SIBLING STORIES
2006
AUTISM:
Celebrating
the
Differences
Written by Siblings of Children with Autism
Ages 9 to 17
The New Jersey Center for Outreach & Services for the Autism Community
FROM THE EDITORS
May 2006
Dear Friends:
T
hank you to all the wonderful young people who took
the time to express themselves by participating in
COSAC’s first Sibling Essay Contest. As you read
each essay, we trust you will notice the support, honesty and
genuine compassion that thoroughly impressed us.
From their words, we know these children already have
developed a special and strong bond with their brothers and
sisters. This connection will strengthen with time and will
serve as the foundation of their important role as advocate
for their siblings with autism in the future.
We hope that the participation of these remarkable siblings
represents the beginning of a lifelong partnership with
COSAC. We invite all siblings and family members of all
ages to contact us to find out how they can get more
involved with COSAC and make a positive difference as they
celebrate the uniqueness autism brings to every family it
touches.
Sincerely,
Ellen Schisler and Barbara Wells
Sibling Essay Contest Coordinators
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Daniel Altschuler
1
Victoria Anderson
2
Bobby Cooney
3
Jill Crenshaw
4
Kelsey Ewing
5
Molly Friedman
6
Trisha Gregory
7
Nicole Griffin
8
Emily Kalver
9
Kara Kowalski
10
Summer Lengyel
11
Aleta Murphy
12
Hunter Nisonoff
13
Amara Riccio
14
Giana Lynn Scanelli
15
Benjamin Strate
16
Elizabeth Thoresen
17
Asia Toole
18
David’s Brother:
DANIEL ALTSCHULER
M
y brother David’s
relationship to me is
special through three
things: behavior, communications,
and social skills. Each aspect is
different from mine, but it still
means a lot to me. David’s
difference strengthens the
relationship between us!
also sing when I ask him to. I
even taught him a song myself!
David’s social skills are a little
different from other people. He
does not do activities with me as
much as my little brother Michael
or little sister Rachel. He seldom
plays with us. However, when we
go to sports or outdoor activities,
David’s behavior is much different David will engage in active
listening. He will enjoy the
from my family and me. For
example, he gets very silly or very activities and do what he is
supposed to do. He makes
cranky for no reason at all.
his weakness almost a
He does strange
strength.
motions with his
hands and body.
However, his
bizarre motions can
be cute, and they
sometimes make
me smile. I enjoy
being with a guy
who can make me
laugh, especially David.
“David’s
difference
strengthens the
relationship
between us!”
David’s communications are
limited to very few words, mostly
hums. He repeats the last or
second-to-last words people say.
Most of the time he has to be told
what to say. However, he can say
“video, please” whenever he wants
a video or “music” when he wants
to listen to music. Whenever he is
shown a picture, sometimes he can
say what the picture is. He can
My brother’s
relationship is
special to me. The
key points of
autism are one of
his strengths, not
weaknesses. Every
day it seems like he
doesn’t have as much
autism as he used to. God is
keeping an eye on David and
watching over him. David is one
of my best friends! ♥
1
David Altschuler, Age 11
5th Grade
Our Lady of Good Counsel
Ian’s Sister:
VICTORIA ANDERSON
M
y brother’s name is Ian
Anderson and he is
autistic. This means that
he learns things, but at a much
slower rate. Autism is a rapidly
growing mental illness and one out
of five children obtain it. Even
though Ian has autism and is sent to
a special school because of his
mental disability, he is still my
brother and I love him. My essay is
about Ian and how having him as a
brother has made an impact on my
life.
Though there are struggles with
having an autistic child in our
household, there are also some
advantages. We go to a program
usually once or twice a month that
allows Ian to go places. For
instance, once we went to Disney
On Ice and we enjoyed ourselves
greatly, especially Ian. Since we go
on these trips, Ian is able to go out
and enjoy himself. Another
advantage is that Ian makes me
laugh a lot. He’s a very funny
character when he wants to be.
He can make you laugh a
lot when he has the
“Ian makes
desire to, or he can get
you very solemn and
me laugh a
serious as well.
Some of the struggles
with having an autistic
brother are the
financial issues and
lot. He’s a
the schooling.
Sending Ian to
As you can see,
very funny
school is a problem
there are both some
character
because his school is
advantages and
when he
in a different town
disadvantages. I only
and it costs a lot of
wants to be.” named a few for you,
money to send him
but there are many,
yearly. The Board of
many more. Having Ian
Education of Prospect Park
as a brother is a pretty cool
has found this a major issue and
experience because you get the
they were attempting to send Ian to chance to say, “Hey, I have an
public school in our town. The
autistic brother and it’s not always a
problem with this is that the public drag. In fact, it’s pretty cool.” Ian is
school doesn’t have activities in
my best friend, and to loose him
which Ian can enjoy and let out his would be a loss for both my family
hyper energy. Another problem
and me. This is why Ian has made
with this is that the students at the such an impact on my life. ♥
public school will consider Ian
different and make fun of him
Victoria Anderson, Age 13
8th Grade
because he’s autistic and I never
Eastern Christian Middle School
want that to happen to him.
