (rock ‘n’
roll to the core). I then tried Mr
Yorke on his private line - I saw
Radiohead in Dublin 2 years ago
and we just hit it off, you know?
- but he was buried under a pile
of Kleenex. From crying, not the
other thing. So we had to use our
own resources: unable to ever
resolve our differences, I sold my
story to Hello, and he sold his to
OK. Take that for drama Miley!
Alex Bowell
&
Philip Copley
Student
Poll
This week, we asked
100 of you:
‘Will you buy Maximo
Park’s New Album?’
Yes
35%
C
No
65%
M
Y
K
CULTURE
16th March 2009
29
pulp.music@ncl.ac.uk
previews
Yo! Majesty
The Boy Least The Rumble
Strips
Likely To
March 16th @ The Cluny
March 17th @ The Cluny
£7.50
On Tuesday 17th something a
bit different from the usual indie
band is going to be gracing the
stage of The Cluny.
Yo Majesty are a duo of
female rappers.. not sounding
that different so far? Well they
are also openly Christian and
lesbians with a sound which is
best described as a mixture of
hip hop, crunk and electronica.
A bit different, more like a lot
different, but in a very good way.
Originating from Tampa Florida,
and consisting of Shunda K and
Jwl. B, this date is one of many
which make up an extensive
tour around the country.
They started out in 2002
collaborating with London
based HardFeelings UK but
was not until 2006 that they
self released their debut ep ‘YO
EP’, from then on the curiosity
surrounding the group has been
spreading fast.
After a somewhat interesting
performance at 2007’s SXSW
which saw Jwl. B perform topless
for most of the show they signed
to Domino Records and their first
full length album ‘Futuristically
Speaking...Never be Afraid’ was
released in 2008 on which they
worked with Basement Jaxx.
With songs titled Kryptonite
Pussy and Booty Klap, on record
they sound fierce – their live
show is unlikely to disappoint in
this respect. Support comes from
March 19th @ The Cluny
£6.50
Yorkshire’s lovely Napoleon
IIIrd, it’s definitely worth getting
their early to hear his skilful
atmospheric folk -this appears
to be a night of extreme musical
diversity.
Perhaps electro crunk isn’t
your usual thing but isn’t it
always good to try something
new. So head to the Cluny on the
17th and experience something
you might not normally see but
definitely might like.
Polly Randall
£8
Hailing
from
Wendover,
Buckinghamshire The Boy Least
Likely To have embarked on a UK
tour in support of their upcoming
album Law of the Playground.
They will be performing at one
of Newcastle’s finest venues,
the Cluny on the 19th of March
supported by The School.
Pete Hobbs and Jof Owen met up
in school and began working on
songs as The Boy Least Likely To
in 2002. Hobbs is responsible for
the writing and performing of the
music, while Owen is dedicated to
the lyric side of things; it is just as if
they were one artist split into two.
They are released on Too Young
Too Die. Their debut album The
Best Party Ever, is in the musical
style of Band Of Horses, with
light hearted, fun lyrics. Very well
embodied in the song ‘Be Gentle
With Me’, by the lyrics “I’m happy
because I’m stupid. /Scared of
spiders, scared of flying.”
In 2006 they went on tour with
Razorlight., and were acclaimed
one of the top 10 bands of the year
by Rollingstone. Besides that, the
fashion guru Karl Lagerfeld is a
fan.
Be sure not to miss it, after all
£6.50 is a small price to pay when
it comes to seeing an amazing
band.
Rumble strips: a series of raised
bumps usually placed towards
the sides of major roads, in order
to wake up the occasional tired,
swerving driver.
The Rumble Strips: London
based
plippy-ploppy-hippyhappy sing-alongy indie pop
band designed to make the
listener dance and smile, paying
at the Cluny next Monday.
If you like The Coral, The
Kooks, The Beach Boys and
sunshine then you’ll probably
have a decent time; their music
is an entirely up-beat, poppy
affair with plenty of shiny brass
to beef it up and set it apart from
the rest of the paint-by-numbers
pop which adorns the cover of
the NME very week.
Another plus about this gig is
the location; the Cluny has to
be one of the plushest pubs in
Newcastle and makes any gig
experience 100% better with its
lush selection of drinks and its
generous dancing space.
I’m not a great fan of this sort of
thing, but even I would struggle
not to have a dance to this band;
so get yourself along and let The
Rumble Strips keep you up all
night.
Tim Mcvicar
Solveig Werner
Metallica
Twin Atlantic
@ Metro Radio Arena
@ The Academy
Embarking on their first full UK
tour for over a decade, the now
legendary and controversial
Metallica were out in force to
prove they still had what it took
to compete in the 21st century.
After two spectacular headline
performances
at
Reading
and Leeds this summer, the
band brought their ‘World
Magnetic’ tour back to England
in incredible style. Following in
the footsteps of the Foo Fighters
at Wembley, a central circular
stage in the middle of the arena
provided a stroke of genius.
Standing crushed in front of
a microphone stand within
touching distance of Kirk
Hammet as he shredded
through the solo to ‘One’ was
a moment unlike any other
and was possible only with
this unique arena layout. When
a band member was stood in
your section of the arena it
felt as if the show were in the
Academy 2.
A limited range of pyrotechnics
combined with a predictable set
of songs from the new album
mixed with the old ‘hits’ created
a night of classic Metallica with
a twist - fatigue from months of
constant touring was far from
present.
Let’s just hope it’s not another
decade before we see them
return.
There are few things in music quite
like the energy and determination
to succeed of a small upcoming
band.
Despite not filling the 400 capacity
Academy 2, not disheartened in
the slightest, Scottish rockers Twin
Atlantic returned for their own
headline show after supporting
The Subways back in October.
The band opened with a handful
of songs from the upcoming
debut album before breaking into
every song off the impressive
Guidance from Colour E.P. Front
man Sam McTrusty always kept
the incredibly varied crowd
connected, taking time out to talk
to the audience instead of staying
mute – a trap which many live
acts fall in to.
The band showed their musical
diversity, and perplexed some
of the less acquainted fans as
lead guitarist Barry McKenna
alternated between guitar and
cello for the duration of the E.P’s
self titled song.
As the band finished with their
best known song, ‘Audience and
Audio’, Sam promised a swift
return to Newcastle later this year,
and hopefully next time they’ll be
done justice with a larger crowd.
The band also took time
afterwards to talk to fans and
thank them for coming; a rare mix
of modesty and musical talent.
Stuart Edwards
The Killers
reviews
@ Metro Radio Arena
Last Saturday saw the Killers roll
into town, and what a show it
was. In a long overdue visit to our
fair Toon, the Las Vegas foursome
brought their almighty arena
tour ‘Day and Age’ to a sell out
audience.
The show opened with the
suitably dramatic and oddly
addictive hit ‘Human’, an
incomprehensible track which
poses the preposterous question
‘Are we human?. Or
are we dancer?’
Brandon works
the palpably
excited crowd
announcing
‘We
are
here tonight
without the
feathers
or
moustaches, but we are here for
you Newcastle!’ at which a cheer
rose up that hardly halted from
that minute to the last..
The Killers put on a brilliant
show, delivering all the hits from
their last 3 albums. A particularly
rousing moment came when
Flowers, standing on top a sound
monitor lead the audience in that
well known chorus, ‘I’ve got soul,
but I’m not a soldier!’ roaring
their approval and punching the
air in a blaze of exploding lights,
t h e
crowd join
in in
an arena
wide
chant
which seems to go on forever.
It’s hard to describe quite how
good the Killers are live, they
are a peculiar sort of rock group.
Flowers himself cuts a puzzling
dash, as each crescendo built he
leapt jerkily about the stage hardly
able to contain his excitement. Not
only that, but the tracks themselves
make little or no lyrical sense, and
yet here they are selling out arenas
and enthralling fans with their
oddball charm and monster pop
choruses.
Olivia
Mee
30
16th March 2009
CULTURE
pulp.music@ncl.ac.uk
releases
Beware Indeed. A Legend the man may be, having traversed
time and genres like no other, but, as Mark Corcoran-Lettice discusses, even our
greatest heros can sometimes miss the mark completely
Bonnie
‘Prince’ Billy
Beware
17th March, Drag City
Of the thousands upon thousands
of singer/songwriters out there,
only a very few have ever attained
the mythological status that Will
Oldham now possesses. Over
countless albums, singles, and
collaborations under numerous
guises, he’s forged a singular
soundscape where ruminative
folk, lovelorn country and lo-fi
indie constantly intersect and
where the battle between the
dark and light is never ending.
His many records have focused
on different features of his craft:
‘Days In The Wake’ stripped
it down to just him and his
guitar while ‘The Letting Go’
incorporated vast string sections
crafted by Bjork’s producer; his
definitive masterpiece, the stark
existentialist minefield of ‘I See
A Darkness’ was followed by
the laid-back ‘Ease Down The
Road’. Yet somehow, through
all these shifts, it all made
sense and combined to make
a remarkable canon of work.
Maybe that’s why, dedicated
Oldham follower that I am,
‘Beware’ comes as such a
disappointment to me. Nobody
is infallible, and however we
elevate them our heroes can
only ever be fellow mortals.
Yet there’s nothing strikingly
different or strange about this
album, just a vague notion of
failure hanging over much of
it. Let’s focus on what ‘Beware’
does get right first though.
Several tracks, such as the
partially spoken-word “Without
Word, You Have Nothing” and
the haunting “Death Final”
are fine demonstrations of
the man’s art, and lyrically
he’s as on form as ever.
But for the first time in his
career, much of his album
sounds laboured and forced.
The pop-western arrangements
here sound wildly inappropriate
and almost like Oldham’s
strange idea of a joke, especially
when compared to last year’s
stylistically similar but infinitely
breezier and more successful ‘Lie
Down In The Light’. Whether as
an attempt to distance himself
from his low-budget past or
to gain greater commercial
success, ‘Beware’ finds itself
lumbered with overly polished,
under-written songs that most
Nashville connoisseurs would
reject for being too clichéd and
obvious. He’s written hundreds
of brilliant songs in the past, and
hopefully will do in the future,
but for now ‘Beware’ is, by quite
some distance, the weakest
Oldham effort to date, as Bonnie
‘Prince’ Billy or otherwise.
