INDIAN CHILD WELFARE
September, 2011
RESOURCE PARENTS MATTER
This newsletter is produced for the resource
families in our program
and all those interested
in the welfare of our children. If you have comments or suggestions,
please contact us.
Cherokee Nation ICW
PO Box 488
Sallisaw, Ok 74955
918-774-0800
Profile Books are a Useful Tool
For Adoptive and Birth Parents
Profile books are an important part of the placement process. Especially, if you wish
to work with private agencies or birthmothers. You may ask yourself why a profile
book is necessary since you have provided all of your personal information for your
home study. There are several reasons a profile book is essential in choosing a family for placement. Private agencies require these types of books for their own families. Therefore, they are required for the families Cherokee Nation refers to them.
With your permission, these profile books are showed to the child’s birthmother to
help them decide on which placement they feel will be suitable. There are times
when a birthmother may want to look at a profile book rather than read a home study.
Here are some helpful hints in preparing yours.
Mission Statement
Preserving Cherokee children’s cultural ties through
recruitment, education and
support of Native American
and kinship resource
homes.
Inside this issue:
On-line Training
3
Free Training
4
Yummy apple recipe
5
Cherokee Blood
Law
6
Dealing with
Teen Drama
7
Announcements
8

Choose photos that tell stories. Birth families are looking at your profile and trying
to imagine their baby fitting into your life. That is easier to do if the photos are of you
doing things rather than posing in a studio. Candid pictures do this better than posed
photos, so use as many candid as you can in order to show all of the things you want
to show.
 Use photos that broaden your family. Birth families aren't just placing their baby
with you, they are placing him or her with your network of family and friends. The people looking at your profile want to see the faces of their baby's potential grandparents,
aunts, uncles, cousins, (of course brothers and sisters if applicable), church friends
and friends.
 If your friends have kids and/or you have nieces and nephews or other kids in
your life then there are two reasons to include pictures of them. First, they are your
baby's future playmates and second, including pictures of you with them (the kids)
shows you interacting with children and helps a birth family imagine what kind of parents you will be.
 Don't over analyze how you look in the photos. Remember this: you are about 10
times as hard on yourself in pictures as anybody else is.
 Choose photos that will tell a story about your lives as a whole. You want to give
the birth family an opportunity to see what you looked like as kids, how you met, dating pictures, wedding pictures and pictures that show what your lives have been like
since the wedding.
Continued on Pg. 2
Page 2
September, 2011
Continued from pg. 1

Your story will, of course, be unique to you. However, as much as possible you should show yourselves as well-rounded: active (i.e. not every photo of you together is on a couch), loving (pictures of you
together with your arms around each other), independent (pictures of you individually with friends, family,
etc. and not only with each other), well-traveled (so that they will know the child will have chances to
travel, too), and social (doing fun things with friends).
 If you don't have the pictures you need, don't hesitate to ask around to friends and family for pictures
that work, or to just take a camera to church with you so that you can capture your spouse working in the
nursery or singing on stage, for example. It's not dishonest to take pictures specifically for the profile as
long as they are of things that are really a part of your life.
 Choose photos that can be captioned in a couple of words, a phrase or at most a sentence. The birth
family wants captions but doesn't want to read paragraphs under each picture.
 It is okay to include a letter to the birthparents in your profile book. This should be information you
want the birthparents to know about you that they may not be able to get from the pictures in the profile
book such as occupations, family not included in the book, travels, involvement with church, information
about pets, fertility issues, and hobbies. Remember they may be seeing your profile book without reading
all the details of your life in your home study.
Many couples prepare their profile books by using scrapbooking materials. Another popular way to create
a profile book is to use photo books from places such as Shutterfly or any of your local photo labs (WalMart, Walgreens, Drug Warehouse, etc.) The basic photo books such as these starts at $19.99.
Photos tell the story of your life, so be thoughtful and conscientious in your selection and arrangement.
Most importantly, be yourselves, show yourselves, help the readers envision what a child’s life with you
would be like.
The above article was provided by ICW staff person, Stacy Morris
Take Pride in Your Tribe……
You may not be aware of it, but you may know someone who is interested in becoming a Resource Parent. Take pride in your tribe
and share with your friends, co-workers and family the gift of foster or adoptive parenting. The qualifications are:
Must be a member of a federally recognized tribe (self or spouse)

