The Limerick
A limerick is a five line nonsense poem with an anapestic meter and has a
rhyme scheme of A, A, B, B, A. Lines 1,2, and 5 are trimeter and lines 3
and 4 are dimeter. Limericks often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia,
idioms, or puns. The last line of a good limerick contains the PUNCH LINE
or "heart of the joke."
No researcher has been able to explain the origin of the limerick or why this
humorous rhyme is called as such. Languor Reed, the only collector of
limericks, toiled valiantly with their history, but all he can commit his
research to is that “this peculiar form of verse was brought directly to
Limerick, Ireland by way of the Irish Brigade, then attached to the French
army from 1691-1791.”
A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed!
There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
That when she assayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in!
There once was a lady, Ilene,
There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who lived on distilled kerosene
Who ate a green apple and died,
But she started absorbin',
While her lover lamented,
A new hydrocarbon
The apple fermented,
And since then she'd never benzene.
And made cider inside her inside.
There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor!
There once was a poet named Dan,
Who's poetry would never scan.
When told this was so,
He said, "Yes, I know;
It's because I try to put every possible syllable into the very last line that I
can!"
A father once said to his son,
“The next time you make up a pun,
Go out in the yard,
And kick yourself hard,
And I shall begin when you’ve done.”
There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
“Curiosity’s not in me head,”
Said a lazy young fellow named Ted,
“So I ain’t gonna look
In your silly old book –
I’m gonna just stay stupid instead!”
Myra Cohn Livingston
A witch from her Nome igloo home
Through a blizzard decided to roam.
Though winds tossed her about,
She’d just laugh and sing out,
There’s N-N-No place, N-N-No place like N-N-Nome.
There once was a group-no a school
Of witches who lived in a pool.
They swam and they fished and
They played as they wished
(And they always wore hats as a rule.)
(The above poem had an accompanying picture of witches swimming
and just the tips of their hats were showing above the waves so that it looked like sharks.)
Witches on motorized brooms
Shouldn’t party or fly in small rooms.
For when they take off,
Folks will grumble and cough
From the noise and the smell of the fumes!
A Sleeper from the Amazon
Put nighties of his gramazon
The reason, that
He was too fat
To get his own pajamazon.
Though a young man of football physique,
His heart was exceedingly wique,
While he much loved the maid
He was so afraid
That he hadn’t the courage to spique.
A Barber who lived in Batavia
Was known for his fearless behavia.
An enormous baboon
Broke in his saloon,
But he muttered, “I’m damned if I’ll shavia!”
There was a young woman named “Yats,”
Whose cooking was done in big vats.
When I went to her house,
She fed me stewed mouse!
Now I know why her friends are all cats!
There was once a young caveman named Dave
There was a wild witch of the West,
Who thought that her spells were the best.
So, she challenged a friend
To a duel to the end
‘Twas a spelling bee laid her to rest!
There lived once a young gal and her crow,
Who slept forty years in a row!
They’d both thought it best
To get beauty rest
And now all agrees that they glow!
A devil sailed west out of Rome
And had docked near a volcanic dome.
He said, “Gee this is hot,
But I like it a lot,
For it sure does remind me of home!”
There was once an old house on the hill,
Whose old shutters would never stay still.
They’d creak and they’d clang;
Then they’d shut with a bang Yes, until they would hang from their sill!
Whose bad manners no soul could e’er save!
When he reached for some bread,
He fell on his fat head
And rolled back to his big, blackened cave.
There one was a man from Peru
Who dreamed of eating his shoe
He awoke with a fright
In the middle of the night,
And found that his dream had come true!
In a castle that had a deep moat
Lived a chicken, a duck and a goat.
They had wanted an out
And they wandered about
But they needed a sturdy new boat.
There once was a man from Great Britain
Who interrupted two girls at their knittin'.
Said he with a sigh,
"That park bench, well I
Just painted it right where you're sittin'."
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Ogden Nash
There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
An epicure dining at Crewe
Found a very large bug in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too."
A certain young fellow named Beebee
Wished to wed with a lady named Phoebe
“But,” said he, “I must see
What the clerical fee
Be before Phoebe be Beebee.”
There was an old man at the cape
Who made himself garments of crape,
When asked, “Will they tear?”
He replied, “Here and there,
But they keep such a beautiful shape!”
There was a young girl named O’Neill,
Who went up in the great ferris wheel.
But when half way around
She looked at the ground
It then cost her an eighty cent meal.
A farm pitcher, McDowell.
Pitched an egg at a batter named Owl.
They cried, “Get a hit!”
But it hatched in the mitt
--and the umpire called it a “fowl!”
There was a young lady from Gloucester
Who complained that her parents both bossed her
So, she ran off to Maine
Did her parents complain?
Not at all – they were glad to have lost her!
There once was a fly on the wall;
I wonder why it didn’t fall…
Was it because its feet stuck?
Or was it just luck?
Or does gravity miss things so small!?
There was once a young caveman named Dave
Whose bad manners no soul could e’er save!
When he reached for some bread,
He fell on his head,
And rolled back to his big, blackened cave.
There was a farmer from Leeds,
Who ate six packets of seeds,
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass
And he couldn’t sit down for the weeds!
Bad Marisa went into the s&.
She had thrown some at our marching b&.
She hit Ms. Fedinetz.
Who had smashed clarinets,
In the corner, the group made her st&.
We had wanted to travel to ME.
It was where we would choose a doME.
We had boarded a jet
That was bumpy then wet,
When I spilled my whole plate of chow ME.
YOUR LIMERICK WRITE A LIMERICK THAT:
1) has five lines (5 pts)
2) has an a,a,b,b,a rhyme scheme
3) has TRUE anapestic meter
4) lines 1, 2, and 5 are trimeter
5) lines 3 and 4 are dimeter
6) is as humorous as all you’ve read
7) lines 1- 4 are a build up to the last
line – its end is complete
8) has your name and things about you in the rhyme
9) Capitalize the first letter of each line
10) Punctuate as lines like sentences.
11) Title the poem and capitalize the first letter of the important words – no
other punctuation or underlining/bolding marks
12) Print it on composition paper in pen.
13) Put your name and date at the bottom.