DFM: Defence Family Matters magazine
December 2013
Welcome from Director General............................................................................ 1
Message from Linda Hurley .................................................................................. 2
What is Defence Community Organisation? ......................................................... 3
Your community .................................................................................................... 3
Stories from your frontline ..................................................................................... 7
Balancing military life with family life ................................................................... 11
Defence kids get smart in Brisbane .................................................................... 12
Born in the USA .................................................................................................. 13
My turn to deploy in the Solomons ...................................................................... 13
Your wellbeing .................................................................................................... 14
Be selfish,volunteer!............................................................................................ 16
History in the making: tell us your stories ............................................................ 17
Supporting veteran families in regional and rural communities ........................... 18
Internet’s a good bet for vets .............................................................................. 18
What’s the haps with apps at Centrelink? ........................................................... 19
Don’t be a twit when you tweet: use social media with care ............................... 20
Grants for community groups, Great and small .................................................. 21
A turning point in our lives ................................................................................... 22
Leaving the military, living the change ................................................................ 23
Defence Families of Australia ............................................................................. 24
Book review: The Lord of the Rings By JRR Tolkien ......................................... 25
About Defence Community Organisation ............................................................ 26
Welcome
In this edition, your stories reflect the courage, sacrifice and resilience of
Defence families. Over the past year I’ve seen the full breadth of support
and care we provide families throughout the deployment and posting cycle.
Importantly, I’ve gained a first-hand understanding of the magnitude of the life
Defence families live, and how much they contribute to making the Australian
Defence Force the powerful and enduring organisation it is.
Much is said about the courage and sacrifice of our military personnel: these
words are equally applicable to the families who support them.
Reading the stories on page 10 gives a terrific insight into exactly how bring.
Pam Porter’s story in particular shows how integral our families are to the wider
community.
In 1986 when she handed down her Supporting Service Families report, Sue
Hamilton noted Defence families’ strong preference for community-led support
and recommended that Defence grant around $150 000 to community groups
each year. DCO offers these community grants to this day, to the tune of around
$1.5 million per year. See page 28 to find out more.
CS Lewis once said ‘We read to know we are not alone’. I hope you read
Defence Family Matters and know that DCO, and the wider Australian community
recognise your courage and sacrifice and stand with you as you support our
servicemen and women.
RAY BROMWICH
DIRECTOR GENERAL DEFENCE
COMMUNITY ORGANISATION
The military way of life has experienced
many changes over the years
When David and I began our military life together 37 years ago, most
families lived in barracks or nearby neighbourhoods. We called them
“married patches”.
Our first home in Kapooka Village in 1978 was a small pre-fabricated fibro house
shipped from Britain after WWII. The wooden floor had holes and the bathroom
floor was so cold your feet stuck to it! Improved housing is one significant change
we’ve seen for military families.
There are now more dual ADF couples, women deploying, and families where
the father is the stay at home parent. Technology is such that it’s easier to stay in
touch when families are separated by deployments or postings.
We now have Defence Families of Australia to advocate for families and Defence
Community Organisation has increased the range of services to support families.
One thing that hasn’t changed is Christmas. It’s still that special time of year
when we can take leave, visit family, have a break from the pressures of Defence
life, share our news, and catch up with the friends we’ve made we’ve made in
this military life.
I collect Christmas decorations and they remind me of the places we’ve been and
the people we have met on postings. I wish our Defence families a very happy,
blessed and relaxing time this Christmas, and we are all thinking of those
separated by deployments or postings over the holiday season.
LINDA HURLEY
PATRON OF THE DEFENCE COMMUNITY
What is Defence Community Organisation?
We are a tri-service organisation within the Department of Defence that
offers a range of programs and services to help Defence families manage
the military lifestyle.
Services we provide include support from a social worker, assistance for
partners’ education and employment, help with childcare, assistance for
dependants with special needs, support for Defence community groups, help for
families during crisis and emergency, education support for children, and
assistance for members leaving the military.
Call us so we can call you
If you would like to receive contact from DCO during your military member’s
deployment, you must register with the Defence Family Helpline first.
We can also provide you with details about local events, SMART resilience
workshops, DCO’s range of support programs, deployment and relocation
resources, and information about your local community.
1800 624 608
Want to read this magazine online?
DFM is available on our website, and you can also choose to opt out of receiving
the printed version of the magazine. Visit www.defence.gov.au/dco and click on
‘Defence Family Matters’.
Want to contribute?
Do you run events or activities that Defence families might be interested in? Do
you provide support services of value to Defence families? Are you a family
member with a great story to tell? If so, send an email to
DefenceFamilyMatters@defence.gov.au
Your community
Out and about
Throughout the year, Defence Community Organisation’s regional offices
host a variety of activities, events and workshops for families experiencing
deployment and military member absence, posting and relocation, and to
help them connect to their community.
In this edition of Out and about we look at some of the events our offices have
been involved with around the country. From social coffee mornings and fun
pizza nights, art and craft for parents and kids alike, to SMART resilience training
workshops—there’s always something going on near you.
DCO Tindal
In September, we helped local community group Network Tindal with the Twilight
Community Fair in Katherine. More than 550 people from the Katherine
community joined in the fun, with highlights including the jumping castle and
petting zoo. Many thanks to base hairdresser Julie for crafting an electrifying
array of coloured hairstyles for kids and adults alike!
Katherine Community Radio broadcasted from the fair, adding to the festive
atmosphere, and local families got to know the local support organisations that
helped out, including Scouts, Lions Club, and Breastfeeding Australia.
DCO Sydney and Liverpool
We’ve been busy this year, running a range of activities and social events. A
KidSMART workshop, run by Transition Aide Petrina Hennessey and DCO Social
Worker Elizabeth Richards at Wattle Grove Public School, helped local primary
school children manage their parent’s deployment or absence from home due to
military service.
We held morning teas at the Pavilion Beachfront Café, Maroubra Beach and the
Alley Break café at Cronulla Beach throughout June and July. Partners from
each service had the chance to meet our staff and hear about our services and
other services and networks in the Sydney area. It was also a great opportunity
to meet new people in a relaxed setting.