4.7
Singles
Round-Up:
Filthy Dukes
This Rhythm
If you’re in search of industrialised
electro indie, ‘this rhythm’ is
pretty much perfection.
So overwhelmingly danceable,
so ultra slick and so darn cool
that it can only be the work of that
modern type hybrid of producer,
DJ and band. Very good.
Polly Randall
Franz Ferdinand
No You Girls
Jeffrey Lewis & Noisettes
The Junkyard
Wild Young
‘Em Are I
Hearts
Black Lips
Yppah
200 Million
thousand
They Know What
Ghosts Know
20th April, Rough Trade
30th March, Universal
16th March, Vice Records
30th March, Ninja Tune
Anti-folk pioneer and comic
book artist, Jeffrey Lewis has
been strumming and mumbling
his ditties for years now,
quietly winning people over
to his quirky, poignant songs.
But after all these years of
playing support slots, Jeffrey
wants a little more limelight,
and with the Junkyard band,
he’s making a lot more noise.
To say this is a different from his
older material is something of an
understatement. “Slogans” opens
with drums, throaty bass and a
guitar part taken straight from
the Libertines. The saloon-floor
stomp of “Broken Broken Broken
Heart” moves into “The UpsideDown Cross”, which could be a
particularly insane Cake track.
But there are some more
traditional tracks that really
showcase Lewis’ greatest talent,
his lyrics. Whether its the selfdeprecating (“Going bald is the
most manly thing I’ll ever do”)
or the downright weird (“I had
a pig, he really was a sight, when
it was dark, he glowed at night”)
you always want to listen and it’s
this fact that makes this album
so good, because no matter
what the music’s doing, there is
simply no way you don’t want
to hear what he’s saying to you.
Cor’ Shingai Shoniwa is a
bit like Grace Jones in’t she?
Right, that’s the obvious stated,
onwards. I have a lot of time for
The Noisettes’ first full length,
especially the quality quiet/loud
dynamic 101 lesson that is ‘IWE.’
Unfortunately, after the first two
tracks of their second I found
myself missing the fun, spased
out energy of album number
one.
Title track Wild Young Hearts
is a pretty enough indie tune
but doesn’t stay in your noggin
much past listening and ‘Don’t
Upset the Rhythm’ is… well,
you remember The Bravery from
a couple of years back? They had
that song that did quite well?
It’s a bit reminiscent of that. No,
that isn’t a good thing; you get
similarly listless electropop-indie
here. After that though things get
much better and the locomotive
synthpop of Saturday Night is
far more convincing.
Immediately apparent on first
listening is that Shoniwa’s voice
has gotten a little more refined,
something which, for the most
part, isn’t really done justice on
the earlier tracks. However, later,
on shimmering soul number
Never Forget You and the sweetly
bluesy Every Now and Then all
but erase dissapointment.
Black Lips, finest purveyors of
psychedelic ‘flower punk’, are
back again. Their last LP, Good
Bad Not Evil, was easily their
most approachable album. Where
its predecessors were famously
lo-fi and often unintelligible
noise masquerading as some
elite form of punk, GBNE was
aurally cleaner; its melodies
instantly ensnared the listener,
who was grateful for something
flirting with pop elements for
once. New fans thought Black
Lips were making themselves
more available to a larger
audience, old fans worried the
band were ditching their scruffy
individuality to attain higher
sales.
Well, with 200 Million Thousand
they return to more ragged
sounds, with reverb featuring
aplenty. But this time the effect
isn’t an offensive cacophony;
song structures are noticeably
more complicated, atonal guitars
snake in and out of strained
vocals, and many fantastic tracks
emerge. They could have made
something to appeal to everyone
and his grandma, but that’s not
their style. They will always
retain the headache sound of a
teenage garage band, but they
have long lost the associated
naivety.
It’s a beautiful rarity when you
stumble upon a diamond in the
rough. I received this album
with scepticism. For a start, the
name looks like some of my
more precious drunken texts.
The press release claims it is
the ultimate combination of
shoegaze and Hip-Hop, which
sounds like aural torture. And
the front cover looks about as
appetizing as the chip pan dregs
at Munchies.
But you know what they say
about judging a book by its
cover. As soon as the furious
electronics of Son Saves the Rest
kicks in, so did my surprise. It
sounds like a psychedelic Maps,
an instrumental rollercoaster of
swelling samples and walls of
guitar- and it’s gorgeous.
Next track Gumball Machine
Weekend somehow captures
Jazz Lounge without feeling
you’re stuck in a motel lift.
Elsewhere, the title track echoes
globetrotting soundscapes DJ
Shadow used to specialise in.
Yppah have taught me many
things, but one primarily- if I am
to form a band, maybe I should
look through my phone outbox
for inspiration.
8.8
Joe Skrebels
6.3
Matthew Clark
8.2
Alex Bowell
7.2
Gordon Bruce
After the second album’s slight
misstep, this single hails a return
to Franz Ferdinand’s first stated
intention – music girls can dance to.
An endlessly singable, handclapfilled chorus and hooky funk guitar
chords create a song guaranteed to
soundtrack indie discos nationwide,
and with good reason.
Joe Skrebels
Titus Andronicus
My Time Outside The
Womb
For a band that references philosophy,
classical painting, Shakespeare and
Greek myths, this is an unusually
simple song.
All ramshackle pop-rock guitars,
the only thing that distinguishes
this song from any other is Patrick
Stickles’ distorted Conor Oberst
screams. Luckily it’s that addition
that makes this song amazing.
Joe Skrebels
Smoove & Turrell
You Don’t Know
Second single from local
Northern Soul likely lads,
Smoove + Turrell.
My main gripe? The saxophone
riff that plays incessantly
throughout the track really grates
the ear drums, sending shivers
where soul really shouldn’t. The
track just cannot fill me with
fervour; I’m left cold by this one
I’m afraid.
Alex Bowell
C
M
Y
K
31
pulp.music@ncl.ac.uk
CULTURE
16th March 2009
features
No Culture Icons
Music brings you a weekly guide to harmonic happenings. In our seventh installment,
Joe Skrebels discusses the rise of the indie label...
In days of yore, before MySpace,
before Hype Machine, every
band who dreamt of success
needed a label to bankroll
them, and corporate labels like
EMI and Universal controlled
what became popular, what
went on TV and how much
money everyone got for their
troubles. You can laud the
musical achievements of most
of the biggest bands of the past
fifty years but you can more
or less assume that everyone
has become successful off of
the back of a major label deal
that they themselves probably
had little control over when
they signed it. No band could
become successful unless they
had a deal.
These deals were forged mainly
by the Artists & Repertoire
divisions of labels, responsible
for scouting out new talent and
as a result of this power, major
label A&R men were enigmatic,
shadowy figures, whose mere
presence at a gig could cause
nervous bands to miss notes
and effectively end their careers
before they’d even started. Of
course, with such ridiculous
investments of decision-making
in a few people across the world,
there were problems. Probably
the most famous A&R mistake
in history was made by Decca
Records A&R man, Dick Rowe
who told a band’s manager that
he wouldn’t be signing them
because “guitar groups are on
the way out” – The Beatles went
on to sell over a billion records.
It’s easy to see that a major label
monopoly could have, and may
well have, caused the public to
miss out on some of the best
music ever made.
Major labels tended to suck a
band dry and then spit them
out, leaving them penniless
and unable to continue making
music (the great Chuck Berry
is still gigging at 82 because
of the amount of money taken
Getting More
Airtime.
As Easter fast approaches,
we come to the end of another
term at university (they do go
awfully quick don’t they?). NSR
has been hard at work since
New Year to bring you closer
to your Student Radio Station,
from him by his labels) and as
such, major artists tried to open
their own labels to escape, but
most were unsuccessful. In the
UK at least, major labels tended
to control almost every facet of
the music. That is until the ‘70s,
when punk and its DIY ethos
allowed for truly independent
record labels to appear. There
have been several massively
influential indie labels since
this time, but two really
helped forge the reputation of
the indie label as a force to be
reckoned with – Rough Trade
and Beggars Banquet. Rough
Trade was set up by Geoff
Travis as an import record shop
in 1976, and quickly became a
record label of its own, helping
to spawn the success of The
Smiths and a host of post-punk
bands. Beggars Banquet was
set up by Martin Mills, the
owner of a London alternative
record shop that went by the
same name. Spurred on by
punk’s DIY ideals, he helped
to distribute little-known punk
bands’ singles, and went on to
score number ones with Gary
Numan, before branching out
to create a second label 4AD
that, with the signing of Pixies,
helped underground American
acts into the UK market. With
the success, and subsequent
huge respect, gained by these
labels, the UK Indie Chart was
set up, in which only records
that were distributed without
the help of major labels was
eligible, creating a definitive
chart of the best alternative
music at the time.
The Teen Angst
Mixtape
•Maps - Yeah Yeah yeahs
‘My kind’s your kind we’ll stay
the same’. The fact my 15-year
old idol Karen O’s heart was
cruelly broken by the muse of
this is utterly irrelevant. This one
is a standard practice for all lovestricken circumstances, requited or
otherwise.
•Dancing in the Moonlight - Jeff
Buckley
Bearing in mind the personal
deification of Jeffers begins in
most fans at around 14, this cover
already has five teenage points.
The other five come from lyrics
based around parents, curfews,
‘disobeyed another warning, I
should’ve been home by ten’ and
food stains.
Division’s contract in his own
blood. By flying the face of
convention, Factory helped
create some incredible bands
with New Order and Happy
Mondays on their roster. The
importance of the emergence of
these kinds of labels cannot be
overstated, as from this point
onwards artists were given
respect for their art, not just
their money-making capacity,
as well as having a true choice
Essentially, two brave music
lovers changed the face of the
music industry in the space
of a few years, and following
this there have been many
other success stories, where
companies that refused to
follow business rules could
still become successful. Factory
Records and their co-founder,
“Mr. Manchester” himself,
Tony Wilson, let artists keep
the rights to their own material
and reportedly wrote up Joy
as to which label they want to
be signed to. Not only this, but
with more labels came more
chances for amazing new music
to be heard, and the passing
up of a band by one A&R
representative doesn’t mean
it’s the end of their career.
and this will continue long
after the last chocolate egg
has been devoured. For
any frequent visitors
to the Union we are
now playing in the
Global Café from
12-2 each weekday
broadcasting a selection
of our lunchtime shows
to
soundtrack
your
afternoon chit chats. Hopefully
this will lead to more airtime
in other parts of the Union so
all students can hear what the
station has to offer. Also, we
recently tried our best in
helping out RAG
w e e k
And finally, after thirty years, it
seems as though the indies are
not just competing, but starting
to win. The real turning point
was the end of 2007. The most
by DJing at some
of their events and
raffling off a selection
of the lovely prizes we get
to hand out on air. On top of
this we’re still doing all the
self-evident backlash against the
major labels was Radiohead’s
“In Rainbows” stunt, who after
leaving Parlophone allowed
fans to buy their album for
whatever price they deemed
fit.