Offer a child love and respect

Be at least 21 years of age

Provide a stable home environment

Be healthy enough to care for a child

Offer a child positive guidance

Be financially able to meet a child‟s needs

Help a child reunite with their family

Be able to accommodate another child

Help a child maintain their culture

Be a relative of a child in DHS or tribal custody
For additional information about becoming a resource parent
Call: 918-458-6900 or 1-866-376-9319
Page 3
September, 2011
On-line Training!
On-line training is a quick and convenient way for Cherokee
Nation resource parents to earn some of the 12 credits of inservice training which are required each year.
Available Courses
Continuing education is important to resource parents in order
to learn and grow in their work with the children and young
people in their home.
Anger Pie (ABC‟s of dealing with child‟s behavior issues)
Children with Autism
Childhood Anxiety Disorders
ADHD/ ADD/ ODD
Reactive Attachment Disorder
Self-Harm
Stealing
Running Away
Wetting and Soiling
Sexualized Behavior
Sleep Problems
Lying
In order to make it easier for resource parents to complete
their annual training requirement, OKDHS and Cherokee
Nation have teamed up to provided 12 pre-paid in-service
credits at Foster Parent College for each resource parent.
(One Foster Parent College “training unit” is worth two
“in-service training credits”.)
Most Foster Parent College courses are interactive, interesting, and only take about 45 minutes to view. (Courses that
offer more credit will take more time.) Most courses are worth
2 in-service training credits. Courses that require more
“training units” provide more “in-service training credit”. You
may select courses using up to 6 “training units” at no charge.
If you choose to order more courses in a year, you can pay for
those additional courses on your credit card.
After viewing the course, participants can send a certificate
documenting their completion directly to their Certification
worker via e-mail, and then print a copy of their certificate for
their own records.
Before choosing your first course, you will need to register for
this free training opportunity.
You can register at:
http://www.nrcys.ou.edu/programs/rft/training_reg.php.
Once you fill out the registration form and submit it you will
receive an e-mail with your password along with the information you need to register for your free training at
www.fosterparentcollege.com.
Do not try to register yourself at Foster Parent College or you
will be prompted to pay for the classes.
Please note: each parent will be assigned their own password.
If you have already registered and have taken courses, contact
your certification worker and make sure that they have copies
of your training certificates.
Behavior Management
Parenting Strategies
Culturally Competent Parent
Grief & Loss in the Care System
Child Abuse Neglect
House Safety
Relationships: Strengthening Communications
Working with Schools
Working with Birth Parents I: Visitation
Kinship Care
Positive Parenting I
Positive Parenting II
Positive Parenting III
Safe Parenting
Advanced Parenting Workshops
Advanced Parenting Workshop on Anger
Advanced Parenting Workshop on Lying
Page 4
September, 2011
Page 5
September, 2011
Apples are a wonderful seasonal Fall fruit. Below is a delicious recipe you
can have your children help you with. It is a versatile recipe that allows you
to add or take away ingredients according to your taste. For instance, you could add
pecans , raisins or honey. For a hearty lunch, omit the cinnamon, cream cheese, sugar
and brown sugar and add turkey breast , cheddar and honey mustard. The possibilities are endless.
Creamy Apple-Cinnamon Quesadilla
INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup reduced-fat cream cheese spread
(from 8-oz container)
1 tablespoon packed brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 whole wheat tortillas (8 inch)
1/2 small apple, cut into 1/4-inch slices (1/2
cup)
Cooking spray
DIRECTIONS
1 In small bowl, mix granulated sugar and 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon; set aside. In another small bowl, mix
cream cheese, brown sugar and 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon with spoon. 2 Spread cream cheese mixture over
tortillas. Place apple slices on cream cheese mixture on 1 tortilla. Top with remaining tortilla, cheese side
down. Spray both sides of quesadilla with cooking spray; sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar mixture. 3 Heat 10inch nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook quesadilla in skillet 2 to 3 minutes or until bottom is brown and
crisp; turn quesadilla. Cook 2 to 3 minutes longer or until bottom is brown and crisp. 4 Remove from skillet