During the chilly month of August we ran a pizza night for partners whose military
member was away from home for service reasons. It was a great social evening,
providing families with an opportunity to share experiences, network and connect
with others in a similar situation. Look out for more upcoming events on the DCO
website—including our Christmas carols night on 5 December.
DCO Western Australia
During October we hosted a crafty banner-making afternoon for HMAS Perth
families to create a ‘Welcome home’ banner. While we provided snacks and
everything needed to make a great banner, families crafted up a storm, creating
a colourful artwork to welcome their sailors home.
In September, following a three month deployment, the crew of HMAS
Warramunga took around 250 family members and friends on a half day “at sea
experience” in Cockburn Sound.
There was a simulated fast boat attack, fire fighting demonstration and even a
“crash stop astern”. Guests enjoyed a barbeque lunch and children received their
DCO deployment teddy bears.
Commanding Officer David Tietzel said the trip was an opportunity for families
and friends to see what the crew do on a daily basis. “It’s a rare opportunity for
us to include the support network that allows us to do our job,” he said.
DCO Canberra
In August, we hosted a ‘pizza and panel’ night and invited a range of speakers to
discuss deployment with families. Speakers included experienced Defence
families from each service, a school principal, and two senior school students.
Each gave their perspective on deployment and its effect on schooling and
teenagers.
Defence families keen to learn about the experience of deployment, along with
representatives from Defence support groups, local Transition Aides and DCO
staff, all made for an insightful and informative discussion. Watch the DCO
Facebook page for details on our next information night.
DCO Hunter
Since we helped form a local ‘Defence Empty Nesters No Kids’, or DENNKs,
group at Williamtown in April, members “haven’t looked back”. The group
regularly runs activities like games and cards nights, barefoot bowls, barbeques
in the park, trivia nights and social dinners and lunches.
The group welcomes all ages and currently includes school leavers,
grandparents, couples, singles without kids, parents with grown children, and
people posted away from families.
New members are welcome and, depending on your interests, you can attend as
few or as many activities as you like. If you’re interested in starting up a similar
group in your area, contact the Defence Family Helpline on 1800 624 608.
DCO North Queensland
Cairns families had the chance to meet with Mrs Linda Hurley, Patron of the
Defence Community, at a morning tea in September.
We hosted the event at Gags Patio at HMAS Cairns, overlooking the water and
ships in dock. Our Area Manager, Kim Copeland, said Defence partners and a
few military members, including the Commanding Officer HMAS Cairns, took the
opportunity to speak to Mrs Hurley. “Mrs Hurley was interested in hearing their
stories and the families were also keen to find out about her experiences as a
Defence spouse,” Kim said.
DCO Brisbane
We helped local families create a ‘community canvas’ (pictured page 4) following
a family day at Gallipoli Barracks earlier in the year. Unveiled at the recent
Garrison Family Day, the canvas represents the Defence community in the
greater South-East region and highlights the Gold Coast, Canungra, Brisbane
parks and Gallipoli Barracks.
Our Military Support Officer, Karen Fitzpatrick, said it was wonderful to see so
many Defence families contributing to the canvas. “I never imagined the canvas
would turn out so well,” she said. “It’s great to feel part of such an amazing piece
of art that was created by Defence families for Defence families.”
Connect with your community
The Defence community is a rich and vibrant one. There are associations,
groups, organisations, community houses, social groups, and playgroup
networks from coast to coast for Defence families to access. Get out there
and connect with your community!
Do you run a not-for-profit organisation that provides services of value to
Defence families? Do you manage a playgroup, social club or community group
that a Defence family may be interested in? Contact us at DFM and we’ll profile
you here. Don’t forget to call the Defence Family Helpline on 1800 624 608 to
ensure your group’s details are on the DCO website:
DefenceFamilyMatters@defence.gov.au
NSW | Kookaburra Retreat
Run by the Shoalhaven Defence Families Association, Kookaburra Retreat
supports Defence families and their friends in the Shoalhaven and Illawarra area.
We have great indoor and outdoor play areas and kids are looked after by
qualified nannies from Daisycare Nanny Agency while parents have some time
out in the flat next door.
We offer playgroups, scrapbooking, craft and coffee mornings, pot luck dinners,
ladies’ nights out and shopping trips. It’s a welcoming, supportive environment for
all Defence families in the area.
Flats 1 and 2 Canberra Drive, Nowra Hill Rachel, 02 4421 5766 or 0423 053 170
WA | Marilla House Community Centre
Marilla House offers families and individuals fun activities throughout the week.
There are playgroups three days per week and a Mums and Bubs social group
on Mondays. The MyTime support group is for parents and carers of children
with a disability or chronic medical illness (lunch provided).
The Art Room takes over Marilla House each Friday and is open to all community
members. We’re also keen to start a coffee/support/book club for Defence
members and partners who are child free or have grown children. Membership
fees are $20 per year and $4 per visit.
26 Dargin Way, Rockingham 08 9527 9850
marillahouse@westnet.com.au
SA | Power Community LTD
Power Community Ltd is the community development arm of the Port Adelaide
Football club. We offer an Optimistic Kids program—a positive thinking and
resilience program for children with parents in the military and Defence industry.
The program is for children who have a parent working interstate or overseas
and involves sessions focused on positive thinking, mental strength and
resilience. Children also participate in coaching clinics and receive ticketing to
Port Power games.
Port Adelaide Football Club, dadamson@pafc.com.au
NT | Robertson Barracks Family Group
We have a range of activities for Defence partners and families on Robertson
Barracks and also provide opportunities for Defence families to meet civilian
families. Regular activities include drop-in coffee day (Tuesday), fitness group
and playgroup (both Wednesday and Friday). There are also Ladies’ Dinners
held each month in conjunction with Defence Community Organisation and
Larrakeyah and Billaroy Community Houses.
