SSaam
mpplleess ooff tthhee W
Wrriittiinngg ooff T
Teenntthh G
Grraaddeerrss
A
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KIISSSS G
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maarr SSttaattiissttiiccaall R
Reesseeaarrcchh D
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Booookk
For the overall project of which this is a part, see the “Introduction” to Statistical Studies
of Natural Syntactic Development: An On-going KISS Project. For the analytical codes, see “The
‘Style Machine’ and its Codes.”
© Ed Vavra, February 2015
Massachusetts’ 2010 Writing Samples ........................................................4
Introduction .................................................................................................................................. 4
Writing Prompt for Topic/Idea Development .............................................................................. 4
Scoring Guide for Topic/Idea Development ................................................................................ 5
S01 – Topic/Idea Score 6 (a) ........................................................................................ 5
Score Point 6 (a) ....................................................................................................... 8
S01 – Statistical Analysis ......................................................................................... 9
S02 – Topic/Idea Score 6 (b) ..................................................................................... 10
Score Point 6 (b) ..................................................................................................... 13
S02 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 13
S03 – Topic/Idea 5 ..................................................................................................... 15
Score Point 5 ........................................................................................................... 16
S03 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 17
S04 – 4........................................................................................................................ 18
Score Point 4 ........................................................................................................... 20
S04 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 20
S05 – 3........................................................................................................................ 22
Score Point 3 ........................................................................................................... 22
S05 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 23
S06 – 2........................................................................................................................ 24
Score Point 2 ........................................................................................................... 24
S06 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 24
S07 – 1........................................................................................................................ 25
Score Point 1 ........................................................................................................... 25
S07 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 25
Scoring Guide for Standard English Conventions ..................................................................... 25
S08 – Conventions 4 .................................................................................................. 26
Conventions, Score Point 4 ..................................................................................... 27
S08 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 27
S09 – Conventions 3 .................................................................................................. 28
Conventions, Score Point 3 ..................................................................................... 29
S09 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 30
S10 – Conventions 2 .................................................................................................. 31
Conventions, Score Point 2 ..................................................................................... 32
2
S10 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 32
S11 – Conventions 1 .................................................................................................. 33
Conventions, Score Point 1 ..................................................................................... 34
S11 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 34
Responses to Questions about Reading and Literature .............................................................. 34
Question 9: Open Response ....................................................................................................... 35
Scoring Guide and Sample Student Work.................................................................................. 35
S12 – Question 9, Score 4(a) ...................................................................................... 35
Question 9, Score 4 (a) ........................................................................................... 36
S12 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 36
S13 – Question 9, Score 4(b) ..................................................................................... 37
Question 9, Score 4 (b) ........................................................................................... 38
S13 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 38
S14 – Question 9, Score 3 .......................................................................................... 38
Question 9, Score 3 ................................................................................................. 39
S14 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 39
S15 – Question 9, Score 2 .......................................................................................... 39
Question 9, Score 2 ................................................................................................. 40
S15 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 40
S16 – Question 9, Score 1 .......................................................................................... 40
Question 9, Score 1 ................................................................................................. 41
S16 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 41
S17 – Question 9, Score 0 .......................................................................................... 41
Question 9, Score 0 ................................................................................................. 41
S17 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 41
Question 18 ................................................................................................................................ 41
Scoring Guide............................................................................................................................. 43
S18 – Question 18, Score 4(a) .................................................................................... 43
Question 18, Score 4 ............................................................................................... 44
S18 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 44
S19 – Question 18, Score 4(b) ................................................................................... 45
Question 18, Score 4 ............................................................................................... 45
S19 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 45
S20 – Question 18, Score 3 ........................................................................................ 46
Question 18, Score 3 ............................................................................................... 46
S20 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 47
S21 – Question 18, Score 2 ........................................................................................ 47
Question 18, Score 2 ............................................................................................... 47
S21 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 48
S22 – Question 18, Score 1 ........................................................................................ 48
Question 18, Score 1 ............................................................................................... 48
S22 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 48
S23 – Question 18, Score 0 ........................................................................................ 49
Question 18, Score 0 ............................................................................................... 49
S23 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 49
3
Question 27: Reading and Literature.......................................................................................... 49
Scoring Guide............................................................................................................................. 49
S24 – Question 27, Score 4(a) .................................................................................... 50
Question 27, Score 4 ............................................................................................... 51
S24 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 51
S25 – Question 27, Score 4(b) ................................................................................... 52
Question 27, Score 4 ............................................................................................... 52
S25 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 53
S26 – Question 27, Score 3 ........................................................................................ 53
Question 27, Score 3 ............................................................................................... 54
S26 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 54
S27 – Question 27, Score 2 ........................................................................................ 55
Question 27, Score 2 ............................................................................................... 55
S27 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 55
S28 – Question 27, Score 1 ........................................................................................ 55
Question 27, Score 1 ............................................................................................... 56
S28 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 56
S29 – Question 27, Score 0 ........................................................................................ 56
Question 27, Score 0 ............................................................................................... 56
S29 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 56
Question 36: Reading and Literature.......................................................................................... 56
Scoring Guide............................................................................................................................. 57
S30 – Question 36, Score 4(a).................................................................................... 57
Question 36, Score 4 ............................................................................................... 58
S30 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 58
S31 – Question 36, Score 4(b) ................................................................................... 59
Question 36, Score 4 ............................................................................................... 60
S31 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 60
S32 – Question 36, Score 3 ........................................................................................ 61
Question 36, Score 3 ............................................................................................... 61
S32 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 61
S33 – Question 36, Score 2 ........................................................................................ 62
Question 36, Score 2 ............................................................................................... 62
S33 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 62
S34 – Question 36, Score 1 ........................................................................................ 62
Question 36, Score 1 ............................................................................................... 63
S34 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 63
S35 – Question 36, Score 0 ........................................................................................ 63
Question 36, Score 0 ............................................................................................... 63
S35 – Statistical Analysis ....................................................................................... 63
4
M
Maassssaacchhuusseettttss’’ 22001100 W
Wrriittiinngg SSaam
mpplleess
[Unedited Samples of Students' Writing]
Introduction
These samples are used with the permission of the Massachusetts Department of
Elementary and Secondary Education. That permission does not imply endorsement of the KISS
Approach to teaching grammar. Links to these documents are at
http://www.doe.mass.edu/mcas/student/2010/question.aspx?GradeID=10&SubjectCode=ela&Questi
onID=10827. (February 12, 2015) Because the samples are all on different web pages, I have
collected them in an MSWord document.
Writing Prompt for Topic/Idea Development
Often in works of literature, a character’s life is affected by a single act or mistake. From
a work of literature you have read in or out of school, select a character whose life is affected by
a single act or mistake. In a well-developed composition, identify the character, describe how he
or she is affected by a single act or mistake, and explain how the character’s experience relates to
the work as a whole.
5
Scoring Guide for Topic/Idea Development
Description
Score
6



Rich topic/idea development
Careful and/or subtle organization
Effective/rich use of language
5




Full topic/idea development
Logical organization
Strong details
Appropriate use of language
4



Moderate topic/idea development and organization
Adequate, relevant details
Some variety in language
3



Rudimentary topic/idea development and/or organization
Basic supporting details
Simplistic language
2


Limited or weak topic/idea development, organization, and/or details
Limited awareness of audience and/or task
1


Little topic/idea development, organization, and/or details
Little or no awareness of audience and/or task
SS0011 –– T
Tooppiicc//IIddeeaa SSccoorree 66 ((aa))
The first 509 were analyzed. [1253]
Sometimes a single mistake can ruin one’s life, leading to social isolation, physical
adversity or poverty, or even the loss of a loved one. However, this mistake often has a silver
lining, some glimmer of joy or hope lying in the wreckage of one’s former life. In the 19th
century novel The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, which takes place in the 17th century,
Hester Prynne is a young married woman who has emigrated from England to the Puritan
settlement of Boston, where she is awaiting the arrival of her unattractive, decrepit husband.
However, Hester, overcome with passion and a desire for gratification, commits adultery and
becomes pregnant, a fatal folly in the Puritan community that destroys her reputation. Because of
this act of carnal degeneration, as her Puritan contemporaries would call it, the community forces
Hester to wear a scarlet letter “A” which is sewn to her bosom, branding her as an adultress. Due
6
to her fall from grace, Hester must suffer ignoring in her community and endure the hardship of
providing for herself and her daughter without aid, yet Hester’s act of passion created her
beautiful daughter Pearl who is both a burden and her only treasure in a life which, in her view,
would otherwise not be worth living.
As a repercussion of her sinful act, the Puritan community views Hester as an immoral,
wanton vixen, and they constantly remind her of this fact. The more wholesome women of the
community detest Hester, voicing their belief that she should be put to death and calling her
every possible word synonymous with slattern. Everywhere she looks, Hester is unable to find
the solace she desperately seeks. Even when she attempts to go to church and find peace in the
minister’s sermon, she discovers the homily is describing how she exemplifies the degeneration
and immorality of women. The members of the community even try to take Pearl away from
Hester because they believe Pearl is not receiving proper Christian erudition, and Hester is
ruining her. Only through a plea given by a minister (Pearl’s secret father and Hester’s paramor)
on Hester’s behalf are the Puritan leaders convinced to allow Pearl to remain in Hester’s custody.
However, Hester is able to somewhat overcome her disgrace and to secure a position as an
industrious and important member of the community through her great talent in embroidery.
Hester begins selling her beautiful garments to even the community’s most distinguished
members. Hester, whom the community had called a hussy, could now be seen beside the death
bed of an illustrious minister because of the importance of her duty of making his funeral gown.
Hawthorne uses Hester to demonstrate how, through one’s talent, one can bring oneself out of
the depths of despair and disgrace to a place as a well-respected member of the community.
Due to her ignoming, Hester moves to a hovel on the outskirts of the settlement in order
to escape to cruel, judgmental gaze of society, and there she lives with Pearl in social isolation
and destitution at first. Under normal circumstances, women in Puritan communities did not need
to worry about financial matters because their families or their husbands would take care of
them. However, in Hester’s case, she has neither family nor friends to aid her, so she must
provide for both herself and Pearl. Thus, Hester begins to sell her embroidery for profit and
manages to carve out a decent life on the edge of society. She even accrues enough money to
give charity to the poor (even though these people spit at her because they still view her as a
wicked woman). Through Hester, Hawthorne, who is writing in the late 19th century, exemplifies
7
the capitalist and humanist ideal. Through her enterprise, Hester transforms from an
impoverished single mother into a middle-class American, which expresses the capitalist ideal of
rags-to-riches. This feat is even more impressive considering Hester is a woman because the idea
of a woman creating her own business would have been unheard of in a Puritan settlement.
Hawthorne also portrays Hester as rejecting the reliance on the community in order to survive.
Hester, a true humanist, uses her own talents in embroidery to escape the grasp of poverty, and
she even seems to reject to community’s religious beliefs in her worthlessness as an adultress in
order to keep her will to survive alive. Hawthorne portrays Hester as a female capitalist and
humanist who is able to overcome poverty through her ingenuity, which possibly demonstrates
the feminist movement taking place in Hawthorne’s era.
Through her illicit love affair, Hester produces her greatest pain and her greatest joy, her
daughter Pearl. Pearl herself is a beautiful yet capricious, hyperactive, and incorrigible girl who
sometimes seems to be the bane of Hester’s existence. Even when Hester is fighting to keep and
protect Pearl, Pearl seems to be working against her. When the community attempts to take Pearl
away from Hester, she decides to make an appeal to the governor at his mansion home. Once
there, a minister decides to find out if Pearl is receiving a good Christian education and asks her
who made her (the correct answer, according to him, being God). However, because she always
decides to be obnoxious at the most inopportune times, Pearl spews some heathen nonsense
about being born from a rose bush, much to the minister’s dismay. Even though Peal causes
Hester so much trouble, Hester still loves her unconditionally because she is her only treasure,
the only good thing to come from her adulterous act. Peal is also the only thing that stands in the
way of Hester giving up on life or giving in to evil. After the governor decides to allow Hester to
keep Pearl, both of them are exiting the mansion when Mistress Hiblos, a woman who is later
executed as a witch, calls out to Hester. She invites Hester to a witch meeting in the forest so that
she may sell her soul to the devil. Hester, however, refuses, saying that she must take care of
Peal and that if they had taken away her Pearl, she would have gladly gone to the meeting. The
relationship between Hester and Peal allows Hawthorne to exhibit how the bond between loved
ones can overcome any adversity. Hester can continue to survive and endure as long as she has
Pearl. Even though Pearl is irritating, Hester’s motherly love allows her to see past Pearl’s flaws.
Hester can overcome any adversity as long as she has Pearl to give her the hope to endure.
8
In this novel, Hester’s entire life is changed due to the mistake of allowing her passion to
overwhelm her conscience. In return for this fleeting moment of satisfaction, Hester suffers
ignoming, poverty, and difficulties of caring for an erratic child. However, Hester’s personal
strength, ingenuity, and motherly love allow her to overcome such adversity. She is able to
become a respected and useful member of society through her talent and perserverance. Her
skills and independence allow her to make enough money to care for herself and Pearl. However,
the greatest product of Hester’s love affair is her daughter Pearl, a glimmering pearl in the ashes
of her former life. Pearl is the only reason Hester is able to find the will to survive and to endure
destitution and disgrace in society. In the tradition of capitalism and humanism, Hester
demonstrates belief in herself so that she may provide for herself and Pearl, the only thing worth
living for.
Score Point 6 (a)
This richly developed composition creates an insightful analysis of Hester Prynne from
The Scarlet Letter, whose life is affected by a “single mistake.” In the introduction, Hester’s
transgression against the norms of her society is described as “a fatal folly in the Puritan
community,” a “fall from grace” for which she “must suffer hardship.” Yet the introduction ends
with the juxtaposition of this “ignominy” against the reward of “[creating] her beautiful daughter
Pearl,” a contrast the author carries throughout the rest of the composition. In the body
paragraphs, rich supporting details, such as “Even when she attempts to go to church…she
discovers the homily is describing how she exemplifies the degeneration and immorality of
women,” express the complex dynamic of Hester’s fall from grace and ultimate triumph within a
hostile community. Her ability to thrive despite harsh circumstances is a triumph of the human
spirit, an idea expressed in sophisticated commentary on how Hawthorne’s world view shaped
the character. This is shown in the third paragraph: “Through Hester, Hawthorne…exemplifies
the capitalist and humanist ideal…Hawthorne…portrays Hester as rejecting the reliance on the
community in order to survive.” In the fourth paragraph, the composition comes full circle,
revisiting the idea introduced earlier through the use of rich analysis of Hawthorne’s purpose in
detailing Pearl’s importance to Hester’s life: “The relationship between Hester and Pearl allows
Hawthorne to exhibit how the bond between loved ones can overcome any adversity.” Incisive
9
character analysis with specific, carefully chosen details and relevant commentary on authorial
intent mesh seamlessly throughout the essay. Organization is subtle and purposeful without
relying on a typical formula. Smooth transitions between paragraphs carefully link ideas together
without jarring the reader. Use of language is effective and rich, as illustrated by the ending
which expresses a reiteration of Hester’s love for her daughter, shown metaphorically as “a
glimmering pearl in the ashes of her former life.”
