I Want Them to Hear Me and I Don’t Want to Be Invisible No More: The Voices of the Women of the
Bridges Project
Susan Rodger, Faculty of Education.
The University of Western Ontario, London ON srodger2@uwo.ca
Women who have experienced trauma, from here referred to as ‘experienced women’, are enrolled in an alternative education program, the Bridges Project and this year eighteen women took part in two projects involving creative writing and photography, and a series of interviews, to explore their creative voices and talk about their participation in these projects as experienced women. The focus of the current paper is to use the results of this work and the role it plays in understanding women’s strengths and the barriers they face to education. In preparation for the submission of the current paper to this conference, I asked the women of the Bridges Project for their input. Their support for my presence at this conference was resounding and when I asked them what they wanted me to tell you most of all they crafted the following statement,
“I want them to hear me and I don’t want to be invisible no more.”
Relational-Cultural Theory
Relational-Cultural Theory (RCT) was developed through the groundbreaking work of Jean
Baker Miller in the 1970s and 1980s. Dissatisfied with the then accepted model of human development that valued independence, competitiveness, and autonomy Miller and her colleagues put forward a theory that outlined for women – and subsequently for much broader populations – the notion that “all growth develops in connection, all people yearn for connection, and that growth-fostering relationships are created through mutual empathy and empowerment” (p. 1, Jordan & Hartling). This revolution in the theoretical underpinnings of human development is used as the framework for the Bridges Project and it guides both the daily and immediate decisions as well as the longer-term ones. For example, daily the women engage in group work that gives them the opportunity to teach, mentor and support one another in recognition of the yearning for connection and the reciprocity necessary for growth-fostering relationships. In the larger picture theory components have been used to frame research results and guide the development of activities, data collection and analysis.
A Brief Review of Issues of Importance
Although it is beyond the scope of this paper to go into detail regarding important underlying issues for research in adult education and particularly with experienced women, the work and the people involved are better served by researchers and educators when we consider the current research in the context of these issues. It is important to consider the impact we have as researchers when working with people from vulnerable populations, particularly in an applied research setting. There are four major issues of importance here, namely the selection and measurement of outcomes of interest, the coercive
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nature of applied research, the risk of harm to experienced women, and the provision of experiences that are positive and affirming for participants.
In terms of outcomes, we need to be mindful of the accessibility to desired outcomes for experienced women. For example, what underlies the choice of credit attainment as a desired outcome?
Importantly, an outcome such as credit attainment may not be accessible because of poverty (no money to buy the books) or safety (her homework was destroyed or she was kept awake by an abuse the night before a big presentation). Next, given the potentially coercive nature of the relationship between the studies and the studier, it is imperative that when working with women who have experienced violence, we examine both what we ask them to do in terms of the research and the level of their participation in guiding and defining both daily activities and larger projects or initiatives. While keeping these important considerations in mind, it is also critical to develop an understanding and take responsibility for ethical practice. It is important to consider the level of risk (past, present, and cumulative) for experienced women and what that means in terms of their presence and participation in the program. Overarching this, ethical and human rights standards demand that we give women choices, provide opportunities for selfdiscovery and determination, and put her safety and her needs before those of the research.
Methodologies
Fairly recently, scholars within and outside psychology have begun to explore the alternative research methodologies and potential healing properties offered through expressive writing and visual expression. These are not new concepts within psychology and counselling, however, as many early theories of psychotherapy accounted for the therapeutic value in talking about one’s distressing life events and engaging in art-based activities. For instance, from abreaction theory and made known by Freud’s
“talking cure”, it was thought that recovering and expressing memories of traumatic experience could be remarkably beneficial (Lepore & Smyth, 2003).
Pioneered by anthropologists who analyze objects with the goal of deriving insight into the values and beliefs of specific cultures, photonovella is a derivative method of bringing awareness and understanding around the experiences of a particular group (Berman, Ford-Gilboe, Mountey & Cekic,
2001). In terms of counselling, using client-produced photographs in a counseling setting can engage the client and counselor in an active process, looking for personal meaning in the taking and interpretation of photographs (Amerikaner, Schusable & Ziller, 1980). These methodologies, whether for research or for counselling, must be examined carefully for evidence regarding potential harm, ethical practice, and efficacy. Although a review of these issues is beyond the scope of this paper, it must be noted that although some research has found writing about trauma to be therapeutic (e.g Pennebaker, 1990) and may help organize and make sense of the many features of largely complex events (Henke, 1998; Pennebaker,
1990), complex traumatic life events can be more difficult to comprehend and understand (Pennebaker &
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Seagal, 1999). Further, in cases of chronic and severe trauma, it may not be possible for victims to fully recall their experiences, let alone organize and comprehend them (Herman, 1997; van der Kolk, 1996).