2
Tommy’s Brother:
BOBBY COONEY
I
am the oldest child in my
older Tommy will be better. It
family. My brother Tommy seems that he gets better every
is the second oldest. We are day.
close in age. When Tommy was
two and I was three, I could tell
Everyone treats Tommy special,
there was something different
and let him play games and we all
about him. He didn’t seem to be love him very much. It doesn’t
different in his appearance, but I matter to me that Tommy is
just new he was different, but I
different. He is special to me
still loved him very much.
because he is my best friend, and
Eventually I found out that he
he has been with me all my life.
was diagnosed with autism.
At the time I’d never
Tommy’s differences
even heard that word
are important to me
before. But as I got
because every day I
older I learned that
am learning more
“One day I
it me and that he
and more about
am going to
thought different,
autism and the
find a cure for
felt different, and
differences about
even tasted things
them. One day I
autism.”
different. I still
am going to find a
loved Tommy
cure for autism.
though.
I guess you can say that
Throughout my life Tommy
I am lucky. Not every
has ran away, jumped in a
person gets to have their best
swimming pool when he couldn’t friend sleep over every night, and
swim, and even screamed in quiet come over all the time. But I do,
places such as church, or the
my best friend is my brother,
library. I still loved Tommy
Tommy, and he will live with me
though.
for the rest of my life. ♥
Bobby Cooney, Age 10
5th Grade
Whitman School
Other than Tommy I have two
other siblings; Kyle and Jenna.
I’m sure they feel the same way
about Tommy. Kyle and Jenna
are a lot younger than me, and I
am hoping that when they are
3
WINNER: 10th to 12th Grade
Laura’s Sister:
JILL CRENSHAW
D
ealing with autism can be autism and the search for a cure.
difficult: from the crying
Through my sister I have also
spells in public places to
the obsessive compulsive actions found that I am much more
capable of handling whatever life
at home. For a long time my
throws at me due to the strength
home life was simply that and I
thought nothing of it. When I got I’ve had to develop through the
years to take care of my sister as
to high school I began to realize
well as the rest of my family.
how different I was from
Without knowing it, the everyday
everyone else in the sense that I
occurrences of my life have
have had so many experiences
prepared me for dealing
unique from other
others around me.
teenagers. When I tell
“Laura has with
Patience is definitely
someone that my
taught me
something Laura has
sister Laura is
instilled in me. I
autistic, most
about
know that no
people my age
unconditional
matter who or what
don’t know what
love, tolerance, I encounter I will
that means and
have the ability to
those who do
and what it
remain calm and
relate a kind of
truly means to work through the
unknowing
be a sister.” problem.
sympathy. I was
surprised to find that
Sometimes I yearn to have a real
whether it be in health class, a
conversation with my sister, or
debate topic, or a random
just fight over clothes or the T.V.
discussion most of my fellow
like normal siblings do. However
classmates didn’t have the first
clue about autism. Once a teacher many sacrifices there may be,
Laura has taught me about
even told me that my sister
unconditional love, tolerance, and
“wasn’t that bad” because she
could talk at all. These newfound what it truly means to be a
sister.♥
disappointments also paved the
Jill Crenshaw, Age 17
way for opportunity. Although at
11th Grade
first I was reluctant, now I don’t
Bridgewater-Raritan High School
hesitate to teach others about
4
Nicholas’ Sister:
I
KELSEY EWING
love my brother Nicholas!
hang out we have a lot of fun! We
Yes, indeed he has autism but used to walk to a local park a
that doesn’t mean that you
couple times a week when we lived
can’t talk to him. I wish some
in our old house. The park was ten
people would be more informed
minutes away and it was a nice
about autism and other disabilities place to go. Now we are very lucky
because they treat disabled children to have a “Seven-Eleven” and
with no respect. Incase you have
“Dairy Queen” located practically
notice you are both children. Seven in our back yard. There might not
years ago I was just like them.
be a park in walking distance now
When I saw someone that looked a but our parents bought a play set
little different I would turn my head for our yard, so that just like having
but now I don’t even notice. I
a private playground in our yard.
volunteer at a hospital with a
Every year we go to Sesame
girl in a wheelchair and
Place because Variety Club
the only thing wrong
sponsors a disabled
“Because
with her is that her
children day. It takes
legs aren’t strong
Nicholas has place before the park
enough for her to
to the public
autism, I have opens
walk on her own.
so only people there
opened my
She tells me very
for this event will be
frequently that she
at the park. Nicholas
eyes and
isn’t treated the
and I also have
mind to
proper amount of
sleepovers. We watch
respect, sometimes
the same movie, “Lilo
everyone.”
with no respect at all.
and Stitch.” We play A
Then there are some
LOT of games! He loves
people that have disabilities like
many board and computer games.
autism that sometimes isn’t very
If Nicholas and I are this close
noticeable. Because Nicholas has
because of his autism then I’m glad
autism I have opened my eyes and he has it! I don’t know what our
mind to everyone. My mom has a
relationship would be like if he was
mug that says, “Autism affects 1 in “normal.” Eww! I hate the word
166 children. Accept more. Judge
normal, who is normal, is anyone
less.” If only people would actually normal, there isn’t any two people
do that. Today children are so
that are alike. Nicholas is important
judgmental.
to me and that is all that matters! ♥
My brother and I have an amazing
relationship! I know when to give
him some space. When we do
Kelsey Ewing, Age 15
9th Grade
Upper Perkiomen High School
5
Gabe’s Sister:
M
MOLLY FRIEDMAN
y name is Molly Friedman say something like,” Molly, can I
and I am ten years old, in
have a hug?” or something like that.
fourth grade and go to the
I like to teach Gabe different things.