In 2008, Bloc Party and The
Raconteurs rush-released their
albums, and Nine Inch Nails
and The Charlatans both gave
away their new albums free.
You might say that these bands
are already successful, and have
the money to do these things but
with Radiohead subsequently
signing for XL Recordings, and
Rough Trade and the Beggars
Group celebrating 30 years in
business, the spirit of indie is
alive in even the biggest bands.
The internet is now its own
advertising and selling medium,
and tiny labels can advertise
their bands across the world,
whilst being small enough to
retain their personality. Labels
like Transgressive and Chess
Club are building stellar lineups and their willingness to
give away tracks for free and
rely on their bands pulling
power to make profit is worlds
away from major label slavery.
It seems as though we’ve finally
reached the age of a truly artistcentric music culture, and the
indies are leading the way.
Long may it continue.
regular student radio activities
and have been hard at work
interviewing and reviewing
the latest bands for our new
blogs which you’ll find under
the music section of the website
(check them out!) If you want
to get involved with all this
excitement next term, our
meetings are every Thursday
at 5 in the training room!
•Strange
and
Beautiful
Aqualung.
It turns weird stalking (and before
the days of facebook) into some
kind of honeyed persual tactic.
It also convinved me that the
introverted goth who wore vintage
suits to school was ‘strange and
beautiful’, rather than somebody
with Daddy issues.
•The Ataris - In this Diary
‘Being grown up isn’t half as fun
as growing up’. Ironically it didn’t
seem it whilst I was waiting to
grow boobs and kiss boys, but now
puberty seems distinctly fun and
care-free...
•The Smiths - There is a light that
never goes out
Living in a small rural village I was
constantly waiting for someone
to ‘take me out tonight, because I
want to see people and I want to
see lights’. It also seemed brilliantly
romantically morbid to die next
to that kid in your English class
by going under a ten tonne truck
together.
•Hot Hot Heat - Bandages
It’s so fun! It’s about self-harm!
It’s what we danced around to
drunk on cider at our prom after
ambushing the sound system!
Couldn’t be more 16 if it tried.
Alice Vincent
The Last Word
‘’Don’t worry
now, Don’t worry
‘cause it’s all
under control..”
Christian Allen
- Hot Hot Heat
32
16th March 2009
CULTURE
editor.union@ncl.ac.uk
ALL THIS WEEK’S UNION, UNI & STUDENTLED EVENTS
To use this space to publicise your event, email editor.union@ncl.
ac.uk
MONDAY
TUESDAY
“NOTES FROM
AN EASTERN
GROUND”
Based on the TV
show, with special
guest panelists Prof.
Tony
Spawforth.
Prof. Jemery Boulton,
Dr Jane Webster &
Dr Keith Brewster.
Tickets available from
the History Office
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
Organised in conjunction
with both Newcastle and
Northumbria universities
, the best of local bands
and artists, cake stalls,
vintage stalls, and giant
games. Visist www.infest.co.uk!
DANCE SOCIETY
DANCE SHOW
Following their great
success at the Edinburgh
Dance Off, DanceSoc
present their first ever
show.
Also running
tomorrow night.
QI: CHARITY
NIGHT
FRIDAY
MS SOCIETY INDOOR
COMMUNITY
MUSIC FESTIVAL
Exhibition by Hulya
Bakkal,
inspired
by
‘expeditious,
compatible buildings
rising up around the
city’. Runs until the
20th.
FREE
17:30 - 20:30
Long Gallery, Fine
Art Building
WEDNESDAY THURSDAY
£3 NUS
19:00 onwards
Venue,
Northumbria
Union
£4 Students / £6 Others
19:30 onwards
Royal Grammar School,
Jesmond
£2.50 entry
18:00 onwards
Curtis Auditorium,
Herschel Building
MUSIC/CLUB
‘CHIC’ RETURNS
PINTS & POETRY
Night of student poetry
performance - not to be
missed!
FREE ENTRY
20:00 - 22:30
Trent House pub, Leazes
Lane
End of term party
featuring five different
areas, real sand, real
grass, BBQ, swimwear
and lots of freebies - the
ultimate way to end the
term and look forward
to the summer!
£6
18:00 - 03:00
Union
OTHER
SOCIETY EVENT
TALK/EXHIBITION
Compiled by Caroline Melloy
ACROSS
DOWN
2. ... shaw, Hearsay
band member (7)
5. ... Fools day (5)
6. Hit single for Rihanna (8)
9. Title character in the hit series
Grey’s Anatomy, ... Grey (8)
11. Come ... with me, TV cooking
entertainment show (4)
13. Anagram of TEA(3)
14. The first woman (3)
15. A poem (3)
16. ... Gump, 1994 Oscar winning
movie starring Tom Hanks (7)
18. Eddie Murphy’s
character in Shrek (6)
21. I am ..., 2001 movie
starring Sean Penn (3)
23. Character in Star Wars played
by Billy Dee Williams (5)
25. Christiano ..., Fifa World
Player of the year 2008 (7)
28. ... Christina Barcelona, 2009
movie starring Penelope Cruz (5)
30. Perished, Passed away (4)
32. Country whose
capital in Dublin (7)
33. Not centred or having
no centre (8)
34. Protect yourself (4)
1. Cartoon dog (4)
2. Another word for goo (5)
3. What you call a young
actor in Hollywood (7)
4. Your mother’s sister is your .. (4)
7. Dell Boy’s brother (6)
8. ... Burning, a TV Show based
around fire fighters (7)
10. James ..., England
Rugby player (7)
12. A vegetarian substitute
for meat (4)
17. ... Dahl, author of
The Witches (5)
19. The noise a pig makes (4)
20. Alanis Morissette’s hit single (6)
22. Noah’s ... (3)
24. Command (5)
26. Roman poet of The
Metamorphoses (4)
27. ... Reid, star of Van Wilder (4)
29. Layer ..., Daniel Craig
2004 movie (4)
31. Ancient (3)
35. Act, feat (4)
C
M
Y
K
>>> FOR MORE PUZZLES, TURN TO PAGE 40
33
courier.photos@ncl.ac.uk
CULTURE
16th March 2009
Student Golf Championships at Close House last
Thursday (Alexander Wilson)
Fancy being a photographer for The Courier? Come
along to our meeting in the Training Room at 2.30
every Monday. See you there.
The Dance Society practicing for their performance on Tuesday. Email dance.society@ncl.ac.uk for more info (Alexander Wilson)
Hustings in the Basement (Mindaugas Miskinis)
C
M
Y
K
CAREERS
16th March 2009
35
editor.union@ncl.ac.uk
careers
Graduate Profile: Head of Middle Years Education
MALCOLM NICOLSON
DEGREE:
BSC. (Hons) in Ecological Sciences at University of Edinburgh in 1991, then a PGCE at
Newcastle in 1992, and an MA in
International Education through
University of Bath in 2003.
EMPLOYER:
International Baccalaureate
What was the route you took into
this job?
After my PGCE at Newcastle I
looked for teaching jobs and the first
one I applied for was in Liverpool. I
got it and spent 3 years teaching sci-
ences and biology at A’level. It was
a good introduction to teaching and
encouraged me to look to international education. In 1995 I got a job
teaching at an international school
in Nassau, the Bahamas. I was there
for 4 years and had a great time. At
that point, in my late 20s, I realised
that in order to further my ambitions in education I would need to
change schools and get a Masters. So
I got a job at a leading international
school in Bangkok, Thailand. Whilst
there for 8 years I did a Masters and
experienced teaching in the IB programmes – MYP and Diploma. I
managed to get involved in Asia and
Europe as a workshop leader and a
curriculum writer for the IB. After
gaining experience I was fortunate
enough to be appointed as head of
MYP based with the IB in Cardiff:
http://www.ibo.org/myp/
Describe your typical working day.
I travel and enjoy new locations and
experiences.
...and what’s the worst?
I attend a lot of meetings each day
which can be varied: curriculum
development, commercial publications, publications covered by
school fees, communications, ICT,
finances, quality assurance framework, professional development etc
Typically I will be in meetings 10-12
and 2-4pm and imbetween times, I
respond to the many email queries I
receive from colleagues and schools.
What’s the best thing about your
job?
I am not a fan of meetings that seem
to have no end in sight.
What are your top tips for getting
into the profession?
Enjoy what you do, enjoy being with
kids and don’t forget that this job
can be hard, frustrating and tiring,
but it is the best profession in the
world.
I love travelling and am able to meet
superb people in a range of schools
all over the world. I learn every time
This week’s job vacancies
To apply
for
the
positions
below,
just
call
into
the
Job Shop
and bring
along your
student
smartcard. The
Student Job Shop is located on the
first floor of the Union Society Building. Our term-time opening hours
are Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri 10am-4pm, and Thurs 10am-6.30pm. These
positions and many more are also
listed online at www.unionsociety.
co.uk
VACANCY 5747 - MULTILINGUAL TELEMARKETERS / RESEARCHER
JOB DESCRIPTION: Required for
an Educational IT company based in
the centre of Newcastle. Applicants
should be proficient in English and at
least one other European language.
Particularly interested in North/Central European languages, but other
languages may also be considered.
Job will involve establishing contact
with European educational establishments, introducing their services and
qualifying interest.
PERSON SPECIFICATION: Bilingual with a good telephone manner,
ability to carry out desk-based online
market research, and willingness to
carry out cold calls. Previous customer service experience desirable
but not essential. Would be ideal for
a non-British student or for a student
of Modern Languages wanting to
practice their language skills.