to cutting board; let stand 2 to 3 minutes. Cut into 8 wedges.
The whole wheat tortillas are the stars in this kid-friendly snack, which is so easy to prepare, the kids can
make their own. If your family is not used to whole wheat tortillas, ask them to try something new—they may
just like (or love) it!
Page 6
September, 2011
The ancient practice of Blood Law was how
Cherokee people dealt with capital murder within the tribe.
The Article below is a good description of how it was enforced.
Blood Law was a method of justice many Cherokee are familiar with. Blood Law was an exercise of one’s
clan to restore balance to the universe following the murder of a family member. In 1810, this practice was formally
abolished with the Cherokee Nation Light Horse Guard being established and delegated the authority to police the
Nation. Although the practice of Blood Law was excluded as an acceptable form of punishment, the idea of, and
underlying belief in, the practice continued. The murder of Major Ridge, John Ridge and Elias Boudinot upon their
unauthorized sale of Cherokee homelands tells us that even nearly 30 years after the discontinuation of Blood Law
as an acceptable exercise of justice, attitudes of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth remained.
When one hears about abuse by a parent, we often allow ourselves to become advocates for the reinstatement of Blood Law as Justice for those who cannot protect or provide for themselves. Sometimes the offense does
not matter, we often make up our minds that if the child is removed, the child is better off away from the parents,
permanently.
A lesson can be learned from this author’s understanding of the Ancient Cherokee Warriors as told to him
by his grandfather. Since Cherokee history began, early Cherokees were continuously at war with neighboring
tribes, whether the Senecas, Catawbas, Delawares, Creeks or others. Delegations or war parties would be sent to
an offending village to issue challenges of war. A location would be selected and a date and time prepared for the
meeting. Fighting occurred in a clearing close to town so wounded could be treated. Villages were not attacked as
to assure the safety of the women, children and elders. Those who chose to fight in wars delighted in the experience. Men had a choice whether to fight or not. Those who chose to could gain honor and prestige within the
tribe. On the day of fighting, warriors arrived with their weapons of war: knives and lances made of wood and
stone. Fighting lasted for a set amount of time and then it would simply stop. Those killed or wounded were carried home and the battle was over; at times there was no decisive winner in the war. Victorious or not, the returning warriors celebrated the battle with a big dance and huge feast. Cherokee world and culture is now much distanced from the days of war parties; however, warriors can still exist and the opportunity for prestige remains.
It is unfortunate when Usdi Tsalagi (Little Cherokee) are removed from their families/parents. It is hurtful to
the child and family and certainly creates a new chapter in the life of the family. When removal occurs, however,
the opportunity for prestige exists both for the child and the parent(s). Though warriors of the 17th and 18th centuries were dignified by their excursions and effectiveness in hand-to-hand combat, warriors in the 21st century can
be defined by their success in overcoming huge obstacles.
ICW plays an important role in shaping warriors out of the cases that come through. ICW must be attentive
to the children and parents served for they are warriors in the making. As this author’s grandfather noted, not all
men chose to go to war and, therefore, not all men gained stature in the Tribe. The same can be said of the parents that ICW serves. Not all parents are willing to battle self-destructive behaviors or generational habits leaving
only some parents willing to fight. For the ones that can be trained and developed into warriors, ICW must stand in
the gap to offer the opportunities for change, the tools for the transformation and the advocacy for success. Conversely, the children ICW serves have not a choice and are thrown into battle. ICW must be diligent to train these
young ones into fierce fighters; fighters who will secure a brighter future for themselves and for their Tribe
If ICW employs Blood Law to all cases, there ceases to be a need for the role of ICW in the lives of Cherokee families. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth seems to be appropriate at times, however, the overarching
principles that govern ICW supervisors, case workers, service providers, and placement resource homes must be
