Writing Assignment:
Struggle of the Individual – Controlling idea essay
Tim Casey
This assignment is a major part of a genre study 11th grade students have been participating in.
Students are reading, responding to, and analyzing poems to help them learn the foundations necessary
for creating their own poems. This writing assignment is geared towards teaching these foundations as
well as guiding the students towards successfully mastering sections of the New York State Regents.
The students have entered this section of the genre study after having read multiple poems by a
multitude of authors and having discussed in detail many of the conventions of written poetry. For
example, the students are well versed in the scheme and layout of poetry as well as diction, body,
imagery, and theme. Now that the students have read a large amount of poetry, they will take two
assigned poems, “Maybe Dats Your Pwoblem Too” by Jim Hall and “Deadly Routine” by Ronald W.
Hull, and write an essay about a controlling idea in both. The topic of the poems is the struggle of the
individual within society.
I will begin by discussing the struggles of individuals. This will not be an entirely new subject
to the students. This theme will have been touched upon in many of the readings they have done up to
this point. The students will preface this assignment with journal and free-writing exercises. In order to
get the students to think about this theme, I will use some discussion-starters and have them write their
responses in their journals. I will give discussion starters such as, How do I fit into society?, How do
my peers affect my actions?, Is it hard to be different? How can I change my life?. While some of these
topics may be a little large for students, 11th graders should be able to come up with some interesting
responses as long as they have previously discussed this theme within the class. After the students have
been given time to respond in their journals, I will model some of my own responses. This will make
the students more comfortable with their answers and let them know what kind of understanding I will
be expecting from them. For example, in response to the question, “Is it hard to be different,” I would
explain to them that I think the world expects certain people to act certain ways and sometimes it is
very hard to be an outsider. I will tell them that when I was in school, I did not always fit in and it was
very hard to find a place where I felt comfortable. Being honest and open with the students will make
them more comfortable sharing their responses. After I have shared some of my own responses, I will
ask the students to share out to the class in order for everyone to see the variety of responses that arise
from the theme. Showing the connections among all of the students' ideas is a great way to bring the
class together. While the students are sharing and discussing, I will be at the front board writing their
responses down. After all the students have shared, I will ask them to help me synthesize these
responses in regards to the theme “The struggle of the individual.” It is important for the class to take
all of these varied responses and show how they are linked to the theme in question. These exercises
allow the students to read, write, listen, and understand poetry in a real and meaningful way.
After the students have had a sufficient introduction to the themes, I will read them the two
poems aloud. First, I will read “Maybe Dats Your Pwoblem Too” by Jim Hall. I think this is an
excellent poem to interest the students. It is funny, it is written in an interesting way, and it has a strong
message attached to it. After I read the poem aloud to the class, I will ask them to write down their
initial responses in their journals. They do not have to comment on the theme or the writing, but merely
their initial emotional response to the poem. After they have finished their responses, I will lead the
class in a clarification discussion. They will be allowed to ask any questions about the poem. I will help
them by giving them some sentence starters (I got lost here because..., I need you to reread the part
where..., I know I'm on the right track because...). This poem is written in a very confusing dialect, so
the students may have many questions about what is being said. Most commonly, students are confused
by the use of the word “buin.” I will clarify that the writer uses an childish dialect and “buin” is
actually “burn.” I will also go over other words that are spelled differently. The students may not need
this clarification because when the poem is read aloud is much easier to understand. I will then read the
poem aloud for a second time and have the students add to their initial reaction to the poem. This time I
will stress that they should focus on the conventions of the poem. They will use new sentence starters
to modify their reactions (At first I thought _____, but now I..., I'm getting a different picture here
because..., So, the big idea is..., The author uses _____ to do _____). The time alloted for this response
will be longer because the students will have to critically think about the poem. Once again, I will
model these responses by answering these questions myself and sharing them with the class. After the
sharing is finished, I will read the the second poem, “Deadly Routine,” by Ronald W. Hull. The
students will go through the same process with the second poem to ensure that they have an equal
understanding of the form and feel. Hull's poem deals with the same subject matter, but approaches it in
a much more traditional sense. There will probably be little difficulty with students understanding this
poem, but if clarification is needed, I will provide it. After both poems have been analyzed, the student
will be given class time to think about the similarities and differences between them. This can be done
in their journals or with the aide of a graphic organizer.
Next, I will give the students the following assignment and rubric:
Task:
After reading “Maybe Dats Your Pwoblem Too” and “Deadly Routine,” write a detailed essay about
how each poem deals with the theme of the struggle of the individual. This essay must include a
discussion of both poems and use specific examples from each text. In addition, the essay must show
how the poet uses specific literary devices to highlight the assigned theme.
