(If you can, try to make the first sentence interesting) In The Joy Luck Club, all four
daughters and the mothers share common characteristics. Not only do they experience similar
incidences(word choice, try using a different word) in their lives, but the mothers and the
daughters also begin to understand each other better as each short story about the pair of the
daughter and the mother moves on. Yet, one pair that stands out the most among the four pairs is
Lena and Ying-Ying St. Clair. Although Lena and Ying-Ying are from different generations and
have spent most of their lifetime in different countries, the way that they view the world is quasiidentical. Hence, despite the differences that Lena and Ying-Ying St. Clair have, it is true that
Lena is the “American Translation” of her mother, Ying-Ying. (What is the thesis? If the last two
sentences are the thesis, go more in depth. Give the reader an idea of what you’re going to be
talking about. You mention that Ying Ying and Lena share common characteristics, yet in your
thesis(?) sentence, you state “despite the differences that Lena and Ying Ying have...”)
There is no doubt that Lena is an American version of Ying-Ying St. Clair. Although they
are from have different backgrounds, the way that they perceive the world is always cynical and
negative. For instance, in “The Voice from the Wall”, Lena clearly shows the common
characteristic that she shares with her mother, Ying-Ying. (What characteristic do they share?
State first, then use quotes to support your idea) “Then I heard scraping sounds, slamming,
pushing and shouts and then whack! whack! whack! Someone was killing. Some was being
killed” (Tan 114). By looking at the descriptions of Lena’s imagination, it is clearly shown
(repetition, use a different word) that Lean Lena has an abnormal way of seeing the world or
events. Instead of imagining a girl fighting with her mother, Lena thinks of a murder. Although
this thought might seem reasonable considering the tension in her neighbor’s house, Lena always
thinks in a pejorative way. (Almost all of your sentences start off with: although, despite, not
only, yet... They’re all contrasting)
Similar to Lena, Ying-Ying is also extremely cynical towards the world and this can be
found in “The Voice from the Wall”, which talks about Lena’s childhood. When Lena crosses the
street with her mother, she talks about how Ying-Ying sees “danger in everything, even in other
Chinese people” (108). Also, when an Italian man makes fun of her by pretending to be YingYing’s lover, Ying-Ying reacts to this quite extraordinarily. (Don’t just state what happened in the
novel, try to go more in depth. Analyze) “As soon as we got home from grocery shopping, she
began to put the cans and vegetables away. And then, as if something were not quite right, she
removed the cans from one shelf and switched them with the cans on another. Next, she walked
briskly into the living room and moved a large round mirror from the wall facing the front door
to a wall by the sofa” (111-112). Ying-Ying’s overreactions (reaction) to the incidence (situation)
with the Italian man shows that she always reacts to and thinks of every event as harmful and
deleterious. Therefore, by comparing Lena’s imagination and Ying-Ying’s overreactions
(reaction) to this event, it is obvious (don’t say: it is clearly shown, it clearly shows, it is
obvious) that they are similar to each other and Lena is an American translation of Ying-Ying.
Not only is the way that they react to certain events similar, but these two ladies are both
born in the year of the Tiger and this common characteristic (being born in the year of the tiger
isn’t really a characteristic) relates to their expression of love. (Maybe you can research a little
bit more what the year of the Tiger signifies) In “The Voice from the Wall”, Lena talks about how
Ying-Ying is depressed because of her second son, who is born without a brain. (How does this
relate to ‘their expression of love?’ State your idea, explain why, then support your idea with
evidence. Also, try to find quotes from a different chapter) At first, Lena feels bad about her
mother because Ying-Ying mentally suffers (suffers mentally) due to her tragic past and the loss
of her second son. (Just say due to her tragic past. The loss of her son is part of her tragic past)
Then, Lena hears the voice from the wall and imagines how her neighbor has the worst life.
However, after witnessing the truth of her neighbor, Lena realizes that things aren’t necessarily
as bad as they are when people experience the worst events that can possibly happen in their
lives. Then, Lena imagines herself slashing Ying-Ying with a knife to help her overcome her
deep sorrow. “Then a girl pulled out a sharp sword and told her mother,... then “Then you must
die the death of a thousand cuts. It is the only way to save you...The mother nodded: now “Now I
have perfect understanding. I have already experienced the worst. After this, there is no worst
possible thing”...And the girl grabbed her mother’s hand and pulled her through the
wall” (120,121). (This whole paragraph doesn’t explain why they share the common
characteristic and their expression of love. Basically, this paragraph is a summary of the chapter)
(Maybe as your first sentence, mention how Ying-Ying and Lena are alike and then say
Ying-Ying tries to help Lena...) Alike her, Ying-Ying tries to help Lena by forcing her to loose
her tiger spirit when Ying-Ying witnesses Lena’s unhappy marriage. By mentioning the nature of
tigers, she talks about how making her experience the worst pain is the best method to help her
overcome her current sadness. “I will hold the pain in my hand until it becomes hard and shiny,
more clear. And then my fierceness can come back, my golden side, my black side, I will use this
sharp pain to penetrate my daughter’s tough skin and cut her tiger spirit loose. She will fight me,
because this is the nature of two tigers. But I will win and give her my spirit, because this is the
way a mother loves her daughter” (286). When Ying-Ying is hurt, Lena tries to help her by
giving pain. Then, Ying-Ying does the exact same thing to make Lena become a stronger woman.
Although their expressions of love to each other might seem ridiculous, it is clear that they both
have common way of revealing their love. (This paragraph should be in the same paragraph as
the previous one because it explains their love to each other)
Despite the several distinctions between Lena and Ying-Ying, it is an indubitable truth
that Lena is clearly an American translation of her mother. Furthermore, these two characters
prove that daughters can never be different from their mothers in spite of the differences in their
generations or cultures. Thus, daughters should always respect their mothers no matter what
happens. (How does being similar and respecting their mothers relate?)