Creative Expression as Intervention
Inviting survivors to write and devise their own agenda is empowering and in line with a feminist, client-centered therapeutic framework. Within this framework, this paper presents cases of writing and photography (along with narrative about self-selected photographs) incorporated in a unique learning context for women with severe histories of violence and abuse with the aforementioned framework.
Benefits of writing for trauma survivors
Despite some caution around writing as an intervention with survivors of sexual abuse, there is a great deal of literature that promotes the application of writing in trauma recovery. In fact, writing in therapy or as a therapeutic tool has a long-standing history. ‘Homework’, for instance, has often been incorporated in psychotherapy, along with the popularization of ‘journaling’ as a method of healing
(Bonck & Gray, 2005; Lepore & Smyth, 2003). Pennebaker and Seagal (1999) explain, “having clients keep a journal may facilitate the process of forming a narrative about their experiences, and reinforce progress and support change of maladaptive behaviours” (p. 1251). Further, writing (and photography) may allow survivors the opportunity to name their experiences that may be too difficult to speak about, thus, providing “a location to write the unspeakable” (Wright, 2005, p. 117). Allowing for an immediacy of expression of feelings (Wright, 2005), writing can be an outlet for some survivors who may not want to disclose or talk to others due to negative past experiences of not being believed (Pritchard & Sainsbury,
2004). Moreover, given that much therapy is not financially accessible for marginalized populations, writing is an easily accessible and cost effective form of support and coping (Bonck & Gray, 2005;
Lepore & Smyth, 2003).
What may also play a role in survivors healing through writing, which is difficult to statistically identify, is the increased agency, strength, empowerment and sense of control survivors may gain through the writing process. Wright points out that expressive writing may strengthen the ‘self-help’ feature of therapy, enabling the client to ‘be her own therapist’ (Wright, 2005). Writing a narrative might also enable a distancing from the events, allowing the survivor to review, refine and revise, further adding to the a sense of control (Moffett, 2007).
Telling one’s trauma story is outlined as one of the key stages of recovery in Herman’s (1997) seminal work on trauma therapy, Trauma and Recovery . In it, she states, “the physioneurosis induced by terror can apparently be reversed through the use of words” (p. 183). Through telling and retelling, the understanding and experience of the trauma can change, and new meaning gained; hence, understanding is gained not from the experience itself, but through the repeated telling, retelling (Gilbert, 2002) and reexperiencing (MacCurdy, 2007).
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A promise in writing for survivors may be in the ‘breaking of silence’, which is important for survivors realizing true psychological and social repair (Stepakoff, 2007). Telling their stories can help overturn feelings of shame and helplessness victims commonly experience (Harris, 2003; Herman, 1997).
Through trauma as testimony, and the bearing witness of others, psychological reintegration and healing is cultivated (Felman & Daub, 1992; Herman, 1997). In their study with Holocaust survivors, for example, Felman and Daub learned that “being listened to is the process wherein the cognizance, the
‘knowing’ of the vent is given birth to” (p. 57). Thus, the audience/reader is part of the healing process, the narrative dialogic (Harter et al, 2005).
As more than simply functional skills of reading and writing, literacy is in essence a form of cultural and symbolic ‘capital’ within the distribution of resources (Lee, 1996), which are unequally accessible in discourses, issues of identity and of individual social mobility (Foucault, 1984), as well as the wider processes of citizenship and nation building (Stromquist, 1995). For Giroux (1993), the possibilities of social justice offered through literacy remain in “practices of representation that disrupt or rupture existing textual, epistemological, and ideological systems” (p. 367). Literacy can, therefore, be subversive in problematizing representation, demonstrating the fluidity of meaning and discourse, and allowing for a dialogue with others from different social locations (Giroux, 1987).
Brady and Hernandez (1993) call for a politics of difference that validates women’s experiences in particular, by having women speak and reclaim alternate histories, identities, and knowledge in “an attempt to shift power from the exclusionary and often colonizing discourse of the privileged to those groups in the margins, ultimately, by transforming the margins as multiple sites of power” (p. 330). Such an aim requires collective work, as shared knowledge and narratives found in community are imperative for working towards righting the inequalities within the current hierarchal sociopolitical order.
As well as social and political power, writing and sharing narratives of healing and survival helps bring about empathic connection with others, strengthening relationships with other survivors, family, and community and society (Harris, 2003). Creating community with others through talking and writing alleviates feelings of isolation and helplessness (Moffett, 2007) as well as instills trust and faith and connection with others (Walker, 2007), which fosters growth and healing for survivors. Reconnection, in fact, is the third stage in recovery according to Herman (1997), a process that she likens to immigration, as survivors “must build a new life within a radically different cultural from the one they left behind” (p.