S01 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Sometimes a single mistake can ruin one's life, leading*GiveR16 {to social isolation,
physical adversity or poverty, or even the loss {of a loved one.}} \-\However, this mistake often
has a silver lining, some glimmer#App14 {of joy or hope} lying*GiveR08 {in the wreckage {of
one's former life.}} \-\{In the 19th century novel} The Scarlet Letter#App06 {by Nathaniel
Hawthorne,} [LAJFwhich takes place {in the 17th century,}] Hester Prynne is a young married
woman [RAJFwho has emigrated {from England} {to the Puritan settlement {of Boston,}}
[RAJFwhere she is awaiting the arrival {of her unattractive, decrepit husband.}]] \-\However,
Hester, overcome#PPA08 {with passion and a desire {for gratification,}} commits adultery and
becomes=CV pregnant, a fatal folly#App11 {in the Puritan community} [RAJFthat destroys her
reputation.] \-\{Because of this act {of carnal degeneration,}} [LINJas her Puritan
contemporaries would call it,] the community forces Hester to wear*INFDO18 a scarlet letter
"A"#App01 [RAJFwhich is sewn=PV {to her bosom,} branding*GiveR05 her {as an adultress.}]
\-\{Due to her fall {from grace,}} Hester must suffer ignoring {in her community} and
endure=CV the hardship {of providing*GerOP08 {for herself and her daughter} {without aid,}}
\C\yet Hester's act {of passion} created her beautiful daughter Pearl#App01 [RAJFwho is both a
burden and her only treasure=CC {in a life} [RAJFwhich, {in her view,} would otherwise not be
worth living.*GerNu01]]
\-\{As a repercussion {of her sinful act,}} the Puritan community views Hester {as an
immoral, wanton vixen,} \C\and they constantly remind her {of this fact.} \-\The more
wholesome women {of the community} detest Hester, voicing*GiveR10 their belief [RAJFthat
she should be=PV put {to death}] and calling*GiveR09 her every possible word
synonymous#PPA03 {with slattern.} \-\Everywhere [LAJFshe looks,] Hester is unable to
10
find*INFAV07 the solace [RAJFshe desperately seeks.] \-\Even [LAVFwhen she attempts to
go*INFDO04 {to church} and find*INFDO07 peace {in the minister's sermon,}] she discovers
[RNDOthe homily is describing [RNDOhow she exemplifies the degeneration and
immorality=CC {of women.}]] \-\The members {of the community} even try to take*INFDO06
Pearl away {from Hester} [RAVFbecause they believe [RNDOPearl is not receiving proper
Christian erudition,] and [RNDOHester is ruining her.]] \-\Only {through a plea} given#AOP15
{by a minister} (Pearl's secret father#App03 and Hester's paramor)#App03 {on Hester's behalf}
are the Puritan leaders convinced=PV to#RCM08 allow*INFDO08 Pearl to remain*INFDO06
{in Hester's custody.} \-\However, Hester is able to somewhat overcome*INFAV05 her disgrace
and to secure*INFAV20 a position {as an industrious and important member {of the
community}} {through her great talent {in embroidery.}} \-\Hester begins selling*GerDO11 her
beautiful garments {to even the community's most distinguished members.} \-\Hester,
[MAJFwhom the community had called=PV a#RCM02 hussy,] could now be seen=PV {beside
the death bed {of an illustrious minister}} {because of the importance {of her duty}} {of
making*GerOP04 his funeral gown.} \-\Hawthorne uses Hester to demonstrate*INFAV28
[RNDOhow, {through one's talent,} one can bring oneself {out of the depths {of despair and
disgrace}} {to a place} {as a well-respected member {of the community.}}]
\-\{Due to her ignoming,} Hester moves {to a hovel} {on the outskirts {of the
settlement}} {in order to escape*INFAJ08 to cruel, judgmental gaze {of society,}} \C\and there
she lives {with Pearl} {in social isolation and destitution} {at first.}
SS0022 –– T
Tooppiicc//IIddeeaa SSccoorree 66 ((bb))
1069 [517 analyzed]
In many works of literature, a single act or mistake often brings about a character’s
downfall. Such is the case of Victor Frankenstein, the main character of Frankenstein, by Mary
Shelly. Victor’s creation of an artificial life form effectively turned his life entirely around, and
exemplified the book’s themes of isolation, discovery, and responsibility.
Victor, as a young college student, intensively studied the natural sciences of the ancients
he had been obsessed with as a child. In his attempt to go beyond them and other humans in the
field of science, he worked almost without rest to create a monstrosity. The act of creating this
11
life and of fleeing from it in terror of its appearance led to terrible consequences in Victor’s
lifetime. For example, the natural sciences that he had so ardently admired and left his happy
family for in the pursuit of them became the bane of his existence. His horror at the grotesque
features he himself had implanted upon his monster made him so sick that he could not gaze at
his chemistry tools without going mad. Thus, even though he had shown much brilliance and
promise in that field and had impressed nearly all of his science professors, he was forced to give
up his life’s work and dreams in order to continue living in relative peace.
Despite his efforts, Victor could not escape the responsibility he had incurred by creating
the monster, which only threw his life into further despair. By abandoning the monster, he
allowed it to face the world by himself and all its cruelty towards so ugly a being. The agony of
loneliness drove the once peaceful monster into a murderous rage, and he traveled to Victor’s
home in Geneva with the desire that his creator, who had left him to suffer, ought to be punished.
There, he proceeded to murder Victor’s family one by one, beginning with Victor’s little brother,
William. At this point in time, Victor had finally realized that the one thing left that he wished to
live for was his family and friends back in Geneva. His family, despite his lack of
communication, was still concerned about him, and he felt it was only proper to return to them, if
only to escape from his guilt. Thus, when he heard of William’s murder and rushed back home to
investigate, he was devastated to figure out that the monster was the one who had murdered his
brother. Later, unable to compromise with the monster, the monster murdered Victor’s best
friend, his wife, and from the shock, his father. The despair Victor felt when his last way to be
happy was demolished by his own work truly ended his old way of life. He no longer attempted
to return to a normal life, as his future and the one place he used to find acceptance and peace
were gone. Instead, he dedicated his life for revenge against the monster, finally using his life to
take responsibility for his actions.
These experiences not only changed the way Victor lived his life, but how he viewed life
as well. Before, his life was centered around himself; any attempts to rid his life of the monster
were initially done to preserve his own peace, since he thought no on else would be effected. For
example, when the monster declared that he was going to appear on Victor’s wedding night,
Victor thought he would be the only one hurt, so while he took a weapon and wandered about
that night, his wife was left by herself. As a result, when the monster came to murder his wife,
12
Victor couldn’t save her in time. It was only after such events that he realized that he must take
some course of action in order to prevent other such tragedies from happening. His willingness to
tell the ship captain, Walton, about his experiences showed how his world expanded to include
other people and their futures; his decisions no longer served for self-satisfaction, but for the
preservation of those around him as well. By telling Walton his story, he could he could help
ensure that others would not follow the same path he did and suffer for it. Also, his life changed
from one that strove for self-elevation to one that was devoted to destroying what his old
ambition has spawned; in a sense, his later part of life was dedicated to returning himself back
into a man of human society by performing his moral duties rather than to putting himself above
it. Lastly, at the end of the book, when he had done all his body could do to chase the monster,
he accepted his death happily. This was a final example showing how he had once created life to
go beyond the boundaries of nature, and how he changed to a man who had accepted his place in
life and was willing to go with the flow of nature.
Victor’s discoveries in science and its involvement in his tremendous responsibility and
isolation also related to the work as a whole. Victor’s distance from humans other than his close
friends and family was a direct result from his inability to face the eyes of those who might have
been harmed by the abomination he had created or who would abhor him for his inhumane
studies. The crushing burden of the lives that have been lost thanks to his work, and the lives of
those whom he did not know but needed to protect against the same fate also caused his life to be
a pit of despair. As the root cause of all this, the monster must be destroyed by its creator, Victor,
and even though this was the proper way to finish things, the arduous journey to that goal
involved much suffering and in the end was for naught. These pains showed a warning the book
had emphasized throughout the story: as wondrous as the ability to bring about new life
unnaturally may seem, going beyond what nature dictated could only mean destruction, and one
must take responsibility for it.
Victor Frankenstein’s life altered dramatically upon crating the monster. Not only was he
plunged into personal isolation due to guilt over the destruction his monster caused, but he
eventually lost everything he had once lived for. The course his life and beliefs took reflect upon
his responsibility, isolation, and discovery that arose from his experiences.
13
Score Point 6 (b)
The writer analyzes the motives and actions of Victor Frankenstein in this richly
developed and carefully organized composition. The brief opening paragraph identifies Victor
Frankenstein’s “mistake” as creating “an artificial life form,” an act which “turned his life
entirely around.” This character’s destructive self-interest is revealed in his need to “go beyond”
“the natural sciences of the ancients,” a flaw that will inevitably lead to his choice of social
isolation and an inability to imagine the consequences of his actions. Victor Frankenstein’s
discoveries are revealed as scientific and personal, horrific and redeeming, points that the writer
weaves into the analysis. Creation of the monster is a perversion of talent, a talent which once
“had impressed nearly all of his science professors.” The horrible consequences of creating the
monster force the character to realize the gravity of his mistake, prompting his decision to use
“his life to take responsibility for his actions.” But Victor’s “mistake” is an offense against
nature that cannot be reversed: “the arduous journey to that goal involved much suffering and in
the end was for naught.” As evident throughout, the writer’s effective use of language supports
clear expression of complex ideas. This six-paragraph essay is organized around the “themes of
isolation, discovery and responsibility” that were introduced in the first paragraph. Rather than
devoting a paragraph to each theme, the author skillfully and subtly weaves each of them
throughout the rest of the composition through the use of carefully chosen details from the novel.
S02 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In many works {of literature,}} a single act or mistake=CS often brings about a
character's downfall. \-\Such is the case {of Victor Frankenstein,} the main character#App08 {of
Frankenstein, {by Mary Shelly.}} \-\Victor's creation {of an artificial life form} effectively
turned his life entirely around, and exemplified=CV the book's themes {of isolation, discovery,
and responsibility.}
\-\Victor, {as a young college student,} intensively studied the natural sciences {of the
ancients} [RAJFhe had been obsessed=PV with {as a child.}] \-\{In his attempt} to go*INFAJ12
{beyond them and other humans} {in the field {of science,}} he worked almost {without rest} to
create*INFAV04 a monstrosity. \-\The act {of creating*GerOP03 this life} and {of
fleeing*GerOP08 {from it}} {in terror {of its appearance}} led {to terrible consequences} {in
14
Victor's lifetime.} \-\{For example,} the natural sciences [MAJFthat he had so ardently admired
and left=CV his happy family for {in the pursuit {of them}}] became the bane {of his
existence.} \-\His horror {at the grotesque features} [MAJFhe himself#App01 had implanted
{upon his monster}] made him*INFDE15 so sick [RAVFthat he could not gaze {at his chemistry
tools} {without going*GerOP02 mad.}] \-\Thus, [LAVFeven though he had shown much
brilliance and promise=CC {in that field} and had impressed=CV nearly all {of his science
professors,}] he was forced=PV to#RCM08 give*INFDO08 up his life's work and dreams {in
order to continue*INFAJ06 living*GerDO04 {in relative peace.}}
\-\{Despite his efforts,} Victor could not escape the responsibility [RAJFhe had incurred
{by creating*GerOP03 the monster,} [RAJFwhich only threw his life {into further despair.}]] \\{By abandoning*GerOP03 the monster,} he allowed it to face*INFDO16 the world {by
himself} and all its cruelty {towards so ugly a being.} \-\The agony {of loneliness} drove the
once peaceful monster {into a murderous rage,} \C\and he traveled {to Victor's home {in
Geneva}} {with the desire} [RAJFthat his creator, [MAJFwho had left him to*INFDO03 suffer,]
ought to be=PV punished.] \-\There, he proceeded to murder*INFDO07 Victor's family
one#NuA03 {by one,} beginning*GiveR06 {with Victor's little brother, William.#App01} \-\{At
this point {in time,}} Victor had finally realized [RNDOthat the one thing left*GiveR01
[MAJFthat he wished to*INFDO03 live for] was his family and friends=CC back {in Geneva.}]
\-\His family, {despite his lack {of communication,}} was still concerned {about him,} \C\and
he felt [RAVFit was only proper to return*INFDS04 {to them,} [RAVRif only to
escape*INFPN05 {from his guilt.}]] \-\Thus, [LAVFwhen he heard {of William's murder} and
rushed=CV back home#NuA01 to*INFAV02 investigate,] he was devastated=PV to
figure*INFDS14 out [RNDOthat the monster was the one [RAJFwho had murdered his
brother.]] \-\Later, unable to compromise*INFAV05 {with the monster,} the monster murdered
Victor's best friend, his wife,=CC and {from the shock,} his father.=CC \-\The despair
[MAJFVictor felt [MAVFwhen his last way to be*INFAJ03 happy was demolished=PV {by his
own work}]] truly ended his old way {of life.} \-\He no longer attempted to return*INFDO06 {to
a normal life,} [RAVFas his future and the one place=CS [MAJFhe used to find acceptance
and=CC peace] were gone.] \-\Instead, he dedicated his life {for revenge {against the monster,}}
finally using*GiveR10 his life to take*INFAV06 responsibility {for his actions.}
15
\-\These experiences not only changed the way [RAJFVictor lived his life,] but=CC
[RNDOhow he viewed life as well.]
SS0033 –– T
Tooppiicc//IIddeeaa SSccoorree 55
770 [503 analyzed]
[Note the 3 “s,”s not preceded by an apostrophe. For the statistical
study I have put them in so the separated “s” does not count as an additional word.]
In many works of literature, a single act or mistake affects a character’s entire life,
whether changing it for better or for worse. One such work is To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper
Lee. This fictional tale is set in Maycomb, Alabama in the 1930s, when the Jim Crow Laws, a set
of guidelines regarding interactions between blacks and whites, were still in place. In To Kill A
Mockingbird, Tom Robinson, an African-American field hand, makes a single mistake that
greatly affects both his life and the novel as a whole.
In To Kill A Mockingbird, Robinson is portrayed as a kind and noble man. He constantly
tries to help his neighbors with chores and other jobs, even though he is disabled, having gotten
his left arm stuck in a cotton gin years before. As an African-American, Robinson is looked
down upon by his racist community. Like other African-Americans, he is viewed as inferior to
white people, and forced to live in a part of Maycomb that is separate from the white community.
He works as a field hand for a white man, and attends church regularly with his children and
wife, Helen. Although not considered equal to his white neighbors, Robinson enjoys a happy life
in Maycomb until a single mistake destroys the life he built.
Robinson makes one crucial mistake during the course of the novel, and it affects his life
greatly. Being the kind of man that he is, Robinson offers to help Mayella Ewell, a young white
woman, with her chores. Although it seems like a kind idea, this single act ruins Robinson s life.