LENGTH OF CONTRACT: Ongoing
START DATE: Immediate
HOURS OF WORK: Negoti-
Tip #5:
Get your achievements
recognised
With the graduate job market
becoming
more
competitive,
employers are placing ever greater
emphasis on the things you do in
addition to your degree whilst at
able (probably around 10 hours per
week)
RATE OF PAY: £7 per hour + commission
CLOSING DATE: ASAP
LOCATION: Newcastle City Centre
VACANCY 5745 DANCE, DRAMA,
SPORTS LEADERS AND
ACTIVITY STAFF
JOB DESCRIPTION: Summer activity staff are needed to work with
groups of foreign teenagers based at
various universities around England.
Looking for people to organise and
lead activity sessions such as dance,
drama, sports, music or other similar
areas. Also for people to interact with
students, lead walking tours of tourist
areas, organise and run quiz nights,
talent shows, sports tournaments,
supervise discos and generally make
sure the social programme is varied
and interesting. Residential and nonresidential positions available.
PERSON SPECIFICATION For all
positions you must have a lively and
outgoing personality, a high standard
of spoken English, be available for
the whole of the month of July, and
enjoy working with teenagers. Experience is always helpful but there are
no formal qualifications. The main
requirement is confidence to motivate teenage students and help them
to enjoy their stay. For dance, drama,
and sports positions you must have
experience and/or qualifications in
the relevant subject to be able to run
2 hour sessions several times a week.
LENGTH OF CONTRACT: 4 - 6
weeks
START DATE: June / July
HOURS OF WORK:: 8 hours per
day. 48 Hours per week
RATE OF PAY: £5.73 per hour +
increment for specialist areas + full
board accommodation
University.
At Newcastle these things are
known as ncl+ (you probably have
seen the great blue chunky clicky
pens around).
This year the Union Society and
the University have decided to add
to the ncl+ offering and introduce
the ncl+ awards to recognise those
students that go the extra mile in e.g.
CLOSING DATE: 20/06/2009
LOATION: Various - across the UK
VACANCY 5743 - TRACTOR DRIVERS
JOB DESCRIPTION: Experienced
tractor drivers required for corn carting and cultivations during harvest
and planting. Large up-to-date machinery on 1000ha productive arable
farm in East Yorkshire. Young workforce, good accommodation.
PERSON SPECIFICATION Experienced tractor drivers with current
driving licence essential. Telescopic
handling certificate an advantage.
LENGTH OF CONTRACT 2 contracts available - 6 weeks or 10 weeks
START DATE: July/August
HOURS OF WORK: As necessary to
get harvest in
RATE OF PAY: £6.26 per hour up to
39 hours, overtime £9.39
CLOSING DATE ASAP LOCATION: Hull
VACANCY 5738 - FEMALE
SUPPORT WORKER
JOB DESCRIPTION: Personal Assistant required by young, dynamic
disabled female post-graduate
PERSON SPECIFICATION Vacancy is most suitable for an enthusiastic and lively woman to assist with
various duties of daily living. Driver
preferred
LENGTH OF CONTRACT Permanent
START DATE: ASAP
HOURS OF WORK: 10-15 hours per
week, flexible rota
RATE OF PAY: £7.20 per hour
CLOSING DATE 17/03/09
LOCATION: Jesmond
JOB DESCRIPTION: The successful
applicant will undertake a variety of
general cleaning and portering duties.
PERSON SPECIFICATION: You
should be numerate and literate, have
good interpersonal skills and some
experience of working in a service
environment. You will undertake
compulsory in-house training during
a five month probationary period.
LENGTH OF CONTRACT: Ongoing
START DATE: ASAP
HOURS OF WORK: 12.5 hours per
week, 0700-0930 hours, Mon-Fri
RATE OF PAY: Approx £6.80 per
hour
CLOSING DATE: 20/03/09
LOCATION: On Campus
VACANCY 5744 - INTERNET MONITOR
JOB DESCRIPTION: Computerbased analysis of Internet banner
adverts; categorization of the adverts
and translation of headlines from
Turkish to English.
PERSON SPECIFICATION: Fluency
in Turkish and English are essential.
An eye for detail and a methodical
approach are important. Keyboards
skills would be an advantage but are
not essential. You must be staying in
Newcastle over the vacation periods.
LENGTH OF CONTRACT: Permanent
START DATE: ASAP
HOURS OF WORK: 8 hours per
week. Monday-Friday
RATE OF PAY: £6.00 per hour
CLOSING DATE: 27/03/09
LOCATION: Newcastle City Centre
VACANCY 5746 - BUILD- VACANCY 5735 - AUDIO
ING FACILITIES OPERA- TRANSCRIBERS (UP TO
2)
TIVE
representing students on staff-student
committees, making a contribution to
sport by coaching or volunteering at
a local community centre.
There are ten different categories in
the ncl+ awards, so you are bound to
have something that’s worth entering.
The organisers aren’t looking for
extra-ordinary achievements (so
you don’t have to have climbed
Mount Kilimanjaro for charity – but
if you have you should definitely
enter!) it’s more about how you have
made a difference and what skills
you have developed through your
involvement.
In each category there is a prize
of £300 for the winner and £100 for
the runner-up. Shortlisted entrants
will receive free tickets to a glittering
JOB DESCRIPTION: An independent market research consultancy is
looking for up to two enthusiastic and
articulate people to join their team
as audio transcribers, to transcribe
interview and focus group audio
recordings. These roles will be parttime and flexible. You may also be
required to conduct qualitative and
quantitative telephone interviews
and recruit interviewees and focus
group participants. It is preferable
that you will be staying in Newcastle
over the vacation periods.
PERSON SPECIFICATION: You
should be able to demonstrate: excellent attention to detail, and the ability
to carry out work to a high standard;
fast and accurate typing skills; exceptional written and oral communication skills, including a confident
and professional telephone manner;
a high level of IT literacy; an ability to work under pressure and with
minimal supervision; flexibility and
initiative; experience of working effectively in a team and an outgoing
and friendly personality.
LENGTH OF CONTRACT: Initially
casual with possibility for long-term
arrangement
START DATE: Immediate
HOURS OF WORK: Hours are flexible, and casual. Maximum of 2 days
per week
RATE OF PAY: £6.25 per hour
CLOSING DATE: Ongoing
LOCATION: Newcastle City Centre
The Student Job
Shop is sponsored
by www.
corusgroupcareers
.com
awards ceremony at the Assembly
Rooms where the winners will be
announced.
It’s easy to enter all you have to do
is fill in the short online form which is
linked from www.ncl.ac.uk/nclplus/
awards by next Friday 20th March
12noon.
C
M
Y
K
FUN
16th March 2009
37
editor.union@ncl.ac.uk
The tutor interview: Sarah Rees
I thought about what I’d have done if I hadn’t become a university lecturer a lot when I was 29. So I went and taught maths for a few months
in Africa, and after that I had a job back here developing software on a maths research project, but ultimately I realised I had the freedom to
do both those and more from a job as an academic.
One thing I wish my students would do is ask more questions in lectures.
It’s pretty good to be the age I am now. It’s better than being 19-22 (not that that was really so bad..!)
One thing I wish I had known when I was a student was not to waste time being insecure, and just get on with it!
If I could have a drink with anyone, living or dead it would be Emma Thompson. I reckon we have a lot more in common than you might
expect a maths professor to share with an actor and director.
Probably my single biggest regret is giving up piano lessons at the age of 9.
The key to happiness is confidence.
There’s too much assessment in Britain today and too much evaluation, often by people not really competent to judge. People need to be
trusted to do what they believe is right without excessive checks.
One thing I love about my job is the variety, and the freedom (though we have a lot less of that than we used to…)
You wouldn’t think it, but I’m actually very good at standing on my head, speaking German, and doing arithmetic. And I can do all three at
the same time!
Prof. Sarah Rees is a Professor of Pure Mathematics at the School of Mathematics and Statistics
CRISS CROSS
Horror Scope
Compiled by Isabelle Douglas
ACROSS
1. Deathtrap
Land My
3. Dial And
5. Lighten Oink
7. Unstable Eye Pig
9. Bungle Joke Hot
11. Mending Info
DOWN
2. A Liar Outset
4. Taper Pen
6. Declare Nil
8. Sooty Try
.
FILM QUOTES
Guess the Films! They are
all Chick Flick quotes.
rams,
e the anag
Try solv all Sports!
e
ar
ey
Th
G
1) BY RU F LAB
2) LOT O NG
O
3) I WR ST
4) IN NE YO
5) HECKTAN
6) BELL LY BALL
7) LOVE CARS
8) LOSE
Chatterjee
by Katya
Compiled
TARGETS
Try fill in the Target from the
clues below. Al the answers are
seven letters and end in a R
1) Former, previous
2) William the ..., Historical figure
3) Episode, Section
4) Zeus’ weapon of choice
5) The ... strikes back, Star wars film
6) Slimmer
7) 1996 movie starring Helen
Mirren and Bill Pullman
8) The bird that wakes you up in the morning
9) 2007 movie starring Mark Wahlberg
10) If you add sugar, something becomes ...
about a group scientists
Answers
Puzzles
AMS WORD
R
G
A
N
A
WISE
1)Thirty, flirty and thriving’
2)‘They can take it away from
you, they can and they will.
But love they cannot take.’
3)‘I carried a watermelon.’
4)‘That is so sad, like 10 chickens had to
die just so she could look that stupid!’
5)‘To everyone here who matters, your
vapour, you’re spam, a complete waste
of perfectly good yearbook space.’
6)‘The greatest thing you’ll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return.’
7)‘How are things down under?
Blossoming I hope!’
8)‘You jump, I jump remember?’
9)‘She looks too pure to be pink.’
10)‘Do you trust me?’
WORDWISE; Wednesday
ANAGRAMS; 1) Rugby 2) Football 3) Rowing 4) Tennis 5) Hockey 6) Netball 7) Volleyball 8) Lacrosse
TARGETS 1) Earlier 2) Conquer 3) Chapter 4) Thunder 5) Emperor 6)
Thinner 7) Twister 8) Rooster 9) Shooter 10) Sweeter
CRISS CROSS Across 1. Lady and the Tramp 3. Aladdin 5. The Lion King 7. Sleeping Beauty 9.