Elisabeth Morrow School, in
I use the program Hooked on
Englewood, New Jersey. I have a
Phonics to teach Gabe how to read.
brother who was diagnosed with
If he gets something wrong, I tell
autism when he was two years old.
him how to say the word and make
He is 12 now. My brother, Gabriel
him say it again until he gets it right.
(everyone calls him Gabe) and I have
When he finishes a book, I will
a really good relationship with each
reward him with a sticker in the
other, because we do lots of things
color of his choice.
together. Some examples of the
things we do are play games
I also like to teach other kids with
together, read books together,
autism. So, whenever I have a
sing songs and do art
day off from school, I go
projects together. We
into Gabe’s school. Not
“Gabe
also have sleepovers in
only do I teach and
is really smart, play games with
my room.
funny and kind. Gabe, but I teach and
Gabe is really smart,
play games with the
funny and kind. We
We comfort
other children at his
comfort each other
each
other
school. It always
when one of us is
when one of us puts a smile on my
sad or mad. He is
face to know that all
very likeable, listens to
is sad or mad.” the kids are looking
me and likes what I like.
forward to my visit. I
I feel like I am the older
have lots of fun and so do
sister to him, even though I
Gabe and his friends.
am the youngest in my family. We
also have an older brother, named
I think it is special to have a brother
Mitchell, who plays with Gabe too.
or sister with autism because
Gabe loves to smell my hair. I really everyone in the world is made
don’t know why. We use the same
different from everyone else. So,
shampoo, but maybe he does it
Gabe is different and he stands out.
because he can’t smell his own. If I Gabe is special in his own way and I
ever go out for the day or I go to a
love him just the way he is. Even
friend’s house for a sleepover, Gabe though autism is a bad thing in some
will ask for me.
ways, it can also be a really good
thing in other ways. ♥
Gabe really only talks to people
when they talk to him. He won’t
really start a conversation unless he
is prompted. Sometimes he will
Molly Friedman, Age 10
4th grade
The Elisabeth Morrow School
6
David’s Sister:
L
TRISHA GREGORY
Every Friday night we take him to
Gymnastics, with other special needs
kids. He can do the vault, trampoline,
pommel horse, and p-bars. He also
does tennis, and participates in 2
leagues. Basketball is another favorite
of his. I play in two leagues and love to
My brother happens to be Autistic.
help him with his skills. Over the
One thing that is a downside to having
summer he learned to run and dribble,
a sibling being Autistic, you might get
take a lay-up, and learned to play
made fun of. I’m one of the more
defense. In soccer and can dribble
fortunate kids, because I don’t get
their as well. He really favors
made fun off. Occasionally one of my
swimming in a pool and in the ocean.
friends might say “Can’t your brother
He can tread water for about 10
say more than 2 words?” And then
minutes and he recently learned to
other people would talk about
dive under water and get the
it, but the good thing is that
diving sticks, which we
I don’t get bothered by it.
“I think
throw to the bottom of
Two or three of my
having
an
the pool. He’s very
friends really like my
athletic.
autistic
brother, and
Living with him never
sometimes they say to
sibling is
really gets in my way.
me that when they see
something
Sometimes I see other
and talk to him they
wouldn’t know he was
you should be brothers and sisters
playing with each other,
Autistic and I’m happy
proud of.”
and I wonder what it
that some people
would be like to have a
understand what its like to
“normal” brother. I think
live with him.
having an Autistic sibling is
When people occasionally laugh about
something you should be proud of.
my brother and say he only knows two
You should feel unique and different.
words, he really doesn’t. He probably
I love having an Autistic sibling, and I
knows now about 200 Sight and
hope other people love having an
Picture words. Everyday we work on
speech with him and my parents spend Autistic sibling. Most times having an
a lot of time working on his ability to Autistic sibling can be tricky;
speak. Two days every week a speech sometimes fun, sometimes not fun,
and sometimes you’ll get mad, but
therapist come to the house. Also at
overall I wouldn’t change it for the
school he does individual and group
world!! ♥
speech lessons.
iving with an Autistic sibling can
often be hard. You can easily get
mad, just over your sibling
getting more attention. Sometimes it
can be tricky and fun, but sometimes it
is not fun and you’ll get mad.
My brother also has many abilities,
such as gymnastics, swimming,
tennis, basketball, and soccer.