Mayella brings Robinson into her house and begins to kiss him. Mayella then becomes ashamed
of her actions because, at that time, relationships between whites and blacks were seen as
disgusting and morally wrong, and she begins to fear the consequences of her actions. She
accuses Robinson of raping her, and he is brought to trial. Atticus Finch, the moral compass of
Maycomb and the father of main characters Scout and Jem, serves as Robinson’s lawyer. He
proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Robinson would be unable to rape or beat Mayella due
to his crippled arm, but Mayella’s father and other white men testify against Robinson. In front
16
of a biased jury, Robinson is convicted and sent to prison. After only a few weeks in prison,
Robinson is shot nearly twenty times and dies while trying to escape. In trying to help a neighbor
with her chores, Robinson is sentenced to a life in prison, then killed.
Robinson s mistake of helping Mayella with her chores also affects the novel as a whole.
The trial steals away the innocence and childhood of Scout and Jem, who watch the trial from the
courthouse balcony with the African-American community. It exposes the children to the cruelty
and injustice of the world in which they live. The trial also helps to develop the character of
Atticus Finch as someone who is brimming with honor and integrity. Atticus accepts the case
and tries his best to prove Robinson’s innocence, despite the threats he recieves from his racist,
white neighbors. Most importantly, Robinson’s mistake contributes to the symbolism that is
portrayed in the novel. This symbol is that of the mockingbird, which Atticus teaches Scout not
to kill because it only tries to do good in the world, making beautiful sounds for all to enjoy, and
poses no threat to anybody. Robinson is portrayed as the mockingbird in To Kill a Mockingbird
because, in trying to help his white neighbor, Robinson is accused of rape, sent to prison, and
killed. Although he has benevolent intentions and means the people of Maycomb no harm,
Robinson is murdered by the racist society in which he lives. Through character development
and the symbol of the mockingbird, Robinson s mistake affects the entire novel of To Kill a
Mockingbird.
Like many other characters in works of literature, Robinson makes a single mistake that
affects his entire life. After offering to help Mayella Ewell with her chores, Robinson is accused
of rape, convicted by an unjust jury, brought into prison, and shot nearly twenty times. This
mistake affects not only Robinson’s life by the novel as a whole, taking away the innocence and
childhood of Jem and Scout, developing Atticus’ character as one with integrity and courage, and
creating the symbol of the mockingbird. Without the character of Tom Robinson and his tragic
mistake, To Kill A Mockingbird would be a very different novel, as would many other works of
literature if these characters were removed from them.
Score Point 5
This fully developed composition follows the plot of the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.
Supporting details are logically organized to form a clear account of the tragic consequences of a
17
character’s “act or mistake.” The introduction presents a brief description of the novel’s setting:
a racially segregated community where “an African-American field hand…makes a single
mistake that greatly affects both his life and the novel as a whole.” In the second paragraph, the
writer describes the virtues of Tom Robinson: He is “a kind and noble man” who “constantly
tries to help his neighbors.” Here, the writer contrasts the character’s benign nature with that of
“his racist community” which will “[destroy] the life he built.” The broader consequences of
injustice are developed in the fourth paragraph, where Scout and Jem are seen to lose their
childhood innocence as they are exposed to the “cruelty and injustice of the world in which they
live.” The writer’s explanation of the symbol of the mockingbird adds clarity to this deepening
understanding. The author uses strong, specific details from the novel to support his/her main
points, though organization is marred by repetition of some of these details, such as in the
conclusion and first/last sentences of some of the paragraphs. Overall, use of language is
appropriate to the task of communicating relatively complex ideas.
S03 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In many works {of literature,}} a single act or mistake=CS affects a character's entire
life, [RAVRwhether changing it {for better} or {for worse.}] \-\One such work is To Kill A
Mockingbird {by Harper Lee.} \-\This fictional tale is set=PV {in Maycomb, Alabama} {in the
1930s,} [RAVFwhen the Jim Crow Laws, a set#App10 {of guidelines regarding*GiveR06
interactions {between blacks and whites,}} were still {in place.}] \-\{In To Kill A Mockingbird,}
Tom Robinson, an African-American field hand,#App04 makes a single mistake [RAJFthat
greatly affects both his life and the novel=CC {as a whole.}]
\-\{In To Kill A Mockingbird,} Robinson is portrayed=PV {as a kind and noble man.} \\He constantly tries to help*INFDO09 his neighbors {with chores and other jobs,} [RAVFeven
though he is disabled,=PV having gotten*GiveR12 his left arm stuck#ADO10 {in a cotton gin}
years#NuA02 before.] \-\{As an African-American,} Robinson is looked=PV down upon {by his
racist community.} \-\{Like other African-Americans,} he is viewed=PV {as inferior {to white
people,}} and forced=PV to#RCM14 live*INFDO14 {in a part {of Maycomb}} [RAJFthat is
separate {from the white community.}] \-\He works {as a field hand} {for a white man,} and
attends=CV church regularly {with his children and wife, Helen.#App01} \-\[LAVRAlthough
18
not considered=PV equal#RCM01 {to his white neighbors,}] Robinson enjoys a happy life {in
Maycomb} [RAVFuntil a single mistake destroys the life [RAJFhe built.]]
\-\Robinson makes one crucial mistake {during the course {of the novel,}} \C\and it
affects his life greatly. \-\Being*GiveL08 the kind {of man} [RAJFthat he is,] Robinson offers to
help*INFDO11 Mayella Ewell, a young white woman,#App04 {with her chores.} \\[LAVFAlthough it seems {like a kind idea,}] this single act ruins Robinson's life. \-\Mayella
brings Robinson {into her house} and begins=CV to kiss*INFDO03 him. \-\Mayella then
becomes ashamed {of her actions} [RAVFbecause, {at that time,} relationships {between whites
and blacks} were seen=PV as disgusting#RCM02 and morally wrong,#RCM03] \C\and she
begins to fear*INFDO07 the consequences {of her actions.} \-\She accuses Robinson {of
raping*GerOP02 her,} \C\and he is brought=PV {to trial.} \-\Atticus Finch, the moral
compass#App05 {of Maycomb} and the father#App09 {of main characters} Scout#App01 and
Jem,#App02 serves {as Robinson's lawyer.} \-\He proves, {beyond a shadow {of a doubt,}}
[RNDOthat Robinson would be unable to rape*INFAV02 or beat*INFAV03 Mayella {due to his
crippled arm,}] \C\but Mayella's father and other white men=CS testify {against Robinson.} \\{In front {of a biased jury,}} Robinson is convicted=PV and sent=PV {to prison.} \-\{After
only a few weeks {in prison,}} Robinson is shot=PV nearly twenty times#NuA03 and dies=CV
[RAVRwhile trying to*INFDO02 escape.] \-\{In trying*GerOP08 to help*INFDO07 a neighbor
{with her chores,}} Robinson is sentenced=PV {to a life {in prison,}} then=CV killed.=PV
\-\Robinson's mistake {of helping*GerOP05 Mayella {with her chores}} also affects the
novel {as a whole.} \-\The trial steals away the innocence and childhood=CC {of Scout and
Jem,} [RAJFwho watch the trial {from the courthouse balcony} {with the African-American
community.}] \-\It exposes the children {to the cruelty and injustice {of the world}} [RAJF{in
which} they live.] \-\The trial also helps to develop*INFDO16 the character {of Atticus Finch}
{as someone} [RAJFwho is brimming {with honor and integrity.}]
SS0044 –– T
Tooppiicc//IIddeeaa SSccoorree 44
589 [500]
Often in works of literature, a character’s life is affected by a single act or mistake. This
event could either be small and subtle, or large and obvious. In the novel “Dreamland” by Sarah
19
Dessen, this occurs with the main character, Caitlin. Caitlin’s whole way of life and her
personality changes because of this.
At the very beginning of the novel, it is Caitlin’s birthday. She finds that her sister, who
has just graduated from high school and is expected to attend Yale, has run off with her boy
friend. Because of her sister’s sudden absence, Caitlin and her family begin to change. She has
spent her life seemingly following behind her sister, so this provides a chance for her to do things
on her own. At first these things are small, but eventually she finds that she is an entirely
different person.
Caitlin, after much debate, is convinced to audition for cheerleading with her best friend.
A main reason being, it is something that her sister would never do. Surprisingly she is rather
good at it, and she makes the team. She’s not exactly thrilled to be on the team, but now she has
something to do that is all her own. When her mother hears of her acceptance on the team, she
begins to be happy again. Now her mother can throw herself into Caitlin’s life, much like she did
with her sister’s.
Because she’s now a cheerleader, Caitlin begins to go to parties and other events that the
rest of the girls go to. At one party, her best friend has planned for her to meet one of the football
players. This is typical and perhaps expected of a cheerleader to do. However, Caitlin meets
another boy and is faced with a dilemma. She could either do what is expected of her and stay
with the person her best friend has picked out, or she could leave the party with the stranger. As
an act of sheer curiosity, Caitlin makes the latter choice. This is possibly the most striking and
important event to occur. Every choice Caitlin makes after this point mostly revolves around this
new character. He makes her forget about the problems she has at home with her sister’s recent
absence. Although, he also slowly brings her to change both her views on certain things and
herself completely.
Later in the novel, she finds herself in an abusive relationship with the boy she met at the
party. Caitlin has also begun smoking, and her cheer leading becomes a second priority. She
becomes obsessed with trying to keep her boyfriend happy. She spends all of her time with him,
and eventually isolates herself from everyone else. This all goes back to her sister’s leaving.
Because Caitlin felt she had to become her own person now that her sister had left, she became a
person that she wouldn’t normally choose to be.
20
Only in the end of the novel does her family find out about Caitlin’s issues. She is sent
away for help and is eventually restored to the person we meet at the beginning of the novel. She
overcomes this hardship and ventures back home. Her sister returns to visit for the first time
when Caitlin returns home. Caitlin’s whole life was affected just by one choice she made,
influenced by other events in this story. A character can make any choice or mistake that they
won’t think will matter later, but more often than not, it is this choice that can change absolutely
everything.
Score Point 4
This composition is a moderately developed account of how several acts and mistakes
affect the main character of the novel, Dreamland. In the opening paragraph, the writer offers
general, brief commentary on the nature of an “act or mistake” which “could either be small and
subtle, or large and obvious.” This idea is carried through the composition as Caitlin’s life is
affected by her own (and others’) acts and mistakes. The writing is organized chronologically,
following the plot of the novel. Caitlin’s relationship with her sister is described first: Her sister
leaves for college and, as a result, “Caitlin and her family begin to change. She has spent her life
seemingly following behind her sister, so this provides a chance for her to do things on her own.”
Driven to “become her own person now that her sister had left, she became a person that she
wouldn’t normally choose to be.” The composition’s central idea is clear, as the writer states that
Caitlin’s choice to “leave the party with the stranger” is the most significant act, yet it is “one
choice she made, influenced by other events in this story.” Though the writer chooses and
develops relevant details, some readers may still wonder which “act or mistake” is the most
important.
S04 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Often {in works {of literature,}} a character's life is affected=PV {by a single act or
mistake.} \-\This event could either be small and subtle,=CC or large=CC and obvious.=CC \\{In the novel “Dreamland”#App01 {by Sarah Dessen,}} this occurs {with the main character,}
Caitlin.#App01 \-\Caitlin's whole way {of life} and her personality=CS changes=SV {because of
this.}
21
\-\{At the very beginning {of the novel,}} it is Caitlin's birthday. \-\She finds [RNDOthat
her sister, [MAJFwho has just graduated {from high school} and is=CV expected=PV
to#RCM03 attend*INFDO03 Yale,] has run off {with her boy friend.}] \-\{Because of her
sister's sudden absence,} Caitlin and her family=CS begin to change.*INFDO02 \-\She has spent
her life seemingly following*GerNu05 {behind her sister,} [RAVFso this provides a chance {for
her to do*INFOP07 things {on her own.}}] \-\{At first} these things are small, \C\but eventually
she finds [RNDOthat she is an entirely different person.]
\-\Caitlin, {after much debate,} is convinced=PV to#RCM08 audition*INFDO08 {for
cheerleading*GerOP01} {with her best friend.} \-\A main reason#AAv04 being, it is something
[RAJFthat her sister would never do.] \-\Surprisingly she is rather good {at it,} \C\and she makes
the team. \-\She's not exactly thrilled=PV to#RCM05 be*INFDO05 {on the team,} \C\but now
she has something to do*INFAJ02 [RAJFthat is all her own.] \-\[LAVFWhen her mother hears
{of her acceptance {on the team,}}] she begins to be*INFDO04 happy again. \-\Now her mother
can throw herself {into Caitlin's life,} much [RAVFlike she did {with her sister's.}]
\-\[LAVFBecause she's now a cheerleader,] Caitlin begins to go*INFDO15 {to parties
and other events} [RAJFthat the rest {of the girls} go to.] \-\{At one party,} her best friend has
planned {for her to meet*INFOP08 one {of the football players.}} \-\This is typical and perhaps
expected=CV=PV {of a cheerleader} to#RCM02 do.*INFDO02 \-\However, Caitlin meets
another boy and=CV is faced=PV {with a dilemma.} \-\She could either do [RNDOwhat is
expected=PV {of her}] and stay=CV {with the person} [RAJFher best friend has picked out,]
\C\or she could leave the party {with the stranger.} \-\{As an act {of sheer curiosity,}} Caitlin
makes the latter choice. \-\This is possibly the most striking and important event to
occur.*INFAJ02 \-\Every choice [MAJFCaitlin makes {after this point}] mostly revolves
{around this new character.} \-\He makes her forget*INFDO14 {about the problems} [RAJFshe
has {at home}] {with her sister's recent absence.} \-\Although, he also slowly brings her to
change*INFDO12 both her views {on certain things} and herself completely.
\-\Later {in the novel,} she finds herself {in an abusive relationship {with the boy}}
[RAJFshe met {at the party.}] \-\Caitlin has also begun smoking,*GerDO01 \C\and her cheer
leading becomes a second priority. \-\She becomes obsessed=PV {with trying*GerOP06 to
keep*INFDO05 her boyfriend*INFDE03 happy.} \-\She spends all {of her time} {with him,}
22
and eventually isolates=CV herself {from everyone else.} \-\This all goes back {to her sister's
leaving.*GerOP03} \-\[LAVFBecause Caitlin felt [RNDOshe had to become her own person
now [RAVFthat her sister had left,]]] she became a person [RAJFthat she wouldn't normally
choose to*INFDO02 be.]
\-\Only {in the end {of the novel}} does her family find out {about Caitlin's issues.}
SS0055 –– T
Tooppiicc//IIddeeaa SSccoorree 33
253
A character I have read aboat that life was effected by a single act or mistake was Gorge
Zynem from the story titled “The Interlopers.” Gorge is a man who doesn’t like sharing what’s
legally his. He also grew up hunting for his food and for what ever he needed. Gorge has a
dispute with another man over his land and decides to kill the man. As Gorge was hunting for the
man, the man was hunting for Gorge. When they were close enough, about to shoot each other,
lightening struck a tree knocking it down and pinning both men side by side to the ground.
The lightening and the tree is the single act that changed the whole story. It changes both
men’s fate, causes them to let go of their hate and become friends. Gorges experience relates to
the work as a whole because he would have been the killed or the killer if the lightening hadn’t
struck the tree pinning the man and him to the ground.
