VOL. 14, Issue 1 / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 1
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2 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
C H R I S T I A N
U N I V E R S I T Y
faulkner.edu
Published Semi-Annually by
CLOVERDALE CENTER
FOR FAMILY STRENGTHS
Vol. 14, Issue 1
Spring/Summer 2013
Director/Editor
Donnie Hilliard, Ph.D
Assistant Editor
Jeanette Stubblefield
Advisory Board
Millie Barnett
Bill Battles, M.D.
Jan Battles
Ricky Butts
Harrell Freeman
Sherrie Hilliard
James Hilyer
Dennis Itson
Keith Mock
Nancy Stinnett
Nick Stinnett, Ph.D.
Keith Wishum
Regular Contributors
Steve Diggs
Raymond Elliott
Nancy Itson
E. Dean Kelly
All rights reserved. Please address
questions, comments, submissions,
subscription information to:
Our Families Magazine
Cloverdale Center for Family Strengths
5345 Atlanta Highway
Montgomery, AL 36109
(334) 386-7232
E-mail: jstubblefield@faulkner.edu
Website: www.faulkner.edu
The inclusion of articles and advertising does
not imply endorsement by the editorial staff or
by Faulkner University. Our Families Magazine
editorial staff reserves the right to edit and/or
exclude from publication any story, report,
or advertisement deemed inappropriate for
publication for whatever reason.
The purpose of the Cloverdale Center for
Family Strengths is to strengthen families for
life by learning what makes families successful,
sharing that knowledge with others, and
serving families in the community.
In This Issue…..
4 WORDS FROM THE DIRECTOR
By Donnie R. Hilliard, Ph.D.
5 PREACHING FOR MY GRANDSON By Dean Kelly
7 THE BLESSINGS WE SHARE
By Kristi Busby
8 LONG-TERM CARE
By Raymond Elliott
10 FAILURE, THE FIRST STEP TO SUCCESS
By Steve Diggs
11 MIMI’S HOUSE
By Michael Brock
12
Happily Ever After:
Change Your Mind, Not Your Mate
By Keith Wishum
14 MAGNIFICENT MARRIAGES
14 Walter and Ruth Bryan: Married for 75 Years
By Philip Bryan, their son
15 EUGENE AND PEGGY HARRISON: 61 YEARS TOGETHER
By Lita H. Fields, their daughter, and Dawn F. Kimbrell, their
granddaughter
16ROBERT AND SUSAN WAGGONER:
CELEBRATING 51 YEARS (AND MORE) TOGETHER
By Robert Waggoner
19ROIKI AND SHERRY PHILLIPS’ STORY:
THE REWARD OF COMMITMENT
By Brent Missildine, their son-in-law
22 RECIPE CORNER
By Nancy Itson
Pictures on pages 5, 8 .9 and
24 are by Bill Houghton.
See Bill’s beautiful and exciting
photographic gallery online at
www.billhoughtonphotography.com.
“God created the picture;
I just snapped the shutter.”
– Bill Houghton
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 3
Words from the Director
Precious Memories
Donnie Hilliard is
the Director of The
Cloverdale Center for
Family Strengths at
Faulkner University
in Montgomery,
Alabama.
VOL. 14, ISSUE 1 / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 1
On the cover:
Busby Family
Tower of Strength
Award Recipient
Photo Courtesy
Amanda Redman
Photography
Neighborhoods. They were so unassuming as we grew up in them. Just places to live
or so it seemed. Now I see them more like factories where, little did we know, we were
manufacturing a remarkable product – CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. It was in those
factories that we made friends and we lost friends, we played and we fought, we succeeded
and we failed. Now, as adults, we can see how we’re the better for it – not just because of
what we learned but also because of what we can remember.
One of the early factory sites was WALKER VILLA. 830 Forsythe Street. A whiteshingled, 3-bedroom house that was quite small, but what huge, huge memories.
Seeing the double ferris wheel at the Exchange Club Fair from our front yard. Hearing
the trains at night across Gwinnett Street.
China berry wars. Barry and his cronies playing COMBAT. Jimmy Melton’s loud
music next door. Baseball bats? Barry, do you remember catching Mike Higgins’ bat in the
mouth? Or that blistery cold Christmas Santa brought us a pup tent for 2, but somehow
four of us squeezed into it for the night in the front yard?
Remember those who worked in that factory with us? Elaine Harrell. Elaine Ervin.
Karen Sapp. Toot. Dee and Angela Hooper. Marie Smith. Sherrie Mathis. Calvin and
Brenda Wilson. Cheryl, Jackie, and Gene Hutchinson. Eddie Hall. Tommy Abbot. Mike
Higgins.“Big Donnie.” Carl and Linda Weeks. Steve and Stan Smith.
Perhaps the neighborhood we recall most fondly was down on 319 Ellis Street behind
Houghton School. It was so neat having a playground for a front yard! Ellis Street. A
beautiful two-story house with a tin roof. A brick street. Getting tickled at the dinner
table. Learning to ride a bike. Marshall McNulta. Sissy Mitchell. The Penvose clan. The
Ropers. Joey Powell. The Rogers boys. Harold Cross.
Finally, the last neighborhood where the whole family lived together – 2024 Lively
Street. Lady. Bull. Sego. Butler. Irma. The green Volkswagen Bug. Young parents.
Only faint faces and distant memories now. But I wonder where our childhood friends
are and perhaps they wonder the same about us. Isn’t it funny how those little kids became
an eternal part of our minds? Isn’t it scary to think that they have memories of us?
In a way a neighborhood becomes a lifelong fraternity or brotherhood. Those experiences
with our neighbors, our friends, helped make us who we are. And tonight as I remember
those precious moments, I recall with fondness and much love, sharing my childhood with
a brother I called “Hillard” and a sister I claimed as “My Little Angel.”
May God help our children to be gentle dream-weavers as they live together in our
homes whether as a brother or a sister. If each of them is blessed with a brother or a sister
like I was, they will be a better person for it, not just for what they learn from each other
but from what they will be able to remember forever.
In fact, if I could go back in time and if God would allow me to select the brother and
sister of my choice, I’d choose you again, Barry and Carol Ann. Thanks for the precious
memories.
4 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
“Preaching for my Grandson”
By Dean Kelly
unday afternoon I told my
grandson that I was going to
have to get ready for church
services. He looked at his mother and
said, confidently, “Paw-Paw peech.” She replied, “Yes, Paw-Paw is going
to preach.” My daughter and her
husband live about 40 miles from
where I preach, but they have come
to worship with us for Sundays since
they have been married. I thought
as I heard the little two-year-old say
that I was going to preach, that I am
the only preacher he really hears right
now. I had noticed him several times
before intently staring and listening
to me. It was true again Sunday night.
I do not know how much of what
I was saying he comprehended, but
S
he was definitely, from time to time,
listening.
As I contemplated all of this,
I thought that I have a true
responsibility to him, as long as I am
about the only preacher he is hearing.
And the more I considered it, the
more I came to the conclusion that I
would be a better preacher if I always
preached like I was preaching for my
grandson. I want many things for that
little one, but above all I want him
to go to heaven. And maybe that is a
good way for me to define “preaching
the truth in love” in my own mind:
preach like I am preaching for my
grandson. All of this led my everwandering mind to a list of 10 things
I want to make sure that my grandson
hears from the pulpit.
1 – THE LOVE OF GOD AND
HIS SON JESUS.
I am glad that among the songs he
has learned so young are the songs,
“Jesus loves me,” and “Jesus loves the
little children.” I want him to grow
up understanding the wonderful love
of the Savior, and knowing He cares.
If I preach like I am preaching for my
grandson, I will make that clear.
2 – HOW BAD SIN IS.
I want him to understand, through
my preaching and other teaching,
that sin is very, very bad, and that
it matters how he lives, and what
decisions he makes. He needs to
understand that with sin comes
punishment, even from a loving God.
