Commentary Examples (AT Standard)
Essay #1:
School Boards must adopt new methods to prepare students for postsecondary education
or else students will continue to be set up to fail.
When students fall behind in international testing it has a major impact on the U.S.’s education. Many other
countries scores are improving and are surpassing the U.S. in education. In Massachusetts, the United States top
scoring state in the international testing, 19% of students who took the exam placed in the top 2 levels of proficiency
while 55% of students in shanghai reached those tiers (Layton). Only a small group of students achieving top
proficiency levels while, in the provinces of china over half their student are excelling in these levels and U.S.
students would only be able to barely reach those levels if they were given two extra years of high school. School
boards need to find effective ways to increase the amount of students proficient in educational skills or else the
U.S.’s education will continue to fall. With this in mind, the results of these test scores offer fresh evidence for those
who argue that the U.S. is losing ground to global competitors, and others who say a decade of school reform has
done little to improve educational outcomes (Layton). The U.S’s. education is falling behind in the world and
reforms have done little to actually promote education progress with students. For the United States to regain its
ground in the world of education, reforms must be applied that will effectively improve education for students.
New methods must be adopted to improve student’s skills and strengthen areas students are most weak in.
The president of the National Education Association stated that “the country should end divisive debates about
policies and adopt methods that are working in the top scoring nations” (Layton). Our country needs to take action
with the issues of the educational system and even adopt methods that are used by other top scoring nations to
improve the conditions of U.S.’s education. The heads of the school boards must consider the methods that should
be adopted and used by other countries to improve it’s own. In 2000, Germany was shocked by its PISA test results
so they adopted national educational standards and has taken steps to improve teacher education and establish a
common test for high school exams in math, reading, and science (Layton). Adopting new methods and standards
will greatly impact students education by improving educational standards and scores which will lead the United
States educational system in the direction it needs to go. School boards must adopt new standards that will
effectively help improve students' scores and educational progress. With new methods and international standards
introduced to school it will greatly help students' education progress and put the United States with the top scoring
countries as students’ scores begin to greatly improve; causing the change that education in the United States needs.
Commentary Examples (AT Standard)
Essay #2:
Current laws for drinking and driving fail to ensure safety on the roads; thus,
Washington’s lawmakers need to change the laws to become more strict to prevent injury
and death.
In the same way that vehicular manslaughter charges need to be stricter, Washington’s drinking and driving
laws need to be harsher as well. For example, a multiple time offender could receive a maximum penalty of one year
in jail and might have a fine. Even if it is their fifth offense, they could only get a maximum penalty of one year in
jail (“Penalties for Drinking [...]”). This gives them five too many chances to harm someone. Lawmakers need to
change the laws so that a repeat offender receives a stricter penalty to prevent them from driving intoxicated again.
Also through legal wrangling, people have gotten their DUI charges removed from their permanent record (Stim).
They usually hire an attorney and convince a judge to remove it from their record by finding a loophole. This allows
them to almost start over with a clean slate because their past charges have been removed. By taking the charges off
their permanent record, it justifies their choice to drink and drive. Lawmakers need to make a law stating that DUI
charges remain on one’s permanent record for life. If this law were to be made, the roads will be safer because
people don’t want to drive drunk if it is threatened to stay on their record.
Likewise, DUI laws aren’t strict enough because Washington’s penalties for drinking and driving could be
charged as a misdemeanor, not a felony. For one thing, a misdemeanor, or a non- indictable offense, would give the
offender a very light sentence or possibly no sentence at all (“Washington DUI Consequences”). Instead of getting
charged with a serious crime, they get charged with it only being an accident. But whether it is an accident or not,
someone’s life was still taken from them. Lawmakers need to make the laws more effective and harsh. On the other
hand, a felony would give the offender a much harsher sentence. But it usually depends on the circumstances of the
crash and the judge’s discretion (“DUI and DWI [...]”). Because there is not a set law making a vehicular homicide
to be charged as a felony, it is very easy to get it charged as a misdemeanor. Therefore, a law needs to be made that
states that a vehicular homicide charge is a felony if it is the offender’s third or more offense. This shows that they
are a consistent reckless driver and need to be stopped. If these laws were changed, offenders will receive
appropriate punishment for taking someone’s life, instead of being able to go free.