MONDAY, February 1, 2010 Vol. 1 Issue 1 NEWSLETTER

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MONDAY, February 1, 2010
FORECAST
Vol. 1 Issue 1
NEWSLETTER
Malcolm becomes Scotland’s new king
Friday:
By LENNOX ABERDEEN
It was the second coronation at
Scone in as many months, only this time
the attendance was fuller and the crowd
was less suspicious of their new king.
Thunderstorms
Yesterday, Malcolm, the Prince of
 Foul
Cumberland and eldest son of Duncan
(the predecessor of Macbeth), claimed
Saturday:
the crown as people continuously
cheered, “hail, King of Scotland”!
“I have big plans for Scotland,”
announced Malcolm. “And one of my
main priorities right now is to have a
Sunny
proper funeral for my father.”
 Fair
Duncan was stabbed to death by
Macbeth while sleeping – something
Sunday:
that caused both Malcolm and his
brother, Donaldbain to flee to separate
countries.
“Harmony will be restored to
Mix of Sun and Scotland and those who helped with the
Cloud
rebellion against Macbeth will be
 Foul & Fair
rewarded,” promised the new king.
Two of these helpers, Macduff and
the Thane of Ross, received their
rewards during coronation. Macduff,
also the Thane of Fife, received the title
Thane of Glamis, and as for the Thane
of Ross, he is now also the Thane of
Cawdor.
“Serving someone as fair as Malcolm
instead of the foul Macbeth is gratitude
enough for me,” laughed Macduff. “But
I’m really excited to be the new Thane
of Glamis. It’s a huge surprise.”
Malcolm also expressed his gratitude
Present this coupon towards England for its contributions in
to any Swordsman helping him defeat Macbeth as well as
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with England. “There is nothing
Scottish sword!
Scotland and England can’t achieve
when working together,” Malcolm
INDEX
proclaimed. “Our victory against
Macbeth is just the beginning. They
Front Page 1
have a lot of great warriors like Siward,
News
2
and their king is one of the most
Sports
3
generous people I’ve ever met. They are
an invaluable alliance, and I look
forward to working with them in the
near future.”
Malcolm, who had rumors floating
around him just after the death of his
father, is now being looked up to by
many as a hero.
“Malcolm is a lot like his father; his
leadership skills are without equal and
he treats everyone with a lot of respect,”
said 65-year-old Gergory Fergus, the
Thane of Ross’s father. “When Macbeth
ruled, everything was foul – even the
animals and the weather were acting
strangely. But I believe that with
Malcolm becoming king, Scotland will
become fair once again.”
The coronation itself took place at
Edinburgh Castle at around noon, and
not one nobleman missed seeing
Malcolm take his seat upon the Stone of
Scone, also known as the Stone of
Destiny. After the coronation, all guests
were invited to Malcolm’s palace at
Forres for a banquet.
“It was a great banquet,” voiced
Donaldbain. “There were no ghosts and
no one got stabbed, so that’s always a
plus.”
NEWS
Monday, February 1, 2010
2
The deaths of the Macbeths
Macbeth slain by Macduff at Dunsinane
By BRANON SEAVER
On
Wednesday
afternoon, Macduff got his
wish; he avenged his family
by killing Macbeth.
At 2 p.m., the Scottish
rebels and English army
approached
Macbeth’s
castle at Dunsinane. Each
soldier carried a bough
from Birnam Wood in order
to conceal their numbers
from the tyrant, Macbeth.
“It was Malcolm’s idea
for everyone to carry a
branch,”
explained
a
triumphant Macduff. “It
worked really well too.
From what I hear, though,
Macbeth thought the forest
was moving towards his
castle. That goes to show
that not only was Macbeth
mad, but clay-brained as
well.”
The saddest part of the
battle against the one-manarmy, Macbeth was when
young Siward was killed;
Macbeth stabbed him in the
throat. But, Siward, the
father of young Siward,
took a fair outlook on this
The tyrant, Macbeth (left) battles the warrior, Macduff (right).
foul event.
“My son died a soldier’s death –
fighting like a man, rather than
running away. He is in heaven now,
so he’s not worth any sorrow.”
Soon after, Macduff came faceto-face with Macbeth.
“It was a long dual,” said
Macduff. “He was really confident,
thinking he could kill any man who
was of woman born. After I told
him I was untimely ripped from my
mother’s womb, he got really
nervous. We both kept swinging
our swords at each other as hard as
we could. But, the last time he
swung at me, I ducked and then
had an easy swipe at his legs. Then
I severed his head as well, which
everyone can see stuck on a pike
just outside of his castle.”
“It’s sad to see such a great
warrior turn into an ugly monster,”
said Lennox of Macbeth. “I just
hope we won’t see any more
monsters anytime soon.”
Lady Macbeth stabs herself with a dagger
By MACK MULLIGAN
It was 1:30 on a Wednesday
afternoon when Lady Macbeth
died from stabbing herself with a
dagger.
“I heard a scream,” sobbed a
nurse. “And immediately I knew
Lady Macbeth had hurt herself.
She seemed to be mentally ill
ever since Macduff’s family was
killed.”
“One night, I observed Lady
Macbeth saying bizarre things
while walking around nude in
her sleep,” added Dr. Logan
Roberts. “She was crying about
not being able to wash blood
clean from her hands, even
though her hands were spotless.
What was even more interesting
was that she said the blood was
from an ‘old man’ – I assume
she was referring to Duncan. I
had a feeling she might commit
suicide so I tried to remove her
from all means of annoyance,
but obviously I didn’t do a good
enough job.”
More people are actually
celebrating the death of Lady
Macbeth though, rather than
mourning over it.
“Lady Macbeth was a fiendlike queen,” declared Malcolm
after learning about Lady
Macbeth’s death. “I think it’s
fairly clear why she killed
herself: after being involved in
the murder of my father she
couldn’t handle the guilt, and
she got what she deserved.”
Macduff
showed
no
sympathy for Lady Macbeth
either.
“She is just as guilty as
Macbeth,” he said. “Had she not
killed herself, I would’ve done it
for her.”
SPORTS & PUZZLES
Monday, February 1, 2010
HORSERACING
ON SUNDAY THE TOP 5 HORSERACING LEADERS WILL BE
RACING FOR PRIZE MONEY AT FORRES! COME CHEER ON
YOUR FAVORITE RACER AND FEEL FREE TO MAKE A BET!
KING MALCOLM IS ATTENDING!
HORSERACE LEADERS
CROSSWORD PUZZLE
NAME:
RANK:
Agar, Alister
1
Macnevin, Fraser
2
Kennard, Murdock
3
Owen, Bretton
4
Sullivan, Tavin
5
3
Solution to the Crossword Puzzle:
Picture References:
Flag of Scotland: http://www.midcoast.com
Forecast/Weather Pictures: http://www.aperfectworld.org
Malcolm claims the crown at Scone: http://shakespeareventures.com
Sword: http://www.bueker-gmbh.de
Macbeth battling Macduff: http://www.learn-ict.org.uk
Horseracing Logo: http://www.lanemetalworks.com
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