Continued on page 6
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 5
Preaching for my Grandson
Continued from page 5
I must emphasize this if I am going
to preach like I am preaching for my
grandson.
3 – I UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE
HIM, BUT THAT DOES NOT
MAKE WRONG RIGHT.
He needs to know that he is loved,
not based on what he does or how
successful he is, or any other thing,
but just because he is. But he must
also understand that love does not
mean that when he does wrong that
it is all right with me. The same, of
course, is true with God. God loves
the world (John 3:16), but that does
not mean that He accepts wrong as if
it were right. I hope that this lesson
will be clear if I preach like I am
preaching for my grandson.
4 – HOW TO OVERCOME SIN.
I want to let him know that he can
overcome sin by hiding the word of
God in his heart (Psalms 119:9,11).
He needs to know it is a battle but
he can win by being faithful to God.
My prayer is that if I preach like I am
preaching for my grandson it will help
others overcome sin.
5 – HOW TO BECOME A
CHRISTIAN.
I do not want that precious little one
to grow up without a full and sound
knowledge of the scriptural plan for
becoming a Christian. I want to be
sure that he can never claim he did
not know what to do after hearing
Paw-Paw preach. I am cheating
others, just as I would him, if I fail
to teach this lesson. That is not how
I want to teach my grandson, nor
anyone else to whom I may preach.
6 – THAT CHRISTIANITY IS A
LIFE, NOT JUST A HOBBY.
I want this little fellow to understand
that he has to give God all or nothing.
Too many think of Christianity like
a hobby: “I will take part in it when
I have time.” Beyond the preaching,
of course, my grandson needs to see
grandparents, and parents who are
showing him a life that is Christian
in all its aspects. It is not meant to be
harsh, but the fact is that I need to
tell others as I would tell him, if you
are not willing to give yourself fully to
God, then you are wasting your time
and God’s.
7 – TO LOVE.
I believe that one learns to love.
You learn it from parents (and
grandparents). You learn it by seeing
it practiced. I also believe that it is
necessary for me to show him by my
preaching that we must love others,
both by the content of my preaching,
and by the attitude of my preaching.
He needs to know that anyone who
has not learned to love, will not fit in,
nor be fit for the home in heaven that
God has promised to His own. May I
demonstrate love and teach love from
the pulpit to my grandson, and to all
who hear me preach.
Lord. He needs to know that the
bad times, and the hard times,
and the times that he will not
understand why they are happening
will all work out for his good
(Romans 8:28). I need to give this
message of hope to those who may
hear me, like I would if I were
preaching for my grandson.
8 – THAT THERE ARE GOOD
PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM
AND WILL HELP HIM GO TO
HEAVEN.
He needs to learn to seek out the kind
of people that will help him instead
of hinder him, and who will love him
in “deed and truth,” and not just in
pretence. He needs to know that the
companions he chooses can affect
his eternity. That is a message I must
make clear if I am preaching as if for
my grandson.
I am going to enjoy this time
right now when little two-year old
Thomas says, “Paw-Paw’s car” so that
he can ride in my car to hear “PawPaw peech.” I feel the burden of
responsibility that is laid upon me to
teach him well from the pulpit. I want
to always feel that same burden of
responsibility for all of those who may
hear me preach.
9 – THAT ALL OF LIFE WILL
WORK OUT WELL IN THE END
– FOR THOSE IN CHRIST.
He needs to know that he has a
victory guaranteed if he serves the
6 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
10 – THAT HE HAS TO CHOOSE
THE PATH HE WILL TAKE.
He has a good set of parents that
love him and love the Lord. But,
ultimately, he cannot go to heaven on
their faith. He must choose his path.
I hope that what he hears me preach
will help him toward the right path,
but I know he will have to choose.
He needs to understand that there
are consequences or rewards awaiting
the end of the path he chooses. I
cannot choose that path for him,
and neither can anyone else. In my
preaching, preaching for my grandson
or whoever makes up my audience, I
need to encourage them to take the
right path by clearly and specifically
pointing the way to that path. More
than that, I cannot do.
–––––
Dean Kelly preaches for
the Highland Home
Church of Christ in
Highland Home,
Alabama. He also serves
as an adjunct English
instructor at Faulkner University.
A Tower of Strength
The Blessings We Share
Photo Courtesy Amanda Redman Photography
By Kristi Busby
T
here are very few people I can remember the first
time I saw them. Scott is one of them.
Scott and I met, while attending school at
Faulkner University, in 1994. I remember him walking
towards the Rotunda, and my friend Angie (Shane) Byrd
and I were walking back to our dorm. He was wearing
his “tie shirt.” He gave us (what I would soon learn) was
his customary “smile and nod.” We started dating a few
months later.
Our first date was July 14, 1994. I knew Scott was special
soon after we started dating. How many times have I been
asked if he has a brother? More than I can count! We
finished at Faulkner in the spring of 1996. We both worked
full-time while I applied to vet school at Auburn University.
We also began to make plans for our lives together.
My goal in life was to be a veterinarian. I got my
acceptance letter to Auburn College of Veterinary Medicine
in March of 1997. Thank goodness! We had already been
dating 3 years and were set to marry on May 10, 1997.
Dr. Kenneth Randolph married us. He was my (almost
exclusive) Bible teacher during my years at Faulkner. He did
not charge us a fee for the ceremony, telling me, “in lieu of
money, we needed to stay married at least 50 years.” 15 years
later we are almost 1/3 of the way there.
Our married life has been blessed. While living in
Auburn, I went to vet school and Scott commuted every
day to UPS in Montgomery. After finishing school in
2001, we moved back to the Montgomery area, where I
practiced veterinary medicine and Scott continued working
at UPS.
Our children blessed us further several years later.
Kate is now 8 years old, and Brooks is 6. They are
both treasures. I work part-time as a veterinarian now,
preferring my full-time job to be “Mama.” Our church
home is University Church of Christ, where Scott serves as
a deacon and Bible Bowl coordinator for Lads to Leaders.
I have also served as president of the Central Alabama
Veterinary Medical Association, and I enjoy doing
community service for our county humane society.
I try to always refer to our family as blessed, rather than
lucky. Our parents and grandparents prayed for us for
years to find a Christian spouse. Now that God answered
that prayer, ours is for our children. Scott and I share the
blessing of having Christian parents and grandparents who
have long standing marriages based on faith in God. And,
it is our desire to continue that tradition.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The Scott Busby Family was awarded
this year’s Tower of Strength Family Award. The family
was recognized during the Friends For Faulkner Luncheon
at Faulkner University’s Annual Bible Lectureship program
on March 5, 2013.
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 7
Long-Term Care
I
By Raymond Elliott
t was over the Christmas holidays that our oldest son
approached me about what arrangements his mother
and I had made in case one of us needed ‘long-term
care’ due to a stroke or some other sickness that possibly
could cripple us. Now that question caused some serious
thinking on my part. It is something that you really don’t
like to consider since we are still in relatively good health.
But our age is showing. After all, my wife and I will be
seventy-eight years old our next birthday anniversary. I
think sometimes I am a twenty-five-year old man locked
in this seventy-seven-year old body. I don’t feel this old,
but I am. Aging parents can really be a major problem
for caring children. And ‘long-term care’ is so expensive.
People have lost their homes, property and savings when
in need of ‘long-time care.’ I knew of this Christian
couple who was in the same nursing home and a relative
of theirs stated the cost was $12,000 per month!!! I
couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Oh, I know that
Medicare will pay some but you still have to give up
practically all your earthly possessions in the process of
covering the expenses for ‘long-term care.’
There are ‘long-term care’ policies that can be
purchased from various insurance companies for a
price and if you can afford it, that can be a wise
choice. While my wife and I do not have one of
those policies, we do have another ‘long-term care’
policy that we have had for most of our lives. While
in our youth we confessed our faith in Jesus Christ
as being the son of God and were baptized. The
cost for our salvation and ‘long-term care’ was paid
by our Savior who shed His blood on Calvary. We
could not afford the cost ourselves so He paid it for
us. And we know for a fact that the Owner of this
policy has cared for us over the years, including fiftyseven years of marriage. Oh, the road has not been
an easy one to travel but it was during the times of
trials, burdens and difficulties that His policy really
‘kicked in.’ I am speaking of the care of our Heavenly
Father that has seen us through the valleys of this life.
