FIRST LESSON: Exodus 18: 1-27
SECOND LESSON: Acts 6: 1-7
October 10, 2010
“Recipe for Disaster: Try to Do Everything Yourself”
Sermon © Lisa C. Farrell
One evening, a newlywed called her mother in tears. “Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandma's meat loaf for dinner tonight and it was horrible. I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one she wrote out by hand in her cookbook. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for Tommy because he loves meat loaf.
What could have gone wrong?”
Her mother replied soothingly, “Well, dear, let's go through the recipe.
You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out.”
“OK,” the bride sniffled. “Well, it starts out, 'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef'...’”
Yes, therein lies the problem. Following recipes requires some common sense. Common sense can be lacking in even the most intelligent people, however. Moses unwittingly found himself following a recipe for disaster. It had nothing to do with meatloaf, but everything to do with the fact that both times and circumstances had changed.
Moses tried to do everything himself, without considering the fact that he was now responsible for a lot of people. The Bible gives the number of men as
600,000, which if we include women and children makes the total as many as two million people. There is another possibility, however. The Hebrew word
“elef” conventionally translated as “thousand”, can mean other things as well, such as “family”, “tribal unit” or even “leader”. Using this range of possibilities some biblical scholars have estimated the number of Israelites at about 20,000 for the whole group. If we compare this with the numbers of prisoners claimed by Egyptian pharaohs in their campaigns, the numbers match. But regardless of whether the number is 20,000, two million, or somewhere in between, it would still be impossible for Moses to take care of everyone on an individual basis.
We don’t know when Moses sent his wife and two sons back to live with his father-in-law. Maybe at some point during the plagues things got too stressful for him. But the fact is, a lot of time has gone by, and apparently it
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hasn’t even occurred to him to send for them. Just why did he keep putting off and putting off his primary responsibilities as a husband and father? Because he was too busy coping with the constant demands of the people.
Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, was a wise man. Once he knew things were truly safe for his daughter and two grandsons, he packed them up and brought them to Moses himself. While there he had time to observe, and he quickly sized up the situation. Moses was trying to take care of all the people individually. Such a task was impossible. And because he was overwhelmed, all he could do was react to the needs brought before him. He had no time to plan or pray. A leader needs to be proactive, looking ahead. But Moses spent every day all day solving problems and settling disputes.
Moses had his own reasons for trying to do everything: First, he apparently believed that every time someone asked him for help, he had to personally help them. In the lingo of our time, he had no boundaries. He couldn’t say no. Anyone who wanted to see him could see him, provided they were willing to stand in line. This problem is rooted in a virtue—compassion.
Second, Moses seems to have assumed that no one else could do what he was doing. The people came to him to discern God’s will. He thought he had cornered the market in that department. While he probably didn’t realize it, this problem is actually rooted in a vice—vanity.
Finally, Moses seems to have lost all clarity about his calling. He had the leadership bit right, but he didn’t understand the nature of leadership. A leader cannot possibly meet the demands of everyone. A leader must train others and delegate responsibility.
It is quite possible that the apostles thought of Jethro’s advice to Moses when their own difficulties arose. The Church was growing, but the number of leaders had not changed, and the demands were beginning to get out of hand.
The apostles were being run ragged. And of course, the greater the number of people, the greater the opportunity for conflict. This particular conflict was over distribution of food to widows. The solution was to create a new group of people to handle the day-to-day pragmatic issues of this kind, while the apostles concentrated on spiritual matters. These new leaders, called deacons, were chosen because of their spiritual maturity and faithfulness. The new system worked.
Moses had to be told to let go of the reins and delegate. The apostles were happy to give the job to someone else. We fit both descriptions. There are a number of reasons why we try to do everything ourselves. Being the daughter of the woman with the cleanest house in Wynnewood, I’m very familiar with the top three.
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No one else does it to our standard.
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Related, but not identical, no one else does it the way we want it done.
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No one else does it when we want it done.
Persuading my mother that she should no longer climb ladders to take down curtains and clean windows is a battle we are only now beginning to win. Apart from my mother’s clean house, however, there are other situations and motivations. Delegating can also be hard because we lose control over the
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process and no longer know everything that’s going on. Alternatively, we can’t be a martyr if we let someone else help. Guilt can be a very effective tool. Or we could genuinely have low self-esteem and think we should do all the work so others can be free to do the very important things they have to do. At a practical level it can also be a simple matter that it takes too much time to train someone else. It’s just easier to do it our self. Finally, especially when dealing with kids, teens and co-workers with attitude, it’s just not worth the hassle of fighting people in order to get them to shoulder their responsibility.
Unfortunately there is one huge downside to trying to do everything ourselves. Eventually we turn into toast. And because we’re spread too thin, we end up not taking care of the things that are our responsibility, and doing everything else poorly.
The principles laid down before us can be applied to many situations, but they can also be misused. Some people hear the advice to delegate and see it as a great opportunity to do nothing. Calling it “setting boundaries” makes it even sound downright noble. There is, however, a happy medium between micromanaging the world and being a couch potato. Moses did not just drop everything and leave the people in the lurch. He did the responsible thing. He found and trained leaders. This freed him up to do the things he was really called to do. Instead of just reacting to life, he could then respond to it.
No one can do everything, and in churches what often happens is a small group of people try to do everything, and then they burn out. Oddly enough, this seems to be the case even in very large congregations. The number of active people is roughly the same, whether there are 100 members or 500 members. Most of these hard workers would dearly love to share the responsibilities with others. But for those of us who do tend to go global, who do take on ten projects as once, who are convinced that our own personal detailed involvement is indispensible, there’s a message here. Regardless of what sphere of our lives we are talking about, trying to do everything does not work. We have to learn to let go, and let God. If we want to keep our equilibrium physically, mentally and spiritually, like Moses we have to recognize that we aren’t the only ones God can work through. We don’t have to control and know every detail. The job will get done, even if it is not the way we would have done it. Someone else might even have a better idea! No one individual has all the answers or all the skills needed. What is truly wonderful
to behold, is when each person fulfills his or her own calling, and we work together as a team. Not only is the burden lighter, the result is far better.
Amen.
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