Purpose and Audience:
This essay should be written to your peers who have already read both of the poems. You are to make
your readers aware of how the authors of each poem use literary devices to show the theme of the
struggle of the individual.
Format:
When complete, this essay should be 2-3 pages long, typed, double spaced, 12-point font, Times New
Roman, standard margins. Because we have all read the poems, no citation will be necessary.
Self-Assessment Checklist: Before handing in your essay, complete the following checklist to ensure
you have included all of the requirements.
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Did I clearly explain the controlling idea about the struggle of the individual?
Did I include the title and author of both poems?
Did I properly use quotations when referring to the title of a poem?
Did I use specific quotes from the poems?
Did I seamlessly integrate and explain the quotes I used?
Did I explain how the poet used specific literary devices to enhance the meaning of the poem?
Did I organize the essay in an easy to follow manner?
Did I use sophisticated and grade appropriate vocabulary and sentence structure?
Did I follow the specific guidelines for format?
Did I check my essay for grammatical errors?
Schedule and Grading:
You will be graded on the criteria from the attached rubric.
First Draft Due:________
*This draft will not be formally graded, but must be attached to the final draft.
Peer Review Due________
*The peer review will be graded for the quality of your responses and must be handed in with
the final draft. Make sure you clearly state who the writer and reviewer are.
Final Draft Due:_________
*The final draft will be formally graded with the attached rubric. The first draft and peer review
must be handed in with the final draft.
The in-depth analysis required for this assignment is one step towards the students' culminating project
of creating their own piece of poetry and submitting it to their portfolio of work. The assignment also
teaches the students many of the necessary skills for the Regents. They will learn critical thinking skills
and the ability to deeply analyze a text on its own and in comparison to a similar text. While the
students have written analysis essays before, this assignment introduces them to a new genre and a new
way of thinking.
At this point I will do some pre-writing exercises to ensure the students fully understand the
topic and are able to effectively communicate a controlling idea within an essay. The students will take
their earlier reactions to the poem and discuss as a class their ideas in reference to the controlling idea
(the struggle of the individual). After this discussion, the students will do some brainstorming
exercises. This can be done in a variety of ways such as mind-maps, graphic organizers, or a more
formal outlining process. The students will take their responses and show how they relate to the
controlling idea. For example, my earlier response to the question “Is it hard to be different?” is a good
example. I said that sometimes it is hard to be different in society because people are expected to
behave in a certain way. I will explain that the peer pressure that comes with being different makes it
very hard to be an individual. Using my personal example, I will show the students how their own
responses can be directly linked to the assigned theme.
The assignment itself deals primarily with how the authors of the poems use different literary
techniques to highlight their central themes. The students have been reading a lot of poetry within this
unit and have discussed various literary techniques before this assignment. I expect them to incorporate
devices like rhyme scheme, diction, metaphor, and imagery into their assignments. To ensure they
know the type of analysis that I will be expecting, I will give an example of a literary device from each
poem. In “Maybe Dats Your Pwoblem Too,” I will point out that Jim Hall uses a childish dialect to
contrast the serious struggle that Spider-Man seems to have with himself. In a similar manner, Ronald
W. Hull uses an A/B A/B rhyme scheme to highlight the monotony and sameness that the speaker
seems to struggle with as an individual. Prior to these examples, it may be beneficial to have the
students break up into groups and discuss why they think that the dialect and rhyme scheme are
important to the theme of the poems. In this way, the students will have a chance to work on their own
and see what the teacher is looking for.
As with most genre studies, this foray into poetry, specifically this assignment, will be
accompanied with heavy revision. It is imperative that the students receive constructive criticism from
their peers as well as their teacher and are given the opportunity revise and refine their papers. This
experience will not only help the students feel more comfortable with their writing, but it will also
make them proud of their writing. Once the students complete their first draft, they will exchange their
paper with a peer who will revise it based on questions they will have created in class (with help from
the teacher). They will be told to constructively show the student how they can improve their paper.
After this peer review session, they will have the time to revise their papers before they are handed into
the teacher. I will look at each paper in-depth and comment on where the students succeeded and where
they can improve. It is at this point that I will monitor what the weak points are for a majority of
students and craft a mini-lesson to help the students. For example, if the students are having trouble
seamlessly and effectively integrating quotes within their writing, I will use direct instruction to show
them how to do so and then allow them to practice in groups with short examples from other poems.
The students will have one more chance to revise their paper and then it will be turned into the teacher
for final assessment.
With the completion of this assignment, the students will have learned many of the skills that
are necessary to succeed academically (critical thinking, analysis, comparing/contrasting). This
assignment is also integral for students who are creating their own poetry for submission in their
portfolio. They need to be able to read and analyze the conventions of poetry before they are able to use
these conventions to write their own poems.
