Read Tillie Olsen's "I stand Here Ironing" and compose a short portrait of Emily from the school
counselor's point of view. Why is s/he so worried? What kind of behaviors do you think Emily may
be exhibiting at school? Do not invent symptoms. Bck up your psychoanalysis with evidence from
the text.
The story, “I Stand Here Ironing,” written by Tillie Olsen is a moving account of
a poor mother’s view of the way she raised her daughter, Emily. This story was published
in 1961, and critics believe carried many personal and autobiographical moments. The
central concept, quite ingenious, is by utilizing the metaphor of a repetitive task or
motion, certain ideas, self-criticisms, rememberances of past actions, etc. become part of
the way the mother handles her own psychological underpinnings. One interesting
psychological view on this is a comparison to the repetitive task of “ironing” to the
mantra chants that put Tibetan monks into a transcendental state, a state which allows
more free thinking. Additionally, there is a strong metaphor of using the tool “iron,” to
represent the way in which she wants to “iron out the issues” with her daughter, much as
the creases in the fabrics are smoothed, the thoughts in the mother’s mind wish to smooth
out the bumps in her paternal relationship.
Utilizing the text, the mother’s reminiscing, we, acting as Emily’s school
counselor can infer and paint a brief psychological portrait of Emily, knowing, however,
that it is based on a mother’s reminiscences and thoughts rather than personal interviews,
and is certainly subject to interpretation. For example, Emily is often both shy and
retiring and starving for attention by acting out. Perhaps this combination comes from the
idea that her mother says, “she was a child seldom smiled at,” combined with the view
that, for the time period, —"thin and dark and foreign-looking at a time when every
little girl was supposed to look or thought she should look a chubby blonde
replica of Shirley Temple.” What child would not balk at those contridictions –
looking in the mirror daily and seeing a dark child, no dolls, magazine or media
pictures that were anything but representations of what she was not, and the
fact that she was not viewed in a world full of smiles, kind words, and/or positive
stimuli.
With the mother’s second marriage, in fact, Emily’s psychological make up
seemed usurped but another type of child within the household, Susan. Susan
was, of course, younger, and seemed to have been raised WITH smiles, was selfassured, confident, and at peace with her own sense of self. The mother
indicates that, once Susan was in the house, Emily seemed to act out with
“comedic “ actions designed, both at home and school, to seem to be a call that
says, “World, look at me – I can be special, too.” However, as the mother notes,
the “comedic” behavior has its own set of consequences that are not necessarily
positive for Emily, or her family.
Clearly, Emily is in search of her own identity, apart from her mother, her
family, her schoolmates, and her teachers. While her mother thinks that Emily
believes that, “You think because I am (your) mother I have a key,” it is likely
the mother’s own sense of lack and sadness that she could not connect with
Emily, rather than Emily’s own sense of inner sadness in understanding her
position within the social fabric of the time. Behaviors like this seem to indicate
that there is a diametrically opposed paradigm at work – mother thinks she
should have acted differently to influence behaviors for Emily; Emily seems to
think that her out of home behaviors could have been more positive had she had
a greater fusion of motherhood and childhood.
The mother is disturbed but has no answers, that will help her go back in time
and allow Emily's childhood to be one that was not filled with fear, bad
secondary care giving and a constant look of worry on her mothers face. She
raised her oldest child, without the father, as he could not provide for them
and therefore walked away. Necessity made it so the mother had to send
Emily to her father's family at least twice, where she became a different child.
When she was with her mother she often had bad secondary care givers,
cruel nursery teachers and angry old ladies, who were willing to watch her for
free.
Thus, Emily as a person, throughout her school days, was torn between the
idea of acceptance and rejection – of being a part of the group and social circles, and
finding ways to act out to become accepted, “smiled at,” and become at peace with
herself, her surroundings, and her family.