This single act makes the ironic twist at the end of the story possible. The two men are
now on the ground and friends when they start to hear howling and foot steps. They are
surrounded by hungry wolves and Gorge is bleeding. This ending makes there new friendship
meaningless because now they are going to be eaten alive by wolves. This ending is very ironic
and unexpected.
So if the lightening had never struck the tree none of this would have happened.
Score Point 3
This composition is a rudimentary account of events and meaning in the short story “The
Interlopers.” Relevant plot summary includes a description of “the single act that changed the
whole story,” a chance lightning strike which leads to a starkly ironic conclusion. The writer’s
description of this “ironic twist” is the strong point of the composition, as it adds slightly more
23
detail to what otherwise would be a point-by-point summary of text. The composition concludes
while still in the plot of the story, with little attempt at any deeper analysis. Organization is
rudimentary as it is mostly plot driven. The quality of language is slightly better than simplistic,
as the writing demonstrates occasional use of varied sentence forms.
S05 – Statistical Analysis
\-\A character [MAJFI have read aboat] [MAJFthat life was effected=PV {by a single act
or mistake}] was Gorge Zynem {from the story} titled*GiveR03 “The Interlopers.”#RCM02 \\Gorge is a man [RAJFwho doesn't like sharing*GerDO04 [RNDOwhat's legally his.]] \-\He also
grew up hunting*GerNu10 {for his food} and {for [RNOPwhat ever he needed.]} \-\Gorge has a
dispute {with another man} {over his land} and decides=CV to kill*INFDO04 the man. \\[LAVFAs Gorge was hunting {for the man,}] the man was hunting {for Gorge.} \-\[LAVFWhen
they were close enough, about to shoot*INFAV04 each other,] lightening struck a tree
knocking*GerNu03 it down and pinning*GerNu10 both men side#NuA06 {by side} {to the
ground.}
\-\The lightening and the tree=CS is the single act [RAJFthat changed the whole story.] \\It changes both men's fate, causes=CV them to let go*INFDO07 {of their hate} and
become*INFDO03 friends. \-\Gorges experience relates {to the work} {as a whole}
[RAVFbecause he would have been the killed or the killer=CC [RAVFif the lightening hadn't
struck the tree pinning*GerNu08 the man and him {to the ground.}]]
\-\This single act makes the ironic twist*INFDE10 {at the end {of the story}} possible. \\The two men are now {on the ground} and friends=CC [RAVFwhen they start to
hear*INFDO06 howling*GerDO01 and foot steps.] \-\They are surrounded=PV {by hungry
wolves} \C\and Gorge is bleeding. \-\This ending makes there new friendship*INFDE04
meaningless [RAVFbecause now they are going to be eaten alive {by wolves.}] \-\This ending is
very ironic and unexpected.=CC
\-\So [LAVFif the lightening had never struck the tree] none {of this} would have
happened.
24
SS0066 –– T
Tooppiicc//IIddeeaa SSccoorree 22
121
Odysseys from the Odyssey made the decision to go to war, and as a result his life was
changed. Since he left, suitors went into his house and courted his wife. When he came back
home he had to deal with all of them. So the decision to go to war changes his life at home. It
also affected the journey back. On the way home he lost his ship and his crewmates. He also
angeres Poseidon, the god of the sea, by stabbing his son, Polyphemus, in the eye. He turned the
gods against him because of his hubris, or pride, which they did not like. This caused for a tough
journey home. So his decision inevitably affected his life.
Score Point 2
In this brief and limited composition on The Odyssey, the writer identifies Odysseus’
original “act or mistake” as his “decision to go to war.” Beyond this, other acts and consequences
are listed, offering some support to the idea that the character’s original act was a defining
mistake: “He turned the gods against him…This caused for a tough journey home.” The overall
effect of the writing provides sensible, though weak, organization with a cursory introductory
and concluding sentence bookending a list of plot details. The limited development of supporting
details reveals a limited sense of audience awareness.
S06 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Odysseys {from the Odyssey} made the decision to go*INFAJ04 {to war,} \C\and {as
a result} his life was changed.=PV \-\[LAVFSince he left,] suitors went {into his house} and
courted=CV his wife. \-\[LAVFWhen he came back home#NuA01] he had to deal {with all {of
them.}} \-\So the decision to go*INFAJ04 {to war} changes his life {at home.} \-\It also affected
the journey back. \-\{On the way} home he lost his ship and his crewmates.=CC \-\He also
angeres Poseidon, the god#App05 {of the sea,} {by stabbing*GerOP07 his son,
Polyphemus,#App01 {in the eye.}} \-\He turned the gods {against him} {because of his hubris,
or pride,} [RAJFwhich they did not like.] \-\This caused {for a tough journey home.} \-\So his
decision inevitably affected his life.
25
SS0077 –– T
Tooppiicc//IIddeeaa SSccoorree 11
86
In the book The Catcher in the Rye written by J.D. Salinger Holden screwed up his life in
one mistake. He failed out of porcey his school. Before he leaves he gets in a fight with his
roommate looses goes to a nieghbours room for a while then leaves. He dosen’t go home because
he is to scared to see his parents after they find out. He goes to New York instead of going home.
In conclusion don’t lie stay in school and do your best.
Score Point 1
This minimal account of events in The Catcher in the Rye is little more than a list of
loosely related details. The definitive “mistake” is Holden’s act of failing out of school; this is
clear, as is the conclusion: “don’t lie stay in school and do your best.” The writer demonstrates a
minimal understanding of the task stated in the writing prompt, but very little sense of audience
or task awareness.
S07 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the book} The Catcher#App05 {in the Rye} written*GiveR04 {by J.D. Salinger}
Holden screwed up his life {in one mistake.} \-\He failed {out of porcey his school.} \\[LAVFBefore he leaves] he gets {in a fight} {with his roommate} looses=CV goes=CV {to a
nieghbours room} {for a while} then leaves.=CV \-\He dosen't go home#NuA01 [RAVFbecause
he is to scared=PV to see*INFAV08 his parents [RAVFafter they find out.]] \-\He goes {to New
York} {instead of going*GerOP02 home.#NuA01} \-\{In conclusion} don't lie stay=CV {in
school} and do=CV your best.
Scoring Guide for Standard English Conventions
Score
4
3
Description


Control of sentence structure, grammar and usage, and mechanics
Length and complexity of essay provide opportunity for student to show
control of standard English conventions


Errors do not interfere with communication and/or
Few errors relative to the length of the essay or complexity of sentence
26
structure, grammar and usage, and mechanics
2
1


Errors interefere somewhat with communication and/or
Too many errors relative to the length of the essay or complexity of
sentence structure, grammar and usage, and mechanics


Errors seriously interfere with communication AND
Little control of sentence structure, grammar and usage, and mechanics
SS0088 –– C
Coonnvveennttiioonnss 44
333
Sometimes, a single act can affect one’s entire life. The novel The Adventures of
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain is set on the Mississippi River during the slavery filled era
before the Civil War. During the journey of Huckleberry Finn, a young white boy fleeing an
insane father, and Jim, a runaway slave, downriver, they are confronted by slave-hunters.
Huck lies in order to protect Jim and this act affects him in many ways.
Huck never wants to lie, but he was going to feel guilty no matter what he did. Twain
shows the reader this when describing Huck’s feelings while he is on his way to talk with the
slave-hunters. Huck’s conscience tells him that the morally correct course of action is to
turn Jim in because he is a black fugitive. Conversely, Huck would have felt guilty if he had
told the truth about Jim. He was Huck’s friend and the guilt would have been greater if
Huck had betrayed his companion. The immediate burden of lying, Huck felt, was better
than living with the lingering burden of betrayal. However he rationalized it, he still felt
terribly guilty afterwards.
The moment Huck lied the white men, he committed himself to Jim. The act of
deceiving the slave-hunters made him realize that Jim was more than just a fellow runaway
and travelling companion. Jim was his friend. It required that instinctive urge to protect
Jim for Huck to fully acknowledge this, but he never forgot it. Twain illustrates this for the
reader on several occasions later in the novel by showing Huck often risking his own wellbeing in order to secure Jim’s. Whether it was keeping Jim’s fugitive status secret, or even,
rather elaberately, freeing him from a prison, Huck always protected the friend he now
knew he had.
This even certainly affected Huck. He felt a good deal of immediate guilt, but it
helped build his lasting relationship with Jim. A single act that had a significant impact on
one’s life.
27
Conventions, Score Point 4
This relatively brief but concise composition is complex in content and structure,
providing the writer numerous opportunities to demonstrate control of conventions. Sentences
such as “The immediate burden of lying, Huck felt, was better than living with the lingering
burden of betrayal,” show complexity and variety. Sentences are mostly correct, if sometimes
slightly awkward, showing a writer attempting variety: “Whether it was keeping Jim’s fugitive
status secret, or even, rather elaberately, freeing him from a prison, Huck always protected the
friend he now knew he had.” Effective word choice and correct application of the rules of
grammar add clarity to the writer’s argument. Overall correctness in use of mechanics supports a
smooth flow of ideas.
S08 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Sometimes, a single act can affect one's entire life. \-\The novel The
Adventures#App05 {of Huckleberry Finn} {by Mark Twain} is set=PV {on the Mississippi
River} {during the slavery filled era} {before the Civil War.} \-\{During the journey {of
Huckleberry Finn,}} a young white boy fleeing#ASu08 an insane father, and Jim,=CS a runaway
slave,#App03 downriver, they#App01 are confronted=PV {by slave-hunters.} \-\Huck lies {in
order} to protect*INFAJ03 Jim \C\and this act affects him {in many ways.}
\-\Huck never wants to lie,*INFDO02 \C\but he was going to feel guilty no
matter#AAv05 [RNPNwhat he did.] \-\Twain shows the reader this [RAVRwhen describing
Huck's feelings [RAVFwhile he is {on his way} to talk*INFAV05 {with the slave-hunters.}]] \\Huck's conscience tells him [RNDOthat the morally correct course {of action} is to
turn*INFPN04 Jim in [RAVFbecause he is a black fugitive.]] \-\Conversely, Huck would have
felt guilty [RAVFif he had told the truth {about Jim.}] \-\He was Huck's friend \C\and the guilt
would have been greater [RAVFif Huck had betrayed his companion.] \-\The immediate burden
{of lying,*GerOP01} [MINJHuck felt,] was better {than living*GerOP07} {with the lingering
burden {of betrayal.}} \-\[LAVFHowever he rationalized it,] he still felt terribly guilty
afterwards.
\-\The moment#NuA07 [RAJFHuck lied {the white men,}] he committed himself {to
Jim.} \-\The act {of deceiving*GerOP03 the slave-hunters} made him realize*INFDO14
28
[RNDOthat Jim was more {than just a fellow runaway and travelling companion.}] \-\Jim was
his friend. \-\It required that instinctive urge to protect*INFAJ03 Jim {for Huck} to fully
acknowledge*INFDS07 this, \C\but he never forgot it. \-\Twain illustrates this {for the reader}
{on several occasions} later {in the novel} {by showing*GerOP12 Huck often risking#AOP11
his own well-being} {in order} to secure*INFAJ03 Jim's. \-\[LAVFWhether it was
keeping*GerPN05 Jim's fugitive status*INFDE03 secret, or=CC even, rather elaberately,
freeing*GerPN09 him {from a prison,}] Huck always protected the friend [RAJFhe now knew
[RNDOhe had.]]
\-\This even certainly affected Huck. \-\He felt a good deal {of immediate guilt,} \C\but it
helped build his lasting relationship {with Jim.} \F\A single act [RAJFthat had a significant
impact {on one's life.}]
SS0099 –– C
Coonnvveennttiioonnss 33
598 [516]
In the play “Romeo and Juliet” by William Shakespear, two people fall in love even
though there families are at war with each other. Romeo’s life is affected by an irreversable
decision, and the experience makes the play come together.
Romeo and Juliet live in rival families, who have been fighting for ages. The two meet
one night and fall in love, throughout the play they have little schemes so they can see each
other. But soon Romeo makes a big mistake, and his world is turned upside down. The star
crossed lovers are seperated once again, and they devise a plan so they can get married. There
plan unfolds because of complications of Romeos big mistake. If Romeo didn’t do the dasterdly
deed, then Romeo and Juliet could have gotten married and ran off, living happily, and also
ending the riveraly between the two families.
The big mistake by Romeo affects everyone, and it all occurred like this. Romeo goes off
one day to find his fellow family members and his best friend Mercutio. He stumbles upon them
talking with rivals Tubalt (Juliets cousin) and his family. Soon a duel between Tubalt and
Mercutio takes place, and when it ended Mercutio was dead. Out of rage and frustration Romeo
chases down Tubalt, and makes a huge mistake. Romeo kills Tubalt in revenge for Mercutio.
When the families learn about the deaths of Tubalt and Mercutio, they try to blame Romeo or
29
Tubalt. The prince decides not to kill Romeo, but to banish him from the city. That is the big
mistake that he commits.
Romeo was punished for killing Tubalt by being banished from the city in which he lived
in, this had an affect on everyone. Being banished from the city, wasn’t that bad until Romeo
started to ponder about it. He relizes that the love of his life, Juliet must hate him, because he
killed her beloved cousin Tubalt. Then he relizes that he will never be able to see her again
because he was banished. Romeo didn’t want to let Juliet go, he loved her. So the couple divized
a plan. Juliet was going to pretend to be dead so she could escape the grip of her controlling
parents and Romeo would come after the buriel, and then the two would run off. But
complications rose, Romeo was sent a letter of the plan, but he never recieved it. And so he saw
Juliet “dead,” and couldn’t bare to live without her, so he decided to take his own life. Juliet
woke up and discovered Romeo dead and so she also commited suicide. If Romeo didn’t kill
Tubalt they wouldn’t of had to sneak around and then they never would have made the plan. And
the two would have been alive.
The murder of Tubalt relates to the story because without his death, none of this would
have taken place. Romeo and Juliet were in love, and were going to get married regardless. But if
Tubalt wasn’t killed then Romeo would not have been banished, so they wouldn’t have to sneak
around. The two wouldn’t have died because they didnt need a plan to meet, or have any
altercations to it. The life of Tubalt affects the whole play because without him dying the story of
“Romeo and Juliet” wouldn’t be a tragedy.
The two star crossed lovers tryed to be together, but in the end they had failed. There
lives were affected by the single action that Romeo comitted during the play. Without it, Romeo,
Juliet, Tubalt and Mercutio would still be alive.
Conventions, Score Point 3
This composition includes consistent, noticeable errors in sentence formation, usage, and
mechanics. Though no single error or combination of errors can be said to interfere with
communication, it is clear that a complete control of conventions is not demonstrated. Sentencelevel errors are most noticeable and range from problems with coordination (“If Romeo didn’t do
the dasterdly deed, then Romeo and Juliet could have gotten married and ran off, living happily,
30
and also ending the riveraly between the two families.”) to comma-splices (“Romeo was
punished for killing Tubalt by being banished from the city in which he lived in, this had an
affect on everyone.”). Simple spelling errors such as “divized,” “buriel,” “bare,” and “tried” are
sprinkled throughout the composition, adding another layer to the author’s consistent errors, yet
these errors do not interfere with communication with the reader.
S09 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the play} “Romeo and#App03 Juliet” {by William Shakespear,} two people fall
{in love} [RAVFeven though there families are {at war} {with each other.}] \-\Romeo's life is
affected=PV {by an irreversable decision,} \C\and the experience makes the play
come*INFDO04 together.
