Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be prepared to
perform it on stage on ________________________. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction
in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the
audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun
with it, take on traits of the character. Traits of the character would be how they walk and or move
around, and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd together without
looking and so on.
"Down the Tubes" (Female)
Cynthia is confiding in her older sister, before she faces the grim job of telling her
parents the bad news, that she won't be following the family footsteps by graduating
Valedictorian.
Cynthia: Well it's done, I've passed the point of no return...I can't believe this
has happened! All my life, I've been great in school, I've always been a leader,
almost always the first in my class...until now. I don't know what got into me.
I'm so angry at myself; I knew I should have studied harder. Ever since I was a
little girl, I've dreamt of delivering my Valedictorian speech at Graduation...just
like Mom, just like you, just like most of my cousins...now, my shot at being
Valedictorian is pretty much over. I feel awful; I feel like I've disappointed
everyone, including myself...Why didn't I try harder, I should have paid more
attention to my grades. My Dad would tell me, "I know your smart sweetheart,
I know you feel like you've got it nailed, but it wouldn't hurt to do just a little
extra credit to pad your average." But noooo! I was too smart for that...You
know most kids would have celebrated the grades I got, but not me, it's like I
broke some sacred chain!...Well it's finally over, and there's nothing I can do
about it, but cry a little tear and get on with life. But you know what's
ironic?...As bad as I feel right now, it's like a giant load has been lifted off my
shoulders...it's like I'm ...........FREE!
Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be prepared to
perform it on stage on ________________________. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction
in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the
audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun
with it, take on traits of the character. Traits of the character would be how they walk and or move
around, and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd together without
looking and so on.
Clueless
Doggett – Theatre 1
Cher: Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong
about Elton, I was wrong about Christian, and now Josh hates me. It
all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion, I was just totally
clueless...
Oh and this whole Josh and Ty thing was wiggin' me more than
anything. I mean, what was my problem? Ty is my pal, I don't
begrudge her a boyfriend. I really... (looks into a store window)
Oooh! I wonder if they have that in my size! What does she want with
Josh anyway? He dresses funny, he listens to complaint rock, he's not
even cute in a conventional way... I mean, he's just like this slug that
hangs around the house all the time! Ugh! And he's a hideous dancer,
couldn't take him anywhere. Wait a second, what am I stressing about,
this is like, Josh. Okay, okay......so he's kind of a Baldwin. What
would he want with Ty, she couldn't make him happy, Josh needs
someone with imagination, someone to take care of him, someone to
laugh at his jokes in case he ever makes any...the suddenly....(pause)
Oh my god! I love Josh! I'm majorly, totally, butt crazy in love with
Josh! But now I don't know how to act around him. I mean normally
I'd strut around in my cutest little outfits, and send myself flowers and
candy but I couldn't do that stuff with Josh.
Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be prepared to
perform it on stage on ________________________. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction
in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the
audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun
with it, take on traits of the character). Traits of the character would be how they walk and move around,
and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd together without
looking and so on.
"Grandma's House"
Shannon has lots of plans for her Saturday, and one of them, Doesn't include
going to Grandma's house. On the other hand, Dad's really into it, and tries to
get his daughter to understand the importance of visiting Grandma, and to
appreciate her, while she's still around.
Shannon: Oh Daaaaaaad!...Do we have to go to Grandma's house? I don't know what
makes you think going to Grandma's house is so much fun, you get up early and polish the
car like we're going someplace cool, like the beach. Is it just me, or does her house smell
like an old antique store couch...Yuk! And besides that, I'm the one she latches onto, to
listen to all her old stories...well, I'm sorry if I can't appreciate her "WISDOM" right
now...and Dad, let's face it, even you can admit the lady's a little bit crazy. One day I was
going into the kitchen to get myself a drink and I heard her talking to somebody, I didn't
want to disturb her, so I was really quiet. She was asking Grandpa how much salt he'd like
in the stew,.....and he's been dead for ten years! I mean, come on! And another thing, I'm
sorry, but her cooking is awful too...and OH!...OH!...and what was that disgusting stuff
she made us last time for supper...BOILED OKRA?...That's just wrong! It felt like a hairy
clam going down my throat. It took me three or four sips of diet Cherry Coke with lemon
after each bite to get it down, and stay down....eeeeew I can still taste it! Dad can't we just
skip this visit? I mean, Christmas is only four months away. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if
we just called her.....Pleeease!
Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be prepared to
perform it on stage on ____________________________________________________________.
THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major
deduction in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that
person talking to the audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big,
talk loud enough, have fun with it, take on traits of the character. Traits of the character would
be how they walk and or move around, and how the sound when they speak. Your character
should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd without looking and so
on.