The apostle Peter wrote in I Peter 5:6, 7: “Therefore
humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that
He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon
Him, for He cares for you” (Emphasis, mine, R.E.).
The providential care of God is greatly emphasized by
Jesus Christ in the Sermon on the Mount as recorded
in Matthew chapter 6, verses 25-34. He provides
We could not afford the cost ourselves so He paid it for us. And we know for a fact that the Owner
of this policy has cared for us over the years, including fifty-seven years of marriage.
“Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on His gentle breast,
There by His love o’er shaded,
Sweetly my soul shall rest.
Hark! Tis the voice of angels,
Borne in a song to me,
Over the fields of glory,
Over the jasper sea.
8 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe from corroding care,
Safe from the world’s temptations,
Sin cannot harm me there.
Free from the blight of sorrow,
Free from my doubts and fears;
Only a few more trials,
Only a few more tears.
While in our youth we confessed our faith in Jesus Christ as being the son of God and were baptized.
The cost for our salvation and ‘long-term care’ was paid by our Savior who shed His blood on Calvary.
for “the birds of the air” and He clothes “the lilies of the
field.” He then asked his disciples “Are you not of more
value than they?” Regarding the material blessings of life
the Lord said if we “seek first the kingdom of God and His
righteousness,” He promised that “all these things shall
be added to you.” God has also given His children this
promise as found in Hebrews 13:5, 6: “I will never leave
you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord
is my helper; I will not fear: What can man do to me?” I
have often quoted Psalm 37:25 to express my trust in
the providential care of our Heaven Father: “I have been
young and now I am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous
forsaken, Nor His descendants begging bread.” In 1904,
Walter S. Martin wrote the lyrics to this beautiful song
that mentions the promise that “God Will Take Care of
You.” “Be not dismayed whate’er betide, God will take care
of you; Beneath His wings of love abide, God will take care
of you. Thro’ days of toil when heart doth fail, God will
take of you; When dangers fierce your path assail, God will
take care of you. No matter what may be the test, God will
take care of you. God will take care of you, Thro’ every day,
O’er all the way; He will take care of you, God will take
care of you.”
But the care of God does not end when this life is over
for His children. His ‘long-term care’ policy is extended
into eternity. Our bodies are daily growing older. The
days of our lives are numbered, “For the living know that
Jesus, my heart’s dear refuge,
Jesus has died for me,
Firm on the Rock of Ages,
Ever my trust shall be.
Here let me wait with patience,
Wait till the night is o’er;
Wait till I see the morning
Break on the golden shore:
they will die” (Psalm 90:10; Ecclesiastes 9:5). The fear
of death does not overwhelm the faithful followers
of Jesus Christ, knowing that they will be in the care
of their Heavenly Father (Psalm 23:4). In fact, the
apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 1:23 that to die and
be with the Lord “is far better.” John was instructed
to write in Revelation 14:13 the following: “Blessed
are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,”
says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors,
and their works follow them.” Isaiah, a prophet of
God, penned these words of encouragement: “Good
people pass away; the godly often die before their time.
But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems
to understand that God is protecting them from the
evil to come. For those who follow godly paths will
rest in peace when they die” (Emphasis mine,
R.E., Isaiah 57:1, 2; NIV). Eternity cannot be
comprehended by our finite minds but we have the
promise that God will take care of us. The sentiments
expressed in the following song fills the believer’s
heart with full assurance of that great truth.
________
Raymond Elliott is a long-time
gospel preacher who now dedicates
a lot of his time to writing. He
and his wife, Virginia, live in
Prattville, Alabama.
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on His gentle breast,
There by His love o’er shaded,
Sweetly my soul shall rest.”
Words: Fanny J. Crosby, 1870
Music: William H. Doane, 1870
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 9
Failure, the
First Step To
Success
By Steve Diggs
No Debt No Sweat!
Financial Seminar Ministry
www.stevediggs.com
1958
. What a time! America was
feeling her collective oats. It was
the year Billboard Magazine began its Hot 100
chart reporting hits by the likes of Pat Boone,
Rick Nelson, and the Platters. Gunsmoke,
The Danny Thomas Show, and The Tales of
Wells Fargo captured our tele-attention in the
evenings. The Brooklyn Dodgers and the New
York Giants grand slammed their way to the
West Coast.
But not everything was so successful. 1958
also saw the launch of one of the most highly
promoted cars that Ford Motor Company had
ever produced. Of course today, for many
people, the word “Edsel” is almost synonymous
with the word failure. But it didn’t start out
that way. Designed to be an innovative, nichefiller in the Ford line-up, the Edsel featured a
host of new styling and technical ideas. One
of the most talked about ideas was the push
button system in the center of the steering
wheel hub that controlled the automatic
transmission. Even the name was special—
chosen from nearly 8,000 options.
But, alas, the Edsel simply didn’t sell. One
person described the car’s sales chart as the
drawing of a dangerous ski slope. After three
disappointing years and millions of lost dollars,
Ford discontinued production of the Edsel.
So, what does the Edsel’s failure have to do
with you?
Well, actually it may have a lot to do with
you. Sure, I realize that some of you are
financially healthy and are looking for investing
concepts. But there is also another group of
you who are hoping to find some answers and
relief from money problems that are tearing
apart the very fabric of your lives. If you are
like many Americans today you started your
early adult life “planning” for success. You, no
doubt, planned to have enough set aside one
day to buy a home, send the kiddos to college,
and retire with dignity.
Yet despite all those early “plans,” if you are
like over 70% of American families, today you
are living paycheck to paycheck. For you, the
American Dream long ago became a gothic
nightmare. If I’m describing you, maybe you’ll
identify with some of these struggles:
You know all too well what it feels like to sit
bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night
10 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
not knowing how you are going to pay the
rent.
More than once, you have hesitated to
answer the phone for fear of another harassing
bill collector.
You dread talking about money with your
spouse because it always ends in a fight. And,
even worse, there are times when you haven’t
been totally honest with each other about
money and spending issues.
When a good cause comes along your
heart breaks because you have nothing to
contribute.
If you can relate to any of these
scenarios—I’m talking to you. Because, just
like the Edsel, you had “plans” for success,
but somewhere along the way things got off
track. Remember, Ford Motors turned the
Edsel experience around, and learned from its
mistakes. Today, with scores of automotive
hits to its credit, Ford is one of the most
successful carmakers in the history of the
world! By learning from your mistakes—
and then having the courage to do things
differently—your future can be a lot brighter
than your past.
Everybody on the other side already
has a plan. Car dealers, advertisers, real
estate salespeople, telemarketers, credit card
companies—all have plans to extract the
money in your wallet and transfer it to their
corporate piggy banks. And unless you are
more prepared and dedicated than they are—
you’ll lose and they’ll win. No, I’m not saying
that these are bad people. But as a consumer
you have to be dollar smart. You need a
spending, budgeting, and investing plan
that you stick with no matter how good that
new car smells or how low that introductory
interest rate is.
America’s Great Closet Sin
Like most of the problems we face,
financial pain has its roots in the bad decisions
we have made all along the way. And, like
most bad decisions, we are filled with shame
and fear that others will find out. To admit
financial failure is to admit that something
in our lives is out of control—and we don’t
like to do that. So instead of bringing the
problem into the light where it can be dealt
with, we try to hide it from others—and often
ourselves. Things go from bad to worse until,
finally, the house of cards falls in on itself.
God really does know how we tick.
Over the years I have become convinced of two
things:
1) As long as I deny or excuse any sin in
my life I continue to fall further behind.