\-\Romeo and Juliet=CS live {in rival families,} [RAJFwho have been fighting {for
ages.}] \-\The two meet one night#NuA02 and fall=CV {in love,} \,\{throughout the play} they
have little schemes [RAVFso they can see each other.] \-\But soon Romeo makes a big mistake,
\C\and his world is turned=PV upside down. \-\The star crossed lovers are seperated=PV once
again, \C\and they devise a plan [RAVFso they can get married.] \-\There plan unfolds {because
of complications {of Romeos big mistake.}} \-\[LAVFIf Romeo didn't do the dasterdly deed,]
then Romeo and Juliet=CS could have gotten married and ran=CV off, living*GerNu02 happily,
and also ending*GerNu09 the riveraly {between the two families.}
\-\The big mistake {by Romeo} affects everyone, \C\and it all occurred {like this.} \\Romeo goes off one day to find*INFAV11 his fellow family members and his best friend
Mercutio.#App01 \-\He stumbles {upon them talking#AOP10 {with rivals}} Tubalt#App03
(Juliets cousin)#App02 and his family.#App03 \-\Soon a duel {between Tubalt and Mercutio}
takes place, \C\and [LAVFwhen it ended] Mercutio was dead. \-\{Out of rage and frustration}
Romeo chases down Tubalt, and makes=CV a huge mistake. \-\Romeo kills Tubalt {in revenge
{for Mercutio.}} \-\[LAVFWhen the families learn {about the deaths {of Tubalt and
Mercutio,}}] they try to blame*INFDO05 Romeo or Tubalt. \-\The prince decides not to
kill*INFDO04 Romeo, but=CC to banish*INFDO07 him {from the city.} \-\That is the big
mistake [RAJFthat he commits.]
31
\-\Romeo was punished=PV {for killing*GerOP02 Tubalt} {by being banished*GerOP10
{from the city}} [RAJF{in which} he lived in,] \,\this had an affect {on everyone.} \-\Being
banished*GerSU05 {from the city,} wasn't that bad [RAVFuntil Romeo started to
ponder*INFDO04 {about it.}] \-\He relizes [RNDOthat the love {of his life,} Juliet#App01 must
hate him, [RAVFbecause he killed her beloved cousin Tubalt.#App01]] \-\Then he relizes
[RNDOthat he will never be able to see*INFAV04 her again [RAVFbecause he was
banished.=PV]] \-\Romeo didn't want to let*INFDO04 Juliet go,*INFDO02 \,\he loved her. \-\So
the couple divized a plan. \-\Juliet was going to pretend to be dead*INFDO03 [RAVFso she
could escape the grip {of her controlling parents}] \C\and Romeo would come {after the buriel,}
\C\and then the two would run off. \-\But complications rose, \,\Romeo was sent=PV a letter {of
the plan,} \C\but he never recieved it. \-\And so he saw Juliet “dead,”#ADO02 and couldn't
bare=CV to live*INFDO04 {without her,} [RAVFso he decided to take*INFDO04 his own life.]
\-\Juliet woke up and discovered=CV Romeo dead#ADO02 \C\and so she also commited suicide.
\-\[LAVFIf Romeo didn't kill Tubalt] they wouldn't of had to sneak around \C\and then they
never would have made the plan. \-\And the two would have been alive.
\-\The murder {of Tubalt} relates {to the story} [RAVFbecause {without his death,}
none {of this} would have taken place.] \-\Romeo and Juliet=CS were {in love,} and were=CV
going to get married regardless. \-\But [LAVFif Tubalt wasn't killed=PV] then Romeo would not
have been banished,=PV [RAVFso they wouldn't have to sneak around.]
SS1100 –– C
Coonnvveennttiioonnss 22
263
This single act of the plan crashing in the story Lord of The Flies, changed Ralphs life.
The single act of the plan crash changed Ralph’s life for ever. If the plan had never had
crashed in the pacific. Ralph and all the boy’s would be at home with their familys, injoying a
nice home cooked meal, and not have to worry about anything. This single act also unforcinably
takes a couple of young boys life’s along the way.
Ralph. Ralph is a strong young teen ager. Who thinks more about others than of him self,
which can be a good thing but also bad. Ralph is a person that you would want to be your leader.
32
Because of him thinking more about the others than of him self. He also goes off of what he
knows, like building a fire and a place for them to sleep every night.
Ralph is affected by this single act, how? By learning to grow up real fast, and learns to
take control of the situations, by becoming a leader, of the boys. He does whats best. He also
affected, if they were going to live. By building a signal fire, wich saved their lives. He did so
much for others, that he affected his health. He didnt relize that he almost had no cloths left, and
smells. And his hair is a mess.
All and all this single act makes Ralph like a new man. By teaching him to grow up fast,
and take of others. And shows him how to lead and take control.
Conventions, Score Point 2
Errors in all criteria of conventions combine to cause at least some interference with
communication. The third body paragraph (“Ralph is affected…And his hair is a mess.”)
displays errors in sentence formation, grammar, spelling, and punctuation that are typical in this
brief, simplistic composition. The writing is sensible overall despite errors which interrupt the
progression of ideas, creating spots where the reader may need to pause and re-read in order to
understand the author’s meaning.
S10 – Statistical Analysis
[This was very difficult to analyze.]
\-\This single act {of the plan crashing#AOP03} {in the story Lord#App04 {of The
Flies,}} changed Ralphs life.
\-\The single act {of the plan crash} changed Ralph's life {for ever.} \F\[LAVFIf the plan
had never had crashed {in the pacific.}] \-\Ralph and all the boy's=CS would be {at home}
{with their familys,} injoying*GerNu06 a nice home cooked meal, and not have to worry {about
anything.} \-\This single act also unforcinably takes a couple {of young boys life's} {along the
way.}
\F\Ralph. \-\Ralph is a strong young teen ager. \F\[RAJFWho thinks more {about others}
[RAVRthan {of him self,}] [RAJFwhich can be a good thing but also bad.=CC]] \-\Ralph is a
person [RAJFthat you would want to be*INFAV04 your leader.] \F\{Because of him
33
thinking#AOP10 more {about the others}} [RAVRthan {of him self.}] \-\He also goes off {of
[RNOPwhat he knows,} {like building*GerOP03 a fire and a place {for them to sleep*INFOP05
every night.#NuA02}}]
\-\Ralph is affected=PV {by this single act,} how? \F\{By learning*GerOP06 to
grow*INFDO04 up real fast,} and learns to take*INFDO06 control {of the situations,} {by
becoming*GerOP06 a leader, {of the boys.}} \-\He does [RNDOwhats best.] \-\He also affected,
[RNDOif they were going to live.] \F\{By building*GerOP04 a signal fire,} [RAJFwich saved
their lives.] \-\He did so much {for others,} [RAVFthat he affected his health.] \-\He didnt relize
[RNDOthat he almost had no cloths left,*GiveR01] and smells.=CV \-\And his hair is a mess.
\-\All#NuA01 and all#NuA02 this single act makes Ralph {like a new man.} \F\{By
teaching*GerOP10 him to grow*INFDO04 up fast, and take*INFDO04 {of others.}} \F\And
shows him how to lead*INFAJ02 and take*INFAJ03 control.
SS1111 –– C
Coonnvveennttiioonnss 11
[This one is very difficult to transcribe. You can resize the following images to see the
original.]
182
the people lear they palsra be in the play the pearl al shakes they be oats pan family but
the like happy and a Juana and kino have A baby re name is coystito they live in a small bione a
mexico ts mexico is beariful
Kino is a pisheman He Love hes wife they are a very good family but one day Coyustito
was ts a bosque and Scospin hibble him
Ihtco by the Bayining they was happy but a Scorpin hibble coyotito and he get sick bahd
In the maby kino fou a pearl that cost all of money by the and the people get mad because they
all want the pearl
34
Concution -> Kino lear that he cant not have all the thing that he want He los he baby
because the pearl But the good ming he that he lear for re mistake and he trong the pear he went
home pund staid sorry and give a medication for cayotito the doctor said that head to bay to him
all for money and know kino have all for friends
Conventions, Score Point 1
Errors in all criteria of conventions seriously interfere with communication in this brief
composition which follows the plot of the novel, The Pearl. The idea of “a mistake” is
mentioned in the introduction and emerges in the conclusion but serious errors in every aspect of
conventions on each line of this composition obscure all but a very weak sense that the character,
Kino “lear that he cant not have all the thing that he want.” From this, readers can guess that the
character is affected by a “mistake.”
S11 – Statistical Analysis
\-\the people lear [RNDOthey palsra be {in the play} the pearl#App02] \C\al shakes they
be oats pan family \C\but the like happy \C\and a Juana and kino=CS have A baby \R\re name is
coystito \R\they live {in a small bione} {a mexico} \R\ts mexico is beariful
\-\Kino is a pisheman \R\He Love hes wife \R\they are a very good family \C\but one
day#NuA02 Coyustito was ts a bosque \C\and Scospin hibble him
\-\Ihtco {by the Bayining} they was happy \C\but a Scorpin hibble coyotito \C\and he get
sick bahd {In the maby} \R\kino fou a pearl [RAJFthat cost all {of money} {by the}] \C\and the
people get mad [RAVFbecause they all want the pearl]
\F\Concution-> \-\Kino lear [RNDOthat he cant not have all the thing [RAJFthat he
want]] \R\He los he baby {because the pearl} \R\But the good ming he [RAJFthat he lear for re
mistake] \R\and he trong the pear \R\he went home pund staid=CV sorry and give=CV a
medication {for cayotito} \R\the doctor said [RNDOthat head to bay {to him} all {for money}]
\C\and know kino have all {for friends}
Responses to Questions about Reading and Literature
The assessment includes four questions based upon short reading selections.
35
Question 9: Open Response
Reading Selection for Question 9.
[This selection is from “The Mooring Mast” by Marcia Amidon Lüste. It is copyrighted
and therefore not included here.]
Directions for Question 9
Based on the excerpt, describe the obstacles the builders of the Empire State Building
faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there. Support your answer with relevant and
specific information from the excerpt.
Scoring Guide and Sample Student Work
Score
4
4
Description
The response is a clear, complete, and accurate description of the obstacles the
builders of the Empire State Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to
dock there. The response includes relevant and specific information from the
excerpt.
3
The response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate description of the
obstacles the builders of the Empire State Building faced in attempting to
allow dirigibles to dock there. The response includes relevant but often general
information from the excerpt.
2
The response is a partial description of the obstacles the builders of the Empire
State Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there. The
response includes limited information from the excerpt and may include
misinterpretations.
1
The response is a minimal description of the obstacles the builders of the
Empire State Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there.
The response includes little or no information from the excerpt and may
include misinterpretations.
OR
The response relates minimally to the task.
The response is totally incorrect or irrelevant, or contains insufficient evidence
to demonstrate comprehension.
Note: There are 2 sample student responses for Score Point 4.
0
SS1122 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 99,, SSccoorree 44((aa))
242 [230 This word count includes the in-text citations that will be dropped in the
statistical analysis]
36
The builders of the Empire State Building faced many obstacles in attempting to allow
dirigibles to dock there. One was that the mooring mast which needed to be constructed on the
building in order for docking to be possible would cause the structure of the Empire State
Building to “Have to be modified and strengthened to accommodate this new situation” (Lusted;
paragraph 9). This is an obstacle that cost money and time hurtle. Another obstacle the builders
faced was that “The winds on top of the building were constantly shifting due to “violent air
currents” (Lusted; paragraph 14). This problem was one that was never truly fixed and is a main
reason why a dirigible never successfully docked at the Empire State Building. A third obstacle
that the builders faced was that their was a law against dirigibles approaching low altitudes over
populated areas. As stated in the passage, there was a “Law against airships flying too low over
urban areas” that would make it “Illegal for an airship to ever tie up to the building” (Lusted;
paragraph 14). Lastly, the builders of the Empire State Building had to face the obstacle that
there was a safety issue with attempting to land enormous combustable ships over New York, a
highly populated city. This is described in the passage by the fact that “Most dirigibles from
outside the United States used hydrogen rather than helium, and hydrogen is highly flammable”
(Lusted; paragraph 13).
Question 9, Score 4 (a)
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate description of the obstacles the builders
of the Empire State Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there. Specific
obstacles involved dealing with structural modifications, high winds, legal issues, and safety
concerns. Relevant and specific information from the excerpt is included to explain each of the
obstacles. The opening sentence simply restates the question and does not add to this response.
S12 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The builders {of the Empire State Building} faced many obstacles {in
attempting*GerOP07 to allow*INFDO06 dirigibles to dock*INFDO04 there.} \-\One was
[RNPNthat the mooring mast [MAJFwhich needed to be=PV constructed*INFDO06 {on the
building} {in order} {for docking to be*INFOP04 possible}] would cause the structure {of the
Empire State Building} to “Have to*INFDO13 be modified and strengthened to
accommodate*INFAV05 this new situation”.] \-\This is an obstacle [RAJFthat cost money and
37
time hurtle.=CC] \-\Another obstacle [MAJFthe builders faced] was [RNPNthat “The winds {on
top {of the building}} were constantly shifting {due to “violent air currents”.}] \-\This problem
was one [RAJFthat was never truly fixed=PV] and is=CV a main reason [RAJFwhy a dirigible
never successfully docked {at the Empire State Building.}] \-\A third obstacle [MAJFthat the
builders faced] was [RNPNthat their was a law {against dirigibles approaching#AOP07 low
altitudes {over populated areas.}}] \-\[LAVRAs stated {in the passage,}] there was a “Law
{against airships flying#AOP07 too low {over urban areas”}} [RAJFthat would make
it*INFDE02 “Illegal {for an airship} to ever tie*INFDS07 up {to the building”.}] \-\Lastly, the
builders {of the Empire State Building} had to face the obstacle [RAJFthat there was a safety
issue {with attempting*GerOP13 to land*INFDO12 enormous combustable ships {over New
York,}} a highly populated city.#App04] \-\This is described=PV {in the passage} {by the fact}
[RAJFthat “Most dirigibles {from outside the United States} used hydrogen {rather than
helium,}] \C\and hydrogen is highly flammable”.
SS1133 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 99,, SSccoorree 44((bb))
185
In the excerpt from The Mooring Mast by Marcia Amidon Lusted, there are many
obstacles that the builders of the Empire State Building faced during the attempt to allow
dirigibles to dock there. First, architects realized that, “A thousand-foot dirigible moored at the
top of the building, held by a single cable tether, would add stress to the building’s frame.” The
Empire State Building would not be stable enough to have a dirigible docked at the top. The
second obstacle is that even if they were to find a stable way to moor the dirigible, the wind
would blow it all over the place. There is no “practical nor safe” way to tie down the dirigible.
Lastly, most foriegn dirigibles used hydrogen rather than helium which was a problem because
hydrogen is highly flammable. If a dirigible were to catch fire while moored to the Empire State
Building, above a densely populated area, the accident would be catastrophic. In conclusion, the
idea of mooring dirigibles at the top of the Empire State Building was a bad decision from the
beginning because of the many obstacles.
