The Master of Ceremonies
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Please be upstanding to welcome the Bride and Groom – Mr & Mrs
Wade.
My name is Roger Worthington and I’m your Master of Ceremonies for
this evening.
Over the evening I will rise from time to time to introduce various events
that have been planned. When I rise from my seat you will all be
perfectly silent and listen attentively as questions will be asked later.
Dinner will be served soon and the cutting of the cake will follow this.
There will then be a number of very short speeches and toasts.
I have been told that I can only speak for a couple of minutes,
because of my throat. If I go on too long, Tessa has threatened to cut
it! I presume this threat applies to all the speakers.
The speeches will be followed by a poem and then we all get to sing
and dance together to help Els and Jack celebrate this event in the
manner to which they are accustomed.
At this early stage I would like, on behalf of Els and Jack, to welcome
you all to their wedding reception and pass on to you their hope that
you have a fantastic evening.
That’s all from me at the moment but don’t forget to pay attention
when next I rise.
A Toast to The Bride and Groom
Ladies and Gentlemen
It is my honour to have been asked to propose the toast to the Bride
and Groom.
I must say that being asked to make a speech really is a tough job rather like being asked to sleep with the Queen - it's a great honour,
but no one really wants to do it!
It is normal for the father of the bride to make this speech but, as we
have witnessed already today, this is anything but a “normal wedding.”
Not only am I not the parent of either of the bridal party, I am in fact
the groom’s junior by 9 years.
Just to get the statistics out of the way - I’m also 9 years older than the
bride - or so it seems today. Doesn’t Els look enchanting?
My duties today are many and varied. I’m the chauffeur, the MC and
Bride’s Father. I’m not complaining however because I know Jack’s a
great believer in sharing the load so I presume he’s saving himself for
later.
You learn a lot about a person when you play golf with him for 15 years
or so. Jack’s a gentle man, a good father, he’s always been there for
Tim; he never cheats or swears and drinks only to be sociable. The worst
I’ve every heard him say is “Golly Gosh” which we all know is an very
mild expletive but Jack, I must tell you, in these enlightened days it’s
probably politically incorrect.
As you may know, Jack hasn’t been too well lately. He went to see the
Doc last week and the doctor suggested he gave up half his sex life.
"Which half," he asked, "talking about it or thinking about it?"
While I’ve known Els for many years, I have never played a round with
her (of golf that is, Oh!) so, I can only guess at some of her attributes.
She is clearly a beautiful and intelligent, well-travelled lady, she has
been a good mother and is very supportive of her new husband. We
know that Els has a great sense of humour and an appreciation of
fantasy and the ridiculous. Never loose this trait, Els, as Jack is far too
old to change. Most importantly Els is an incredibly patient lady as she
and Jack have been an item now for 10 years or so.
So, it's taken them more than 10 long years to get here today! Their
'lightning' romance puts me in mind of the story about the couple that
were engaged for 30 years. Eventually the wife-to-be laid on a nice
candle-lit dinner for her intended - with champagne, the works - and
whispered romantically "Isn't it time we thought about getting
married?" "Good heavens," he replied, "who would have us now?
Anyway, I’m here to toast the bride and groom so make sure you’ve
got a drink in your glasses; and while you do that I will reminisce about
a wedding I once went to where two of the guests were a Methodist
Minister and a Priest. When the Priest was offered a drink for the toast
he said, " I'll have a large whiskey please!" When the Minister was
offered the same, he said" No thanks, I'd sooner go with a Scarlet
woman than touch the demon drink!" The Priest promptly put his
whiskey back on the tray, and said, "I didn't know there was a choice!"
Now, I don't want to offend anybody, so if there's a Priest or Minister
present, I apologise - and if there's a Scarlet woman here, I'll meet you
on the 14th tee in 10 minutes!
Thank you for your kind indulgence, listening to my ramblings - now all
that remains is for me to ask you to be upstanding and to join me in a
special toast to the beautiful Else - the bride, and my handsome golfing
partner and her husband Jack - the groom!
The Bride and Groom! Mr & Mrs Jack Wade.
Intro of the Groom
Please join with me in welcoming the groom and my friend, Jack
Wade, who will propose a toast to “The Ladies”
Intro of the Best Man
To reply on behalf of the ladies and to read the telegram and e-mails
please welcome, the best man, Mr 2% himself, John McRobert
Other Speeches 1
To propose a toast to the families’ of the bride and groom, please
welcome to the microphone Marion Whittaker.
Other Speeches 2
Els’s brother, Jokki Rombouts will now reply on behalf of the families’ of
the bride and groom.
Other Speeches 3
Els’s brother Joeps Rombouts (Yup) – will recite a poem he has written
for Els and Jack.