Other events we’ve run include the ‘Medallions for Children’ ceremony, for kids
whose parents were on deployment for Father’s Day, and a ‘Pamper for Cancer’
fundraising evening.
Lone Pine Chapel Multiuser Centre 08 8925 3710 or 0434 157 821
Rbfg07@yahoo.com.au
QLD | Pine Rivers Community Centre
We offer support services in a welcoming environment for individuals and
families in the Pine Rivers District. These include counselling, legal advice,
opportunities for volunteering, community meeting spaces and a community café.
We’re particularly excited about our great new building—complete with play
space for kids.
We run a Kids Friends mentoring program which connects children with adult
mentors for a year or more to provide a positive role model and improve
development and self-esteem. n865 Gympie Road, Lawnton
07 3889 0063 www.pmc.org.au
Stories from your frontline
DFM speaks to three women who’ve taken different pathways to achieve
their own goals, while dealing with the challenges of relocation,
deployment and the military lifestyle.
Margot Forster, a Group Captain with RAAF, explains why she welcomed an
au pair into her home to help care for and mentor her ten-year-old son. Pam
Porter, Defence partner and mother, tells us how volunteering allowed her to
engage with her community and begin a new career, while Suzie Andric explains
why homeschooling is the best option for her family as they navigate their way
through military life.
Margot Forster joined the Navy in 1982. Her parents were in the entertainment
and restaurant business, and, finding the lifestyle chaotic, the order and structure
of the military appealed to her.
“I spent nearly seven years in the Navy and was one of the first women to serve
at sea,” she says proudly.
“While I loved the Navy life and enjoyed immensely my experience in service,
when I fell pregnant in 1988 I just knew I couldn’t face the idea of returning to sea
and leaving my young baby behind,” Margot says.
“So, I transferred to the Air Force.”
Margot’s journey with balancing childcare, parenting, and fulltime work began,
and as many working parents can attest, it wasn’t a journey without its
challenges.
“In 1989, my husband was an F18 pilot and Rebecca was born while we were
posted to Williamtown. There was no on-base childcare back then and options in
the local community were very limited.
“I relied heavily on the Defence community to support me, and the wife of a
fellow officer took care of Rebecca until our name came to the top of the list of a
childcare centre 15 kilometres off-base.
“Part time employment wasn’t an option back then, and it was a challenging time,
particularly as my husband was deployed regularly with 77 Squadron,” Margot
explains.
When her second child Christopher arrived a few years later, childcare fees were
pretty much the same as Margot’s take-home salary, but she took a long-term
perspective and persisted with her career. For a long time the majority of her
income paid for childcare.
“There were times in the early years when I went away on exercise while my
husband was away, and our childcare costs were more than I earned.
“I remember rushing out of high-level meetings to collect the kids from school,
and juggling before and after school care options. It was a pretty flurried time,”
she says with a wry smile.
“When our third child, Matthew, arrived in 2003 I found myself juggling pickups
and drop-offs to two different schools and daycare!”
To add to an already complicated lifestyle, Christian and Matthew were both born
profoundly deaf, Christian is gifted intellectually, and Matthew is autistic. Margot
found herself working intensively with both, teaching them how to listen and
speak, and learning how to support their unique and individual needs.
“Add special needs to your childcare and education requirements, changing
schools and homes every three years, and an autistic child who doesn’t cope
with change particularly well, and you have a very complex situation!” she
laughs.
Margot could see that as Matthew got older he found it more difficult to settle into
new schools and was developing some behavioural issues.
“Routine and predictability are crucial for autistic people, and the longest we’ve
stayed in one spot during my 33 years in the military is three years,” she
explains.
“The military life can seem chaotic to an autistic child and they struggle with
disrupted routines, new places and changing friendship networks.
“Given that my husband now flies for Qantas out of the Perth crew base, an
autism specialist suggested that Matthew needed a buddy, an older male to be
his friend and help him navigate through aspects of life that autistic children can
struggle with.”
Enter Darien, an au pair from Germany who now lives with the Forster family in
Canberra.
“When I was posted to Canberra in January this year, my family were back in
Adelaide and my husband was working from Perth, I knew something had to
give,” she smiles good naturedly.
She reveals that the recent change to Defence housing policy that allows nonDefence recognised dependants to live in Defence subsidised housing for the
purpose of providing child care came as a godsend.
“This policy change recognises that the military way of life can be unpredictable,
and finding flexible childcare can be near impossible, especially if both parents
are working and children have special needs."
Margot searched for au pairs on the internet, and spoke to a few agencies. She
reviewed au pair profiles, their references and work history, and even Skyped a
few to get to know them in person.
“I was looking for a buddy and a mentor for Matthew, and when I met nineteen
year old Darien I knew he was the right one.”
And Darien has made an enormous difference to the Forster family’s life.
“I can simply get dressed, eat breakfast and leave for work—no more of this
crazy morning schedule where I find myself rushing into work at 9 am feeling like
a wreck!”
Darien gets Matthew out of bed, helps him get dressed and eat breakfast. He
gets everything ready for school, and walks with him right into the classroom.
Every afternoon, he’s waiting for Matthew to walk out of class, takes him home,
gets him a snack, and helps him with his homework.
“It costs less per week than before and after school care, and more importantly,
they’re great friends. Darien is teaching Matthew German, takes him out to play
ball and ride bikes—he basically replaces that network of cousins, aunties and
uncles that we left behind in Adelaide.”
We ask Margot how Matthew has changed since Darien’s arrival.
“Matthew is so much happier now,” she enthuses. “He is calmer, more focussed,
much less anxious. He’s got his buddy now.”
Pam Porter has been part of a Defence family for nine years and has been
posted to as many places. To kickstart her career after being a stay-athome mum, Pam got involved with the local Canberra community and
started volunteering.
“I’ve had three children, each in a different state of the country. As a military
family we’ve had great experiences—good times, and challenging times,” Pam
says.
“Every day, my husband and I say we are so lucky to have seen most of
Australia and we’ve met some great people along the way”
Pam was a full time mum for seven years, and as her youngest child got older,
she decided to move back into work.