Only when I face my sin can the healing
(changing) process begin. Sin is like a cancer;
until it is recognized and isolated it can’t be
treated. And just as cancer, a sin ignored doesn’t
go away—it continues to grow until it finally
consumes and destroys the whole body!
2) There is strength in numbers.
Sometimes the only way to deal with a problem
is through confession and accountability to
other believers. James tells us to “confess your
sins to each other and pray for each other so that
you may be healed” (5:16).
As we accept and internalize these two vital
concepts things change. We will begin to
debunk the three myths that keep us in debt:
1) People in debt think they’re all alone.
You aren’t! You’re with over 70-percent of the
population if you’re living from paycheck to
paycheck.
2) People in debt think they’re dumb. This
is a lie from Satan. As long as you feel stupid
and incapable—you won’t be an overcomer.
Remember, God has put a lot of gray matter
between your ears. Anyone can learn the basics
of overcoming debt.
3) People in debt feel hopeless. Things are
not hopeless. Virtually anyone who gets focused
and follows a plan can get totally out of debt
(excluding their home) in a one- to four-year
period.
____
Steve Diggs presents the No Debt No Sweat!
Christian Money Management Seminar at
churches and other venues nationwide. Visit
Steve on the Web at www.stevediggs.com or call
615-834-3063. The author of several books,
today Steve serves as a minister for the Antioch
Church of Christ in Nashville. For 25 years he
was President of the Franklin Group, Inc. Steve
and Bonnie have four children whom they have
home schooled. The family lives in Brentwood,
Tennessee.
Mimi’s House
By Michael Brock
Why do the babies want to come to Mimi’s house so much?
Is it the hugs and kisses or her gentle, caring touch?
Or could it be the prizes she is constantly bestowing,
The ones she buys every time or any time she’s going?
Or maybe it’s the special toys she keeps for them to play,
Maybe that’s the reason they always want to stay.
Could it be her cooking, that special touch she shows,
The special things they like to eat? Somehow she always knows.
The patience and the care she shows is a wonder to behold,
Even when they misbehave and she has to scold.
Why do they come to Mimi’s house each time they get a chance?
Why are they so happy there, why do they sing and dance?
Why is it when they have to leave they always start to cry?
It breaks her heart to see their tears as they are waving bye.
Many times when they can’t come they will call her on the phone.
The way they plead to come to her, you’d think they were alone.
But she always knows the things to say to chase away the sorrow.
Most of the time she promises, “I’ll come to you tomorrow.”
Many reasons they come to Mimi’s house are in the list above,
The most important one is this: Mimi’s special love!!
Editor’s Note: Mimi is Michael Brock’s wife.
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 11
Happily Ever After:
Change Your Mind, Not Your Mate
I
By Keith Wishum
f you want a happy marriage,
don’t change your mate; change
your mind.
By “don’t change your mate,”
I mean don’t go get a new one.
In many ways, this is a simple
suggestion. But it runs so contrary
to American thinking that it may
be hard to absorb. Changing one’s
mate – getting a new spouse – has
become the go-to solution for
marital unhappiness. And, personal
happiness has become the god of
our culture.
Consider this description of
marriage from a Time article, “Is
There Hope for the American
Marriage,” written by Caitlin
Flanagan in 2009:
An increasingly fragile
construct depending less and
less on notions of sacrifice
and obligation than on the
ephemera of romance and
happiness as defined by and for
its adult principals, the intact,
two-parent family remains
our cultural ideal, but it exists
under constant assault. It is
buffeted by affairs and ennui,
subject to the eternal American
hope for greater happiness,
for changing the hand you
dealt yourself. . . There is no
other single force causing as
much measurable hardship and
human misery in this country
as the collapse of marriage.
Notice that Flanagan says that
while we look for “the eternal
American hope for greater
happiness,” we are finding misery.
What America is doing is not
working. So, let’s do something
different. Let’s do something
ancient, something guaranteed
by God to work – to grant
us happiness and to preserve
marriages.
The Pursuit of Happiness
It’s natural that we want to be
happy. The pursuit of happiness is
one of our “unalienable rights” as
Americans, and we certainly look
to our marriages to be a source of
our happiness. The problem is that
sometimes our mates don’t do what
makes us happy. Then it’s tempting
to think it’s time to change mates.
But, what if we changed our
mind instead? What if we could
keep the same mate, but still find
happiness?
God wants you to be happy,
too. In fact, he requires you to be
happy. Four times in the Philippian
letter alone, he commands that we
“rejoice” (Phil. 2:18, 3:1, and 4:4
twice). His command implies our
control. God never requires of us
what we cannot do. We can choose
joy – in our current marriage.
That may be easy if you have
a godly, loving mate. Or it may
be more of a challenge if you are
married to someone selfish and
sinful. But, it’s possible either way.
The key is to understand an
ancient secret that the apostle Paul
discovered about happiness. It is
independent of circumstances. In
other words, happiness does not
depend on who you are married to
or what kind of spouse you have.
12 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
Two Key Concepts
Paul’s letter to Philippian believers
is not about marriage. But it is
about relationship. At the beginning
of chapter four, Paul wrote some
important words that are easy for us
to overlook. In verse 2, he uses words
and structure that were common in
Greek letters as a way to say, “Here’s
the point.” What is a little surprising
is that the point of the letter seems to
be about resolving some differences
between two otherwise unknown
women, Euodia and Syntyche. For
our purpose, the important thing is
that Paul’s letter was about mending
a relationship – something highly
relevant to marriage.
Writing about relationship, Paul
seems to focus elsewhere. Ten times
in just four chapters, Paul uses
the Greek word “phroneo”. It’s a
word that means to think, to set
one’s mind on, or to have a certain
attitude. The word occurs only 16
other times in all of the rest of the
New Testament, but turns up 10
times in this one letter. It is found
only 8 times in the 16 chapters of
Romans compared to 10 times in
just 4 chapters here. Obviously,
Paul was calling attention to a key
concept: attitude is important. How
we think and what we think are
critical to life – to whether we have
happiness. As someone has put it,
“Attitude determines altitude.”
Another key concept in
Philippians is joy. The Greek word
for joy (chara) is found 12 times
in this letter. In four of those
occurrences, Paul uses an imperative
verb to call on his readers to rejoice -
to be joyful. Being happy is a choice
they, and we, can make. And Paul
insists that we choose joy.
These two concepts, attitude
and joy, are both emphasized
in Philippians, and they are
interrelated. We find joy when we
realize that it is a product of our
own thinking, our own attitude,
not of the circumstances around us.
Not even the person to whom we
are married.
A Test Case
To some, it will seem impossible
that happiness could be found
in their current marriages. It’s
a frequent refrain among those
contemplating divorce that “I just
can’t believe God would want me to
be unhappy for the rest of my life.”
I don’t believe so either, but,
based on Paul’s teaching, I do
believe God wants us to find
happiness down a different path
from what we often think. And, our
thinking is the key.
Paul himself is a demonstration
of this principle that our thinking
– our mind – determines our
happiness. You are probably
familiar with his words in
Philippians 4:11-12, “I have
learned to be content whatever the
circumstances. I know what it is to
be in need, and I know what it is
to have plenty. I have learned the
secret of being content in any and
every situation, whether well-fed or
hungry, whether living in plenty or
in want.”
Notice a couple of important
things about Paul’s statement. His
contentment was independent of
his circumstances. His mind-set was
that he could be happy anywhere,
anytime. That’s an amazing
statement given his situation when
he penned this letter. Paul was sitting
in prison facing possible execution,
knowing that people on the outside
were working against him to hasten
his death. In spite of that he claimed
contentment. Because of that, he
could command joy.
Happiness is a choice. Stephen
Covey said, “Between stimulus and
response, one has the freedom to
choose.” That may be one of God’s
greatest gifts to us. If Paul, in his
difficult situation, could choose joy,
so can we.
A Learned Behavior
Changing your mind, the way
you think about how to be happy,
may not be easy. It may take some
time. But, it’s something that can be
learned.
