THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION: TRAVERSING OLD & NEW FAMILY VALUES THROUGH OPEN ADOPTION Annette R. Appell William S. Boyd School of Law University of Nevada, Las Vegas I. Introduction The project I am talking about today seeks to have adoption inform family law at a time when family law is struggling to reflect major changes in who and what families are. While adoption has traditionally trailed biological and marital family formations, it has begun in practice and law to accommodate the tensions between parental autonomy and the persistence of biology. These accommodations contain a number of lessons for family law, including the failures attendant to the pretense of rebirth and the apparent successes of blending birth and adoptive kin to create new family systems. United States family law is largely based on the modern family form and primarily relies on biology and marriage to define family relationships and regulate rights, privileges and benefits among family members and against the state. Nevertheless, the lived relations that constitute postmodern families are much more expansive, increasingly fluid, and include adultadult and adult-child relationships that do not have the sanction of marriage or biological connections. As a reflection of this disconnect between law and society, family law has entered a postmodern phase in which it is seeking to accommodate these complex and unstable family constellations both by changing law to govern family formation and dissolution and by protecting extralegal relationships that are formed intentionally and consensually. Thus, postmodern family law is trying to reflect social, and not merely biological and marital, relationships. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 1 of 18 In contrast, adoption law, which was institutionalized during the rise of the modern family, both contradicts and mimics family law norms insofar as it discards biological connections and then mirrors them as it seeks to replicate the nuclear, marital, heterosexual modern family. Yet adoption law is also part of law’s movement to reflect the postmodern family. The most noted changes relate to lesbian and gay adoption (and earlier to stepparent adoption). But there is more profound change occurring in adoption law that has gone almost unnoticed. It is the legal regulation of post adoption contact among family members, also known as “cooperative adoption” or “adoption with contact”. In some ways then, adoption law is moving in the opposite direction from the rest of postmodern family law as adoption seeks to better account for biological connections through adoption with contact. These two developments speak to each other. In any event, both family and adoption law are developing in ways that respect biological and social parent-child relationships and the basic autonomy of families, no matter how they are created. Nevertheless, some promoters of postmodern family law reform seek to minimize the importance of biological connections and the biological aspects of parental rights doctrine while maximizing the social aspects of parenting. Others seek to maintain the modern characteristics and literal heteronormativity of modern family law. My thesis is that family law is and should be changing to reflect our postmodern times, but that biological connection remains extraordinarily important for moral, political, social and existential reasons and should, therefore, be protected. I do not maintain that these biological connections are somehow timeless and not socially constructed, but instead that they are still important in our culture. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 2 of 18 II. Biological Privilege & Value The freedom and possibilities that postmodern families offer are important (especially for the middles class) and necessary, but they also have the potential to undermine maternal-child relationships and to disconnect women from motherhood. Such a disjunction offers its own sets of problems for families without much social or economic capital. For although family systems may be changing, the political and economic aspects of modernity have become even more effective at privatizing wealth and need, creating ever widening income gaps and inhibiting social and economic mobility. In other words, our seemingly quaint notions of private, biologically based families are part of the same political, social and economic structure that produces and maintains poverty and wealth in the United States. In this context, biological privilege is not necessarily a modern relic, but instead may be the only wealth to which people have relatively equal access. The biological connection and the privilege family law still affords it inures to the benefit of the most vulnerable families. Moreover, biology remains important; we are not so changed socially that biological connections are not still deep and symbolic of race, culture and even country. This talk is part of a larger project that aims to anchor the postmodern family law movement in the physical, social and economic conditions that affect the most disaffected among us: those who are socially, economically and politically disadvantaged and those who have experienced the legal loss of a biological parent or child. Indeed, it is not necessary to undermine or devalue biology as basis of family to protect or recognize other family formations, including adoptive families, kinship networks, and samesex or plural parent families. Nor is it necessary to discard these new family forms in favor of modern values. More helpful is an enhanced notion of biological connection – one that accounts for the social and political importance of biological connection, and what is the focus of this talk: THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 3 of 18 the existential aspects of biological ties, the body work of bearing a child, and the palpability genetic tissue