She heard about Lifeline on the grapevine and in March this year began
volunteering with their mobile coffee van, Bean Talkin’.
The van attends local events, like school fetes, music festivals and shows, to
raise funds for Lifeline’s 24–7 crisis support line. Pam assists with the recruitment
of volunteers, holds training nights, and helps run the coffee van.
“The experience has given me confidence—I love that I get to work with different
people and see different places. I feel part of the Canberra community, and I’ve
gained a life outside my family which has made me a better person, mum and
wife.”
Importantly, volunteering helped Pam see what she wanted to do with her
future—she wants to continue working for her local community.
“I’m now studying to gain some vocational skills. Defence Community
Organisation is funding me to complete a Certificate IV in Community Service
Work, and I’ve completed Lifeline’s Accidental Counsellor course,” Pam says.
Suzie Andric’s husband joined the Air Force in 2008 and since then they’ve
moved around, making new friends and adapting to changing work
schedules. Suzie found that homeschooling helped her family manage the
military way of life.
“We wanted our children to have a flexible education to match our military
lifestyle, so we explored the possibility of homeschooling,” Suzie says.
“A great benefit we’ve found from homeschooling is that our children can learn at
their own pace and at a level appropriate to their developmental stage.”
Suzie says a typical school day includes reading, spelling, writing, mathematics,
and project time, which is based around her children’s area of interest—usually
science.
“At the moment, we’re studying dinosaurs. Throughout the week we often take
excursions, including visits to the library, playing at the park, trips to the museum
and to community events, and sporting activities with our local home school
group.”
Suzie says that there is a very supportive community of fellow homeschoolers
that she connects with regularly, which helps her kids develop social skills and
interact with children of all ages “without feeling intimidated or reserved”.
She says the flexibility of homeschooling suits her family’s lifestyle perfectly as
they can take school holidays when her husband returns from deployment and
spend time together as a family.
“Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, but it works wonderfully for us. My advice to
families who are thinking of homeschooling is to do your research. Find out more
about each state’s curriculum and decide which is best for you.”
She says being active within the homeschool community is important, as it
becomes a vital support network.
“Many communities have a number of weekly events organised by parents
including swimming, gymnastics, archery, and even horse riding. You can be as
active as you like and will find excellent support and friendship within the
community.” 
Balancing military life with family life
Defence Community Organisation provides a range of support services to
help families balance the military lifestyle with the needs of the family.
Childcare
We run childcare centres across Australia to which Defence families get priority
of access, and can fund partners to set up a family daycare business.
Education
For school-age children, our Regional Education Liaison Officers are available to
advise Defence families on education issues and provide information, resources,
and programs to help minimise the disruption to children’s education caused by
relocation.
Defence also funds in-school Aides and Mentors, who support Defence children
in both primary and high schools through the process of changing schools and
education systems, and also during times of parental absence.
Special needs
Families who have dependants with special needs can obtain practical
assistance, including help accessing housing, therapy, equipment, and respite
when posted to a new location.
Partner support
We can also fund partners of military personnel to find education and
employment opportunities, particularly when they’ve relocated.
Other DCO-delivered services include on-call, all-hours social work support,
funding for community groups, help for families during crisis and emergency, and
assistance for members who wish to leave the military.
Live-in childcare now supported by Defence
Defence has updated its housing policy so that a non-dependent person, like a
family member or an au pair, can now live in Defence subsidised housing for the
purpose of providing childcare without affecting entitlements.
Visit www.defence.gov.au/dpe/pac to read the details.
1800 624 608
www.defence.gov.au/dco
www.facebook.com/ DefenceCommunityOrganisation
Defence kids get smart in Brisbane
MIRANDA BALL
Marg Crowley, Wendy Modini and Cathy Dellit from Defence Community
Organisation Brisbane run regular KidSMART workshops.
I spoke to Marg and discovered that kids really love learning about Tyler Turtle’s
adventures on the Great Barrier Reef.
“We run four KidSMART workshops each year to help primary aged children
manage any issues arising from posting, parental absence and deployment,” said
Marg.
“Through games, art and craft activities, and a relaxation session, we teach
children techniques to use when feeling stressed or anxious.”
The KidSMART mascots, Tyler Turtle and Sam Super, are easy for the kids to
relate to and make the day fun, helping them work out ways of managing sad
and angry feelings.
Tyler Turtle’s undersea adventures are particularly appealing to young children,
helping them to understand the importance of letting their at-home parent know
of any concerns or worries they may have.
“Parents tell us that the workshops taught their children to manage their emotions
and they now talk more openly about the absence of their parent,” said Marg.
“This means that when mum or dad go away, children are better able to manage
the changes in their family and any stresses they may experience.”
To register your interest in attending a face-to-face SMART workshop contact the
all-hours Defence Family Helpline.
1800 624 608
Born in the USA
MIA GINNIVAN
There’s been an Aussie baby boom in Jacksonville, Florida, thanks to a group of
Navy families. I spoke to proud new mum Vanessa Talbot about life in the United
States.
New Squadron 725 was formed in the US earlier this year to train on the new
Seahawk Romeo helicopter, and its families have already welcomed five new
babies. Commanding Officer David Frost said the entire squadron had welcomed
the arrival of each newborn.
“If we keep this rate up, we’ll return home with more US passports than
Australian,” David joked.
Vanessa Talbot, whose husband Peter is a training officer with the squadron,
arrived in Florida in February, and gave birth to baby Olivia in June.
Vanessa said the experience would have been difficult without her tight support
network in Jacksonville.
“I must admit the idea of having a baby overseas away from my family was
daunting, but the support I’ve received here in Jax from other Aussies has been
amazing and made a significant difference,” Vanessa said.
“I feel like I’ve made some really good, long term friends, including new American
mums I met during birthing classes and prenatal yoga.”
Vanessa expects her family will remain posted to Jacksonville until the end of
2014 and has enjoyed the experience so far.
Jacksonville is one of the largest cities by area in the USA and the most
populated in Florida.