Leave Me Alone! By Neil Simon
(A couple of days ago, Sophie Rauschmeyer moved next door to Andy and Norman who runs a
magazine called "Fallout." Norman has been romantically pestering her since twelve minutes after
she introduced herself to him, and she's finally speaking out.)
Sophie: Mr.Cornell, I have tried to be neighborly, I have tried to be friendly and I have tried
to be cordial...I don't know what it is that you're trying to be. That first night I was
appreciative that you carried my trunk up the stairs...The fact that it slipped and fell five
flights and smashed to pieces was not your fault...I didn't even mind the personal
message you painted on the stairs. I thought it was crazy, but sorta sweet. However,
things have now gone too far...I cannot accept gifts from a man I hardly know...Especially
canned goods. And I read your little note. I can guess the gist of it even though I don't
speak Italian. This has got to stop, Mr. Cornell. I can do very well without you leavin' little
chocolate-almond Hershey bars in my mailbox-they melted yesterday, and now I got
three gooey letters from home with nuts in 'em-and I can do without you sneakin' into my
apartment after I go to work and paintin' my balcony without tellin' me about it. I stepped
out there yesterday and my slippers are still glued to the floor. And I can do without you
tying big bottles of eau de cologne to my cat's tail. The poor thing kept swishin' it
yesterday and nearly beat herself to death...And most of all, I can certainly do without you
watchin' me get on the bus every day through that high-powered telescope. You got me
so nervous the other day, I got on the wrong bus. In short, Mr. Cornell. And I don't want
to have to say this again, LEAVE ME ALONE !!!!
You will memorize this monologue and perform it on
stage. DUE DATE: ____________________
THIS WILL BE A MAJOR GRADE
Romeo and Juliet is one of Shakespeare's most beloved plays, having been turned into paintings, ballets,
and several operas. Its hero even became a common noun: "a romeo" used to mean a lover. But it is
largely Juliet who makes the play come alive. Although the plot describes her as absurdly young, her
passion is expressed with a fine intelligence and wit which makes her irresistible. This most famous of all
love scenes shows Romeo at first lusting after the young girl he has just met at the masked ball where he
has gone in disguise (because his family is feuding with hers); but she manages eventually to steer his
thoughts toward marriage. Romeo has clambered over the wall into the orchard of the Capulet family
when he sees the candlelight appear in Juliet's bedroom window, which he immediately compares to the
rising sun.
Juliet:
O Romeo, Romeo!
wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
Male Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be
prepared to perform it on stage on ______________. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction
in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the
audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun
with it, take on traits of the character). Traits of the character would be how they walk and move around,
and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd together without
looking and so on.
Arrest Us for What? Wearing Big Pants?
I’m skating on the sidewalk and this guy tears out of his shop like I’m the
Unabomber or something. "Get a job, you punk!" Who’s he think he is? Get a job.
I’m not doing anything to you. As far as I can see, this isn’t your sidewalk. I’ve been
here all day and I haven’t crashed into one person. Maybe if he worried less about
skaters scaring off his precious customers and more about not selling garbage his
store wouldn’t be going under. This is the same guy who threatened to call the cops
on us last week. I wish he HAD called them. What are the cops going to do—arrest
us? For what? For wearing big pants? There’s no law against skateboards. Call me a
punk. I wish he did call the cops. I wonder what the penalty is for a grown man
assaulting a juvenile. Not that anyone would’ve come anyway. The cops are too
busy rolling bums and eating donuts to mess around with "skatepunks" who might
actually fight back. Skatepunks! What’s that about? Just because we skate, does that
make us juvenile delinquents? I have a B average in school, I don’t smoke or drink,
and I never cut class in my life. I don’t even sneak into the movies. They don’t like
the way we dress, so they assume we’re criminals. My Dad has pictures of himself in
the sixties, with long hair and beads and stuff. He looks like a freak! And he’s
PROUD of it! Compared to them we look normal.
Male Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be
prepared to perform it on stage on ______________. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction
in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the
audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun
with it, take on traits of the character). Traits of the character would be how they walk and move around,
and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd together without
looking and so on.
Clerks
Chewlie's Rep: You're spending what? Twenty, thirty dollars a week
on cigarettes....Fifty-three dollars. Would you pay someone that much
money every week to kill you? Because that's what you're doing now,
by paying for the so-called privilege to smoke!....It's that kind of
mentality that allows this cancer-producing industry to thrive. Of
course we're all going to die someday, but do we have to pay for it?