7
Trisha Gregory, Age 12
6th Grade
Ho-Ho-Kus Public School
CJ’s Sister:
H
NICOLE GRIFFIN
i, my name is Nicole and my
brother C.J is diagnosed with
autism. I’m 10 years old and
C.J. is almost 13. But it seems like
I’m the older one.
liked to play the sports too, so he
could join my dad, my little brother
Paul, and me when we play together.
I’m on the basketball team, the
softball team and the soccer team.
C.J. likes sports too, but only to
watch on TV. He can get very
nervous and upset because of all the
noise and people running around
during games. But he can tell you
whatever it is you want to know
about football and baseball games
and the players; even from a long
time ago! I sometimes wish he
Having a brother with autism teaches
me to stay calm and deal with hard
situations, and know that you just
have to always try to make the best
out of everything. This is all why I
love having C.J. as a brother!!! ♥
Some kids don’t understand him and
are not always nice. If I ever hear
this, I will stick up for him and help
My brother is a genius. He is like a
him out. He has a very hard time
walking encyclopedia because he
making friends with other kids, but
knows so much about so many
not with adults. C.J. talks to workers
things. I get straight A’s in school,
at a store or restaurant and people
but he knows so much more than
that we don’t even know. Most of
me! I always ask my mom, “how
the grown-ups are really nice to
does he know that?”. He’s
him and we end up meeting
amazing! But it is hard for
a lot of new and
him to be in a classroom
“Having a
interesting people.
with a lot of other
kids, so for most of
brother with
C.J. is afraid to sleep
his subjects he’s in a
autism teaches in his own bed so
small class so that
he can be taught in
me to stay calm sometimes I invite
him to sleep with me
the way that he
and deal with
because I have a
learns best. I am so
double-size bed. C.J. is
proud of him
hard
funny and makes up
because he made
situations.” good jokes. He is fun to
student of the marking
be with because he thinks
period three years in a
up games to play, and he is
row and he’s on our school’s
interesting to talk with because I
honor role! Everyone in school
knows him and all the teachers know understand him and know just what
he means.
that I am C.J. Griffin’s sister.
8
Nicole Griffin, Age 10
4th Grade
Morris Plains Borough School
Jonah’s Sister:
H
EMILY KALVER
i, I’m Emily. I have a brother,
Jason. My other brother, Jonah is
autistic. I’m eleven, Jonah is
seven, and Jason is four. My brother
Jonah is very smart. He is being home
schooled because his autism made it a lot
harder to communicate in a big class.
closest to perfect fun you could find.
Even though my brother is different, I
wouldn’t like it any other way. He is
really special to me and I love him. I
wouldn’t want him to change interests.
The bad things are that I can’t
understand Jonah after a certain point
He can read a little and do a lot of math. and with other people, I can understand
He knows the calendar, past, present,
past that point. Also, it’s really hard to
and future by heart, that even includes
keep him focused. I like to talk to him,
what day of the week any date is. He
but he often drifts away from the
used to make calendars of 2012. They
conversation. I find that hard to accept.
were amazing! He can do squares and
It’s also really hard for him to try new
square roots in his head, high
things.
ones like 112x112=12,544. He
If someone doesn’t
did that instantly in his
understand someone, it
“Jonah
is
one
head! I can’t do that.
results in that person
When he does a problem
of my best
being made fun of.
on the calculator, he
People are afraid of
friends,
and
I
remembers it. One time
what they don’t
I asked him for help
don’t want
understand. It isn’t fair
with my homework, and
that
to
change.
to
be made fun of
while he was figuring it
they’re different.
out, I got it on paper. He
We are a great Ifbecause
they
have
darker or
got it in his head, right
team.”
lighter
skin
than
you, if
after.
they are overweight or
He loves playing with me, my
underweight, or have a physical
brother, and his friends, practicing
or mental disability. That doesn’t make
piano, singing, and doing family
it ok to make fun of the person. You are
activities. He likes to watch TV with
different too. Everyone should accept
Jason. His favorite shows are, Blue’s
their difference and live in peace. That is
Clues, Sesame Street, Dora, the
why the world is such an evil place.
Backyardigans, Spongebob Squarepants,
Jonah is one of my best friends, and I
and The Fairly Odd Parents. He’s a
don’t want that to change. We are a great
picky eater. He loves chicken nuggets.
team. I teach him new things every day.
If I had a different brother, I would
He’s really enthusiastic. If anything
always be fighting. There wouldn’t be
happens to him, I’ll be really upset. I
peace. I used to tease him. Now I realize really don’t want him to change, because
that he is a person, too. He never teases, I love him just the way he is. ♥
hits, or brags. If there could be a
Emily Kalver, Age 11
community where everyone was autistic,
5th Grade
that community would be the
9
Hebrew Academy of Morris County
Brian’s Sister:
H
KARA KOWALSKI
ello, my name is Kara
our waiter asked for our drink order
Kowalski and I am writing
Brian said to the waiter, “Got any
you this essay so I can
juice?” I started to giggle. The
explain to you how my brother,
waiter then said, “Sorry we don’t.”
Brian, has been doing ever since he But the funniest thing that Brian
was diagnosed with Autism
said was, “What do ya got?” I
Spectrum Disorder. My brother
laughed so hard that I started to cry!