“It is quite a diverse city, and in the area we live, St Johns, there are some great
schools and lots of families with young children,” Vanessa explained.
“In general people here are very friendly, helpful and family orientated.”
Vanessa has also enjoyed the opportunity to travel to places like The Bahamas
and Mexico, and is planning a trip to Quebec City in Canada to enjoy a white
Christmas.
Vanessa said the Aussies also enjoyed the American supermarket experience.
“Who knew you could buy cheese in a spray can!”
My turn to deploy in the Solomons
MAREE SIROIS
Earlier this year, I joined 27 employers of Defence Force Reservists on
Exercise Boss Lift, enjoying a rare opportunity to see Australian Defence
Force soldiers with OPERATION ANODE.
My Navy husband has been to almost every nation in the Pacific and when I
found out I was going, I gleefully told him, “I’m going somewhere you’ve never
been!”
We were told to wear long pants and sleeves to avoid bites from malaria and
dengue fever-carrying mosquitoes and, disturbingly, to avoid scuffing our feet in
the jungle and fields as there is unexploded ordinance from World War II on the
island of Guadalcanal.
Despite these warnings, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something so
very different to my everyday existence, so when we were given the chance to
fire an assault weapon, I took it on as a challenge.
Firing the Austeyr made me feel a little nervous, and I had to laugh when
afterwards a mischievous soldier told me that if I were in his section I’d need
special assistance!
During the visit I met Ian Decker, who is both boss and father of Reservist Nigel
Decker. Ian told me the deployment was a great opportunity for Nigel, and
described his pride as he watched his son go from son to worker to soldier.
“I actually laid down in the grass beside Nigel during the ambush demonstration,”
he explained. “He went all serious and suddenly I saw a soldier there.”
Nigel agreed that his deployment helped him feel more confident about one day
taking over the family business, pointing out that new leadership skills were the
most significant thing he gained from the deployment.
During Boss Lift, I found it deeply gratifying to see civilians appreciate our armed
forces and recognise the wonderful character traits that are alive in my own
military family.
Your wellbeing
The military lifestyle presents a unique set of circumstances to families, and how
well we cope with these is strongly related to our wellbeing and the wellbeing of
those around us.
Wellbeing is a complex combination of a person's physical, mental, emotional
and social health factors. Your wellbeing is about how you feel about yourself
and your life: it’s about the whole person.
In this and future editions of DFM, Defence Community Organisation’s Julia
Esprey-Barton will discuss issues around personal and community wellbeing.
Thinking about reintegration
Reintegration is the phase following deployment when the military member
returns home. During this time, it takes time and effort for the whole family to get
used to each other again.
To reintegrate means to ‘restore as a whole, to make or be made into a whole
again’. Reintegration is about re-entering the family as it is now, which will be
different to what it was before deployment. Similarly, the military member may
have changed during the time they’ve been away.
Time and experience changes us. Children grow up, adults get older and we
each react to absence and change in our own way. While it’s exciting to welcome
your military member home, there can also be an awkward period following
reunion before things settle down.
There are three typical stages of reintegration. The ‘honeymoon’ stage is
characterised by a sense of euphoria and relief. The family focuses on being
together, catching up, and sharing experiences, and tends to avoid dealing with
conflicts or annoyances.
The ‘adjustment’ stage kicks in when the pressures of daily life become more
evident. Couples may feel irritated with each other as the presence of the military
member disrupts routines established while they were away, and families realise
that roles and expectations have changed and are being tested.
The final ‘integration’ stage is characterised by a decrease in conflict because
families address disagreements and settle into new roles and routines.
During reintegration, it is normal to feel anxiety, impatience, and even
resentment. Some may feel angry at their military member’s absence, especially
if important events took place while they were gone. Others may feel resentment
over changes to the family dynamic, roles or responsibilities. Children in
particular find it hard to adjust to new things and seek familiar, comfortable
routines.
These feelings and phases are a normal part of reintegration, which is another
chapter in your military life story.
My time, my pace, my space
These days I’m feeling more caught up in the proverbial rat race than ever
before. Juggling the demands of family life while preparing myself and my family
for WHAT LIES AHEAD, it’s easy to feel time-poor and a little overwhelmed.
If this sounds familiar, you may be interested in attending a SMART workshop,
which helps families of military personnel to identify and build on their strengths,
learn techniques to manage challenge and change, and become resilient, selfreliant and proactive.
Defence Social Workers deliver our series of SMART programs in face-to-face
workshops across Australia, and two are now available online to be completed in
your own time, at your own pace and in your own space.
FamilySMART Resilience will help you manage negative self-image and selfcriticism, navigate through crisis and anxiety, overcome obstacles, and bolster
your optimism, take chances and embrace life.
FamilySMART Reintegration addresses the phase following deployment when
the military member returns home and gives families insights and skills to help
them adjust during this time of change.
I understand families are busy juggling competing priorities, which is why the
online training package is so appealing. You can complete it in your own time,
even over several sittings.
Over the coming months we will be releasing our other SMART workshops
online, so be sure to keep an eye on DCO’s Facebook page to find out more.
www.defence.gov.au/dco
1800 624 608
DefenceFamilyHelpline@defence.gov.au
www.facebook.com/DefenceCommunityOrganisation
Be selfish,volunteer!
DEFENCE COMMUNITY ORGANISATION BRISBANE
Volunteering allows us to help others and give back to the community, and
can improve our own wellbeing. We speak to Candy Hunter, Family Liaison
Officer in Defence Community Organisation’s Brisbane office, about the
benefits of being a volunteer.
Candy has connected many Defence families with volunteering opportunities and
says that it’s a great way to meet new people and make new friends.
“You can gain valuable workplace experience and have fun, all while making a
difference to a cause you care about,” Candy says, noting that there are also
physical benefits to volunteering, such as stress reduction.
“The positive emotions you feel as a result of doing things for others can reduce
stress and put things in perspective.”
Candy has found that volunteering also allows people to shift their attention from
focusing on negatives to focusing on self-fulfilment and achievable outcomes.