In Philippians 4:11, when Paul
says he learned to be content,
the word he used means to be a
disciple. It’s the same word used
in the New Testament to refer to
the 12 disciples of Jesus - those
who learned His ways. Paul says
you and I can be a disciple of
happiness.
In the same way, in 4:12,
Paul said he learned the secret of
being content. He uses a different
word here, though - a word used
nowhere else in the Bible. This
one means “to be initiated.” It
normally refers to the initiations
into the pagan “mystery” religions
– secret Greek societies. Paul uses it
to suggest that we can be initiated
into a way of thinking that allows
us to be happy.
All of that is good news for
marriages. It means that we can
learn to be happy even with lessthan-perfect spouses. That’s good
news because those are the only
kinds of spouses we will find. It’s
just a matter of learning a new
attitude – a new way of thinking.
How do we do that? We’ll explore
that more extensively in future
articles, but here is a quick preview.
To be happy in marriage, we will
need to adopt the attitude of Jesus
himself - an attitude of humility
and self-sacrifice (Phil. 2:5ff ). We
must learn to focus on the positive
about people and situations (Phil.
4:8-9). Complaining must cease
(2:14). So must selfishness (2:3).
You and I will be happy when we
learn to think in the ways that bring
happiness. We don’t have to change
anything outside of us to be happy.
We just have to change the way we
think.
That does not mean that couples
should not work to improve their
relationship. It doesn’t mean that
it’s OK for a jerk to continue to be
a jerk and expect his spouse to learn
to be happy in spite of that. But, it
does mean that we start with self,
with our own thinking and attitude.
It means that the only divorce we
turn to is the one that divorces
happiness from circumstances.
Your marriage may be made in
heaven. Or, it might remind you
more of that other place. Either
way, just as Paul found joy in both
good times and bad, so can we. But
only if we change our mind (and
not our mate).
_____
Editor’s Note: This is
the third of a series
of articles that Keith
Wishum has written
for Our Families
Magazine to help
us strengthen our marriages. Keith
preaches for the Williams Road Church
of Christ in Americus, Georgia, and is
the author of Journey to Joy: Ancient
Secrets for Happiness. He can be
contacted at kwishum@bellsouth.net.
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 13
Walter and
Ruth Bryan:
Married for 75 Years
By Philip Bryan, their son
T
he following quotation is from my dad’s own story written for his grandchildren and
great-grandchildren.
“Our courtship lasted two years. I could not propose marriage, not having anything, so I
just kept hoping. It was about 18 months before I proposed. We married January 23, 1938,
which was Ruth’s Aunt Elsie’s birthday.
Ruth and Elsie (Elsie Bohl Becker) were about the same age. They had been in high school
at the same time so she wanted to marry on Elsie’s birthday. Our
wedding was just a little unusual. Ruth wanted to marry following
the morning services at church. It had rained the night before and the
muddy roads there were bad. Ruth had invited our friends, but others
in the congregation did not know of our wedding. Here on a day when
the roads were not the best, people kept coming into the services. Some
wondered just what the occasion was that so many people were in
attendance on a day when the roads were so difficult on driving. At
the close of the service, they announced that there would be another
service immediately following. After dismissal, the bridal party went
to a back room, and then marched out at the singing of songs, and we
were married then. Others, who did not know about the wedding,
said had they known of it they would have been in worship that
morning. Interesting indeed, they could not come because of the road
situation, but had they known of the wedding, they would have been
present.”
Walter and Ruth have served the following congregations of
churches of Christ: Sayre, Oklahoma; Hollis, Oklahoma; Southwest
congregation, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; Springfield, Vermont; 8th and Maine, Enid,
Oklahoma; Clinton, Oklahoma; Norman, Oklahoma; Piedmont, Oklahoma; Southside
congregation, Paul’s Valley, Oklahoma; Newcastle,
Oklahoma and Cache, Oklahoma. Walter also filled in
at Bridgecreek, Oklahoma, after retirement.
Walter also made mission trips to Australia, Alaska,
and Ghana, West Africa. He has raised funds to support
missionaries in Ghana and Togo. Ruth has been
involved with ladies classes and sewing ministries.
Now retired, Walter and Ruth live at Tealridge
Retirement Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma,
adjacent to Oklahoma Christian University. They are
members of the Wilshire Church of Christ.
Walter’s last major sermon was preached at the
Wilshire congregation, Oklahoma City, on the occasion
of his 90th birthday. He is currently working on his
sermon for his 100th birthday on August 16, 2013.
14 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
Stories of Marriage and Success
Four couples, married a total of 237 years, share with readers their courtship,
the challenges they have faced together, and their words of encouragement.
Eugene and
Peggy Harrison
61 Years Together
61
By Lita H. Fields, their daughter,
and Dawn F. Kimbrell, their granddaughter
D
addy and Mother have known each other most of
their lives. They went to elementary school together
at Crossville (a small community near Vernon,
Alabama) in Lamar County. As a teenager, Daddy quit school
and went to work for his Daddy, Dewey Harrison, cutting
timber and sawmilling in Crossville. However, Mother’s
family would move from Crossville to Fayette between her
sophomore and junior years of high school. With her in
another town and Daddy busy logging, they developed other
interests. But as fate would have it, they found their way back
to one another and began seeing each other again. By the time
she graduated from high school, they decided they wanted to
spend the rest of their lives together.
Mother graduated in May of 1951 and they were married
in Columbus, Mississippi, on June 9, 1951. They began their
life together in the Crossville Community. They lived the
first five months of their marriage with Daddy’s sister and her
husband, Wallace and Adine Hall. In November of 1951 they
rented a little house of their own and in 1955 they built their
first home in Crossville. Life was good. Mother went to work
at a manufacturing company in Columbus, Mississippi, and
Daddy came to work there a little later. They both had jobs
working together in this garment plant making $18.75 each a
week. That seemed like a lot of money to them and they had
plenty at all times. In Mother’s words, things were cheap and
they did not need much because they had each other.
A garment plant opened in Vernon and they both left the
factory in Columbus to work closer to home. They continued
working in the garment plant for a few years. Then in 195960 Mother went to work for her Daddy, Lonnie Randolph,
who was the Circuit Clerk of Lamar County. She worked
part-time as the bookkeeper. This eventually turned into a
full-time job and she retired from the clerk’s office thirty-six
years later. Daddy went into the timber and trucking business
working for himself where he worked until he retired at age
sixty-two and their son, Ricky, took over the business. After
he retired, he bought cows and worked bailing hay. When
you have worked so hard all of your life, it is hard to just stop.
He and Mother have taught this work ethic to their children
and grandchildren. Along with that strong work ethic,
Daddy and Mother have also instilled into their children and
grandchildren the importance of saving.
Mother was a member of the Bethel Church of Christ
near Vernon. Daddy was not a member of the church, but
in 1956 he obeyed the gospel. They have attended Bethel
Church their entire married life. Daddy served as a deacon
for several years and still serves as treasurer for the church.
Mother has taught children’s and ladies’ classes over the
years. At age seventy-nine, she still teaches ladies’ class.
They also carried my Grandmother, Pearlie Harrison, to
worship with them and she was baptized. I can remember
her and Mrs. Virtie Collins always riding to services with us.
God has blessed them with two children, Ricky Gene and
Lolita Dawn. Ricky Gene was born in June of 1956. He is
married to Rhonda Christian and they have two children,
Jeff and Amy, and two grandchildren, Luke and Hannah.
Continued on page 16
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 15
Stories of Marriage and Success Continued
Eugene and Peggy Harrison
Continued from page 15
In July of 1963 Lolita Dawn was born. She is married to Kevin Fields
and they have two children, Dawn and Daniel.
Proverbs 17:6 says that “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged.”
For Daddy and Mother this statement is so true because their grands
and great-grands have brought much joy and happiness into their
lives. By the same token, their grandchildren and great-grandchildren
have been very blessed to have such wonderful grandparents who are
so generous with their time and money. They have been involved in
all of their grands’ and great-grands’ lives always supporting them in
their activities.