Brian was born on November 5th
We couldn’t believe he had ordered
2001 and all of my family and
his own drink. That’s another thing
friends thought he was the cutest. I that makes my brother special, he is
know that all babies are cute but my funny!
brother had something different,
something special, something called On some days I wish he never had
Autism. I remember when my
Autism, but on a lot of days I am
parents told us about it,
glad he has Autism. On the
too. I was only nine or
days when I wish he
“I will always didn’t have Autism is
ten at the time so I
really didn’t know a
love my brother when he does things,
whole lot about
like jumping up and
because he
Autism at the time.
down or running in
teaches our
When I did find out
circles. I get upset
family about
more about it I
and mad when he
realized that Autism
does those things.
being thankful
was a learning
But
I also like that he
for little
disorder and it
has Autism because all
things.”
affected your brain. But
of my friends love him.
whenever I would see my
Whenever my friends
brother I think he is just a
come over he would always
happy, normal little kid. Today
say something funny like, “Your
Brian is trying to fight Autism and
friend looks pretty Kara!” or “Does
he is getting better and better
your friend want to play a game?”
everyday. My Mom takes him to
therapy just like my brother and I go I will always love my little brother
to our activities. He has to work
Brian, because he teaches our family
hard and we have help him.
about being thankful for little things.
I know how much he loves us
What makes my little brother special because now, he can tell us and
is that he can at times be even
show us. ♥
smarter than me. For example, one
Kara Kowalski, Age 11
day we were at a restaurant with my
6th Grade
Holy Cross School
Mom and brother Kyle. When
10
Tyler’s Sister:
I
SUMMER LENGYEL
love my older brother Tyler.
Tyler has Autism. He’s also the
best brother I could think of.
The fact that he has Autism doesn’t
change how much I love him and
sometimes I think it makes me love
him even more. We make up games
and play them together. He is very
ticklish and loves when I tickle him.
He is addicted to chocolate bars! He
is extremely skinny and tall. He loves
to do gymnastics. When I watch him
do gymnastics I am so proud of him.
I love watching him improve
every week.
I’ll help him write in a notebook. He
reads well and recites the alphabet
perfectly. Tyler can count up to high
numbers. He does well in school.
With my family’s help, he’ll be adding
and subtracting double digits in no
time!
Sometimes Tyler gets frustrated and
upset. I don’t blame him though. It
has to be so very hard to not be able
to get your feelings across to people.
That’s when I think about how things
would be different if Tyler
didn’t have autism like me
my younger brother.
“I wouldn’t and
Then I realize that I
want to change wouldn’t want to
change who Tyler is
who Tyler is.
and love means loving
Love means
someone for who they
loving someone are and there are a lot
more good things
for who they
about Tyler than bad
are.”
things.
Tyler has changed my
life in a lot of positive
ways. I want to
become a special
education teacher
now. I also feel
closer with my
brother and family
because I feel so lucky
he’s doing so well and I
have A LOT more patience
than I think I would have if I didn’t
have Tyler as a brother. Tyler makes
me happy and nothing can replace
that.
Tyler and I care about each
other very much. I come home
before him because we go to different
schools. When his school bus arrives
at our house, I run out of the house
and race to greet him in the driveway.
I love to help Tyler. When my mom I think Tyler has made our whole
is out and my dad is watching us, I
family closer together because we
love to help Tyler make sandwiches
need to protect and care for Tyler
and I help him pick out his pajamas
and be there for him. Yes, Tyler has
so they match because he doesn’t
Autism. And I love Tyler and Tyler
care much at all about matching his
loves me and nothing can change
clothes. I’m sure Tyler likes it when I that. ♥
help him, too.
Summer Lengyel, Age 9
Tyler is very smart. Sometimes
4th Grade
11
WINNER: 4th to 6th Grade
Patrick’s Sister:
I
ALETA MURPHY
n the first Harry Potter book,
there is a magical object called
the Mirror of Erised. Instead of
showing your reflection, it shows you
what your heart desires. Harry
spends a lot of time looking in it to
watch his parents.
have gone back to work and I would
probably have to go to After Care.
My dad would probably coach
Patrick’s sports team instead of mine.
If Patrick never had autism, I
probably wouldn’t know what it’s like
if someone really has a mental
disability. Too many people abuse the
If I could look into the Mirror of
word “retard” and it makes me sort of
Erised, this is what I might see. My
seven-year-old brother Patrick doesn’t upset because they don’t know what
it’s like. They use it too lightly.
have autism. Our family goes to
Disney World. He doesn’t embarrass Luckily my friends don’t use that
word or laugh at my brother when
me in front of my friends. He
he does something silly. They
doesn’t mess up my things.
think he’s cute too.
We move the furniture
“Sometimes,
the way we want to. We
Sometimes I feel like he
go to the same school.
I’m the only
sort of understands me
No more Barney
and I understand him
one
who
videos! He plays
when he looks at me in
basketball with me.
understands
a certain way without
I’m the greatest
what
he
is
words. It’s special for
basketball star, and –
a moment, nobody says
saying or
whoops! That doesn’t
anything, but then he
have to do with autism.
singing.”
looks away and the spell is
broken. One time, he
Harry Potter learns that it’s
arranged his toys all over the
no good to waste time wishing
floor. Someone else might just see a
things would come true, instead of
mess, but I saw constellations, the Big
actually trying to achieve them.