“When you are kind to other others, you improve your own happiness, optimism,
confidence and control,” she says.
Warrant Officer Class 2 Karen Fitzpatrick also works at our Brisbane office and is
a volunteer with Guide Dogs Queensland. She is currently working with guide
dog ‘Hamish’ and says the experience has been both fun and rewarding.
Candy points out that volunteering can range from short-term to long-term
activities or can be one-off events.
“Young Diggers, Legacy, Department of Veterans’ Affairs and the Pine Rivers
Neighbourhood Centre are some of the many organisations looking for
volunteers in Queensland.
“Volunteering Australia’s website also has links to information and available
positions for all states and territories.”
02 6251 4060
www.volunteering australia.org
History in the making: tell us your stories
AUTRALIAN WAR MEMORIAL
Partners of Australian Defence Force personnel can share their stories as part of
a new oral history project at the Australian War Memorial.
The Memorial is recording interviews with partners who want to share their
stories of past deployments.
To date, these stories have examined how couples met, how partners have
learnt about the military, the highs and lows of deployments, and reunions. The
interviews are informal, and designed to focus on the partner, their story and their
interpretation of military life.
The Memorial is recording these stories so future generations can understand
what it was like to be the partner of military personnel serving in current conflicts.
One partner spoke about her experience of separation during deployments.
“[My story] comes with pride, a little bit of anxiety and hopefully—and I really
believe that, particularly after his last experiences when he came back and we
spoke about it—that they are making a difference,” she said.
Interviews have begun with partners who want to share their deployment stories
of preparation, separation and reunion.
These recordings assist the Memorial to better understand and represent
contemporary experiences of Defence families to the Australian public. The
information gained may be used for future research, exhibitions and publications.
The Memorial is seeking partners of military members who’ve served in current
day conflicts to be part of this exhibition. The first round of interviews will be held
in specially designed recording studios at the Memorial, so interested partners
will need to travel to Canberra. However, we also want to hear from partners
outside the ACT who would like to be involved in the project.
filmsound@awm.gov.au
Supporting veteran families in regional and
rural communities
VETERANS AND VETERANS FAMILIES COUNSELLING SERVICE
For people in rural and remote locations, counselling services can be
expensive and difficult to access. Through its extensive network of
counsellors, Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service (VVCS) is
working to reach people everywhere.
VVCS provides free and confidential individual, couple and family counselling to
veterans and their families.
The service has 15 centres and a network of over 700 outreach counsellors who
assist people in rural and remote areas of Australia, as well as those in major
centres.
VVCS provides telephone counselling when face-to-face counselling isn’t
possible due to mobility restrictions or extreme remoteness.
Counsellors are qualified psychologists and social workers with experience
working with veterans and the ex-service community. They assist with concerns
such as anxiety, depression, anger, sleep difficulties, PTSD, relationship and
family issues, and alcohol misuse.
When you first contact VVCS, a counsellor will complete a 15–30 minute intake
interview, check your eligibility and advise whether VVCS is the most appropriate
service for your needs.
1800 011 046
www.dva.gov.au/vvcs
Internet’s a good bet for vets
DEPARTMENT OF VETERANS’ AFFAIRS
Defence families can now lodge compensation claims on the Department of
Veterans’ Affairs website, making it easier and quicker to lodge new
applications.
Using the online form at www.dva.gov.au, you can enter your details and upload
supporting documents to initiate an online claim.
The service is available to current serving members who have been injured or
suffered an illness relating to their Defence service, so if your military member fits
this category, tell them about this online service.
The service has built-in instructions to ensure applicants provide all relevant
information.
In addition to enabling compensation claims, the Department of Veterans’ Affairs
website provides a range of tools to help the families of veterans navigate
available support services.
The popular Self Assessment Wizard is a simple interactive tool that asks a
series of questions to assess whether veterans have an entitlement. Available on
the Department’s home page, the wizard has processed over 25 000
assessments since its launch in May 2012.
The Benefits Guide allows Defence families to view possible compensation
amounts and other entitlements, while the At Ease website provides tips,
treatment options and resources to support the mental health of families,
veterans and current serving members.
In preparation for the Centenary of Anzac in 2015, www.dva.gov.au delivers
information on official commemorations, which acknowledge and commemorate
the service and sacrifice of all those who served Australia and its allies in wars,
conflicts and peace operations.
If you are a descendant of a commemorated veteran you can search for details
of commemorations, including photos. You can also upload your own photos,
which the Department of Veterans’ Affairs will consider for publication. Members
of the public can also lodge new requests for official commemorations.
133 254 or 1800 555 254 (for regional callers)
www.dva.gov.au
What’s the haps with apps at Centrelink?
DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES
A popular new mobile app is making it easier for military families to stay in
touch with Centrelink services, saving them valuable time.
If you receive family or childcare assistance from Centrelink, you can now use
the Express Plus Families app on your phone or mobile device to manage your
affairs.
The app is tailored to your personal circumstances. If, for example, you receive
Family Tax Benefit, you can use the app to view and update your family income
estimate.
If you receive childcare assistance, you can view your Child Care Benefit and
Child Care Rebate details and even claim your Child Care Benefit for approved
care using the app.
You can update your details, view your online letters, and read Centrelink’s latest
news for families from the app.
To use the Express Plus Families mobile app you need to have an online
Centrelink account. The app can be downloaded from the App Store or Google
Play and has already been downloaded more than half a million times since its
launch in late 2012.
Express Medicare
Medicare also offers services through its Express Plus Medicare app.
You can view your claim history, update your contact and back account details
and view your Medicare Safety Net Information and Child Immunisation History
Statement.
Claiming Medicare benefits at your doctor’s surgery is still the easiest option, but
if your doctor doesn’t have this service, you can claim using the app.