for both the adults (adoptive and biological) and the children. This part of the project explores the existential and social persistence of biological connections and connectivity. It proffers open adoption as an instructive example for postmodern families, particularly in the context of same sex couples who cannot reproduce without another’s reproductive tissue or labor. These families and those of open adoption replicate the postmodern family – its deviation from the two-parent, heterosexual family (though still reflective of that family) the non-sexual reproduction of children through assisted reproductive technologies (ART) and adoption; and the actual or lurking presence of other relations (e.g., biological mother or father, siblings) But these open adoption families are not trying to escape the pull of biology; on the contrary, they are embracing it. It appears that lesbian and gay families too may be embracing biological connections. Open adoption, particularly as it is regulated through adoption with contact, is an example of the preciousness of biological connections and the various types of parenting relationships adults can have with children that are both non-exclusive but also deeply protective of family privacy and autonomy. The open adoptive family preserves the connection between parent and child while creating at least one new non-biological parent in the child’s life. The value of biology is deep and wide – for political and moral reasons, as I and others have explored elsewhere, and for social and psychological reasons. This is not to say that biology and biological connections are not constructed or are inherently important, somehow true, or THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 4 of 18 otherwise absolute. It is to say that in our cultural and legal context, biology and genetic makeup, for better and for worse, matter. The construction of race, deeply embedded in this country’s history and present, is based on a set of social norms or understandings relating to blood lines, national heritage and often skin pigment. Moreover, genes, genetic background, and family history increasingly inform medical science. For these reasons and for deeper psychological and social reasons, people are fascinated by their genetic backgrounds and what it reveals about where they came from and who were their ancestors. Most significant perhaps is the importance of biological connections and family history to the formation of identity. For our identities are grounded in and informed by our kin – fictive, imagined and biological. Identity is a complex relational notion that lives in several oppositional frames: psychological and political; personal and social; and invokes both difference and sameness. As a psychological concept, identity is a developmental and non-linear process of identifying and differentiating, leading to a sense of authenticity. Politically, identity has been the basis for claims to civil rights arising out of difference (disparate treatment) and belonging (entitlement to societal goods). Personal or subjective identity refers to the unique aspects of a person formed through relationships and experiences while social identity refers to one’s membership in specific groups, e.g., racial, professional, social, gender. We all navigate these various aspects of external projections and belonging and of personal experiences, relationships and constitution. But through the navigations of oppositions on these various planes, we negotiate how we are like and unlike others: what makes us distinct and what makes us belong. It is through this process that we identify who we are. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 5 of 18 The complexity of identity is particularly acute for those who have been or belong to a group that has been separated from its genetic or historic past or from some ingredient of belonging and identification. This is the case, for example, for Native American children on the North American continent and for African Americans whose ancestors were forcibly torn from their families, tribes, villages, communities and cultures and taken to what became the U.S.A. These brutal disruptions and that followed all but destroyed their individual identities and the identities of their descendants. The past several generations have exhibited keen interest in restoring the missing pieces of the past and long lost biological origin. In a very different context, but one with some similarities regarding (often involuntary) ruptures from pre-birth heritage, adoptees experience great, ongoing interest in their biological family history. Studies show that well over 80 % of adoptees adopted as infants are curious about their birth parents and 70% of adolescent girls and 57% of adolescent boys express interest in actually meeting their birth parents. Adoptees continue to be members of their adoptive and birth families. There is also a wealth of theoretical and empirical social science research regarding the importance of such knowledge for adoptees in their development of identity, what has been described as “a deeply felt psychological and emotional need, a need for roots, for existential continuity, and for a sense of completeness.”1 Moreover, even in the postmodern family era, biologically based families continue to be the norm against which other kin groups are distinguished, and although adoptive families are not inferior or inauthentic, they are understood be a different and unique type of family. Adoptive families are unique because the members experience or contemplate the biological family and its environment – ethnicity, race, country, and the like. 1 Fernando Colon, Family Ties and Child Placement, 17 FAM. PROCESS 289, 302 (1978). THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 6 of 18 Families created with ART also exist in this shadow of biology. For purposes of this talk, I will refer mostly to the adoptee