The Jungle Book 11. Finding Nemo Down 2. Ratatouille 4. Peter Pan 6. Cinderella 8. Toy Story
FILM QUOTES; 1. 13 going on 30 2. A Knight’s tale 3. Dirty Dancing 4. Never been kissed
5.She’s all that 6.Moulin Rouge 7. Cruel Intentions 8. Titanic 9. Grease 10.Aladdin
Edited by Caroline Melloy
Try solve the anagrams in
the clues then fit them
into the grid. All the
answers are Disney Films
with Lucy Bridge
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
This week will feature sudden, uncontrollable outbursts
of laughter, verging on hysteria. This is the best way to
cure life’s problems. Laugh and the world will laugh with
you… or at you.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 19)
Your talents dictate that you will not go very far in life.
Gemini (May 20 – June 20)
Your future has the potential to be scary, sad and lonely.
Are you sure you want to carry on? Now might be the time
to put future plans on the backburner and focus on the here
and now.
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 21)
You and your heart have issues. You will never find true
love unless you are willing to compromise. Your expectations are just too high and not realistic. Perfection is in the
eye of the beholder!
Leo (Jul 22 – Aug 22)
Grey is definitely the colour of the week for you –although
I am uncertain as to whether this will be a good look in
terms of fashion or whether this shows the mood that you
will be in over the coming days.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 21)
Heated arguments feature on this week’s agenda when you
realise that those around you are not pulling their weight.
You continue to give and others take advantage of your
kind and generous nature. Be firm but fair!
Libra (Sept 22 – Oct 22)
The planets foretell that you will experience some difficult
times over the coming weeks. A break is what’s needed
after the start to this week that you’ve had. Although it’s
not clear whether this is a break from work or a relationship that has turned sour. It may be time to cool things
down and concentrate on your number one priority…you!
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Normally today wouldn’t cause you any difficulties, but
today might just go against the norm. Learn to expect the
unexpected. The mystics are being terribly vague on this
one.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Hopefulness can be a virtue, but naivety will get you into
trouble.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Love will strike when you least expect it. Destiny will help
you discover that you are not intended to be alone. So for
now, be grateful for the vast network of friends and family
that surround you.
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 17)
Three months of doing what you do best, and you’re still
no closer to achieving your goal. If after the first few times
you don’t succeed…just give up. This is better than the
embarrassment of being a failure and a loser.
Pisces (Feb 18 – Mar 20)
Life’s lessons cannot be learned from watching TV shows,
just as worldly knowledge will not be improved by
reading a dictionary. What I am trying to say is…get out
there and go see it for yourself!
SPORT
38
16th March 2009
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
sport
Intra Mural Football
and Rugby coverage
See page 43
Windies set back for Strauss
Despite promising personal performances, England slumped to a 1-0 series
defeat in the Caribbean. But will they be able to bounce back this summer?
COMMENT
Charley Wright
With a disappointing loss to a test
side that had only won three tests in
the last five years and a sobering slip
down the test rankings to 6th place,
where did it all go wrong for English
cricket? And can it reverse its descent
to claim what could be an historic
Ashes victory this summer?
After the dramatic late-afternoon
scenes of the Oval in 2005, where
Michael Vaughn’s team regained
the ashes for the first time since
1985, many would be forgiven for
believing that the decade could
belong to English Cricket.
However, four years, two captains
and two coaches later, with only
four series wins out of 13 since that
sunny day in London, the England
and Wales Cricket board must be
scratching their heads in the hope for
finding answers as to why England
have not reached the heights they
aspired so dearly to.
Where did it go wrong? There are
many reasons why the enthusiasm
for English cricketing success now
seems such a distant memory.
Any test side would miss their most
successful captain, and England
were no different. Losing Vaughn’s
shrewd decision making, let alone his
skills with the bat has undoubtedly
had an impact on the England side.
From Vaughn’s resignation as
captain came a transition period
that was anything but smooth. The
combination of new coach Peter
Moores and freshly appointed
captain, Kevin Pietersen, looked like
a match made in heaven, but it soon
lost its glaze of success.
Within a year the partnership had
turned sour, with both men leaving
their posts in a cloud of controversy
at the beginning of the year. Even
then, however, very few would have
predicted the loss of the Wisden
Trophy for the first time since 2000,
which incidentally is a great boost
for West Indies Cricket.
Despite the many negatives of the
most recent series, most notably the
comprehensive collapse in Jamaica
where the side were completely
overhauled for a total of 51, there
were positives.
Andrew Strauss, the newly
appointed captain after the charades
concerning Pietersen’s tenure and
departure, performed at the top of
his game with the bat, scoring 541
runs in the series with an average of
67, leading from the front.
Strauss obviously relishes the
captaincy, and arguably made the
correct decisions - on the whole throughout the tour.
Another success story was that of
Graeme Swann, who as the original
backup spinner for the tour took 19
wickets from five innings, staggering
figures for the Nottinghamshire
bowler. Ravi Bopara’s potential was
also on display again, showing his
composure and ability to flourish
under pressure.
However, to accompany these
small successes, there were so many
‘nearly-men’ and other complete
failures, including Owais Shah who
finally got his shot at test cricket after
a long wait but averaged a meagre 22
runs over four innings.
The question that must be asked is
whether English Cricket can come
back from such a poor loss to once
again defeat Australia and regain
the Ashes in the summer, via the
immediate reclaiming of the Wisden
Trophy back on home soil.
Again there are positive and
negative signs. Strauss’ captaincy
and his partnership with stand-in
coach Andy Flowers, is one such
positive. The ECB will have been
watching very closely to see if the
Zimbabwean is up to the top job, and
time will tell if he can handle it.
However, the ever increasing
uncertainty over Andrew Flintoff’s
fitness (the question still remains of
whether he can complete a five, let
alone three match test series), has led
many to question if he will compete
against Australia in the summer,
with many agreeing that to have
any chance of success in the Ashes,
Freddie’s presence will be essential.
With these and many more issues,
including the wicket-keeper position
and the troubled number three slot, it
is left for us all to look on helplessly
and wait to find out if England can
turn this series defeat into longerterm victory.
ENGLAND’S TEST FIXTURES
SUMMER 2009
Wednesday, 06 May 2009
England v West Indies, Lord’s,
11:00
Thursday, 14 May 2009
England v West Indies, Riverside,
11:00
Wednesday, 08 July 2009
England v Australia, Cardiff,
11:00
Thursday, 16 July 2009
England v Australia, Lord’s,
11:00
Thursday, 30 July 2009
England v Australia, Edgbaston,
11:00
Friday, 07 August 2009
England v Australia, Headingley
Carnegie,
11:00
Thursday, 20 August 2009
England v Australia, The Brit Oval,
11:00
C
M
Y
K
SPORT
16th March 2009
39
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
Big year for British boxing
COMMENT
Tomos Robinson
One aspect of boxing, and indeed the
vast majority of British sport, that
irritates me is the way that the British
media build up young sportsmen
and women as celebrities, while at
the same time ignoring the efforts of
much more credible athletes.
Boxing is a prime example of this,
and if you were to ask a random
member of the public to name three
British boxers, they would most
probably answer: 1. Ricky Hatton; 2.
Joe Calzaghe; 3. Amir Khan.
Two of those names have deserved
their place in that list, as they have
proved themselves to be among
the world’s best, with world class
opponents amongst their scalps.
Although Amir Khan has proved
himself to be a likeable, normal,
honest young man, he still has a long
way to go in terms of boxing. The
vast majority of his fan-satisfying
fights have been fought against
either over-the-hill, inexperienced or
natural smaller men, yet he probably
gets the most column inches in
British boxing.
He is a talented boxer, his silver
medal in the 2004 Olympic Games
has proved this, but Khan has much
more to prove before comparisons
with another former British boxing
medallist, Audley ‘Fraudly’ Harrison,
can be discounted.
Harrison,
the
2000
Superheavyweight Olympic Gold
Medallist, signed a contract worth
£1 million with the BBC almost the
second he stepped off the plane
from Sydney and became a national
celebrity, appearing on chat-shows
and other media functions.
The man has all the natural tools
you would want to be a heavyweight
world champion but no desire or
heart, and has fallen to the wayside
without a quiff of class recently, being
beaten by a part time Irish cabbie in
his last fight (taking nothing away
from the Irish or cabbies).
British boxing prospects should
perhaps take a leaf out of Carl Froch’s
book and build their way up, fighting
other good domestic challengers
before even considering talking
about being a world champion.
Nottingham’s Froch (“who?” I
hear you ask) became the world
super-middle weight champion in
December after being avoided by the
world’s elite for the best part of three
years. He was patient in his quest,
and looks set to take part in megafights in the years ahead.
If Amir Khan is to succeed in the
future, he needs to be shut away from
the media spotlight and concentrate
on his profession. Anyway, rant
over.
Later this year, Britain has the
chance to capture boxing’s two most
refuted accolades: the heavyweight
championship of the world, and the
Ring Magazine ‘pound for pound’
title.
David Haye; the former undisputed
champion at cruiserweight; has
finally brought some excitement back
the recently sluggish heavyweight
division, which previously involved
one fat eastern European trying to
knock out an even fatter eastern
European, not a particularly good
spectacle for the apparent ‘glamour
division’ of world boxing.
Moving up to heavyweight after
destroying Enzo Maccerinelli in
March to capture his Cruiserweight
title, Haye instantly started talking
the talk, declaring his new division
“a disgrace” and calling out the
universally recognised champion,
the 6 ft 7 Ukrainian giant Wladimir
Klitschko.
After knocking a credible, yet
limited, opponent in Monte Barrett
at the back end of ’08, a date with the
champion seems to have been set for
20th June in Germany.
Although Haye gives away almost
four inches of height and probably
20-25 pounds of weight to Klitschko,
the Ukrainian has been knocked out
before and is a little one-dimensional,
so if Haye employs the right tactics
and plays to his strengths, he could
be bringing back the titles.
While Haye’s date with destiny
has yet to be sign and sealed, Ricky
Hatton’s on-off mega-fight with
Filipino hero Manny Pacquino has
been confirmed to take place on the
May 2nd in Hatton’s second home,
Las Vegas.
Pacquino is regarded as the world’s
best boxer ‘pound for pound’, and
after humiliating fatigued legend
Oscar de la Hoya in December, is
looking for big pay-days.
None come much bigger than
the ‘Hitman’ due to his universal
popularity, and despite the credit
crunched times we find ourselves
in, an army of travelling fans should
invade the gambling capital of
the world to cheer on the people’s
champion.
I think Hatton has a good chance in
this fight, as he is the naturally bigger
man fighting at his chosen weight,
and therefore has the potential to
bully his opponent around the ring.