Daddy and Mother’s greatest challenges have been their health. In
1955, at age twenty-six, Daddy had a bad kidney. He suffered a lot
of pain and the kidney had to be removed. He has lived a normal life
with only one kidney. In 2002 he had open heart surgery and since
then he has had two strokes. He continued to work raising cattle and
bailing hay until 2011 when he had a blood clot and an aneurysm.
He has given up the cows and hay, but still has a garden, takes care
of the bird dogs, and still enjoys bird hunting. Mother has had both
knees and one hip replaced in the last ten years. She experiences
chronic pain in her back from some degenerative disk problems. Even
though she is in pain, she continues to carry on the day-to-day jobs of
running the house, putting up fruits and vegetables from the garden,
and cooking for other people. She would say they have made it
through their health challenges with God’s help, as well as, family and
good friends.
Their advice to those who are planning to marry would be to marry
a Christian whose interests are the same as yours, to always attend
worship services and Bible classes together if possible, to study your
Bible and pray together
daily, and to trust God to
always be with you. They
also advise that the more
things you can do together
in life, the closer you will be
to each other. The last piece
of advice is to say “I love
you” to each other before
you go to sleep at night.
Thank you for letting
me share my Daddy and
Mother’s story with you.
My brother and I have been
blessed with wonderful
Christian parents who
taught us to love the Lord
and put him first in our
lives.
16 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
51
Robert and Susan
Waggoner
Celebrating 51 years
(and more) together
By Robert Waggoner
I
n December, 2011, Susan and I celebrated
fifty years of marriage. Our children and
grandchildren hosted our celebration at
Callaway Gardens in Georgia. Everyone had a
fun time. It was also a time for looking back.
Susan and I met in March, 1961. Two years
previously, I had received a Master of Arts
degree from Harding Graduate School of Bible
and Religion and then began teaching speech
and Bible at Michigan Christian Junior College
in Rochester, Michigan. At the time we met,
Susan had completed an Associate of Arts degree
from Freed-Hardeman College but was then
living at home in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and
continuing her higher education at Western
Michigan University, working toward a Bachelor
of Science degree in elementary education.
The preacher at the church where she
worshipped in Kalamazoo wanted to leave as
soon as possible, but a replacement preacher
could not come until late summer. I was invited
to preach for the church during the interim. I
therefore drove from Rochester to Kalamazoo
each week-end (300 miles round trip) for a
couple of months until the end of the academic
year and then moved to Kalamazoo for the
months of June and July until the new preacher could
arrive in August. That’s when and where I met Susan.
Susan was the prettiest young lady in the congregation.
However, I didn’t dare seek a date with her until after
completing my work with the church. I had previously
observed that whenever a young single preacher looks
closely at a young single lady in the congregation, tongues
sometimes wag inappropriately. When my tenure at the
church was over, on a summer Sunday evening after the
church had given me a going-away present, people stood
around outside the building and we all said our goodbyes.
Then just before leaving I opened the passenger-side of the
car door. Susan got in and we drove off together for our first
date. You should have seen their faces!
Susan’s father was an elder in the church. Her father
and mother were much loved by everyone. Everyone
(including children) was invited to our church wedding.
In this congregation no one had ever invited everyone
to their wedding ceremony before. They were delighted.
The wedding was performed a week before Christmas by
Lucien Palmer, the academic dean at Michigan Christian
College. The college chorus sang at our wedding. In order
to accommodate our wedding schedule, fall classes were
dismissed a day before the end of the term. Since the choral
director served as my best man in the wedding ceremony,
the chorus was directed by a choral student, Wayne Baker.
During the Christmas holiday season, Susan and I
enjoyed being together. However, Susan was still a student
at Western Michigan University and was scheduled to do
her practice teaching in Kalamazoo the very next school
term. Therefore, she continued to live with her family in
Kalamazoo and I continued to live and teach in Rochester.
She came to Rochester every Friday afternoon and we spent
Saturdays and Sundays together. I preached at a church in
the Detroit area every Sunday. On Sunday afternoons she
boarded the train back to Kalamazoo. When her winter
school term in Kalamazoo was over, we were able to be
together in Rochester every day and night. Hooray!
In Rochester, Susan taught third grade in the public
school system for a year while I continued teaching at
Michigan Christian College. However, in order for me
to continue teaching at the college I needed to obtain
another advanced graduate degree. The next year we moved
to Nashville, Tennessee, where I attended Vanderbilt
University for two years and preached at a congregation in
the area.
Our son, Clark, was born in Tennessee on the very day
of our second wedding anniversary. The following summer,
Susan and Clark went back to Kalamazoo to live with her
parents for six weeks because Susan needed to complete
another course at Western Michigan University in order to
complete her Bachelor of Science degree. When I finished
my Master of Divinity degree program at Vanderbilt, we
moved back to Rochester where I continued to teach Bible
and related courses. A couple of years later, our daughter,
Anita, was born in Pontiac, Michigan. During our
children’s preschool years, Susan was a substitute public
school teacher. She then taught another year full-time in
the Rochester Public School system.
I taught at Michigan Christian College for a total
of fifteen years, but when the school underwent some
administrative changes, we decided to do mission work
under the oversight of the Cox Blvd congregation in
Sheffield, Alabama. We moved to Monrovia, the capitol
city of Liberia in West Africa, where I preached and also
taught Bible classes in a local private high school. I also
preached in surrounding African villages, sometimes for
a week at a time, staying in mud huts with the natives.
During our stay in Africa, Susan taught in a private
American school for one year. We had intended to stay in
Africa for at least five years but visa problems beyond our
control meant that we stayed a few months less than two
years.
In Liberia we experienced culture shock, i.e., not
knowing how to act and react in cultural situations
that were strange to us. In time, however, we made
adjustments. Upon our return from Liberia, we
experienced counter culture shock as we observed that
moral conditions within the United States had deteriorated
within just two years. We relocated to Dallas, Texas, where
for a year I taught at Preston Road School of Preaching.
After that, our lives were devoted to full-time preaching
work, first at Salt Lake City, Utah where I preached for six
years and then in Selma, Alabama, where I preached at the
Houston Park congregation, beginning in late November
of 1983.
After moving to Utah, I discovered the philosophical
ideology of secular humanism and became increasingly
aware that it was having a devastating impact upon
individuals, Christian families, churches, and the nation.
Then, after preaching for several years in Selma, I
resigned from pulpit preaching to research that subject
more thoroughly, to write and publish articles and edit a
monthly journal, and to conduct church seminars with
the hopes of educating brethren about secular humanism.
However, I was ultimately forced to abandon that effort
because although it provided a little income, it was not
Continued on page 18
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 17
Stories of Marriage and Success Continued
Robert and Susan Waggoner
Continued from page 17
nearly enough to meet our financial needs. During this
time, Susan provided most of our income by teaching fulltime in Selma at Meadowview Christian School. During
this time, Susan’s widowed mother came to live with us for
more than a decade before she died.
Although we continued to live in Selma for nineteen
years, I began in the summer of 1992 to teach in the
Turner School of Theology at Amridge University. A
few years later, while continuing to teach at Amridge, I
began additional graduate studies, via extension courses
in Montgomery, from Erskine Theological Seminary. In
1999, at the age of sixty-seven, I completed the Doctor of
Ministry degree. While living in Selma, I also made one
or two short-term overseas mission trips every year until
I had major heart surgery in 2001. Susan and I moved to
Montgomery in July of 2002. I’ve taught at Amridge now
for twenty years.
Except for when we went to Africa, Susan and I have
always intended to stay wherever we were for the rest of
our lives. When we married, we did not anticipate so many
unexpected twists and turns in our lives. We’ve lived in
large cities and in small towns. Moving has its difficulties
and disadvantages, especially to children. It requires leaving
old friends and making new ones. It requires moving
out of comfort zones and facing uncertainties. However,
18 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
living in various places can also provide enrichment and
better opportunities for life and service. Horizons and
understandings can be expanded. Everywhere we have
lived, we have always wanted to serve the Lord the best
we can. Susan has always been involved in local church
activities. She has generally focused on teaching children’s
Bible classes in local church settings, having started at her
home congregation when she was thirteen years old.