When I think more about it, some of and Little Dipper.
those wishes are possible if my mom
Sometimes I’m the only one who
and dad and I all work hard enough to
understands what he is saying or
help him.
singing. Once, he kept saying “LillyIf there were a cure for autism, I don’t bu” and my mom didn’t get it. She
think I would want him to be cured.
asked “do you want a little boot? …
If Patrick didn’t have autism, he
the Lily book? Little Pooh bear?” .
wouldn’t be as cute as he is. He
He came to me and said “Lilly-bu?”
wouldn’t cuddle up to me or play our and I just said, “Yes, Patrick, I love
special little games. He would be a
you too.” ♥
typical, annoying, bratty little brother.
Aleta Murphy, Age 11
He wouldn’t let me teach him things.
5th Grade
Also, my mom probably would
St. Matthew’s School
12
WINNER: 7th to 9th Grade
Spencer’s Brother:
M
HUNTER NISONOFF
y name is Hunter Nisonoff
and my younger brother
Spencer is diagnosed with
autism. Tyler, my twin and I enjoy
our time playing with Spencer and
taking him places. When we are with
him we don’t think about his autism.
We just think he is our little brother.
Most of our friends don’t even
remember that Spencer has autism
because he acts like many kids his
age. We are very fortunate that
Spencer has made great progress.
Having a brother with autism is
special because we have gained many
values that not a lot of people
understand. I get to meet a lot of
special kids with autism and amazing
teachers who help kids who have
autism. My brother and I learned
many ways to help when kids who
have autism are having a hard time.
My parents know a lot about autism
and try to teach me as much as they
can. I am glad that I have been given
opportunities that other people
never get to experience.
Spencer is seven and a
half years old. He is
My relationship is
“I am quick to different with Spencer
currently enrolled in
the Valley Program
help other kids than it is with my twin
and goes to a school
because Spencer needs
with special
in Harrington Park.
my help. Also he
He is not yet
needs because looks up to me, so
mainstreamed, but
sometimes I have to
of Spencer.”
we hope he will be
think a little before I go
soon. Spencer enjoys
and do something.
almost any sport he can
Spencer has made me a
play, video games, and
better person because of our
playing with us. He is a great
relationship and because there
kid and an awesome brother. His
are so many great things about him
favorite T.V. show is “Deal or No
that make me smile every time I see
Deal” on NBC.
him. I am also quick to help other
kids with special needs because of
Our whole family is very involved
Spencer. All of our differences are
with autism. Tyler and I have made very beneficial. I don’t know who I
friends with siblings with autism. We would be without Spencer. That is
also contribute and walk for Autism why these differences are special. ♥
at Giant Stadium. We do not think
of autism as a bad thing in our family.
Hunter Nisonoff, Age 12
7th Grade
We think of it as something that has
Emerson Jr./Sr. High School
made all of us better people.
13
Lawrence’s Sister:
I
AMARA RICCIO
see pink, red, purple and orange
flowers, all different and unique in
their own special way. Everyone
and everything is different and special in
its own way. All people are different,
right? My brother, Lawrence, is extra
special because he has autism. My brother
is a sweet, outgoing, happy boy who loves
people but doesn’t know how to
communicate in the right way. Lawrence
will approach pretty girls and say “hi”, or
he’ll walk around the neighborhood
knocking on people’s doors to make
friends. Some people may not understand
Lawrence’s differences so that’s
why I’m writing this essay.
intelligent. He’s been reading since he
was two and a half .
To me, Lawrence is just a regular kid with
unique personality traits. To other people,
maybe he’s some type of weirdo. Those
people who think that just don’t
understand autism. Lawrence may talk
loud at public places, go up to strangers
and say hi, run around public places with
his shoes off, and perseverate about things
we’re not even doing, but that doesn’t give
anyone the right to treat him with
disrespect. Those people need to
understand Lawrence is unique and he
shows his emotions in different
ways. When he is happy he’ll
Lawrence is usually very
run around laughing. When
“What
makes
happy and lovable. What
he’s angry he’ll jump on his
Lawrence
makes Lawrence special
knees, make weird noises,
and unique is his
and even have a melt
special and
sweetness and great
down. When Lawrence is
unique is his
heart. Sometimes
sad, he’ll try to comfort
Lawrence may do
you, and try to make the
sweetness and situation better. Lawrence
inappropriate things like
saying hi to strangers,
does things differently, but
great heart.”
but he doesn’t mean it in
that does not mean he’s
a bad way, he just wants to
weird or a bad person. To
be friendly and communicate.
me, it’s a good thing he does not
My brother does special magical
care what anyone else thinks or
things that I don’t think anyone else can
does. He’s my brother Lawrence Riccio, a
do. If you ask him what day is December special and unique boy.