196).
One way a sense of community and a positive context for women to engage in writing may be attained is through involvement in specialized educational programming for women with histories of trauma and violence. Many women, for instance, are often deprived of intellectual capacity and thus feel insecure about intellectual work and fear grappling with new ideas and information (hooks, 2000, p. 115).
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Trauma survivors in particular are insecure and have low self-esteem, which can pose significant challenges when learning (Horsman, 1999). Because of low self-esteem, instruction in small, women-only groups could help them develop confidence (Stromquist, 1990). A supportive and encouraging environment is essential for women with histories of violence and poor academic success, as more than skill accumulation, women must learn to assert their rights in attaining such skills, therein increasing selfworth and autonomy (Stromquist, 2006).
School, however, has often been a loaded context for women with severe trauma histories, as learning was often compromised by experiences of childhood and family violence (Horsman, 1999). For women survivors of trauma, literacy learning could have the potential to trigger learners back to childhood replete with struggles with learning to read and write and compounding violence and abuse in the home (Horsman, 1999). Adult survivors may experience difficulty concentrating and learning in the classroom and even experience panic at returning to a mainstream classroom (Horsman, 1999). For these reasons, as well as other structural, social and political influences, many women either do not participate or drop out of adult literacy programs.
Too often women’s limitations to take advantage of such programs are considered a personal failure (Spender, 1992). This response, according to Stromquist (1990) implies full autonomy of women and discounts or hides the structural and systemic barriers, for example, of low-income women; of the studies in her review she states, “motivation pales as an explanatory factor when compared to the physical, material, and ideological obstacles they face” (p. 103).
Given the tenuous and difficult relationship with school many women survivors of violence experience, to be able to explore the self, learn and engage in creative writing processes in a supportive learning environment that is sensitive to the trauma histories and unique needs of women survivors could be normalizing and healing. The ability to succeed according to their own terms, at their own pace and to assert their own voices could greatly enhance women’s self-esteem and self-worth, and ultimately contribute to their success.
The current studies
This is a qualitative study that uses content analysis to organize and examine the results of each of the three data sources (narrative, writing, women’s thoughts about their photographs), and develop themes. Analysis of the data has revealed a number of major themes, or threads. First, the function of the narrative, the writing, and the photography and interview about the photos was identified by women as having value in identifying strengths and a sense of journey. Second, the participation in all of these activities was identified as strengthening and as an experience that allowed them to ‘give back’, and to engage reciprocally with their community so as to help other women and professionals who work with women. The final theme was that of isolation/connection. Each woman expressed her feelings and
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experiences of connection and isolation to and with others. Overarching all themes was the notion of invisibility and silence, identified as a key theme for themselves and for women in their immediate and distant communities – to feel, and help others feel, like they are not invisible and that they are heard.
Engaged in the writing activities, the women talk about the sense of community in the room and the importance of trust:
“Here in this group I know the women, you know, I’d already trusted then enough to share my deepest writing and here we got to know Ellen, too, the group facilitator you know? She, I already know her so it’s easy for me to share with her, But if I was to go to a workshop outside Bridges, I wouldn’t be able to share my writing ‘cause I don’t know people, and I don’t like to share my writing like that, I have to get to know the person first.”
The writing is typically conducted in a group format – women are working on pieces, sharing ideas, checking in with each other for feedback and encouragement. This group format provides safety and a sense of acceptance and competence, when many continue to experience low self-efficacy when it comes to schoolwork:
“the group writing just adds more to what you already know, you what I mean? It’s kind of like a guideline…yeah you already know how to write, but it gives you – there’s so many parts to writing – and sometimes the group gives you like a clear point on how to write and make what you’re writing a lot clearer, …and how to get your point across sometimes…it even taught me how to free write. Before its like, k, I gotta think of something to write about…what am I gonna call it, like, here I learned there’s something called free writing, you just write, and I never knew that, you know?”
The notion of therapeutic value in engaging in creative activities was identified as a theme,
“…don’t just keep it inside and that helps you to feel de-stressed you know, and if you are frustrated you know that will help you too, that’s what I told you, that’s what I so when I get upset.”
“sometimes I write and maybe I just wanted to crunch up the paper and throw it in the garbage…it’s just I think it’s a way for me to get that out of my body like whatever I feel inside of me and then just, this is how I feel and instead of thinking of the anger of someone else you know, and then just crunch that up and throw it out like with that freedom that I can do that and then say ‘OK I feel better’”.
Another theme was that of the journey, of reciprocity and mutual engagement. Women expressed their motivation to participate as a desire to share their experiences so others could learn from them:
“ It does my heart good knowing that others can learn from my experience.”