NYS Standards
Standard 1: Students will read, write, listen, and speak for information and
understanding.
Standard 3: Students will read, write, listen, and speak for critical analysis and
evaluation.
Poems:
Maybe Dats Your Pwoblem Too
Jim Hall
All my pwoblems who knows,
maybe evwybody's pwoblems is due to da fact,
due to da awful twuth dat I am
SPIDERMAN.
I know, I know.
All da dumb jokes:
No flies on you, ha ha,
and da ones about what do I do wit all doze extwa legs in bed.
Well, dat's funny yeah. But you twy being
SPIDERMAN for a month or two.
Go ahead.
You get doze cwazy calls fwom da Gubbener
askin you to twap some booglar
who's only twying to wip off color TV sets.
Now, what do I cawre about TV sets?
But I pull on da suit, da stinkin suit,
wit da sucker cups on da fingers,
and get my wopes and wittle bundle of equipment
and den I go flying like cwazy
acwoss da town fwom woof top to woof top.
Till der he is.
Some poor dumb color TV slob
and I fall on him and we westle a widdle
until I get him all woped.
So big deal. You tink when you
SPIDERMAN
der's sometin big going to happen to you.
Well, I tell you what.
It don't happen dat way.
Nuttin happens.
Gubbener calls, I go.
Bwing him to powice,
Gubbener calls again,
like dat over and over.
I tink I twy sometin diffunt.
I tink I twy sometin excitin like wacing cawrs.
Sometin to make my heart beat at a difwent wate.
But den you just can't quit being sometin like
SPIDERMAN.
You SPIDERMAN for life.
Fowever.
I can't even buin my suit.
It won't buin.
It's fwame wesistent.
So maybe dat's youwr pwoblem too, who knows.
Maybe dat's da whole pwoblem wif evwytin.
Nobody can buin der suits, dey all fwame wesistent.
Who knows?
Deadly Routine
Ronald W. Hull
Wake-up. Out of bed.
Drag yourself to shower.
Stomach same old cereal,
At this ungodly hour.
Two cups of coffee,
Your head to clear.
Set out for work,
And drive your dear.
Outsourced parenting,
Was once the rage.
Now it is just,
Checked off the page.
Into the fast lane,
For a long commute.
Many stop and goes later,
We slide into the chute.
Of programmed tedium,
In our cubicled space.
A cog in the machinery,
Of corporate waste.
Take all the breaks,
That get you by.
Slip a long lunch,
Surf on the sly.
Have to leave early,
My child, you see.
Fight schoolyard traffic,
And errands for thee.
Microwave dinner,
Or fast food tonight.
Must catch the game,
Or not living right.
Pour a double,
And pay the bills.
Will they ever end?
These childhood ills?
Throw in a video,
And check the e-mail.
This life your living,
Is a private jail.
So it's off to bed.
To dream the same dream.
How to get rid of this boring life,
In your mind's endless scheme.
And then you get up,
And do it all over again.
Sample Essay
Tim Casey
English
11-19-08
Sample Essay
After reading Jim Hall's “Maybe Dats Your Pwoblem Too” and Ronald W. Hull's “Deadly
Routine,” it is clear that both poems thematically deal with the struggle of the individual. In these
specific cases, the authors highlight the struggle of being an individual in a society that expects people
to act a certain way. Both Jim Hall and Ronald Hull use literary and poetic devices to bring this
thematic element to the reader's attention.
Jim Hall's poem focuses on Spiderman and his desire to be somebody else. Spiderman is
struggling to be an individual because society says he has to be Spiderman. The poem is written in a
very interesting dialect that makes the character sound childish. For example, Hall writes, “You get
doze cwazy calls fwom da Gubbener / askin you to twap some booglar.” When looking at the words it
is clear that this is very serious subject matter. Spiderman is being called up by the governor to stop a
burglary. The use of the childish dialect reveals the struggle that Spiderman is having trying to be
“himself,” and not what people expect him to be. This dialect makes Spiderman seem like a small child
whining to his parents because he “doesn't want” to do what they expect of him. The poem goes on to
describe how Spiderman does not want to be Spiderman anymore. He says, “I tink I twy sometin
excitin like wacing cawrs. / Sometin to make my heart beat at a difwent wate.” Although Spiderman is
exciting to everyone else, he is bored with the routine of his life. He wants to be an individual. Also,
Jim Hall uses an interesting play on words with the word “wate.” Without the dialect, Spiderman is
saying he wants to do something that will make his heart beat at a different rate, but it can also be read
that he wants his heart to beat at a different weight. Spiderman's heart is heavy because he is trapped
being someone he knows he is not. The poem ends with a grand metaphor about Spiderman trying to
burn his suit. The speaker says that he is Spiderman for life because his suit is “fwame wesistent.” His
suit is a metaphor for his individuality. He can never be anything other than Spiderman because that is
who everyone thinks he is. This is the struggle that Spiderman is dealing with throughout the entire
poem. Jim Hall makes this connection more powerful because he brings it home to the reader. He says
that, “Nobody can buin der suits, dey all fwame wesistent.” Jim Hall wants the reader to know that
everyone is locked into their “place” in society and that it is very hard to break out and become an
individual. Ronald Hull's poem, “Deadly Routine,” deals with the same theme, but approaches it in a
much more traditional way.