9, 2006 or any other date, he’ll get it right
Now maybe you have learned a little about
99.9% of the time. If you’re with
how my brother and other autistic
Lawrence you don’t need a TV guide
children act. I hope you learned that
because he knows when every show is
everyone is different and that you should
going to be on, what channel, and what
treat everyone equally. My brother
time. You may think I’m crazy, but I
Lawrence is like a magical butterfly that
think my brother is a little bit psychic.
brings joy and hope to people around him.
When Lawrence was two , he knew my
He’s also like the bright sun shinning.
grandmother, who was sick with cancer,
That’s why I think Lawrence is special and
was going to pass away. For a few
months before she died, and especially the unique. ♥
Amara Riccio, Age 10
day before, he would become upset and
5th Grade
say “don’t leave grandma” and “not yet
Lafayette Mills School
grandma.” Lawrence is also very
14
Angelo’s Sister:
GIANA LYNN SCANELLI
M
y name is Giana and I have
an autistic brother named
Angelo. I’m 9 1/2 years old
and my brother is 12. I also have an
older sister who is 13. Her name is
Lina; she does not have any
problems.
and tease you. Angelo never does
that. My relationship with Angelo is
special because it’s like have an older
brother and a younger brother at the
same time. He’s a hard worker and
I’m proud of him. I remember one
time when my Mom was in a
meeting at my brother’s school, I
Having a brother with autism is
got to watch him while he was
special because not everyone has an working he was concentrating so
autistic sibling. I know about autism, hard, listening, and working and
and I understand the problems
doing great. I have dyslexia so I
people with autism may
know how it feels a little
experience.
because it’s hard for me to
Angelo and I are
read.
different in many
“He’s a hard
ways. First, he goes
Even though we are
worker and I’m different, our
to a different
school. I have to
proud of him.” relationship is
share my teacher
important. He has fun
with 22 students, but
with me and it feels
Angelo has his own
like we are more than
teacher!! Second, we
best friends. We play a
learn in different ways
lot of games together and
because our brains work
I try to teach him new games
differently. Angelo needs to
and new things. Angelo makes me
practice more than me.
happy and excited to be with him.
When I grow up I want to teach
Angelo and I have a terrific
autistic people because I already
relationship. He is always happy and know a lot about autism. I would
playful and in a good mood most of need a lot of patience and Angelo
the time. Angelo and I both love to has already taught me that! ♥
go on vacation. He is always packing
Giana Lynn Scanelli, Age 9 1/2
all of my socks in a suitcase. He
4th Grade
thinks that once he packs them we
can go! I don’t get mad at him I just
laugh. I like him just the way he is. A
normal brother would fight with you
15
Sarah’s Brother:
BENJAMIN STRATE
H
i, my name is Benjamin.
a good seeker. I taught her how to
My younger sister, Sarah, pet our dog, how to buckle her
has autism. She's ten years seatbelt, make a whirlpool in the
old, I'm twelve, and Sarah is
swimming pool, how to play the
actually a pretty great girl. She can Rugrats game on my Playstation,
do lots of things. She can add, she and play at pbskids.org on the
can do math, she can read and
Internet. Sometimes I read to her,
write a little, she can dance, swim, she loves Goodnight Moon, and
and sing. She likes to eat ice cream, sometimes I make her chicken
pizza, Rice Krispies omelets,
tenders in the microwave.
french fries, and cookies. She loves
to laugh, and she's happy a
Sarah looks completely
lot of the time but gets
normal at first glance,
grumpy pretty easily.
and everyone who
“She is
She is loving, she
meets her loves her. I
doesn't make
try to protect Sarah
loving, she
judgments, and she
because she can't
doesn't
won't play pranks
protect herself. I
make
on me, and even
think it’s hard on
though I tease her
my
family
judgments.”
sometimes she
sometimes because
won't tease me back.
Sarah needs extra
And I guess that's
help. But our family
because she has autism,
wouldn’t be what it is if
and it makes me sad that
Sarah wasn’t who she was.
she's not like the little sisters that And I love my family and Sarah
some of my friends have, even
very much. ♥
though they fight with each other
a lot more.
Benjamin Strate, Age 12
Sarah works very hard. She goes to
school even in the summer, and
teachers come to our house all the
time after school. Everyone tries
to help Sarah, including me. I
taught her to play hide and seek,
she doesn't hide very well but she's
16
6th Grade
Lindbergh School
Demetrios’ Sister:
D
ELIZABETH THORESEN
o you have a sibling that has
autism? Can they do things
you cannot do? Well, my little
brother Demetrios has autism and
here is his story.
me happy.
He tries new things every day and
that makes us glad. He tries foods
from cow to cauliflower. When he
does not like something, he makes a
When my brother was born, he acted face that looks like a crushed pillow.
like a normal baby. Soon we found
At school when he learns new things
out he had autism and we were
he tells us and we are blissful.
gloomy. Before long, we discovered
that he had unique gifts. Demetrios Do you think my brother is so
has an amazing memory. At the age different from everyone else? Yes?
of four, he could spell “preoccupied” Wrong! If you were in his shoes and
felt, thought and imagined things like
and other words at a greater level.
he does, do you think people would
He also could memorize 8th grade
think you were weird or different?
math work! If you pay close
He is the same; he is a
attention, he can teach
person with feelings not a
you something new.