To get started, create a myGov account at my.gov.au, then link your Medicare
account. You can also use this account to link other Australian Government
online services such as Centrelink, Child Support and your eHealth record.
www.humanservices.gov.au/ expressplus
www.facebook.com/ familyupdateAU my.gov.au
Don’t be a twit when you tweet: use social
media with care
DEFENCE FAMILY MATTERS STAFF
As a Defence family member, being mindful of the content you post to
Facebook and other social media sites will help protect the online security
of both yourself and your military member.
Once information is ‘out there’, it’s virtually impossible to erase completely—it’s
safe to assume that you lose control of any information you post on social
networking sites.
Here are a few tips to help you and your family be more secure when using
social networking sites.
SET YOUR PROFILE TO ‘PRIVATE’ to ensure that information you post online
is visible only to people you know.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST and don’t post personal details like your job details,
address and phone numbers, information about your family routine, holiday plans
or your children’s schools.
CONSIDER OPERATIONAL SECURITY and do not disclose the location of your
military member.
BE CAUTIOUS about accepting ‘friend’ requests, and only accept requests from
people you’ve met in person.
TURN OFF GPS to prevent location data being shared online. Photos taken on a
smartphone will contain the GPS coordinates where the photo was taken. Use
the GPS sparingly on your mobile and turn it off when you are done.
SUPERVISE CHILDREN and educate them about what not to share over the
internet. The Stay Smart Online website has some great advice to help children
and parents manage their online presence.
BE NICE and respect others’ privacy, be polite and treat other users with
respect. Be clear that your opinions are your own and remember, if you say
something online it’s up there forever!
Social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and so-on are fun and
useful ways to keep in touch with friends and family here and overseas—just stay
alert and approach them with open eyes.
www.staysmartonline.gov.au
When posting to DCO’s Facebook page, or any social media site, remember: Be
clear that your opinions are your own, respect privacy, be polite and treat other
users with respect, Be mindful of operational security and do not disclose the
location of your military member.
Consider the Facebook guidelines with respect to lawful Facebook use and see
Facebook’s community standards for its expectations of users.
www.facebook.com/communitystandards
Grants for community groups, Great and
small
MIRANDA BALL
Community based non-profit groups received grants from Defence
community organisation in September this year.
I spoke to Noni O’Hara from Tasmania’s Dowsing Point Community Centre about
what the grants mean to local Defence families.
“The grant means we can staff the centre with a coordinator who oversees its
daily activities and produces a monthly newsletter that’s sent to local Defence
families,” Noni explained.
“We can also run weekly craft and playgroup sessions to help families overcome
social isolation and build support networks with each other.”
This captures the spirit of our grants scheme: it’s there to support the
organisations that help Defence families manage military life.
Grants are awarded to organisations across the country that help families to
network and engage with their local community, build their personal growth
through hobby and interest groups, and support child and youth development
through activities for parents, teens and children.
This year, funding totalling around $1.5 million is shared among a range of notforprofits that offer services of value to Defence families— from playgroups like
the Gungahlin Defence Families Playgroup in Canberra and the Amberley
Playgroup in Queensland, to publications like the Top Ender magazine in Darwin,
and youth sporting groups like South Australia’s Power Community Ltd.
Even Defence families posted to far-flung places like Papua New Guinea and
Karatha in the Pilbara region of Western Australia can access organisations
supported by this grants scheme.
The Dowsing Point Community Centre is grateful for the funding.
“Our centre provides a friendly environment for local military families to socialise,
network and enjoy some welcome time out” said Noni.
“This grant means we can make a daily difference to Defence families in
Tasmania.”
1800 624 608
DefenceFamilyHelpline@defence.gov.au
www.defence.gov.au/dco
A turning point in our lives
DEFENCE FAMILY MATTERS STAFF
Bev Murray tells DFM how Mates4Mates, an organisation that supports
wounded, injured and ill military personnel, is helping her family overcome
trauma and difficult times.
Bev’s son Ty joined the Army in 2004 when he was 17, and deployed to
Afghanistan with 6RAR in 2010.
Ty’s first deployment was difficult for Bev, her two other sons and their tight-knit
community of Bombala in southern NSW.
“Contact from Ty was sporadic and we waited with baited breath every time news
came through of another casualty,” Bev says.
“So many of the soldiers in the Mentoring Taskforce came home battle weary
with scars that would haunt them for years to come, and I worried about the
mental state of Ty and his Army brothers.”
As Ty went on two more deployments, Bev worried about her son’s health and
wellbeing.
“He was desperately unhappy,” she said. “I knew he was trying to protect me
from this insidious feeling of gloom that was overtaking him.”
Earlier this year, Bev saw two of Ty’s fellow soldiers talking about Mates4Mates
in a television interview.
“The boys seemed so much better than when I had last seen them. I rang my son
and asked him to go and have a look at Mates4Mates, just to check out what
they are doing.”
Ty did go to Mates4Mates and his mother describes the decision as “a turning
point in our lives”.
Mates4Mates include all family members and emphasise mateship and
camaraderie in their rehabilitation programs, particularly the “Adventure
Challenges”.
Earlier this year Ty took part in a Kokoda Trek and a gruelling 900 km ocean
paddle from Sydney to Brisbane.
“With Mates4Mates, soldiers draw on each other’s strengths and support each
other, just as they did in the heat of combat,” Bev says.
“Our journey is by no means ended, but with the positive love and support of
Mates4Mates, we are definitely heading in the right direction.”
1300 462 837
www.mates4mates.org
Leaving the military, living the change
WENDY ADDISION
At some point in their career, all military members will transition out of the
military and back into civilian life. It’s a process that involves the whole
family, and planning early will make your transition as smooth and
successful as possible.
Positioned on or near military establishments, ADF Transition Centres can link
members into Defence and Australian Government support services and help
with the administrative aspects of the transition.
Military personnel and their families can make an appointment to visit an ADF
Transition Centre at any time, not only when they are planning an imminent
separation from Defence.
Partners or parents are also welcome to attend an ADF Transition Seminar,
which are held throughout the year and provide information, advice and
resources to help plan the move to civilian life.
Some military personnel may be eligible for entitlements to assist with the
transition to civilian employment, including vocational work experience, career
coaching, resumé writing, approved absence for career transition activities, and
financial counselling.