38
Question 9, Score 4 (b)
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate description of the obstacles the builders
of the Empire State Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there. It addresses
issues of stress to the building, high winds, and safety concerns with dirigibles fueled by
hydrogen. Specific information from the excerpt is included in the explanation of each of these
points. Both the opening and closing sentences of this response simply restate the question and
do not add anything to this response.
S13 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the excerpt {from The Mooring Mast}} {by Marcia Amidon Lusted,} there are
many obstacles [RAJFthat the builders {of the Empire State Building} faced {during the
attempt} to allow*INFAJ06 dirigibles to dock*INFDO04 there.] \-\First, architects realized
[RNDOthat, “A thousand-foot dirigible moored#ASu16 {at the top {of the building,}}
held*GiveR06 {by a single cable tether,} would add stress {to the building's frame.”}] \-\The
Empire State Building would not be stable enough to have*INFAV08 a dirigible
docked#ADO06 {at the top.} \-\The second obstacle is [RNPNthat even [LAVFif they were to
find a stable way to moor*INFAJ04 the dirigible,] the wind would blow it all {over the place.}]
\-\There is no “practical nor safe” way to tie*INFAJ05 down the dirigible. \-\Lastly, most foriegn
dirigibles used hydrogen rather {than helium} [RAJFwhich was a problem [RAVFbecause
hydrogen is highly flammable.]] \-\[LAVFIf a dirigible were to catch fire [RAVRwhile moored
{to the Empire State Building,} {above a densely populated area,}]] the accident would be
catastrophic. \-\{In conclusion,} the idea {of mooring*GerOP10 dirigibles} {at the top {of the
Empire State Building}} was a bad decision {from the beginning} {because of the many
obstacles.}
SS1144 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 99,, SSccoorree 33
141
In the excerpt from, The Mooring Mast, by Marcia Amidon Lusted, the builders of the
Empire State Building experienced obstacles in attempting to allow dirgibles to dock there. One
of these problems was safety. Some dirigibles from outside the U.S. use hydrogen, not helium,
39
which is highly flamable and would not be safe to have in New York City. Another problem that
was experienced was the winds on the top of the buildings always changed so the dirigibles
would bump into each other and possibly break. Last, there is a law stating airships can not fly
too low over urban areas. This would make it illegal for a ship to dock at the building. These are
reasons in the excerpt from, The Mooring Mast the builders of the Empire State Building
experienced obsticles in attempting to allow dirgibles to dock there.
Question 9, Score 3
This response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate description of the obstacles the
builders of the Empire State Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there. The
problems of safety, high winds, and legal issues are identified but supporting information is
sometimes general. Both the introduction and conclusion repeat part of the question and do not
add to this response.
S14 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the excerpt {from, The Mooring Mast,}} {by Marcia Amidon Lusted,} the builders
{of the Empire State Building} experienced obstacles {in attempting*GerOP07 to
allow*INFDO06 dirgibles to dock*INFDO04 there.} \-\One {of these problems} was safety. \\Some dirigibles {from outside the U.S.} use hydrogen, not helium,=CC [RAJFwhich is highly
flamable and would=CV not be safe to have*INFAV06 {in New York City.}] \-\Another
problem [MAJFthat was experienced=PV] was [RNPNthe winds {on the top {of the buildings}}
always changed [RAVFso the dirigibles would bump {into each other} and possibly
break.=CV]] \-\Last, there is a law stating#APN12 [RNDOairships can not fly too low {over
urban areas.}] \-\This would make it*INFDE10 illegal {for a ship} to dock*INFDS05 {at the
building.} \-\These are reasons {in the excerpt {from, The Mooring Mast}} \R\the builders {of
the Empire State Building} experienced obsticles {in attempting*GerOP07 to allow*INFDO06
dirgibles to dock*INFDO04 there.}
SS1155 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 99,, SSccoorree 22
105
40
Even with this great idea of docking dirgibles to the roof of The Empire State Building
There came some obstacles. For example in paragrab 9 it says, “A thousand-foot dirigible
moored at the top of the building, hold by a single cable tether, would add stress to the buildng’s
frame.” That means that it would rip part of the buildng off because it would not be stable.
Another problem would be in paragraph 14 it says, “…The back of the ship swivel around and
around the mooring mast.” Which states that they need to secure the back or it is unsafe for
people to board.
Question 9, Score 2
This response is a partial description of the obstacles the builders of the Empire State
Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there. Quotes from the excerpt address
problems with stress to the building and securing the ships to the mast, but the explanation of
these obstacles is limited.
S15 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Even {with this great idea} {of docking*GerOP10 dirgibles} {to the roof {of The
Empire State Building}} There came some obstacles. \-\{For example} {in paragrab 9} it says,
[RNDO“A thousand-foot dirigible moored#ASu16 {at the top {of the building,}} hold*GiveR06
{by a single cable tether,} would add stress {to the buildng's frame.”}] \-\That means [RNDOthat
it would rip part {of the buildng} off [RAVFbecause it would not be stable.]] \-\Another problem
would be {in paragraph 14} \R\it says, [RNDO“…The back {of the ship} swivel=SV {around
and around the mooring mast.”}] \-\Which states [RNDOthat they need to secure the back] or
[RNDOit is unsafe {for people} to board.*INFDS02]
SS1166 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 99,, SSccoorree 11
36
The obsticles were the stress of the dirigible’s I sad and the wind pressure would have to
be transmitted all the way to the building’s foundation and something about the steel frame over
60 thousand dollars.
41
Question 9, Score 1
This response is a minimal description of the obstacles the builders of the Empire State
Building faced in attempting to allow dirigibles to dock there. This sentence includes a fragment
of relevant direct copy from paragraph 9 and a vague reference to the cost of modifications.
S16 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The obsticles were the stress {of the dirigible's I sad} and=CC [RNPNthe wind
pressure would have to be transmitted=PV all the way#NuA07 {to the building's foundation}]
and something=CC {about the steel frame} {over 60 thousand dollars.}
SS1177 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 99,, SSccoorree 00
33
The obstacles the Empire State building had for dirigible to dock there was for people to
be transported. Also, they docked there to refuel and service and to let passengers on or off.
Question 9, Score 0
This response is irrelevant. It does not identify any obstacles.
S17 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The obstacles [MAJFthe Empire State building had {for dirigible to dock*INFOP04
there}] was=SV {for people to be*INFOP04 transported.} \-\Also, they docked there to
refuel*INFAV02 and service*INFAV02 and to let*INFAV07 passengers on or off.
Question 18
Reading Selection for Question 18
In this excerpt from Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, Marlow tells a group of sailors
about his river journey through the African jungle at the end of the nineteenth century. Read the
excerpt and answer the questions that follow.
from Heart
of Darkness
by Joseph Conrad
42
“Going up that river was like travelling back to the earliest beginnings of the world, when
vegetation rioted on the earth and the big trees were kings. An empty stream, a great silence, an
impenetrable forest. The air was warm, thick, heavy, sluggish. There was no joy in the brilliance
of sunshine. The long stretches of the waterway ran on, deserted, into the gloom of overshadowed distances. On silvery sand-banks hippos and alligators sunned themselves side by side.
The broadening waters flowed through a mob of wooded islands; you lost your way on that river
as you would in a desert, and butted all day long against shoals,1 trying to find the channel,2 till
you thought yourself bewitched and cut off for ever from everything you had known once—
somewhere—far away—in another existence perhaps. There were moments when one’s past
came back to one, as it will sometimes when you have not a moment to spare to yourself; but it
came in the shape of an unrestful and noisy dream, remembered with wonder amongst the
overwhelming realities of this strange world of plants, and water, and silence. And this stillness
of life did not in the least resemble a peace. It was the stillness of an implacable3 force brooding
over an inscrutable4 intention. It looked at you with a vengeful aspect. I got used to it afterwards;
I did not see it any more; I had no time. I had to keep guessing at the channel; I had to discern,
mostly by inspiration, the signs of hidden banks; I watched for sunken stones; I was learning to
clap my teeth smartly before my heart flew out, when I shaved by a fluke some infernal sly old
snag that would have ripped the life out of the tin-pot steamboat and drowned all the pilgrims; I
had to keep a lookout for the signs of dead wood we could cut up in the night for next day’s
steaming. When you have to attend to things of that sort, to the mere incidents of the surface, the
reality—the reality, I tell you—fades. The inner truth is hidden—luckily, luckily. But I felt it all
the same; I felt often its mysterious stillness watching me at my monkey tricks, just as it watches
you fellows performing on your respective tightropes for—what is it? half-a-crown a tumble——
”
1 shoals
— shallow, sandy areas
2 channel
— the deep part of the river where a boat can travel
3 implacable
— unyielding
4 inscrutable
— difficult to understand
In the public domain.
Directions for Question 18
43
Based on the excerpt, explain how the narrator is affected by the jungle environment.
Support your answer with relevant and specific information from the excerpt.
Scoring Guide
Score
Description
4
The response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the
narrator is affected by the jungle environment. The response includes relevant
and specific information from the excerpt.
4
3
The response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how
the narrator is affected by the jungle environment. The response includes
relevant but often general information from the excerpt.
2
The response is a partial explanation of how the narrator is affected by the
jungle environment. The response includes limited information from the
excerpt and may include misinterpretations.
1
The response is a minimal explanation of how the narrator is affected by
the jungle environment. The response includes little or no information from
the excerpt and may include misinterpretations.
OR
The response relates minimally to the task.
The response is totally incorrect or irrelevant, or contains insufficient
evidence to demonstrate comprehension.
Note: There are 2 sample student responses for Score Point 4.
0
SS1188 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 1188,, SSccoorree 44((aa))
244
In the excerpt, Marlow, being a European outsider to the African jungle, is relating his
experiences of the jungle. The narrator describes his journey up a river in the African jungle, as
he is the captain of a steam ship His description applies techniques of thick personification, and
the jungle seems to be alive, “vegetation rioted on the earth and the big trees were kings.” The
narrator also seems to be uncomfortable with the great silence, “this stillness of life did not in the
least resemble a peace. It was the stillness of an implacable force brooding over an inscrutable
intention.” The silence and stillness was a deceptively peaceful atmosphere, and it made the
narrator feel uncomfortable. However, he was glad of the distraction the duties of being a captain
presented so he did not have to brood over and ponder this tranquility, “The inner truth is
hidden—luckily, luckily.” He treats the jungle as another world, one which he is afraid of
44
becoming a part of, “…till you thought yourself bewitched and cut off for ever from everything
you had known once …in another existence perhaps.” He seems to feel a distinct separateness
from his past life and world, and the jungle seems to be oppressing him, trapping him inside this
world, “I felt often its mysterious stillness watching me…” Above all, this strange and unknown
environment seems to be malevolent to the outsider, unfamiliar with the jungle, and afraid of
possible danger.
Question 18, Score 4
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the narrator is
affected by the jungle environment. Relevant quotes are included and interpreted in order to
explain how the mysterious presence of the jungle makes the narrator uncomfortable. He feels
oppressed and sees the jungle as “another world, one which he is afraid of becoming a part of.”
S18 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the excerpt,} Marlow, being*GiveM08 a European outsider {to the African
jungle,} is relating his experiences {of the jungle.} \-\The narrator describes his journey {up a
river {in the African jungle,}} [RAVFas he is the captain {of a steam ship}] \R\His description
applies techniques {of thick personification,} \C\and the jungle seems to be alive, \,\“vegetation
rioted {on the earth} \C\and the big trees were kings.” \-\The narrator also seems to be
uncomfortable {with the great silence,} \,\“this stillness {of life} did not {in the least} resemble
a peace. \-\It was the stillness {of an implacable force brooding#AOP08 {over an inscrutable
intention.”}} \-\The silence and stillness=CS was=SV a deceptively peaceful atmosphere, \C\and
it made the narrator feel*INFDO04 uncomfortable. \-\However, he was glad {of the distraction}
[RAJFthe duties {of being*GerOP03 a captain} presented [RAVFso he did not have to brood
over and ponder=CV this tranquility,]] \,\“The inner truth is hidden--=PV luckily, luckily.” \-\He
treats the jungle {as another world,} one#App30 [RAJFwhich he is afraid {of
becoming*GerOP04 a part of,} [RAVF“…till you thought yourself#ADO02 bewitched=PV
and=CV cut=PV off#ADO15 {for ever} {from everything} [RAJFyou had known once {…in
another existence} perhaps.”]]] \-\He seems to feel a distinct separateness {from his past life and
world,} \C\and the jungle seems to be oppressing him, trapping*GerAP05 him {inside this
45
world,} \,\“I felt often its mysterious stillness watching#ADO05 me…” \-\{Above all,} this
strange and unknown environment seems to be malevolent {to the outsider,} unfamiliar#PPA03
{with the jungle,} and afraid#PPA05 {of possible danger.}
SS1199 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 1188,, SSccoorree 44((bb))
189
The narrator is frightened by the absolute power of the jungle The narrator is awed by the
beauty of the jungle when he says, “Going up the river was like traveling back to the earliest
beginnings of the world.” But the narrator does not feel light and elated by the environment,
instead he seems frightened. He say “There was no joy in the brilliance of sunshine.” He is
terrified of the prospect of never escaping the jungles grasp, “you thought yourself bewitched
and cut off for ever from everything you had once known.” The jungle environment stirs
memories from within the narrator “in the shape of an unrestful and noisy dream.” The narrator
feels as though the jungle is against him, looking on “with a vengeful aspect” He says “I felt
often its mysterious stillness watching me.” The narrator is transformed into a paranoid man,
troubled by his own past. “The stillness of life did not in the least resemble peace,” offering time
for harsh self-reflection. The jungle environment allows the narrator to look at his own past with
no distractions other than those he creates on his own.
Question 18, Score 4
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the narrator is affected by the
jungle environment. Specific information from the excerpt is included to explain why the jungle
causes the narrator to feel frightened and “transformed into a paranoid man, troubled by his own
past.” The “absolute power of the jungle” is elaborated on by using specific examples from the
excerpt.
S19 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The narrator is frightened=PV {by the absolute power {of the jungle}} \R\The narrator
is awed=PV {by the beauty {of the jungle}} [RAVFwhen he says, [RNDO“Going*GerSU04 {up
the river} was {like traveling*GerOP09 back} {to the earliest beginnings {of the world.”}}]] \-
46
\But the narrator does not feel light and elated=CC {by the environment,} \,\instead he seems
frightened.=PV \-\He say=SV [RNDO“There was no joy {in the brilliance {of sunshine.”}}] \\He is terrified=PV {of the prospect {of never escaping*GerOP05 the jungles grasp,}} \,\“you
thought yourself bewitched#ADO02=PV and cut#ADO07=PV off {for ever} {from everything}
[RAJFyou had once known.”] \-\The jungle environment stirs memories {from within the
narrator} {“in the shape {of an unrestful and noisy dream.”}} \-\The narrator feels [RAVFas
though the jungle is {against him,} looking*GiveR06 on {“with a vengeful aspect”}] \R\He says
[RNDO“I felt often its mysterious stillness watching#ADO05 me.”] \-\The narrator is
transformed=PV {into a paranoid man,} troubled*GiveR04 {by his own past.} \-\“The stillness
{of life} did not {in the least} resemble peace,” offering*GiveR05 time {for harsh selfreflection.} \-\The jungle environment allows the narrator to look*INFDO19 {at his own past}
{with no distractions {other than those}} [RAJFhe creates {on his own.}]
SS2200 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 1188,, SSccoorree 33
178
The narrator is affected by the jungle enviornment in a few ways, and the way in which
he is affected, shifts throughout the excerpt. In the beginning, the narrator seems to be
intimidated by daunting aspect of entering the jungle. He is scared of the primeval jungle, and all
that it may hide. The narrator shows this fear when he says “An empty stream, a great silence, an
impenetrable forest.” This shows his fear because he feels like no one should ever be where he
is. Later in the excerpt, the narrator seems to start losing his grip on reality. He starts to question
what is real, and what he has imagined: what is happening, and what has already come to pass. In
the dark depths of the jungle, all of these aspects of his life blur together, and seems to have an
affect on his sanity. He loses a sense of what is right and what is wrong, and struggles to focus
on navigating the waterway. That is how the narrator is affected by the jungle enviornment.