“The differences lifeless doll! He has the
Sometimes he falls in
same rights as everyone
in him are
love with things he
else. He could be
important to me president with help
enjoys. He likes
trains, cartoons,
and vote. He could
because he can
and video games.
even be a scientist and
do amazing
Just like me, but
discover ways to help
things that no
without the trains.
people and save lives.
He is like a best friend
one can do!” His life is something
because he always plays
special, like a pearl in an
with you when you want
oyster. We are different in some
him to and plays any game you
like. My brother is like an entertainer ways; he has different gifts than mine.
on television. He loves to dance. He We are the same too because our
lives are both gifts. The differences
shows me how to move and groove
by jumping up and down and running in him are important to me because
around. He is a great singer. He acts he can do amazing things that no one
can do and that is special, and so is
out parts from cartoons and makes
he! ♥
me laugh until I cannot laugh
anymore. He even memorized a
Elizabeth Thoresen, Age 10
poem about pumpkins that I never
4th Grade
knew! It makes me feel jovial
Woodland Elementary School
because he can find things fun that
makes him happy which makes
17
Isaiah’s Sister:
ASIA TOOLE
T
he relationship with my
My mom says we have to work
brother Isaiah is like other
harder to make things easy for him
peoples relationship even
to understand. I play with him to
though he has autism. I like to
make him happy. People don’t think
make him laugh and sometimes he is that he has feelings. I want them to
rough and hard to understand, but
know that he does. He is a happy
only we he gets frustrated. But he is boy. I take care of him and look out
still my brother. People think that
for him. My other sisters look out
my brother is a person that will
for him too. We like that he is the
break things and mess stuff up but only boy in our family. We act like
he is a nice boy. I hate when he
his second moms. He makes us
cries in front of people in
laugh and we are amazed by the
restaurants and they always look at things he can do now. He has
him. It makes me feel
learned to read, tie his shoes and he
uncomfortable. It’s hard
looks like a regular nine year
because he needs a lot of
old boy. He does things
attention and
that other kids do. He
“People don’t plays outside, likes to
sometimes I wish he
didn’t have autism.
climb trees and loves
think that he
Things would be
movies.
has feelings.
easier for him. The
only place I think
Because he has
I want them
that is good for him
autism Isaiah needs
to know that
is his school because
me to help him. It
he does.”
that is the only place
makes us close and I
where he can be his
love my brother very
self. He will have to go
much. ♥
through this the rest of his
life.
Asia Toole, Age 12
When people ask me what’s wrong
with him when he gets upset, I tell
them he’s upset, because he doesn’t
understand some things. I get tired
of saying that. Sometimes people
speak to him and he doesn’t
understand what they are talking
about. I try to help him understand.
18
7th Grade
Memorial Middle School
COSAC SIBLING PEN PAL PROGRAM
Sign-Up Form
INFORMATION ABOUT THE SIBLINGS
Sibling Name:
Date of Birth:
Hobbies (Please list 3):
/
/
/
/
1.
2.
3.
Name of Brother/Sister
with Autism:
Date of Birth:
ADDRESS & CONTACT INFORMATION
Address:
Phone:
E-mail:
PARENT PERMISSION REQUIRED
Print Parent’s Name:
Parent’s Signature:
/
/
Mail or fax form to: COSAC Sibling Services
1450 Parkside Avenue, Suite 22
Ewing, NJ 08638
609-883-5509 (Fax)
$
Date:
COSAC SIBLING SERVICES
Sibling Pen Pal Program
The Sibling Pen Pal program is a great and easy way to enable
siblings to share stories, successes, and challenges of living with
a brother or sister with autism. To join the program, please
complete the sign up form on the opposite page, including the
children’s ages, hobbies and any other helpful information.
Please feel free to photocopy this sheet or use extra paper. You
will hear from a COSAC staff member soon!
Send all correspondence to:
COSAC Sibling Services
1450 Parkside Avenue, Suite 22
Ewing, NJ 08638
609-883-8100
609-883-5509 (Fax)
COSAC Junior
Ambassador Program
COSAC’s Junior Autism Awareness Ambassador Program
helps siblings educate and enlighten their friends and neighbors
during April, National Autism Awareness Month. Junior
Ambassador speak to their schools and communities about
autism and their personal experiences. COSAC provides
resources for kids, suggested activities and reading lists, and
special kid-friendly events. To sign up as a Junior Ambassador,
contact: aamonth@njcosac.org, or call 609-883-8100.
ABOUT COSAC
The New Jersey Center for Outreach and Services
for the Autism Community (COSAC) is a nonprofit
agency providing information and advocacy,
services, family and professional education, and
consultation to New Jersey's autism community.
COSAC is dedicated to ensuring that all people with
autism receive appropriate, effective services to
maximize their growth potential and to enhancing
the overall awareness of autism in the general public.
COSAC: New Jersey’s Autism Resource
1450 Parkside Avenue, Suite 22
Ewing, NJ 08638
Phone: 609-883-8100
www.njcosac.org