Do we actually have to throw hard-earned dollars on a counter and
say, "Please, please, Mr. Merchant of Death, sir; please sell me
something that will give me bad breath, stink up my clothes, and fry
my lungs. ....Of course it's not that easy to quit; not when you have
people like this mindless cretin so happy and willing to sell you nails
for your coffin....Now he's going to launch into his rap about how he's
just doing his job; following orders. Friends, let me tell you about
another bunch of hate mongers that were just following orders; they
were called Nazis, and they practically wiped a nation of people from
the Earth...just like cigarettes are doing now! Cigarette smoking is the
new Holocaust, and those that partake in the practice of smoking or
selling the wares that promote it are the Nazis of the Nineties! He
doesn't care how many people die from it! He smiles as you pay for
your cancer sticks and says, "Have a nice day."
Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be prepared to
perform it on stage on _____________________________________________________________.
THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction
in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the
audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun
with it, take on traits of the character. Traits of the character would be how they walk and or move
around, and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd together without
looking and so on.
"Tommy Boy" (Male)
Tommy is a sophomore in high school. He's a nice looking teen, who loves to be around
his friends. He is outgoing, except when it comes to girls. Tommy's talking to his friend
Ivan after school while waiting for the bus.
Tommy: Dude, you'll never believe what happened to me today. It all started when I woke
up this morning. I just sprang out of bed and said to myself, "Today is going to be a great
day!" I got in the shower and found myself humming a cool song I heard the day before.
While I was combing my hair in the mirror, I noticed that not only was it a great hair day,
but my skin seemed different too....alive and glowing, and no it wasn't that new acne
cream I'd been using...it was LIFE! When I got on the bus, the girls seemed to look at me
differently, but heck who cares, they were looking at me! So I looked back at them and
they giggled. I was on top of the world! A few moments later, walking down the hallway,
it was like a movie, almost every group of girls turned to look at me, it started to become
really spooky actually. I got to my first period class and sat down. It's almost like I could
feel Jamie, that hottie that sits behind me in class, staring at the back of my head...It felt
great! And of course, I was called first to read my presentation to the class, so I strolled up
to the front of the room with a gleaming smile...I actually winked at this girl who
snickered at me in the front row...man was I getting bold! Right when I was getting ready
to start my presentation, the teacher called me aside...I thought I'd gone too far with the
winking, but decided not to lose my cool and casually stroll over to her to receive my
reprimand. Dude, when she started talking to me, my stomach dropped to my feet , and I
could feel my face turning as white as a ghost. It was like the whole day flashed before my
eyes. Well, I thanked the teacher anyway, turned away from the class, swallowed my pride
and zipped-up my fly.
Male Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be
prepared to perform it on stage on ______________. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction
in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the
audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun
with it, take on traits of the character). Traits of the character would be how they walk and move around,
and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.
MEMORIZATION TIP: Memorize one section at a time so that you can say it without looking at your
paper, then memorize the second section without looking, then say the 1st and 2nd together without
looking and so on.
That’s MY Dad!
I guess I must have been about eight. It was the first time my Dad took me to a real Major League
ballgame. Suddenly, I really had to go to the bathroom. When I got back to my seat, this GUY was in it.
This total stranger was in my seat, and he was talking to my Dad. And my Dad had his arm around the
guy’s shoulder—not in a weird way, but you know, like guys bonding. And they were laughing. My dad
used to put his arm around my shoulders like that! The men’s room was up a level from our seats, so I
saw them before they saw me. And all I could think was, why is he talking to that guy? That’s my seat!
That’s MY Dad!
I couldn’t move. I just stood there in the middle of the stadium frozen. I thought I’d been replaced. I wanted to
scream, "No, Dad! I’ll be a better son! Whatever it takes, I’ll do it! Dad!" But I couldn’t. I just stood there. I guess I
was crying.
This guy in a blue shirt came up and tried to find out what was wrong, but I couldn’t tell him. How could I tell him
I was dumped by my DAD? So he kind of pried open my fingers, where I was holding my ticket, and saw where
my seat was. He sort of pushed me along and we got down to my seat.
When we got there the guy stood up to let me sit down, and I saw who it was. "Hey, look who’s here," my Dad
said. "It’s Mr. Allen! What do you know—he’s a huge baseball fan just like you!"
Mr. Allen was my gym teacher. I’ve hated gym class ever since.
You will memorize this monologue and perform it on
stage. DUE DATE: ____________________
THIS WILL BE A MAJOR GRADE
Romeo and Juliet is one of Shakespeare's most beloved plays, having been turned into paintings, ballets,
and several operas. Its hero even became a common noun: "a romeo" used to mean a lover. But it is
largely Juliet who makes the play come alive. Although the plot describes her as absurdly young, her
passion is expressed with a fine intelligence and wit which makes her irresistible. This most famous of all
love scenes shows Romeo at first lusting after the young girl he has just met at the masked ball where he
has gone in disguise (because his family is feuding with hers); but she manages eventually to steer his
thoughts toward marriage. Romeo has clambered over the wall into the orchard of the Capulet family
when he sees the candlelight appear in Juliet's bedroom window, which he immediately compares to the
rising sun.