Susan and I were both raised by godly parents. Our
parents were never what most Americans would consider
wealthy. Work and thriftiness were instilled within us. I
married at the age of thirty. Susan was nearly a decade
younger. Early in our marriage I was impressed by her
goodness and compassion. Together we worked to pay
off college debts, acquire hand-me-down furniture from
Good Will and Salvation Army stores, continue our
education, and then have children. Susan is frugal, has
a servant’s heart and excellent practical judgment. She
brought companionship and joy into the life of this
lonely bachelor.
We have tried to instill Christian values into our
children. Each of our three grandchildren have two
complete sets of living grandparents, each of which
has now been married for more than fifty years. In our
unstable culture, loving and long marriages provide a
sense of stability and security for our children and our
grandchildren that, sadly, many others of their generation
are unable to experience.
Our lives have not been perfect. Still, God has blessed
us greatly and in many ways. Among those blessings is
that of being able to live among and associate with godly
people. In our future here on earth, for however long that
may be, we aspire to be models of Christian character
and to help smooth the pathways of others.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Robert and Susan Waggoner were
awarded this year’s Tower of Strength Marriage Award.
The Waggoner’s were recognized during the Friends For
Faulkner Luncheon at Faulkner University’s Annual Bible
Lectureship program on March 5, 2013.
Roiki and Sherry Phillips
50 Years – The Reward of Commitment
By Brent Missildine, their son-in-law
O
n September 3, 2012, Roiki and
Sherry Phillips celebrated their
50th wedding anniversary with
a reception given by their daughters, Lisa
Missildine and Beth Pratt. The occasion was
held at the fellowship hall of the Gulf Breeze
Church of Christ where Roiki serves as an
elder. The rest of the family who gathered
to celebrate with them included son-inlaw, Brent Missildine, who serves as the
minister for the Prattville Church of Christ
in Prattville, Alabama, and son-in-law, Vic
Pratt, who serves as a deacon at the same
congregation. Their four granddaughters,
Laura Norris and her husband, Josh, Sarah
Missildine, Sherry Pratt, and Becky Pratt, also
helped serve and honored their grandparents.
All of these young people are faithful
Christians who are committed to passing the
faith of the Lord Jesus Christ down to the
next generation. Of all the blessings Roiki and
Sherry have to be grateful for, this one is the
most precious to them.
Their story began in 1961 in their
hometown, Gadsden, Alabama when Sherry
and her friend were going door-to-door selling
light bulbs as a fundraiser for the high school
band. They happened to knock on the door
of Roiki’s friend while Roiki happened to be
there visiting. Sherry’s friend knew Roiki’s
friend, but Sherry and Roiki did not know
each other. They did not even speak to each
other at that time, but Sherry made such an
impression on Roiki that he found out her
phone number and called her and asked her
out. He thought her name was “Rhinestone,”
but he found out later it was “Rhinesmith.”
He says the “rhinestone” turned out to be a
diamond! A romance began and grew over
the next few months. Roiki realized how
attached he was to her when she went away
for a while during the summer for band
camp. When she returned, he suggested it
was time to get married so they didn’t have
to be apart again. This would not be well
received by her parents, since she had just
started her senior year of high school. So
they eloped, crossing over the Georgia line
Continued on page 20
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 19
Stories of Marriage and Success Continued
Roiki and Sherry
Phillips
Continued from page 19
to find a justice of the peace who was
known for accommodating couples in
their situation. Their parents reluctantly
accepted what was done and they began
their married lives together. Nine
months later, their first daughter, Lisa,
arrived. Roiki, now responsible for a
family, worked hard to provide for his
wife and daughter. Nineteen months
later, their second daughter, Beth, made
it a family of four.
Roiki had trained to be a machinist,
and used his skills to further the NASA
Space Program in Huntsville. He
worked for Boeing in the research and
development area making prototypes of
various parts of the rockets that would
go to the moon. This was exciting
work, and he enjoyed the opportunity
to be a part of history. But after the
moon landing, the space program
downsized greatly, requiring Boeing to
lay off many of their workers. Knowing
that layoffs were coming, Roiki began
looking for another job. He heard that
Westinghouse in Pensacola was hiring
machinists and he was hired at the plant
there. This required the family to move
away from north Alabama, but they were
excited about living near the beach and
the beauty of the water. Roiki worked
there for over 25 years before having to
take a disability retirement due to his
severe back problems. Sherry also found
herself being very successful working as a
legal secretary, then with Civil Service in
a computer networking position, rising to
the level of GS 13 by the time she retired.
For a while, their story is not a fairytale romance. Because they came from
different religious backgrounds, their
arguments about where to go to church
resulted in not attending anywhere.
During this time, without a church
connection, worldly priorities and habits
drew them further away from God. After
suddenly losing his beloved mother who
died of a heart attack at age 49, Roiki’s
drinking became more and more of a
problem. Times got bad, and on more
than one occasion, it appeared their
marriage might not survive. It was hard
on Sherry. It was hard on the children.
When Lisa was about twelve years old,
she had developed a great spiritual
hunger and begged them to go to
church. Roiki tells of the time when his
daughter pleaded, “Why won’t you take
me to church? Don’t you want me to
go to heaven?” This was a turning point
for them. They began attending the
Bellview Church of Christ, and it wasn’t
long before Lisa was baptized. Not long
after, Beth also was baptized. But Roiki
still struggled. During this time, a very
painful incident helped Roiki see the
seriousness of his alcohol problem and
he decided to seek help to overcome his
addiction. After an in-patient alcohol
rehab program, he made and stayed
faithful to a commitment never to drink
again. He realized that his life could only
get better with the help of God and he
determined to be faithful to Him and to
his family. In time, Roiki was restored
to the church and Sherry was baptized
that same day. At this point, their family
was united in Christ. There were many
consequences to face and many hurdles
20 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
to overcome, but he was determined to
make his change permanent, and Sherry
was faithful to stand with him. His
daughters loved him and wanted him to be
the man they knew in their hearts he could
be. He has never taken another drink since
then, and that has now been over 35 years.
Time began to show how the power
of God can change a life. He eventually
became a deacon at the Warrington
Church of Christ and served faithfully in
that position for several years. During
that time, Lisa met and began dating
their preacher’s younger brother, me. Lisa
and I both went to Faulkner University
and married in 1983, and Lisa became a
preacher’s wife. Beth met a fine young
Navy officer who was stationed there
and was attending church at Warrington,
and they married in 1985. Both couples
continued to be faithful in the church and
each blessed Roiki and Sherry with two
granddaughters who call them Granny
and Gramps. Their growing-up years
are filled with memories of tickle times
with Gramps and shopping trips with
Granny. They will remember going
out on Pensacola Bay on their boat and
playing on the back side of the island
on the beach in the sun and the sand.
They will remember Gramps’ heartfelt
prayers at the dinner table that humbly
expressed his appreciation for the Lord
and for his family. But they will not
remember anything about his former
failings, because he stayed true to his
commitment to keep them in the past.
His commitment has been rewarded.
In 1989, Roiki and Sherry moved
over the bridge to Gulf Breeze and began
attending the Gulf Breeze Church of
Christ. He became a deacon there also,
and in 1992 was asked to serve as an
elder. He has now served that church for
over twenty years in that position, and
many people can attest to how much
he and Sherry have blessed their lives
by their love and encouragement. They
have welcomed people to live in their
home when they needed a place to stay
for a while. They have helped people
in financial need. They have served as
surrogate parents to those who did not
have strong families. They have been an
example of faithfulness to their children
and grandchildren. Those who did not
know about their “bad times” would
never imagine where this couple had
been at one time. But their experiences
have helped them relate to others having
similar struggles to give them hope that
things can change. Roiki and Sherry
tell people, “If what we went through
can help someone be inspired to keep
going, then it was all worth it.” Their
commitment has been rewarded.