Hatton’s claim for the ‘pound
for pound’ title if he wins is a little
flawed as Pacquino has fought the
vast majority of his career way under
the ten stone weight limit, however
he packs a big punch so expect a
close, competitive bawl come May.
While Haye and Hatton are
embarking
on
new,
exciting
challenges this year, another great
British champion has decided to
hang up the gloves. Joe Calzaghe,
one of this country’s modern greats,
has called a halt on his unbeaten 46
fight career.
Few fighters exit the game at the
right time, and I think the “Welsh
dragon” has nothing else to prove.
He has held a world title since he
defeated a still game Chris Eubank
in 1997, calling the epic fight the
“hardest of my career”.
Having frustratingly waited the
best part of a decade for a unification
fight, he obliterated the hyped
American Jeff Lacy and outclassed
the Dane Mikkel Kessler in two great
recent nights for British boxing.
Unheralded in the United States
unto this point, the 2007 Sports
Personality of the Year became
hot property, fighting two self
proclaimed “legends” of the game in
Las Vegas and New York City, with a
multitude of A-listers watching on.
Even though his humbling of
Bernard Hopkins was a little
controversial and his demolishing
of an over-the-hill Roy Jones was a
little one sided, it was a fitting end to
a great career.
Calzaghe has had his knockers,
who say his record is “padded” with
no real prime, top draw fighters in
his résumé, but this naive view of a
certain few takes nothing away from
the career of a great champion, one
of the best that post-war Britain has
ever produced.
The many flaws in Blatter’s Premier rant
COMMENT
Daniel Cottam
FIFA President Sepp Blatter recently
criticised the English Premier League
by claiming that its popularity is
damaging the appeal of football in
other countries.
The outspoken Frenchman is
certainly no stranger to controversy
and has come under heavy criticism
in the past after making his opinions
public.
His most recent comments have
stirred the emotions of English
football fans and have signalled a
worrying intent that FIFA may well
pursue under Blatter’s leadership.
“The Premier League is the strongest
in the world,” said Blatter. “It is
taking over in such a manner that
the other leagues have difficulties to
match it.”
“In a competition where two-thirds
or three-quarters of the participants
in the league play not to be first, but
not to be relegated, there is something
wrong.”
What Mr Blatter is saying is correct,
of that there can be little doubt. But
the problem that myself and many
other football fans have with his
insight is his opinion on where the
blame lies for these problems.
Blatter believes that the large
influx of foreign players into the
Premier League has come about
in conjunction with its increased
commercial success. He has therefore
come up with an initial proposal to
impose a rule forcing English clubs
to field a minimum requirement of
home grown players in their starting
lineups.
This is perhaps understandable
given the lack of raw English talent
coming through the ranks in the
Premier League. However, in this
instance Sepp Blatter is not concerned
with the threat that foreign players
pose to the chances of any young
English talent getting a chance at the
country’s top clubs.
He is concerned that the Premier
League is so rich in foreign talent
and its appeal so great that it will
dominate world football for years to
come.
Maybe he has a point but it is
strange how Blatter is so quick
to criticise the English Premier
League. In his opinion it is the fault
of the Premier League that English
clubs are dominating football and
attracting the best players.
It is not the fault of the Serie A in
Italy and the fact that Italian football
is in such a state that hooliganism
is a regular occurrence and top
clubs such as Juventus and Milan
have been found guilty of criminal
activities and cannot even qualify
for the Champions League in their
domestic competitions.
It is not the fault of the French league
and the fact that one team (Lyon)
have been runaway winners for the
past seven seasons. The fact that
the league fails to be competitive in
anyway seems not to have registered
on Blatter’s radar.
And in Blatter’s humble opinion,
it is not the fault of the Spanish La
Liga and their foreign player ratio,
despite their national team winning
the European Championships in
2008.
Perhaps the most telling flaw in
Blatter’s argument lies in the names
seen on the team-sheets of Europe’s
top teams in the Champions League
final last season. Rio Ferdinand,
Paul Scholes, Gary Neville and
Owen Hargreaves were all central
to Manchester United’s success last
season. The same can be said of
Ashley Cole, John Terry, Joe Cole
and Frank Lampard at Chelsea.
It would certainly be interesting to
see what Blatter makes of this aspect
of the English game. But on evidence
of his recent comments it is obvious
that whatever he says would not be
worth listening to anyway.
SPORT
40
16th March 2009
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
Sailing Success
for Newcastle
New boats bolster
club’s achievements
SAILING CLUB
Jamie Gavin
Sports Editor
Newcastle’s sailing team have
enjoyed a successful season, their
most recent achievement finishing a
narrow second to West Kirkby Youth
Team at the Nottingham Snake Bite.
Newcastle lost the final 2-1, but
finished second out of 18 teams, and
they were the top placed university
team on the day.
It is a good result for a club which is
enjoying 2009 under the captaincy of
Emma Norris.
“We’re in a pretty stable position”
explained Norris. “We have fewer
members this year but the sailing
club has done better than it has ever
done before.
“We’ve been selected for the Wilson
Trophy, which is an international
competition that has 65 entries - so
that is obviously very prestigious
for us. The trophy is held by West
Kirkby Sailing Club. It’s not a
university event, however a couple
of us will be competing.”
And the club has achieved this feat
not only through the commitment
and hard work of its members, but
also the addition of new resources.
This season the club was buoyed by
the arrival of new boats which have
helped them to their success.
Norris described the introduction
of the new boats as amazing and
described how they benefit the club.
“Previously, we were unable to
train in the boats that we race in,
but with these new boats that is no
longer the case. They should help us
achieve even more as a club, as well
as raising even more money, as we
can rent them out.”
Funding is definitely an issue for the
sailing club, which is one of the most
expensive clubs to run in the whole
of the AU. The new boats, whilst
beneficial, do come at a significant
cost to the club.
“We got £5,000 off the Vice
Chancellor,” said Norris. “We
secured money for the boat from
science and technology for around
£1,700, along with £1,000 from the
Sports Centre.
“We also put in £1,000 pounds
that we raised ourselves. I emailed
the chancellor because we needed
£40,000 - which we felt we had no
chance of raising.”
Funding aside, Newcastle’s team is
highly talented and this was proven
in their impressive victories at the
Bottled Firefly and the Liverpool
Lash last term.
The club usually trains once a week
and competes at weekends, with
club members coming from a range
of sailing backgrounds.
Norris explained the calibre of
the top sailors at the University picking out the star performers of
this season.
“George Yeoman has had a lot of
good results recently, but pretty
much all the team have competed
internationally. Ben Crompton has
competed at the world young rowers
meet in 2000 and Ed Fitzgerald
has experience in international
yachting.”
“Everyone has sailed for GB so there
should be some future Olympians.”
When will we learn from the damned United?
COMMENT
Mark Levine
Picture the scene. It is the 2nd May
2001 on a balmy night at the fortress
of Elland Road, once described by
Sir Alex as ‘the most intimidating
atmosphere in Europe’. The ground
is filled with white shirts and the
mighty whites are playing host to
Valencia in the Champions League
semi final.
40,000 fans witness a goal less draw,
but the infamous Peter ‘living the
dream’ Ridsdale’s mouth is dripping
with saliva at the thought of a money
spinning final - possibly against Real
Madrid.
In fact, mugs like me had already
bought my final ticket in the hope
that the Peacocks make it to the first
European Final since that notorious
European Cup of 1975 when Leeds
were beaten by a bribed referee and
Bayern Munich.
The 2nd leg however is easy for
Valencia, 3-0 and the ‘dream’ dies.
Fast forward 8 years and Leeds are
hosting Yeovil Town at Elland Road
in front of 18,000 fans, in League 1
- meanwhile the devil incarnate is
now in charge of Cardiff and doing
his best to promote them. I’d be very
very scared if I was a bluebird... the
Damned United indeed...
The fall from grace of Leeds United
is well known and much revelled
in. It is one that has been relayed
constantly over the years.
It is the first point mentioned when
a club is accused of living beyond
their means. It is used as warning
to Manchester City, Spurs and
Liverpool fans - all that glitters is
certainly not gold.
Sure, most of the south and the
darker, wetter side of the Pennines
loved watching dirty Leeds fall
quicker than a 13 year old dropping
the Sun’s page 3 when his Mum
walks into his room.
But for us fans, the fans who
grew up singing about us being the
Champions of Europe (we were
robbed and we still won the old
UEFA Cup) it was torture.
For us fans who were once turning
up mid week for a spanking of
Deportivo La Coruna or to watch
us beat AC Milan, and compete
with Barcelona it was a despairing
situation.
Our recent F.A. Cup exit to non
league opposition came as little
surprise. Most fans I know had quite
rightly predicted an early exit. The
Damned United indeed. No more
Revie’s, Bremners, Grays, Strachans
or Yeboahs. These are dark times.
This article should be ignored
by all of you who do not hail from
Manchester, yet support ‘United’.
Nor should this advice be taken by
Gooners. Both these teams have and
will continue to have sound financial
backing and a board and owners
who appreciate that football is for
footballers and managers, aspirations
are those set and achieved by those
same professionals and finance is
controlled with little interference.
This article is instead a warning
to you Chelsea fans too young or
glory obsessed to remember Gavin
Peacock. Those Spurs fans who insist
Bentley is money well spent (we
had one of those, his name was Seth
Johnson) and those Liverpool fans
who think for some strange reason
that you have a God’s given right to
play in Europe.
All it takes is an over ambitious
board who do not plan for failure or
a board who constantly argue and
just choose to abandon ship. Let us
not leave out the possibility of an
owner who decides there is more fun
in the NFL.
The bottom line is, that there is
such a fine line between success and
failure few can see it. Ridsdale sure
did not and when the Reds pipped
us for Champions League spot is was
the beginning of the end, the big four
cannot afford to not be the big four.
Sure, the Champions League
quarter finals are brilliant and who
knows, you may well get to the
Semis. But what if you get beaten?
What if you qualify next year, but
not the year after? Are you prepared
for that? Are your players going to
want to stay if that happens? Are
your fans prepared for failure?
My advice is simple. Aim for
the best, prepare for the worst - it
happened once and will certainly
happen again. Eight Years ago I
genuinely believed the ‘a title’ was
around the corner.