Question 18, Score 3
This response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the narrator is
intimidated by the jungle. Relevant but general information is included to explain why the
narrator feels scared and starts questioning his life and “losing his grip on reality.” Both the first
47
and last sentences simply restate the question and do not add anything to this response.
S20 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The narrator is affected=PV {by the jungle enviornment} {in a few ways,} \C\and the
way [MAJF{in which} he is affected,=PV] shifts {throughout the excerpt.} \-\{In the
beginning,} the narrator seems to be intimidated=PV {by daunting aspect {of entering*GerOP03
the jungle.}} \-\He is scared=PV {of the primeval jungle, and all} [RAJFthat it may hide.] \-\The
narrator shows this fear [RAVFwhen he says “An empty stream, a great silence,=CC an
impenetrable forest.”=CC] \-\This shows his fear [RAVFbecause he feels [RAVFlike no one
should ever be [RAVFwhere he is.]]] \-\Later {in the excerpt,} the narrator seems to start
losing*GerDO05 his grip {on reality.} \-\He starts to question*INFDO20 [RNDOwhat is real,]
and [RNDOwhat he has imagined:] [RNDOwhat is happening,] and [RNDOwhat has already
come to pass.*INFAV02] \-\{In the dark depths {of the jungle,}} all {of these aspects {of his
life}} blur together, and seems=CV=SV to have an affect {on his sanity.} \-\He loses a sense {of
[RNOPwhat is right] and [RNOPwhat is wrong,]} and struggles=CV to focus*INFAV06 {on
navigating*GerOP03 the waterway.} \-\That is [RNPNhow the narrator is affected=PV {by the
jungle enviornment.}]
SS2211 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 1188,, SSccoorree 22
97
The narrator is affected by the Jungles environment when he gets lost. He remembers
things from his past when he has no time to spare while he’s looking for channel and starting to
feel as if he was bewitched and cut off for ever from everything. After awhile he realizes the
stillness isn’t peace but a vengeful aspect. He then starts to overcome this stillness because he
had no time to be scared he needed to find dead wood and his way back home. The narrator starts
to see the reality and inner truth of the forest.
Question 18, Score 2
This response is a partial explanation of how the narrator is affected by the jungle environment.
There is a mention of the narrator’s sense of being cut off, bewitched, and trying to overcome the
48
stillness, but evidence from the text to support these statements is limited.
S21 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The narrator is affected=PV {by the Jungles environment} [RAVFwhen he gets lost.] \\He remembers things {from his past} [RAJFwhen he has no time to*INFAJ02 spare
[RAVFwhile he's looking {for channel} and starting=CV to feel*INFDO14 [RAVFas if he was
bewitched=PV and=CV cut=PV off {for ever} {from everything.}]]] \-\{After awhile} he
realizes [RNDOthe stillness isn't peace but a vengeful aspect.=CC] \-\He then starts to
overcome*INFDO04 this stillness [RAVFbecause he had no time to be*INFAJ03 scared] \R\he
needed to find*INFDO09 dead wood and his way=CC back home. \-\The narrator starts to
see*INFDO10 the reality and inner truth=CC {of the forest.}
SS2222 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 1188,, SSccoorree 11
45
Based on the excerpt, the narrator is affected by the Jungle enviorment The narrator is
affected by the Jungle enviorment because He was thinking about his past.
He was also affected by it because he thought too much of the Jungle and had no peace
Question 18, Score 1
This response is a minimal explanation of how the jungle environment causes the narrator to
think about his past and feel “no peace.” There is no supporting information from the excerpt for
these statements.
S22 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Based*GerNu04 {on the excerpt,} the narrator is affected=PV {by the Jungle
enviorment} \R\The narrator is affected=PV {by the Jungle enviorment} [RAVFbecause He was
thinking {about his past.}]
\-\He was also affected=PV {by it} [RAVFbecause he thought too much {of the Jungle}
and had=CV no peace]
49
SS2233 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 1188,, SSccoorree 00
46
In the excerpt Heart of Darkness by Joesph Conrad the narrator was affected by the
Jungle environment by seeing “sand-banks with hippos and alligators sunned themselves side by
side”.
In conclusion the Heart of Darkness by Joesph Conrad the narrator was affected by the
jungle environment.
Question 18, Score 0
This response contains insufficient evidence to demonstrate comprehension.
S23 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the excerpt Heart {of Darkness}} {by Joesph Conrad} the narrator was
affected=PV {by the Jungle environment} {by seeing*GerOP11 “sand-banks {with hippos}}
and=CC [RNDOalligators sunned themselves side#NuA03 {by side”.}]
\F\{In conclusion} the Heart {of Darkness} {by Joesph Conrad} the narrator was
affected=PV {by the jungle environment.}
Question 27: Reading and Literature
http://www.doe.mass.edu/mcas/student/2010/question.aspx?GradeID=10&SubjectCode=
ela&QuestionID=10811
Reading Selection for Question 27
This selection is from the copyrighted text Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel
García Márquez.
Prompt
Based on the excerpt, explain Fermina’s mixed feelings about Florentino’s declaration of
love. Support your answer with relevant and specific information from the excerpt.
Scoring Guide
Score
Description
50
4
The response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of Fermina’s
mixed feelings about Florentino’s declaration of love. The response includes
relevant and specific information from the excerpt.
3
The response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate explanation of
Fermina’s mixed feelings about Florentino’s declaration of love. The response
includes relevant but often general information from the excerpt.
2
The response is a partial explanation of Fermina’s mixed feelings about
Florentino’s declaration of love. The response includes limited information
from the excerpt and may include misinterpretations.
1
The response is a minimal explanation of Fermina’s mixed feelings about
Florentino’s declaration of love. The response includes little or no information
from the excerpt and may include misinterpretations.
OR
The response relates minimally to the task.
The response is totally incorrect or irrelevant, or contains insufficient
evidence to demonstrate comprehension.
Note: There are 2 sample student responses for Score Point 4.
0
SS2244 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 2277,, SSccoorree 44((aa))
275 [The brackets in the quotations were replaced by < > to avoid confusion with the
programming codes.]
Fermina Daza has mixed feelings about Florentine’s declaration of love. Marquez writes
that she knew little about the suitor, with the exception of what he had learned from others.
Florentino Ariza is fatherless, and his mother never married. The way that they are viewed in
society for his mother’s “single youthful mistake” gives the Arizas a bad reputation. This prior
knowledge does not work in favor of Florentino, but when she finds out that her suitor has a
promising future, she is more attracted to him. When she finds out that he delivered a telegram to
her father just to be able to see her, she is moved. Sometimes at mass, she feels like Florentino’s
violin is playing for her alone. His interesting characteristics and personality “[awaken] in her a
curiousity that [is] difficult to resist.” Marquez explains how Fermina could not explain why she
had accepted the letter. It is evident that the letter means something to her, because she keeps it a
secret. Also she obsesses over it, counting the words and letters, and was initially disappointed
when inside the envelope, there was no long feverish letter. Soon, Fermina thinks about
Florentino all the time, and she finds that she does not know how to reply to his note. Finally she
51
does, and the two lovers continue their relationship through a feverish epistolary correspondace.
Fermina has mixed feelings because her first impression of Florentino and the disapproval of her
Aunt leads her astray from admitting that she has true feeling for him in her heart. Although she
is unsure for a while, she is able to build a happy, loving, relationship with Fermino.
Question 27, Score 4
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of Fermina’s mixed feelings about
Florentino. She is initially unsure about him because of his family background and the
disapproval of her aunt. She also finds Florentino interesting and she cannot resist feeling
curious about him and feels “Florentino’s violin is playing for her alone.” Although Fermina is
unsure of Florentino at first, her attraction to him grows. A great deal of specific textual evidence
from the excerpt supports the idea that “her first impression of Florentino...leads her astray from
admitting that she has true feeling for him in her heart.”
S24 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Fermina Daza has mixed feelings {about Florentine's declaration {of love.}} \\Marquez writes [RNDOthat she knew little {about the suitor,} {with the exception} {of
[RNOPwhat he had learned {from others.}}]] \-\Florentino Ariza is fatherless, \C\and his mother
never married. \-\The way [MAJFthat they are viewed=PV {in society} {for his mother's “single
youthful mistake”}] gives the Arizas a bad reputation. \-\This prior knowledge does not work {in
favor {of Florentino,}} \C\but [LAVFwhen she finds out [RNDOthat her suitor has a promising
future,]] she is more attracted=PV {to him.} \-\[LAVFWhen she finds out [RNDOthat he
delivered a telegram {to her father} just to be*INFAV07 able to see*INFAV03 her,]] she is
moved.=PV \-\Sometimes {at mass,} she feels [RAVFlike Florentino's violin is playing {for her
alone.}] \-\His interesting characteristics and personality=CS “<awaken> {in her} a curiousity
[RAJFthat <is> difficult to*INFAV02 resist.”] \-\Marquez explains [RNDOhow Fermina could
not explain [RNDOwhy she had accepted the letter.]] \-\It is evident [RNDSthat the letter means
something {to her,}] [RAVFbecause she keeps it*INFDE03 a secret.] \-\Also she obsesses {over
it,} counting*GiveR05 the words and letters, and was=CV initially disappointed=PV
[RAVFwhen {inside the envelope,} there was no long feverish letter.] \-\Soon, Fermina thinks
52
{about Florentino} all the time,#NuA03 \C\and she finds [RNDOthat she does not know how to
reply*INFAJ05 {to his note.}] \-\Finally she does, \C\and the two lovers continue their
relationship {through a feverish epistolary correspondace.} \-\Fermina has mixed feelings
[RAVFbecause her first impression {of Florentino} and the disapproval=CS {of her Aunt}
leads=SV her*INFDE14 astray {from admitting*GerOP11} [RNDOthat she has true feeling {for
him} {in her heart.}]] \-\[LAVFAlthough she is unsure {for a while,}] she is able to
build*INFAV08 a happy, loving, relationship {with Fermino.}
SS2255 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 2277,, SSccoorree 44((bb))
261
In the excerpt from Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garćia Márquez Fermina
displays mixed feelings about Florentino’s declaration of love because he was not exactly an
appropriate suitor for her. Fermina was a wealthy girl from a very prominent family. Florentino
however was born out of wedlock but had a “promising future.” Fermina thought the way he
courted her was very Brave. He sent a telegram to Ferminas father just to see her. He was very
bold when he came back to visit her. Fermina states “he was not the kind of man she would have
chosen.” He made her so curious though it was hard to resist. In the article in said “she had never
imagined that curiosity was one of the many masks of love.” Part of her mixed feelings was
because he would complicate her life. He had sent her a letter and she had to choose whether to
respond or not. She would spend hours reading the letter trying to look for hidden meaning. She
was falling in love with him but it went against society A rich girl and a poor boy was not
exactly approved of She also barely knew him. She would not have known his name if it had not
been on the letter. Fermina had good reason to have mixed feelings because it went against
society and she barely knew him. She also decided to be brave and bold and take a chance with a
man she barely knew This risked paid off and they fell madly in love.
Question 27, Score 4
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of Fermina’s mixed feelings about
Florentino. She thinks Florentino is brave and he makes her curious. She also feels he would
complicate her life because falling in love with him would go against society. Details from the
53
excerpt are included to provide relevant and specific support for the fact that he was “not exactly
an appropriate suitor for her” but “it was hard to resist.”
S25 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the excerpt {from Love}} {in the Time {of Cholera}} {by Gabriel Garcia
Márquez} Fermina displays mixed feelings {about Florentino's declaration {of love}}
[RAVFbecause he was not exactly an appropriate suitor {for her.}] \-\Fermina was a wealthy girl
{from a very prominent family.} \-\Florentino however was born=PV {out of wedlock} but
had=CV a “promising future.” \-\Fermina thought [RNDOthe way [MAJFhe courted her] was
very Brave.] \-\He sent a telegram {to Ferminas father} just to*INFAV04 see her. \-\He was very
bold [RAVFwhen he came back to*INFAV03 visit her.] \-\Fermina states [RNDO“he was not
the kind {of man} [RAJFshe would have chosen.”]] \-\He made her*INFDE03 so curious though
[RAVFit was hard to*INFDS02 resist.] \-\{In the article} in said [RNDO“she had never
imagined [RNDOthat curiosity was one {of the many masks {of love.”}}]] \-\Part {of her mixed
feelings} was [RNPNbecause he would complicate her life.] \-\He had sent her a letter \C\and
she had to choose whether to respond*INFDO05 or not. \-\She would spend hours#NuA01
reading*GerNu09 the letter trying*GerNu06 to look*INFDO05 {for hidden meaning.} \-\She
was falling {in love {with him}} \C\but it went {against society} \-\A rich girl and a poor
boy=CS was not exactly approved=PV of \R\She also barely knew him. \-\She would not have
known his name [RAVFif it had not been {on the letter.}] \-\Fermina had good reason to
have*INFAJ04 mixed feelings [RAVFbecause it went {against society}] and [RAVFshe barely
knew him.] \-\She also decided to be*INFDO05 brave and bold and take*INFDO10 a chance
{with a man} [RAJFshe barely knew] \-\This risked paid off \C\and they fell madly {in love.}
SS2266 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 2277,, SSccoorree 33
153 [Delete the in-text citations = 147.]
Fermina has many mixed feelings about Florentino’s declaration of love. One of her
feelings is the secret type of love that she now shares with Florentino. “…while the other
instruments played for everyone, the violin played for her alone.” (Márquez 6) She really loves
him to the point at which she invisions Florentino playing the violin only for her. Fermina also
54
has a feeling of confusion towards Florentino’s declaration of love. “…she did not know how to
answer him.” (Márquez 8) This is after she recieves the letter and doesn’t respond, and she
simply says she does not know how to respond. Fermina also has a feeling of curiosity towards
Florentino’s decleration of love. “…attempting to discover a secret code, a magical formula
hidden…” (Márquez 7) This is when Fermina locks herself in the bathroom and begins to read
Florentino’s letter and tries to find a hidden clue which she believes is there.
Question 27, Score 3
This response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate explanation of Fermina’s mixed feelings
about Florentino. She feels love, but also confusion and curiosity. Fermina’s mixed feelings are
supported with quotations from the excerpt but the explanation of these quotations is only mostly
complete and clear. The first sentence simply restates the question and does not add anything to
the response.
