Concept Definition Essay
Lindsay Rutledge
Love
I often wonder about the meaning of love in today’s society. I question if love truly exists
in my own heart. It is interesting to see how with every change in society, the emotion of love
changes along with it. People are changing how they attempt to find love and alter their
definitions of love itself. Whether you believe in love or not, the subject is almost impossible to
avoid in today’s world. Perhaps the multiple meanings of love, make it so ambiguous. The
history of love and famous stories of love are immersed in the literature people read everyday,
but do the ordinary people of today experience the kind of mystical love spoken of from the
past?
I hear the words “bye love,” as I leave the room. “Love,” is referring to me. I am not
Lindsay anymore, but “love.” It is said as if someone would say, “bye friend.” I wave goodbye
and say nothing. The words come from a friend of mine who feels the need to mention this term
at every chance available. It matters not to her whether this title or emotion is directed towards
acquaintances whom she wouldn’t share a soda with, close friends, or her own mother. I wonder
if it even an emotion or is it a title? Does she emit any minute bit of positive energy towards the
receiver of this message? No, she does it for selfish reasons. Because she uses a title that most
people associate with good feelings, she is perceived as sweet or caring. For her, the word “love”
doesn’t hold a specific meaning only reserved for certain people. Maybe for her she just naturally
associates people she knows, with people she loves.
This is actually disgusting to think about. Her careless utterance of one word invokes an
emotional response in the receivers no matter what. She does not mean these words. Once I
asked her if she really did love me. She laughed. She twitched with anxiety and I know she felt
uncomfortable. I tried to explain that every time she says those words I’m overcome with the
same feelings of anxiety. I generally say what I mean and mean what I say and appreciate it
when others do the same. I cannot believe that someone would purposely say something over and
over again and not truly mean the message.
The concept of love has been altered from describing a romantic endeavor to now
addressing people, discussing objects, and is marketed as a product itself.
Andrew Marvell explained love in his poem, “The Definition of Love.” He explains, “my
love is of a birth as rare as ‘tis for object strange and high: it was begotten by despair, upon
impossibility.” He describes how love is valuable, maybe because it is rare. If love was truly able
to be experienced by everyone, and occurred frequently, no one would care. By the ending of the
poem, however, the reader learns that circumstances in life, and fate itself prevent love from
occurring. Marvell clues the reader into this when he said the word “impossibility,” in the first
stanza of the poem. Love comes about because people are in an emotionally fragile place. Love
is more often than not, impossible. Either the wrong people, or poor timing, or some other
obstacle prevents love from being possible. Its value comes from the unlikelihood of finding, or
if found, holding onto love. Its definition is shaped by its rarity for Marvell. It seems just the
opposite in today’s society. This omnipresent emotion must be felt by everyone, and if one is not
in love they are certainly unfortunate and for some reason undesirable. Finding love used to be a
gift, a blessing if you will, now the value of that gift has diminished because everyone has
seemed to have the same blessing. Those who don’t are singled out.
Is there ever really any love anyway? Does love exist or has it just been created to make
all of us feel a little bit better about ourselves, give Hallmark something to write about, and
perhaps lower the suicide rate? One can never know for certain. Love has certainly become a
flourishing business. The countless marriage therapists, sex therapists, counselors, wedding
planners and florists in the world would find their businesses obsolete if suddenly one day no one
believed in love.
I turn on the radio and hear a current love song appropriately title, “summer love,” by
Justin Timberlake. It seems his whole CD is about his trials and tribulations with love. I wonder
has he ever been in love or did he just write and exaggerate something he knew would sell
records? In today’s society love is so much more heartbreaking, because it never lasts. Today’s
public doesn’t think of love as everlasting and a condition of two souls meeting, it is more often
a simple state of mind, that will be altered after time. The appeal of a broken heart is very
intense. Many people whether in love or not, have felt rejected by a significant other. I think
about a recent breakup that still resonates in my mind every time I hear certain songs. I wonder if
other people do this too. I wonder if it’s easier to hold on to someone than to let them go. Does
our society use its media to hook into all of our emotions and prey upon our most vulnerable
states? Hundreds of movies, thousands of songs reiterate some kind of relationship gone wrong
and remind us that we are not alone.
Love might exist in a different way. What about the love a mother feels for her child? Is a
parents’ love unconditional? Perhaps it is. But perhaps it isn’t even love. Maybe it is a solemn
promise to protect someone they have witnessed who at first wasn’t able to protect themselves
and survive without help. What is love? How is it defined? Is it something one physically,
emotionally feels or is it a title to describe a variety of emotions? I say I love my family. But has
that love ever been tested? No matter what situation might arise, I will still love them and care
about them. So does that make the love stronger or does it make it seem less important?
In truth, it doesn’t matter whether love exists or not. The important concept is that people
believe it to be true. If they have found it or not, countless people subject themselves on the
search for love. I knew a boy from my high school whose mom had continually put up her
resume on match.com. Our society has resorted to advertising our own love and relationship to
the consumer with the highest bid. People no longer have time for romance and courtship. Dating
is now just an annoying fly that one must just swat to stop the buzzing. People pretend to be
someone else or something else every time they go out. Since they are selling themselves they
fear that the new consumer might find faults with the product so the imitate other products that
have received great ratings. As long as people believe in the possibility of love at their reach,
they will do almost anything to find it.
Dating is really a strange pre-mating ritual that is often confusing to understand. It is the
precursor to love, one must date to find love so it seems to have importance, but yet many people
dread going on dates and the whole process of dating. Dinner dates, coffee dates? Do they show
enough about someone else’s world that allows someone new to believe that they are worth
knowing? Some people have chosen to date online to find potential mates faster, and eliminate
the awkward moments experiences firsthand. Most people don’t even behave like themselves on
dates anyway, so isn’t there a better way to go about this search for love? Imagine two people
sipping coffee as they both experience physical reactions to the amount of silence and lack of
dialogue floating between them. Their bodies start to perspire and their hearts beat quicker and
quicker. They consider themselves failures. Silence is now a failure and people talk with nothing
to say just to fill the moment, just to pass the time. Others talk for hours, but almost always say
nothing. I have found that the people with the most interesting things to say are the observers
who rarely open their mouths. Maybe love is about communication. Maybe it’s a verbal reminder
of someone’s feelings and acknowledgement of important people to them, or maybe it is seen
through their actions and shown through what they do.
Either way, it is said how we have lost the value of words and emotions. Somehow or
another the wires have gotten crossed. Maybe we have created and amplified emotions like love
to give us something else to talk and debate about. Don’t believe me though, go talk to another
product. I’m probably just talking to fill the silence.