Not sure I would class the League 1
playoff final victory as that. So to all
you cockneys and scousers, revel in
the fact the mighty whites are safely
in the lower leagues, but beware - it
could and still might happen to you.
C
M
Y
K
SPORT
16th March 2009
41
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
Firsts promoted as Poly slip up
Newcastle go up as champions with three games to spare
MEN’S FOOTBALL 1STS
Jamie Gavin
Sports Editor
Newcastle’s men’s football first team
clinched promotion without even
kicking a ball last Wednesday, when
a 4-1 defeat for Northumbria 2nds
at the hands of Leeds Met 3rds was
enough to hand them the league title
with three games still remaining.
This means the Royals bounce
straight back into tier two of BUCS
after being relegated the previous
year, losing only one of their seven
BUCS league games this season.
Club Captain Joe Foote said to be
crowned champions was “a fitting
testament” to his side and he praised
their application throughout the
year.
“To do it with three games in hand
really shows that we went about the
job in the right way.”
Newcastle got off to a flying start in
their opening two matches, beating
both local rivals. After a narrow away
victory at Durham they thrashed
Northumbria 2nds 4-0 at Cochrane
Park, with the Poly eventually
proving to be their closest rivals.
Then came an exhilarating game
against a strong Leeds Met 3rds side,
with Newcastle coming out with a
2-1 win after going a goal behind.
However, this was followed by an
indifferent couple of weeks for the
Royals. A bizarre 6-4 away defeat
to Sheffield 2nds in the league was
compounded by a 1-0 home defeat to
Huddersfield 2nds in the Cup, which
signalled the nadir in their season,
with Newcastle being dumped out
as early as the second round.
“I was always positive throughout
the year to be honest,” said Foote.
“The Huddersfield game was
probably the low point in the season.
Obviously we wanted to progress
further in the cup, but the way
we bounced back after that was
fantastic.”
And bounce back they did. Foote’s
men soon put the disappointment
behind them with two great wins
before the Christmas break.
In arguably their best first half
performance of the season, they were
3-0 up before the break against Leeds
2nds and this gave the Royals some
breathing space over the Yorkshire
side, who were hot on their tails in
the opening period of the season.
Captain Joe Foote led from the front with six goals in the campaign so far
A. WILSON
The game ended 4-2, with another
Cochrane Park victory sealing four
wins out of five for the first half of
the season.
The last game before the winter
break was without a doubt the best
contest of the campaign. Durham
2nds shocked the Royals with two
first half goals, which left the home
side trailing at the break – with
the visitors set to jolt Newcastle’s
Championship charge.
However, a magnificent second
half display and two goals from
striker Dave Kewn gave the Royals a
thrilling 4-3 victory and a more than
comfortable cushion at Christmas.
And Kewn was on song again a
fortnight ago, with another brace to
seal a 3-0 win and sweet revenge on
Sheffield, along with the league title
that ensued a week later.
Captain Foote had due praise for
his team’s free scoring forward.
“His goals have been invaluable all
the way throughout the year. His tally
is nine in only seven games in BUCS,
which is absolutely phenomenal.
“There’s been a couple of players
that stand out this year though,
George Coyle for one has been
fantastic in the middle all year.”
Club President Adam Pearson
focused on the team ethic, but he had
praise for talented winger Martin
Hill, who has provided an exciting
outlet for their side, and along with
Foote secured a call up for Northern
Universities in December.
“Hilly has been quality out wide this
year. He’s been consistently positive
and created lots of chances.”
Pearson
also
revealed
his
committee’s contribution to the clubs
success as a whole, with the 2nds
still within a chance of promotion in
their respective BUCS league and the
3rds set for a top two finish after a
difficult start.
“Credit has to go to last year’s
committee and we’ve just carried it
on. This is what we were expected to
do by the [Athletic] Union so it’s just
nice that we’ve followed it through
and got the promotion we deserved.
“If results go well and we perform
well next week the seconds definitely
have a chance, so its fingers crossed
as far as that’s concerned.”
Top scorer Kewn’s goals have propelled the Royals to promotion
A. WILSON
Poly quick out of blocks as Royal revival is halted
Early goals the difference as brave thirds beaten at Bullocksteads
MEN’S FOOTBALL 3RDS
NORTHUMBIA 4THS
NEWCASTLE 3RDS
3
1
Simon Murphy
Northumbria 4ths were crowned
Division 5B Northern Conference
champions after triumphing 3-1
over rivals Newcastle 3rds at
Bullocksteads.
The Royals, who are now seated
third in the league with one game
remaining, were undone by three
quick fire goals in the first 20
minutes.
Rob Thackwray pulled a goal back
for the Newcastle moments before
half time when the visitors’ star
man acted quickly from a free kick
while Northumbria were preparing
their wall, whipping the ball into the
bottom corner from 25-yards.
After a lacklustre start, the goal
triggered a revival.
The Royals sensed blood and began
to pile on the pressure. Martin Hill’s
pace and skill provided Newcastle
with a great threat down the right
flank.
He consistently got the better of his
marker but his crosses failed to find
the finish they deserved.
When Hill’s driven cross ricocheted
to Thackwray six yards from goal,
you would have been forgiven for
thinking the in-form man would
have bagged his second. However,
he uncharacteristically skied his
effort and the Royals were still left
searching for goals.
Hill’s crossing was wreaking havoc
in the hosts’ penalty area and they
were lucky not to concede a penalty
when his delivery struck a defending
arm just inside the box. But the referee
waved away Newcastle’s claims and
Northumbria could breathe again.
For much of the second half the
away side enjoyed the better of the
play but for all their effort they had
few chances to show. Dave Kewn
was often too isolated in his lone
striking role as Thackwray strove to
act as both attacker and defender in
his dynamic central midfield role.
The Royals’ defeat puts an end to
their four game win streak but they
can still cling to hopes of promotion.
Should they beat Teeside 3rds next
week and finish the season in second
place, they may be required to play
a promotion play-off against a side
in Division 4B - either Leeds 3rds or
York St Johns 2nds.
Meanwhile,
Newcastle
2nds
slumped to a disappointing 5-2 loss
against Northumbria 3rds. Goals
from Tom Milnes and Chris Musonda
couldn’t save the Royals, who now
stand in second place in Division 4B
behind Sheffield Hallam 2nds.
Rob Thackwray’s clever free kick was too little too late for Royals
S.OSMOND
SPORT
42
16th March 2009
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
Tyas announced as AU Officer
David Coverdale
& Jamie Gavin
Sports Editors
Vicky Tyas was elected as the new
AU officer after a close vote in last
week’s elections. She narrowly
edged candidate Joe Chamberlin into
second place and will take over from
current AU officer Jimmy Greene at
the end of June.
Tyas, who is currently treasurer
and secretary of the netball club, told
Courier Sport of her elation at being
elected.
“It’s honestly the best feeling in the
world, I’ve worked so hard for it and
I’ve wanted it so badly.
“It’s been the most tiring week
of my life but today has made it all
worthwhile.
“I’d like to say a massive thank-you
for everyone that has campaigned
for me and voted for me.
“I think my campaign team has
kept me sane throughout the week.
They’ve been absolutely amazing.”
She also had praise for the other
candidates in what was a year in
which there was hugely strong
competition for the position.
Along with Chamberlin, she
faced stiff competition from Clair
Herdman, Sarah McChesney and
Thomas Rhodes.
“The
campaign
has
been
ridiculously tough with five really
strong candidates. I have a lot of
respect for all the candidates, all of
whom were capable of doing the
job.”
Tyas, whose manifesto centred
around participation, performance,
profit, pride and party, will look to
retain the success of Team Newcastle
in the 2009/10 season and will call on
her experience to help her embrace
the job.
“I have seen how a club is run
through my experience in the netball
club. I’m also on the AU exec so I
understand the job and I understand
what I can do for next year.
“I hope to make the AU the best it
can possibly be.”
Squash seconds triumph in league
WOMEN’S SQUASH
Laura Mowat
The Newcastle Ladies Squash Club
have enjoyed a busy and successful
season, culminating in their superb
Stan Calvert victory last month.
In an event that was well supported
and seemingly friendly for the annual
varsity, the seconds won their tie
comfortably 4-0. The firsts had some
challenging matches, but they also
emerged victorious 10-7.
Although the club lost some valued
players last year, 2008/09 saw the
introduction of some talented and
keen freshers. Sarah McChesney has
been an enthusiastic President for
the club, which has welcomed any
level of squash player to Monday
evenings and team training on
Thursday evenings.
The first team started off well with
an impressive 3-1 victory against
Northumbria University.
Unfortunately, the following match
against Leeds Met involved Vanessa
Atkinson, a former world number
one, thus it was to be the first loss of
the season.
Following from this, the team
enjoyed four convincing victories
and two more losses to Manchester
University and at home to Leeds
Met.
The first team finished the season
in an impressive second position
and they reached the quarter-finals
of the BUCS knockout. However,
they were beaten by Birmingham, a
university renowned for its squash
playing ability.
The seconds, captained by Lucy
Milner, have become champions of
their league, finishing top. However
the team was knocked out of the
BUCS Cup after a tough match
against York.
The thirds faced a more difficult
campaign as they were in the same
league as the seconds, and finished
sixth in their league. The team was
well coordinated by Liz Ekers, the
captain. They showed fantastic effort
in the BUCS Cup beating Leeds
Met 2nds, and they offered a real
challenge to the league teams.
There have been plenty of socials
ranging from gambling at the dog
races to sophisticated meals and Blu
Bambu Wednesdays. There is even a
squash ski holiday this Easter to the
Alps.
Overall, the club has enjoyed a
successful season for the most part
and this blossoming, sociable side
will be hoping to continue their
successes into their next campaign.
Surrey success for orienteering club
ORIENTEERING
Matt Goode
Newcastle’s
orienteering
team
achieved success in the form of a
second and a third placed finish
at the 2009 British Universities
Orienteering Championships.
With a long journey ahead of them
(setting off at 5 am on Saturday 7th
March), the University’s orienteering
team made the five hour journey to
Woking, Surrey.
The weekend event consisted of
individual races on Saturday and
relay races the following day, with
a social event in between featuring
the annual boat race. Points were
awarded based on the top three
runners in the Men’s and Women’s
‘A’ individual course and the
position of the fastest men’s and
women’s relay teams.