S26 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Fermina has many mixed feelings {about Florentino's declaration {of love.}} \-\One
{of her feelings} is the secret type {of love} [RAJFthat she now shares {with Florentino.}]
\R\[LAVF“…while the other instruments played {for everyone,}] the violin played {for her
alone.”} \-\She really loves him {to the point} [RAJF{at which} she invisions Florentino
playing#ADO07 the violin only {for her.}] \-\Fermina also has a feeling {of confusion}
{towards Florentino's declaration {of love.}} \R\“…she did not know how to answer*INFAJ03
him.” \-\This is [RAVFafter she recieves the letter and doesn't=CV respond,] \C\and she simply
says [RNDOshe does not know how to*INFAJ02 respond.] \-\Fermina also has a feeling {of
curiosity} {towards Florentino's decleration {of love.}} “…attempting*GiveR10 to
discover*INFDO09 a secret code, a magical formula#App04 hidden…”*GiveR01 \-\This is
[RAVFwhen Fermina locks herself {in the bathroom} and begins=CV to read*INFDO04
Florentino's letter and tries=CV to find*INFDO10 a hidden clue [RAJFwhich she believes is
there.]]
55
SS2277 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 2277,, SSccoorree 22
79
At first Fermina does not know how to answer Florentino’s letter. In paragrap 6 Fermina
thinks to her self “He was not the kind of man she would have chosen.” He was a musician, his
mother never married, he worked at the church, and he was very bold and determind. However
because he was so different Fermina became intrigued by him, She spent most of her time
thinking about him or reading his letter, trying to figure him out.
Question 27, Score 2
This response is a partial explanation of Fermina’s mixed feelings about Florentino. He is not the
type of man she would have chosen, but she finds him intriguing. Limited information from the
excerpt is included to explain Fermina’s mixed feelings, such as, “She spent most of her time
thinking about him...trying to figure him out.”
S27 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{At first} Fermina does not know how to answer*INFAJ04 Florentino's letter. \-\{In
paragrap 6} Fermina thinks {to her self} [RNDO“He was not the kind {of man} [RAJFshe
would have chosen.”]] \-\He was a musician, \C\his mother never married, \C\he worked {at the
church,} \C\and he was very bold and determind.=CC \-\However [LAVFbecause he was so
different] Fermina became intrigued=PV {by him,} \,\She spent most {of her time}
thinking*GerNu03 {about him} or reading*GerNu04 his letter, trying*GerNu05 to
figure*INFDO04 him out.
SS2288 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 2277,, SSccoorree 11
43
Fermina’s mixed feeling about Florentino’s declaration of love is shes not sure if hes the
guy for her. She has all these thoughts about his past and her past. She is afriad he won’t treat her
well and if other people won’t approve.
56
Question 27, Score 1
This response is a minimal explanation of Fermina’s mixed feelings about Florentino. She is
unsure if Florentino is right for her and afraid that other people won’t approve. Supporting
information from the excerpt is not included.
S28 – Statistical Analysis
\-\Fermina's mixed feeling {about Florentino's declaration {of love}} is [RNPNshes not
sure [RAVFif hes the guy {for her.}]] \-\She has all these thoughts {about his past and her past.}
\-\She is afriad [RAVFhe won't treat her well] and [RAVFif other people won't approve.]
SS2299 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 2277,, SSccoorree 00
42
Fermina’s mixed feelings about Florentino’s declaration of his mom because he missed
his mother and he don’t get along with his Aunt that much. He wish his mother was there with
his right now because he will not talk back too her.
Question 27, Score 0
This response is incorrect.
S29 – Statistical Analysis
\F\Fermina's mixed feelings {about Florentino's declaration {of his mom}}
[RAVFbecause he missed his mother] and [RAVFhe don't get along {with his Aunt} that
much.#NuA02] \-\He wish [RNDOhis mother was there {with his} right now] [RAVFbecause he
will not talk back {too her.}]
Question 36: Reading and Literature
http://www.doe.mass.edu/mcas/student/2010/question.aspx?GradeID=10&SubjectCode=
ela&QuestionID=10820
Reading Selection for Question 36
Students read a selection titled “Making Humus by Composting” by Liz Ball,
from Composting. Copyright © 1997 by Smith & Hawken.
57
Prompt
Explain how the structure and format of the article help the reader understand the
process of composting. Support your answer with relevant and specific examples from
the article.
Scoring Guide
Score
Description
4
The response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the
structure and format of the article help the reader understand the process of
composting. The response contains relevant and specific examples from the
article.
3
The response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the
structure and format of the article help the reader understand the process of
composting. The response contains relevant but often general examples from
the article.
2
The response is a partial explanation of how the structure and format of the
article help the reader understand the process of composting. The response
includes limited examples from the article and may include misinterpretations.
1
The response is a minimal explanation of how the structure and format of the
article help the reader understand the process of composting. The response
includes few or no examples from the article and may include
misinterpretations.
OR
The response relates minimally to the task.
The response is totally incorrect or irrelevant or contains insufficient evidence
to demonstrate comprehension.
Note: There are 2 sample student responses for Score Point 4.
0
SS3300 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 3366,, SSccoorree 44((aa))
265
The structure and format of “Making Humus By Composting” by Liz Ball helps the
reader understand the process of composting. The author begins with background information
about composting’s history and gives a brief and simple summary of the process. She ends the
introduction by explaining that, “The remaining substance is the dark brown or black humus
material called compost. By beginning this way, the author has prepared the reader with some
58
prior knowledge about the information given in the following, more detailed description of the
process. Ball continues on with capitalized headings to indicate the steps in the process and
bolded capitalized headings to indicate the three main stages of this process. Within the
explanations of the steps of composting, a chart is also included which is called “Temperature
Fluctuations of the Compost Pile” that gives a visual of what is being explained. She utilizes
these to make her points clear to the reader. For example, she explains the role of different
microorganisms at different steps and temperatures while the chart shows the time and
temperature differences. After the steps of composting are explained, the author writes a
conclusion so that the reader is able to pull all of the information that they’ve previously read
together and add to their understanding of the process. After ensuring that the reader has a good
understanding she gives facts such as “Nutrient content is largely determined by the type and
proportions of carbon and nitrogen ingredients in the initial mix of organic material,” to give an
even further understanding of how composting works and what factors affect it.
Question 36, Score 4
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the structure and format of
the article help the reader understand the process of composting. Relevant and specific examples
address the author’s use of background information, capitalized headings, and the chart. The
author’s use of steps and a conclusion to “pull all of the information that they’ve previously read
together” also adds to the reader’s understanding. The first sentence simply restates the question
and does not add to the response.
S30 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The structure and format=CS {of “Making Humus {By Composting”}} {by Liz Ball}
helps the reader understand*INFDO07 the process {of composting.} \-\The author begins {with
background information {about composting's history}} and gives=CV a brief and simple
summary {of the process.} \-\She ends the introduction {by explaining*GerOP15 [RNOPthat,
“The remaining substance is the dark brown or black humus material called*GiveR02
compost.]} \-\{By beginning*GerOP03 this way,#NuA02} the author has prepared the reader
{with some prior knowledge {about the information}} given*GiveR10 {in the following, more
59
detailed description {of the process.}} \-\Ball continues on {with capitalized headings to
indicate*INFAV07 the steps {in the process} and bolded capitalized headings to
indicate*INFAV09 the three main stages {of this process.}} \-\{Within the explanations} {of the
steps {of composting,}} a chart is also included=PV [RAJFwhich is called=PV “Temperature
Fluctuations#RCM07 {of the Compost Pile”} [RAJFthat gives a visual {of [RNOPwhat is being
explained.=PV]]]} \-\She utilizes these to make*INFAV08 her points*INFDE06 clear {to the
reader.} \-\{For example,} she explains the role {of different microorganisms} {at different steps
and temperatures} [RAVFwhile the chart shows the time and temperature differences.] \\[LAVFAfter the steps {of composting} are=PV explained,] the author writes a conclusion
[RAVFso that the reader is able to pull*INFAV11 all {of the information} [RAJFthat they've
previously read together and add*INFAV08 {to their understanding {of the process.}}]] \\{After ensuring*GerOP08 [RNOPthat the reader has a good understanding]} she gives facts
such#PPA24 [RAVFas “Nutrient content is largely determined=PV {by the type and proportions
{of carbon and nitrogen ingredients}} {in the initial mix {of organic material,”}}] to
give*INFAV15 an even further understanding {of [RNOPhow composting works] and
[RNOPwhat factors affect it.]}
SS3311 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 3366,, SSccoorree 44((bb))
215 [Deleted in-text = 213 .]
In the article “Making Humus by Composting” by Liz Ball, the author’s structures and
format of writing helps the reader better understand the process of composting. In paragraphs 13, Ball gives the reader an overview and some back-story as to what they’ll be reading. When
Ball says “In simple terms, the composting process is fueled… organisms already in any pile of
organic matter” (para. 3), she is recapping what she had already said, but in everyday terms. This
is one example of her helpful structure because it uses different terms to help the reader
understand a crucial point in the article. After the first 3 paragraphs of general information, the
author then breaks down each individual step of the process to specific information and labels
each section accordingly. This is also extremely helpful to the reader because it keeps them on
track and labels each step so that it isn’t a giant slur of information. Finally she sums the article
up with a description of the final product and a recap of what she talked about throughout the
60
essay. These elements of structure are helpful because they add closure to the article and touch
upon some key points again. Overall, the structure of the article helps the reader remember key
points and understand specific information.
Question 36, Score 4
This response is a clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the structure and format of
the article help the reader understand the process of composting. Specific examples include the
author’s initial overview, as well as the breakdown of steps and the labeling of individual
sections. The response discusses how the end of the article includes a general summary as well
as a description of the final product to “touch upon some key points.” The first sentence of the
response simply restates the question and does not add to the response.
S31 – Statistical Analysis
\-\{In the article “Making Humus {by Composting”}} {by Liz Ball,} the author's
structures and format=CS {of writing} helps the reader better understand*INFDO08 the process
{of composting.} \-\{In paragraphs 1-3,} Ball gives the reader an overview and some backstory=CC {as to [RNOPwhat they'll be reading.]} \-\[LAVFWhen Ball says [RNDO{“In simple
terms,} the composting process is fueled…=PV organisms already {in any pile {of organic
matter”,}}]] she is recapping [RNDOwhat she had already said,] but {in everyday terms.} \-\This
is one example {of her helpful structure} [RAVFbecause it uses different terms to
help*INFAV11 the reader understand*INFDO09 a crucial point {in the article.}] \-\{After the
first 3 paragraphs {of general information,}} the author then breaks down each individual step
{of the process} {to specific information} and labels=CV each section accordingly. \-\This is
also extremely helpful {to the reader} [RAVFbecause it keeps them {on track} and labels=CV
each step [RAVFso that it isn't a giant slur {of information.}]] \-\Finally she sums the article up
{with a description {of the final product} and a recap} [RAJF{of what} she talked about
{throughout the essay.}] \-\These elements {of structure} are helpful [RAVFbecause they add
closure {to the article} and touch upon=CV some key points again.] \-\Overall, the structure {of
the article} helps the reader remember*INFDO05 key points and understand*INFDO04 specific
information.
61
SS3322 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 3366,, SSccoorree 33
148
The structure and format of the article helps the reader understand the article. The structer
helps the reader understand because it is in order from the beginning of the process to the end. It
is written in steps so the reader can understand it. At first it is about the overall view of
composting. It helps the reader understand what composting is and what it is used for. Then it
goes more into detail and explains the process of decomposure. It explains each step of the
process and helps the reader have a better understanding of the process. The chart also helps by
giving a visual so the reader can see the steps, the temperature and the organisms. Then it goes
on to talk about the finished product. The structure is in order and it goes into detail of the
process so the reader can understand the article.
Question 36, Score 3
This response is a mostly clear, complete, and accurate explanation of how the structure and
format of the article help the reader understand the process of composting. The explanation
includes the use of steps, the overview of composting, the chart, and details about the finished
product. Overall, examples from the article are relevant but general. The first sentence simply
restates the question and does not add to the response.
S32 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The structure and format=CS {of the article} helps=SV the reader understand the
article. \-\The structer helps the reader understand*INFDO05 [RAVFbecause it is {in order}
{from the beginning {of the process}} {to the end.}] \-\It is written=PV {in steps} [RAVFso the
reader can understand it.] \-\{At first} it is {about the overall view {of composting.}} \-\It helps
the reader understand*INFDO12 [RNDOwhat composting is] and [RNDOwhat it is used=PV
for.] \-\Then it goes more {into detail} and explains=CV the process {of decomposure.} \-\It
explains each step {of the process} and helps=CV the reader have*INFDO09 a better
understanding {of the process.} \-\The chart also helps {by giving*GerOP03 a visual} [RAVFso
the reader can see the steps, the temperature=CC and the organisms.=CC] \-\Then it goes on to
62
talk*INFAV06 {about the finished product.} \-\The structure is {in order} \C\and it goes {into
detail {of the process}} [RAVFso the reader can understand the article.]
SS3333 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 3366,, SSccoorree 22
87
The structure and format of the article help the reader understand by including a chart,
having titles to the stages section and explaining the steps in the order they happen. By putting
the text in a simpler form and explaining words that non-farmers might know the author makes it
easier for the reader to understand such a complex cycle. Also by sectioning the reading off and
titling parts the reader can navigate easier and check back to other parts to make sure they
comprehend what they’re reading.
Question 36, Score 2
This response partially explains how the structure and format of the article help the reader
understand the process of composting. There is some explanation of how the author’s use of
titles helps the reader navigate the article, but most of the response includes limited supporting
examples.
S33 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The structure and format=CS {of the article} help the reader understand*INFDO03 {by
including*GerOP03 a chart, having*GerOP06 titles {to the stages section} and
explaining*GerOP09 the steps {in the order}} [RAJFthey happen.] \-\{By putting*GerOP07 the
text {in a simpler form} and explaining*GerOP07 words} [LAJFthat non-farmers might know]
the author makes it*INFDE11 easier {for the reader} to understand*INFDS06 such a complex
cycle. \-\Also {by sectioning*GerOP04 the reading off and titling*GerOP03 parts} the reader
can navigate easier and check=CV back {to other parts} to make*INFAV08 sure [RNDSthey
comprehend [RNDOwhat theyr'e reading.]]
SS3344 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 3366,, SSccoorree 11
44
63
The stucture and format of this story will help for the reader to understand this easily
because not only do they tell you how its done but they give an chart that explans the process and
they show what is done in the step
Question 36, Score 1
This response is a minimal attempt to explain how the structure and format of the article help the
reader understand the process of composting. The chart and use of steps are mentioned but no
other information from the article is included.
S34 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The stucture and format=CS {of this story} will help {for the reader} to
understand*INFDO04 this easily [RAVFbecause not only do they tell you [RNDOhow its done]]
[RAVFbut they give an chart [RAJFthat explans the process]] and [RAVFthey show
[RNDOwhat is done {in the step}]]
SS3355 –– Q
Quueessttiioonn 3366,, SSccoorree 00
The structure and format in the article didn’t help the reader understand, I thought this
was english
Question 36, Score 0
This response does not answer the question.
S35 – Statistical Analysis
\-\The structure and format=CS {in the article} didn't help the reader
understand,*INFDO03 \,\I thought [RNDOthis was english]