Ronald Hull's poem, “Deadly Routine,” deals with a character who is tired of the monotony of
his life. Similar to Jim Hall's poem, the speaker seems to be stuck in his place and has no idea how to
break out and become an individual. One of the main poetic devices that Ronald Hull uses to convey
this meaning is the rhyme scheme. Throughout a majority of the poem he uses an A/B A/B rhyme
scheme. This monotony and sameness of the rhyme scheme highlights the monotony and sameness of
the character's life that he/she is desperately trying to break out of. Another device Ronald Hull uses is
the form of the poem. Each line is brief and to the point. This makes the poem feel like a long list of
things the character is required to to in his/her day. Each one of these notes is being “ Checked off the
page.” This shows the struggle the character is having at being an individual because his/her life is
devoted to the same list of things everyday with no control. This idea is solidified in the line, “This life
your living, / Is a private jail.” The metaphor of the character's life being a private jail shows the
helplessness of the character being an individual instead of a pawn in society. The author also links the
end of the poem back to the beginning creating a circular feeling. This creates an endless poem that
once again emphasizes the lack of control and individuality that the character has in his/her life.
Both poems deal with the same controlling idea of the struggle of the individual. Spiderman and
the unnamed narrator in “Deadly Routine” are stuck in the endless repetition of their boring lives. They
both want to break out of their routine and become individuals who have control over their destiny. Jim
Hall and Ronald W. Hull use specific poetic and literary devices such as dialect, metaphor, word play,
rhyme scheme, and form to accentuate the theme they want the reader to come away with after reading
their poems.
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5
4
3
2
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Meaning
Demonstrates a
thorough
understanding of
both poems and
thoughtfully
establishes a
controlling idea
between the two
Demonstrates an
understanding of
both poems and
establishes a
controlling idea
between the two
Demonstrates an
understanding of
both poems, but
only establishes a
controlling idea in
one
Demonstrates an
understanding of one
of the poems and
establishes a
controlling idea
Demonstrates minimal
understanding of the
poems and attempts to
establish a controlling
idea
Demonstrates no
understanding of the
poems and does not
attempt to establish a
controlling idea
Development
Quotes seamlessly
integrated to
support claims and
relevant literary
elements chosen
for both poems
Quotes are
integrated into the
text and literary
elements are
included to support
claims
Quotes are used
within the text and
are sufficiently
explained. Literary
elements are
included and
explained fairly well
Quotes are used
within the text and
literary elements are
mentioned, but are
not explained
Quotes are mentioned
within the text with
little explanation and
no literary elements are
included
No quotes are used
within the text and
there is no mention
of any literary
elements
Organization
Stays focused on
the controlling
idea and expertly
transitions from
one idea to the
next
Stays focused on
controlling idea and
successfully
transitions from one
idea to the next
Stays focused on
controlling idea and
adequately
transitions from one
idea to the next
Focus wavers
throughout and
attempts to transition
from one idea to the
next
Little focus throughout
with no transitions
from one idea to the
next
No focus or use of
transitions. The essay
is impossible to
understand
Language Use
Shows excellent
awareness of
audience and uses
high level
vocabulary, and
varied sentence
structure
Shows awareness of
audience and uses
good vocabulary
with some varied
sentence structure
Shows sufficient
awareness of
audience and uses
fair vocabulary with
some varied
sentence structure
Shows some
awareness of
audience and uses
mediocre vocabulary
with little variation in
sentence structure
Shows little awareness
of audience and uses
poor vocabulary with
no variation in
sentence structure
Shows no awareness
of audience and poor
vocabulary. No
variation in sentence
structure
Conventions
Has no spelling,
Has very few
grammar, or
spelling, grammar,
punctuation errors or punctuation
errors
Has several spelling,
grammar, and
punctuation errors,
but they do not
affect readability
Has spelling,
grammar, and
punctuation errors
that occasionally
make the essay
difficult to
understand
Has spelling, grammar,
and punctuation errors
that make the essay
difficult to read
Has spelling,
grammar, and
punctuation errors
that make the essay
impossible to read