These entitlements are described in Defence’s Pay and Conditions Manual.
It’s never too early to think about transitioning to civilian life, and advice and
assistance is never far away. To start, visit the Transitions website or call the
Defence Family Helpline for advice.
1800 624 608
www.defence.gov.au/ transitions
www.defence.gov.au/dpe/pac
Defence Families of Australia
After almost four years I will leave my role as national convenor with
Defence Families Australia at the end of this year. It’s with mixed feelings
that I move on—on one hand, I’ll be leaving a meaningful job that I love; on
the other, my future beckons.
The best part of being DFA’s convenor was knowing I could directly discuss
issues of core importance for families with senior decision makers and leaders in
politics and the military.
Over the years I talked to ADF members and family members on a daily basis. I
also visited bases and met families around Australia, gaining an awareness and
understanding of the military lifestyle from the perspective of all services and
most localities.
I met some truly amazing people who have conquered great challenges as a
result of injury or circumstance, and community members who are devoted to
supporting Defence families.
This role gave me the opportunity to think and speak with my heart as well as my
head. I have been able to bring Defence families’ stories to light, to influence
policy and bureaucracy and watch positive change occur as a result.
The improved support to families of lateral recruits, the National Family
Identification card, the ADF Family Pin, and the expansion of DVA support to
veterans are some of the most exciting changes to have taken place over the last
four years.
Another positive change for families is the recent change to Defence housing
policy that allows non-Defence recognised dependants to live in subsidised
housing for childcare purposes.
As the military changes its operational tempo over the coming years, it is critical
that families are still seen as an extension of capability, even during periods
where there are fewer high-profile overseas operations.
I’m glad DFA will be there to ensure family remain in focus.
I encourage you to continue working together to ensure any policy changes
remain loyal to both the important role Defence plays in our society and the
critical role families play in operational capability and in the wider community.
Performing this role has been a privilege and I’m grateful to the many people who
have supported DFA and me personally since I took on the role as the ACT
Delegate in 2009.
I’d like to thank the DFA admin, delegates, local family representatives, the
Defence ministers and their advisers, General David Hurley, Air Marshal Mark
Binskin and the Service chiefs, Liz Cosson, Major General Gerard Fogarty,
Defence Community Organisation staff, Defence Housing Australia, Toll
Transition, Defence housing policy staff, Department of Veterans’ Affairs, the
service personnel groups, Chaplain Rob and external ex-service organisations.
I’m also very grateful to my own family and friends who have been there to listen,
advise and tolerate the DFA mobile phone during this time.
I’m not sure where my next role will take me. I will most likely return to nursing
and midwifery in some form, but today I see a quiet beach with my husband and
children and me reading a trashy novel!
1800 100 509
convenor@dfa.org.au
www.dfa.org.au
www.facebook.com/DefenceFamiliesofAustralia
About Defence Families of Australia
Defence Families of Australia (DFA) is a volunteer network chartered by Defence
and Government in 1985 to provide independent representation of Defence
families and to provide advice in policy making and service provision planning.
Families can contact their DFA representative to advocate with them and for
them at a local level.
National delegates
ACT/Southern NSW act.sthnsw@dfa.org.au
Central and Northern NSW central.nsw@dfa.org.au
North Queensland nth.qld@dfa.org.au
South Queensland sth.qld@dfa.org.au
Western Australia wa@dfa.org.au
South Australia sa@dfa.org.au
Victoria/Tasmania vic.tas@dfa.org.au
Northern Territory and Kimberley nt@dfa.org.au
Book review: The Lord of the Rings
By JRR Tolkien
LEILA FETTER
As we build up to Christmas it’s time to think about taking on the mother of
all holiday reading projects: The Lord of the Rings.
Tolkien’s masterpiece has captured the imagination of readers for over sixty
years and remains consistently popular. The influence The Lord of the Rings has
had on modern storytelling is pivotal—it’s largely due to this book that the fantasy
fiction genre exists.
The storyline is well known and relatively straightforward: Frodo Baggins, a
hobbit living in Middle Earth, must take the One Ring of power into the realm of
the Dark Lord Sauron to destroy it and save the world from Sauron’s control.
While he is on his quest, a company of elves and humans mount a desperate
military campaign to deflect Sauron’s attention and allow Frodo enough time to
succeed.
Through the story, Tolkien develops many themes that are as significant now as
they were when the book was published in 1954.
The hobbits demonstrate the pleasures of a simple life lived close to nature—
Frodo’s sole companion is Sam Gamgee who is a gardener, not a warrior.
The enduring strengths of friendship, loyalty and love overcome the evils of
greed and corruption, while human weakness and fallibility are contrasted with
the value of forgiveness and redemption.
The Lord of the Rings is not for the faint-hearted. Most modern editions combine
the story into one volume of around 1000 pages, so it does represent a
considerable commitment of time.
The investment is worth it. Tolkien has created a world of staggering detail and
depth, making every element of Middle Earth clear to the reader.
The geography, the quest, the people and their languages all fire the imagination,
making such a clear vision that it is quite possible to finish a chapter, look up and
be surprised to find oneself back in reality.
About Defence Community Organisation
Need advice, support or connection with your local community? Call the all-hours
Defence Family Helpline on 1800 624 608
The Defence Community Organisation offers a range of programs and services
to help Defence families manage the military way of life.
The best way to access these services or gain referral to a local DCO office is to
contact the Defence Family Helpline at DefenceFamilyHelpline@defence.gov.au
or on 1800 624 608.
The Helpline is available 24-7 and is staffed by qualified human services
professionals including social workers and psychologists.
You can also email the Helpline on DefenceFamilyHelpline@defence.gov.au
Defence Family Matters magazine is brought to you by Defence Community
Organisation
Defence Family Matters
Department of Defence
PO Box 7920 Canberra BC ACT 2610
www.defence.gov.au/dco
DefenceFamilyMatters@defence.gov.au
Fax 02 6265 8852
ISSN 1447-929x