Directions: Read the thesis statement, note its strengths/weaknesses, and rewrite it to make it stronger. Review each topic sentence and circle Y for Yes or N for No on whether it is an argument, connects to the thesis, and/or is too broad or vague. Be prepared to explain WHY.
SAMPLE STUDENT
THESIS STATEMENT
SAMPLE STUDENT TOPIC SENTENCES IS THE TOPIC
SENTENCE AN
DOES THE
TOPIC
IS THE TOPIC
SENTENCE TOO
In the book Night by Elie Wiesel, Elie changes over the course of the book for the good, but also for the bad.
Rewrite thesis:
In his memoir, Night, Elie Wiesel shows the atrocities of the Holocaust, and how they’ve affected him over the years.
Rewrite thesis:
In the book Night by Elie Wiesel, the main character Elie has gone through so many things during the Holocaust that have changed him as a person.
Rewrite thesis:
Elie’s character changes in quite a few ways, and one of those ways is his faith.
Another change in Elie’s character is that he lost his sensitivity and humaneness in the processes of dehumanization and desensitization.
Elie’s time in concentration camps had many impacts, but one of the biggest ones was his loss of faith.
“For the fist time, I felt anger rising within me. Why should I sanctify His name?” (33)
But Elie’s faith isn’t the only thing that changed.
Elie travels to the first camps – Auschwitz and Birkenau, side by side.
After days in the concentration camp, the
Jews are treated like animals in captivity.
Another thing that changes Elie is his loss of faith.
A last thing that changes Elie is his loss of innocence.
ARGUMENT (VS.
FACT)?
Y or N
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SENTENCE
LOGICALY
CONNECT TO
THE THESIS?
Y or N
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BROAD OR
VAGUE?
Y or N
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SAMPLE STUDENT
THESIS STATEMENT
SAMPLE STUDENT TOPIC SENTENCES
In his memoir, Night, Elie Wiesel shows the horrific events of the Holocaust, but also shows that it had a positive impact on his character.
Rewrite thesis:
In the book, Night, Elie Wiesel survives living in many concentration camps because of the faith he had in God and his father.
Rewrite thesis:
Elie Wiesel in the book Night describes his experiences in surviving the
Holocaust and leaves evidence of himself changing throughout.
Rewrite thesis:
Several aspects about Elie’s character had changed throughout his experience in the camps.
Another aspect of Wiesel’s character that had changed was to never give in or give up.
At the beginning of the book, Elie and his family get sent to the ghetto.
Then things get worse and Elie stops believing in God’s mercy and will to save the Jews.
After Elie’s father dies, he is just a machine that doesn’t have emotions or feelings.
Elie changing can be seen at first glance when he arrives at Auschwitz.
Later in the book, at the camp of Buna, we see yet again Elie changing.
Finally we see at the end of the book a final reflection on how Elie has changed.
IS THE TOPIC
SENTENCE AN
ARGUMENT (VS.
FACT)?
Y or N
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DOES THE
TOPIC
SENTENCE
LOGICALY
CONNECT TO
THE THESIS?
Y or N
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IS THE TOPIC
SENTENCE TOO
BROAD OR
VAGUE?
Y or N
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