and adoptive families to designate families in which at least one parent is not biologically related to the child or when a biological parent is absent. For the adoptee, it is both (or either) the physical questions relating to appearance and health and the more imaginative questions, the whys and the what ifs – the possibilities of having been part of that family. These all form part of the adoptee’s roots and by extension, those of the adoptive family. It is hard to escape biology and all that is constructed through and around it. But perhaps such an escape would not be a good thing, at least so far as we can imagine a bodiless world. Ignoring biological connections can be dehumanizing: a way, perhaps unintentionally, to commodify children, to make them untethered, transferable, blank. Birth connections help define and humanize us by providing ties to family, culture and history. Seeking to eliminate these connections through adoption treats the child as a commodity. Elimination of such connections also undermines birth parent identity and aggravates the grief attendant to the loss of a child. These emotions are no doubt heightened because the context of adoption is one in which a child is born of one person and transferred to another in circumstances that are often wrenching and not entirely voluntary. Just as adoptees seek or long for facts regarding their birth and biological parents when navigating identity, birth parents too experience a relationship to the adoptee because the connection and subsequent disconnection from the child is part of the parent’s identity. This disconnection may be experienced as loss of at least part of the parent’s self. This is a loss of identity and forms a core component of grief. Adoptive parents too may experience some of the disjointedness that surrounds adoption. Beside their own sense of what ifs and why nots regarding the possibilities of producing their THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 7 of 18 own biological children, they may feel the child’s gap between the child’s original family or community and the child’s adopted ones. And they often seek to bridge these gaps in myriad ways, especially in the context of transracial and international adoption . . . . III. Brief Overview of Social and Legal History of Adoption Adoption law has not been entirely impervious to these experiences of adoption and connection. Although it has been somewhat resolute at its core, adoption law has changed over time to reflect changing social and legal norms. The first general adoption statutes, enacted in the 1850s, established the hallmark of adoption: the termination of one family and creation of another, when in the interests of the child. Adoption law maintained these core characteristics, but became confidential and anonymous after World War II in response to an increase in infant adoptions that was in turn spurred by several forces: a growth in infertility, the availability of infant formula, and changing psychological theories that began to view environment as more important in child development than genes. Fictive birth became the adoption paradigm, such that the adoption was equated with a new birth, even providing for substitution of the adoptive parents for the birth parents on the birth certificate. Eventually, the original birth certificates were sealed from all eyes, including those of the adoptee. The unitary view of adoption became that of anonymous infants, even for related adoptions and adoptions of older children. In substance, this unitary approach provided solely for confidential, static adoptive relationships which terminated all pre-birth connections and sealed all birth records. During the rise of postmodernism in the last half of the 20th century, this model of adoption has become dated as parties to adoption experience less secrecy and value it less. In THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 8 of 18 addition, this heteronormativity has become slightly less normative as families are formed and reformed without mutual biological connection – as occurs with stepparents, lesbian and gay parents, and single parents. Just s a decline in heteronormativity has led to some changes in parental rights doctrine (which still reflect heteronormativity), a series of social and legal changes have led to a devaluation of secrecy and myth in adoption. Like the changes in parental rights doctrine, the changes in adoption still reflect core aspects of adoption while acknowledging the existence of multiple parents. IV. Same Sex Parents: Lesbian and Gay Families & the Missing Biological Parent Lesbian and gay couples cannot create children together without assistance from third (and even fourth) parties. Yet many lesbian and gay couples are parenting children. These parenting relationships may have originated in a variety of ways, including during previous relationships, through foster care or adoption, and assisted reproduction. In all of these instances, the children reared by lesbian and gay couples have more than two parents. Yet the law recognizes at most two parents. Indeed, so far lesbian and gay families receiving family status appear to be quite conventional – almost heteronormative except that they are same-sex. For example, states are granting recognition and family benefits to lesbian and gay domestic partners and members of civil unions and even marriage. The non-marital statesanctioned relationships are like marriage in that they contemplate a domestic, mutual and monogamous relationship, and contemplate no more than two members of such a union or partnership. In addition, according to most of the reported decisions regarding same-sex couple adoptions reveal couples who were in marriage-like relationships, characterized by monogamy, long term commitment, jointly held property, cooperation, future planning, and shared parenting. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 9 of 18 A. Lesbian and Gay Families & ART In the past several decades, reproductive technologies have advanced and proliferated. It is estimated that approximately 40,000 children are born each year through sperm and egg donation. The various technologies, from the humble and relatively simple sperm donation to the implantation of one woman’s fertilized egg into another’s womb, can construct families with numerous permutations of genetic and social relations. When one takes into consideration these technologies and the employment of surrogates to bear children, it is possible that a child could have as many as two biological mothers, a biological father and a legal father and mother. These are perhaps the most post-modern of the post-modern families, but they too are rooted in and cannot escape biology. Indeed, they are formed through consensual relationships involving donors and surrogates but ultimately, they drift toward biology. They do so by replicating heteronormativity in multiple ways and in their inability to escape biological connections in fact and imagination. Assisted reproductive technologies allow single women, single men, same-sex couples and married couples to have children with the assistance of genetic materials of men and women who will not be part of the legally recognized family. These arrangements have traditionally been anonymous, at least when health care professionals are involved and anonymity is the legal norm in this country. This anonymity, besides arguably promoting donations, helps maintain a fiction of biological relatedness which allows families to pass as normative. Indeed, the “[e]laborative devices used to preserve the anonymity of donors highlight the significance attached to genetic ties in western societies and how this is linked to ideas about family, intimacy and social relations more generally.”2 Laws 2 Katrina Hargreaves and Ken Daniels, Parents Dilemmas in Sharing Donor Insemination Conception Stories with their Children, 21 CHILDREN & SOCIETY 420, 420 (2007). THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 10 of 18 too have been crafted to cut off any legal relationship between the donor and the child to further preserve the nuclear family ideal and mask the missing genetic ties. Thus, in the 1970s, states amended their laws away from biologically-based parenthood when donors were involved. In recent years, there has been a movement both toward openness with children regarding their ART origins and openness regarding the identity of the donor. Although there are differences regarding disclosure issues in families created through ART and adoption, the lessons of closed, anonymous adoption have informed this move toward more honesty regarding genetic parentage. Increasingly then, parents and children in families created through reproductive technologies involving gamete or womb donors experience second, third, fourth and fifth parents who are not formally part of the family. Yet in other ways these families tend to hew toward the modern family and heteronormativity. Those who can pass as a traditional family, such as heterosexual intimate, and especially marital, partners, appear to be more resistant to sharing information about the use of donors and to embrace openness regarding the donor’s identity. Just as heterosexual couples are more likely than not to choose a sperm donor with similar physical characteristics to the father, even same sex partners – who cannot pass as joint biological parents – are more likely to choose a donor with characteristics similar to the nongenetically related parent. Couples make these choices also to increase the partner’s involvement with the donor insemination process and the child they will share. Perhaps this phenomenon even reflects notions of evolutionary biology. Scientific and anecdotal evidence suggests that donor-insemination offspring in childhood and adulthood have great interest in their donor parents and biological siblings. The establishment of the sibling donor registry and the large number of members and matches suggests as much. Moreover, birth mothers with children from open-identity sperm donors are THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 11 of 18 reaching out to families with children from the same donor. These (disproportionately single) mothers reached out to the other families to help create a family for the children and also to address curiosity about the donor by comparing the offspring. Most of the families in one small study had ongoing contact with each other. Even birth mothers who utilize donor eggs may wish for her children to reach their donor mother. B. Lesbian & Gay Adoption Lesbians and gays create families while in prior heterosexual relationships or become parents in while single or in committed relationships, through artificial insemination using anonymously donated sperm, and sometimes the sperm of gay men, relatives of a same sex partner. Lesbians and gay men also form families through adoption, many while openly acknowledging their sexual orientation. It is estimated that in the past few decades, thousands of lesbians and gays have become legal parents through adoption. When lesbians and gays bring children to the relationship from a prior relationship, adoption law continues to govern their options for establishing mutual parental rights and responsibilities regarding the children. State adoption law, however, closely reflect remarkably similar norms regarding families and parenting in that they model exclusive parenting, twoparent marital families, or single parents. Adoption generally does not countenance as parents two fathers and a mother, two mothers and a father or a grandmother and her daughter; instead, most states’ adoption laws contemplate single or married parents. Most adoption statutes are silent regarding lesbian and gay adoption. Only five states have explicit statutes that countenance lesbian and gay adoption: Florida, which prohibits lesbian and gay adoption; Mississippi, which prohibits “couples of the same gender” from adopting; and Connecticut, Connecticut and California, which all provide explicit procedures for lesbian and gay couples to adopt. Other state laws do not address single or same-sex couple adoption. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 12 of 18 Silence regarding lesbian and gay adoption creates uncertainty around such adoptions, especially same-sex couple adoptions; and this silence can serve to both deter such adoptions in some states and to enable them. For if there is no ban, then such adoptions can occur, but if there are not provisions addressing the familial relations of lesbians and gays, then fewer of such adoptions may occur and those that are perfected are subject to challenge. The reported decisions suggest that the movement is toward permitting lesbian and gay and same-sex adoption. There is virtually no reported litigation arising out of denials of adoption petitions of single lesbian or gay persons, except for Florida and an Arizona case of questionable relevance. Moreover, although the best interests of the child standard appears to provoke more scrutiny for lesbian and gay adoptions, it has more often than not been utilized to grant adoptions. The reported decisions suggest that courts confronted with lesbian and gay families that embody dominant marital norms of monogamy, financial security, mutual care and support, and psychological parenting find adoption to be in the child’s best interest even despite lack of clear statutory support for such non-marital two parent adoptions. Otherwise, it is difficult to assess conclusively how courts are responding to petitions lesbian and gay single and same-sex couple adoptions because adoption proceedings are closed, sealed and usually uncontested. For all of these reasons, adoption cases rarely yield published decisions; and, of course, the proceedings themselves are sealed. Estimates suggest that single lesbian and gay adoptions are permitted in the District of Columbia and nearly every state and, including Utah and Mississippi, which have bans applicable to lesbian and gay couple adoption. Throughout the country, same-sex couple adoption is occurring as well, but is not as prevalent as single lesbian and gay adoption. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 13 of 18 Perhaps the most salient road block to same-sex couple adoption, in theory, is the absence of special provisions for same-sex couple adoption. These adoptions can be challenging because adoption statutes’ two-parent, marital norm contemplates adoption by one person or two married persons and that the legal parents will lose their parental rights before an adoption can occur, except for the case of stepparent adoptions when the prospective adoptive parent is married to the legal parent. Thus, read literally, the legal parent seeking to have her lesbian partner adopt the child would have to have her own rights terminated in order for her partner to adopt. Adoption statutes can also thwart a same-sex couple seeking to adopt jointly an infant or foster child not related to either of them because the statutes provide for a “person” or “married couple” to petition for adoption. Unless “person” is read in the plural, as number of courts have, only one of the couple can adopt, for in all states but Massachusetts (and arguably Iowa), lesbians and gays cannot get married. Finding that the best interests of the children in question in the same-sex couple adoption case militated toward two-parent adoption and against requiring termination of one parents’ rights, courts have permitted such adoptions to occur. Thus adoption courts seem to be embracing two parents for children. The trend is toward permitting such adoptions and the civil union and marriage laws are making such adoptions clearly available. Yet these families, like stepparent families and reproductive technology families do not neatly fit into that two parent biologically-based norm. There are other people out there who have reciprocal biological if not affective relationships with the children. Birth fathers or sperm donors are often known in the context of many lesbian adoptions. Indeed, unlike many heterosexual families created through ART, lesbians and gays often make informal arrangements with known donors or surrogates to create their families. In these families, the adoption fiction of rebirth is more difficult to sustain simply by virtue of the sex of the parents. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 14 of 18 Moreover, in these cases the birth parents or donors may be involved with the child on an ongoing basis. Although not necessarily active members of the child’s life, they may be known and identified so that the child will know whence he or she came. In other cases, for example adoptions from foster care or adoptions by gay male couples, the adoption may be open with ongoing visitation or other contact. This contact may be with the birth mother or the extended family. Still, in all of these cases, the exclusive one or two-parent family prevails as a legal matter. Thus, despite the physical impossibility of two parents of the same sex being the exclusive parents of a child, the law regarding adoption and reproductive technology recognizes only two parents and those parents are in those contexts defined around their relationship with each other, rather than a biological relationship with the child. V. Opening Adoption These postmodern families and the porousness of their affective, if not legal, family relations is part of a larger set of movements that have challenged adoption’s myth of rebirth and mandate of secrecy. A decrease in the numbers and percentage of infant adoptions with a corresponding increase in older child adoption through stepparent, relative and foster child adoptions made the rebirth theme of adoption less tenable; for when the child knew or knows his or her birth parents and has actually spent substantial time with them, it is hard to pretend the adoptee was born to the adoptive parent. Relatedly, there has been a rise of openness even in infant adoption as birth mothers gained more autonomy arising from increased reproductive choice and changing legal and social mores. As a result of social and legal movements pushing for a more porous adoption model, open adoption has become the norm in adoption practice, even for infant adoptions wherein the fiction of rebirth had been more tenable than in stepparent, relative and foster child adoptions. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 15 of 18 Increasingly, even after adoption, birth and adoptive families maintain a relationship that includes some form of contact or the potential for contact. Generally, these post-adoption relationships are privately ordered and maintained. In other words, open adoption arrangements are informal and based on the agreement of those people involved and do not carry the force of legal sanction should any of the parties chose to discontinue or otherwise stray from the terms of the agreement. . . . The prevalence of open adoption and the concerns regarding fairness issues in this private ordering have led a number of states to codify such adoptions. These statutes make clear that when open adoptions are entered into under the adoption with contact statute, parties have rights and obligations. Those open adoption agreements that are entered into outside these mechanisms continue to be unregulated. Major factors motivating states to adopt such regulation were the desirability of providing procedures for these arrangements, to make clear when these arrangements are extralegal and when they are subject to enforcement and also, of course, to serve the interests of children in openness. This codification, known also as cooperative adoption or adoption with contact, represents a model of accommodation of family privacy and the existential facts of adoption: that the birth family and adoptive family are tied together through the child; and adopted children are members of two families. Approximately twenty states have adoption with contact statutes. These statutes allow adoptive parents and birth relatives or others at, or before, the time of adoption to enter into enforceable agreements for post-adoption contact, such as visitation or correspondence. The statutes do not permit approval or enforcement of post-adoption contact plans unless the adoptive parents and the party who will have contact agree to such a plan at or before the THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 16 of 18 time of adoption. In this way, the statutes in effect create a new type of adoption in the sense that from the start, the parties are committed to ongoing cooperation around the child. Although the statutes do not permit the failure of post-adoption contact to invalidate the adoption, they do present a significant incursion into the legal and social paradigm of adoption as rebirth. For adoption with contact both acknowledges the child’s pre-adoptive birth ties and brings these connections forward into the adoption, often as a very part of the adoption decree itself. The defining aspects of the statutes are: (1) They do not permit a court to grant an adoption with contact unless the adoptive parents agree. (2) Each statute indicates who must approve of the agreement in order for it to be enforceable later; (3) All but one require the agreement to be in writing, either as a written contract, relinquishment, or court order; (4) They provide for enforcement of the agreements unless there are grounds not to enforce or there are grounds to modify; (5) Most importantly, they provide that the failure of contact will not constitute grounds to vacate the adoption or invalidate a relinquishment. No statutes permit vacation of the adoption or withdrawal of relinquishment as a sanction for breach or modification of the agreement or order. VI. Lessons of Open Adoption and Adoption with Contact Open adoption, but more specifically adoption with contact, shows that it is possible to have bundles of rights, statuses and connections that honor the parent-child and other biological and social relationships, but also protect the authority of the primary legal parents who attain and retain the authority to make important parental decisions regarding their children, [such as where the child will go to school, where the child will live, with whom the child will visit and all of the daily mundane and not so mundane parental determinations.] Even decisions regarding the THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 17 of 18 contact with the birth family are, under adoption with contact and informal open adoption constructs, voluntary – or at least they begin that way. Open adoption also provides examples of community or shared parenting. It undermines the heteronormative model of two-parent, exclusive parenting by recognizing the multiple people who have parental or parent-like relationships with children. These relationships may be biological, social, historical, and may range along a spectrum of quality and quantity. This relatively new model of adoption illustrates the enduring importance of biological and social families and provides an example of how parental rights and relationship needs not be all or nothing – that parents can lose their parental rights but receive the right to maintain a relationship with their children under terms agreeable to both sets of parents. In effect, it provides an opening, creating a more porous, though still largely private and autonomous family system. This model of shared parenting provides examples of shared parenting in other types of families not created through adoption. THE ENDURANCE OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION Page 18 of 18