Their trials were not over, however.
Health problems have been a constant
source of struggle as Roiki has endured
numerous back surgeries, heart surgery,
and now diabetes. He regularly deals
with a lot of pain. Sherry has to help
him a great deal due to his limitations of
movement and endurance. But she has
shown faithfulness and devotion to him
and caring for his needs. He also stood
as a source of strength to her during a
battle with breast cancer a few years ago.
By God’s grace, she is now cancer free!
CLOVERDALE
MEMORIALS
She retired early to care for her mother
who was a complete invalid, taking her
into their home for three years, showing
what it means to “honor your father and
mother.” Again, their commitment has
been rewarded.
As Roiki and Sherry stood behind
their 50th Anniversary cake, with their
children and grandchildren around them,
their church family showing gratitude
for their service, their many longtime
friends there from great distances, God’s
power was clearly shown in what He has
done in their lives. They have shown
the beauty of what it means to say, “…
in sickness and in health, for better
or worse, till death do us part.” Only
eternity will fully reveal the extent of the
influence of their lives and the endurance
of their marriage. When that day comes,
they will see in the fullest way how their
commitment has been rewarded! God
bless you, Roiki and Sherry!
MEMORIAL/HONOR GIFT
In Loving Memory
I would like to make a special contribution to Faulkner University
through The Cloverdale Center for Family Strengths.
Jim Fryer
p In Memory of _______________________________________
From William and Glenda Williams
p In Living Honor of ___________________________________
Jimmy Allen
From Phyllis Allen
NAME _______________________________________________
A Donation In Appreciation
PLEASE SEND NOTIFICATION TO THE FOLLOWING:
From LaRue Hix
EDITOR’S NOTE: Each year we receive
memorials and honorariums from individuals
who wish to honor their friends and relatives by
supporting the mission of The Cloverdale Center
for Family Strengths. We sincerely appreciate each
gift. To give a memorial or honorarium, please
cut out this form and mail it to us at:
The Cloverdale Center for Family Strengths
Faulkner University
5345 Atlanta Highway
Montgomery, AL 36109
Phone: (334) 386-7232
NAME_______________________________________________________
STREET________________________________________________________
CITY____________________________STATE ______ ZIP_______________
THIS GIFT IS FROM:
NAME_______________________________________________________
STREET____________________________________________________
CITY____________________________STATE ______ ZIP_______________
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 21
By Nancy Itson
Recipes from a Church Secretary
T
he recipes for this edition of Our Families Magazine
were contributed by Virginia McCrory. Virginia
(Thomley) McCrory and her husband, C.H.
McCrory, attended Alabama Christian College in 1955.
I enjoyed getting to know Virginia over the phone as we
talked about her recipes and other activities she is involved
in. Virginia has been a church secretary for over 10 years
for the Central Church of Christ in Andalusia, Alabama.
She and C.H. have three children, five grandchildren and
two great-grandchildren.
Besides cooking as a favorite hobby, Virginia enjoys church
work and visiting the nursing home. Virginia loves cooking so
much that she has recently taken on a craft project of “cooking
up” handmade cookbooks for newlyweds. The cookbooks are
“mixed” together by hand with special touches in each one,
and then the pages are carefully “stirred” into a notebook.
This handmade gift includes several of Virginia’s yummy
recipes and a little of her loving heart is “poured” into each
one for these new couples. What a special gift and a great idea.
These recipes are some favorites for her personal family and
her church family.
Virginia likes to cook this recipe at church for Sunday
dinners. She says she cooks it on high during the Bible school
hour and on low during the worship hour and it is hot and
ready to eat when worship is over. For the football players
she makes this recipe three times using the bigger crock-pots.
Virginia wished she knew how many crock-pots of this she has
made over the years.
I appreciate Virginia sharing her recipes and the very special
craft project with me. I hope I can visit “Nana” in Andalusia
sometime and get to sample some of her favorite recipes.
22 / Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013
Nana’s Cake with
Chocolate Icing
(A Family Favorite)
Cake
1 box powdered sugar
3 sticks real butter or you can use 2 sticks
real butter and 1 stick margarine
6 eggs
3 cups plain flour
1 tablespoon vanilla
Cream powdered sugar and butter real
well. Add 6 eggs, one at a time, beating
real well. Add flour, beating well, and
vanilla. Makes 4 layers, 1 ½ cups each.
Grease and flour pans. Bake at 325
degrees for 25 minutes. Frost with the
chocolate icing recipe below.
Nana’s Chocolate Icing
4 cups sugar
6 tablespoons cocoa
2 sticks real butter only
1 large can Pet Milk
1 tablespoon vanilla flavoring
Mix all ingredients except vanilla in
a heavy Dutch oven. Turn stove to
medium-high and when it starts to
bubble set the timer for three minutes.
Stir often. When the timer goes off, add
vanilla. Set aside to cool and reset timer
for 12 minutes. Stir some while it cools
then frost between each layer and then
the entire cake. Easy and delicious.
Strawberry Cake
Cake
1 box yellow cake mix
3 eggs
2/3 cup cooking oil
5 tablespoons plain flour
½ cup water
1 family-size box strawberry Jello
frozen strawberries - use 2/3 for the
cake and the other 1/3 for the icing
Mix all of the ingredients, saving
some of the strawberries and juice
for the icing. Bake cake in 3 pans
lined with wax paper, greased and
floured. Bake at 325 degrees for 30
minutes or until a toothpick comes
out clean. Cool.
Icing
Saved juice & strawberries
1 stick margarine
1 box powdered sugar
Mix these ingredients together,
adding the juice slowly as needed.
Spread the frosting between each
cake layer and then over the
entire cake.
Nana’s Spaghetti Sauce
for the McCrory Family
Crock Pot Macaroni
and Cheese
6 pounds hamburger meat, browned
and drained
1, 29 oz. can tomato sauce, plus ½ can
of water
1, 15 oz. can tomato sauce (no water)
1, 15 oz. can tomato paste, plus ½ can
of water
2 bell peppers, cut in chunks
2 large onions, cut in chunks
¼ cup catsup
1 teaspoon garlic powder, plus ½ more
teaspoon if needed
1 ½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon pepper
3 tablespoons Tabasco Sauce, plus 1 ½
teaspoon more
12 oz elbow macaroni, cook as directed
on package & drain.
Combine all ingredients in a heavy
Dutch oven, bring to a boil and heat
thoroughly. Turn on low and cook
2 ½ to 3 hours.
Virginia adds a note here that she cut
the onion and bell pepper in chunks
because her kids did not want those
ingredients in the sauce and she
could take them out easily before
serving.
In your crock-pot:
Place 1 pound Velveeta Cheese cut
up in pieces. Add 1 stick butter cut
up in pieces. Pour hot macaroni over
the cut up cheese and margarine
pieces. Add 3 ½ cups milk (Virginia
uses 1 large can Pet Milk and then
finishes measuring for the 3 ½ cups
using regular milk.) Add 1 teaspoon
salt. Sprinkle with black pepper.
Cook in crock-pot for one hour on
high. Stir. Cook in crock-pot for
one more hour on low. Ready to eat.
Do you have a favorite family
recipe? We would love to
hear about it! Send in your
recipe with a letter describing
any special meanings or
memories about your
recipe to:
Recipe Corner,
c/o Our Families Magazine
5345 Atlanta Highway
Montgomery, AL 36109
or by email to nitson@
faulkner.edu.
Our Families Magazine / SPRING/SUMMER 2013 / 23
Presorted Std.
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Permit #456
Montgomery, AL
Cloverdale Center for Family Strengths
5345 Atlanta Highway
Montgomery, AL 36109
Proverbs 8:27-29
I was there when he set the heavens in place,
when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,
when he established the clouds above and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,
when he gave the sea its boundary so the waters would not overstep his command,
and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.