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Another woman expressed her desire to send a message by working hard in the Bridges Project to that others could see how important the project is for “women like us”; she also stated that she felt good knowing that with the research she is participating in, that “it will help other women to recognize signs and not let…it go this far.” Talking about the classroom and activities women said,
“In here, you don’t feel ashamed.”
“We are using our own experience to help others.”
Women also spoke about their personal journeys in developing a sense of belonging at school,
“Before I came here I didn’t have any friends. I wasn’t allowed. That’s over now, now I know what I’ve been missing.” “there is no judgment here. If you have a bad day it’s okay.”
With this theme there was also an expression of disappointment in society in terms of racism.
One photo was of a rock, representing sadness, along with the woman’s hand and her son’s foot to represent the difference in their skin tone and the racism she had experienced.
The themes of isolation and connection were intertwined, sometimes appearing separately and sometimes simultaneously:
One woman spoke of her occasional desire to “just disappear”. She spoke about her fondness of ghost stories and how she can relate to ghosts and their feeling “isolated…’cause they were taken from a world and put in a strange world…I feel kinda the same way.” One woman wrote about her hands and how they at once seemed hers, and not belonging to her,
“My hands are worn out,
They are so wrinkled they looked
Like grannie’s hands.
My hands are soldiers.”
The vulnerability expressed by one woman captures the enormous risks we ask women to take in coming to school, making friends, and opening herself up to new experiences,
“I have to talk about this. Last week I thought to quit school. I thought I had a friend, you (k)now
I work so hard to have a friend. I seem to work hard so I don’t know what to do when she won’t call. So I think I can’t get involved. I try to talk about it at Wednesday Meeting (group therapy) but they shut me out. So I shut down. Well I got on the bus after the meeting, I had a panic atake. Not good. Got off the bus and cry a lot. I got the next bus. P.S. I’m lost.”
Finally, the stories the women write and share help them express their feelings and experience support and love in times of difficulty. One woman wrote this story and brought it to the group writing day and asked everyone to read it to “see if I did the right thing. I think I did.”
My story about going to the dentist on April 19. Will I got there ½ hour early. I no it was going to be in the front of my mouth and at the back. So at first
Susan Rodger, RWE Conference, Nov. 7, 2008 7

you know I was scared. I reminded him about it*, “Remember about my mouth”.
He looked so MEAN. So I knew I was in trouble, scared. SO he put something in to freeze it then he looked in m mouth. I gust (guess) I was doing something wrong he yelled and said to open my mouth “You know we can’t do this if you can’t open it.” So I said STOP and I through (threw) the thing from my neck and
I said this is not (w)right for you two yell at me because you are in a bad moud. I walked out speed to the bus and I said Ima going to report you he said I gust you want cavities. I walk away breathing fast and crying walk to the bus was crying all the way home. The Bus Driver said are you ok when I got off the bus I said I will be. (*she had disclosed experience of abuse to the dentist earlier, regarding her fear of things invading her mouth in order to help the dentist understand that she didn’t like things in her mouth and had a very sensitive gag reflex.)
Conclusion
Much has been offered in the previous literature in the area of writing as a therapeutic intervention for trauma survivors, such as, breaking silence and isolation through telling, connecting with others and gaining community as well as increased understanding and organization of the traumatic experience. Some of the underlying theory around expressive trauma writing, however, which is based on little empirical evidence, leans too far towards the assumptions and prescription that the trauma story be uncovered, re-constructed and understood in order for recovery and positive gain. We have argued here for the writing process in trauma recovery steered by the individual choices and agendas of the survivors themselves. Writing then may mean writing about trauma; however, it may mean writing about different stories of women’s lives and experiences. Given that many survivors of extreme and chronic abuse struggle with affect regulation skills and, as a result, tend to require more avoidant coping strategies
(Briere), writing about any topic as a coping mechanism for avoiding the severe and intense memories of trauma or as an alternative to more self-destructive coping mechanisms would certainly be appropriate if not beneficial.
Further, we have presented a case in support of unique and specialized learning programming that can meet the needs of women survivors whose relationship with education and learning has been significantly distorted. A learning environment in which women survivors can explore the self, learn literacy skills, meet accomplishments and connect with other women is an advantageous environment to facilitate women’s empowerment, enhanced self-esteem and self-worth and perhaps, heal the wounds of trauma.
While we agree that writing should not be a substitute for action (Pennebaker, 1990), the potential for healing and growth offered through the writing process and the creation of new identities and
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community could reach beyond individual lives and affect society as a whole. The broad and powerful potential with expressive writing as an intervention for trauma recovery and healing is, therefore, an important avenue deserving of continued exploration.
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