Romeo:
[JULIET appears above at a window]
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
The Shadow Box
by Michael Christofer
Role of Beverly (FEMALE)
Let me tell you something, as one whore to another . . . What you do with your ass is
your business. You can drag it through every gutter from here to Morocco. You can
trade it, sell it, or give it away. You can run it up a flagpole, paint it blue or cut it off if
you feel like it. I don’t care. I’ll even show you the best way to do it. That’s the kind
of person I am. But Brian is different. Because he happens to need you! And if that
is not enough for you, then you get yourself out of his life - fast. You take your
delicate sensibilities and your fears and your disgust and pack it up and get out. He’s
dying! He doesn’t need you for that! He can do it all by himself. You’re young,
intelligent, not bad looking . . . probably good trade on a slow market. Why hang
around? Unless of course you need the money. What does he do pay you by the
month? Or does it depend on how much you put out? (pause) Please. Just one
favor you owe him. Don’t hurt him with your hopes. Tell Brian goodbye for me, I’ve
got to catch my plane to Hawaii before the hangover hits me. (she starts to walk off
and turns back toward him) It’s funny; he always makes the same mistake. He
always cares about the wrong people.
By: Tennessee Williams
Margaret:
Yes, it's too bad because you cant wring their necks if they've got no
necks to wring! Isn't that right honey? Yep, they're no-neck monsters,
all no-neck people are monsters? (children shriek downstairs) Hear
them? Hear them screaming? I don't know where their voice boxes are
located since they don't have necks. I tell you I got so nervous at that
table tonight, I thought I would throw back my head and utter a
scream you could hear across the Arkansas border an' parts of
Louisiana an' Tennessee. I said to our charming sister-in-law, Mae,
"honey, couldn't you feed those precious little things at a separate
table with an oilcloth cover? They make such a mess an' the lace cloth
looks so pretty!" She made enormous eyes at me and said, "Ohhh,
nooooo! On Big Daddy's birthday? Why, he would never forgive me!"
Well, I want you to know, Big Daddy hadn't been at the table two
minutes with those five no-neck monsters slobbering and drooling
over their food before he threw down his fork an' shouted, "Fo' God's
sake, Gooper, why don't you put them pigs at a trough in th' kitchen?"Well, I swear, I simply could have di-ieed! Think of it, Brick, they've
got five of them and number six is coming. They've brought the whole
bunch down here like animals to display at a county fair. Why, they
have those children doin' tricks all the time! "Junior, show Big Daddy
how you do this, show Big Daddy how you do that, say your little
piece fo' Big Daddy, Sister. Show you dimples, Sugar. Brother, show
Big Daddy how you stand on your head!"- It goes on all the time,
along with constant little remarks and innuendos about the fact that
you and I have not produced any children, are totally childless and
therefore totally useless!- Of course it's comical but its also disgusting
since It’s so obvious what they're up to!
CLAIRE:
Well, I had an adventure today. Went into town, thought I'd shake 'em up a little,
so I tried to find me a topless bathing suit. Yes, I did. I went into what's-theirnames', and I went straight up to the swim-wear, as they call it, department and I
got me an eighteen-nineties schoolteacher type, who wondered what she could do
for me. And I felt like telling her, "Not much, sweetheart"....But I said, "Hello, there,
I'm in the market for a topless swimsuit." "A what, Miss?" she said, which I didn't
know whether to take as a compliment or not. "A topless swimsuit," I said. "I don't
know what you mean," she said after a beat. "Oh, certainly you do," I said, "no top,
stops at the waist, latest thing, lots of freedom." "Oh yes," she said, looking at me
like she was seeing the local madam for the first time, "those." Then a real sniff.
"I'm afriad we don't carry...those." "Well, in that case," I told her, "do you have any
seprates?" "Those we carry," she said, "those we do." And she started going
under the counter, and I said, "I'll just buy the bottoms of one of those." She came
up from under the counter, adjusted her spectacles and said, "What did you say?"
I said, "I said, 'I'll buy the bottom of one of those'." She thought for a minute, and
then she said, with ice in her voice, "And what will we do with the tops?" "Well," I
said, "Why don't you save 'em? Maybe bottomless swimsuits 'll be in next year."
Then the poor sweet thing gave me a look I couldn't tell was either a D-minus, or
she was going to send me home with a letter to my mother, and she said, sort of
far away, "I think you need the manager." And off she walked.