of strategic development and the outcome of those principles must mirror the battle field, in that, warriors must
emerge, from each case one touches, victorious and highly honored.
The following story was provided by Cherokee Nation ICW staff, Jerod Applegate
Page 7
September, 2011
Dealing with Teen Drama: Positive Discipline
Parenting Techniques
Stay Calm – Do Not Engage in Teen Drama
Teenagers use drama for several different reasons. One reason is that teen drama achieves a desired reaction from
the parent. When parents respond to teen drama with parental drama, they add fuel to the fire, escalate the tension
and model the exact behavior they do not want to see from teens.
Although many parents want to win and focus on being “right,” parents lose in the long run when they join in with a
dramatic attitude or actions. “If you are feeling defensive, ask yourself, „What are my long-term goals? – to control
behavior or to teach life skills?‟”
State Limits in Positive Discipline Strategy
Decide what you will do, not what the child will do. In dealing with teen drama, it is usually much easier for parents
to decide on their own actions rather than trying to control the behavior of a teenager.
Once parents decide what they will do, they can state a limit. Examples of stated limits about what the parent will do
are:
 “I will listen to your concerns after you‟ve calmed down.”
 “I‟m willing to listen when you are calm and respectful.”
 “I‟m going to go calm down and we can talk later when we both are not upset.”
Parenting Techniques to Walk Away Calmly
After stating limits, the next step is to calmly walk away. Staying in the same space together makes it hard for both
parent and teen to calm down and not engage in more drama.
A parent‟s first reaction is often for the teen to go away – “Go to your room!”, “Get away from me!”, but those
strategies engage teens into more drama. It‟s more effective for a parent to decide what he or she will do and leave
the room with as calm a demeanor as possible.
Positive Time Out for Parents and Teens
Positive Time Out is different from traditional time out and means that a parent and child both take a break and use
self-calming skills to regroup their emotions before discussing solutions.
Teenagers can develop self-calming skills when parents give teens an opportunity to calm down using a positive
time out. But when parenting techniques either demand that teen drama stop immediately or when parents give in to
teen drama pleas, teens don‟t get the opportunity to practice and learn self-calming skills. It may take a while for
teens to develop self-calming skills if they haven‟t had the practice before.
It can be especially challenging for parents to use effective parenting techniques during moments of intense teen
drama. Positive Discipline strategies such as "deciding what you will do", stating limits and positive time out can
teach self-calming skills to teens and demonstrate that drama won't engage a parent, induce parental guilt or nudge
parents to give in
Parents can make teen drama worse or they can plan ahead to respond with parenting techniques that teach teens life
skills such as self-calming techniques and taking a positive time out break. The book Positive Discipline for Teens
(Three Rivers Press, 2000) and the Positive Discipline Tool Cards offer help for parents.
Read more at Suite101: Dealing with Teen Drama: Positive Discipline Parenting Techniques | Suite101.com http://
www.suite101.com/content/teen-drama---positive-discipline-parenting-techniques-a257441#ixzz1YcMGbM54
Page 8
September, 2011
Indian Child Welfare
Offices
Catoosa: 918-266-5626
1-800-256-0671 or
918-453-5000
Sallisaw: 918-774-0800
Family 411 at Your Service
Do you have a quick question and can‟t get in touch with
your certification worker
or your child‟s caseworker?
Well, don‟t wait.
You can send an e-mail to
Family411@cherokee.org
Stillwell: 918-696-7603
Resource Parent Support Team
Tahlequah: 918-458-6900
1-866-376-9319
The Rogers/ Tulsa Area Support Team
Will meet on 9/26/2011
At the Catoosa ICW office
At 6:30 p.m.
Newsletter Inquiries call
Sallisaw Office or mail to:
P.O. Box 488
Sallisaw, Ok 74955
CPR/First Aid
We now have our own certified
CPR/ First Aid Instructor.
If you would like to see a class
scheduled in your area
please call:
For more information call:
918-774-0800
Save the Date……….for a day of training
Would you like to complete 1/2 of your
Tonia Stamper at 918-266-5626
Extension: 7742
required yearly training in one day?
on November 4, 2011 you can do just that.
watch your mailbox for details on
For information about
What is going on
In your
Community,
Log on to:
www.cherokee.org
where to go on this date to complete
half of your training.
hope to see you there!