Orienteering is a fast paced sport
that requires not only the ability
to run long distances over varied
terrain, but also fine navigation
using only a map and compass. As a
rule the club welcomes anyone, from
the novice to the experienced, with
beginners usually finding that it is
not difficult to improve quickly.
This year’s team contained a range
of abilities and competing against
international athletes was no mean
feat. Despite this, Rachel Majumdar,
a third-year Medical student, had a
fantastic run achieving second place
in the Women’s A individual course,
and the ad-hoc relay team, Magpie
Mixup, also pulled through with an
impressive third place position.
When the final results were
collated, the university was placed
an admirable seventh out of the 15
universities that entered, beating
Northumbria who were placed 12th
and improving on last year’s 14th
position.
GOLF CHAMPIONSHIPS
Dan Cottam
The Intra Mural Student Strokeplay
tournament took place at Close
House last Thursday. Seven players
took part in windy conditions at the
picturesque course, all competing
for a number of prizes including
lowest gross score and the longest
drive.
Although a much better turnout
was anticipated, the seven players
who made the tee off times
seemed to cope well in the wind
and finished the day with some
impressive scorecards.
Jamie Patterson finished the day
with the lowest gross score of 74,
whilst Mark Stevenson claimed
the prize for the lowest nett score
of 69.
In the additional prizes Patterson
also won the “nearest the pin”
award on the 8th hole. Mark
Davison came away with the
longest drive, with an impressive
shot on the 17th.
The competition was tight and
this emphasised the quality of
golf on show. Rob Henderson was
one of the competitors in the front
running. “It’s not a hard course to
play but experience does count a
lot”, he said.
“The wind affects your shots on
the back nine but apart from that
it shouldn’t make too much of a
difference.”
The Close House course itself
is open to university students
and costs just of £35 for a year’s
membership.
The
practicing
will begin then for next year’s
competition and on Thursday’s
evidence the quality will be as high
as ever.
C
M
Y
K
SPORT
16th March 2009
43
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
A. WILSON
Division Three sides Borussia Forsythe and Aftermath in action in their 1-1 draw Longbenton.
Medics chopped down by Axe Wielding Baboons
INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL
SATURDAY DIVISION TWO
AXE WIELDING BABOONS 3
MEDICS 2NDS
1
Matt Arnold
Axe Wielding Baboons stayed on
course for promotion from Division
Two of the Intra Mural Saturday
league with a 3-1 win over Medics
2nds at Close House.
The game started with a quick
goal for the Baboons, as Zaid Esmail
netted a half volley from 25 yards
with a swing of his left peg after just
minutes.
This was Zaid’s first goal of the
season after ten matches, and you
could tell just how much it meant
to the striker by the god awful
celebration.
The early goal sprung the Medics
into action, and from then on, the
first half hour was one way traffic.
The Medics eventually got their just
rewards with a well taken lob from
the edge of the box from Joe Nevin
and that’s how the match stayed
until half time, with both sides going
into the break honours even at 1-1.
The second half began as the first
half did for the Baboons, as they
retook the lead early on. After a
scramble in the box following a
corner, the ball trickled out to the
edge of the box and Loz Collins sent
the ball home with a delightfully
placed shot into the far corner.
The second half was a very hard
fought and competitive spell, not
helped by a slap on the wrists by the
referee anytime a player uttered or
even just thought of a swear word.
The Medics continued to push hard
for an equaliser with some one touch
football that even Barnsley would
have been proud of.
They were throwing everything at
the Baboons in search of a second
goal - including their stethoscopes,
but they couldn’t breach the solid
defence of Chris Regan, Tom
Heasman, Rob Chaffe and Colin ‘The
Rock’ Egner.
Although the Medics had the
majority of the possession, the
Baboons goalkeeper Andy Steele was
rarely troubled. The referee gestured
that there was only one minute
remaining, and the Medics worked
the ball down the left wing in search
of an equaliser and a cross-cum-shot
came rebounding off the bar.
Following a hurried clearance, the
ball made its way to the Baboons
captain Matthew Arnold, who
played the ball through to Zaid
Esmail and with the striker finally
breaking his goal duck earlier in the
game, he coolly slotted the ball past
the advancing Medics goalkeeper.
The ref blew the final whistle and
with it the Baboons took three hard
fought points. It wasn’t a game for
the spectators, but none the less the
Baboons will be delighted with the
result and the Medics will be left
feeling hard done by.
Engines on song as title race comes down to wire
INTRA MURAL RUGBY
ENGINES
AGRICS 1
22
12
James Barber
Engines carried on their excellent
season with a tough 22-12 win against
the Agrics. A physical encounter
saw the Agrics make good use of
the wind early on to pin the Engines
back into their 22 forcing the Engines
to give away penalties and opting to
kick for goal.
After spurning two kickable efforts,
with one coming back off the post,
the rumbling farmers eventually
broke the defence and piled over for
a forward’s try. The conversion was
duly added leaving the score at 7-0.
The Engines however recovered
like a prize fighter coming off the
ropes to march back down to the
other end and earn a penalty which
was duly slotted by the dependable
Ali Blair.
The Agrics came back strong and
were held back only by some big
hits in defence from the Engines,
with the much talked about Agrics
pack being held off by some defiant
scrummaging.
With the Engines struggling to get
out of their own half, a rare foray
into the Agrics half resulted in them
being thwarted just shy of the tryline,
only for the Agrics to return the ball
and come up with a classy try of their
own.
The
interesting
drop
goal
conversion attempt was sliced wide
leaving the Agrics looking to go in
looking comfortable at half time.
The Engines however had the final
chance of points, with a late penalty
going narrowly wide to leave the
score at 12 points to 3 in the Agrics
favour.
The second half saw the Engines
come out fired up, and with the wind
behind their backs they played some
classy rugby.
With some excellent backs moves,
they sliced through the Agrics’
defence twice to send winger James
Bird and fly half Ali Blair over for
a try apiece within ten minutes and
put the battling Engines ahead by a
narrow margin of two points for the
first time in the match.
The middle of the second half
saw a physical encounter, with the
Agrics forwards trying to find top
gear but consistently being driven
back by strong defensive work from
the Engines back row trio of Matt
Whitaker, Nick Armstrong and Man
of the Match Andy Kirton.
With the Agrics’ frustration
becoming more and more apparent
as the game wore on, the Engines
slotted two more penalties to leave
them nine points clear, and with the
sin binning of an Agrics prop for
dissent, the Engines held firm for
the final ten minutes for a historic
victory.
ENGINES
CRAYOLA B
23
0
Buoyed by this result, the Engines
went on to beat Crayola B 23-0 to put
further pressure on league leaders
Cheeky Ladies as the race for the title
hots up.
Crayola B were more than a match
for the Engines early on. Crayola
defended well against an extravagant
Engines appoach, and they restricted
their opponents to just 6-0 at half
time, Tom ‘Bummer’ Symondson
providing an unusually resolute
defensive display for Crayola.
After the break, it was the Engines’
turn to defend against a strong
Crayola attack. With Crayloa’s
secret weapon Phil ‘Big Face’ Wilson
resisting calls to unleash himself
into the match, however, the last 25
minutes saw the Engines play the
kind of rugby the Intra Mural league
has seen them play this season, and
they managed to score three tries in a
dominant finish to the match.
courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk
16th March 2009
Football firsts promoted
Full report Page 41
A.WILSON
Newcastle’s Elliott O’Brien evaids a Northumbria tackle as the Royals see their season ended at Cochrane
Meoke inspires Poly to see off Royals
Newcastle’s season over after Cochrane Park defeat to rivals
MEN’S RUGBY 1STS
NEWCASTLE 1STS
NORTHUMBRIA 1STS
14
29
Tom James
Newcastle suffered another defeat
at the hands of Northumbria at
Cochrane Park last Wednesday to
see them knocked out of the Premier
Cup.
With the Royals place in the
Northern Premier League secured
for next season the cup competition
provided a chance for some
silverware but a combination of a
host of basic errors and the flawless
kicking of Ash Meoke for the Poly
saw the Royals beaten 29-14.
The Northumbria number ten will
not have many better games as he
kicked seven kicks from seven to
record a personal tally of 19 points
and was the inspiration behind much
of the Poly’s attacking play.
After a heavy defeat at Stan Calvert
the Royals needed to improve
drastically were they to stand a
chance of victory. Newcastle started
brightly and could have taken the
lead within two minutes through a
penalty but Gavin Hadley’s attempt
was pulled just wide of the posts.
Northumbria then took the lead
on ten minutes as Meoke easily
dispatched a penalty from in front
of the posts. The lead was then
doubled five minutes later as the
Royals conceded another penalty
and Meoke did the rest.
The Poly then increased their lead
further on twenty minutes as they
scored the first try of the game.
A neat sidestep from the Poly ten
allowed Northumbria to break up
field and some excellent passing out
of the tackle allowed them to spread
the ball out to their winger who went
over in the corner.
Meoke added the two points with a
conversion from the touchline to put
Northumbria 13-0 up and leave the
Royals facing another heavy defeat.
The Royals finally opened their
account after gaining possession in
their opponents half and winning
a penalty from 40 metres which
Hadley kicked for 13-3. It looked as
though the Royals would keep the
deficit at ten points going into half
time as they kept Northumbria quiet
for the remainder of the half.
It was not to be however as the
Poly scored their second try with
the last play of the half leaving
Newcastle with a mountain to climb
in the second period if they were to
progress.
Newcastle started the second half
the stronger of the sides and another
Hadley penalty put the Royals within
two scores of the Poly. The Royals
then conceded a penalty themselves
and the flawless Meoke bisected the
posts.
Newcastle gave a much better
account of themselves in the
second half as they enjoyed some
good periods of possession in the
Northumbria half. However despite
applying pressure on the Poly defence
Newcastle kept committing basic
errors with the Royals’ handling of
the ball letting them down on several
occasions.
Another Hadley penalty gave the
Royals hope but once again they
immediately conceded a penalty in
their half for going in at the side and
another successful kick for Meoke
followed by a further penalty as
Newcastle kept collapsing the scrum
saw the Poly take a 29-9 lead.
Newcastle did manage to score a
try right at the death as prop Adam
McKenzie drove over the whitewash
as Newcastle finally managed to hold
on to the ball without knocking on.
It was too little too late for the
Royals who have now lost three
from four this season against their
neighbours.